Thank You, Captain Obvious

*sigh*

It was an…interesting weekend.

I always find myself on Sunday night, staring at a blank computer screen wondering, “Okay, God. What the H am I supposed to write.”

Tonight…I know exactly what I’m supposed to say.

Back at the beginning of this month, I published the post, Honesty Hour. And first of all, I have just been blown away by the outpouring of encouragement and kindness. So thank you. Truly.


But in it, I talked about feeling restless about what I’m supposed to do with my life, my career, my love life, everything.

And basically, I summed it up by saying that God is always communicating with us. We just have to be aware.

Well this weekend, He smacked me upside the head with His message.

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But what happens when what He’s saying is not what you want to hear?

Allow me to set the stage.

3 boys. 3 days. 3 messages.

God pulled A Christmas Carol – “Ghost of Christmas Past” – move on me.

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Thursday night: I’m falling asleep and I literally pray out loud in exasperation, “God, please just show me what you want me to do with my love life. I’m tired of waiting.”


There are a few interesting guys on my radar. Now, I am completely aware that this sounds like I’m “playing the field.” But that’s not the case. In an effort to be open to love, I am trying to be open to the people that God places in my life. And so, there are a couple interesting guys. Interesting sparks, if you will.

Well, during three different episodes this weekend, I was shown legitimate deal breakers about each and every one of them.

That, my friends, is what you call God being Captain Obvious.


Think I’m exaggerating?

Friday Night: I find out Guy A, possibly has another girlfriend back in his home country.


This is learned from a conversation I had with one of his 10 friends visiting from across the pond.

Communicated: this guy could possibly have infidelity issues.
Saturday Night: I have a 2 hour conversation with my mother about my love life and what God wants me to do with my life. I feel restless and super impatient, but my mother assures me that God has a plan and that He will reveal it.

Not even an hour after that conversation ends, Guy B literally shows up on my doorstep,  having taken a bus to NYC. He wanted to reevaluate why I ended things back in January. I have not heard from him in months. He had everything going for him – but I just didn’t have that romantic feeling.

What I think is being communicated: This is obviously God saying, “Get over yourself, BBB! This is the guy for you!” 

But I will find out, that is not the message.

Sunday Afternoon: Guy C has a birthday party and he does not issue me a personal invitation. Which doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. He didn’t personally invite anyone, and come on…this is the world of Facebook and texting. Get over yourself, right? But we’ve had a history since 2012, so you would think he’d make an emotional advance already!


Communicated: this guy either doesn’t truly care or lacks the gumption to reveal his feelings.

Let me pause here. These are three guys who I have known since I moved to NYC in 2012. And I have been “pursued” by each one individually for 2-3 years. That’s a significant amount of time. Not that I’ve wasted, but that, I’ve been stalling. Mainly because I haven’t been ready to accept love, but none the less, I have never shown my cards — been in a perpetual state of waiting.

And then this weekend happens right after I prayed that prayer.

So I was like, “Dang, I need to figure out what all this means. STAT.”


And here’s what I got: I think that in each of these three situations, God has shown me that I’ve been devoting all this time and energy into these relationships, and none of them are who He has planned. So I need to stop spinning my wheels and find someone who will a) have me as his one and only, b) respect my boundaries and c) be able to communicate his feelings.

God was telling me no.

And that is hard to hear.


Could I have read that big romantic gesture of showing up Breakfast-Club-style as God smacking me over the head saying, Helloooo! Do I have to spell it out for you!? I am hand delivering who is right for you!

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Sure. But I’m missing the greater message. The message as it relates to this crazy and blatantly coincidental weekend.

God says no sometimes. And it sucks. But I have to trust that He’s not going to leave me high and dry.

Maybe I’m supposed to realize that I’m not looking for love in the right places. That my friend group is not the place to find love.


Maybe Guy B’s freakishly timely arrival at my doorstep was just God reminding me that there are still good guys out there and that I shouldn’t compromise.

Maybe God is just winking at me saying, “You wanted a sign, you got one, baby!”

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I don’t know. I have to pray and reflect more on all of this.

But here’s what I do know:

God does communicate with us. In conversations. In coincidental circumstances. In your gut when you just get that feeling. In people showing up at your door in the middle of the night.


He is always sending us messages. But how often do we actually take some time to actually reflect on what it is He’s trying to say?

I am SO guilty of this. Life is BUSY. I’m working, hanging out with my friends, blogging, instagramming, writing posts, thinking about posts, insta-stalking Beyonce and her “Becky with the good hair” scandal…

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…going grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning — and this is all while multi-tasking and listening to a podcast in my ear at the same time!

My mind is never quiet.

So truly, how then should I expect to hear God’s gentle whisper??

So advice time: how do you do this? I’m genuinely asking? How do you make sure you are able to hear God’s voice?

Because it’s out there.


So that’s what I’ve got.

I’m just trying to trust. To remember that God knows exactly what he’s doing. And even though I don’t understand, He does. And He already has the right man picked out for me. I won’t be able to miss him.

God has never once abandoned me. Not through my anorexia. Not through fears and changes and new starts and pain. He has always been faithful. And He’s always encouraging me and communicating with me along the way. The trick is to recognize His speaking.


 

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313 responses to “Thank You, Captain Obvious”

  1. I think I’m still not ready to open myself to love in that way. I feel like I’m happy where I’m at right now and busy. I don’t know if I have the emotional bandwidth to love both myself and another person when loving myself is so hard. I’m also really busy and want God to give me someone who is not hard to love. I finally am accepting myself, I don’t want to have to make changes to that person for another. I guess I don’t know what I’m looking for, if I’m looking for anyone at all…
    Sounds sad, but you’re right, God will lead. I will follow.

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    • Hey Ellie! Thank you for sharing this. Girl I feel. You. Oh my gosh, I do. It is so hard to open your heart to loving another person. I’m not there yet-I’m still probably only 60-70% there, but it’s a journey and I trust wholeheartedly that God will lead me where I need to go. And same for you. God will work on your heart and reveal someone special to you when you are ready. There’s no rush. I think you’re really brave and on the right path my friend. Sending so much love xox

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      • I know this is hard, and I’m really not one to talk, but when they step to the altar, two people promise to surrender themselves to be Christ’s committed emissary in each other’s life. That only seems like a sane thing to do if you’ve had that experience at least once with them – that they disappear and become God’s representative in your life making sense of who you are as a woman, and that you feel at some moment that you disappear and God reaches through you to touch them to make sense of who they are as a man. That ultimately leads to both partners disappearing to see God between them, and finally for that to become a reproducible practice so that when they come together, God is with them. So, while it is fair to ask “when is God going to send someone to me”, we also have to pray for the reverse. And we have to keep on practicing with our potential partners, because we never know when that opening will occur and God will step into the relationship. So at every moment, with every person, we have to keep on asking: what is God trying to do for them through me?

        And here I am blathering on and you just liked my post on the nature of the sacred. It really should be like that. And that may mean that we should never pray “When will I receive,” because it is in offering ourselves that the power of love is able to make the connection.

        I hope that this makes sense. It’s almost midnight and I’m not too sure I understand what I’m writing myself.

      • Thank you so much, Brian, for this wonderful perspective. I love this: you’re right: your spouse definitely holds an important place, as the union between man and wife includes God. Thanks for this great insight. Sending hugs and love xox

  3. The verse “be still and know” sometimes translates better in Hebrew text…..”cease striving and know.” Works for me. Love your commitment to a better way.

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  4. I know it’s cliche (and the older I get, the more I start to spew them), but love finds you when you’re not looking for it. When you’re not ready. When the timing is wrong. When you meet someone who is right, you won’t have to wonder. You won’t have to spend years figuring out what’s the deal. When THE ONE comes along, it hits you on the head, because you realize you met someone who feels like family and you “won’t be able to quit him.” Relax, continue living your life, love yourself, value yourself and fill it with happiness so you feel complete when you are alone. Only then, he will magically appear.

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      • I was in such a miserable marriage w/ a 2-year-old and felt so stuck, hopeless, sad every day. Then one day I took my son to his first real birthday party and a clown came to entertain. Ten years to the day later married him. I never thought I’d be rewarded with the real love of my life because I screwed up w/ my choice the first time. Unexpected places and times. I don’t believe in “God” in the same way as you do, but I believe in a greater force that will reward you for living your truth. I’m rambling. Cheering for you and <3

      • Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad you’ve found the true love of your life! That is so amazing and inspiring. So glad you stopped by and shared your heart! Sending hugs and love 🙂 xox

  5. I try having alone time with God. Reflecting on His word. Also when I ask a question, listening in that moment for an answer. Like having a conversation with Him. Doesn’t always work of course because I get impatient waiting for a response and as you said, it’s so hard to quiet the mind. But it takes practice. We’re all learning and growing together ☺️

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    • Hi there! Thank you for these great suggestions. Very helpful. I think I need to just practice and keep making that quiet time be a priority. Thanks for reading! Sending hugs and love xox

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  6. I love this! Sending you so much Light and love, and big hugs. What came present for me (and maybe this is because it’s what I need to hear) is that when God closes one for, it’s because he’s going to open an even better one. I split with a partner I truly loved a few weeks ago, and I’m rely working through that. Thank you, thank you for your post. 😊 Blessings

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    • thank you so much for sharing this. i’m sorry you’re going through a break up. sending a big hug. you’re so right – God will always take care of us, so if he closes a door, there is always something better on the horizon. thanks again for the encouragement. hugs and love xox

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  7. Gosh, this post is so beautiful! You truly deserve a good, holy man and I believe he is worth the wait and will exceed all your expectations because he is given to you by God. Teenage girls must read this post, give the Lord the pen to write their love story and trust in Him – I know I have 🙂 Blessings!

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    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words. I love that imagery of God writing my love story. Very powerful. Hope you have a beautiful night! Hugs and love xoxo

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  8. Yes Listen to him your right he knows….we all get impatient and that’s when things go wrong, I know easier said then done. but he will show you the right one . Hugs (:

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  9. It sounds as though you’re on the path to acceptance. And keeping your mind and heart open to all sorts of possibilities. Why do I have such a strong feeling that a guy, the right guy, will come into your life when you least expect it. In the meantime, love yourself, take care of yourself and know that God is looking out for you. Everything else will fall into place. Beautiful post.

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  10. Job 33:14-16 KJV
    For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not.
    [15] In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed;
    [16] Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction,
    Blessings.

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  11. Ive asked my daughter “why” is a relationship necessary at this point (shes 18) not as an argument but a point of reflection. Is the why due to loneliness, a genuine desire to find a life mate and to be ready for ALL of that entails whether it be sickness, a little neglect if you are seeing a workaholic, just life stuff … a friend of mine got married and found out she had cancer a month later and she had a good guy that seriously loved her and they are making it but it puts a strain on any relationship. If its companionship without knowing if you are ready for a commitment get a plant or a fish … something to love kind of thing. Visit an animal shelter … something that provides comfort until you can figure it out. Is the why due to needs of validation, is the why because you feel like this is something that should be accomplished with in a certain time frame and do you feel like you have failed if its not on schedule. Just stuff to ponder. Good luck, God loves you and this stuff is just teachable moments from Him 💘 He knows us better than we know ourselves, deep breaths, pen, paper, jot down thoughts.

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      • Sorry if Im blowing it up😶😃 Marriage is for 2 people to become one, a reflection of the Church and Christ. You are precious in His sight and He isnt going to give your hand to somebody who is unworthy of you, as any Father would not. He will walk you down the aisle for somebody who will be joined to you to glorify His kingdom and who will be a reflection of how He feels about you. Praying,… it WILL happen!

  12. I LOVE this post and you are SO REAL with it!!! Many people try to be so prim and proper that they lose their message in the confusion of perfection. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I guess what I’m saying is that you have mastered the skill of speaking in your own voice in your writing. I feel like I’m sitting and having a cup of coffee or tea with you and listening to your story!! I love that !!!!!

    As far as listening to God’s voice, I’m with you in many ways. One thing that has been a blessing to me in that area is that I have been unable to afford television for a few years now. I am so excited about how much more I hear from God when He talks because the noise of my life isn’t drowning Him out!!! It seems revolutionary! LOL

    As far as the dating thing, I, too, am learning to accept love. Because of several abuse situations in my life, I have had much trouble ACCEPTING love from others!!! What I kind of hear you saying is that you have struggled with the same issue. Well, I’m so glad that God is there to keep us from making mistakes because we have believed lies about relationships in the past. He is the ULTIMATE model of what a man should be in our lives and as I was reading your post, I realized that I should be patterning my search for a man based on the attributes I see in God. It may seem stupid, but it never really occurred to me before. Thanks again for sharing!!

    Nikki

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  13. Hello beautybeyondbones, It took me some years to accept not being in a relationship. The men that were in my life were not meant for me. Although I am not in a relationship, and have not been for some time, I am at peace. I would like the right individual to enter my life, but what I want most is to do God’s will. So, if it is His will, I know he will send the man that is meant for me to me. I have to be ready, and the man has to be ready. God is always preparing both individuals. Thank you for you post. LaShea

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    • Hi LaShea, thank you for this heartfelt reflection. How beautiful. You’re right. I want to do Gods will as well, so I’ll wait on His timing. Thanks for this great perspective. Hugs and love xox

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  14. My friend B.I I’ve taken sometime to read your post . I had to read it because it was about boys, and of course I’m a boy that has been in your shoes with the opposite sex. Here’s what I gather, you’re a terrific person. Millions can see that you Love God. Give your Mom a pat on the back for the way she has taught you. I still go through this sort of thing from time to time wondering when it will happen, and who?
    I’ve had many discussions with people about this. Wondering is Girl A perfect for me, no wait maybe it’s girl B or let’s look at girl C. I can only tell you what told me in this situation. “Dear Child, Be Still and Know That I Am God.” We as people sometimes forget who is in control. What we sometimes fail to realize beauty isn’t defined by certain facial features. The look of a person’s eyes or status that they may have. Perhaps this is your hour to draw near to Him. On a personal level perhaps Girl A is not for me, she may have a cute smile and absolutely adore Jesus but life should not about a race to the altar. However it is a race to his Altar. We as people have to understand that even the world may classify us as being single, we are not we are united by Christ. His Love surpasses all understanding. In fact, that is I took the bold step to come out of the world and be separate unto Him Which is why I started the blog because I wanted to show the masses that old children’s song was right. Jesus loves me this I know because the Bible tells me so…. Press ON

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  15. It is always hard to hear “No” from God. That’s why people constantly say God didn’t answer their prayers. He did…and His no means there is a yes out there in the future that is far better than what we have in front of us, but we are so “right now” oriented, the thought of waiting can be physically painful. I have been single now for 10 year. I have learned to be comfortable being me and knowing that there may actually be an “IF” for a future relationship, but I’m much older. I work at being happy with that and work daily on resting in His time. It’s hard. I’m praying for you.
    Allison

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  16. Apply your talents to things and ideas that inspire you. Learn all you can about topics and fields of study that you find compelling. This is the best way to cross trails with the best types of life partners.

    Guy B: You didn’t feel romantic. That is a heavy signal that he, whatever his great qualities, isn’t the right one for you. Look for a similar signal that is “romance on” when you meet Guy Z. You’ll know it when you feel it.

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  17. Thank you for this comment, crookedroadfaith. It is encouraging to know that there are other older and single Christian women, like myself, who are patiently waiting on God. LaShea

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    • Thank you for this. I think you’re right. I may not know why now, but I trust it will be clear in the future. Thanks for reading and for the encouragement. Hugs and love xoxo

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  19. BBB (if I may be so bold),

    I have a few thoughts about this very fine post, and since you ask for advice I will be bold and offer a tiny bit.

    With regard to Bachelor #1: you don’t (from what you said) know that he may have a wandering eye, right? At the moment, since he has not declared himself and from what you have said, it also sounds like he might be “in transition” as it were (if the lady back home was not going to work out, or something). So it seems from this ignorant outsider’s perspective – based only upon what you said – that giving up on this fellow at this time may be premature. Maybe you should wait until the probablies become definitelies one way or the other.

    With regard to Bachelor #2: romantic feelings are nice, to be sure, but they don’t last and they won’t see you through the hard times of marriage. You know the situation and I don’t, but a mere absence of feelings of some sort should not, in my opinion, be a total deal-breaker by itself. My wife of 26 years and I never actually dated before our engagement. We were good friends (without benefits thankyouverymuch), and that friendship developed (and is still developing!) into better things.

    With regard to Bachelor #3: at least part of the reason that my wife and I never dated was that I was a total coward (of course, she did turn me down the one time I offered to pay her way…but I digress). It wasn’t until after I ran away from her that I realized I did not want to live without her. The point is that Bachelor #3 may be trying to drum up the courage.

    Anyway, I am *not* trying to make things harder. My point is that love is a choice and a decision that you will have to make everyday even after you are married, and if one of these three particularly interests you, it seems (from what you have said, from this one man’s point of view) that you should not give up hope yet.

    I hope this helps.

    FiN

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    • Hi FiN, thank you so much for this great perspective and advice! i really do appreciate it. Definitely lots of things to think about. You’re right on the money though: love is a choice and a decision to by made every day. thanks again. it does help:) hugs and love xox

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  20. You know Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruits.” If I were you, no matter what, I would take enough time, to find out anyone’s “fruit.” Bad fruit will usually show up, and so will good fruit.

    I use this guide for any relationship I am in. Of course I am married, so it is usually “friendships.” Though I do not judge anyone, I always discern the fruit one is producing. If we do not do this, they can take us to places where God does not want us. Good post. Love and God Bless, SR

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      • While you are taking your “fruit inventory” always remember, sometimes different “fruits” do not mix well together, and they can leave sort of a “bitter taste in your mouth.” 🙂 God Bless, SR

  21. The timing of this is interesting because earlier today I started writing posts around the subject of hearing God’s voice. Stay tuned! What I’d like to say now is that, for believers, a wife is found by a man, women don’t search for husbands (see Proverbs 18:22 and all verses chronically the meeting of couples in the Bible). I remember my single years, knowing I wanted to be married but meeting many “toads.” A wonderful woman of God advised me to spend my time becoming a wife instead of looking for “the guy.” Thank God for wise counsel! I took her up on it, read several Christian books, Bible in tow, and asked Jesus to prepare me. There’s still quite a bit of “on the job training” in marriage, but I can’t imagine how much harder it would be if I’d just spent my single years on the lookout for “the guy.” Bottom line: You do not really grasp the magnitude of what you’re asking for, so let Jesus prepare you for it and leave the timing to Him😉

    Just my two cents, for what it’s worth!

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    • Hi Vanessa! What crazy timing! I will definitely look for it. This is great persecutive. Oh, the toads! you’re so right though. Amen for wise counsel. Thanks for the encouragement! God is good! hugs and love xox

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  22. First, let me say that I LOVE your blog. I was quite tickled all the way through–you have a great sense of humor–but it’s also mainly because I can relate. It can be difficult to be patient in your waiting, and yet you always have to remember God DOES know what’s best. So thanks for the reminder! Second, I just recently went through something where I had to make personal time for God. Sometimes you just have to stop everything–turn the TV off, take out those headphones, put the cell on silent, etc.–find your quiet place in the house or wherever, and be still so you can hear Him.

    When you hear God’s voice you know, and when it sounds like me or it “kinda” sounds like Jesus but not really, then I know it isn’t Him. If it does not line up with scripture, then I KNOW I know that it isn’t Him. Whatever God said should line up with His Word, and as I believe you mentioned, sometimes that means He will tell you what you need to hear even when you don’t want to hear it.

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    • Thank you so much! Aw, that really means a lot. I’m glad it resonated with you! Amen to that: God DOES know best. I just have to trust and BE PATIENT!! And you’re right — i’ve gotta just press pause on the Netflix and make time for Jesus. 30 Rock is great, but God is better! thanks again. hugs and love! xox

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  23. I always find that listening to God doesn’t take true listening. For me it’s always been stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things that I normally wouldn’t do.
    I’ll give you an example. My last blog post I wrote about my divorce and having to see my ex in court. So I went to court that day and any other time I’ve gone, I got myself so worked up and seething angry at him that I would be shaking. Ready to burst as soon as the judge addressed me. This time, I was feeling so good about myself that day, that I chose not to take the usual anger route. At the courthouse, I stepped off the elevator and there my ex sat. Instead of grimacing I said, hey, how are you? Inside the courtroom the judge asked if I had anything to say and instead of spewing negativity, I said some kind words about my ex and his now steady job. I left it at that. I “listened” to God by choosing to do something different. It was a huge step out of my comfort zone.
    Love will find you. Being proud of all you have going on and deciding to be OK with that will give you a heightened sense of confidence. You could be grocery shopping one day, knock over a display case and the man that stops to help you clean up could be your future husband.
    So if that happens, pay attention. 🙂 talk to a man you normally wouldn’t talk to. Do something you aren’t totally used to. You may feel better for it. Or gain another experience.
    One other thing, speaking from personal experience, my current husband and I had little to no chemistry initially. It grew with time. Don’t look for sparks initially. You may find that you build a love and respect for someone which will ignite sparks later on.
    Good luck to you!! Great post!

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    • Hi friend, wow what a powerful testimony. you go rth! 🙂 and thanks for the beautiful encouragement. I do trust that love will find me. remind me to wear something cute to the grocery store 🙂 hehe seriously though, that’s great advice. sending hugs and love xox

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  24. This is my first comment here. I really like your post. There’s a lot of important messages in it. 🙂 The one that screams out to me is : Don’t settle. 🙂

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    • Thank you so much! i’m so glad you stopped by and commented, Jessica! yeah, there’s something out there beyond our wildest dreams. but we can’t find it if we settle. thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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      • You’re welcome. I love your writing. I agree. That settling business crosses into many of life’s lessons… Sometimes it’s hard NOT to go with the flow, but sometimes it’s so worth it!

        Good luck with your “the one”.

  25. I don’t have “the guy” yet either. But I have come to the conclusion that God is still working on me to make me the better mate for the person that He has in mind for me. I want to be in a relationship, but I want to be in the right relationship. I’ve had far too many of the wrong ones in my 35 years. Love will come to you when God is ready for you to meet “him”.

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  26. What a great post! I hate it when He says no though. And as far as trusting the journey – forget it. I don’t even know how half the time. So your post is encouraging. Peace.

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    • Thank you so much! yeah, that’s always tough. I just have to believe that He’s bringing along something better. God is good, and I trust that. thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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  27. I’ve been learning this for almost 8 years and the majority of the time I’ve learned because the girls I dated always dumped me for someone better. Enter depression Yada Yada yada…I always knew God was telling me to put my hope and satisfaction in Him but I JUST HAD to have a girlfriend. Fast forward to my senior year, I feel content, blessed, and then God places the most amazing woman in my life. Guess what…I put all of my hope in her…let’s just say problems problems everywhere. We’re still together but we’re having to grow the hard way. God wants my priority. He wants my attention. He wants my focus. He knows that he is the best thing for me, not an amazing beautiful woman who loves me and cherishes me. I’m stubborn but he’s faithful

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    • Hi Matthew, thank you for sharing this. I think you’re right: God wants us to depend on Him and place our hope in Him. which is hard to do. I’ll definitely keep you and your gf in my prayers. it’s obvious that you care deeply about her. That goes a long way 🙂 thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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  29. I’ve heard it said that when God says no, he has something better for us in mind. Maybe the same goes for you (and me too). Love this post, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. 🙂

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  30. I’d say you put this heart into this post and your hopes, prayers and frustrations with your life so far. My thought is that God is there for all of us who seek, women and men alike. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that some men have asked God for the same blessing, and the effort doesn’t all have to be on your part. Please be open to the possibility that a man may find you, having been guided by God. On the other hand, you have been right, in my opinion to do what the Apostle John says in his first First Letter: “[T]est the spirits to see whether they are from God. . .}.
    For what it’s worth, I believe you are paying attention to the right words and signs. May God grant you all that is good for you. Rich XOX

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  31. I get such an odd kick out of your posts :). They’re like being invited to a young person’s party because I’m just that cool & enjoyable to be around – ROFL. Okay. Being serious now. I’m old enough I’m supposed to know these answers …

    First, you’re right, God has this. Good call. Second, don’t over-analyze or you’ll spend your whole life doing nothing but analyzing. Third, digest your decisions & listen to your gut, to your instincts, to what the Spirit inside is telling you. (I’d underline & bold that if I could.) My gut is/would’ve been right 99.9% of the time. Unfortunately I spent a lot of time & agony going through bookoo crap learning how I should’ve followed mine, so hopefully I’m impressing upon you what a necessary & indispensable shortcut that is. Psssst, woman to woman, he’ll probably be the least one you suspect when you meet him :).

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    • haha thanks! I’m so glad! 🙂 🙂 🙂 And thank you for this great wisdom. Seriously, it means so much and you really spoke to my heart. God DOES have it all under control. And amen to the analyzing! I’m always telling my friends not to over analyze, and yet…here I am doing the same thing! And yes yes yes! I do believe that God has sent us an Advocate and Guide in the HS, and I just have to listen. you are so great! thank you friend! hugs and love xox

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  32. It is one thing to know that God is working in you both to will and to do for the sake of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). It is quite possibly one of the most difficult things to do as a Christian, which is to acknowledge that at all times. We all fail in that regard, but that is also why He sovereignly willed to give us fellowship with one another, pointing each other to Him who is our peace and rest.

    Know that in His own time, God will Himself bring someone to you which will make all the wait worth while. After all, Christ wasn’t revealed to the apostle Paul until he was in his 40’s. But it was all in God’s time.

    My wife and I met at work and were really good friends for a few years, and we had no romantic inklings toward each other. One night, going on a blind date, it ended epically and hilariously bad. In the course of discussing that with her, lo and behold, the Lord revealed my bride to me. I did not expect it, nor was I even looking in her direction. But that night we realized the start of what has been a wonderful, challenging and exciting 14 years.

    So hang in there, keep your chin up and, most important, keep praising the Lord! As another commenter said, “He is faithful!”

    Lastly, thanks for stopping by my blog! I noticed yours as a result and I appreciate this blog. Being a heavier fella, I dealt with a bit of my own demons with the body image thing. As my daughters grow older, I may use this along with my own experiences for any worries or concerns they have. Thank you for that! God bless!

    Reply

    • Hi friend! Thank you for much for this response! You’re so right. That’s why community is so important. And yes, I need to trust in His timing. Easier said than done! Thanks for the encouragement! Sending hugs and love xox

      Reply

  33. Excellent thoughts as always.

    God often reaches me through my favorite music. Specifically, Weezer. If Rivers Cuomo is not a Christian in the official sense of the word, he sure seems in tune with God in every other way.

    I needed to hear “The Angel and the One” this afternoon after visiting my grandfather’s burial site at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery. It just so happened to be playing–the song I needed to hear, out of six CDs in my car’s changer.

    I often feel that Rivers is singing to me when I listen to Weezer, and whether that’s delusional or not, it seems harmless. Anyway, his words hit me like a ton of bricks; I cried so hard I had to pull the car over for a minute.

    “…I’m reaching out my hand, so take it. We are the angels, and we are the ones that are praying. Peace, shalom.”

    Rock on,

    Stephen

    Reply

      • Thanks. I needed that. One can feel very lonely when following (or trying to follow) Christ.

        I don’t want to overshare, but let me say that Lucifer almost talked me into making a large mistake today, and my angels came to my rescue (again).

        Please continue being strong and courageous. Your writing inspires–that is to say, your words breathe air into the lungs of others. Like mine.

        Keep it up, buttercup.

  34. Hi friend!

    This is my first post of yours to read (I just followed you yesterday), and what a pleasure it has been to get to know about your life! 🙂

    Couple of things:
    1. You’re right! The Lord is speaking!
    Here’s what helps me know His voice:

    Be still.
    Spend time in worship (remind yourself who He is).
    Spend some time in the Word (remind yourself how He sounds and what He says about you)
    Start writing. Journal everything that comes to mind and ask the Lord to speak through your thoughts. A lot of times, the Lord guides my thoughts to be what He’s thinking!

    To test it, check it with the character of God (the Bible), circumstance, and peace. God’s word to you will never conflict with His character or the Bible. God is not mean or snotty or anything. He’s sweet, and He loves you.

    2. Right again! The Lord has a great plan for your relationships.

    Keep being faithful and focusing on Him first. You don’t want all these guys if they aren’t pursuing the Lord, so pursue God if that’s the kind of guy you want.
    I totally understand hating the waiting. It stinks. Try to guard your heart by not daydreaming about guys and do something else. Spend time loving on Jesus or your friends and family. When that guy comes in to your life, he will respect and love you, and you’ll have peace.

    Reply

    • Hi and welcome! Thank you so much for the follow, Carlye! and thanks for this beautiful encouragement. I love how you said to remind myself who He is. So true. He is loving, and my Father and wants to give me a good man. What a comfort. You’ve given me such kindness in your words tonight! thank you so much 🙂 big big hugs to you friend! thanks for reading! xox

      Reply

  35. Totally loved this. When Liz and I met it was totally unplanned. My situation was not ideal…and she was 5 years older than me. Yes, I liked her so much I lied about my age (long story). Buuuuutttt…. after 27 years of being “significant other” to each other, and 25 years of marriage we’re an extremely happy couple. In fact, now that it seems we’re entering the Fall Season of our lives, we’re happier than ever.

    When the time comes…God will send you to the right man. But he might be as perfect as you’d like him to be. Perhaps, your imperfections will be complementarian, and together, you will become a better version of yourselves.

    Love your blog and support. God bless!!

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  36. Your writing is as honest, forthright, and brave as ever. I’m feeling pangs in my heart for you. It sounds like an emotionally trying and gut-wrenching weekend. I can imagine the conversation that you had with your mom, because I’ve had similar conversations with friends, family members, colleagues, my spiritual director, and my therapist. The topic wasn’t love, but it was, “When is God going to show me what to do with my life?! What if I’m missing the message? What if he asks me to do something that is really hard and painful? How long am I going to have to wait? When is my life going to mean something???!!!” Discernment. Grrrrrr.

    When I am feeling frustrated, anxious, impatient, conflicted, and confused, a few things help. The words of St Francis de Sales are always a comfort. He has so many wonderful things to say about discernment, patience, and maintaining inner peace. The Holy Spirit works best when our spirits are at peace. Right… like you, I’m always in motion. Meditative prayer is my other great comfort. The rosary, the chaplet of divine mercy, and simple adoration in front of the blessed sacrament always help me to quiet the noise and allow me to open my ears and my heart to God’s gentle whisper. Nonetheless, it’s still a work in progress.

    Keeping you in my prayers! Xoxo

    Reply

    • Hey Lulu, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. You’re so right — discerning is so stinkin hard! But you have some really terrific suggestions. I agree, adoration is really a special time where the Lord is present. And I’ll have to look of St. Francis de Sales. I am not familiar with his words. But if they get the Lulu stamp of approval, you KNOW i’ll be checking it out 🙂 🙂 thank you so much for being such a great friend, Lulu! Sending big big hugs! and thanks for the prayers too. You’re in mine as well! happy thursday! hugs and love xox

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  37. I used to teach business classes. Some are about process. I started every week by telling everyone to “…check your brains at the door. No thinking allowed in this class. Let the process do the thinking for you. If you think, you fail.”

    A bit like faith, isn’t it? Let the human engine that God created do it’s thing. Have faith that everything will be as He intended. Don’t think. Just let His plans unfold. Have the faith to keep moving through the process. That’s life. Be open to the life God returned to you after so much hurt. Don’t worry over being ready. God knows when you are better than you ever will.

    Let God do the thinking. Just keep your hands inside the stroller as He pushes you along. He’ll give you the candy when He knows it’s time.

    And that’s about enough analogies for one evening. 🙂

    Reply

    • Hi Jeffrey! oh wow, YES that IS like faith! my goodness. I think that is such great advice: just let His plans unfold. Now if I could only be patient….:) haha and what a great image:) I love the analogies! Keep em coming!! I’m always a big fan of a good pun or analogy 🙂 have a great night, friend! thanks as always for knowing just what to say 🙂

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  38. I enjoyed reading your post and definitely feel guilty for not reading more of them.

    The question of listening God’s voice is well treated in a book by Blackaby ( Henry and Richard Blackaby. 2002. Hearing God’s Voice. Nashville: Broadman and Holman Publishers.) which I thought that I had already reviewed, but apparently not on my blog. I did review one of his more recent books (http://wp.me/p3Xeut-LC) on the seasons of life.

    Generally, the advice given for hearing God voice is to slow down, turn off all electronic devices, and pray. My best prayer time is while I am swimming laps because I am free of interruptions and am fully present. A centering prayer (for me, Psalm 8) is also helpful in getting other voices out of my head. Journeying is also helpful in emptying and centering.

    If I catch the drift in your writing, your concern is generally focused on vocation and relationships. While, years of patience and preparation may be required, the answer that God often gives may also be right in front of you. What are your passions? What are your gifts? God gave you those things for a reason.

    Keep searching!

    Stephen.

    Reply

    • Hi Stephen! Thank you so much for this reflection! What great advice: slow down. Easier said than done, but I think I definitely need to work on that and make it a priority. Perhaps that means waking up 30 minutes earlier. And thanks for that – I’ll have to check out Psalm 8. Thanks for giving me some great things to think about! sending hugs and love xox

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  40. God is totally directing you. Where and to which guy? I do not know. I know God did much the same for me. He kept you from falling and helped you rise from the darkness. He helps us. He doesn’t do things for us, as some think. He puts things out there for us to make choices. He helped you find your inner and outer beauty again, and now he’s directing your toward a love but it may not be all that clear right now. But don’t give up hope. Will it be one of these guys? I don’t know. Just know that you are beautiful and shouldn’t settle for anything that doesn’t feel right. What is right will come.

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  41. I highly recommend checking out musician Marie Miller’s single, “6’2″… I think it will resonate with you (on my smartphone it pulls up as 6-2). It’s about her prayers for “Mr. Right,” and how she starts with a specific list, and by the end of the song, she is just willing to allow His plan to be put into play. 😃

    Also, I haven’t had much time for Adoration in the past year or so, but when I am struggling to hear Him, and when I am missing His voice, I make time for Adoration. I needed Him this weekend, and sought solace in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, and it really was what my soul needed. Take time for Him at the altar, and being in NYC, I know you should have several Perpetual Adoration chapels in the city!!

    Reply

    • Hi friend! Thank you so much for this encouragement. I’ll definitely give it a listen! I love being inspired by music. so powerful. Oh yes, there are definitely many perpetual adoration chapels to chose from! i agree, nothing like spending time with Jesus. thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

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  42. Loved this post. I am a lot younger than you, but I have struggled a lot with the fear of what will happen with my own love life. I don’t mean to sound eager for something to happen, I just mean that I let my anxiety get the best of me too often about this subject. I find myself wondering if he, the one God made for me, is already a part of my past. Did I let him slip away when I was careless and distrustful in God? Did I travel down the wrong path and leave the man of my dreams on the other? I ask myself these questions too often and I want to thank you for this post. This past weekend must have been something crazy – but it reminded me to just chill about this whole love life thing. Thanks a bunch and I hope you have a more restful weekend coming soon 😉

    Reply

    • Hi Elizabeth! Thank you so much for this encouraging note. Yeah, it is so hard to have patience and trust that He will not leave us high and dry. I definitely have to work on that. I think the best thing I ever heard was that it is impossible to miss “him” because God already has “him” picked out. So i guess we’ve just gotta sit back and let Him do His thing! thanks for reading and for this great perspective! hugs and love xox

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  44. Hello dear sister! It’s deanna. You may just want to bop me on the head for this suggestion, then again, it might end up being what you’ve truly been hoping for… Ready? I thought not! Ok. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths focusing on exhaling, and then consider this: how about relinquishing writing these (beautiful!) blogs for a while and spend the time ordinarily spent thinking about them and writing them (and responding to all our comments 😊) with the Lover of your soul instead. 💞 ❤️

    Reply

    • Hi Deanna! this is some great advice. truly. no bopping here:) hehe but you’re right. i think that I need to make some quiet time more of a priority in my life. And it’s funny because when I’m writing on here, I really do feel like it is a spiritual activity for me, but you’re right I need to just sit with God. Quietly. Purposefully. Maybe that’s waking up an hour earlier or putting down the phone more throughout the day. But you’ve given something big to think about. thank you for that! hugs and love xox

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  46. You have written another insightful post as usual 🙂 I always have a hunch that no matter what one wants at a current moment, God will grant them something better in the future. I can not say for sure If this is fact, but based on what we experience in our own lifetimes, I always have a hunch that that superior moment God will grant us will happen sometime 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Reply

    • Hi there John! Thank you so much! I agree – God delights in giving the best to His children. I will trust that and just learn to be patient in the meantime. Thanks for reading and for your encouragement! hugs and love xox

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  47. Way to go! Taking the time to listen and really see the signs as to who is good for you and who isn’t is amazing. There will be someone out there, but there is always the opportunity to get in touch with yourself!

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  49. Hey!
    There is no easy answer on how to be still especially in this day and age.
    There are simply too many distractions!
    But we need God’s voice and He won’t accept, “there are too many distractions”. By saying that we have decided who is more important.

    So simply said but the hardest thing to put into action, cut down on all those other things to make time to listen. Do all those “things” control you or do you have control?
    The best way to answer that question is by asking yourself if you can go even a week without those things. If the answer is no, then they control you.

    If we truly want to seek His voice and spend more time with Him we must do the hard things, we must make the sacrifice.
    Our love for God is measured by what we are willing to surrender.
    I am talking to you but I am also talking to myself cause I am going throught the same thing and these are the things I was shown.

    I hope that answers your question.

    Bless you friend….

    Rolain

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  50. Hi. Really loved the way you write. finding humor in our low times, is what all need. I say, just go with the flow while God is guiding you. Love comes when you are not “consciously” looking too much into it. Let yourself loose, and love will find you 🙂

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  51. I’m on a new journey in my life – things happened I didn’t understand but now I reflect back I can see they were guiding me to a path. Although the journey involves some pain, I’m going with the flow as I do believe I am being guided.. Thanks for sharing your journey x

    Reply

    • I’d like to make a small comment here, for a bit of male perspective: do you all know that there are some really good guys out there just waiting for a good girl? Someone with their head on straight, who loves the Lord say more than Facebook? Take heart dear ladies. There are still gentlemen left out here. We’re just hard to find. We don’t advertise, cause well, we’ve all been hurt. Thats just universal. Peace and love and yes dear God, Hope. Much love

      Reply

      • Thanks for that male perspective – I totally agree – I’ve got an amazing man in my life – we’ve been together since I was 15- over 40+ years since we first met – I feel blessed to have found one of the good guys and your right – there are lots more out there… For me my new journey relates to work.. I’m very lucky in love! Much love back xxx

  52. hmmm…I guess I need to pay closer attention to what God is saying, because I’m completely confused about this one guy in my life and don’t know if I should just let it go or was he put in my life cuz he’s the one..

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  54. Just relax and take a deep breath. God wants us to take a step back and just be with him. I had to wait until I was in my early thirties before I met the man God wanted me to meet. But I had to go through a lot of dejunking before that could happen. We have been married for 23 years now and the wait was worth it. Big hug.

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      • I so relate to this post with the multiple not really right for me guys! After I fully recovered from my 10 hour a day OCD rituals and was actually able to have a relationship I started dating and then intensified this with internet dating about 8 weeks ago. I have had so many messages and likes from men and I really thought I would meet Mr Right very quickly. This desire is sharpened by the fact that I am 46 and it is last chance saloon to have a child. Not that I am even sure a child is right for me that is another message I need to get from somewhere. But not one man that I’ve met online have I fancied or has been suitable which has really disillusioned me. As I’ve said many times I’m having a spiritual crisis and don’t know whether I believe in God anymore. But I need a message on this child issue pretty soon. Maybe meditation is the answer to receive these messages.

      • Hi friend. Thank you so much for sharing this. I just want to give you a big hug. Being unsure about something so important and waiting for an answer is always so so difficult. I just want to encourage you that God’s timing is always perfect. We may not understand it, but perhaps further formation needs to take place before he makes it come to fruition. That’s what I’m trying to work on. Thanks for reading. Hang in there my friend. Xox

  55. I love this post. The struggle is truly real when it comes to listening to God and sometimes I feel like I am hearing him wrong or I am only hearing what I want to hear. That is until I was praying a few months ago and I clearly heard God tell me to break up with my boyfriend. I thought that I something was wrong with me because I had peace with the breakup. However, I know that it was God because I have not had the desire to go back. With that being said, sometimes we have to breathe and place ourselves in a silent place and just listen. And then sometimes God will send us a big flashing billboard. There is no perfect way to hear from God, you just have to be in a place to have an open heart to what he says. And usually your first thought of the situation is correct 😉

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    • Hi Whitany! Thank you so much for this encouragement. Listening and trusting and being patient is SO difficult. I’m so glad you’ve heard His voice! Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

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  56. Hey, m’darlin’! I really enjoy reading your journey and your faithfulness and persistence in looking to our amazing God for direction, strength & hope. Thanks for sharing so candidly. Also love your sense of humor as, although I’ve lived in Southern Europe for more than half of my life, I’m still a Jersey-born girl from just across the Hudson.

    Reply

    • Hi Maureen! Thank you so much for this encouraging note:) you’re so right- God IS amazing. And I just have to trust His divine timing and plan. Yay for the NYC boroughs! ☺️☺️ thanks again for the pep talk! Hugs and love xox

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  57. Hey BBB, I wasn’t going to give any advice, but since you asked… I make sure I stop. I don’t have a specific time for stopping and I don’t do it every day, but when I become aware of not really hearing God in my life I stop. Stopping for me usually takes one of two forms: adoration, reading Scripture, or both. (I guess technically that’s three). When I do this, I don’t think about my issues, petitions, etc. I simply let myself be with Him and be open to whatever He gives me during that time. This is actually how I heard my calling to married life (happily married for almost nine years now). I was thinking a lot about the vocation question. The answer came crashing down on me when I wasn’t asking God about it or even thinking about it. I was just in prayer at adoration and it suddenly came to me like a big huge pile of bricks. Anywho, on another note, I read “What I learned from losing my hair” to my students. It was well received. Thank you for all your words, your honesty, and everything you do on this blog.

    Reply

    • Hi friend! Thank you so much for be advice. All three of those are such terrific ideas. Because you’re right-we have to stop and intentionally seek him and just be with him. Oh my gosh thank you for sharing my post with your students! I am truly honored. It really means a lot. Thanks again for everything! You’ve given me a lot to think about. sending hugs and love xox

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  58. That was from the movie “Say Anything” not ” The Breakfast Club” 🙂 sorry I had to point that out.

    I don’t think God has anyone picked out for us, that goes against free will, and how boring would that be? Love or falling in love for that matter is a adventure. Although Hollywood has turned it into something else. Image has a lot to do with “love” now-a-days, I was one of those people until a very big turning point in my life. I threw it all out the window and I could never be more happy, more in love. I know a lot of people believe that God has a master plan for everything, but that already happened when sin was defeated on the cross, we are free now. Just go with what you feel is right. You will get hurt or maybe you won’t, life is too short to be scared to try. That is the beautiful thing about both love and heart break, you learn from both. As always awesome blog.

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  59. “Be still and know that I am God.”
    It is on the stillness and the quiet that we settle our mind and leave it open to Him to speak to us. With all the noise we surround ourselves with, we often forget to give Him undivided time. Thank you for your posts. They are always uplifting!

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    • Hi Bethany! Thank you for this great reflection. You’re right – He speaks in stillness. I need to definitely work on that. Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  60. Thank you for having the courage to bare your heart and soul, sweet one.

    I believe our Creator always gives us signs, And that it’s up to us to notice them, to make the decisions. Trusting our gut instincts and following our hearts while listening to our minds is key. For our beloved Creator has indeed put a spark of Divinity within each and every one of us, hidden behind our thoughts and within our hearts.

    Having struggled a bit with anorexia and being underweight most of my adult life and also having experienced heart break on many occasions I know that waiting to find the one can be so frustrating.

    My boyfriend found me in FB first – we were told about each other by a mutual acquaintance but waited a whole year before friending each other! And even though we aren’t engaged yet, we do plan on being together for the rest of our lives. Our love is deep and very very real.

    Hang in there kiddo, this is just a phase and in retrospect will seem like only a heartbeat in the grand scheme of things. Blessings and thanks for following my blog! Your post is quite excellent and your site amazing.

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  64. God works in weird ways for sure. My husband wanted to date me when were teenagers and I refused due to his wild ways. Fast forward to when I was 19 we both were engaged and he drunkenly told me we would get married one day that we were soul mates. I laughed. Then a year later we both had recently ended our engagements I moved back to our hometown and ran into him at a party. 6 years later we are married with three kids! Be patient, love will come when it’s least excepted.

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  65. Excellent. There’s something to learning to listen and see. Part of the obvious (see what I did there) nature to this is relaxing and believing he speaks all the time. Thanks, again.

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    • Thank you so much for this encouragement Jeff. You’re so right – He really is speaking to us all the time. we just have to be on the lookout for it. thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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  66. May I share a sweet little discipline for hearing Gods voice. Find your happy place. a place that you can go both physically and imaginatively. It must be a quiet, private, and sacred space. When you want to talk to God, go there, either physically or imaginatively, and wait. And ask Goid lots of questions. You would be astonished at all the answers you will get once you start asking all the right questions. Perhaps the best question is , Lord what should i be asking right now. And above all things remember that..” the gifts of God are exceedingly precious and are not to be despised.

    Reply

    • Hi Jack, this is some great advice. A happy place is so very important. especially a quiet happy place to just be with God. And what a great question to ask: what should i be asking right now…very profound! thanks again for stopping by and for this great encouragement. hugs and love xox

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  67. Thankfully, you live in the greatest cultural city on earth. If you expand your comfort zone a little, there may be no limit to your choices.
    I do not mean lower your standards….I mean expand your search area, as you suggested. Good people always pop up in the strangest places.

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    • Hi friend! This is some really great advice. You’re right. I live in the cultural center of the world. I’ve just gotta try new things and be open to those who may be there too! Thanks for reading. Hugs and love xox

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  68. I can’t remember where I got this saying from, but this post made me think of it – “Sometimes God doesn’t give you what you think you want, not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve better.”

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  69. Everything you’re going through is setting you up for God’s big plan. All of the heartache, pain, headaches, and worry. Trust me. Your plan may not become clear for another few years, but when it does, you’re going to be glad you’ve had these tribulations.

    Hang in there, and keep your eyes and heart open. 🙂

    Reply

    • Hey there Joy! Thanks for the encouragement. I believe you’re right. God’s plan and timing is perfect. I just have to be patient. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

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  70. Honestly, this post is exactly what I needed to read today. A day after a huge blow, I keep seeing posts and verses that relate exactly to my situation. So I say, thank you. Btw, I didn’t know you live in NYC — so do I! All the best, S

    Reply

    • Hi friend! I’m so glad it resonated with you. I’m sorry that you’re going through a tough period, but it will get better! And yay NYC! Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

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  71. I admire your spiritual discernment. How lovely and utterly important that you are checking in with your Heavenly Father regarding a potential partner in your life. It’s hard to hear “no” from God, I have been there too. But in the long run, I never regretted it, not once. Trying to ignore His will in my life only ever led to pain and heartache. His “yes” will be well worth the wait. I promise!

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    • Thank you so much Friend! I really appreciate the encouragement. You’re right – accepting no is hard, but I just have to trust in His ultimate plan. Thanks again! Hugs and love xox

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  72. Me too “feeling restless about what I’m supposed to do with my life, my career, my love life, everything” and I’m married to a wonderful man ♡

    I love that you’re being transparent about your wonderous future outlook. You SHOULD be even more picky than you are. You know why? You’re worth it. Trust God, His plan and time is always better than ours.

    Have you read The Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh? It was incredible and timely for me. It was one of the last books I read before I got married.

    I love that you used the word gumption! ♡

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    • Thank you so much for this encouragement. I actually haven’t read it but I’ll definitely check it out thanks for passing it along! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love my friend xox

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  74. Two thoughts.
    1. Maybe it’s ok to be single. Being in a relationship, or married, is not always great. Your relationship with God is much

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    • …hit reply too early
      Your relationship with God is much more important than a relationship with a guy.
      2. If you do find the right guy, who ticks all the boxes, make sure his spiritual walk is compatible with yours.

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      • Ha no worries! You’re right – my relationship with God should always be first and foremost. Thanks again for giving me something to think about! Hugs and love xox

  75. I can completely understand the recognition of needing to stop and listen to God and not always knowing how. Through our infertility there were so many times that I was begging God to tell me what to do and I’m sure He was answering way sooner than I heard Him. I just didn’t know what to listen for. Unfortunately I don’t think there is a magic formula or way to hear God. I think the more time you spend reading the bible, praying, worshipping will help His voice become more clear.

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    • Hi Danielle! This is a great perspective. You’re right, the more time we spend in His word, the better we will be able to what His voice. Thanks for reading! Hugs and Love xoxo

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  76. Your post reminds me about how Abraham’s servant asked God for a sign to help him choose/find a wife for Isaac in Genesis chapter 24. God helped him find Rebekah for Isaac. Sometimes we forget that we can and should pray about everything. Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

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  77. I liked your recount about the 3 guys that have come into the scene. When you pray, God answers in 3 ways. No, not right for you(even though you feel it’s right) Not yet, because there is something else to be learned before it can work or Yes!!! It’s so obvious that it’s staring at you in the face. If you’re NOT hearing from God it’s because it’s a test, to see which way you will go.
    May God master all your decisions.

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    • Hi there! Thank you so much for this encouragement. You’re so right. God will make His will known. I just have to truly search and listen for His prompting. Thanks for this insight. Hugs and Love xox

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  78. Love using of Buddy Christ. I know where you are coming from. Hopefully you don’t give in to some new guy and he has 3 women that have been pursuing him and he is still involved. However, if you want to see an ironically makes fun of itself movie, go get Deadpool. You will laugh your butt off at the many references and quick changes. I would say I have given out 10 good copies just in the last week. But then again if you act you may not want to watch a movie, the same way as I do many things and horses and once in a blue moon play lotto or numbers and never for more than 20 and more like 10. I typically pic mine and my mother’s birthdays in straight and box orders and the agent said her birthdate, which we are only off by 1 digit and I do something similar with win 4. I decided to be cheap as I have very little coming up. What happens? You guessed it, mom’s birthday straight and the win 4 to boot. This is a 5-7k night on the numbers alone and I am now looking for my funny go to sleep movie as I thought do not bother and I only spent 4 bucks, I would never have looked at the results, UGH.

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  79. Such a good description of why it’s so hard to hear God’s answers to our prayers in this day and age! It’s so hard to simply be still and quiet long enough to hear His whispers to us. Good luck in your quest to find love, patience and openness are key.

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  80. I guess it is really hard in this super-fast world to find the time to listen to God properly. I found that I just had to get rid of actions that took up my time to no end, and that gave me the time to do some listening 🙂
    Prioritising the important things gives us all the time we need to pursue our relationship with God – and also with other people, too – and I guess it doesn’t matter what age we all are, as we all just want to be loved for ourselves 🙂
    The biggest trick, I guess, is learning to love ourselves enough to accept that God’s been doing that all along 🙂
    I think it’s wonderful that you have learned to reust God enough to start listening to His messages 🙂

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    • Hi Katy! I tHink you’re right. Listening is so hard. But it is so important. And yes, we need to be loved for ourselves. Lots of great stuff to think about here. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

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  81. What a lovely, inspiring post! 🙂 It’s hard to be patient sometimes, especially in the face of not knowing, but it’s better to listen to the messages than to invest our hearts into someone and then end up disappointed and hurt.
    I find that taking time to listen and develop my relationship with God does wonders for my self-esteem and reminds me that I am worthy of a good man and that I shouldn’t settle just to escape loneliness. 🙂

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  82. Hi BBB – wonderful words. I am reminded of Luke 10:38-42, the story of Martha and Mary. I spent many years not stopping to listen and then after some difficulties and losing a friend to suicide I turned to God exasperated and he taught me it was time to live in the present each day. In short summary, if getting my morning coffee can be such a high priority in my life then I sure as heck can spend the first few cups with the Lord so I share that time with God everyday and post on my blog to share what we talk about. It doesn’t start out easy and I had to commit to it and put other things/activities aside but now I look forward to my morning coffee with God. You said the perfect words in your last picture “Be Still & Know…” Peace be with you! I really enjoy reading your perspective and faith.

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    • Hi friend, thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry that you lost your friend. That is so tragic. I think you are really onto something about Mary/Martha. We need to just be with Him. I think its really great that you’ve made spending time in the morning with God a priority. He is good. Sending hugs and love xox

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  84. Beebs, man does not really live on instinct much, anymore. I brought this up with a friend, and he made an interesting comment. He said something to the effect that people believe their intelligence precludes the need for instinct. He made comment to the fact of a judge in our community who is a high-standing religious official also in the community, that her wife offers no support of her own to the religion. She has ceased to allow herself to “evolve.” Others might say progress or improve, but in this case I do especially like the work “evolve.” Instinct helps us to evolve. I like your posts. They show that you learn from day-to-day occasions in your life, evidence of evolution within yourself. I feel that if I were a serpent and my life and that of my species were threatened, that I would launch myself and inject my venom into my enemy. Even if I died in the attempt, my species would be better off. My race would be better able to survive. I don’t believe any threat should be left alone, but dealt with. Psychiatrists and psychologists would over and over try to convince us patients in the hospital that if there is a situation that we can do nothing about, to forget about. Worry about things we can’t fix will not solve anything. I believe they borrowed these philosophies from Freud, who called religion itself an illusion but somehow within the instinct of humanity. People want to make everything cognitive, but it’s not. Instinct teaches so much more than cognitive abilities. Instinct developed leads the way in one’s life to progress and evolution.

    It’s painful to read a blog about boy troubles. I don’t really want to offer advice. I don’t like to receive it myself except from certain people. I’ll just say, good luck. May you venture in fields full of flowers and find honey where you least expect it.

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  85. I feel like while writing this, you may have almost figured out which direction you’re going to go…

    Thank you for liking my post [http://wp.me/p268u8-RU].

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  86. God does speak in multiple ways…He can use anyone or anything to speak to us. The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands…(Ps19:1) but most often hearing His word and reading His word. (Romans 10:17) I just wrote about how He spoke to me the other day in a billboard! But yes, you do need to be quiet before Him to really hear Him. Meditate on a scripture in line with what you’re praying about…(Proverbs 31) spend time praising God for who He is…and thanking Him for what He’s done in your life…He will show you. Here’s my prayer for you…Thank You Lord for BBB and her beautiful heart. Her love for you shows. Increase her desire for closeness with You and remind her of Psalm 37:4 take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
    I pray that your eyes will be opened to see all He wants you to see and your ears will be opened to hear all He wants you to hear and your heart will be receptive to all the blessings He has for you in the name of Jesus! Amen.🙏😊

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    • Hi friend, thank you for this wonderful reflection! Wow a billboard! That’s so awesome. Those are some wonderful suggestions. And thank you for the beautiful prayer. It means so so much. God is good. Hugs and love xox

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  88. The first way God speaks to a person is when that person is not aware of God and unsaved or out of Gods grace and the bible says they are blind and can not see because they were born blind due to sin and because the devil works to keep them from seeing or hearing and especially from believing in jesus and His Father God.

    2Co 4:3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:
    2Co 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.
    2Co 4:5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake.
    2Co 4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

    So God sends people who do hear him and have the Spirit of God inside of them so people must listen to them awhile so they can wake up to God.

    Act 5:29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
    Act 5:30 The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree.
    Act 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.
    Act 5:32 And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him.

    They must hear others until they are understanding the written word of God for themselves and then they stay where they feel God is trying to reaxch out to them. God speaks to us thru his word and by His Spirit. That we ask him to send the Holy Spirit to help us hear the word of God is the beginning of Christian life and the Holy Spirit begins to teach us about Jesus Christ.

    Heb 1:1 God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets,
    Heb 1:2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;
    Heb 1:3 Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;
    Psa 119:98 Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me.
    Psa 119:99 I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.
    Psa 119:100 I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts.
    Psa 119:101 I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.
    Psa 119:102 I have not departed from thy judgments: for thou hast taught me.
    Psa 119:103 How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
    Psa 119:104 Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.
    Psa 119:105 NUN. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
    Psa 119:106 I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgments.
    Psa 119:107 I am afflicted very much: quicken me, O LORD, according unto thy word.

    if we do not understand that and feel dead to Gods word and Gods voice then we need God to give us the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus.

    Rev 22:16 I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.
    Rev 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
    Rev 22:18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:
    Rev 22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
    Rev 22:20 He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
    Rev 22:21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

    Rev 2:7 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.

    Heb 10:15 Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before,
    Heb 10:16 This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;
    Heb 10:17 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
    Heb 10:18 Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.
    Heb 10:19 Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,
    Heb 10:20 By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh;
    Heb 10:21 And having an high priest over the house of God;
    Heb 10:22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
    Heb 10:23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

    it is this great need for the Holy Ghost–thats right–He is called a ghost but a Holy Ghost–who begins very quietly trying to show us rthe way of salvation thru Jesus Christ. The Spirit uses other people who know Him to speak to us and help us along until we are saved and also we ask fro this same Spirit to help and guide us. We are simply to ask for the Holy Spirit.

    Jn 5:7 For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.
    1Jn 5:8 And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.
    1Jn 5:9 If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which he hath testified of his Son.
    1Jn 5:10 He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son.
    1Jn 5:11 And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.
    1Jn 5:12 He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.
    1Jn 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
    the word of God says ask and you shall recieve. here it is in a nutshell written in scripture. The Holy Ghost is a Spirit–the Spirit of od and he comforts us –makes us feel loved of God and not afraid. we do feel afraid at times and depressed but then we seek him and He comforts our hearts.

    Joh 14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
    Joh 14:14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
    Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
    Joh 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
    Joh 14:17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
    Joh 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
    Joh 14:19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.
    Joh 14:20 At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.
    Joh 14:21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

    the instructions are clear–all these things we begin recieving first because we ask for them in Jesus name. We simply bein prayin and expecting God will answer. And if we are weak or frustrated with askin then we need to get around other believers who help with this. It is a commanment–a rule–and it can not be broken–that a new nbeliever must get with other believers and God will surely begin reaching out to them. All one has to do is be a part of gatherings when they happen.

    Mat 18:18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
    Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
    Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

    this is the beginning of Christian life and it is difficult. Those of us who lost a great deal to pursue this–do so because God is Himself a great reward. God and His Son are worth seeking for many reasons.

    1) To save us from an apocalypse that is prophesied to happen in our day
    2) great destruction is coming like the sunami in Indonesia–and it is written down in scripture plainly as signs that happen in our day and God has promised to save some from this.
    3) God is Himswelf our father thru jesus Christ and we all like sheep have wandered astray and do not know Him. He wants to restore that bond and be our supply but also to love us and care for us and manifest–thats right–reveal Himself–show Himself that he is awesome and alive and eternal and always there for all of us.
    4) the only alternative to not finding jesus Christ way of life is to find that we are doomed to terrible destinies–dark realities happen now and in the future to those who do not find God. hell is a real place and there are things one must know about that. we can see hell happening in people when they kill others or become perverted and homosexual or have multiple sensual encounters with many different people. All these things are why God burned a nation called Sodom and Gomorrah and we will live to see such terrible things happen to our own country. To not really find God is to just live with a not knowing until it happens and we are in destructive things like the sinners who lived in New Orleans.

    So, there is no good reason for not searching for God with all your heart and soul. You will find Him and live amongst those who have found Him and know their destiny is secure and safe and everything is OK.
    My prayer and my families prayer is that God would bless anyone who is reading this to seek after God and find Jesus Christ and find real salvation because there is much false religion out there–dead churches–Baptist, Methodist Pentecostal Catholic and no real experience of God. But God is still absolutely out there to be found as we can give witness to. We found Him and hold to Him very tightly to never loose our grip and hope that you also will find Him with us.
    After years of seeking God this way–God will eventually speak personally to people and we should all hear His voice. To be a Christian will mean we come into lonely palces as most people do not understand us except the two or three or more that God puts around us. That is why we need them so much. But the rest of the world will think you are strange and odd and they will begin to do subtle things against you until they sometimes outright mock you. We have been thru some really ugly things even from religious people. And there is a real live satan–an accuser who speaks to us subtely with negative thoughts that God is not there and we are alone or God does not love us or any number of depressing things. But these are what make for what we call “warfare” fighting against our own thoughts and praying for Gods help to defeat these intrusions and praying for God to defeat those who oppress us and persecute us–but praying for God to forgive them but to get them off our backs and let us live in this world without trying to drive us out. The world would already be destroyed if Christians were not living in it. These are very real things and we feel them and know the bitter striving of the dark world and those blind in it who just do not know why they hate us but that they do. And religious people who go to church but live in sin are the worst persecutors and will think people like us are a cult or bad or evil. All we want is to live in peace and seek God and know him for real but all they want is some get out of jail free card so they can live in sin and God is not going to give it to them but the devil will make them think they have such a card and fallen Christianity is sometimes the worst enemy of live and real faith in jesus Christ. I am going to stop here but I ask that anyone really reading this to read it several times and ask Gid to send His Spirit to help. I put much effort into it for your salvation and it may be just that–the very message that helps save you so please take it seriously and put effort into reading this and try to pray for the reality in it. Ask any of us you may know for prayer and help. You did not come into our way by accident. This was on purpose by God for your help. Nothing is coincidence with God and we love it that God would send us friends who may become part of our fellowship or who may get close to god and find fellowship somewhere else as there other little groups of Christians who are seeking God. However, God sent you here so please put your heart into listening to what i am writing here and know we love you. We hope you find what we have found. Until then, there is a promise that any new seeker should cleave to until it happens. this will be the last verse I send and my prayer for all who hear this.

    Rom 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
    Rom 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
    Rom 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
    Rom 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
    Rom 8:17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
    Rom 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
    Rom 8:19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.

    Our search for God has been like a long adventure like the pioneers and we have found many sorrows along the way but also many wonderful things and rewards and things only God who is great and good can give. They are like eggs at an easter egg hunt or hidden treasure or springs of water in a raging thirsty wilderness. God bless you in your new search for God and please bever give it up. it is the best thing you could have ever done with your life. Our love and prayers In Christ go with you! Amen!

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  89. How does one hear God’s gentle whisper? Psalm 46v10 – He says, “Be still, and know that I am God”. In the midst of all the things in life that call for our attention, in the midst of all the pressures and demands of life, we really are told to take time to be still and to know God. I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was busy with doing necessary things but Mary spent time quietly at Jesus feet and was praised for choosing to do that. We get to hear God’s voice when we spend time with Him conversing. It is easier to just pray and make a list of things to talk to God about but we also need to learn to spend the time to listen.
    On a practical note, take a weekend, get away for a spiritual retreat to spend time with our Father. Father-child time. I have done this and so assure you this really makes a difference. And, yes, there have been times when I really, really, really did not like what God’s answer was but even if it took me a long time, I eventually came to understand it and realise He is wiser than me.

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    • Hi friend, you’re so right — Mary and Martha is such a great example of this. And what a great idea about a retreat weekend! I think that is so wise. Because you’re right – God’s plan is so much better than ours. He is INFINITELY wiser that us little earthly beings. He is the author of life, so we need to trust in His goodness. Thanks for this great reminder! Hugs and love xox

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  91. My friend, it took me 49 plus years to find my love. For me, I wanted a man who loved the Lord. Because of this, we trust each other with what God has planned for us. When I reflect on my life, I can clearly see when I have listened to God and when I turned away. God’s promise to us; he will love us and be there for us when no else seems to be. Keep the faith. Blessing to you. 🙂

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    • Hi there! Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. Isn’t His promise so comforting? Thanks for the reminder. Sending so Much hugs and love xox

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  95. Hi BeautyBB, I’m a more recent follower of your posts. Love your style of blogging. I think in my own life, if I would’ve actually listened to God, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache in regards to relationships. I followed my heart instead of my Bible trained conscience in many decisions I’ve made. The first scripture that popped into mind after reading this blog was Matthew 6:25-31. Your Heavenly Father knows exactly what you need ever before you ask him, and will direct you in all aspects of your life, but asks that you ‘Keep on seeking first the Kingdom’. There is one thing that God doesn’t want, and that’s for you to be anxious. You have a great platform here to reach others, keep up the great work.

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    • Hi friend! Wow thank you so much for this encouragement. I love that scripture. Thanks for sharing it. You’re right. He definitely does not want us to be anxious. Thanks for reading! Sending hugs and love xo

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  96. Hi, I’m late to this discussion, but I still remember when I went through this years ago. I believe that God is always listening, but we can’t always hear Him because the world around us is so loud! I still remember when God told me that my husband was “the one” while we were on a date. It came as a strong, peaceful feeling that filled me with love, that we would marry and grow old together.

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  97. It takes a lot of faith to wait to see what these signs mean. Sometimes they’re clear as day, but in my experience, they’re usually murky and unfortunately don’t end up meaning what we want them to. Maybe it’s God’s way of giving us some hope, because even if it doesn’t end well, I’ve never not learned something about myself.

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    • Hi Jenna! Thanks for this encouragement. I think you’re right. God is always giving us winks of hope. We just have to be looking for them. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  98. This is very insightful. We do learn from others perspective more often than we acknowledge. And God is so awesome for sending us those pointers that if ignored produces avoidable griefs. Thanks for sharing your depth.

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  99. Dear B-cubed,
    So glad I stopped over here and read this.
    I agree – God DOES communicate with us, but He’s nearly always the still small voice that gets drowned out by the clamor of the mob/world/internet/facebook/whathaveyou.
    You asked for advice — well, here’s what I do. When I’m in the car alone, I don’t have the radio on. Sometimes when I go for a walk, I don’t put headphones on or in so nothing is going directly into my ear. I get up early in the morning, when everyone is my house is still asleep, and I sit with my Bible and my other devotion books, and sometimes I don’t even open them. I listen to the rain fall on the roof, or the crows cawing, or the cars driving by. And I whisper to God A LOT — “what is it? what is it You have for me?” and then I try to listen.
    Blessings to you in your journey.
    Sally

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    • Hi Sally! Thank you so much for the advice. These are some great suggestions. I think you’re right: intentionally creating quiet time is the key. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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