Tough Question

You wanna know why I like watching movies? Or TV, or theater, or shoot, even a good book?

It’s because I like to imagine myself as the main character.

Maybe that’s the actor in me. Or perhaps I’m nauseatingly narcissistic. But it’s something that I’ve just always done. Case in point: reading the Harry Potter books growing up, I envisioned myself as Hermione Granger.

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And I still do 😛

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So, naturally, when I go to church, I envision myself as the character in the story or parable.

So sue me.

But tonight the story was about the blind man, from Mark 10:46.


And I know I’ve written about the miracles of Jesus before. But this passage particularly struck me.

The gist of the gospel was this: A blind man sees Jesus coming down the road. Blind man calls out to Jesus, “Have pity on me!” Crowd pushes man aside. Blind man continues calling. Jesus calls blind man to come. He does. Jesus asks blind man, “What do you want?” Blind Man answers, “I want to see.” Jesus tells him, “Go your way; your faith has saved you.” Immediately blind man receives sight and follows Jesus.

What do you want?

That, friends, is a loaded question.

In four little words, your world becomes simultaneously crystal clear, and yet tremendously cloudy.

What do you want?

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I think a lot of times, we don’t know the answer to that. Or we do know the answer, but are afraid to say it. OR, we know what the answer should be, and want it, but also don’t want it.

I think, if we really stop and think about it, that question defines who we are. Really. Truly.IMG_3840

Because, I’ve got to be honest, early on, when it came to my recovery, my mouth was saying one thing, but my actions were communicating another.

And I’m guessing I’m not alone in that: wanting something is one thing. But actually doing it is quite another.

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And this is not specific to eating disorder recovery either. Whether we’re talking about what we want our future to look like, our career path, our social position, our sports career projection, our school degree plan, family plan – you name it. We have to actually know what we want, and then do it.

I could learn a lot from the blind man in this story.

Not only was he actively seeking out Jesus, but he knew what he wanted.

“What do you want?”

“I want to see.” Boom.

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He knew that Jesus was capable of a miracle — hello: receiving sight. So he asked, and believed and it was because of that faith that he was healed.

Lastly, one of the things that also sticks out to me was this whole, pity thing.

“Lord, have pity on me.”

Some translations use the word mercy, but I actually think this translation that uses pity reveals something.

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Because here’s the actual definition of pity: to feel sorrow for the misfortune of.

This blind man kept calling out to Jesus, “Have pity on me!” “Have pity on me!” Yes, this man had a misfortune: he was blind. That’s a pretty grave misfortune.

But you know what?

Jesus didn’t have pity on this man. Instead, He asks him, “What do you want?”

Taking pity would have been saying, “Oh, poor you. You’re blind. Allow me to do X and Y for you because I feel sorry for you.”

No.

What did Jesus do?

He challenged him to action. Gave him an empowerment. A way to change his life.

“What do you want?”

And you know what? The blind man actually wanted to get well. He wanted to see.

“I want to see.”


How would you answer that question? How would I answer that question?

Do we really want to give up that addiction – whether it be to online shopping, gossiping, alcohol, overworking or over-studying, striving for perfection, unhealthy habits, anger, our eating disorder?

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Like I said, for a long time, my answer was not always, “I want to get well.”  Because, frankly, my anorexia was “safe.” It was “comfortable.” I was too afraid to even entertain the idea of what life without it would be like. So the answer to my question was very different. What do you want? — I want to be left alone.

We’ve got to get to the point where we can honestly say, I want this. I want freedom. I want recovery. I want a fresh start. A better job. A better degree. A relationship where I’m treated with respect. I want it!

So I invite you to just put yourself in that blind man’s spot.

How would you answer that question?

What do you want?

Because here’s the scary part: if you ask for it, He will give it. But you’ve gotta want it.

So again, what do you want?

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94 responses to “Tough Question”

  2. this was such a blessing to me… made me learn to ask then seek…. yesssss thank u for this powerful word.. I even had to reblog it 😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘

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  3. You continue to praise God for his wisdom and love. Thank you. (:

    Mark 5: 39: Jesus said, ” For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

    If the blind man knew what he was seeking, then how much more are we blessed. In fact, those who cannot see now are more spiritually aware than those who’ve been bestowed the wonders of the world. Once again, thanks.

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  6. What a worthwhile article. Full of meat for the mature Christian. We sometimes just want anything that will make us happy! Mindful of knowing our real need. Good thoughts.

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  7. I want to love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind and all my strength. The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. If I have perfect devotion to my God I will trust Him and not doubt Him. I will trust and rest and believe everything He said about me is true. And because He is absolute love I will absolutely love everyone. I will surrender my plans for His amazingly bigger than life vision for me and know Father knows best. I can’t think of a happier or more fulfilling life.

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  11. Wonderful message! And you are right, this message is not only for those dealing with an eating disorder but for all hurts, habits, and hang ups. I have a family member in his 8th rehab and is right where you described: he is saying all the right things but I am not sure he wants it. Also, he is waist deep in recriminations and pity…

    Thanks for writing such a well written and expressed message. God bless you.

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    • Thank you so much Loretta. You’re very kind:) oh gosh, sending up prayers for him! Breaking addiction, to whatever it is, is always difficult. But never impossible. Nothing is impossible with Him! Thanks for stopping by xx

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  13. Reminds me of a line in that movie Nebraska. The son said to his mom that his dad wanted to go check his lottery ticket. They were old and she said,” I didn’t know he wanted to be a millionaire, he should’ve worked for it!” I think that’s so funny.

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    • Oh gosh I’m so glad this struck a chord with you! That’s my prayer whenever I write l – is that it will resonate with someone who needs to hear it. So glad our paths crossed. Blessings to you friend cx

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  17. Oh, for so long I had prayed for God to take it all away. At the end of my “torture session walks”, I would stop at my favorite park, sit on the amphitheater steps, and cry and pray. Over and over each and every day I would do this. However, my heart was not in it. Basically, it was all lip service. Then the day did come when I really did call out to Jesus, taking responsibility for my eating disorder, and humbly and sorrowfully asking for forgiveness and healing. Why did I wait so long before getting serious in my asking? Why did God wait all that time to place His hand of healing upon me? Because I had to REALLY, REALLY WANT IT!!! And I did. Like the blind man who wanted his site, I wanted nothing more than to have a relationship with Jesus built upon faith that brought me to His healing grace. As they say in the secular world; if you want something badly enough, you will go out and get it by hook or by crook. But the world could not give me the kind of healing only our LORD can provide. To God be the glory!

    Such a beautifully written piece. I am going to share this with my head-crack (therapist).

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this Lizzy. You’re so right: we have to really want it- by hook or by crook:) that’s the first I’ve heard of that saying but I like it 🤓 anywho, I’m so glad you’ve found that freedom and peace. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart. Blessings xx

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  18. Another great blog entry as usual 🙂 The tough questions we ask of what we want can look like it was made something harder when the answer as you imply in this blog post is one has to wait indefinitely. Which in other means, who knows. I love how you open your blog post talking about how you like to imagine yourself as the main character of a film, book or TV show 🙂 People have often asked me that and considering that I love to talk about filmmakers a lot, I usually respond with either Robert Altman or Akira Kurosawa 🙂 I know they are both dead, but look their names up on IMDB because they directed a lot of great films 🙂 In fact, when you started blogging on my site cinematiccoffee, that is how I discovered your site and thank God for that because I have on here truly inspiring stuff 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

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    • Thank you so much John 🙂 I’ll definitely look those filmmakers up! I’m such a film nerd 🤓🤓🤓 you’re right, it’s hard to know what we want – sometimes because of fear, sometimes because of simply not knowing! Thanks for stopping by and for passing along those names! Have a great night!

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  19. Discerning God’s Word is a gift and this post definitely shows that! I love how you comment on pity. Feeling sorry for ourselves is sinfully self indulgent. God expects us to know the answer to that question, “What do you want” and know whether or not its the right sort of answer as well. If its not, he expects action from us. He expects prayer. He expects acknowledgement on our part. I think you touched on all of this very well. Bravo!

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  21. BBB, Love the post. And thanks for all your Likes. Yup, the blind man – a symbol of us all – asked Jesus for his sight. Christ will open the eyes of anyone who seeks sincerely Him and His salvation.

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  23. Thank you so much for this, it makes me think of that passage, “Ask, and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will be open to you.”(Matt. 7:7) It’s not just what God can do for us–because He can do ANYTHING, it’s about what we will allow Him to do through us.

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  24. Hi there. Thanks for liking my blog. Always like to know what part of it spoke to you though. So don’t hesitate to leave a comment if you like. Your article is so beautifully written and straight from the heart. Thanks for sharing your faith and journey with us. Nice to meet you. Uchechi.

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  31. Wow–beautiful post. Well written and thought provoking! I agree we must WANT it. And work for it while allowing God’s grace to take us in. So glad I came across your blog!!! New favorite. <3

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  34. I’m just an ordinary guy from Jersey City who God decided and convinced me almost 30 years to become a United Methodist pastor. One of the things I learned in seminary is that in order to get some meaning from a Bible story you start by asking about what it might have meant to the writer, then ask what it meant to those it was written to at the time of writing, and finally ask what it might mean to people in the present, and especially what it means to you. Despite being a pastor, I’m not an expert about all that, but I do believe in what you are writing you are applying what I was taught in seminary. You are a great preacher. Thanks for checking in on my Ray of Hope Ministries Bible study blog. Grace and peace to you, Ray Gough (rohmbible.wordpress.com) and (rohmnj.wordpress.com)

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    • Wow Ray, thank you so much. Seriously, thank you! Your encouragement means a lot. God is so good and to Him be the glory! I’m just a broken vessel trying to be a mouth piece for Him:) thanks for stopping by and for such kind words. Have a wonderful evening and I look forward to reading more from you! Blessings!

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  35. Hey there! Loved this . . . I posted a similar concept last week. (great minds . . .? I think so). Great reminder for us all. I love the idea of Christ EMPOWERING us. All we need to do is ask . . . seek Him first. Blessings.

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  36. I didn’t realize the blind man used the word “pity.” That makes this parable seem even more revolutionary. It’s so easy to feel sorry for ourselves because of things that are beyond our control. But feeling sorry for ourselves is the worst thing, isn’t it. Thanks!

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    • Hi Laurel. You’re so right. It is so easy to fall into that trap of feeling sorry for ourselves. But you’re right, we’ve been given a spirit of power. And it’s comforting to know that everything is in His hands so we don’t have to worry. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

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  37. Beebs, you shouldn’t ask me what I want. You should know better than that. I want the Twilight Zone times 20. ‘Course, you probably didn’t want to know that, but hey, YOU asked.

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      • Haha, yes! I read the books a bunch of times! And I do exactly the same thing, I imagine myself always as the hero, who rescues his beauty 😀 A man needs three things to come alive: a exciting adventure, a good fight and a beauty to rescue, love and protect against … You know who….!!!

      • I never heard a women saying something like that. Contemplating a whole week about what a man truly desires… haha that’s so sweet 🙂 your devotion (to your future husband) is really disarming. You desire it so passionatly and at the same time… you fear it… this intensity and intimacy. You are bursting with energy, like a little hummingbird, flying around so excited about everything, waiting eagerly to give your heart away in a stormwind of true belonging and total surrender. One thing is absolutely sure, Caralyn…. you are a adventure 🙂

      • Aw thanks. You have no idea…it really is just as perplexing to me! haha I’m actually writing a post about it right now!! thanks for being such a great friend 🙂 You’re a blessing to me! hugs xo

      • Are you ready to risk yourself for love? The only place where we are perfectly save from all the dangers of love is… hell. Only if we risk something, can we receive the greater Blessings… love can only breath in the openness…. in the vast open space… where two souls risk everything for each other. Hell is a place, where we are always in security, but never truly alive… but Love is wild and risky and calls you by your name. Love demands everything, everything, everything. Your wholeness. Light and dark, tears and laughter. Love calls you by your name, by your truth, and shows you who you are, embraces your wounds and your brokenness and guides the damn ship back into the lead. Love calls you your name, your secret name, that only love can hear. Love invites you to Narnia. Are you ready to go there?

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