Why is it that we fear the unknown?
It’s a bad habit I guess.
For example. Whenever I go to a party or something, in my mind, I’m always like, “what if I fall?” Or “what if I don’t know anyone there?”
It’s like I let my nerves focus solely on the negatives of what could happen.
Why do I do that?
Why don’t I let myself imagine the positives?
Like, what if I go to the party and have an awesome time?
Well, this is something that is not new for me. Nor is it something that is specific to events.
It was part of my anorexia recovery too.
When I was in the last of my weight restoration period, I was absolutely terrified of the last several pounds. I was petrified that if I were to be in my “weight range” that I would be huge. A whale. Ginormous.
And it was because I didn’t know what it was going to be like, so my mind went to the negative.
So I wanted to share something that I thought would be helpful. Something that I wish I would’ve seen when I was recovering.
And that’s this: weight restored does not mean fat.
I hesitate to post this picture on here, for fear of seeming “egotistical,” but I honestly believe that had I seen something like this when I was stuck in that place of being terrified of the last several pounds, it would have been really helpful. For had I seen this, I would’ve been able to actually see that weight restored does not mean fat. It means healthy. It means not emaciated. It means not scary.
And having seen something like this, I would have realized that instead of being scared, I should be thinking about how exciting it is that my body is blooming. And how beautiful my body is going to be once I’m weight restored. And not just physically beautiful, but possessing beauty that comes from the inside. Beauty of a mind at peace. Beauty of a heart that rests in Him. Beauty of a spirit that is no longer enslaved, but free.
Instead of being afraid of how your body will look, why not approach it with wonderful anticipation – with bated breath – because the truth is, you’re beautiful from the inside out. And your restored body will reflect that.
This mindset of looking to the future with hope and positive curiosity is healthy in all aspects of life.
Because I was thinking about it the other day: when I fear the unknown, I’m basically saying that I don’t trust that God will take care of me.
There are so many things that can cause worry and anxiety today: where to go to school, what to major in, what job to take, is “Mr. Right” really “Mr. Right,” how to parent your kids, how to make ends meet. There’s always something pressing on our hearts. But we are promised that God really will take care of us.
Romans 8:28 God causes all things to work together for good.
I literally have absolutely nothing to be anxious or worried or apprehensive about. Not about body image, or meeting my future husband, or what my next acting gig is going to be, or how my health is going to hold up. Because the truth is, God is taking care of all that. And His plans are good. That’s all He wants for His children. So there’s literally nothing to be worried about. So I can rest peacefully, knowing that I’m not in control, He is.
So if you find yourself fretting about this or that this week, just remember that He’s in control. And if you’re an ED warrior facing a seemingly insurmountable task of restoring fully, just know that weight restored does not mean fat.