OK. It’s time we talk about virginity.
*Takes a shot of whisky.*
Scratch that.
It’s time we talk about my virginity.
*Takes another shot. Slams down the glass.*
Ok. Now I feel prepared to take on this topic.
Allow me to set the stage:
Saturday night. 4 am. The sun is just starting to rise and the sky is that dusty heather gray color. NYC looks just like they try to portray it in the movies – a sleeping giant with steep buildings, daring the sun to challenge its dominance.
And I’m bleary eyed, mascara stained, just sobbing. I’m in my pjs. The beautiful, sparkly dress and heels I wore that evening, crumpled in a pile on the floor — along with my dignity.
Pause. NO I did not “do it.” Although, reading that back, it kinda sounds like the beginning of a cheap romance novel. 😛
No. This scene was the result of a very real, very raw, very — vulnerable — conversation.
About…my V card.
Long story short, this guy I’ve been kind of, potentially interested in just straight up asked me about it.
Now, before you get ready to B-Slap him with an attitude, it wasn’t like that. Nothing rude. Nothing invasive.
It was actually very respectful. And he wasn’t trying to pressure me either.
The convo went a little something like this:
“BBB. I don’t understand. Every weekend a different guy tries to take you home, but you never do. Why is that?”
And it wasn’t like I just blurted out…OH, I’M A VIRGIN! With three thumbs up emojis.
No, I’ve known him for 4 years, and it was a long, drawn out convo in the back of the bar, just us. He may have just kissed me. A lady never tells.
But I told him: I’m saving myself for my husband.
And it like, boggled his mind. He was so intrigued by this. So interested. So riveted in the why behind it.
And, as it was last call, we continued the convo into a cab he had hailed to drop me off.
Again, don’t read this through the filter of a serial killer — he’s a gentleman and wanted to drop me off, as it was 4am and a gal in a short dress shouldn’t be walking alone.
But he was literally so fascinated. He couldn’t believe that I was still a virgin.
So you’ve never had sex?
No.
Don’t you want to?
Um, hellooo.
Our conversation jumped around, between what it means to be in a relationship, what we think about marriage, vulnerabilities, what we believe in. It was all really great…ish.
But the whole time I just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out.
It’s not like I’m ashamed of my decision to wait, I just felt really exposed. Like I was standing in front of a big crowd, unaware that my dress was tucked into my granny panties in the back. I felt stupid.
But he said, “I am just worried that your future husband isn’t going to appreciate what you’re doing. What if he’s not able to give you that back? What if you don’t get that?”
And this, is what sparked this post. This is what made me get up out of bed after crying myself to sleep and write about it.
I think there’s a grave misconception about relationships these days: what are you going to get out of it.
What’s in it for you? What are you going to get from the marriage or from the relationship?
And that‘s exactly where my decision to remain a virgin stems from.
Because relationships aren’t about what you’re going to get.
They’re about what you can give.
And that’s why I’m waiting. Because I love my future husband enough that I want to save my body and my whole self for him only. I want to give that to him. I’m not expecting to get anything. Would it be amazing if he was waiting too? Yes. But I don’t expect that. What I do expect is that God is preparing the heart of my future husband right this very minute, just as He’s preparing mine.
My parents have been married for 40+ years. And that’s one thing my mother always taught me: relationships are about giving. If you go into it thinking it’s the other way around, you’re going to end up disappointed and hurt.
So how did I end up with tear stains on my pillow after that open and honest communication in the cab?
Well, honestly, I just felt really alone. Not in an Enrique Iglesias Give Me Just One Night kind of way.
But alone in a misunderstood, foolish, exposed kind of way.
And in some ways I felt like a fraud.
Here’s the thing.
Let’s be honest…there’s a bit of a stereotype about virginity.
Thanks, Steve Carell.
But, I’m pretty confident. Or at least, I’m good at acting like I’m confident. I enjoy flirting, dancing, wearing the latest fashions.
Frankly, I don’t think I come off as this ankle-length-skirt-with-orthopedic-shoes-wearing-virgin-who-has-6-cats-at-home.
But after revealing my virginity, I felt like somebody stripped away that confident exterior, exposing this inner dweeb that shouldn’t be out socializing because of severe social anxiety and a highly spastic colon or something.
I feel like from now on, I’m forever going to be seen through the lens of “virgin.”
I felt dumb. I felt ugly. I felt alone.
And 6 hours later, I still do.
So.
I’m going to get up. Make myself a nice breakfast. And open up God’s love letter to me: the bible.
And I’m going to remind myself that I am not any of those things.
I am not alone: Jesus endured everything we’ve ever gone through, times 100. He was literally stripped down and exposed during the Passion.
I am not ugly. But I am a handcrafted work of art, created lovingly by the Father.
My virginity is not dumb. It is an act of love to my future husband. One that I should celebrate. Jesus gave Himself fully and completely to His love — us — on the Cross, so I can do the same for my future love.
Anywho. Thanks for listening.
Gonna go eat pancakes and put on my orthopedic shoes and head gear.
Byeee
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991 responses to “V Card”
John 3:16 tells us something important: “For God so loved the world, that He gave …” Now, I’d never want to minimize the message of that text, but I do want to point out those first few words. What you’re doing may be countercultural, may not be the social norm, may not be the expected … But it’s showing your heart to be like your Father’s. And that’s a gift. The only thing you’re exposing is the beauty of a loving heart.
Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means. Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox
I love the way you explained that verse, God blesd
You put that so beautifully!
BBB,
Wowzers.
You are doing the right thing. God loves you. Your future husband will love you and appreciate you and what you are giving him or he won’t be good enough for you. Never settle for less! Well done, sister in the Lord!
Thanks FiN. That means so much. I really appreciate your kind and hopeful words. Hugs and love xox
You show strength and courage.Thank you for your honesty.
Hi Mary. Thank you for this. It really means a lot. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
Back at you, Honey. Your posts are informative and fun to read.
❤️❤️❤️thanks again
By posting this you have put yourself out there. So I am going to say this. I am proud of you AND you should be proud. I have that stupid Steve Carrell movie and my lack of faith at the time to blame for why I rushed in, and I do not have that gift to give. It is precious, sacred and honorable and nothing to be ashamed of. I would give anything to get mine back. It’s a wonderful thing. And sex that doesn’t have that true love and devotion that is just thrown around because is hollow. And it never truly leads to good things. It’s done me more harm than it has good, which is why, at 31 years old, I decided that I would no longer have sex until I found THE ONE and walked her down that aisle. I lament over the gift I don’t have to give and I want to be the first to say that it is something that is not a source of shame. My shame is that I didn’t have the strength you have. God bless you and Godspeed.
Hi friend. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so touched by your words. I think it’s really awesome that you’re doing that. That’s the beautiful thing about love-is that it heals and the fact that you’ve made that decision now is so beautiful and something your future wife will think is amazing and strong. I appreciate you friend. Thanks for sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox
You are not alone. I love the image of just caring about what you’re preparing to give your husband and not worrying about the rest, that is beautifully STRONG. I waited. THe shocked look on the other couples in our pre-marital counselling session when we said there was nearly 75 years of celibacy between me and Hubs (of 17 1/2 years)… well, that tells it all. I can’t even imagine trying to keep this decision in this decade. Like I said, your perspective and perseverance shows strength. Blessings.
Hi there Hope. Thank you so much for this. Wow what an inspiring story! Your name is right-what HOPE! 🙂 so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
Wow, that’s an awesome decision and gutsy post. Very gutsy – because it sets you apart from the crowd. It’s counter culture, against the grain. Some might even say weird. My friends and I have embraced the “weird” tag as well….mainly because publicly announcing and standing by faith in Christ is in itself weird in today’s society. So we looked up the definition – it says something along the lines of “otherworldly” or “of the supernatural”. Stick to your guns. Stay weird. All the way.
Hi John! My goodness, thank you for this! I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. You’re right…a littttttttle bit weird! haha but I’ll take it! Stay weird!! hugs and love xox
Yay! Thank you for talking about this subject! I’ve made the same decision as you and understand what you mean when ppl open up the subject… I think the biggest lie out there is that your or I are the only ones who are still virgins. I have quite many friends in their twenties and thirties who are still virgins and intend to honor God in this way until they get married. Above all else is something I want to honor God with since He gave everything for me – His Son Jesus Christ. keep on persevering my dear sister. You are not alone and I believe God has something special prepared for you!
Hi Adina! Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s so wonderful to know I am not alone. Amen to that – He gave everything. Thanks for stopping by! hugs xox
I applaud you. It’s a hard thing to do these days…wait…. I gave mine up in my early twenties. I wonder sometimes if my life might have been different, had I made different choices… well, of course it would have….but would it have been better?
What I do think is that maybe ( likely ) the quality of man I was surrounding myself with would have been better…. might have resulted in the kind of relationship/marriage that I wish for…. and sometimes ( often ) those thoughts make me sad.
I don’t know. And for me, it’s far too late. That cats long out of the bag. And this wasn’t about me anyway…. so forgive my ramble.
Always stay true to you and God’s love for you and you’ll never go wrong. PS. You look amazing.
xo
Hi Cinn, thank you for sharing this. It’s so easy to look back and wonder those things, but I think at the end of the day we just have to trust that God’s got us. Because you’re right – He loves us so so much. I love your spirit. So beautiful:) hugs and love xox
Thank you ❤️ you are a kind person
❤️❤️❤️
I had the same views as you, not having sex before marriage, until I met a guy who I was head over heels in love with… I’m more ashamed of having had sex before marriage than I was to tell people I was 20 and still a virgin. This post has helped me in a real way, so thank you.
Hi Dani, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad it helped you. That brings my heart so much joy. Sending you such a big hug right now. You are precious 🙂 Truly – not in a weird like, “oh you’re precioussss” but like, -you- actually are precious 🙂 Hugs to you friend xox
I did a lot of other things with guys I was in love with (and some I never really was), but I didn’t go all the way. Close and tried, but it didn’t work so I wonder if I could still have been considered a virgin? I’d say so but looking back I see that I really shouldn’t have been doing half that stuff either…anyway, my husband was glad I waited. I guess I just replied here to say that I too did things when in love I shouldn’t have.
Hi friend, thank you for sharing this. You have a beautiful heart and it definitely shines through. Sending such a big hug.
there was a phrase that went round when I was at school which was “half virgin” which meant that you’d been sexually active but not actually intercourse… It’s such an ambiguous topic, what clarifies as losing your virginity and what doesn’t, and so I think it comes down to your own person view. the first time I had “sex”, we stopped halfway through because I wasn’t comfortable, I would have said I was still a virgin but my boyfriend at the time said I wasn’t. so like I say, I think it comes down to how you view it yourself.
Mine have all said I was, even the high school one who I “tried” to (it didn’t physically “work”, which was probably God’s way of reminding me). We loved each other so it felt right, but it’s not. I say I was a virgin too because that (intercourse) was one thing that was really important to me not to give.
Yeah I definitely wouldn’t put it past Him! He works in mysterious ways – and sometime we can’t see it being Him until we have the perspective of time. ❤️
Yeah, it’s a murky pool for sure. Add to this the whole Clinton/Lewinsky scandal … Muddy waters indeed. Thanks for sharing this. ❤️❤️❤️
Keep it up! I wish I had waited, and I’m a guy. Once you give it up, you can’t take it back. Like putting the toothpaste back in the tube.
Oh, and I love what you said about relationships being about giving not getting. I tend to forget that.
Thanks Octavian! I really appreciate your encouragement. Haha oh my gosh you’re killin me with that toothpaste comment!! haha Literally laughing out loud. Thanks for that. hugs and love xox
I remember writing about virginity and modesty on my blog a while back.
The V Card issue isn’t just important, it’s huge. I wish I’d read the bible when I was much younger bc God lovingly tells us in it to “wait” (for very good reasons).
I promised my mom before she died I would wait until marriage. After she died, when I was a teen, life took some ugly/unexpected turns. I am about to sit back down and write it out to help other’s.
Virginity is a both a gift and a blessing…I’m glad you are standing tall and strong!
Blessings!
Hi Kensel! Thank you so much for this encouraging comment. I’m so sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. Sending you a big hug. Yes, writing is such a wonderful tool to process and heal. I look forward to reading your words. hugs and love to you friend xox
I have been thinking about taking up this issue on my blog and I think you just might have written the little push I needed from the Lord.
This is so important – your virginity is the single most beautiful thing you can give to the one you will eventually spend your life with. Resisting the temptation shows strength! – And loving God before loving others… well, you have the heart for Christ and the Father will reward you with the one and only man of your dreams.
Wonderful post and I love love love your honesty!
Hi Lenei! Thank you so much! Yes, I hope you do write about it! I’d love to read your words! And seriously, I really appreciate your encouragement. It means more than you know. hugs and love xox
You are so not alone.
I believe it is all about honouring.
In my experience, people are never satisfied with what you do or give.
God is proud of you and I’m proud of you too.
Don’t hide in your house or wish the ground will swallow you up.
I believe that Christ has borne shame on the cross of Calvary so when situations arise that will cause me to shrink back, I, in faith step into the crowd, believing that God goes me, leading and guiding and the host of heaven and the crowd of witnesses (the faith hall of fame) are cheering me on.
They are cheering you on too. Keep doing the right thing because of Him and not for any earthly applause
You are capable of more, glory to God, the Holy Ghost lives in you.
Thank you so much Tessa. I am so touched by your words. Amen to that — step out in faith! Because God is good and bore it all on the Cross. Hugs and love to you friend. To God be the glory! xoxoxox
Amen
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You’re just amazing. You already “get” what’s important. Giving. This made me smile. Bravo for you for so many reasons. I love this post. 🙂
Hi Jessica, oh my gosh thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. glad it made you smile. 🙂 hugs and love xox
You’re welcome. I love how you are true to yourself. I’m sad you felt ugly and alone and cried yourself to sleep. The way I see it, at some point, everyone TRIES to be who everybody else THINKS they ought to be. There’s something to be said for being authentic and you are already doing that! Love that! 🙂 Bravo!
❤️❤️❤️you’re so sweet. Thanks again xx
Girl…I wish I knew 12 of you. I’m a youth pastor. I asked my students the other day (7th-12th grade) how many believe in sex before marriage. About 25% raised their hands. First, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty and integrity. It takes real guts to blog what you did. Second, you are not the exception, you are the normal in Gods eyes. Although the world looks at this as incredibly spectacular, God sees you as just doing your job and can’t wait to give you the “well done” in the end for being a regular believer. Last, your husband, whoever God has planned for you, is gonna be so grateful. Your virginity is a gift that only you have the ability to give. Incredibly proud and praying for your walk as you gain strength in your faith as you go through this “stuff” in your life.
Hi EDC, thank you so much! Haha 12, that’s funny. Wow a youth pastor. That’s such an important job. Thank you for this meaningful comment. Seriously, your encouragement is just what I needed to hear, so thank you. God is good, and I fully trust in Him. Thanks for the prayers. I’ll definitely keep you and your ministry in mine as well! hugs xox
I admire you very much ! I am a mom of two beautiful daughters and have been married 40+years myself, I think you will be so glad you have made this decision. You are brave to write about! Thank you !
Hi Camellia! Thank you so much for this kind comment! Wow that is so beautiful – 40+ years. What a testimony of love and commitment. Thanks for stopping by. hugs and love to you and yours xox
What used to be the norm now is embarrassing; what used to honored now has to be hidden as a shameful thing. What the world calls good, God says is evil; but what God says is good, the world calls evil. So far has our country fallen from God’s Word and God’s way that we expect ridicule and live in shame for living like we are supposed to. The decline in culture will become this nation’s tombstone. But for us who hope for something better, we wait upon His deliverance. Isaiah 26.
Thank you for your courage. If all the believers would stand up for this (and not support the television industry that makes its money by promoting comedic sexual license), the world would at least have to deal with God’s ways and may have to change to even make a living…
Hi Jefferis, thank you for this powerful reflection! Sadly, I think you’re right about the culture. It’s really sad what pop culture promotes and celebrates as the “normal” thing to do. But you’re right, we’ve gotta keep our eyes on the Lord. Thanks for this encouragement. Hugs and love xox
I love you! Or rather, I love what you are! Virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful, and have so much to offer than special someone that will be coming into your life. Pray diligently, be faithful to him. Just because your haven’t met him, doesn’t mean that you can’t be faithful to him. Keep it up Beauty 🙂 You’re doing great things 🙂
Hi Samuel, haha Aw thank you so much! That means so much! Yes, gotta pray and keep trusting that He will bring the right man into my life. Just gotta have patienceeeeee 🙂 haha So glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
A deeply sensitive, and beautiful article. You are a person of great faith. And pancakes are the best!
Thank you so much friend. I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. And heck yes! Pancakes are awesome! haha hugs xox
Be blessed.
❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
What a great message that all young girls would be glad to hear. That’s pretty great what you are doing. Stay true to word and it will not leave you
Thank you so much Pamela. What a kind thing to say. It means a lot 🙂 hugs and love to you! Hope your week is off to a great start! xox
This! All of this. Amazing.
Hi Kasey, aw thank you so so much! So glad you enjoyed it! Hope your week is off to a great start! hugs and love xox
You are so not alone.
I believe it is all about honouring God
In my experience, people are never satisfied with what you do or give.
God is proud of you and I’m proud of you too.
Don’t hide in your house or wish the ground will swallow you up.
I believe that Christ has borne shame on the cross of Calvary so when situations arise that will cause me to shrink back, I, in faith step into the crowd, believing that God goes with me, leading and guiding and the host of heaven and the crowd of witnesses (the faith hall of fame) are cheering me on.
They are cheering you on too. Keep doing the right thing because of Him and not for any earthly applause
You are capable of more, glory to God, the Holy Ghost lives in you.
Thanks again friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are an absolute rock star! I always enjoy your posts, but you will never top this, ever (sorry). I was so inspired and motivated reading this my heart started to pound and I actually started to cry a little.
Both my oldest son and daughter made vows of chastity and saved themselves for marriage. As a parent I felt so honored to have them as children, not that I judge people who don’t do this, but it’s a glorious thing to do. Both of them feel very happy that they made this decision and it has done nothing but strengthen their marriages. They both are happily married and have beautiful children. I applaud you. I truly do. You will be rewarded and blessed.
Hi there David! Oh my gosh thank you! You’re so kind. Aw! I’m glad it resonated with you. and wow-that is so awesome that your kids made those views. truly powerful. you have given me a lot of hope this evening. so thank you. a lot. hugs and love to you and yours xox
It’s funny that society has turned virginity into something to be ashamed of rather than something to be treasured. Well done to you for making the conscious decision to save yourself for marriage, and for understanding that marriage is more about giving than receiving. Romans 12:2 talks about being transformed not conformed, and having the understanding about giving and being willing to save yourself is a great example of living that out!
Hi Tim! You’re right – the culture has a funny way of doing that with a lot of things. Thanks for this encouragement. Romans12:2 — what a powerful verse. I had forgotten about that one, so thanks for the reminder! Glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Wow! Such a great post and really brave! Thanks for sharing so many aspects of your journey on this blog. I know you are helping so many and I am sending this to my five teenagers! Such an important topic for them, and your voice will be one they will hear and listen to. Don’t stop sharing!
Hi tdeets! Aw, thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind and wonderfully encouraging note! that’s aweomse! I hope they enjoy the piece:) sending big hugs and love to you and yours xox
Ah, Beebs, in spite of the seven-footer of NYC Bronx bus staring me down, saying he had God’s number, too. Or, was it God’s number two? That would be kinda gross, I dunno, I was always so self-conscious about this topic [yourn], nervous, sheepish, disinterested to the point of avoidance, that I kinda refused to admit the existence of it at all. In the this NYC stage, the seven-footer wasn’t slamming my virginity but rather my God. I guess in the way you write, God has a lot of involvement in the “you.” But, anyway, so glad nobody pulled the V-card conversation with me in dating, although also quite glad no one was watching my thought stage on my first date and the words going merry-go-round in my head, and me, WHY? WHY? WHY? Have sex with [cutie]. Have sex with [cutie]. Have sex with [cutie]… … … WHY? I don’t even like that topic! I don’t like anything! I believe in an ascetic life with no pleasures and no joy! That’s why I choose to never even eat dessert!! And so my life went…until life taught me to remember who I was or am or might be or … well, should have been…And I thought the world of a certain gal. Still do. But it’s weird. Anyway, I dunno, everything’s weird. I guess I have a blank look on my brain right now, an abyss of unfathomable ignorance about the whole topic of love in its entirety. I guess I should’ve asked that first girl on that first date if we could “do it.” Maybe I would have learned to live with shame and handled some of my later life better. Courage never comes cheap. I wish I’d learned my lesson. I wish I will have, and I still hope that I might, but love and curiosity sure do pull at one’s heartstrings. I certainly do understand that. I’m too much of a fool to see clarity in why people do or say as they do. I’m too much of an idiot to ever explain why I ever did what I did. I do it all the same, even to sound like the fool of an idiot that I am. I waited for that one, and I guess we were one week away from the day when somehow I didn’t delay. It was good for me while it lasted, those years. Nothing ever seems understandable about life’s end from beginning. Choices seem rash like a hurricane even though it’s so hard to identify their source or foundation later looking back. I would like to excuse myself and exit with some excuse for my bad life, but I won’t. I’ll acknowledge that even though I thought to live well, even though I had courage to stand up for belief, still I’ve hurt those I’ve loved, and it’s not an easy thing to find peace. If love were soup in a Chinese shop served with sex as noodles on top. If love were nothing more than chicken legs eaten and forgotten like yesterday’s eggs, I guess it would mean nothing when love falls apart. A little indigestion, maybe a fart. But searching as to earth’s core, after finding searching everywhere and still nothing to give a care to aware. I guess love, like the heart of the earth, many would expose if they knew it’s lurk. But as they don’t and search in vain, holy love’s pretty face remains. I guess it’s good to be kept locked up where only the daring, the cultured may sup. When heart is bound and life denied, love can find a better ride. Still, I’m a bad example. But I’m glad that I don’t care. Maybe nobody should, but I’m not going to judge. Thanks for the tackling the topic. You seem to do it better every time. It’s a hard read, but that’s good for us squeamish country folk!
Hi Dan, thank you for this reflection. It breaks my heart to think that you deny yourself joy! I know you are not into “God-stuff” but I just want to share with you that there is a verse that talks about how Jesus came so that we could have life and have it to the full. AKA — He wanted us to be joyful! If I lived near you I would drop off a care package with a bunch of fun things — like balloons and whoopee cushions and silly string and candy and stuff that would make you smile. Because you deserve joy. You’re worth it. And PS – I will never be able to eat Chinese soup the same way again. haha hugs xox
Beebs, melted Hershey bar in its package for your whoopee cushion, paper snow balls for balloons, candy as long it’s chocolate, and ribbon and lace for your silly string. Don’t worry about the soup, it’ll come out as poop, but sex lasts forever. My joy is war, but not really. I guess it’s just my sore. Maybe someday plowshares and pruning hooks may call our tow. I hope. If not, more war.
Super inspiring, thanks for sharing! A 90’s quote moment.. “you go girl” lol
Thank you so much! haha I so love the 90’s! 🙂 I was a spice girls fan from the start! 🙂 haha thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
So proud of you for making an unselfish decision.
Hi there Dr. Burton! Thank you so much for this 🙂 I appreciate your encouraging words. Hugs xox
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. The reason I am struggling being married is because of that I expect something out of this relationship rather than giving. I am selfish. Your post is such a great reminder to me and the world about relationships. It is so hard within myself to give like this. I need God’s help. It is especially hard to give when you have been deeply wounded by your spouse. My natural reaction is to withhold my giving anything until he stops his hurtful behavior. But your post is really pointing out to me in such a lovely and gentle way that I’m wrong. What a great testimony you are.
Hi there friend. Thank you so much for sharing this. Navigating the complexities of relationships is so difficult. I’m so inspired by you and your spirit. God is good and will help us heal. Heal our hearts, our relationships – everything. Sending you such a big hug right now. xox
Late-Bloomer, I am sorry to read that you’ve been wounded by your spouse. Things in a relationship are not supposed to be that way. Please take care of yourself and if need be seek support and assistance. God bless!
I agree. My heart breaks to know that he has not cherished you the way you deserve. yes, seek that if need be xx
Reblogged this on FitDeen.
Thank you so much for the reblog! It really means a lot! hugs and love xox
Thank you. Thank you for your honesty, your openness, and the gentle reminder of what my relationships should look like. Not what I can get but what I have to offer. And I have a lot to offer and it’s worth me waiting to jump back into the dating pool until I am more emotionally together.
Thank you so much for this friend. You’re right – you have SO MUCH to offer! Sending you a big big hug right now. thanks for stopping by xox
Truth!
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You are DEFINITELY not alone sista! I’m right there with you. My very own cousin (who isn’t a Christ-follower) just tried to convince me that I needed to loosen my stance on my virginity. It’s a badge of honor and precious gift to our future husbands! #VSquadRocks
Hi there friend! haha love the hashtag!! Oh my gosh can that squad seriously be a thing??? Like can we make t-shirts!?! haha but truly, thank you for this encouragement. It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone. Glad you stopped by. big hugs to you friend. VSquadRocks 🙂
“I felt dumb. I felt ugly. I felt alone.”
I was saving myself for marriage for 26 years and mistakenly gave in to temptation. Once. It’s been 3 years and I still struggle with feeling dumb, ugly, alone and tainted. The only thing that has kept my emptiness and inadequacy at bay is prayer. God forgave me but I struggle to forgive myself…I failed myself and a future woman. BBB, you have stronger character than I ever have; you’ll get through this!
Hi RJN, thank you so much for sharing this. God is amazing in that He forgives us of everything we bring to Him. Forgiving ourselves is always so hard. It took me YEARS and I mean YEARS to forgive myself of all the pain and hurt my anorexia caused to my loved ones. It is still something that if I’m really honest, I still have to work on. But one thing is true: God forgives. And He does not see us the way we see ourselves. He only sees His precious children. Thanks for stopping by. hugs and love friend xox
This is seriously lovely. You have inspired my next topic. I was a Virginia when I married my man and he was not. But it don’t even matter because I knew I was the one recieving his soul, not just his body. Thank you for sharing! Looooved. Let’s stop the stigma of ugly virgins. We are dang hot and dang sexy too!
Hi Jessica, thank you so much for sharing this. haha love that so much! Yeahhhhh! 😉 so glad you stopped by! thanks for the enocouragement! xox
Good post, BBB. My wife and I waited and we’re glad we did. You nailed it when you said it was about giving, not getting.
Thanks for this friend. I really appreciate it. You’ve given me hope 🙂 Sending big hugs and love xox
Lovely post, very brave. I stuck to my guns and waited until I was in love, even if not married, and experienced similar feelings, though not as beautifully articulated as you. Proud of you!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. Means a lot!! 🙂 hugs xox
BRAVA! Your blog reminded myself of me 24 years ago when I first met my then boyfriend, now husband. He was stunned that I was saving myself. I was a rare bird, he said. He didn’t see things like I did, at first, and I loved him despite it. It was then I realized, it wasn’t about him. It was about me. I wanted it. And I’m still glad I did. Thank you for being so open about such a sensitive issue. It needs to be talked about.
You’re not alone and know that God will continue to bring people into your life who will show you this over and over again. 🙂 Bless you!
Hi friend! A rare bird — I like that. So glad that you followed your heart. Thanks for your wonderfully encouraging words. It really means a lot. God is good! hugs and love xox
BBB:
Another great post.
In seminary, I had a single friend who recommended a book by Doug Rosenau and Michael Todd Wilson. Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality. (Atlanta: Sexual Wholeness Resources, 2006). Read my review here: Single but not Alone: Soul Virgin (http://wp.me/p3Xeut-hc).
Healthy relationships require practice; practicing unhealthy relationship leads to all sorts of bad outcomes. Unfortunately, Hollywood and our society reinforce the latter.
Stephen
Hi there Stephen! Sounds like a really interesting book! thanks for passing it along. You’re right – Hollywood unfortunately has a bit of a different agenda… Thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
Saving yourself is not dumb, definitely not ugly, and know that you are not alone and there are many people who wish they could join you. Saving yourself for “the one” shows patience, virtue, strength, and grace at the highest level. I admire you so much for that and also for sharing your story. I know that it can be scary to put yourself out there and now and then you may feel vulnerable, but I feel honored that I got to read this.
This is going to sound so cliche, but never settle because you deserve the very best and you should never settle for less than butterflies. I also admire your parents for their 40 years of marriage. It is so beautiful and true that we should be thinking about what we can give rather than what we can get.
Thanks again for writing this. It has helped put things back into perspective for me. *hugs* <3
Hi there friend. Thank you so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot. Yeah, it is scary…But I am just so encouraged by folks like YOU who offer such kindness. I can’t tell you how much that means, so thank you. I’ll keep looking for those butterflies 😉 hehe thanks friend. and yes — my parents are freaking rock stars 🙂 hugs and love xox
True Beauty . You nailed it. Just nailed it! You stuck the landing and everything just now! If there’s one thing reading the Book has force-fed my warped mind it is that we are messed up and God is not. He sees the universe, the world, you, and me as we really are. We are the ones who see a twisted reality, and the World has twisted True Beauty into something Ugly. You have embraced Reality, hugged the Truth and the One who spoke it to us and it doesn’t look like you are letting go any time soon. Hang on to Him and onto every Word He says about you, BBB, because from where I’m sitting, it looks like He is very much in love with you. Very, very much.
haha thank you so much! Amen to that – God is not messed up and loves to fix our messes! Isn’t that such a comfort to know that God doesn’t see us the way we see ourselves, but rather as His precious children!? so awesome. You’ve got me excited for gymnastics in the olympics now 🙂 haha thanks again. hugs xox
I feel almost equally odd commenting on this *downs a shot* but….just from this side of the electrons, the pictures indicate you are blessed with a God-given beauty, inside and out. You are right, it is about what you give. Congratulations for still being in a position to give that gift!
But I understand your gentleman’s concern that perhaps the gift may not be well received. That is (with guys…we are kinda dense) a distinct risk. Not that all guys are dense, but…we are Martians (or waffles) to you Venusians (or spaghetti). So it IS still somewhat about you, and YOU wanting to GIVE the gift even if it isn’t as well received as you hope, dream, desire. Or better, to realize that the gift is to God, not to the guy who will actually posses it.
*downs another shot*
Peace 🙂
Hi Jeff, oh my gosh thank you so much! haha oh my gosh martians — I am literally laughing out loud right now! so thank you for that gift 🙂 but seriously, I really appreciate all the kind things you said…thank you friend. 🙂 hugs and much love xox
Your courage, honesty and vulnerability are beautiful. Look in the mirror every day and remind yourself of that! And if a man doesn’t get it, he’s not the one.
Hi there friend! wow, thank you for this beautiful comment! I really appreciate it. God is good! Hugs and love xox
That dress looks gorgeous on you! 🙂
As someone who hasn’t lost her V-card either, I really enjoyed reading your post and can resonate with a lot of what you mentioned. It can be easy to feel discouraged and lonely when we approach romance from a different perspective than a lot other people in our culture. You’re not alone in feeling insecure or ‘ugly’ or ‘weird’ for being a virgin.
I’m glad that this experience has inspired you to reach out more for God rather than drawing away or conforming to the world’s expectations and standards.
Hi Ophie! haha oh my gosh thank you so much 🙂 I love when the occasion arises to get gussied up! 🙂 hehe But seriously, thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Sending such a big hug! xox
I wish we lived closer where I could hug you, cry with you, and encourage you over coffee. Your post absolutely made me cry because I’ve known that type of lonely and that feeling of embarrassment for a decision you should never be embarrassed about. As a fellow v-card holder (is that the cool way to say it?) I’ve dealt with this all a few times over. I never expected to not be married in my thirties, but it happened. And each year that passes and I’m not married, I get a little more fearful of this conversation with people because they REALLY look at me funny when I tell them. I have found this year especially hard because my dear friend R passed away unexpectedly – I loved him very much and a part of me always thought if he got his life together, we would have gotten back together – so when he died, I didn’t just mourn him, but the idea of a future with him. But every time I think about giving up and giving in, I remember that (according to Jewish law) it is more than just the ultimate gift you can give, it is a blood covenant between a virgin bride and her groom. It’s a blood covenant just like our covenant that Jesus made with us when he was crucified for our sins to make pure and holy before God. That keeps me from giving in and giving up every single time. Know you are not alone in this – there are others like us out there! And if it’s any comfort, EVERY MARRIED PERSON I’ve ever spoken to, who didn’t wait, wishes they would have – the first thing they’ll say is if they had it to do over again, they’d wait for their spouse. So chin up…he’s out there, and I promise, if he’s special enough to marry, he’ll FULLY appreciate the gift you give him!!
Hi there Grace, thank you so much for this powerful reflection. I am so sorry for your loss. I can tell that R occupies a special spot in your heart, so know that I am giving you a big big hug right now. Thank you for the encouragement. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this. You’re right — God is good and has the right men out there for us. And hey, I would take you up on that cup of coffee any day! 🙂 thanks again friend. You are a blessing 🙂 hugs an love xox
yes! yes!! yes!!!
Aw, thank you! thank you!! thank you!!! 😀 hehe
Girl. Seriously THIS post is why I write. Like , I felt like I was reading my life , but I wasn’t the one who wrote it. youtube.com/c/natajazanelle come talk with us. There is more people than you know waiting ! You just inspired me so.
Haha aw, thank you so much Nataja! I’m so glad it resonated with you!! I’ll definitely check out your channel! Lemme know if you’d ever like to collab on anything! 🙂 hugs and lots of love! PS – i love your name – so beautiful! xx
Would loveeeeee to collab ! And thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
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Beautiful. Moved me to tears. As the father of two daughters about your age (early 20s), I want them to read this. Thanks for your openness and candor on the subject. So important, the truths you expressed.
Hi there Rob! Thank you so much for this encouraging note. It really means a lot. Hugs and love to you and yours xox
*stands up, claps and cheers you on*
Way to go! You are TRULY, Beautiful and stronger than most. I commend you. 🙂
(Hugs)
Thank you so much!! 🙂 awww that is so sweet of you to say 🙂 I’m touched 🙂 thanks for stopping by! hope your week is off to a great start! hugs and love xox
I would love to get you a copy of, “The Secret Of The Stairs” by Wade E Taylor. It teaches about the LOVE of God for us from the Song Of Solomon. It changed my whole perspective! 🙂
Oh wow! Sounds like an interesting book! I’ll keep my eyes peeled for it. Thanks for the recco!
This is the best way to get a copy, from his website. http://www.wadetaylorpublications.org/books.html
👍👍👍thanks
Wow this is some good stuff! Thank you for sharing on a topic that we don’t talk about near enough. Abstinence before marriage is so worth celebrating! Thanks for sharing and for giving glory to God in doing so. You’re a really gifted writer. Keep at it!
Hi there friend! Aw, thank you so much! I really appreciate your encouragement. God is good! 🙂 Glad you stopped by! Happy Monday! xox hugs and love
I cracked up 😂 I loved it. If it makes you feel any better, the church we attend has many virgins who proudly hold that v – card and well into their 20s and 30s … all 4 of my teens included. I wish I would have waited even being raised in an atheist house hold. Stay 💪!
Hi friend! Aww so glad it made you laugh! Thank you for this encouragement. It’s nice to now I’m not alone:) sending big hugs to you xox
Hey BBB, I wish I could reach through this screen right now and give you a big hug. I have had these uncomfortable talks, but with friends not people I met in bars. I don’t think it made it me feel any better trying to tell others that don’t believe in saving yourself for marriage that I am, or at least have recommitted myself after I had a serious fiancee whom I thought would be my husband. I have experienced a LOT of shame after that break-up knowing I gave myself to that man and now I wouldn’t have it to give to any other. I have recommitted myself to Christ and to my future husband knowing that I do have a lot to give and hopefully my future husband has been preparing himself in the same manner. God bless you and your work BBB!
Hi Lyndsay! Thank you so much for the hugs and the encouragement. I’m giving you a big hug right back! But seriously, it means so much that you would share your heart like this. You’re so right – you have SO MUCH to give. So so much. Your future husband is going to be one lucky fella! 🙂 hugs and love to your friend xox
So first, let me make a confession of my own since you made one already: I’m a 31 year-old male and I’m a virgin. Sounds like admitting an addiction, no? The peculiar thing is that in our culture, even as Christians, we are expected to have sex before marriage.
I always enjoy the reasons: “The Bible was written a long time ago when people got married young.” “You won’t know how to please your wife/husband.” “It’s just sex.” Ad nauseam.
Well, if there is an issue with The Bible being irrelevant due to its age, is murder okay now? Stealing? If you get married as a virgin, and your spouse is one too, you two will figure things out together, no? And you’ll never have someone else to compare them to. And sex is, of course, not just sex.
Having known more than enough people who had sex before marriage, I have yet to hear that it was indeed just sex. There is always an emptiness and missing-piece syndrome. We have to realize that God didn’t make up the part about the two becoming one, and we are right to be greedy with whom we become one — perhaps the only allowable time, but I digress. Sex, as with all things, must take a back seat to what God desires of us, our desires important to Him but ever secondary.
Forgive me for my candor, but a man who can’t understand why you are saving yourself for marriage doesn’t deserve someone like you (then, it is a rare man who actually does deserve the woman he ends up with). It follows that such a person has not done as much themselves, and you deserve as much, although such men are rare in extremis. But then rarity ought follow rarity.
Listen, I know the loneliness that comes with celibacy, wanting to share yourself, in whole, with another person. It is hard to see others doing what we long for, while we are denied, but, as I wrote earlier, we as Christians must find God and His Word above our desires. We have to ask ourselves the terrifying question as to whether we would remain a virgin if we were denied marriage by God.
As for how you felt exposed, well, you were. But there is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel embarrassed by. There is nothing that anyone thinks of us that compares to what God thinks of us. Confidence comes when we are sure of who God is and who we are to Him. You are not alone, though we are a seemingly dying breed. You are beautiful for choosing God over a man. And my goodness, your future husband ought to be thankful for the woman that you are and the difficult choice you have made.
Remember this: beauty resides in the spirit, in the heart, never in the mirror or in the opinion of another person.
Hi Kello, wow. Thank you so much for this powerful reflection. I am seriously so uplifted after reading your words. And may I just say, you write beautifully! So. Much. Wisdom. Here. And I love hearing from a guy’s perspective. You’re right- admitting the V Card does feel like that! But everything you’ve said is so true…We’ve got to keep seeking God above our desires. Thank you for such powerful encouragement and hope. Fist bump through the screen for realz 🙂 hehe hugs and love xox
Glad the words meant something, though I simply try to write the truth.
A bit of a tangent: ever find it extremely strange that a society that reveres fairy tales, particularly for romance, doesn’t want actual fairy tale love? Is there a single fairy tale where the couple has sex before getting married?
And Christian is fine. I don’t normally go by my last name. 😛 Haha.
Haha-ok sorry Christian! 😬😬 haha i had a 50/50 shot lol but you’re so right about the fairy tales! Very strange! Hugs xx
You are an amazing young lady. Hold onto that.
Hi Mary, my goodness, thank you for this. It means so much. Hugs to you! xox
Hey there, I really appreciated your post. Don’t worry there are guys out there that are saving themselves for women of God who have saved themselves. I was 29 when I finally got married and lost my v-card. The awesome thing is that God blessed me with a wonderful wife who had also saved herself for me too. There is something awesome about being able to share that with each other for the first time all the great parts and all the awkwardness too. Hang on, it’s worth the wait and God will bless your faithfulness!
Hi Andy, thank you so much for sharing this! How inspiring. You’ve really given me hope. It’s nice to know I”m not alone. Hugs and love xox
I have only been with my husband. We didn’t wait until we were married .. However I am glad that I have only ever been with him. It will mean the world to your husband, and you will never regret the gift that you give him.
Hi there friend! Thank you so much for sharing this. That is so beautiful. Thanks for this kindness. Hugs and love xox
Proverbs 5 verse 5 warns against adultery I only wish that what I was your age I had that verse before became stupid way to go I love you buddy
Hi friend! Nice to see your face pop up! Thanks for sharing this verse. God’s word is powerful. Hugs and love xox
I only give you a message of love because it happened to me and I wasn’t as smart as you at the time. When I lost mine getting ruins my life for 7 years
❤️❤️❤️❤️big hugs friend
Be well in health, joyful in spirit and strong in word
❤️❤️right back at’cha!
Thank you for sharing. I believe it took courage, and a nudge from Holy Spirit to be open with all who will read. Yet, even as I write that, it doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t seem right that a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, is unusual because that person, male or female, is a virgin. What has happened to Righteousness and a Christian walk.
Back when my wife and I were married 45 plus years ago, we were both virgins, but the pressure was not the same way back then as with you young people now. But again, I have trouble understanding that among Christians.
I thank you for writing this, hoping that many young people will see or hear of your stand, and follow your example.
It seems so strange to us, but even in a small group Bible Study that our daughter and son in law are in, only they and one other couple were virgins when they married. Apparently each couple said they gave their virginity to their future spouse, but it was still before marriage.
Sorry for the ramble, but thanks again for your example, and telling your story.
GOD’S ABUNDANT BLESSINGS!!
Hi GM! wow thank you for this beautiful encouragement. What a beautiful example you and your wife are leading – 45 year, that’s so beautiful. Thank you for your kindness. It means more than you know. hugs and love to you and yours xox
I totally understand because I didn’t have sex until I was married either. I got a lot of “offers”, dated a lot and did other things, (and truth be told, I shouldn’t have been), but I waited to “cash in the card” for the same reason you did. Some people didn’t understand that, but telling turned out to be an *excellent* “weed-out tool” to see which guys really liked me for *me* and which just wanted sex. I wasn’t concerned about him waiting (my husband had not) so much as whether or not he respected me and my beliefs enough not to push me too far. I had a virgin ex who didn’t. I guess I took a long time here to say that you’re not the only beautiful girl (inside and out) who didn’t want to give that part of herself until she was married.
May God bless you and keep you.
-Shannon, theprozacqueen.wordpress.com
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Hi Shannon! Thank you so much for sharing this. What a beautiful testimony of hope. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. Thanks again for such kindness. It means more than you know. hugs and love xox
God is directing us. He directs us to friends and away from those who we’re better off away from. He helps us see things in both kinds of people though. He doesn’t do it for us. He puts decisions to make, lessons to learn, and new paths to follow all in front of us for us to choose. Every path we choose helps us gain wisdom and knowledge in life. Sometimes we choose paths that need more of His help to get us on a better one. Sometimes we choose the better one and see His grace sooner. He tries to save us for the right one to be with. We can have friends and be close people of either gender. We can love them as He loves us. But he saves us for that one total love and while others may take rougher paths to discover it (some implode themselves before getting there sadly) its a better path to do exactly what you are doing!! Biggest hugs!!
Hi Migueltio, thank you so much for this! Wow, such uplifting words. I am so touched. You’re so right, we’re all on a journey, and learning LOTS along the way. I appreciate your encouraging words! Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love!! xoxo
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<3 <3 <3
It IS a gift to that man you will one day marry – but it is ALSO a gift to you. You don’t need to let anyone get that close to you who isn’t totally, 100%, committed to you. Sex is meant to be the culmination of togetherness and despite all societal evidence to the contrary, it can’t actually be done ‘casually’. Not without numbing our souls. You don’t need that. Nor do you need the anxiety and pain of non-casual-but-still-unmarried sex that may, or may not, end up in marriage. No. You don’t need that. You just keep believing that you are infinitely cherish-able, smarter than your average duck, and absolutely worth waiting for (’till marriage – whether or not he waited before).
You are.
Hi Lorrie, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. You have really touched my heart so thank you. Sending big hugs:)
nice, i like it
Thanks friend! So glad you liked it! Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love to you as well
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This. Post. Is. Awesome.
And beautiful.
And raw.
I love it.
Biggest hugs. Keep on keeping the faith, you got this!
Aw thank you so much:) that really means a lot. Sending big big hugs right back at’cha! Hugs and love xox
I’d like to suggest you look at this from a slightly different angle. Keeping your virginity ‘for’ your husband-to-be is only part of it. The first priority is your Heavenly Father, who has made it abundantly clear that He does not approve of fornication (Matt 15:19-20 – Jesus speaking). The second priority is yourself, and it’s a matter of respect for YOU. Every time a person shares their body ‘loosely’ with another, they get hit with a download of that person’s spiritual baggage – and it stays. Say no more! The third priority is having that gift to share with your future husband. Do not regard virginity as ‘self denial’ for someone who has not showed up yet. You are maintaining your own integrity and your standing as a daughter of your Heavenly Father.
Hi friend! Wow thank you so much for this powerful perspective. You’ve really given me a lot to think and pray about. You’re right-it’s to honor God! Hugs and love xox
Right on!
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(Trying again…)
I am probably commenter #7429, but have you read my post titled, “Slut.” ? You could do worse, dear. Besides, it helps to back off and look at the big picture: from where I sit, my marriage that was supposed to last forever, lasted for 7 years, my two children who were going to have everything I didn’t, inherited my bipolar disorder AND birth defects, the loss or even the protection of my virginity until I was over 21 doesn’t even show up as a blip on my radar. Some things don’t turn out the way you thought the would…and sometimes you respond with, “Thank God!”
Hi Kitsy! Oh no! I definitely got your last comment! I hope it shows up on your computer this time! Thank you for sharing this. I have not read that post yet, but I definitely will head on over and check it out! You’re right, sometimes things don’t turn out exactly as planned, but we have to just trust that we’ll end up where we’re supposed to. I’m sorry that your marriage didn’t last forever. Sending you a big hug. It’s hard to understand why things happen, but I have to just believe that He is good and in control. Hope you’re having a nice evening. So glad you stopped by my friend xox
Hugs!!! You have nothing to be ashamed about! I’m reminded of the parable of the mustard seed. I truly believe that in these situations, it is the Holy Spirit that speaks through us. Your friend was not in a place where he could understand the fullness of your message, which was really God’s message speaking through you, but just because you didn’t see the fruit of your great risk doesn’t mean that in time it won’t bear fruit. One day, when he is wiser and more understanding, maybe he will think back on that conversation and it will all come together. I can think of many instances in my recovery journey when that was the case for me. I needed more time and more grace and more repetition of the same message until it finally clicked, like the realization that I am forgiven. As a fellow V-card holder in my early 30s, I offer you my solidarity. I’ll never forget the time a friend outed me to my entire grad school class (of 200 people) by declaring, as grades were released, “This VIRGIN earned an honors in human sexuality!” I wanted to melt into the floor, and every time I thought of that moment, I could feels waves of shame wash over me. It’s been many years, and I can think about it without reexperiencing the hurt, but I still remember exactly what it was like. Sending so much love to you! Xoxoxo
Hi Lulu! Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. Oh my gosh. I am so sorry that that happened in grad school! Oh my gosh I giving you such a big hug. I want to smack the idiot that said that upside the head!!!! But seriously, you’ve offered so much wisdom here, it means the world. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this. And boy, can I relate to needing to be reminded that I’m forgiven. Holy camoley can I relate to that. But we are. God is so good. Sending bug hugs my friend ! xox
I was scrolling through the other comments here and marveling at the immediate and overwhelming responses to your post. It’s amazing the number of people who you encourage, inspire, uplift, but also challenge through your writing. When the Holy Spirit is at work, people are drawn together. The Spirit collects people to it. That’s what I see happening here. Whatever God’s purpose was for you on that emotional night, He is continuing to minister through you now. By the way, did you know that in the Ancient Greek of the bible, the word “witness” also means “martyr”? Not all of us are called to be actual martyrs, but I think that in this very secular Western culture, many people become martyrs of a different sort, by being countercultural and suffering the consequences in social status or reputation. I SO love you for your integrity, your vulnerability, and the way you both constantly remind and challenge me. I think the true attribution for this quote goes to newspaper columnist Red Smith, when asked if writing was easy, he said, “Why no. You simply sit down at the typewriter, open your veins, and bleed.” Thank you for sharing your heart. You are definitely not alone. ❤️
Wow, Lulu. You are such a great friend. Truly. I am so grateful for you. Thank you for this. Yes, I have been absolutely blown away by the kindness and encouragement people have so generously offered here. I am so touched by the love and true community that has come together. God is at work. And my goodness, that quote could not be more true! I love it! Thanks again for being you, Lulu. You really are a blessing! massive hugs xox
Massive hugs back to you, my friend! Thank you for all of your kind words. ❤️
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Great post 🙂 Their are different kinds of reasons people love to talk about their virginity. Sometimes, it is because they want to feel what sex is like. Sometimes it is because they want to have children. Other reasons you can fill in the blank. Personally, I am not an expert on the topic as embarrassing as it probably sounds, but why do I get the very strange feeling that most (not all) people who lose their virginity are happy about it If they lose it after they get married? I hope this does not sound like an uneducated question, but talking to other people, they seem to have implied that? Nevertheless, you wrote a very intelligent post and keep up the great work as always 🙂
Hey John! Thanks so much for sharing this. Good question!! Definitely doesn’t sound uneducated at all! 🙂 So glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
When I married my hubby 13+ years ago, I was a virgin…and it STILL means the world to him. Keep shining your light😉
Hi Vanessa! thank you so much for this encouragement! Seriously, you’ve given me so much hope. Your marriage is an inspiration! hugs and love xox
A wonderful post! Thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks Hugh! I really appreciate it! Glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Be proud of yourself and never let anyone else make you doubt YOU!..The V Card is something that is precious and something that a lot more people should think about. It is something that you can never get back and I’m sure there are many who wished they had waited. So proud of you.
Hey hey Corrie! Oh my gosh thank you friend:) You are always so kind. I am grateful for you:) Hugs and love xox
Thank you. Be Blessed.
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Thank you for this post. It’s great to know that there are other believers who are putting God and His desires for their lives before their own fleshly desires and the normal desires of this world. Virginity is a precious gift and it should be saved and given to the man you marry. It is honoring to God, as well as to you and your future husband. I pray that more people would make this decision for their lives.
I am in my mid-twenties, and like you, I have never “done it”. However, I was assaulted a few years ago and I am struggling with the thought that I no longer have anything to “give away”. I am being told by someone I really trust in my life that I didn’t choose what happened to me, and that I didn’t give myself away, it was taken. Hopefully someday I will be able to believe this, and I am going to continue to save myself so that the first time I CHOOSE to “do it” will be with my husband.
Just know that you are definitely not alone. You are strong and beautiful and obedient to God. Keep the faith.
Hi Grace, thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that you were assaulted. That absolutely breaks my heart. Your friend who told you that is 100% right — it was taken from you. Stolen. You did not choose to do that but were assaulted. And it pains my heart to think that someone did not treat you as the precious gift that you are. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are worth waiting for. Sending you so much love and hugs xox
I just prayed 5 mins before checking my email and seeing this post! My prayer was to God that I want my own man that I can be one with” I too am a virgin! I am 29 approaching 30 (September) and I often feel like an alien. I was fine until recently when every one started asking why I am still single and asking about marriage. I am in no hurry to rush marriage however I don’t want to be single for ever. I am so thankful that you shared your story because it gets me hope and courage to keep standing strong!
Hi Miss Logan 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m so glad that our paths crossed tonight! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. Grateful for you, friend. I totally can relate to everything you’re saying! hugs and love xox
Same here… Approaching 30 soon & don’t wanna be single forever either. But you know something…I don’t think we will and it won’t be long. God is working on a very special man for us, so it’s critical (yeah, I know easier said than done) we are patient and faithful through this part of our lives
Thank you for the confirmation and understanding! Bless you Sister!
Not a problem!😄👋🏾
I think everyone has pretty much covered it all. I think your waiting is beautiful and a precious treasure to the Lord. I was not walking with the Lord until 3 years into my marriage, age 24. I was not a virgin when we got married. However, since our marriage ended 13 years ago, I have kept myself for Jesus and am waiting for the one He has for me. I know it’s hard, but God is faithful. You get even stranger reactions when you were once married, have 3 kids, and are now celibate!! I like to have fun with it when I can. Anytime a doctor asks the question, “Is it possible you could be pregnant?” I answer, “Unless Jesus is coming back the second time the way He did the first, then no.” Haha!! It gets them laughing 😂
hahaha oh my gosh that answer to your doctor is priceless!! 🙂 hehe thank you for sharing this. You’re so right — God is faithful. And He will provide. Trusting Him is the hardest part. God is preparing those men for us right now:) Sending big hugs xox
Let me begin by telling you that you’re one of the rarest, most beautiful people in the entire world.
I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Now, allow me to be as transparent as you have been…I’m a man and like many who have posted comments thus far, I’m also a virgin. I have for many years been proud of that character trait because it’s a symbol of my obedience to my God, but for some time now I’ve felt alone and ashamed for being the man that I am…for waiting to have sex…for saving myself for the woman I may one day call my wife.
And after reading your words today I have hope again that God has done a wonderful thing in preserving those whom He has chosen. Very much like Elijah when God told him that He had saved 7000 in Israel who had not bowed a knee to Baal…
Your words, along with many who have commented here, are a reminder that I’m not alone.
Take Courage…Stay true to God…Stay true to yourself…Stand firm in what you believe…Always stand firm in God!
God bless you, my dear…and thank you. 😉
Wow. I am so humbled and touched by your comment. Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your heart. I so agree…reading these comments, I have been profoundly moved in knowing that I’m not alone in this. I was getting really discouraged, believing that I was literally the only one, but I have just been so encouraged by everyone sharing their stories too! Hang in there my friend. We’re not alone and God is good! Hugs and love xox
🙂 thank you.
❤️❤️❤️
hey….how did you put those hearts in the comments section? I’ve been trying to figure that out for a long time.
haha I have to do it through my iPhone. There’s an emoji keyboard on the iPhone. When I reply on my computer, I’m just limited to the 🙂 smilies. Hope that helps! xox
awww….ya…that helps…a bit discouraging however. 😉
Sorry friend! Copy/paste?? 🙂
I can try that.
Hope it works!
Not alone. I was in my twenties. Saved it for the man I would marry. You go.
Thank you so much:) What a beautiful love story! 🙂 You’re an inspiration! hugs and love xox
You can do it. You’ll feel special forever, and the ones who left you because they couldn’t wait will all be messaging you left and right and you can just laugh and feel like a 👸🏻
Hahahaha this is amazing 🙌🙌🙌😂😎 but seriously, thanks again❤️❤️
Ps your writing us exquisite.
and wow what a kind thing to say!! thank you!!
Whom you sleep with and when is a deeply personal choice, whether it’s based on your religious beliefs or not. Choosing to remain chaste until marriage is a decision that you’ve clearly thought through carefully. Be loud and proud, and have sex when you’re ready to. No apologies sister. And this coming from a woman who made a completely different choice. Sending you love for being brave.
Hi Joanna, thank you so much for this encouragement 🙂 You’re right- it is a deeply personal choice all the way around. Grateful for you, friend! Hugs and love xox
I love this so much! I’m sharing this on Facebook. By the way, you’re totally not alone!
-An ankle-length skirt, orthopedic shoe *insert* wearing virgin with ONLY ONE cat, thank you very much 🙂
Seriously though, I also hate that exposed feeling you get when telling someone you’re a virgin. But it’s also an opportunity to witness about what Jesus has done for us, and that’s why we want to wait for our husbands.
I also like your comparison of Jesus giving all of himself on the cross, to us giving all of us to our spouse. I had never heard it put that way before. 🙂
Hi friend! Aw, thank you so much for this encouragement! hahahah oh my gosh you’ve got me cracking up with the *inserts* hahahah you go girl! But really, it’s nice to know I’m not alone and I’m very grateful for your kind words. And thanks for the shout out on Facebook. *much appreciated* 🙂 hugs and love!
No problem! Haha, it’s true, I wouldn’t be caught dead in the shoes, but my feet get crampy without my Dr. Scholls inserts. xD I have no shame! *hugs*
Haha yessss!! ❤️❤️❤️
I think that this is a wonderful decision that you’ve made, and a great commitment to God, yourself, and your future husband. Virginity is sacred and it should only be given away to the one you marry. It is honoring to God, yourself, and your future husband. Your obedience and your wilingnss to put God’s desires for your life higher on your priority list than your own desires for your life or the desires of this world is inspiring. I hope that others who read this will follow your example.
I’m in my mid twenties, and I too have never “done it”. I always stood firm on that and have never waivered in my decision or commitment to God. However, I was assaulted a couple of years ago. I am really struggling with the thought and belief that I no longer have anything to “give away.” I struggle with thinking that I failed to keep my purity, even though I never wanted it to happen. There is a person in my life whom I trust a great deal who is trying to help me to see that God does not hold that against me, and that I haven’t “given” anything away. It was taken. So I’m trying to take this advice and make it my belief, although it seems impossible at times. I do know, however, that I am going to save the first time I CHOOSE to give of myself for my future husband after we are married.
I just want you to know that you are not alone. You are blessed and loved and you are choosing to honor God. You are making a wise choice and I only pray that more people would make this commitment. Keep the faith.
Hi again friend (I believe this is Grace Wins?) 🙂 Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart and story. I am so sorry that you were assaulted. That absolutely breaks my heart. Your friend who told you that is 100% right — it was taken from you. Stolen. You did not choose to do that but were assaulted. And it pains my heart to think that someone did not treat you as the precious gift that you are. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are worth waiting for. Sending you so much love and hugs xox
So there isn’t really much left to say that hasn’t already been said in the comments but I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. Thank you for showing that it is not a commodity to be given away to some random (although no judgement to those who enjoy participating in the act..Go Get it). Thank you for not only voicing but validating my views on the subject… and if you couldn’t tell, I’m also a virgin and I’m 22. Thank you for showing me and lots of others like me that we aren’t alone and saving oneself is not a myth and completely respectable. And if I haven’t said it enough, I’ll say it again, THANK YOU!
Hi there Miss Larisha. Thank you so much for this heartfelt note. It really means a lot. I agree — no judgement here if people have chosen otherwise. This is just my personal belief on the matter. But it is nice to know I am not alone. 🙂 Grateful for you friend 🙂 hugs and much love to you xox
I am proud of you for sharing this! And thank you because you just stop myself from losing my Virginity just because… Sometimes when we get lonely we have a tendency of doing things … Most of the times they aren’t the right one …
Xoxo, love you girl ! You are beautiful and not alone .
Hi there friend! Thank you for this beautiful encouragement. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone. Grateful for your kindness. hugs and love xox
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It’s just a sad reflection of our times that the word virgin is considered to be a major insult. It shouldn’t be that way. Especially when you consider all of the moral and physical and mental misery promiscuity can lead to.
Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a holy and precious thing that no man can give back to you.
Just consider this: When Jesus came to Earth, he could have chosen anyone to be his mother. He chose a virgin. Furthermore, when the angel came to announce this news to her, her main concern was the possibility of losing her virginity. As soon as the angel reassured her that she would stay a virgin, she accepted.
So, hold on to that V card with pride and dignity. And rock on, girl! 😀
Hi friend! Thank you so much for this encouragement. Wow, I had never thought about that with Mary, but you’re absolutely right. Gosh, that is so powerful. Thanks for this profound insight!! have a great night! hugs and love to you xox
You’re welcome. 🙂
May God bless you.
❤️❤️❤️
Your parents were right in saying “relationships are about giving. If you go into it thinking it’s the other way around, you’re going to end up disappointed and hurt.” I’m married and I can vouch for that. But then husband and wife must realize that it applies to them both, so that by mutually giving- you both enjoy the amazing gifts of receiving as well.
Hi Dexter! Thank you so much for this insight. You’re right — it’s gotta by mutual. A lot of wisdom there. Thanks for stopping by! hope your week is off to a great start! hugs and love xox
This really was a great read! Thanks for sharing! Hugs to you! xoxo
Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
This was a fabulously transparent read…. You are not alone. I am encouraged by the many people telling you that. I have been criticized and heckeled & even accused of lying about it…. but the only one in this equation that matters is you….
Hi Anna! Thank you so much for this reflection. I know! I have been so incredibly encouraged as well! I appreciate you stopping by and for your kindness. Hugs and love xox
Respect. Mad respect to you!
Aw thank you so much! That really means a lot. Hugs and love xox
I think you are awesome, both for doing what you think is right inside & also for expressing your experience of what happened with this guy. It is sooo important to accept and love our process and also to respect ourselves. God bless you friend.
Thank you so much for this friend. I so appreciate your encouragement! You’re so right – we’re all on a journey and we’ve got to learn to love the process! hugs and love to you xox
Great post! Not sure how old you are, but I’m going to guess we’re somewhere in the same age range; you’re not alone–I’m a virgin as well. I know we’re making the right choice 🙂
Thank you so much 🙂 I really appreciate your encouragement. It’s so nice to know i’m not alone! 🙂 sending big hugs and love xox
Oh wow, I love this! You’ll never ever regret your decision to remain a virgin until marriage. And what you said about relationships not being about what’s in it for me is spot on. I’ve been married for 37 years and I’m still learning that, but I can say that the sweetest joys come from putting myself on the back burner and letting hubby be the one I bless. One last thing – my daughter, not married yet, says that she plans to remain a virgin until marriage. She’s met her special someone and I pray that they both stay strong. She said to give in would be like opening her Christmas presents before Christmas. Christmas day wouldn’t be nearly as much fun if she did that. Stay strong and remember that the way is narrow, and not many are traveling that direction – but it’s the best and only way!
Thank you so much for this kind and encouraging comment! 37 years – wow, what a beautiful testimony of love. What an inspiration. Thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
I cannot like this enough! I was in your shoes once, with that exact same conversation. It lost me several guys that I thought I could have envisioned a future with. BUT… the right guy came along. The one that understood exactly what your momma said… it’s about what you GIVE, not what you GET out of the relationship. And I kept my V card until we got married, 5 years ago. It’s possible, and shouldn’t affect your confidence. You’re my hero!
Aw thank you so much for this encouragement! I’m so glad the right guy came along. What an inspiration 🙂 thanks for such kind words ❤️ Hugs and love xox
Lovely, honest post, as always. I hope you meet the exact right person for you–someone who will respect your choice and appreciate the commitment and integrity behind it.
Hi Jenn! Thank you so much for this kind response. I hope so too❤️ and I trust that I will someday:) big hugs and love to you xox
Thank you so much for this. I had one of those long nights a couple weeks ago, when I was up till stupid o’clock in the morning wondering about the whole topic of waiting and marriage and love. (It’s a particular sensitive issue, I think, for a lot of Christian young adults – nowadays, especially.) I made the personal decision to not only save my virginity and my first kiss, but to spend my teenage years seeking God; that means, until I’m 21 (next year), I won’t date or enter any relationships. It’s something I committed to because I wanted to seek God before anything, and I’ve been questioned a lot about it by (and this probably hurts the most) Christians around me. And that night, all the doubts that had been fed to me kinda exploded and I was questioning everything.
But, as I was experiencing all of this uncertainty, I wrote a letter to my future husband titled “One Day”, that was 100% led by the Holy Spirit:
“Right now, I am not okay. One day, though, I will be.
One day, I will sit with you as you read this letter, and I will roll my eyes and apologise for how emotional I was.
One day, you will hold my hand as we stand at the altar, and I will tell you that it was all worth it.
One day, we will have our first kiss.
One day, we’ll have our first fight as a married couple, and there will be tears and harsh words, but we will decide to talk about it as mature adults instead of resorting to childish behaviours.
One day, we will travel to a foreign country and get lost and have to rely on shoddy translation apps and a book as we try and find our way to our motel before the sun sets.
One day, I will pee on a stick and we will no longer be a family of two.
One day, we will go to the hospital and hold our firstborn in our arms and stand in awe at how amazing our God is.
One day, our first child will take their first step.
One day, three will turn into four, and we will make less mistakes with our second, but still learn how to navigate being parents.
One day, we will watch with pride as our children begin their own personal relationship with God as Christians.
One day, our children will grow up and leave to do whatever it is God has called them to do, and we will be two in a house once more.
One day, we will get the call from a nervous young man asking permission to marry our daughter, and we will smile and reminisce about our wedding day all those years ago.
One day, the news will come that we have a new title – grandparents.
And finally, one day, we will leave behind this temporary life we have been granted, and we will go Home, where we will spend eternity with our Creator and the Author of our lives.
One day, but not now.
And I’m okay with that. Because more than I want all that I’ve listed, I know what I already have is so much more incredible. Because right now, I have God. Or, rather, God has me. And I know He will never let go, ever. One day, I will see Him face to face for the first time. If that alone is the ‘one day’ that comes true and nothing else, I am satisfied. Everything else fades in the truth of the glory of God and the gospel.”
You’re not alone in this, sister. Keep fighting, keep waiting. And one day, God will bring you and your husband together – and it will be more beautiful than you could ever imagine. 🙂 <3
~ Eleora.
Hi Eleora, oh my gosh can i just say how beautiful this is!? you’ve got me all choked up. wow. thank you for sharing this poem and for encouraging me that i am not alone. i can’t tell you how much it means to me. and you’re absolutely right – God’s has you and I. and what a comforting thought that is. sending big big hugs xox
🙂 Heh, thanks. All God, though; I can never write like that on my own, haha.
You’re most welcome! Thank YOU, for all your posts! They really encourage and help me. 🙂
Sending hugs right back at you! ❤️❤️❤️
I know the feeling! God is good! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️☺️
Amen! ❤️
🙏❤️😘
I was just thinking that day about the whole thing with marriage and waiting and stuff. Not only is it rather anti cultural in this day and age but it’s almost become a negative stigma for us – and yet, Christians are also the ones shooting us down.
I mean, I’ve had Christian friends tell me that I should ‘date around’ or that waiting instead of pursuing relationships now isn’t something that’s good.
To quote someone, “If a boy really wants to eat at a restaurant, and he goes to it and finds it shut, he’s not going to wait for it to open. He’s going to find another restaurant.” And I was told that I was, basically, a ‘shut restaurant’.
I wanted to reply, “Yes but a restaurant has many customers; I will only have one person. If you really want to go with a restaurant analogy, I’m more like a dish being prepared by the Chef for a particular someone. And by golly, he’ll wait till I’m ‘perfect’ and ready, or he’ll end up disappointed.” But I didn’t say anything because the person who told me was much older than me and I couldn’t really talk back. Kinda wish I had, though. XD
Oh my gosh. Wow. I am speechless after that restaurant analogy. That is so so sad. I’m am sorry that person said that to you. You’re right-we are exquisite dishes:) we’re the catch of the day:) hehe I could have fun with this lol – but really, keep your head up. You are a treasure. Precious. Hang in there friend xox
In hindsight it was really funny, because I’m sure she meant well (I think what she meant was that I should try and keep an open mind about it and not be so quick to write off dating?) but it came across… Rather differently.
I had heaps of fun with with it (feel free to, too, if you want) – though I realised the dish analogy falls short once you consider the fact that God is preparing the guy, too. Does that make us both parts of the same dish? He’s the steak and I’m the mash potatoes? XD
Awww, thank you! You are, too! 😀
Hahaha steak and mashed potatoes!!! Hahaha oh my gosh you’re cracking me up!!! Have a great night friend xox
Hehe. 🙂
Thanks! (It’s morning here, actually, but I know what you mean. :P) Have a great night, too! xo
Oh haha! Then have a great day!!
You are doing the right thing. I was a Virgin when I married my wife and she was a Virgin too. It really enriches a marriage!
thank you so much for sharing this. it’s nice to know i’m not alone. what a beautiful love story! hugs and love xo
Praise God for your honesty and commitment. You are such a rare soul in a world full of ease. Praise God that He has done this in you! Your virginity is not foolish and a godly man will spend all of his days in thanksgiving for a woman who pursued after the Lord. Anyone else who tells you that your virginity is foolish is the fool. Go rock those pancakes and orthopedic suit. 🙂
Thank you so much Matthew! I really appreciate your kind words. truly. 🙂 haha yessss pancakes! haha so glad you stopped by friend xox
Wow. I was browsing similar fitness-related blogs and don’t know how I came upon this. This is probably the most vulnerable, real post that I’ve read on WordPress.
I’m not a virgin, but maybe I can offer some words that might offer some insight.
This past Sunday, my pastor gave a sermon about “praying for the right reasons”. Basically, the message was that when we pray or sing or do anything Christian, we shouldn’t care about what others’ opinion. The only opinion we should care about is God’s. We shouldn’t feel the need to tell somebody that we prayed or did something good. And if we do, we should ask ourselves, who are we praying to? God, or other humans?
I think this kind of relates to your situation. You’re clearly pretty close to that guy that you were talking to, so it’s understandable that his shock over your v-card could shake your confidence a bit. But when you make a big decision like saving your virginity, ask yourself, who are you making that decision for? If it’s not that guy, then you shouldn’t be stressed over his opinion.
Hey friend! wow, thank you for this great perspective. first of all, i’m so glad our paths crossed and that you stopped by! and secondly, i just really appreciate your encouraging words. It means a lot. what a powerful sermon. sounds like a great pastor! have a great week! hugs and love xox
Your future husband is the luckiest man on earth.
haha thank you so much for saying that 🙂 incredibly encouraging, and made me laugh. so thanks friend. hugs and love xox
Hi BBB, enjoy your posts, and send many of them on to my daughters. When you have a few minutes, check out my humble scribblings- https://rtbrooks.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/to-the-far-side-of-the-world-2/ Thanks, and God bless, Rob Brooks
Sent from my iPad
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Hi Rob! Aw, thank you so much! I so appreciate you passing them along to your girls. It means so much. I hope they resonate with them! and absolutely! i look forward to checking out your stuff! hugs xox
Dear BBB, God looks at our hearts and in you he sees a heart of gold because you are more dear to him than the world. Don’t be discouraged or upset by the words of people who do not have an intimate relationship with God like you. Instead know that God has reserved the best for you. Your mother is absolutely right, relationship’s all about giving if you want to see it blossom. You are God’s beloved and chosen one and he has great plans for you and plans that are for your benefit (Jeremiah 29:11).
Stay blessed and keep blogging!
Hi Delon! Thank you so much for this encouragement. wow, i am so touched by your kindness. you’re right, God has a good plan for all of us. What a comfort in knowing that. so glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
I love your boldness in saying it publicly. Virginity doesn’t mean “I can’t get laid”, it means “I won’t carry deeper emotional damage into my marriage”. Attachment issues come to the fore when sex enters a relationship, and the brain doesn’t care if you’re married to the other person.
Go, team V-Card!
P.S. I think you’d appreciate my latest blog about loving yourself: https://thinkfreedomblog.wordpress.com/2016/06/10/love-yourself/
Hi friend! I love that distinction you made. very powerful. Thank you for this kind encouragement. it really means a lot. I look forward to checking out your post! thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
What a powerful post! I pray it encourages others who are walking in your shoes. It is good for all V card holders to know they are not alone. I am amazed at your dedication to your future husband. It reflects your strength that comes through our Savior. You are an amazing woman. When the day comes when you meet your husband, it will be a blessed union. Blessings.
Thank you so much for this kindness. I am truly touched by your words. And Yes! It has been so incredibly powerful to read from others their stories and learn that, indeed, I am not alone. Feeling very blessed and encouraged tonight. so thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙂 big hugs and love to you friend xox
Wow it’s crazy how transparent you are on this blog! i applaud you for that, and you look amazing in that dress finally i am in the same page as you and it makes me happy that were not old frumpy people like steve carrell
Thanks friend! Aw that’s kind of you to say. I appreciate your encouragement. Glad to know I’m not alone. Sending big hugs and love to you!
Dear BBB.
Wow!
It’s hard to find the right words, as English is not my native language but…
You are Brave. You are Beautiful. You are Brilliant and you are simply the Best! (That was an extra B, but you deserve it!
Lennart in Sweden
Hi Lennart! Oh my gosh what a kind response! Wow! I am so touched. Thank you! And oh Sweden ❤️ I visited my friend for midsommar a couple years ago and it was the best trip of my life! Sweden is beautiful and so much fun! Hugs to you friend! Xox
I hope I’m able to instill this sense of self-respect and courage in my 3 daughters.
Hi friend, thank you so much for this encouragement. It sounds like you’re a great parent:) sending hugs and love xox
You are like a diamond, taking in light through its facets and distributing colors. The social norm, is relationships that are so casual they border pathetic. You reflect your uniqueness against it and that warmth is felt. Be that diamond and continue to share your own unique color displacing light and reflecting your own unique color. Sometimes the hardest thing is being yourself.
Wow thank you so much! What a kind thing to say! Makes Rihanna’s song, “shine bright like a diamond” take on a whole new meaning! 🙂 have a great day! Hugs and love xox
is that what the cool kids are listening too? 🙂
hahah oh yes. definitely 🙂 🙂 🙂
I think you’d like Diablo Cody’s movie, Paradise. Your life seems similar to the main character.
Sweet! Thanks I’ll check it out! ❤️❤️❤️
Amen to this! Being a Christian in this day and age is getting harder and harder. Even some of my Christian friends have used up their ‘V-card’, and I begin to look stupid even in those circles. It hurts sometimes, but it’ll all be worth it one-day. Thanks for putting this stuff into words!
Hi Jonathan! Thank you so much:) breakout appreciate the encouragement. Yes it will be worth it:) Hugs and love xox
Being counter-cultural involves a lot of trying moments, and feeling alone is just an indication that you’re doing it right. Don’t be weary, He makes trying moments as bricks out of which He builds the edifice of glory for you. Praying for you BBB.
Hi there friend! Thank you so much for the prayers. It really means a lot. And wow what a powerful image with the building blocks. Great perspective. Thanks:) Hugs and love xox
Thanks for sharing! It is sad how our society is making sex cheap when it is truly sacred. Our bodies are not our own but are the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. I remember high school, being one of the few girls who were virgins. The other girls thought that we were missing out. And yet they went through horrible break ups (because sex is binding) and many ended up becoming parents…they missed out.
Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing thing. You’re right-high school was definitely a difficult time to navigate relationships. So many hormones! Haha but seriously-you’re right about our bodies being temples. Amen to that. Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox
Thanks for this lovely post. This is why I love your posts, they are sooo real and sincere.
God Bless you real goood!
Hi Dara! Aw thank you so much:) I’m glad you enjoy my posts! Sending big hugs to you friend xox
Take it from someone who waited, who has many friends who waited, it’s TOTALLY worth it! Not because it guarantees a perfect sex life in marriage or even a spouse that also waited but because God honours obedience. If self-sacrificial love is the key to a successful marriage, then you are already on the right track to having something beautiful.
Hi Sherae! Wow thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. What a beautiful love story. So inspiring. This was just what I needed to hear. Thank you. Hugs and love xox
Almost 32 and still a virgin. not saving for my future hausband – I just never had the opportunity (well I had but not with my consent).
Hi Lulu, thank you so much for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Consent is so important, and such a timely topic given everything happening in the news lately. It is critical that we instill its importance with young people. thanks for stopping by. hugs and love xox
Your virginity doesnt define who you are. You dont walk into a room full of people and say ‘hi, i’m a virgin’. Its no one elses business but yours and your future husband. I commend you for your beliefs, and hope the guy you give this once in a lifetime commodity to is in awe of it as he should be.
Hi Patc, thank you for this great perspective. You’re so right. Glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Amazing! You just spoke for people like me. I can soooo relate to this! 😀 Someone once told me virgins are like unicorns in this day and age. It’s always good to hear a fellow unicorn remain so steadfast with their decision. I respect you and I’m proud of you. This was definitely empowering! You go girl! <3
Hi Dainty! Aw, thank you so much:) It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I really appreciate the encouragement. Yay unicorns! haha 🙂 hugs and love xox
its also about respecting yourself enough to wait for someone who respects you enough to wait for marriage as God intended – you wont regret waiting but you will probably regret not waiting
Hi friend! Thank you so much for this reflection. I think you’re absolutely right. glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Wow BBB! Thanks for sharing.
Even though awkward, these conversations are very important and can avoid a lot of heartache in the future. I had gone through a similar conversation with my bf and trust me it solved many open ended questions about the future. Though he had a different opinion than mine then, a vague 50:50 opinion, by God’s grace, even he believes in the same now.
It is difficult but please do not feel sad-ish. May our Lord keep you strong always..
Loads of love & hugs
Carol
Hi Carol! Thank you so much for the encouragement! It really means a lot. That’s so awesome that you were able to have a dialogue with your bf about this topic. That’s so inspiring! Glad you stopped by! loads of love and hugs right back atcha! 🙂 xox
I married a most lovely virgin, almost 29 years ago. We are still crazily, madly in love. The wait is worth it.
Hi Pete! Aw, thank you so much for this encouragement! What a beautiful love story. So inspiring. Hugs and love xox
You are so welcome and I will do everything in my power to encourage others.
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YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!
What an awesome post!! I pray every day for my own kids to have this understanding of what relationships are and what sex actually means.
It’s WONDERFUL! You have NOTHING to be ashamed about, in fact, you should be PROUD!
Aw, thank you so much 🙂 Gosh, I so appreciate your enthusiastic encouragement! 🙂 🙂 🙂 hehe but seriously, your kindness is so appreciated. Hugs and love xox
This is beautiful, BBB. Absolutely beautiful.
I salute your strength.
Thank you so much Queen Oset. 🙂 I really appreciate your kindness. It means the world. Hugs and love xox
You, young lady are woven of strong moral fibers. Your parents are to be commended and your husband will be blessed indeed! 😊
Aw, thank you Pepper! Gosh that is so kind of you to say:) Sending big hugs and love xox
I adore this, and you are correct, it IS about giving, and your husband to be will be forever grateful, hold and keep your V card close to your chest, here in the UK we have an advertisement for a chocolate called ROLO, and the punchline is “do you love someone enough to give them your last ROLO ?!”
Your V is like that ROLO ….
Thankyou for sharing this post
Take care
Regards
Paul
Hi Paul, thank you for this great encouragement. Oh my gosh that’s funny about the ROLO! But so true! That’s true love. That’s what love should be. So glad you stopped by! Sending hugs and love xox
PS- craving chocolate now! haha
Hahaha! That’s a good one!
Reblogged this on Pastor Jim Driskell.
Hi Jim! Thank you so much for the reblog! it really means a lot. hugs and love xox
Glad to, it’s a really great witness to a life of faithfulness and integrity. You’re doing great may God continue to richly bless you.
❤️❤️❤️thanks again
And thank you for your like.
Yes definitely! I look forward to reading more from you:)
I used to be in the exact same position as you, the difference was, I lied when asked about it. I was confident, flirty, but terrified when questions like that came up. And that is my only regret!!
I don’t regret waiting. I married (at 32 I might add) and gave myself completely to my husband, who had also waited, thanks be to God. I don’t think I missed out on anything, I KNOW that we were meant to be together and I am certain your future husband is not only out there, but waiting too. Waiting for the love of his life. Waiting for someone who respects herself enough to say ‘no’ and for someone who is already putting him before herself.
I applaud you!!
I wish I had spoken up before I was married. I wish I had not been embarrassed or ashamed. And if my words mean anything, I truly hope that you continue to speak about this! Be proud, you should be. And keep up the good work. 🙂 god bless you. Xxx
Hi Cat, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. Your words absolutely touched my heart and were so uplifting. What a beautiful love story you and your husband have. So inspiring. I really appreciate you sharing. Sending big hugs and love xox
Love your honesty BBB, you are a real leader for those who may be wavering in their faith. Your knight in shining armor is out there, but maybe its time to check out where the ones with the qualities you want hang out. New York’s social scene doesn’t seem very promising. God Bless.
Hi Nanny, thank you so much for your kind word. I so appreciate the encouragement. I think you’re right – I’ve gotta start hanging out where the knights are hanging out — which, unfortunately, I don’t think is at a bar at 4am lol You’ve given me much to think about! Thank you thank you thank you! hugs and love xox
Wow, learning something new about you every time ☺ For a woman there’s a lot of trust involved in opening up to a man physically. Women get so much energy and liveliness from sex that I hope you will have that in your life. All the best
Hi friend, thank you so much for this reflection. You’re right – it’s a huge vulnerability. I look forward to sharing that with my husband one day 🙂 Glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Thanks for sharing. You are very brave.
Thanks Richard, that really means a lot. Hope your week is off to a great start! hugs and love xox
I really admire how totally in tune you are with yourself. How this decision is about nothing but you and your own mind and your own body and your own faith. What a gift to yourself x
Thank you so much Nelly. I really appreciate your encouragement. It means the world. Glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
I love Lennart’s comment! You certainly deserve all the Bs! You’ve made yourself vulnerable here and I’m sure this will have encouraged many other young ladies who have decided, like you, that this is a gift they want to give their husband. Your mother taught you well – all relationships are more about giving than taking and marriage in particular. Kudos to you both! And, of course, God bless you! 🙂
Hi Stephen! Haha yeah that was certainly clever with the B’s! haha Seriously though, thank you for this kind encouragement. Your words have touched my spirit. thank you. hugs and love xox
You are so not dumb, not ugly and never alone. Never let others dictate your life to you – you are a blessing!
Thank you so much! Aw, that means so much. I really appreciate your kind and affirming words. You are a blessing to me! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Beautiful. 🙂
Thanks Gail. So glad you enjoyed it. Have a great Tuesday! hugs and love xox
You are God’s special one. How awesome you are.
Hi Israel, wow, thank you for this encouragement. It really means a lot. Hugs and love to you xox
your future hubby, will be blessed
Hi Bill! 🙂 thanks for this. so glad you stopped by. happy tuesday! hugs and love xox
It’s wonderful what you are doing. It just doesn’t seem to matter much anymore in the world we live in. I know God will bless you for your courage and strength. I know that I do not regret waiting.
Thank you friend. I really appreciate your encouragement. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. hugs and love to you xox
BBB, I think it is amazing that you have chosen to take that stance. It is a true testament to where your devotion and heart is. I was in the same mindset with my first wife. I prided myself on being a virgin when I got married. I do truly wish I could have saved that honor for my current wife, because she is definitely worth it(so was the first one); but as maturity sets in, we realize how much more of an honor and a privilege our relationships are. Thank you!
Hi David, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. You’re so right, relationships are a privilege! Thanks for sharing your heart 🙂 sending big hugs xox
Thank you for being so transparent in a society that is often fake. People need to hear these testimonies. First of all, you are who God designed you to be and that is awesome. I always share your posts with the ladies at the mission and this one is special.
Hey friend! Wow, I am so touched by your encouragement. God is good, and I do trust in His perfect timing and good plan for my life — which includes my love life! haha And gosh, thank you for sharing my posts with your ladies.I am honored. I will definitely keep you and your ministry in my prayers. Sending big hugs!
Wow that is beautiful – what a wonderful story
Rioma Cominelli
Cell phone
Hi Rioma, thank you so much for this kind reflection. I really appreciate it. hugs and love xox
AWESOMENESS!!!!
Hi Lionel! haha thank you so much!! I love the enthusiasm! 🙂 hehe glad you stopped by. hugs xox
Please be in prayer regarding a tremendous opportunity God has given me. I received an invitation to be the guest speaker at a convention being held in August at the Victory Church of Chepstow UK Wales. This will be my first international preaching event…so this is new territory for me. God truly is the above and beyond God!
Wow that’s so awesome!!!! Definitely will be praying!
Thank you!
❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️
I heard a statistic that Millenials, unlike your GenX counterparts are actually less into the casual sex and more into either waiting until marriage or a committed relationship, if that even. I think you are not as alone as you think you are. Somehow this makes me think of -and definitely is not the same thing as – having a mental illness and all the taboo about whether or not to bring it up to others because you don’t want them to think you’re weird or unlovable.
Hang in there. It is entirely possible, people really do still do this today. What I’m most impressed with by your story here is that you had the courage to have a conversation about it for an extended length of time with someone you care about. It is hard to have those conversations. Good work.
Hi Leena, thank you so much for this reflection. I just read that statistic too! Which is really encouraging. I really appreciate your affirming words – you’re right, that convo was difficult, but he is a really great guy. I trust him a lot. And it actually was really revealing that I felt safe enough to confide that in him. Definitely makes me think about what that means….haha So glad you stopped by. sending hugs and love xox
I know exactly how you are feeling as I have felt that way before also. But I promise you the wait is worth it. And you will look back someday and be so thankful that you stuck it out, and you’re husband will consider it a huge gift. Be proud of yourself ☺️
Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for this encouragement. I hope he does! 🙂 hehe so glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
I love this. This truly shows your inner beauty and strength. The waiting is worth it because after you make the commitment to your husband, you can enjoy all the pleasures that come with it as God intended.
Hi Ruby, thank you so much for this encouragement. Oh, that will be the day! hahah oh gosh *covers face and laughs* Seriously though, thanks for the uplifting words. Hugs and love to you xox
Hugs! You have us to support you in your journey 🙂
❤️❤️❤️I know! I have been absolutely blown away by the support and encouragement. So very grateful xx
I think you are very brave! Don’t ever feel alone, for even a candle in the dark is been seen from far away! You shine like a bonfire to me! ☺
Have a warm heartfelt greeting
Hi Chojin, wow what a kind thing to say! Thank you friend! have a great day! hugs and love xox
So great! I waited until marriage and my husband waited as well. Our relationship was built on more than physical affection and what we get out of it. I was so excited when I read this study this past week that found marriages where the bride is a virgin rarely end in divorce. You are setting yourself up for success! Good for you!!
Thank you so much for sharing this! What a beautiful love story that you and your husband have. so inspiring! thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
First of all, right on for still having your virginity.
Secondly, too many people lose theirs to the wrong person. Sure, these days, I’ve heard of people as old as 9 losing their virginity and giving birth at eleven.
What is wrong with society?
Thirdly, you should be proud of being strong and courageous to come forth about this.
I wish I would’ve waited for my husband…. but teenage years and such.
Hugs!
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing this. I know — 9 years old. That’s crazy! I really appreciate your encouragement. It means the world. have a beautiful week! hugs and love xox
It is good that you wait. So many single mothers because they thought they found the one and gave it up too early. But it does not necessarily mean you must wait until marriage. If you have a male friend that you love and care for like a best friend; and know you both will not feel awkward about after, then give it a shot. Any good man will love you regardless of whether you are a virgin or not. I am 38 now. Been in several relationships in my time and never once encountered a virgin. I did not love them any less for it. Keep your convictions though. It is a wise move. Finish school, become successful, and then consider it.
Hi David, thank you so much for this encouragement. I really appreciate this perspective. So glad you stopped by! hope your week is off to a great start! hugs and love xox
It’s always good. I am an American Veteran living in paradise.
❤️❤️❤️thank you for your service to this country. Truly. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You sacrificed a lot for our freedom and it appreciated more than words can express. ❤️❤️❤️
I thank those who support us…
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Love this post! Thanks for sharing and such an inspirational post for my daughter one day!
Thanks Melissa! So glad you enjoyed it! Hope you’re having a great day! hugs and love to you and your daughter 🙂
Hey there sweetheart, you have become one of my top 5 Heroes along with Mother Teresa & Joni Eareckson-Tada. You are an excellent writer & a woman more precious than rubies. God is pouring out the storehouses of heaven on you & you will not be able to contain it. Thank you for your generosity & courage in sharing your soul. I love you as one of my own children. Judy
Hi Judy! Wow wow wow I am so humbled and touched by your kind words. Thank you. I cannot tell you how much your love and support means to mean. You are a blessing to me. hugs and lots of love xox
What a lovely thing to say and such an honour! This has moved me to tears.
Thank you for sharing. I felt like I was reading my own diary entry. When people find out I am waiting for marriage (also VERY single) they do not understand and it leads me to feel like I did something wrong, that I am stupid and unwanted. It does not help that family and friends are constantly trying to get me to go on dates with non-Christians and “get it over with.” Not my cup of tea but it makes me feel better there are others that get it!
Hi friend! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s nice to know i am not alone. 🙂 Hang in there friend. Our future husbands are out there and it will all be worth it! hugs and love xox
I really appreciated you sharing your vulnerability. I agree: it’s not about what you get from others; it’s what you give. Your virginity it like a gold ribbon that gift wraps your spirit until you give it all to your lover, and he unties and unites his spirit with yours and God’s. Blessings.
Hi friend, thank you so much for this encouragement. What a powerful image. i love that. thanks for sharing. hugs and love xox
Hi, there! I have nominated you for the The Quote Challenge. For more details, check out my latest post. Happy Blogging!
Thank you so much for the nomination! It really means a lot. Hope you’re having a great weekend! hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing your testimony which will encourage others to wait. May God give you the strength to continue to walk with Him.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. God is good! sending hugs and love xox
I admire what you have written, and it’s a fight I’m fighting on behalf of my 3 daughters even today. Just remember… “…but God…shows His love for in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”(Romans 5:8 ESV) Continue to live your Godward life Beebs…look forward and up, and hold the course. You are pleasing to your Heavenly Father. Des
Hi Des, thank you so much for this encouragement. And I absolutely love that verse. it is so powerful. God is so good and loves us immensely — baggage and all. Have a beautiful day! hugs xox
You too…
❤️❤️❤️
Your humour is fantastic. I really enjoy your blogs!
Aw thanks Jane! So glad you enjoy my posts! Hugs to you friend xox
BBB, I love that you can be very transparent about something very personal! The fact that you stand for something so firmly and out of love shows what a beautiful heart you have. I, too, saved myself for my husband and it was a choice I’m so glad I made. I never had to regret a night because I made a poor choice.I was young and loved to flirt and look pretty too. I just knew God had something waiting for me, and I wanted to wait for him. You are making a beautiful choice. You are beautiful inside and it surely shows outside too!
Hi Samantha! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. What a beautiful testimony you have for true love. Thanks for sharing. Sending big hugs and love xox
A beautiful gift. I imagine that the man you choose, and who chooses you, will not be in doubt of the wonderful nature of the gift you give him. And what a privilege to be able to offer that.
I think that, despite feeling naked in sharing that truth, your honesty may have paved the way for deeper reflection for your friend, which is one of the blessings of frank exchange with those we trust. May you be encouraged and blessed through your conversation and post here!
Ruth x
Hi Ruth, thank you so much for this kind response. I hope so – he’s a really good guy and good friend. So glad you stopped by. I appreciate your encouragement. Hugs and love xox
I loved reading this. Stay strong girl. Your virginity is a precious gift, and it’s something that one could easily give away… but you can never get it back. Your future husband will be grateful that you waited and more importantly God sees your patience and your faithfulness. Honestly, I did not wait, and I wish I could have the patience. I admire your patience!
Hi Jess, thank you so much for this kind reflection. I really appreciate the encouragement. Sending you so much love and hugs my friend xox
I definitely agree with you on the fact that your virginity is a gift to be treasured and ultimately to be proud of. The society, curiosity, and peer pressure have made many do away with their virginity but it’s truly something not to be ashamed of but to be celebrated. Lastly, rest assured your future husband would defo appreciate IT!
Hi Fola, thank you for this encouragement. You’re right, society dictates one thing as the norm, but I’ve got to keep my eyes focused. Thanks for your kindness! hugs and love xox
You are brave, and you have a very wise mother! I think you’ll find a wonderful man who will be so honored by what you’ve done for him. He will be a very blessed man!
Just stay strong, as others have said. Character is more precious than beauty, but having both is even better. 🙂 I would be so proud of you if you were my daughter. And, even if you failed in this conviction, I would still be proud of you!
Blessings.
Hey there Mel! Thank you so much – I would have to agree–my mama is one special lady 🙂 hehe Thank you so much for your kind words. It means the world. Truly. hugs and love xox
I was in the Marines and was clowned at a lot for the V word. I think moments like these made me realize that I’m not a virgin just for myself, my wife or a testimony before others. It is out of loving obedience before God since He loved me so much, He saved me from my sins.
Hi Jim, thank you so much for this reflection. Amen to that – God HAS saved us from our sins. What an amazing gift that is. And thank you for your service to our country. Very grateful for the selfless men and women like you! hugs and love xox
Amen to that!
Excellent; the writing, the thoughts, and most of all the commitment. I wish I was 100 years younger and could meet a girl like you. But, alas, I’m out of the dating scene. LOL Seriously, you must meet Tim Tebow. A star athlete at Florida U, a struggling pro player and now a man on a mission for Jesus. He ‘outed’ himself as a virgin and suffered immense scorn and ridicule. The man will always be one of my heroes…..maybe I could introduce you to him someday.
Hi Larry! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot. And oh my gosh can we please make that happen with Tim Tebow?!! I mean, seriously. 😍😎 haha but for real I have a lot of respect for him. Thanks again for stopping by and for your kind words! Hugs and love xox
I’ll give Tim a call. Thanks for the read and the comment.
Haha 👍👍👍
I loved this post about your virginity. Not a lot of anyone talks about how important it is to wait. At first, I thought you gave up but as I kept reading I was glad that you didn’t. I was raised to believe in God and staying a virgin until marriage. All those values and morals kept me from really toxic relationships. Trust me when I say it will pay off in the end.
Staying focused and keeping my standards and self-worth in a healthy place allowed me to fall in love with my husband of 3 years (who was also a virgin). So I know it may feel lame chilling in the “virgin section” sometimes because you have to deal with the judgmental looks and glares. But, I’ve had girls come up to me asking me how I managed to wait until marriage, how confident i was and how they wanted to do it too. Though they don’t want to admit, some people regret having sex before they were ready or marriage because it caused them a lot of pain.
Your husband will appreciate the sacrifice and love you are implementing because it will strengthen your marriage. And your parents were right, I’ve been married for 3 years and it’s not about what you get but how you give. When you pour love, support, honesty, and faith into your spouse you get it back in return. Keep writing and be proud of being a virgin. If you got to wear it on a tee shirt or hat, go right ahead. There is nothing to be ashamed of. But, when you DO get married and have sex….well enjoy! lol
Hahah oh mygosh thank you for such a beautiful and uplifting comment! Wow I am blown away by your heart. What a beautiful love story you and your husband have. So so inspiring. Thanks for being you. You’re a blessing! Hugs and love xox
ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!!! I’m 32, love Jesus, and thank the Lord I have been able to save myself for my husband. I know EXACTLY how you feel and have had the same PJ wearing, tear filled moments of alone. Today my heart is strong! And as I read, so is yours! At least much more than you realize. Thank you for standing with me and reminding me WHY – for God’s glory and the joy of GIVING to my future husband in love and purity. If this makes us dweebs – then I happily join you in this dweebness!
Hi AnnieMae! Aw Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone, so thank you for sharing your heart. Amen to that! Glad to stand with you!! Hugs and love xox
You’ve made a good point in your courageous confession. From where I stand I also see another point: in remaining sexually pure while waiting for marriage you are honoring God. I was a virgin when I first married, and while I didn’t understand from the perspective I now see, I refrained from that deepest form of sexual intimacy (prior to marriage) because I knew it was what God commanded. Granted there was not as much pressure and social stigma on me as there is now, yet the bottom line remains the same–God had and still has very good reason for his commandment and it is completely for our protection: physical, emotional and psychological. The longer I live and the more wisdom and perspective I gain from life experiences, the more I recognize the heartbreak and damage that comes from violating that ever so protective commandment. Pastor Timothy Keller (there in New York) gave a sermon about a year ago, titled Love and Lust. I heard it on YouTube, thought it excellent, and promptly shared it with my young adult kids. (I have a son your age). He defines it beautifully. Have confidence in your decision–I have every confidence the blessings will be yours (ultimately) as you stay true to your conviction. In the world today sexual purity is not well understood, or embraced, but we who love God live to please God, not mankind. The latter will let us down, but God remains true–always and forever.
Hi there friend! Wow what an encouraging and kind reflection. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It brings me great hope:) and that sounds like an awesome sermon! I’ll definitely look it up on YouTube! Thanks again for stopping by! God is good! Hugs and love xox
God blesses your honesty, witness and encouragement particularly in these days when the topic of ‘a woman saving herself for her husband’ would only appear in “God’s mainstream media.” Clearly God has planted the seed of His morality in your soul, which your parents nurtured and now you are pruning it as you yourself bloom. I know how challenging it can be to follow this path – many times temptations are put in front of us. God enabled me to retain this gift for my wife alone and now after, 23 years of married life I do not regret that decision. However, I have absolutely no doubt I could not have seen this through without God’s encouragement, guidance and working in mysterious ways to lead me away from temptations through the youthful exuberant years. Always continue to be yourself and be “who” God made “you” to be. God bless.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot. Wow, what an inspiring love story. 23 years–that is so beautiful. thank you for sharing that. God is good! hugs and love to you friend xox
Bravo. There’s a unique kind of courage that stands firm and steadfast in right when the whole world screams that wrong will get you by. Hold fast, you husband will adore you for it.
Hi Tiffany! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot. Hope your week is off to a great start. Hugs and love xox
Awesome!!!!! Its amazing people still have values and morals and stick to them! Your virginity is something you should be TREMENDOUSLY proud of.
Thanks friend! Aw I so appreciate your support and kind words. Sending you big big hugs xox
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably. At the end of the day, those of us who follow Jesus and HAVEN’T lived with sexual integrity have a lot of baggage and regrets. Satan convinces us we SHOULD do things and if you mess up, he then switches sides and condemns, makes people feel guilty, and tells them no one will love them because they are tainted. Funny how it all works right? Kudos to living your life with sexual integrity.
Hi Jennifer! Thank you so much for your support. You’re right-he comes to steal and destroy. Thankfully there is freedom and love and mercy and life in Jesus. And He will take our baggage from us so we don’t have to carry it around! God is good! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
I’m glad you were brave enough to have that conversation with your guy friend. If he really is a true friend, it won’t make any difference to him that you’re still a virgin. Congrats, by the way. Oh, and that part about what if your future husband doesn’t appreciate your gift? Uh…then he won’t be your future husband! The problem sort of solves itself. Doesn’t it? All the best.
Hi Lisa! Thank you so much for this encouragement. Haha you’re right-it does solve itself:) I really appreciate your kindness and support. Sending you hugs and Love xox
This is so refreshing to read! You are definitely not alone. Thank God that you are a shinning light in this generation. I love that you are not doing this as way to “get back”. I think in addition to your response, you are doing this in obedience to God, living out life as a living sacrifice…”because it’s your reasonable service”. As for whether you get a guy that’s similar, we know that anthem don’t we “all have sinned…” But God is gracious and whether or not the guy you spend the rest of ur life has used that V-card or not, your father in heaven will be pleased that you have loved and honoured Him first and foremost. Keep that Purity card going Hun. You’re definitely not alone. 🙂 xx
Hi Gem! Aw thank you so much for the encouragement! It’s so nice to known I’m not alone. You’re right-God is SO gracious. I will trust Him. Thanks again for stoping by. Hugs and love xox
This is nice.. Kind of reminded me of how I am before I lost mine.. We share the same insight about Relationship and Sex, and too bad I was pressured of what I could be loosing of not trying it. I ended up breaking myself becs of it. Its not that I regret it, I actually enjoyed it. But it was just not me. I tried to be someone else, but I realized that the time I let other people’s judgement decide for me was the thing I regret about. I envy you. Just keep the faith. You future husband wont question you, he would appreciate you even more by doing this… God bless
Hi there Liezel! Thank you so much for this reflection and encouragement. You have such great perspective and wisdom. I so appreciate you sharing that:) sending you a big big hug xox
“Good on ya!” (I love that phrase — kinda quirky)
Who cares what others think anyway. 🙂
Hi Daiverson! Haha I like that phrase too! Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
AWW I’m sure when its time, your future husband will appreciate that very much…
Hi friend! Aw thank you so much for the encouragement. It means the world. I sure hope so. Hugs and love xox
BBB, I understand far better than I’d like. Sex is a crazy powerful thing, and I applaud you for your willingness to be honest in a culture that says it’s no big deal, that virginity is somehow shameful.
And I applaud you ONE THOUSAND TIMES MORE for getting up the next day in celebration that protecting and valuing your sexuality doesn’t make you ugly, old, or unworthy. So much agreement that your virginity *is not* dumb. You do you, because you best know your own body and choices.
(Hope the pancakes were awesome.)
Hey there Christiana, thank you so much for this. Dang, such uplifting words. I so appreciate it:) and heck yes! The pancakes were aweeeesome😛 haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
I like how you fought back all the wrong thoughts you got, with the word of God. I’m sure you didn’t just think the positive thoughts, you said them aloud to your hearing.
That’s a great lesson: you don’t fight negative thoughts with thoughts, you fight them with positive confessions from the Word of God.
Hi Zoe, thanks for this. You’re so right, my thoughts on my own couldn’t combat the negative–I had to rely on the Big Guy. 🙂 So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
I totally understand. I am also a virgin by choice, and I have literally been told I will never find someone if I go too slowly in physically intimate relationships. Growing up, I felt a lot of shame over the fact that I chose to wait until I fell in love and trusted the other person, because society tells you that if you have not achieved a kiss/making out/sex by a certain period in your life, you are a loser. I’m just beginning to overcome that.
So this post really spoke to me. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing this. So glad it resonated with you. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂 sending a big hugs to you! You do you! ❤️❤️❤️Hugs and love xox
Wow I respect a person who knows there own worth and can resist the urges of this world u will make someone a great wife one day
Thank you so much Ben. That really means a lot:) have a great day! Hugs and love xox
That’s okay I’m glad it means a lot your a revolutionary lady, and you write so well your a very passionate person I can tell that from how you write. Much love and hugs in return xx
❤️❤️❤️thanks again xx
BBB, I have said it before, you are so beautiful sharing you. There is one fortunate man of God being prepared for you. As a man struggling in a marriage of 42 years, it is important for me to take to heart the message you proclaim and the conviction to God’s truth you hold. Your story and words bless my life. Thank you!
Hi Mike, thanks again for being such a consistent source of encouragement and kindness. It means the world. 42 years-wow that is so awesome. Hugs and love xox
Hey! I’m waiting for marriage too! Sometimes the media makes me feel kind of stupid about it too, but I know in the end it’ll be well worth it. 😊
Hi there Issie! Thanks so much for your encouragement and for sharing your heart! it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Amen to that – it will so be worth it! hugs and love to you friend xox
Thank you for sharing. For being open and vulnerable. I pray that God blesses you daily for your love and faith. You are a light to the world.
Hi Alex! thank you so much for this encouragement. your kindness really means a lot. hugs and love to you friend xox
Sleeping around GREATLY increases the risk of divorce. I leave this as an encouragement to you:
1) The chance of finding yourself divorced after five years is presently 560 percent greater if you marry a woman with 10+ partners than if you marry a virgin.
2) The second-greatest risk is marrying a woman with only 2 partners.
Details of the study: http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
Hi friend! This is so interesting. Thank you for sharing those stats. Isn’t that correlation interesting?? Have a great day! Hugs and love xox
I should also say that Elisabeth Eliot’s book Passion and Purity was a huge encouragement to me when I faced similar struggles. Even though some portray her relationship advice as “extreme,” life experience has taught me that Eliot was exactly right. I caused myself and others a great deal of pain by ignoring her.
Oh thanks for the recco! I’ll definitely check out her book! Thanks again for reading xox
I was in the middle of oosting an epic comment earlier and then reciieved a call. Grr “that moment when someone kills your text.”
Haha aw I’m sorry about that! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
It as something along the lines of …some beat yourself up… I wish I was still a virgin and had waited for the right one. I commend you for making that chikc and staying true to it. Trist me… that guy was insinuating you need to lractive with him… bs…. you’ll meet the right one and when you do…. it’ll be amazing… the difference between good sex and bad sex is always in the connection. Not the …talent. smh. Be proud. Your officially my idol for your choice.
Aw thank you again Rareity. I so appreciate your encouragement. You always have such kind words for me–it means the world. Grateful for you. Hugs and love xox
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Sad thing is… there are women out there in this world I
who didn’t get a choice, because they were raped. Virginity is the truest virtue we have.
I know it is so sad. It breaks my heart that there are women out there who have that stolen from them without consent. We are all precious and for someone not to cherish that fact and violate them makes my heart hurt.
For sure. 😟😞
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Take pride in it. Don’t let some guy name you feel lesser because of it. To me you are powerful. A girl who hold into her virtue and turns down every mediocre guy out there is one to reckon with
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I am sure that your future husband will appreciate what you have done for him even if he cannot offer the same gift in return. Don’t ever feel less-than for standing strong in your beliefs! xoxo
aw thank you so much for this kind encouragement. it really means a lot. i think you’re right 🙂 sending big hugs! xox
It is so funny what people think and what it makes us think. I was a virgin when I got married. I saved myself as few do, and by now I’m sure it is worse. Did it make a difference after I got married. It sure did. Was the one I married a virgin? No she wasn’t. All these things are thrown into situations.
If a guy really respects you and is respectable, he’s gonna be totally amaze-balls about you still being a virgin. I was hoping my wife would be. But when I got the full story I understood.
My marriage has lasted longer than any of my parents or siblings. They were samplers. It seems like if you cannot appreciate what it takes to come into the relationship in a saved fashion, the difficulties that will surely hit later on will be easily converted to scrapping the relationship as well.
Just a few thoughts.
Continue to be your fabulous self. 🙂
Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this and for the encouragement. What a beautiful story of love you and your wife have. So inspiring. Thanks again for being so positive and kind. Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love to you beauty. <3
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Awesome post, fun to read and so true…. Beautiful piece
Aw thank you so Much Shepher:) I really appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
Wonderful post Ana. And I pray that my oldest son will meet someone like you!
Blessings
Jim
Hi Jim! Aw that’s kind of you to say. Thank you:) haha is he single?? 😉😉😉jk jk jk thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Yes, he is single! 😊
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I waited until I was married & even though it wasn’t easy… it is worth it! Relationships are so self centered now and days… it’s refreshing to see someone who understands that marriage is about giving, not getting! Praying God blesses you with a great man!
Hi damaris! Thank you so much for sharing this. What an inspiration! I appreciate the prayers:) Hugs and love xox
It’s so strange that people feel this is somehow their business to discuss… I remember having those conversations with people, and it was always so awkward for me. (I always wanted to do something ‘bad girlish’ after to prove that I wasn’t a goody-goody). 😉
Personally, I am SO glad that I waited. I know that not everyone out there gets that. And I know that whenever people asked me about it, they always felt as though I was judging them for not waiting. I wasn’t, and I still don’t. It’s a decision I made based on my faith, and – to this day – I am glad that I did it.
But still, I remember those awkward conversations very well. I feel your pain!
But YOU GO, GIRL! 🙂 Keep your chin up and feel proud. Your decision is not an easy one, but it is a good one!!
Hi there Nicole, thank you for this reflection. you’re right -I feel the same way! I don’t judge anyone who has chosen differently, this is just my personal choice. But I really appreciate your encouraging and kind words. It’s nice to know that there’s someone else out there who “gets it.” hugs and love xox
Oh, honey. Don’t you EVER let anyone make you feel unwanted or unworthy because you’re virtuous! Read what the saints had to say about virginity–it’s very inspiring! Virginity is not just a negative “lack of experience,” it’s a positive, beautiful attribute of the soul.
Oh, and by the way, you’re totally driving the devil CRAZY, so keep it up! 🙂
Hi there Rose, thank you so much for this encouragement. I love your perspective on it being a positive thing instead of a negative. I’ve never thought about it that way before. so thank you 🙂 yeah let’s stick it to him 🙂 sending hugs and love xox
I wanted to do the same. But I didn’t, I lost it to someone who I thought I’d get married to, but he broke up with me just before. That’s when I learnt the difference between husband and almost-husband-boyfriend. I think what you’re doing is awesome, not for your future husband, but for you. I think it’s super empowering to be a virgin. But also, I believe it’s all in our minds…
Hi there friend, thank you so much for sharing this. I so appreciate your encouragement. I’m sorry things didn’t end up the way you were hoping with that guy. That just means that there’s someone else out there for you that’s better. Perhaps you’ve already found him 🙂 Thanks again for your kindness. hugs and love xox
Thank you ☺ we’ll see 😂
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B.B.B. = “B-ravo! B-ravo! B-ravo!” Standing up for morality and virtue is often a lonely place to be…until you realize that there are those who are standing behind you…with you.
I once read a quote that said: It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being “naked”.(Rob Bell) You are right, Lovely One, to preserve yourself, your purity, your dignity, your virtue, your light. And when light is not kept under a bushel but upon a candlestick…it is truly exposed. That’s the nature of light.
The intimacy reserved for marriage has been hijacked by those who want the “benefits” of marriage without the commitment and responsibility of marriage. Such attitude is selfishness…not selflessness. Sleeping around and premarital sex has the form of marriage (uncommitted sex, self-centered physical pleasure, with a partner) but denies the power thereof (enduring commitment, loyalty, purity, love unfeigned, joy, happiness, with a companion). The former lacks the true heart of the person; the latter enjoys both hearts…given willingly…embraced….protected. And the young man who respects that will also want to preserve you for the best part of marriage, no questions asked.
You are right. You are beautiful. And I ain’t just sayin’ that. Remember, a daughter of God…the daughter of a Heavenly King…a King that is glorious, beautiful, majestic, pristine, clean, and pure. That, too, young lady,…is you.
Wow, what a beautiful comment. Thank you so much for this wonderful and kind encouragement. I can’t begin to express how much your words have touched my heart, so thank you. I love that quote. amen to that – bearing your soul and being emotionally vulnerable — that’s the scary part! glad you stopped by! hugs and love xox
Virginity shouldn’t be a curse but a blessing, because you’ve left it for the one God chooses and don’t think God doesn’t know your heart? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says:_ Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; 5 love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; 6 love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.8 Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. So my love, if you don’t have this kind of love then it’s not worth it. God will provide, let your desires be known to God and He will grant you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4…I have been married for 33 years and I’ve tried to instill just that to my daughters.Don’t be afraid to ask big because God is the God of impossibilities who make things possible. God bless.
Hi friend, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. I absolutely love those verses. Thanks for sharing. And I love that-don’t be afraid to ask big! Amen! Hugs and love xox
You are correct that relationships are about giving (or I would say, sharing). If we affiliate with other people because of what we get, then the relationship is contingent on that getting. And, ultimately the sex-giving-getting thing diminishes, whether because of other interests, child-rearing interruptions, menopause, or cardio-vascular decline. My wife and I are in the interesting positioning of observing our nearly-60 year-old friends, who have marriages that ended, going through the Dating-in-Your-Later-Years phenomenon. We are saddened that so many folks out there are mostly looking at getting-it-on-while-I-can. So many heartaches because they have forgotten, or never learned, to give in relationships.
Or, as Larry Norman sang back in the 70’s “Gonorrhea on Valentines Day, If you’re still looking for the perfect lay.” (FYI, if you are not familiar with Larry Norman, he began the Jesus Movement Christian Rock era, and this line came from a song, “Why Don’t You Look Into Jesus”, which he wrote to Janis Joplin while his band People was her opening act.)
Hi friend, thanks for sharing this. You’re right-it really is a crazy phenomenon happening in the culture these days. And I’ve never heard that song before but it sounds pretty wild! Haha definitely going to YouTube it! Hugs and love xox
Magnificently described ! You are an excellent writer and this rang of truth
Hi there friend, wow thank you so much for this kind and encouraging note. Sending you big big hugs xox
I’m not sure I’ve ever read a comments section so jam packed with supportive views, nevertheless, I’m thinking to avoid whatever anybody else has said and just add my thoughts ever so briefly. This isn’t a topic I express myself on much, however, I’ve shared this fact with many people, a great amount of sex, especially sex here in the UK and Stateside, is unloving, to go even further, it’s abuse in many cases, not just abuse of the partner, but abuse of ourselves. “Of those boys, did you ever love any of them for their own sake?” Was I believe a hypothetical question asked to Oscar Wilde, a man notorious for his sexual exploitation of the impoverished young men around him, he replied “No.”, as you’d expect. He physically “loved” men for himself, that’s all. Sex, no matter the orientation or gender, is about possessing something of the other person, indulging in them in some fashion, and it can be as rotten as it can be wonderful. Anyways, I enjoyed the article, hopefully young people feeling pressured into doing something they’ll later regret, or even people who already have done something, will find hope, healing and real love in your words. Good going, we’re often hurting, but not hurting alone. 🙂
Hi friend, thank you so much for this reflection! You’re right! I have been so blown away by the wonderful support and encouragement in the comment section! So thank you for that! How interesting about Oscar Wilde. I did not know that about him! sad. I really appreciate your nudge of encouraging and kind words. Sending big hugs xox
Thanks for writing such a vulnerable post! There are many gifts that come with virginity (clean body, clean conscience, and clean soul). There are many things people find weird about Christians because it is counter cultural to believe in God and follow His desires (not ours). God loves and approves of you more than you can fathom so you can go home smiling after conversations like that. Pray that God will show your friend the light of His truth through you. 😀 you’re doing a great job. Keep pressing forward knowing that God is with you, He loves you, and in turn, you can love others.
Hi Meagan, thank you so much for your support and kindness! What a beautiful love the Father has for us. Thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
Honesty is a beautiful thing to read and witness. Being true to your values and your beliefs is a path few follow. Peer pressure interferes in many lives. Life is difficult, especially if you are willing to stand up for your beliefs in defiance to what those around you believe. I understand what it means to feel isolated from society. For me, it was never worth the trade off to sacrifice my character, ethics and moral for greater acceptance. There is no right or wrong; their is only what your heart tells you.
Thank you so much Jonathan. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Have a beautiful day! hugs and love xox
Thank you for this. Thank you sharing your story. I will be sharing this with my daughters, and the importance of not just holding onto the “V Card”, but to honor our Creator who created us
Hi friend, thank you so much for this kind note. I’m honored that you would share it with your daughters. sending hugs and love to you and your girls xox
Amen and well said!
Its very hard these days not to feel looked down on for being a virgin no matter how old you are & I personally encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing.
Stay the way you are even when people may make you feel uncomfortable about it—intentionally or not. Staying a virgin till marriage is a wonderful thing I sometime wish more people understood.
I once has a cousin tell me she had to try her “goods out” before she bought them—aka enjoying the bliss of sex before she and her husband got married.
I’ve been told many times similar comments and even looked at like a crazy person for still being a virgin into my 20’s (telling on myself here), but not to many think about the consideration or even how romantic (if you want to get mushy) it can be to marry someone who saved them self just for you.
And only you.
Not to say there’s not any temptation or desire for it. Desire in itself isn’t horrible at all. Sex is a great thing when it’s in the right context where it should be—between a married husband and wife.
I was a virgin when i married my husband of almost 4 years so far. And so was he. And believe me there were many times when we ourselves looked down on our own virginity and even (just imagine) argued with God how long He would make us wait for something we so desired. But sex is just one part of a relationship of that depth. Don’t get me wrong I’m not making it something smaller than it really is.
Its a BIG deal in a marriage.
It leaves you vulnerable—even more so than just talking about it when some one asks. It leaves you vulnerable and completely exposed to the one person who has promised to love you “till death do you part”. Its scary. But its also beautiful. I remember feeling that vulnerability (and still do sometimes) on our honey moon when we spoke about those kind of things. intimate things we had never shared with anyone else. It was weird. And awkward. And yet strangely beautiful all at the same time.
I remember my husband telling me how sad it was one thing he was told about his vcard was that how would he know what to do when the time came to give it to his wife. He gave a similar response to what I remember a teacher saying: “I think we’ll figure it out.” And I think we have for the most part.
But so will you.
Value your vcard past the modern stero types. It’s a precious thing.
I know your friend asked “what if he doesn’t appreciate what you’re doing?” But I say he would. Deep down inside he would be very flattered that you have saved yourself for someone just like him (and only him) whoever he maybe, or where ever he may be—maybe even really really impressed. You valued the gift you had to give him (as it is a gift and meant to be) even though it was hard and left you feeling awkward and even alone. But you’re not alone 🙂
You will get there, when the time is right. Your desire is a good one. Don’t feel guilty about it or ashamed. Don’t let people pressure you into feeling that way—weather they mean to or not. Hang in there. Keep doing right. Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. You’ll be so glad you saved yourself just for him whoever that special guy maybe.
Hi Faithbook, wow what an uplifting and kind response! Seriously your encouragement means the world to me. I know I’ve said that word a lot on here, but that’s really the most accurate word as to how I’m feeling. You’ve made me feel so hopeful-so inspired, so not alone, so, just, encouraged! So thank you from the bottom of my heart. And wow what a beautiful love story you and your husband have. What a wonderful gift you were to eachother. So inspiring. Thank you for sharing that:) sending big big hugs and love xox
Big hugs back beautybeyondbones. If its one thing I can do its offer encouragement. We all could use a little and a little compassion goes a long way. Know your words are just as encouraging to so many including me 🙂 Keep posting. Keep writing from your heart. Your story is truly beautiful even when its doesn’t feel like sometimes. And keep encouraging others to do the same.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:15
We could all use to hear more encouraging words from each other rather than the finger pointing and shaming we see so much of everywhere else. You’re a real blessing 🙂 <3
Amen to that! We could all use a little more of that in life. You are a blessing ❤️❤️❤️thanks again
Thank you for being so bold about your feelings and so brave to stand up to your friend and admit your virginity despite possible ridicule and numerous questions.
Be encouraged that you are right and that God is pleased with you for making a firm, bold stand.
I appreciate that it is not talked about as much these days in church circles because there are so many Christian ladies (and men) who have been sexually abused. Therefore it is a subject to be approached with caution so not to offend anyone. We can no longer preach ‘seek to marry a virgin’ because although this is good advice, it is also insenitive to the many ladies who lost their virginity at 9 because they were left alone with evil men – many of whom were their fathers.
But what you are saying makes complete sense.
I was a virgin until 35 when I married my husband, so I can confirm it is worth the wait, even if it is hard.
Remember that
1. What the world calls normal is abnormal to God and
3. What the world calls abnormal is normal to God.
You are in the minority group where it is always tough to make a stand.
Hold you head up high gal – you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you are highly commended in Heaven and that’s where it counts.
People’s opinons though hurtful, are just ignorance and foolishness and what helps me in those situations is, I ask myself, ‘Can that person who’s mocking me take away my pain when I’m in agony? Will they be there on my deathbed, holding my hand and helping me into the next world? No? No. Then their opinions don’t matter because they are going to the grave with those opinions and they will be no more.’
I hope that helps hun.
Xx
Hi Sharon, thank you for this beautiful response. I so appreciate your kind encouragement and support. What a beatific testimony of love you have with your husband. Very inspiring. And thanks for those little nuggets of wisdom. Very very true. Hugs and love xox
My favorite blog ever, I don’t get tired of reading. I so get you on this, very real, very brave. You’re amazing & I love you sharing your journey with us all!!
Aw thank you so much!! You are so kind to say that:) thanks for taking the journey with me! I can’t even begin to express how much it means to my heart. Hope you’re having a beautiful week. Sending massive hugs and love to you friend xox
I am really sorry to hear that you felt that way! I will never understand why people have this (creepy if you ask me) obsession with virginity, particularly that of ladies. It’s like in some parts of the world you have to be a virgin and in other parts God forbid you never have sex before settling with someone! Isn’t there more important things to discuss! Went a bit ranty there, sorry! But I hope you well…no one has the right to look down at you for the decisions that you make, just cause they don’t see it as normal. x
Hi Mayrathia! Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree! Much more important things to discuss! No worries-i love the enthusiasm:) I appreciate you stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Wonderful read! I’m so glad your friend was understanding of your feelings. It’s really hard to find someone like that nowadays. You do what you feel like you want out of your life and don’t worry what others think! I think it’s very special that you will appreciate your husband that much. You deserve the best! Chow!
Thanks so much Justin! Yeah, he’s a great friend. I appreciate your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
Hello there. I love this article. I appreciate your willingness to be open and honest about being a virgin. Also, thanks for liking my blogpost. Don’t ever feel ashamed or embarrassed about being a virgin. What you are doing is for Christ and He will bless you for this with a happy and blessed marriage. I too, am a virgin saving myself for marriage, so I can relate to you in many ways. I’m black, and 37, so imagine the stereotypes I’m smashing by waiting until I get married. Unfortunately with the way the world is these days, being a virgin is not the norm. So if you are feeling misunderstood, I get that, and you are not alone in feeling that way. You are never alone because you have Christ. Your life story is a testimony that can help inspire others, both men and women. So continue to seek the Holy Ghost for love, strength, guidance, & comfort. May God bless you abundantly.
Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to me. That’s so awesome that you’re waiting too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thanks for sharing that. Hugs and love xox
You welcome! Thank you for sharing your testimony and reminding me I’m not alone. God bless!
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Hi Beauty, just wanted to say that there are a lot of girls (and guys) out there who wish more than anything that they were virgins, and were virgins when they got married. I think it’s a very beautiful and special thing. Please don’t lose heart over something as good as that. God bless you <3
Hi Ana, thank you so much for this sweet encouragement. It really means a lot. Sending you hugs and love xox
The cults are rising. SAVE YOURSELVES! http://goo.gl/do8VKP
Very sweet of the gift you are to give. You are not the only one. Another of them right here. Friends might not understand, but He always will. God keeps on giving. Let’s live as close to him as possible 🙂
Hi Alex, aw thank you so much for this kind note. I appreciate you sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) amen to that! Hugs and love xox
its really funny 🙂 i mean the pictures you gave
Haha thanks:) glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
and thanks for posting these pictures you made my day
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Rock on, girl. Rock. ON. (P.S. You’re not alone.)
Hey Monica! Aw thank you for this:) I really appreciate the encouragement. Hugs and love xox
It’s an amazing blend you are. And way funny!
Aw thanks so much for this:) haha glad it made you laugh! Hugs and love xox
Tremendous!
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
That “V” question from a guy harkens back to the need to be “the first one”, which then gets bragged about once he is back with the guys. I hope instead of answering, more women will ask the same question back, “Are you? And what does it mean?” The relationship is a foreign language still for too many guys. Women carry the greatest risk so we are wise to be protective of ourselves. But everybody has been misled about the type of guy he turns out to be. I refuse to be defined by one part of my body.
Hi friend, thank you so much for this reflection! Lots of great thoughts. Yeah I definitely don’t want to know what guys talk about when it’s just guys haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
[…] Source: V Card […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Two thoughts:
1. Why I’m i just now reading this???
2. This is probably the best thing I have read in a while, thank you for being vulnerable and painfully honest. Sex has become so random and some people cannot understand, genuinely understand when you say you don’t wanna have it. I wish I was able brave as you are, but hey no use crying over spilled milk right? It’s today that counts.
Thanks again for this post. I promise to read every single thing you write from here on out!
Hi Adaugo! Wow thank you so much for this reflection. I so appreciate your kind words. Amen to that-it’s today that counts. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Lovely post. You are worth waiting for 💞
Aw thank you so much! That really means a lot. Hugs to you friend xox
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I always felt (before I gave the Lord my life) that being a virgin was not something you wanted to be, and for you to be a Man you first have to lose it. Many relationships had been and gone but I have always felt insecure about not being loved enough, which is why I kept breaking up with them and seeking comfort else where. Then I met my last girlfriend, and we were together for a long time and for the first time i felt like i had found the one. she was the most caring human being i had ever met and could tell she was going to be the most amazing mum ever, we even talked about have a child, which as you can guess what happened next, we tried many times but every time I tried it just felt wrong, then the inevitable happened, we split up. I remember I felt really ashamed of myself, looking back I can still feel the shame of it, but thankfully I am not cursed by it because of Jesus. I miss the closeness of having a relationship. It still is painful to think about what i have lost
Hi Benjamin, thank you so much for sharing this. It can be so hard when things don’t go as planned. The biggest comfort I have found in life is to remember that Jesus makes all things new. No matter what our past holds, we are a new creation in Christ. Thanks again for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
I get so much encouragement reading your posts both Mentally & Spiritually. I am so excited though in 10 days time, I am being baptised :D:D:D
Oh my gosh that is so so amazing! Congratulations!!!!! Praying for you 🙂
Ha, ha, knew it, in the West most lose v at promnight. Here 40 yr old virgins are very true. Sorry for insensitive comments when all talk of Psalms and all. May be I’m cared for by the arc angel, and he is an angel after all.
Hi friend! Yeah prom night is the big cliche here in the states. Thanks for your perspective! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this. It’s relateable on every level—it is encouraging to know that there are others out in blog verse feeling this way 🙂 You are so brave!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words! Hugs and love xox
Great Blog and brave of you to ” go there” while you are still going through the journey. it would be easier if you were now a mature woman who has been married awhile etc. but to be there and write about it, well that is just so good. If your friend is the guy you describe I don’t think he will break your trust but if he does the news about you is not something to feel shame about but shows your resolve to push through and fight for that partner you may not even know yet here you are investing into that relationship. Giving yourself away is alot like the story of Easu giving away his birthright for the temporary pleasure of soup. The soup just won’t be that good to make that trade. Good stuff
Hi friend. Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. I so appreciate your kind words. That’s a really powerful perspective. Hugs and love xox
Ooh… That’s good reference to Esau’s birth right😯
I’m proud of you for valuing yourself enough to save yourself for marriage.Your husband will be a very lucky man and most importantly God is well pleased. I have great respect for you God bless!
Thank you so much for this encouragement! I really appreciate your support and kindness. God is good! Hugs and love xox
[…] Source: V Card […]
Thanks for the shoutout! Hugs and love xox
wow! by showing your vulnerable self, you only made yourself invulnerable in my eyes. my salute to a superwoman!
Aw thank you so much Charly:) I so appreciate your encouragement. Hugs and love xox
i really enjoy your blogs. easy read, straight from the heart.
Aw thanks again ❤️❤️❤️
Girl. That’s awesome. And I know exactly how you feel. (I’m married and have a kid now) But, I used to feel like a freak for being a virgin. It’s such a crazy idea in today’s culture. People think you should just go have sex with whoever whenever because somehow that’s supposed to make us happy (again, about the getting not the giving…) and in some strange way we’re told it will help us build a relationship. I think it’s awesome that you’re waiting. I waited until I was married and I will never EVER regret that decision. Before I was married people thought I was crazy for not dating every single guy I met, kissing a million dudes, and never having sex. It made me feel dumb. Weird. Ugly. Unwanted. Out of touch. Like no man would ever want to have me. I knew that wasn’t the truth, but that’s how I felt. God made you beautiful (as I’m pretty sure all those men have noticed). You are awesome, talented, captivating, intriguing, and absolutely gorgeous. And you are 100% worth it. Jesus’ sacrifice proves how worth it you are. And it is 100% worth waiting for your husband. From one (once) virgin to another, I promise you will NEVER regret it.
Hi friend! Wow thank you so much for such a beautiful response. I really appreciate your kindness and encouragement. What a beautiful love story you have with your husband. So inspiring! Thanks for sharing that. Sending a big hug! Xox
It’s weird how ppl think you should date 100s of guys now days… They know you don’t have to right?😕
Yeah. It is weird. This strange philosophy that the more you date the better you’ll know who you want to marry… But the opposite effect happens
I agree. I mean how are you supposed to know who would make a good marriage partner by dating that many ppl? Isn’t that kind of overwhelming? And probably on top of that, you’re healing from break up; whether you did the break up or the other person did.😕
Great points.
So true!
I was too sheltered to feel bad about being a virgin. But the thing is, that didn’t stop me from making a really stupid mistake that I will never be able to change and that has (and will continue) to affect my marriage. So in a few words, thank-you. Thank-you for being a hero in culture with so many blurred lines. Because girls (and boys) should know how it affects your future when you
can’tdon’t wait, but they need to know more about the other side of the card.So, I thought I had more to say but I’m drawing an exhaustive blank, so I’ll just leave you with, more power to ya!
Happy Thursday (:
Thanks for this Carson. Ugh those exhaustive blanks…I know them well! Haha but seriously, thanks for sharing your heart. I always look forward to reading what you have to say. You’re a good dude:) hugs my friend xox
You know what though, it came back after I read your latest post – and maybe getting away from the TV helped a little, too 😉 – The other half of what I was thinking the first time I read this but didn’t have time to write it. Something I came away from that youth conference with (but that has been ebbing in the back of my mind for months) is the sacrificial role of the husband. I wrote a short series on Ephesians some time back and the first four chapters I got – I so got. And the fifth I thought I got. And I thought I got it good. But for whatever reason that one never got around to being published because I just didn’t feel right about it. Over the weekend I just got this… I don’t know… ‘It hit me like a shipload of bricks’ just doesn’t really sum up how it came on me when I realized what being a husband means, that it means being an image-bearer, that it means being as loving, gracious and forgiving as God, that it means dealing with my wife like God deals with me. I can’t even find words to explain it, and I think that must be what Paul meant when he talked about the Mystery of Christ and the Church because I could talk about it for hours and still not come to the point; if he’d found the words to write Ephesians 5 in the full unadultered light of how it is I might’ve figured it out a long time ago. I know I’m off on a bit of a tangent for this post now (maybe not for your Father’s Day post though? 🙂 ) But point being, like you said, relationships aren’t about taking, they’re about giving, and God mandated that out for husbands, (and I know if he’s got one for you, he’s got a good one who will be ready to bear that Image)
I guess where I was really going with this was that selflessness that I can’t even really explain, but you get it, and it goes so much further than just being married because I know how much insecurity and guilt and shame and anxiety is waiting for those of us who didn’t/won’t wait, and you know the battle and the pressure and the ostracization (real or perceived) for those who choose differently. So again, thank-you. You’re a super hero, and I can’t think of anything more giving (and investing into a lasting marriage) than saving yourself for one person. So bravo. Let’s make a legacy that will change generations to come.
And I won’t rant like this on too many of your posts 😉
This is so awesome, Carson. This isn’t a rant at all! It is incredibly insightful! I would absolutely LOVE to read your series on Ephesians. And how powerful: image-barer. That’s so true. Even though we all are called to reflect Christ to others, husbands have a special duty as a father. And husband. They’re the image barer-literally. Thank you for sharing that! And yes, it’s always harder to give than receive, but I think that really is the secret to a healthy relationship. Thanks again for being you!
Thank-you for that vote of confidence (:
P.S.: almost forgot,
Part 1: https://graceconfidence.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/grafted-in-ephesians-part-i/
Part 2: https://graceconfidence.wordpress.com/2016/01/15/living-church-ephesians-part-ii/
Part 3: https://graceconfidence.wordpress.com/2016/01/16/rooted-ephesians-part-iii/
And the illustrious (though technically not included) part 4: https://graceconfidence.wordpress.com/2016/01/19/unconditionally/
and since it happens that writing comments on the wordpress app on my phone is rather difficult and cumbersome, I’ll leave you at that.
P.P.S.: I now have a new admiration for your replying skills after said phone app forced me to scroll through four days’ worth of comments just to find mine to put this here. Bravo! (And I do hope I got this posted in the right place)
Haha yes thank you! Can’t wait to read it!
Great thanks!
Your comments are POWERFUL. You have a gift sir.
Yes they are! I always enjoy reading what Carson has to say!! 🙂
Thank-you very much [:
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Good for you. You have decided what you want. I commend you for your integrity.
Thanks Roger, I really appreciate your encouragement. It means a lot. Hugs and love xox
My girlfriend is the same way, she’s saving herself for her husband. As I hope to be given that wonderful title eventually, I can’t reciprocate that “first-time” for her if we ever do get married. Yet, I always tell her “Hell yeah babe” when she talks about it, if that’s what she wants to do, super kudos to her, i’m fine by that. I think you should take it the same way, that’s what you wanna do, wait till your husband comes along, I say “Hell yeah” I think what you’re doing is great, your husband will appreciate it for sure, and anyways, casual, random sex is overrated anyways. 😛
Hey Kenneth, thanks so much for sharing this. And I really appreciate your encouragement! It’s nice to get a guy’s perspective:) you’re a good guy👍 hugs to you friend!
Wow… Nice one… That’s truly inspiring…
Thank you so much Eseosa! I really appreciate Kate your kind words. It means a lot. Hugs and love xox
Good for you! Maintain that commitment to your future husband!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
Sex is overrated. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, but I understand what it feels like to be exposed as one. Hang in there. You and God have got this!
Can I tell you a little secret? Even in marriage there is pressure from all over that you must do it so many times a week or month to have a healthy marriage…it doesn’t stop once you get married. Your post set off a little light bulb, as my husband and I haven’t had sex in almost two years, yet we are still happy and healthy together. We’ve gone through some tough times together and still enjoy each other’s company, be that what it may. We don’t cuddle, or hold hands, just kisses in the morning, before bed, when he leaves and comes home from work. I used to think that it was sad and that there was something wrong with me and/or us because of this outside pressure. I thought sex was the answer to our marriage. Boy was I wrong! I’ve been molested and raped so many times before my husband came along that I never thought about taking sex out of the equation. And it was my husband who knew that before me that that is what I needed. We didn’t talk about it or think it all out, it just phased out and reading your post made me understand that it is OK and if I dare say He planned it that way. So that hubby could have a break from the guilt he had when we did have sex, because he was scared to death of it seeming like he was hurting me like all the others or that it would trigger off something bad. And it did many of times. So it became few and far between and for the first time I am understanding something about us that I wouldn’t have discovered without your guts and honesty. Thank you. No doubt God is working through you. It is Ok not to have sex, for any reason at any time in your life you choose. Be proud of it. It doesn’t define who you are but it may bring out the truth in others so be cautious. Thank you so much for being a miracle of God.
Patty
Hi Patty, thank you so much for sharing this. I am giving you the biggest hug through the computer. I am so sorry that you were raped. That breaks my heart. You did not deserve that. You are a precious child of God and deserve to be protected and cherished and treated as such. The healing process is different for everyone. But you’re right-you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. I think it’s really beautiful that your husband is such a positive supporter. Sending the biggest hug to you friend. Thanks for sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox
I’m right there with you girl. Stay strong, grounded in God’s word, and it’ll be well worth it!
Thanks for sharing this Bree. It really means a lot. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Hugs and love xox
Did the same thing and so did my wife. Yes, it is worth it.
Thanks Stephan, for the encouragement! What a beautiful love story you and for wife have. Hugs and love xox
What a wonderful post! Sharing it with my daughters. You put this in such a beautiful way.
Thank you so much Scott. I really appreciate your encouragement. Thanks for sharing it with your daughters. Hugs and love xox
Dem calves!
😂😂😂😂haha oh my gosh you’re funny. Thanks 😎
That’s what the article is about, right? I couldn’t remember anything else after seeing them.
Lol literally laughing out loud! 😂😂😂 thanks Shinja 👍
So….. That email….
Oh gosh I’m sorry I have been slammed this weekend. So busy! I’ll get to it soon! Sorry for the delay!
Ughhhh, can you write a book? Your posts are so insightful and true. Girl, you are not alone- I’m a virgin too, for your exact reasons. I completely agree with it making you feel exposed. People give you been ended compliments about it. You get called a unicorn😂
but stay strong, I think the decision is a wise one, that will save lots of emotional and spiritual damage.
Aw Celestial, you’re so sweet! Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) I really appreciate you reading my posts this evening! Hope your weekend is off to a great start. Hugs and love xox
Love this. I made it until I was 18. The act was loving, special, and well thought out. But the main purpose of waiting was for my husband. God is so good and I pray that you maintain. I don’t here many people expressing themselves as I was when I was 18 but I love hearing that girls still do this. I hear women more often than not that can’t wait to give it up on the first date. So disturbing but their life, their choice, their mistake. Moving forward I appreciate that someone once to wait the words hello. keep it up
Thank you so much Mel. I so appreciate the encouragement. It means more than you know. Thanks for sharing your heart. Sending big hugs and love xox
aww I accept those hugs and pray for your strength.
Thank you for the prayers❤️❤️❤️
You show such strength and courage. Keep doing what you feel is right!
Thank you so much Marquessa. That really means a lot. 🙂 btw-your name is gorgeous! Hugs and love xox
Thanks! And I’m always happy when I find GREAT new blogs! 😚
❤️❤️❤️❤️aw thanks again xx
I get why you would feel like a “dweeb”. The world sends us this message that we aren’t cool if we don’t fall into all of its lies. One of the biggest it tells is that sex is meaningless and that it’s just for fun. We are raised in this society and so these ideas become ingrained in our thoughts. What you are doing is beautiful. You’re awesome. Thanks for sharing I’m happy to know that there still those brave and faithful enough to be “V”s.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. I can’t tell you how much your kind words mean. So thank you. Hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox
Hey dude…kudos to you for standing by your truth! One day not only will your future man love the fact you saved yourself for him, but you are no pushover and woman of valor!😄👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thanks Ezi! I appreciate that 🙂 so glad you stopped by! Hugs to you!
Though I totally understand what your going through being a virgin…I don’t want to give myself for ANY man! And I have learned by doing so I am growing too: I respect myself, I know my worth, won’t cave in just because men & society as whole says “I have to have sex”, I am patient and faithful…
Amen to that! Self respect is so important to have. Thanks for sharing this. Hope your weekend is off to a great start! Xox
Not a problem! 😄👍🏾 Thanks, I hope you will have a good weekend too!😄👋🏾
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One time I was seeing a guy and I told him I was saving myself. Frustrated, he thought because I told him I was virgin I didn’t want sex. Pfft! Hahahahha!😂😂😂😂 Of course, I want to have sex! What virgin doesn’t? It’s that common misconception that people think virgins don’t want to have sex. We know what we’re doing and we know it’s because we’re saving ourselves for the right person! Only a self-conscious person with self esteem issues would let what society says get the best of them. Who or when I decide to have sex with is nobodies damn business but my own, because I will be the one having that special moment with that special person…😊😊😊😊 not them😑😑😑 😑 And girl don’t let any man and I mean any MAN make you feel worthless because of your values! Because one day a special man is going to appreciate you for all of who you are!😄
P.S. I stopped seeing that jerk😑
Lol girl I FEEL YOU! I know! It’s such a, frankly hysterical, misconception. And good, he didn’t deserve you! Seriously your comments have absolutely made my day. You’re speakin’ my language!! 😎☺️❤️ thanks for the pep talk. You rock👍
I am happy they did! Hey we gotta stay strong in this time and age😄
Yes!! 💪💪💪💪
Crazy I literally had this same convo with a guy friend of mine some weeks back. Happy to see I’m not alone. Awesome message girl! God bless
-Omo 🙂
Hi Omo! Aw thank you so much:) it’s nice to know I’m not the only one:) thanks for sharing this. Hugs and love xox
This was delightful to read! Oh and thanks for always liking my posts. I feel you are my biggest fan!
Aw thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it! Haha yeah I’m all for encouraging fellow bloggers! Hugs and love xox
[…] I thoroughly enjoy reading, I knew for sure what I had to do. The blog post she wrote is named V-card and describes the “trouble” of being a virgin today… So I have branched out and […]
Thanks for the share! Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
[…] I thoroughly enjoy reading, I knew for sure what I had to do. The blog post she wrote is named V-card and describes the “trouble” of being a virgin […]
Thanks friend:) I appreciate the reblog! Hope you’re having a great weekend! Xox
Reblogged this on Revival Now and commented:
Beauty writes about the lonliness of being a virgin… i continue to be amazed by this girl and her amazing generosity in allowing us to share her journey.
Thanks again for the reblog! I appreciate your kind words. Hugs and love xox xox
[…] V-Card (A blog below the belt to keep you above it) […]
Thanks so much for the reblog! Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
Contrary to what others may think of… there is NOTHING to be ashamed of being a virgin! I agree on what you said. Save the best for last, why not? doesn’t matter what others think it is what’s inside of you, what’s your heart tells you to do and what is right for you. Lots of virgins in Asia btw especially in the provinces. Some may pretend they’re not anymore, so what? If the guy really loves U then he will wait and remain a gentleman. 🙂
Aw, thanks again! Seriously your kind and uplifting words mean the world. so thank you 🙂 hope you’re having a great weekend! hugs and love xox
No worries. 🙂 I agree with you.
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I waited for my husband as well. We were both virgins when we married. The one part I sort of regret is that in both our families, sex was not an open topic and hence, it has taken us five years of marriage to be ‘comfortable’ with talking about it and finding out what is and what isn’t okay. I’m so glad you have written this and you are definitely not alone even if it may feel like it!
Hi C, thank you so much for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. Sending big big hugs xox
Thanks for sharing this. You’re brave to discuss this and God honors the commitment you’ve made. I’m a believer in, once you’ve stripped and gotten to the bare bones of the matter it makes you that much more of a beautiful person. God bless you.
Hi Rabia! Thank you so much for this kind encouragement. It really means a lot. That’s a beautiful outlook. Hugs and love xox
Hi! You’re so welcome! Sending lots of hugs & Love your way ❤
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I’m agnostic so don’t look to me for anything on a religious level as support but I’m not going to be one of those people who tells you that you’re missing out or whatever.
I will say, however, that sticking to your principles can be a difficult thing… particularly if it’s something that is running against the grain of what society seems to be doing.
Sex is very much on the tip of society’s tongue, so meeting someone who has taken a moral stand (for whatever reason) to abstain is *relatively* uncommon. It takes courage to abstain and have chosen to do so. (I always used to joke with my best friend WAY back in the day that we were both involuntarily celibate.)
I’m a believer in personal growth and I think that the key to personal growth is re-evaluating and re-assessing yourself and your principles based upon new knowledge and new learnings. I believe that, sometimes, it’s easier to say NO and keep things at arms length than it is to say YES and explore something new. There are times when saying NO to something is important, definitely. But never be afraid to throw on some rubber boots and get a bit dirty (proverbially speaking, of course) by saying YES to something.
Hi Jeff, thank you so much for this reflection. I really appreciate your perspective. What you said about keeping people at arms length really made me stop and think. I think being vulnerable with people-whether emotionally or physically, both take courage. I will be sticking to the physical part, by you’ve inspired me to make sure I’m not keeping people emotionally at arms length. so thank you for that! Have a beautiful weekend. Hugs and love xox
Don’t worry I suffered the same fate when I told a friend I was a virgin. People look at me like I’m from a different planet and I’m a guy. Virginity symbolizes patience and purity. I commend you for that. Whenever a guy pressure you that means he doesn’t love you. Trust me. I know. I am one of them. God bless, and stay pure.
Thanks for this encouragement! That really means a lot. And I really appreciate a guy’s perspective. It’s nice to know there are still good guys out there:) have a great rest of your weekend! Hugs and love xox
“. . . relationships are about giving. If you go into it thinking it’s the other way around, you’re going to end up disappointed and hurt.”
I’m going to have to quote this to some of my potential wedding photography clients; Jus’ sayin’!
haha thanks friend! I hope you do! And wow wedding photography! what a cool job! thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox
How wonderful and rear you are. There aren’t too many virgins left in the world and you should feel nothing, but pride for your decision to remain one until YOU are ready. I admire you! With all the pressures out there in society to be sexy, and free you have stood your ground. No you are not a fraud just because you like wearing the latest fashion trends, you are just being you. Those are just clothes they are not your heart (remember that). Remain confident in who you are. Blessings!
Aw, thank you friend. Yeah, it’s pretty rare, especially in NYC! But seriously, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement. It means the world. Thanks for your kind comments this evening. hugs xox
So much is our society has altered the way we think about sex and the true beauty of it. Continue to press and stand strong because the reward is great! Sex before marriage will never reach the levels of physical, mental and spiritual God intended for you to have for a lifetime within marriage!
Thanks friend. I really appreciate it! You’re right – society has done a number on our perceptions and “norms.” So glad you stopped by! have a great evening xox
I meant rare not rear…typing too fast. 🙂
haha i feel ya — my fingers can never keep up with my brain! haha
Extremely interesting. I was curious and thought you were going to give a date and name but no you are just you and that is all good:)
had thanks! oh boy, yeah sorry to disappoint! lol thanks for stopping by my friend! hope you’re having a terrific weekend! hugs and love xox
I hope you are all good my dear friend. You did not disappoint me. 🙂
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I would ask to meet up on a not busy day for a lunch but I bet you are busy often and I am pretty sure you are in the city:)
It’s a personal decision. You feel good about it and that’s what matters.
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you’re definitely not alone. stay strong 🙂
Thanks friend! Aw that’s so kind of you to say:) I appreciate the encouragement. Hugs and love from another NYCer ❤️ xox
Hey girl! I’m still fairly new to this blogging thing and I absolutely love it. Especially reading yours! When I read this particular post of yours, I couldn’t help but feel the exact emotions and thoughts running through your head! I totally get you and we have the same mindset when it comes to this topic. Either way, I promise you that it’ll be so worth it in the end! Much love to you 💜
thank you so much! Aw, that’s so sweet of you to say! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thanks for the encouragement. And yay for joining the wonderful and often crazy world of blogging! i look forward to reading more from you! hugs and love xox
Wow, good for you–it takes courage in this day and age to do the right thing like this, and to save yourself like that. And you’re right to remind yourself (and all of us, via your blog) that you’re not alone.
Hi David! thank you so much 🙂 Your support and encouragement really means a lot. You’re so so right – we’re never alone:) Sending a big hug! xox
Wow- well done for saving yourself for your future husband! Sometimes its hard to honour god and your future spouse, especially In the world we grow up in today! God will really honour you and your marriage for your decision! Love your blog btw- so inspiring 🙂 xx
Thank you so much Megs! I so appreciate your kind words. It means the world. Sending you big hugs and love! Xox
Where is the LOVE button on here? I went through this in my wait-for-a-husband journey too, and I can still feel the pain of what some people said about me and how some people treated me. But now that I’m married, I don’t regret it one bit.
Aw thank you so much Leta! You are so sweet. Thank you for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) thanks for the encouragement. Hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox
Blooming heck – your posts are raw! I feel that you can do this because God has your back. It’s a totally good feeling – yes? 🙂
Kindness – Robert.
Aw thank you so much Robert! You’re so right-it’s a totally God feeling! God is good! So glad you stopped by! Hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox
I found myself wondering why you were so insanely popular until I read your stuff. You really get to the heart of things like few bloggers I have read. I like the way you peel back the layers of yourself and then – peek-a-boo – God appears.
Love, hugs and fluffy teddies to you. 😉
Oh my gosh, Robert, that seriously means so much. You’ve made me smile this morning so thank you 🙂 And yay for fluffy teddies! haha Never heard that one but I may just have to start using it 🙂 hehe
Hahaha – you probably never heard it before because I just made it up today. 😉
But you’re most welcome to use it freely and make it your own. My gift to you. 🙂
Have a safe and beautiful morningdayevening.
Oh ok! Sweet. You know I will be using it!! You too Robert:)
😀 Colour me happy!
Good for you! You are doing the RIGHT thing and you will be giving your future husband a truly wonderful gift!!!! God bless you for your commitment!!!!
Hi Galen! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot. Sending you a big big hug! Xox
[…] V Card […]
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Terribly interesting blog.
Thanks berni! So glad you like it:) Hugs and love xox
I promise you you’ll never regret this decision. Thanks for sharing this deeply vulnerable post.
Hey Pastor Ferguson! Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate the encouragement. Have a great evening!
Wonderful post! It can sometimes feel like you’re the only virgin in America (aside from the church crowd). But you know what, you won’t regret this on your wedding day. The right guy will be worth it. Don’t be ashamed. Mature women know their worth, what they stand for, and what they want. God bless you!
Thank you so much Emily, that really means a lot. You’re right, it definitely can feel like that. Amen to that though-i know it will be worth it. Thanks for stopping by and for your kind encouragement. Hugs and love xox
Love, an honest love, will always over shadow sex, an Honest Love will last an eternity, I applaud your actions, they’re kool and rare today,, good for you. I see that you found my new site findinglifescalm, I was glad to see you show up there. If anything, they were started for my daughter’s, and shared with anyone that wants to share both sites. I’m glad you showed up on both, and I did enjoy your post, you keep being you! Take care, and I’m sure there is a heart being made just for you.
Hi Ray, thank you so much for this encouraging response. I truly appreciate your kind words. Absolutely. I look forward to reading more from you! Hugs and love xox
Wow… I cannot even begin to express how I feel after reading this post, inspiring as always (I believe I comment that on every one of your posts – it’s true!). I admire the fact that you are able to stick to your decision and how you feel about sex, despite society’s majority ideas about it.
Hi there friend, thank you for this beautifully encouraging post. I know! I am so grateful for all your nudges of kindness:) I can’t even begin to express how much I appreciate that. Thanks for being such a good friend:) sending big hugs and love xox
Love this post!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it:) Hugs and love xox
From a woman who did not stay pure, take it from me: those feelings of loneliness and ugliness are far worse once you have caved in. Then they are complicated by a sense of impurity and self-loathing… I did not know the Lord until after I had made a horrid mess of my life. He lifted me up in my brokenness and decay, but I still bear the scars of poor choices.
I admire you for sharing this, for sticking with it and saving yourself for your future husband. However, I admire you more for seeing through the lie that relationships are about what you are going to get out of it. You nailed the truth there when you said, “They’re about what you can give.”
You have something precious to give, and you are never alone. Remember Who is always with you even if you walk in valleys of deepest darkness. Keep running your race with endurance!
Hi HM, thank you so much for sharing this. And for your words of encouragement. You’re so right-life is an endurance test and a long one at that. Isn’t God amazing how He can heal us and bring us to new life? So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
God really is amazing. He has done so much for me when I gave Him so little reason to… I would also like to tell you that I struggled with the same disorder when I was young, but so much time and healing has elapsed now, thanks be to God, it is never an issue anymore. Praying for you as you fight the good fight! <3
Yes He is! I’m so glad you’ve found that freedom and healing. Thanks for sharing that❤️❤️❤️
Absolutely delightfully savored and will share this. Why because every young person needs to hear this so they can endure until they meet their helpmates. This is a perfect piece for young people to read, even if they fall. God loves us enough to forgive us — ONCE WE KNOW! I’m about to adopt a teen…I need to expose her to truth and encourage her to keep herself despite all she has experienced thus far. Excellent piece!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. Amen to that – His forgiveness is truly amazing and it brings me to my knees. Wow! That is so beautiful that you’re adopting a teen. That is such a powerful thing to do. I will keep you and your growing family in my prayers. You are amazing. Hugs and love xox
Gorgeous post. I waited until I was married also, at the age of 26. It was hard to wait. I am so glad I did. My husband had a very hard time believing me because it’s completely out of the norm.’ I used to be very private about it, almost ashamed. Towards the end, I became proud. I was strong. Be proud! So many young girls have sex because they just want to feel loved or because their friends are doing it. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you. People may try to make you feel bad about this decision, but I feel like those people aren’t worth knowing. Stay strong, stay confident! Be proud!
Hi Alison, thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate your encouragement. Seriously, it means so much to know you’re in my corner and have my back 🙂 so thank you. And what a beautiful love story you have with your husband. So inspiring! Thanks again for stopping by! hugs and love xox
Growing up, my dad often said, “Observe what the masses do and do the opposite.” Not to push the limits, rather going in the opposite direction takes strength and protects something that would otherwise be lost in the great vastness of going with the crowd.
We live in a world that gets very dark and whose outlook can seem grim. But the truth is clear in John 1:5 “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
Thanks BBB for sharing and being so vulnerable. You’re right, relationships are about giving, and your husband will be grateful for your perseverance in the pursuit of purity.
Blessings
Wow thank you for this beautiful reflection. Your dad sounds like a smart man. So true though-I love that verse. There is light to be had. Sometimes it may seem hard to find, especially given current recent events, but that’s just all the more reason we need to seek His face and cling to that light. Thanks again for these incredibly kind and uplifting words. Sending a big hug xox
Thanks for sharing this. Very encouraging.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read! 🙂 seriously though, I really appreciate your kind words. Have a beautiful day! Hugs and love xox
Well done for being strong in a broken world and for being you at the same time. Yes it is hard, I waited till I was 32 and it was worth it. My husband and I grew in love together and gave each other ourselves totally intact. It is possible. I have tried to give my girls that upbringing but it is hard when so much is thrust in front of them on the TV. It takes a strong person to say ‘no’ and to stand up to the ways of the world. God bless you.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Wow what a beautiful love story you and your husband have. Gosh that is just so inspiring. Thanks for this wonderful encouragement. You give me hope:) Hugs and love xox
VERY wise of you….
Thanks friend. I appreciate it. Sending big hugs xox
VERY wise of you…..
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I have 5 daughters!!! I love the truth in what you have shared and the integrity in which you have determined is due to living a life for the Lord! Keep the faith! God will send you an amazing husband!
Hi JDO! Thank you for this wonderful encouragement. Wow 5 daughters! That’s so awesome. You’re super dad! 🙂 thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
This. So much this. I love this post and I admire you for writing it!
Hi Jenn! Oh my gosh thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading it. Sending you a big hug! Have a great afternoon! Xox
Your reason for wanting to remain a virgin has sincerely made me see waiting in a different light. It’s also about being willing like I’ve learnt from your blog post. Wanting to give someone you will spend the rest of your life with a gift even before meeting him without expecting the same. This post gives love a meaning.
Thank you so much Naomi, I’m so glad it gave you a new perspective. 🙂 Waiting is definitely difficult, but knowing that it will all be worth it one day makes it a little easier to bear. Thank you for you kind encouragement and for reading my posts this evening. You’re wonderful 🙂 Sending hugs and love xox
I dig your style
Hey thanks Adam! I appreciate it! 🙂 hugs and love xox
Ok I have not met you but I love what you are doing and your writing is always a blessing. Really encouraging!
Hi Bassey! Oh my gosh thank you so much 🙂 You are so kind. YOU are a blessing! 🙂 Have a great day. hugs and love xox
Sweetpea, I just have to respond to this. When dinosaurs roamed the earth, I did exactly the same thing. I’m 52 now, and I was determined to present myself to my husband the same way. I thought the same thing- How cool would it be if my husband was reserving himself for me?
The man I married was about as far from God’s best for us as possible. He was molested repeatedly by his dad. He was molested by other boys. He had a very, very hard time regarding sexual issues, and his recovery was as intense as yours.
He was my best friend, a powerful man of God, and would sometimes lean on my sexual health for the powerful support that it was.
BBB, understand how powerful and how sexually attractive you really are. When you meet the man God has planned for you, you will be disease-free. You will be baggage-free. Sex will be for you like it was for me- candy to a child. Your husband may or may not be in the same position. If he comes with issues, like mine did, your virginity will likely be the most powerful support and gift you can possibly give his healing. Praying for you over here. 🙂
Hi Victoria, wow thank you so much for sharing this. What a powerful testimony of love you and your husband have. I’m so sorry that he had to endure that growing up. It just breaks my heart that he wasn’t protected and cherished and respected like he deserved to be as a child. He did not deserve that. He’s lucky to have you as his wife. Your love for him is very evident and very powerful. You’re an inspiration. Thank you for the encouragement and prayers. Praying for you too:) Hugs and love xox
BBB,
I am 18 and made the same choice several years ago. I completely understand what you mean by feeling alone in this decision- I never really talk about it because I feel like people just won’t get it. They will immediately assume something must be wrong with me or I am lying or that I’m a closet lesbian. This one guy I knew actually told me I was brainwashed by my parents and I didn’t know how to make my own choices. It is so encouraging to know that I’m not the only one- I hope that you know that too. Ultimately, I have seen time and time again that waiting till marriage is the best choice for me and my future husband. Thank you for sharing.
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad you can relate. You’re right, at the end of the day, it’s your decision and no one can pressure you. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) sending you the biggest hugs. Just shrug off those people who may say negative things-you’re following what you believe and that’s what’s important:) Hugs and love xox
There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just a little smarter than everybody else. That is said by a 55 year old virgin.
Hi John! Thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) sending big hugs and love!
Really, enjoyed this and your sharing of vulnerability…beautiful.
Thanks Heather! I’m so glad you liked it. Thanks for the kindness. Hugs and love xox
I love this so much!! Thank you for sharing this it was a great reminder in my chose of purity and I think you exposing yourself was amazing cause otherwise you wouldn’t be able to share it to all these people who needed to here it.
Hi friend! Oh my gosh thank you so much for this encouragement. So glad it resonated with you. Sending you big hugs xox
Thumbs up to all the virgins out there 🙂
👍👍👍👍👍 thanks friend! So glad you stopped by! Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Hugs and love xox
Thank you 🙂
❤️❤️thank YOU for stopping by and taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
Always be proud of who you are. You can’t please everybody, but you can follow your own North Star.
Thanks Bill. I really appreciate this great advice. hugs and love xox
I enjoyed this post. !!
Hi friend! thank you so much! i’m glad you liked it! hugs and love xox
Save your V-card AND your viginity because it is GOOD for you, not just because God commands it and saving yourself for your husband honors Him, but premarital-sex cheapens sex, it cheapens you and it cheapens him. Sex isn’t supposed to be a “commodity” or a “bargaining-chip”. Every time you have sex with a different person you leave a piece of “you” behind, as do they, so “you” are incomplete because those “pieces” can’t be “replaced”. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate “one-flesh” relationship. Tim LaHaye called sex “The Act of Marriage”, and another Christian author called sex a “covenant-renewal-ceremony”.
Your V-card and your virginity should be a “badge of honor”, something you surrender to your husband, NOT some “badge of shame” because you have been a “good-girl”. My first wife WAS a virgin, but I wasn’t, and I have wished ever-since that I had kept myself for her, but I can’t turn back the calendar. Just because she was a virgin DIDN’T mean that she was sexually-ignorant. Far from it, because she grew up on a farm in the 50’s and 60’s before the advent of indoor-plumbing.
There is never a “right” time to make a “wrong” decision, but the time is ALWAYS “right” to make the “right” decision, even if it is “inconvenient”. A man who tries to pressure or shame you into sex is NOT worthy of you, because he doesn’t respect either you or himself. Blessings as you move forward in honor.
Steve
Thank you so much for this kind comment, Steve. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means. So thank you. What a beautiful love story you and your wife have. Thank you for sharing that. you’ve really encouraged and inspired me this morning, so thank you. hugs and love xo
Great post. Very mature. My fiance feels the same way. Glad to know there are still Christian you women out there.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone! Sending big hugs and love xox
Good for you! For waiting, for trusting God, and for being honest!!! I wish I had waited! 💗
Hi Deborah! Thank you so much for your encouraging words! Sending big big hugs! xox
I enjoyed Reading your post. You’re not alone! I’m in the same boat with you! Thank you for reminding me something in your post. I pray God blesses you with a loving husband! 🙂
thank you so much! I appreciate your encouraging words. It’s nice to know I”m not alone. Thanks fro the prayers:) hugs to you friend xox
What you’re doing is an honourable thing, and I know it can be difficult (I know cause I’m waiting too) but I believe it won’t be in vain. Keep going friend ! xo
Thank you so much for this kind encouragement. I really appreciate you sharing your heart:) It’s nice to know I’m not alone. You’re right – difficult, but worth it. Hugs to you friend!! xox
You’re welcome, right back at ya ! xo
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So proud of you. NOTHING to be ashamed of. Be proud that you are honoring God, honoring your husband. Stand firm. I was 27 when I got married and I was a virgin. Didn’t kill me to wait and I was so proud to offer that gift to him!
Hi Laura! Thank you so much for sharing this and for your encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) wow what a beautiful love story you and your husband have. What an inspiration!!! Hugs and love xox
One of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read. I have not met you, but I’ve met your words and I can say without question that you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever met!
Hi Joel! wow, thank you so much for such kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and that it resonated with you:) You just made my night:) so thank you. hugs and love xox
Hi! I can’t believe you like save2secure.wordpress.com blog. I have just started this thing and I so much want to thank you for the like. It is not fully operation yet but you have encouraged me to proceed.
Thank you so much!
Hi friend! Thank you so much for stopping by! Absolutely! I look forward to reading more from you! Hugs and love xox
We live in a culture (in the West) which throws sex at us from every angle these days in the media…it has got to the point where people are obsessed by it at times which is ridiculous. In other words, whether you wait for marriage or not is up to the individual…and if people don’t want to respect that (or any other opinion you might have), they are probably not your friends. Great of you to be open about discussing it.
Thanks friend. O appreciate your perspective. Very true. The media is obsessed with it. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. You are amazing.
Hey friend! Oh good! I’m glad it resonated with you:) sending big hugs xox
Really brave of you to tell this story. I WISH that I had held onto my V-Card but it was taken from me aged fourteen by peer pressure. Hang on in there because you are 100% right in the fact that relationships are about giving. I give all of me in my relationships because I don’t have enough self-esteem to take from which ever partner I’m with at the time. On the other hand, if you ever feel like taking the plunge, there is no shame at all and the whole of man kind would understand. And the lucky fella would be over the moon 😉 love Em xx
Hi Em, thank you so much for sharing this. You speak with such beauty-it really shine from your spirit. Thank you for your kindness. Grateful for you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
No problem, aww thanks so much! If you ever need a chat anytime day or night my kik is emziegrace. We all need to support one another when we’ve been stuck in the system! Xx
You’re so sweet. Thank you. Yes we do!! 😘
You are a beautiful young lady inside and out. Don’t let anyone make you feel ugly or alone because you aren’t either of those things. You are a precious child of God, and you’re right. God is preparing your future husband’s heart right now for you. Stay strong!
Shannon
https://southernrootsandnorthernblossoms.com
Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you to say. I really appreciate he support. Hugs and love xox
Reblogged this on The Bountiful Fig Tree and commented:
Food for thought:
You’re not alone
Thank you so much for the reblog! Hugs and love xox
Really resinated with this
I’m a guy and I’ve been in this same convo
I just wanted to say I’ve felt the same
Sometimes I just really feel alone in this world
Hearing that you’ve felt that too encourages me more than I can say
Thank you for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thank YOU for encouraging me:) hope you’re having a great week! And thanks again for reblogging this:) Hugs and love xox
Loved this post. I’m 20 and also waiting for The One. It’s beautiful to know there are others out there who are being strong and aren’t just “giving it up.” Kudos to you 👏🏾
Hi Tiahara! Thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone! 🙂 sending the biggest hugs and love xox
Hii! Thanks for the like on my recent post. I wanted to tell you that I’m happy you wrote this, because I feel the same way. Hook up culture has a way of pressuring people, but your value is not determined by your v card, but by your character. I know it’s hard though, because I feel the same worries occasionally. It’s your choice though, and only yours to decide. It’s true that there’s only a handful of people at this point who think the same way, but I know some of them and they exist.
Hey Jasmine! Thanks for this:) so glad it resonated with you! You’re right-it’s our character that counts! I appreciate your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
No reason to feel alone, shameful, or guilty in any way shape or form because it’s your body, your temple, and ultimately your choice. It’s awkward to expose oneself when it seems as though most of the world thinks and lives differently, but I’d say it’s a safe bet to point out the fact that you’re courageous and strong-willed for taking the position you have while being open about it too. Kudos!
Thank you this wonderful encouragement. It really means a lot. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
My fiance is a grandmother and I hope to be a grandfather before long. We have lived together for a few years and are never embarrassed, in fact, we make it a point to say that we are living chastely. It’s not for praise or for the shock factor, but to encourage others to do the same. We are letting it be known that a vibrant couple can continue living according to the Ten Commandments while expressing appropriate romantic love to each other. It can be done. It should be done. May you have the strength to continue being a shining example in the midst of rampant secular relativism! — Tony
Hi Tony, thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate your encouraging words. What a beautiful love story you have. Hugs and love xox
Beautifully done. Thank you for sharing so boldly what you value when the world champions throwing away your virginity.
Thank you so much! Wow I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Hugs and love xox
BBB, just to let U know how much appreciate the content and candor that emanate from your post. The flow of rendition about your message is indicative of your talent in writing. It was gripping and spell-binding. This is the best that I have read in years about this sensitive subject.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. Wow I am so touched by your kind words. Glad you enjoyed it. Hugs and love xox
BBB, in this “era of terrorism”, whether one removes all guns, pressure cookers, explosives, knives, etc, evil always lurks. Because it emanates from the mind and heart of humans. The good news(gospel) of the God-kingdom is all the more apropos to our current era. And, God knows where to begin the process of change to establish a God-kingdom. My recent post maybe helpful:
https://fact-s.net/2016/04/26/kingdom-of-god-in-human-anatomy-2/
Your critique is welcome.
Thank you for sharing your post. I look forward to reading it. You’re right-we must keep our eyes on God! Hugs and love xox
Brought tears to my eyes as I remembered the same anger, frustration, confusion that I faced down so many years ago before meeting my husband. The conversation I recall was one that prompted me to write a short story. He called me a dinosaur. In hindsight, I think all of us are who follow The Way. “Narrow is the way” after all. There are many life choices that set us apart, aren’t there? But when we are in our twenties there are few others that distinguish us so much as purity of body, and few that bring us such personal pain. You are a child of the king. The princess is honoring her position in the kingdom and her king.
BTW: I do have a lovely son I could introduce you to. 😉
Hi Sam, thank you for this reflection. I really appreciate you sharing your heart. I’m so sorry that you went through that. That breaks my heart. So glad you found your husband:) thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox
Superb
Thank you friend! So glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
You’re welcome dear ..!! xoxo
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Hi, thanks for your like on my recent post. I love your honesty about this. I come from the other side, I was not a virgin when I married because I didn’t respect myself enough. Now a widow for a year and a half it’s odd. I was on an online group for widows and some who hadn’t even been widowed a month were talking about how they were going out and looking for one night stands. I quickly left. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m reclaiming my emotional virginity – should the Lord ever send me another husband (at almost 38 I’m not holding my breath) I want to be able to give him what I wasn’t able to give my first, dearly loved husband.
Hi Sarah, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you such a big hug through the screen right now. I think it’s so beautiful that you’re reclaiming that. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. God has a funny way of bringing people into our lives when we least expect it❤️ Hugs and love xox
So I just stumbled on you blog because you had liked one of my (very few) posts. And, like a typical guy, this article caught my interest. I vastly appreciated your raw honesty, and your vulnerability. I wish more people respected themselves and their future spouses the way God intended, and I personally wish I could do better in the regard myself (I too am still a virgin; *barely). However, I will say that this post is a good reminder and a confidence booster in myself to do better. God bless!
Hi Joshua, thank you for your encouragement. It really means a lot. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) hope you’re having a great weekend! Hugs and love xox
Yea, Happy 4th of July! I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸woo!!
In a world filled with fishes who swim with the tide, you held back because you had principles for yourself. You respected who you are, and you respected us all who are saving our virginities for our soulmate. You deserve a standing ovation. And as far as the article goes, brilliant, fluidly written. God Bless! xx
Thanks for this, friend. I appreciate your encouragement and kindness. It means more than you know. Hugs and love xox
Hi BBB, I’m amazed of your decision n how you handle this. I think you should go on with your principle n stand firm. I was not, therefore I really highly respect who could have this kind of principle n walk the talk. Salute!
Thank you friend. I really appreciate your uplifting and encouraging words. Sending big hugs xox
Excellently written! I share your views in this post completely.
Also, I think it’s really funny that people think virgins/people that are now abstaining from sex until they’re married are somehow disengaged from real life and don’t experience the same frustration/pressure/struggles as everyone else!
I pray that God continues to strengthen us all in this journey… It’s really not easy but the reward is far greater than the struggle xxx
Thank you so much for this kind comment. You’re right! It’s kinda crazy! I really appreciate the prayers. God is good. Hugs and love xox
There is an old saying that goes, “Candy is dandy/But liquor is quicker.” I think that explains a concern I have about what might happen when . . .. You might think about it.
Thanks friend ! You bring up a great point. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Great post there…I love the plain truth given out….
thanks for liking my post….It means a lot.
Thanks Sharleen! I really appreciate your kind words. Glad you enjoyed it! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this post and thank you for being you!! Great choice by the way and your mom was a great teacher! 🙂 ~dp
Hi dp! Thank you so much. I would have to agree. She was a wonderful role model. Hugs and love xox
Ah!! I love this. I myself am not a virgin but am so proud of you for sticking up and knowing where YOU as a person stands. It is so refreshing to know that there are people out there who don’t do it for themselves, but for Christ’s love and for the purity of their relationship. Don’t give it up until you know he’s “the one” and after the rings are on your finger! You can do it!
Aw thanks Britney:) I so appreciate your kind words. I will definitely take your advice! Hope you’re having a great week! Hugs and love xox
Fantastic faith share. 🙂
Hi friend! Thanks for the kind words. Hugs and love xox
I waited, my husband did not. I will not lie, there have been struggles around that fact, but as you stated I wanted to give my whole self and heart to only the one man who I knew without a doubt cherished all that I had to give. It is that fact that has gotten us through the struggles around this topic. I am sometimes jealous, but my faith in what I only give to the man who loves all of me gets me through. I can tell you this little tid bit from the other side, all the vulnerability, all the feeling different on a level that most people don’t understand, it’s worth it. I would not give up the connection created by giving him that gift.
Also a thank you for liking my post, which lead me here on a day some of that jealousy may have been flashing its ugly green eyes in my direction!
Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. It sound like you and your husband have a beautiful and powerful love. Your heart is inspiring. Thank you for the encouragement. Glad this post resonated with you. Sending you the biggest hugs. xox
I’m sure others can say it even better, but stand firm and stand confidently. I waited too, and I’m also not a dweeb or social outcast with 6 cats! I went dancing and flirted all that, (even though I did have to wear headgear while I slept as a kid! Haha). It did turn out that my husband waited too, but I have other friends who waited and whose husband didn’t, and what I can say, is that no matter the outcome, the Lord is working and has been working actively in their stories, and it was and continues to be such an honor to marry someone who has made the choice as you have. I don’t even know you, but I’m proud of you, and the fact that you’re waiting just makes you more beautiful, more honorable, more beloved, both by our God who delights over you with singing and by your future husband, who has no idea what blessing he has waiting for him. Hugs!
Thanks friend. Wow I am just so touched by your kind words. Thank you. Truly. What a beautiful love story you an your husband have. That is so inspiring. You’ve really made my heart so encouraged and warm. (Cheesy but true!) so thank you. Grateful for you! Hugs and love xox
So glad! The choice to wait is so undervalued, but just because something is undervalued by some doesn’t mean that it is not infinitely valued by others (and by the Lord)! Hope you’re doing well. ❤️
thank you so much:) that’s so kind of you to say! hope you’re having great day! hugs xox
Savannah Hardcastle posted this insightful article on her WordPress blog — {5 reasons} Why I’m a virgin at age 23.
In moments of introspection simply remember that Mary, the mother of our Lord, was a virgin (just as God would have it!)
https://savannahhardcastle.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/why-im-a-virgin-at-age-23-and-i-could-scream-it-atop-pikes-peak-uncovered/
Thanks for sharing this! I can’t wait to read it:) so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Beautiful thoughts. Wish more young women were on this wavelength. Best to you.
Thank you so much friend. I really appreciate your kind words. Sending big hugs and love xkx
Pretty brilliant post and well put. Great advice to remember and apply that it isn’t about what you get from relationships, but about what you can give.
Thank you so much! That really means a lot:) very true-it’s about giving. Hugs and love xox
I’m so proud of you! You are intelligent & wise. Save it for your husband – it’s a gift you can only give once. Oh…and it doesn’t matter that I’m proud of you…Jesus is proud of you…and He is the One Who does matter. God bless you!
Thank you Stephanie! That’s so kind of you to say:) I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words. Hugs and love xox
Hi, beautybeyondbones, by telling men you are saving yourself for marriage is going to scare off a lot of men. Let things progress and when a relationship gets to that point, then say you are saving yourself for marriage. If the guy sticks around and respects your choice you have yourself a keeper. Good luck to you.
Thanks for this advice. I appreciate it. Hugs and love xox
Thank God for young ladies like you. Truly a dying breed of women. I both applaud your obedience and your faith. I will be lifting you up to the Lord. Have fun in life.
Blessings to you
Thank you for your kind words. It really means a lot. I appreciate the prayers! Hugs and love xox
I just wanted to say thank you for reading some of my posts and came here to check your stuff out. I love the growth shown in this piece and your realization to your choices. Plus, I like your little added pictures and gifs haha
Thanks friend:) so glad enjoyed it. Hh
Your decision is yours and yours alone – no need to feel guilty about it. Support your decision with conviction – it’s when you worry about what other people feel that makes you feel guilty. Remember, what other people think, is none of your business! It’s what you think that truly matters. Have a great day, week, year – life! : )
Thanks for this. I appreciate it. Hugs and love xox
Glad I stumbled on this! I can say from the other side that you are making a great decision! Keep on! Jesus is smiling at you right now, knowing that you GET IT!
Thank you so much 🙂 I appreciate the encouragement! hugs and love xox
Wow.. this is some jaw-dropping post. Almost erotic, till you mentioned the husband part 😛
thanks Victor. Appreciate it. hugs xx
I have to respectfully disagree with the suggestion that you not be upfront at the beginning of a relationship because you might scare the person away.
Be honest … let them go. The risk in waiting is that you might find yourself in a compromised situation where the pressure is so great that you succumb to temptation.
We also have to be ever-mindful of Paul’s warning to not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).
A Christian should choose their friends wisely, but too many want to have one foot in the church and the other in the world. As one young woman said, “I called myself a Christian, but socializing with my friends was more important.”
A Christian woman told me, “I don’t date Christian men.” This young lady was more interested in having fun than following Christ.
This has been the experience of my Christian walk. I never found a woman who loved Christ more than the world. So I have remained unmarried and celibate.
Being honest from the beginning will save you from the heartache of making a terrible mistake.
And a Christian man who is a true disciple of Christ will respect your decision.
May the Holy Spirit give you grace, and may God lead you to the right man.
Thank you for this perspective. I appreciate the advice. Hugs and love xox
What a wonderful gift you are saving to give to someone so special! They will cherish you all the more! God bless you and bring that man of God to you to be equally yoked in marriage! Prayers are with you! May you inspire others by this!
Thanks for your kind words! Hugs and love xox
That’s precious. Very self-conscious. Your future husband who is worth his salt will recognize this REAL act of love. Too often, love today is defined as what you want and what you need. It’s really about how to be a blessing to another.
thanks Kenneth:) I appreciate your kind words. hugs and love xo
[…] God’s healing on her blog Beauty Beyond Bones. Her vulnerability in a recent post called VCard was inspiring to me and speaks to a younger generation on a topic that must be on every […]
Thanks for the reblog! Hugs and love xox
BBB, all I can say is that I am amazed by you. Although I am a Christ follower, sexual sin was one of the strongholds of sin that I was not willing to give up so easily. I struggled with how my desires and actions contradicted God’s view of marriage. I applaud your choice, sexual sin is rampant in our society today and it has cheapened sex to the point it is seen as exercise rather than the joy of the union of two bodies in the marriage covenant. I regret the decisions that I made in my single years before my first marriage and between marriages. Keep strong. God will guide the right man toward. God made a man that is going to cherish you for saving yourself for him, who will love and adore you for it, and he is getting here as fast as he can. May God give you the strength to hold on until that God has made for you finishes his journey to get to you.
Hi mark, thanks for sharing this. I really appreciate your encouraging words. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this
You’re welcome! Hugs and love xox
You are not alone in this – I’m doing the same and believe in the same / Good for you.
Thanks for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Hugs and love xox
I don’t know if anyone amidst the myriad comments here has already posted this, but I think you’ll like this post on First Things called ‘Subversive Virginity’: http://www.firstthings.com/article/1998/10/subversive-virginity
Also, my wife and I were blessed by God that we both waited, and it has made our marriage a place of strength and given us a healthy sex life rooted in our faithfulness to God and each other as well as His faithfulness to us.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like you and your wife have a beautiful love story. So inspiring. Hugs and love xox
Reblogged this on Life Lemonades.
Thanks for the reblog Adeola! hugs xox
Thank you so much for this post. I have greatly enjoyed it.
Thank you also for your like on my poetry blog.
My favorite aunt in the world used to tell me words I could say if I ever needed to justify hanging on to my virginity: “If I am ever unhappy with my current status, I can change it in five minutes. Can you say the same?” I never had to use those lines, but it felt good to have them.
By doing things God’s way and saving sex for only the context of marriage, you are not only loving God, and loving your future husband, loving all the friends who may follow your example, and loving all the guys who are attracted to you, you are especially loving yourself. I don’t know this from personal experience, but in so many situations I have either seen on the big screen or read about in books, one person casually sleeps with another, seems to see nothing wrong with it, then is literally hunted down with a catalog of messy complications. Even when casual sex leads to no baby and no disease, someone always gets hurt. C.S. Lewis said that a sexual experience is a union that must be either eternally endured, or eternally enjoyed.
So, you are setting yourself up for peace in the short term, joy in the long term, and finally (is there really more to this special offer? Yes, there is!!) the words everyone who is anyone is going to want to hear at the final judgment: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
May all of God’s blessings be yours as you keep persevering on the narrow road of faithfulness!
Best Regards,
“GwennonR”
Hi Gwennon, thank you so much for this powerful reflection. seriously, your words are so encouraging and appreciated. God is good! And I will trust His ways. Hugs and love xox p
I loved reading this post – so good to know that in this world where important and special things have been severely cheapened by our culture and the media, there are followers of Christ who aren’t afraid to do what they believe is right (and explain it to others!), even when it’s difficult! 🙂
Thanks Melissa! I really appreciate it:) oh yes, super difficult but super worth it! Hugs and love xox
This is a great post. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable. Father God give you everything you need to become the complete (and completely beautiful) person he knows you to be.
Thank you so much! I appreciate the prayer so much. God is good! Hugs and love xox
being a father and growing up in the fifties with street gangs , i still kept the values taught to me by parents and church , and i believed that a girl should stay a virgin untill marriage , but unfortunatly that doesn’t always happen.
enviroment and peer pressure changes that thinking with most.
stay proud , because you did well.
Thank you 🙂 I really appreciate your encouraging words. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
stay strong , stay blessed
❤️❤️❤️
Reading this post was truly enjoyable and enlightening. Your courage to stand by what you believe in despite what others think is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing this personal experience and I know it’s going to help me when I make decisions in my future.
And thanks for liking my recent blog post 🙂
Thank you Lily! I’m so glad you enjoyed it:) thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
[…] the fact that, yes – I did go through those dark periods of time in my life, but they do not definewho I am or what I am worth or what I can […]
Thanks for the shout out! Hugs and love xox
As someone who had her virginity stripped away as a little child…I think it’s beautiful what you’re doing and I applaud your conviction. Also, thank you for visiting my blog and liking my Willie blog.
although i had read and commented on this post before , it kept
me thinking about why i never wrote a poem on ‘ VIRGINITY ”
so i wrote one just now in response to this blog.
Her virginity
They made fun of her because of her virginity
And saving herself for her marriage is something
They could not see.
They would say : why save yourself for that day may never come
And you’ll never enjoy your life or have any fun !
She would respond :
My virginity is for mine to keep and to share it with another
Is what you seek , but my body is my temple
And only goodness will come in and not for someone’s pleasures
And not for me to sin.
What happens if you get pregnant long before your time
And that boy says : “ it’s not mine “.
You have to raise your child and your dreams are scattered in the wind
Just because you decided “ to give in “!
No thank you ! I’ll keep my virginity until my wedding day
Because when I wear the white – it’ll be the proper way !
© L . RAMS 072716
Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. You have a great talent for writing! wonderful job!
you have a great blog – keep up the good work
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I’d like you to know that men actually don’t respect sexually promiscuous women. So if you keep virgin, it’ll “gratify some and astonish the rest” as Mark Twain put it, encouraging us to do the right.
You’re a great inspiration to all women and I intend to use this post as a reference because I’m a feminist who’s trying to tell the women that they’re not equal to men, they’re better than men.
They’re our ticket to heaven and God created this world for women & children, not mysogynist Terminators.
But women need to follow your example. They’re the ladder to heaven Jacob saw in his dream but are they as clean as you are? That’s the question.
Thanks for this, Berni, I really appreciate this insight and encouragement. wow, what an awesome way to think about women! My mom always taught me that one of the biggest roles that women (and men) have is to help get their spouse to heaven. That really puts it into perspective when you break it down like that. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your heart! have a beautiful weekend! xox
As a person with a strong sex drive, I can tell you that I wish I was a virgin. If I was, I wouldn’t have as pressing a desire for sex. So, consider that.
Nice post. Society tries to stip the secredness of the union between a man n a woman. It seems like everyone hooking up with everyone. I am married n my husband is the only person I have ever has sex with. I feel happy knowing no other man can say he tasted the gift before him. I feel proud that I was able to give him something he alone have, something so personal n intimate. God was eight when he said save yourself for your spouse because so much ugliness can come out from having sex before marriage, especially with multiples patners that can fowl up the union with with your spouse.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. What a beautiful love story you and your husband have. Very inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox
You mentioned this post in your video, so I came to read it. I think the world needs more people like you. You have no reason to feel dumb, ugly, or alone. I think you’re pretty brave and downright awesome for writing about this and standing up for what you believe in. All the best to you! 🙂
Thank you Paul, for saying that. And for taking the time to read it. Yeah this post, aside from publishing tonight’s video, was just about the scariest thing I’ve ever done! Haha thanks again☺️
Good for you. Stick to what you believe in, and what’s right for you. I did once think the same way, and had told myself I wanted to wait and put aside pressure from others (including my mother). Then I met ‘the one’ and thought he felt the same way I did (though I knew he wasn’t a virgin, he was older – not creepy older, 8 years older, but he had been married before in college). And I finally decided he was worth it. I can’t regret the decision exactly – because I truly was in love with him – but I realized the next day, he wasn’t going to ask me to marry him. One of the big things for him was that he would have been the only person I’d slept with. That was a hang up for HIM.
I’m married now, and have kids, and am nearly 40 (yuck), and looking back I would tell my 21 year old self to stick to what I believe in, and not to let anything short of a wedding ring change that.
Thank you so much Andrea, for sharing this. I’m sorry that the guy didn’t appreciate the gift of you. You have a beautiful heart and that really shines through. I really appreciate it your encouragement and powerful insight. Sending big big hugs. Xoxo
Wow, he should have been honored that he could have been the only one. I don’t understand him at all.
You sound like you really have your head on straight, and that’s great. But our hearts always seem to get in there and mess us up. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
A long time ago — I believe it was on the cover of the New Yorker — a cartoonist drew a picture of a crowd in the bleachers at some event. Individuals blended into the crowd, becoming basically indistinguishable from anyone else — that is except for one person. That one person was black, and everyone else was white.
That’s what I thought of as you described your feelings: exposed to the judgement and censure of all those around you. That’s not an easy place to be, especially in a self-satisfying culture that puts so much store in convincing us that “everyone is doing it”.
By choosing to remain celibate until you marry you are actually investing in the quality and character of that future relationship, and by so doing you are honoring God.
I’m 71 years old, so I operate from a different set of social mores, but frankly, I don’t think it was any of your friend’s business whether you are a virgin or not. If he is not looking for action, why should he even ask? But I do understand that after a few drinks the boundaries of propriety have a tendency to come down. Perhaps you should consider limiting drinks to the context of having a meal? Bars are not the most conducive places for discreet conversation (you know, that “convo” thing?).
Anyway, God bless you and hang in there!
Thank you so much for this response! what a powerful verse. Thanks for sharing it. And you’re right-bars are most likely not the best place to go looking for a soul mate! Haha but seriously though… Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing. I believe that this topic is very private as it should be. It is a personal choice and I respect that. No one should have to justify their personal preference, experiences, or choices. Again, thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for this great perspective. You’re right – it is very personal indeed. Sending big hugs xox
Loved every word of it. I am glad there are still people like you who see virginity as a gift to marriage. And believe in love through divine connection. keep it up!
Thanks Akash:)you’re so kind. Sending hugs xox
pleasure is mine miss. 🙂
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If I could star this a million times, I would. I’m going to have my two oldest daughters read this. One is 14 and the other is 11. The youngest is 9, so I’ll cross that bridge in a year or so. Thank you for writing this. And you’re not alone. The ugly world is just much louder than your sweet, pure voice.
Aw thank you so much! That’s so kind of you to say:) I hope your girls enjoy the read. I really appreciate you stopping by! Hugs and love xox
And thanks for all the likes on my page. 🙂
Anytime! Xx
Okay I know I literally just commented on your other blog but hey it’s Sunday and I live in a third world country right now so I spend my mornings reading different things since I don’t have the option of church. This morning I happened to just be reading your blog and being inspired by it 🙂
Anyhow… Wow! There are so few women in the world like you. I wish you could meet some of the people I do and inspire them with the way you choose to live your life. As someone who takes romantic relationships very seriously, and spends much time and effort in preparing myself and praying that God prepares me for marriage, I have so much respect for this choice you have made in your life! I love the value that you have placed on it! It’s something that just pretty much goes out the window for most people.
Again, as I’m in counseling school right now (yes I’m a missionary too) I’ve been learning a lot of different things. One is that we must have a healthy love for our self. If we don’t know how to love and take care of our self then we can’t really do it with someone else. What you’ve done by saving yourself is show that you respect and love yourself, and your future husband. When the right man comes along, then he must realize he has to show you the same, and even greater respect because you have set the bar.
Way to go! Way to be real, and to be a real woman!
-Jonathan
Hey again friend! Wow, thank you for such kind and encouraging words! Isn’t it amazing how the Internet can bring people from literally all over the world together?? So cool. Best of luck in your schooling! I’ll be praying for you xox
I just can’t imagine being single and “going to bars” while staying celibate. That’s special in an entirely different way than I’ve ever encountered. Kudos to you.
Thanks Bernard. That means a lot. Yeah it’s a little frustrating to say the least. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
I remember getting asked a similar question, and boy did I feel exactly the same way. I never thought about it that intensely (the fact that I’m giving something very special to my future husband). And, knowing this, makes it easier to remind myself that I’m not dumb for saving myself and that I know why I’m doing it (for my future husband, and ultimately to God).
Thanks for sharing this 🙂 It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this! Definitely not dumb:) sending big big hugs xox
„I feel like from now on, I’m forever going to be seen through the lens of “virgin.” I felt dumb. I felt ugly. I felt alone.“
Here’s the thing. It is the duty of the man – the right man – to show you that you are totally awesome, to conquer your heart and help you to see your infinite worthiness. I ask myself all the time, why no man has conquered your heart yet. It’s a miracle… you are so worthy of attention… what is the effort to get you in comparison to the first price? 🙂
“My virginity is not dumb. It is an act of love to my future husband. One that I should celebrate.”
You are wonderful, Caralyn. The problem is…. the mans were until now to foolish to get it….
Thank you so much for this incredibly kind comment. Thank you for affirming me. I so appreciate it. Have a great night! Hugs and love xox
Well miss Beauty – I can tell the amount of comments on this post is insurmountable 🙂 So I’ll get right to the point: Because of your post here, I got the last push I needed to start the “Song of Virginity” blog and it’s off to a great start! I’ve had 2 guys writing guest posts now and another one whipping one. But up until now I’m the only woman writing posts on it and… well… I’m not exactly a virgin and haven’t been for many years (no, I’m not that old ;-)…).
I wonder if you would consider writing a guest post?
– or if not, with your permission I would reblog this v-card post.
Let me know – and no rush!
Blessings and God’s speed to you.
Lene
Hey Lene, thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! Yes! So glad you took the plunge and pressed the publish button! So exciting. Thank you for the invitation! At this present moment I’m not doing guest posts, just because life is so crazy! But perhaps next month! Definitely feel free to reblog though! It would be an honor:) thanks for stopping by! Big big hugs xox
wow. it’s good to know I’m not the only one in the save-yourself-till-marriage boat! I love your YouTube videos too. Keep up the good work!
Thanks ahava! I appreciate you sharing your heart! Sending massive hugs xox
You stay strong lady…That guy is going to come and boy, how much he is going to appreciate you and what you have done waiting for him because his heart will be made by the Lord and he will see your virtue through your single act of self control and maturity fueled by the grace of God.
you make God smile….
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your encouraging words. Yes, I trust that God will bring him into my life! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Gumption, character, secure, strong, roll model, mentor….YOU
Thank you so much:) what a kind thing to say. Hope you’re having a great weekend! Hugs and love xox
Girl. KEEP IT. Keep with this promise to yourself and to God.
I felt so awkwardly ashamed at some points, maybe not ashamed, but that weird, exposed, naked, aloneness you describe, before I was married. When I was engaged, I had gone into the lady doctor to get started on birth control. They ask you all of these super invasive questions, which are sort of weird for virgins. After the second question, I just told the lady “listen, I’m a virgin. we can skip all this.” and she DIDNT BELIEVE ME.
She continued on to ask the questions and when she finished, she congratulated me. Told me that I was something rare. She’d never seen a virgin come into her office to get on birth control. She literally asked me to sign my name somewhere and pretended like I was a celebrity for not having had sex before I was married. Then, she went into the nurse’s area and I COULD HEAR HER TELLING THE OTHER NURSES THAT SHE HAD A VIRGIN IN HER ROOM. The room started spinning and I was appalled. i was so embarrassed. I felt so violated. Like my choice had become a mockery. i could hardly tell my (now) husband about it when I left, i felt so strange.
The next year I returned and i finally told the lead Dr about it and she laughed at first and then walked out. She came back later and she genuinely apologized and asked for forgiveness for her crass staff.
I felt a lot of weird things because it wasn’t the norm and I’m just trying to tell you in this super weird way that waiting is so worth it. God honors it. God LOVES it. He is so happy for your commitment to Him and the fact that you’re sharing this with other people. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs. Weird encounters will certainly rear their ugly face, but keeping your faith is worth so much more than a few moments of embarrassment. Girl i love you and i love your openness about your faith in God. Keep on.
wow…our parent have the part of telling us what they know about life,our part is to trust and obey,,its a shame most girls dont reson this way …..may be if guys also incoporat this act of love for our future beloved.the world would be a better place….i learnt something long time ago…if you didnt defy others peoples bed when you are not married,God will present to you a gift of a life partner for a job well done…both of u will appriciate the fact that you stood the test of time….many hugs Bbbs, i just stuble upon this post so im sharing it……
Hey Josh! First of all wow thank you for such kind words. I really appreciate your genuine encouragement. It means the world. Secondly I really am grateful for you passing this along. I hope this ends up in the hands of someone who might be a little encouraged by it. Hope you’re having a great Wednesday! Big hugs
[…] Source: V Card […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Dear BBB,
Yes it is an unusual choice in this day and age. I made the same choice. I faced the same questions. I questioned myself about. I was raised Catholic, received degrees from 2 Catholic colleges, Loyola and Catholic University of America. Were the rest of my peers and family members making the same choice. Emphatically no, they were not. I was always surprised by this. Did I regret the choice? Occasionally. It usually went like this. I would be mad at my husband and think, ” Geez! You are so exasperating!!!!!” Then I would think, “I should have slept with other people. Why didn’t I do that! I might have found a non-exasperating husband!!! Whaaaaaaat was I thinking?” Truth is, marriage is exasperating from time to time. I think all of us wives and all of the husbands can be exasperating. Bottom line, looking back I do not regret my decision. It reflected my values at the time.
All the best
Hi Sarah, thank you so much for this beautiful note of encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone has formation point I think you’re right, marriage takes work and is not always a fairytale, but at the end of the day I think God brings us together for a reason. So glad you stopped by. Hugs
I can say that these matters definitely come down to doing the right thing and living by the Lord’s rules. These kinds of choices are commendable and should be made by any Christian in the right mind. This kind of thing should never be viewed in a negative light.
That being said, you’re not ugly. There is really no evidence to back that one up. There is really nothing wrong with you, and your choice to avoid these kinds of activities before getting married do not make you the way that you feel about yourself. Neither should you run around feeling alone or dumb. Remember that in Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, “I am with you alway.” I know this probably sounds like a cliche response, but you are never alone because Christ is always with you. Why should you feel dumb? You’re only doing the right thing. These kinds of things are deceptions of the enemy.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. Definitely a comforting thought. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Always happy to give it every chance I can.
xoxoxoxo
This is a very inspirational story and I’m sorry you felt ugly or weird after revealing yourself. I think you have realize now, from all your comments, that you are admired for your standards and religious beliefs. Some men prefer to be with women with no morals, but believe me, they certainly don’t want to marry one. You are the real deal. Beautiful inside and out.
Good for you. What so many people don’t realize is that saving yourself for marriage has so many benefits for the person themselves as well-including simple things like not being at risk for stds.
Thanks again Lilly! You’re on a reading roll today! Haha That’s so true – definitely an added bonus! Hugs and love xox
I just love this so much. Thanks for sharing your story, and making me laugh! <3
Hey Cheyenne! Oh, thank you so much! I’m glad it made you chuckle 🙂 thanks for stopping by! hugs xo
Been there. Felt your pain….Totally worth the wait! Good for you. May God bless you and your future marriage for your purity. May He bring you a husband better than you could ever imagine or dream of!
So true. What can you give/not what can you get…
Oh thank you so much for the encouragement! what a kind thing to say. thanks for the prayers 🙂 big hugs to you xox
I love this post.
Virginity is one of those things you cannot ever ungive. There is so much more to sex than just the act itself. It is emotional, spiritual and binding. It is the very joining of souls. Whatever is in their spiritual or sexual history becomes a part of you. You become tied to that person, become one with that person.
I don’t think I ever had the privilege of being a virgin and understanding it. My virginity was taken early, and it left me without a frame of reference for that value. Don’t get me wrong, yes, the act was offensive and undeserving, but I never saw myself as a victim. Because of that act, I simply didn’t understand the value in waiting, and when I thought I was ready, I had sex…at 16. I wasn’t emotionally or physically equipped for what sex really entailed. I kept having sex throughout my adult life with long periods of celibacy between. During one such period (that lasted 3.5 years), I was a mom of five and entangled with someone who broke my heart in ways I never thought it could be. I was emotionally devastated and depleted, so I turned to God. He graced me to be celibate for that time. It was about a year before I met my husband – God was prepping me for my husband, who I eventually, I met and married in 2012.
We had our dream wedding on a budget. I was pregnant when we married (after 13 years of no childbearing and little sex). I was looking forward to what sex would be like on that night – good old fashioned, guilty and sin free, non-fornicational sex. Welp, nothing happened that night except a lot of snoring and no consummation because of time zone differences and exhaustion. But the next day, it was beautiful. And although I had slept with him up to a week before we got married, I often wished we, or more aptly, I had waited. I couldn’t undo giving myself to others, and by the time I had given myself to him, I knew I made a mistake in not waiting. He was worth waiting every single day of my life for.
The thing is, our sex life has evolved, and sometimes I tell my husband this very thing – I wish he were my one and only lover, that there had not been others before him. I have actually apologized for not waiting on him, because if I had known he would be as wonderful as he is, I would have waited a dozen lifetimes to have sex. You’re correct, the sexual relationship is about learning, growing, intimacy, expression…and all of those things are about serving and giving. It is not selfish, proud or boastful. It does mean delaying your own gratification for someone else’s pleasures at times be it so they enjoy their time, or simply so they can work a job with alternate hours or so that you can sleep because you’re tired. Sex in and of itself is overrated. When it is coupled with the right person in the confines of marriage, only then can it truly be appreciated for the gift that it is.
So to you I say…keep waiting. As long as it takes! I’m rooting for you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I really appreciate you taking the time to share. I’m so sorry that it was taken from you. You are a blessing, and I so appreciate your support and encouragement. It sounds like you and your husband have a beautiful marriage. big hugs xox
Wow! I admire your courage in sharing your innermost feelings in an open forum.
Thanks Ankur. I appreciate your encouragement! hugs ox
If there was a love button I would break it! I love this post because it’s my life as a 24 year old virgin. The stereotypes, the questions, the shame of it all! Great to know I’m not alone and I’m no weirdo! Thanks! 🙂
[…] BEAUTYBEYONDBONES describes her experience being as a virgin in V Card. […]
thanks for the link up! big hugs xox
Welcome! Just love your post!!! Huggsss! XOXO
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My husband and I got married in January. And one of the beautiful gifts we were both able to give each other was our virginity! That gift is so amazing and so worth saving for your husband! Marriage is about loving and giving! Love this post!
oh wow, Jeanette! thank you so much for sharing that! what a beautiful love story the two of you share. and congratulations on your marriage! such awesome advice 🙂 big hugs to you xox
Ironic, self-ironic (it’s a top skill), single, beautiful, Christian! (or not really so?) At least I have passed her by … with turning my head 180 degrees back, just like owls do.
Na-a-a, she is too far, in a computer… in the USA… At lease I will pray for you, Caroline (have I heard/spelled it correctly?) in the name of Christ and follow your blog… until I fed up of it 🙂
Haha oh gosh, thank you so much! I appreciate your prayers and kind words! Hugs from the USA! Xox
[…] That’s where BBB came in. She’s acknowledged multiple times that her reckless oversharing could have landed her in big trouble, but she continues to do it. I guess something about her […]
Hey friend!!! Thanks for the reblog!! Hugs and love xox
I appreciate your rawness in all your blog post, from speaking about alcohol, to sex, to a variety of topics.
Thanks Shay. I really appreciate that 🙂 big hugs xo
Great! Saving sex for marriage is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the right thing to do. Your talking about it has encouraged and inspired many I believe. Virginity is the best wedding gift to give to a spouse. Thanks.
Thank you so much Jenom! what a kind thing to say. i really appreciate your encouragement. I think you’re right – the best wedding gift indeed 🙂 big hugs xox
Bravo!!! Thank you for sharing so candidly. Blessings!
Thanks again Lydia! Hugs and love xox
Never give up on your beliefs:) My husband and I were virgins when we married (going on 13 years). I was 22 and he was 25. So many times, society lies to us and tries to make us believe that there is no one else out there like us. It is not true. It can be hard, it can feel like you are all alone in standing firm, but remember that you aren’t and you never will be. You go girl:) God has someone special in mind for you and will bring him to you when the time is right. Stay strong!
thanks so much friend. i really appreciate your encouragement. what a beautiful love story you and your husband share. congrats on 13 years! that’s so wonderful 🙂 thanks again. Hugs and love xox
I gave away my virginity when I was 3 months shy of turning 30. It was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. Stick to your guns. I did it because at that age I thought I’d never meet a man who would care about it. I thought is was for younger people and I let the world tell me it was an albatross and I was a fool for keeping it intact. Mistake, mistake, mistake.
thanks for sharing that, Melissa. I’m so sorry that you felt that pressure. i think you’re an incredible person and I thank you for sharing your story with me. Hugs and love xox
Damn B. Thats straight up honesty there. You don’t see that in generations after the 80’s. I wish I had the strength and courage that you do to have kept myself for someone that I wanted to share such a gift with.
Thanks Marcus. I appreciate it 🙂 Hugs and love xox
LOVE this post. I went through the SAME types of situations and conversations before I met my husband. I felt the same too – Alone. Vulnerable. Misunderstood. No one laughed at me to my face, but it felt like they were behind my back. I am so glad I saved myself for my husband even if I didn’t get the same in return. At one point, he actually said he wasn’t sure we should continue dating because he felt so undeserving. Now that was a very powerful, moving conversation. Love your point about relationships being about what you can give rather than what you can get – its SO true!! Stay strong and confident – what a gift and treasure you will be to your future husband!!! – xo, Mad
Thanks so much Mad. I really appreciate you sharing your story. This gives me a lot of hope 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Absolutely! Anytime!
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Everyone’s decisions are right by their own. Respected or viewed differently by others matter not. ALTHOUGH! 2 posts regarding this? lol Hmmm Stick to your guns…the heart and soul always has the answers…TC!
So glad I joined this blogging world. Best of all found stuff like this. Will definitely share with young girls who just seem to feel pressured into prematurely getting into intimate relationships. It’s worth the wait and it’s totally all the way worth it. Thanks for being so vulnerable. You are not alone!!!God bless you
Thanks friend! I appreciate you passing it along! I agree! Hugs and love xox
I want my own daughter to read this!
Thanks for sharing your soul!
Thanks Roland. Hugs and love xox
Respect! I’ve been reading your posts and love what you stand for. It’s amazing to witness the transformation that comes from pain and suffering. Nothing is wasted. The fact that everything we’ve gone through can be used for His glory-while helping others-is what fuels my fire and passions in life. What a lovely work He has done in you. Happy for you!
Hi Jaime! Aw thank you so much 🙂 you’re so right – they’re the best teacher! And amen! Nothing is ever wasted! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
This is so beautifully explained and spoken. I Absolutely feel you. 🙂
It’s great to see other women who value life and marriage as planned by God and who have been able to stand firm upon Him despite all the society’s pressures and norms.
Thank you for this!!!
Aw thank you again 🙂 amen to that!! Hugs and love xox
As a 48 year old, still holding onto her V card, I never looked at it as something precious to give a husband. (Are there guys out there who still view virginity that way?) I suppose I started off believing in saving sex for marriage because I’m a Christian (and that’s still a factor), but it’s morphed into seeing the reasons God tells us to wait for marriage. For me, it’s not about the future husband (just as well! Doesn’t look like that’s going to happen!) It’s about self-protection. Why would I be looking for a sexual relationship that’s not life-long? Why would I be looking for something that’s going to end? So then, why not wait for marriage? There’s no guarantee a marriage will last, of course, but at least marriage expresses the serious intention of both of you to see the relationship through for life. Otherwise, you have nothing but (potentially) empty promises from the person on the other end. If he’s serious about being with me for the rest of our lives, he can bloody well prove it! He can say the vows and sign the paper. At least it’s more than mere words. And I’m not giving up the V card till then. Life’s tough enough. Why invite unnecessary heartbreak? The longer I live and the more I see of the world, the more convinced I am by the wisdom of the Bible’s position on sex and marriage.
Anyway, great post! So refreshing to see there are others out there.
Speechless! 💖
Thanks 🙂 I appreciate your support! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for the link up! Hugs and love xox