7 Birthday Resolutions

Proposal:

If it’s culturally acceptable to have Christmas in July, then how about we do New Year’s in August??

hah

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Ok, maybe a bit of a stretch.

Basically, as you know, it was my birthday last weekend. And thank you all again for the wonderful birthday love!

But it got me thinking. If I want to make this next year the best yet, what are some things I’m going to definitely do, or definitely not do to facilitate that?

So. I made a list.

Because lists are fun.

And I’m a Type A personality, trapped in a Type B existence.

So. Here are my TOP 7 THINGS TO MAKE THIS YEAR THE BEST YET

1. WHEN IN DOUBT, SAY YES

Ok, so I’ve mentioned this a lot on here, but there really is something incredibly freeing about saying yes to opportunities that come your way. Whether that’s going out to dinner with friends or taking on a new assignment for work or school – life is to be lived. To the full. And spending it in isolation or routine is no way to do that.



2. LEARN THE POWER OF NO

As a “people pleaser” in recovery, I constantly have to fight the urge to try to be everything for everybody. It’s just part of my makeup – I want people to like me. I don’t want to make anyone go out of their way for me. But if I’m not careful…this can lead to people taking advantage of me and my willingness to please. Especially in the acting world where people will absolutely 100% take advantage of you if you let them. Saying “no” does not make you a “bee-eye-tee-see-ayche.” It makes you a person with self respect.

3. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

I will be the first to admit that I struggle with pride. It was my downfall. It lead to my anorexia. It is still a despicable habit that I have to keep in check. So, obviously, asking for help is not something that I necessarily enjoy doing. Especially in NYC where everyone seems to be achieving astronomically impressive feats. Sometimes, you need help with something – whether that’s needing a friend to talk to, advice on _____, asking for a person’s time, or seeking help for an addiction or fear. There is no shame in recognizing and asking for help. In fact, it shows strength.

4. LET PEOPLE IN

This is another biggie for me. And now, you may be scratching your head, seeing how recklessly open and transparent I’ve been on this blog with the things I’ve shared, but in my “offline life,” I don’t really talk about these things. I’m not super vulnerable. I don’t bring up my past. Because, truthfully, I still carry around a lot of shame about it. But this year, I want to cautiously let more people in. Because not only will it make these friendships more authentic and closer, I think it will also bring freedom and healing to me, as well.


5. LISTEN MORE. TALK LESS

No shocker here, buuuut….I’m a talker. Especially when I’m nervous or around a cute boy, I tend to *ahem* not shut up. lol

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I mean, in truth, I am a very good listener. Probably actually more so than I give myself credit – I think it’s key to a healthy relationship or friendship, so I am already mindful of that, but I want to just – be more of a listener. Because people need to feel heard. Not everyone has a blog to process daily crap…

6. DO ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT STRETCHES YOUR COMFORT ZONE

And I know, I am positively cringing typing this one out because it is just so cliche…

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But I can definitely get cozy. You know what I mean? Like … not take any risks for fear or failure or rejection or …looking stupid…

But it’s true. This year, I just want to have a “screw it” attitude and go for everything. Because you know what? Nothing awesome ever happened without a little fear of stupidity.

7. SPEND MORE INTENTIONAL TIME IN PRAYER

Last, and most importantly, I want to spend more time with God. I don’t want my prayer time to only be when I’m falling asleep or listening to worship music or a sermon podcast. I want to actually carve out some time in my schedule to hang out with God. It’s a relationship just like all the others in my life, and I need to put time into it. After all, He did bring me into existence. And die for me…So yeah, there’s that.

Okey Dokey! There you have it folks. My 7 birthday resolutions, if you will.

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Just a little housekeeping: First, speaking of being recklessly open…I’ve got a YouTube video that I’m working up the nerve to push publish on…eek! So look for that…possssssibly on Thursday. Feel free to subscribe if you want to be notified when it’s up.

Secondly, just wanted to say a big big thank you to my Patreon supporters. Seriously, I am so grateful to each one of you.

Have a great week y’all! See ya Thursday!

xox

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180 responses to “7 Birthday Resolutions”

  3. This is really good. I loved every single one of them. 😊
    I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
    Oh I have one more resolution (if you’re interested): have a little fun doing it all!
    Many blessings and much love,
    Debbie

    Reply

  5. I like the part about saying NO, because NO can can be freeing too! One doesn’t have to be everything to everyone. Pleasing others yes! If it’good and praiseworthy and pleasing to God. Our affirmations have to come from God not necessarily other people. God bless <3

    Reply

  6. Love your list! I’m a talker too. The way to turn that into listening is to use your talking by asking others about them and be curious about them.

    Reply

  8. I just love this post! I agree with them all 🙂 but some of them are sooooo hard, lol. Like the whole, letting people in thing, and stretching your comfort zone. I feel like it’s been the “staying away from” those things that has helped me keep my composure as well as my sanity these past couple of years. But, I admit, being a writer keeps me very inclusive to myself, so perhaps…just perhaps, I might try a few of these as well 🙂

    Reply

  9. Great resolutions, btw. I like em all. I’ m still trying to figure out this photo of you. Do you have the whole thing? I’m puzzled. ​

    In Jesus’ precious name Steven Sawyer stevesaw@gmail.com http://stevensawyer.wordpress.com/

    On Mon, Aug 15, 2016 at 7:00 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Proposal: If it’s culturally acceptable to have > Christmas in July, then how about we do New Year’s in August?? hah Ok, > maybe a bit of a stretch. Basically, as you know, it was my birthday last > weekend. And thank you all again for the wonderful birth” >

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Steven! Hah thank you so much:) yes! I made a video that shows my whole face:) you can check it out here: YouTube.com/c/BeautyBeyondBones Hugs and love xox

      Reply

      • Nope, still couldn’t see the rest of that picture of you with the hat. I watched both your videos. I’m just curious about the rest of you in that photo of you and the hat.

      • Okay. At least I know that’s all there is to the picture. I meant to tell you, I went back to your post about your virginity and why it is important to you. I am so thankful to find a young lady for which that is important. God will bless you and honor you with a respectful man who will be God’s perfect choice for you. I will pray for you.

      • Haha, yeah, that’s the whole shebang! And thank you so much for going back and reading it and for this beautiful encouragement. I really appreciate the prayers. God is good and I totally trust His timing. Hugs to you friend xox

  12. Happy New Year 😉 hehe x. It’s like you have gone in side my head and pick things thats in my life the ‘let people in’ part, I am totally different online than I am offline x. the comfort zone is my friend i cant leave him haha x. your words are like music a soft tone to hear with such power
    Love you lot sister x

    Reply

    • haha thanks Benjamin! 🙂 So glad you could relate 🙂 I know there;s something so …comfortable…about the comfort zone – go figure 🙂 haha thanks for your kind words! big hugs to you friend xox

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      • I have been letting more people in more but only within my church family, opening up is still hard for me but having people in my life like you is making it easier for me to open up, I have recently open my self up to someone only to have it thrown back in my face and it has been making it difficult to open up again and get help as for the prayer time i know i do it enough but it doesnt seem enough if you get what I mean x

      • Oh gosh, I’m sorry that that happened. I hope that doesn’t deter you from opening up again because your voice is important and deserves to be heard. big hugs xox

  13. Loved how your list is universal, like the church.. Belated happy birthday to you! Btw, have you heard Just Be Held by Casting Crowns? I wish that of you. ☺️

    Reply

  14. Yay for another August birthday! Happy Birthday! I love love love this list!! I know you will accomplish, and you always are accomplishing, great things!!

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  15. I absolutely loved loved loved this!!! All of these are goals I need to make for myself as well. I will continue to refer back to it when I am struggling or have eating disorder thoughts because like you said life is meant to be lived, every single minute of it <3

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  17. Great post, and solid resolutions. I would say with any resolution don’t lose heart if any fall short of perfect, another type A snare😃. Being genuine seems to sum all these up well. The world needs more genuine people, who put forth their best effort to make a lasting impact. Be genuine and may God bless you with grace and courage to see every resolution come to fruition. Oh and Thank you for the support of Transformed to His Way😉

    Chad

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Chad! haha…so true – yeah, maybe add another one about embracing failure 🙂 hah And i like that – being genuine definitely encompasses all of these. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Reply

  18. Great list! I especially like the listen more. No, that’s not a critique of your blog. I just know that people who talk little and listen lots gain a reputation as “A Great Conversationalist!”

    As a shy teenager, I worked on questioning people to get them talking so I wouldn’t have to. I learned a lot!

    About the video, doesn’t that fall under #1?!? So get on it, kiddo!!! Press the ever-lovin’ button!

    (Hint – the correct response would be…wait for it…”yes”) 🙂 🙂

    Reply

  19. I really enjoyed reading your birthday resolutions….my family actually did have a “Christmas in July” when I was a kid…it was absolutely awesome! We lived in another country for a number of years where things were not available, and we didn’t get to see my Grandparents and my Aunt because they were still in the States….so when they heard we were coming home they decided to plan a “Christmas in July” for us so that we could all celebrate the holidays that we had missed. My Grandmother had this “snowy” Christmas tree, and they got it out and set it up and put lights on the house and everything…if it weren’t for the fact that the entire neighborhood knew all about what they were doing I am sure people would have thought they were nuts! It was probably one of the best Christmas experiences that I have ever had. It was so completely in character for them, that was how they demonstrated their love for us on a regular basis…always going out of their way!

    Reply

  23. This is a great list of resolutions!

    And, yes, that clip of Jimmy Fallon dancing cracks me up. 😆 Especially the little hand wave.

    On a completely random subject jump: I was shopping downtown with my mom on Saturday and I ran across a sign for sale. It said, “A bird does not sing because he has all of the answers. A bird sings because he has a song inside of him.” I almost bought it, but I got sidetracked by something else.
    🙁 There were a couple of other signs that I really liked, but that one in particular stuck in my head.

    Reply

  25. I love this post and the idea of a birthday resolution! I’ll have to try that this year.

    I know your schedule is probably crazy busy, but I was wondering if you could give me a bit of advice or encouragement? I’m a college cheerleader (a flyer), and the pressure to be thin is oh-so-present. I’m feeling myself begin to relapse in my anorexia. What do you do when you feel like you’re slipping? I know acting is also big on pressure to be thin, so how do you deal with that?

    Thank you SO much for your time! Looking forward to the video!!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Kenny! Hmm…yeah I definitely feel you. First of all, the fact that you can recognize yourself beginning to slip is huge. That is something to be encouraged by. Because that shows that you’re aware and are able to see the red flags. Honestly, I just think about the literal hell that was my anorexia. How it robbed me of life. Relationships. Health. Time. Happiness. My HAIR! ED is literally a ROBBER and thinking about everything it stole from me makes me fired up. Makes me angry. So from a practical sense, I use that anger as motivation to stay on course. I let every meal, every time I resist any urge, whatever – I view those things as ways to actively reclaim what ED stole. But also, I try to remember that my worth is not defined by my weight or how I look or even by the fact that I’m an actor, or any other thing I may do. And I know how terribly cheesy that is, but it really helps me. I try to see myself through the eyes of the Father. Or I look at a picture of my darling 3-yr-old niece and think about, I would never subject her to the way I treated myself during my disease. I should treat myself with the same love and compassion and tenderness I would want for my niece. It’s hard. Especially when the pressures are there, and boy do I know how that pressure feels. Seriously I walk into castings are there are 6′ blond models all around. I have to literally at that point take a breath and say, “I am loved. I am beautiful because I am His. Just do the next right thing.” And then I do just that:the next right thing. Even if you have to go moment by moment. Second by second. Just do the next right thing. Sorry this was lengthy but I just so feel you. For as wonderful as cheerleading is, it can also be quite the trigger. Much like a sorority. For Greek week, I was the designated flier as well, and I definitely felt the pressure. Maybe find a teammate you can confide in as well. Be your confidant. Support system. You can do it. I 100%believe in you and am cheering for you! 😍❤️

      Reply

      • This was so beyond helpful! Thank you for taking the time to write so much! I really love the “do the next right thing.” That was one of my favorite posts from you I must have forgotten about. Thank you for speaking truth into my life! <3

  30. Happy Belated Birthday! I loved the post and I definitely want to try stepping out of my comfort zone sometime or the other 🙂

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  32. What a fantastic idea! You’ve picked some great stuff to add to your list. My birthday is in October and I may have to borrow this idea.

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  33. Lots of wisdom there sista! God is using you to touch a lot of hearts. I believe in His time that influence will increase but in the meantime enjoy the ride!!

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  37. I absolutely love this!! I am also a people pleaser, and basically all of these things I feel I need to work on this year as well! Thank you for making this! Ilysm! And yes be rad! 🙂

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  39. Caroline (do you spell like this or Carolyn?) , I enjoyed your vidoes and this is a great birthday idea. I could have written most of the same goals. I will be interested to know if you can do #6 daily. I have been trying to step outside the usual, but do to it daily would be tough. Another idea is to review how you have accomplished your goals 6 months out. Really enjoy your blog.

    Reply

  40. Did I tell you happy birthday? If not….Happy Birthday!
    I like that shot of you and the Freedom Tower behind you 🙂

    I disagree with #6 on stretching every day. As a sports analogy, remember that there are rest periods, recovery that leads to strength. And you don’t do the same exercise each day, because that leads to limited muscles. Finally….it’s such a stretch that failing it is bound to happen and then it stops being meaningful. Maybe change it to do something stretchworthy each month to start?

    And my problem when I do #1….I want to regret whenever it fails to meet my unrealistic expectation. Make sure you give yourself the grace to accept that some of the things you say yes to aren’t going to turn out like you planned,but don’t sweat it. It’s still an experience (I learned that lesson last summer on a bumpy vacation….but it was the first vacation I planned all on my own and that made it a good experience!)

    Don’t melt this week 😀

    Reply

    • Haha thank you so much Jeff! Yeah NYC really photographs well. Those are some really great insights-thanks for that perspective. You’re right-giving yourself grace to mess up is good too. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Reply

  41. Great post 🙂 Even If you do not achieve every single resolution, what matters in the end are the ones that you did achieve. Even when I make a list of resolutions I want to achieve, I only end up achieving some, but in the end, it is no big deal, but it is great to see determination 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂 And once again, Happy Birthday 🙂

    Reply

  49. I sincerely apologize for having to use your comment section like this (I’m sorry) but I recently made Valentine’s Fall official like BBB; It has it’s own domain now. Do you have any advice on how to grow my audience? You’re like the queen of WP.

    Reply

  51. You are an incredibly vibrant writer. But there were two things that sorta made me go… hmm.

    One was the thing about not being effective if you’re alone. I think some people can find God and meaning without being overly social. They may not wear monastic robes and thus might have a harder time being understood in society. But they can be just as – if not more -spiritual than a monk.

    And that relates to the other thing…

    Now what was it? Oh yeah. For me God isn’t just A relationship but THE relationship. It’s a near constant awareness that carries thru the entire day. I do pray conventionally to some degree but, seriously, I think we can pretty much always have God in mind while going about our business. Some people need Rosaries and other structured prayers. I dig that. But for me they sometimes just get in the way. Too many words…

    Again… nice vibrant writing. I hope some of it rubs off on me! 🙂

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for this reflection. I love what you said about prayer too. Having God be constantly in your mind throughout the day. I definitely can relate to that too-I guess I was just meaning more intentional time , that all 🙂 and great point about people’s social preferences. Very true. Thanks for reading. Hugs and love xox

      Reply

      • Hey, sometimes I can get a little preachy. Maybe it’s time for me to take another “seekers reality check!” 🙂 Truth is, when I am in relationships they take up a lot of time and thought. I’ve been solo for several years after being with someone for several years. I am a different creature, to some degree, in each situation. So I really should have remembered what it’s like to be preoccupied with another… their problems, their demands, the joys and the rewards. I understand what you were saying! 🙂

      • Oh my gosh no worries! Seriously I love hearing your thoughts and perspectives! They always provide some great food for thought. So keep sharing! 👍👍👍

  52. I have a serious issue on the letting people in department. I’ve always had tons of friends but very few of them seem to KNOW me. Right now I am still hiding behind my new alias. It is part of my finding myself/healing process and I hope to show who I am one day too. 😘😘

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  53. I love #7! I mean I love all your resolutions and I think those are all things i definitely struggle with and am working on! But something I have found helpful in praying everyday (because my schedule is not the same everyday) is having a journal you really like and then reading the daily mass readings or a book. I have a massive book list but to help with that daily relationship with the Lord I’ve found books by Fr Mike Gaitley to be the most helpful, especially consoling the heart of Jesus. He makes living lit our faith in daily life seem so simple 🙂 praying for you sister!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much! That’s a really terrific idea! Thanks for sharing that. ill definitely try that out this week. And awesome! I’ll look him up! Big hugs to you friend xox

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  54. Happy belated birthday!!!! To your seven resolutions – um, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, YES! I love this post! I love your insights, your honesty, and your clarity. These are seven things that I need to cultivate in my life, too, and I feel so encouraged and inspired when I read your insights. Thank you!

    Reply

  55. Here is a type of post I was talking about in the message I sent back earlier where I can help you by giving insight on a couple of the paragraphs, As to what my life was like, for instance. This post here is a more recent point of trouble in my life,https://lifeswondersblog.wordpress.com and how i am trying to deal with it in the recent post as you seen in today’s post, some areas may also help you start your journey in opening your self to others. Peace of free advice it helps to let it out whether it is to a person you know or a person you come to know through other channels, such as places like here and support groups,ect..
    However be safe about it.

    Reply

  56. Augh! Cringing about lists! But I do see the benefit of the practice. And as far as saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’, I shall refer you to my crumbsnatchers…😂😂😂

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  59. Happy belated birthday and I love the 7 Birthday Resolutions a lot (:
    I really enjoy your writing style and your view on different things. It’s very refreshing to read, you inspired me while reading this and you really can feel a twinkle in your eye… lovely and inspiring and vibrant (:

    Reply

  64. Happy Birthday! Wishing you all the best life has to offer in the upcoming year and in all the years ahead. I’m so sorry I didn’t express this in a timelier manner. Sorry, too, that I’ve missed reading your honest, heartfelt blogs. Thanks for reading / liking what I posted earlier today.

    Reply

  67. “Regarding your comment or question about New Year’s in August — … sure, would love to celebrate New Year’s in August. That’d be so nice, going out there to celebrate and having all that nice weather instead of freezing ..in December/January” — artfromperry

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  68. This is moved me. I love the steps, especially Prayer. My father passed away tragically in April, and I felt and feel so broken that I pray because it’s all that I know how to do to try to heal. My dad was my best friend, and the most wonderful person. He brought me closer to God, he brought me to church. Losing him, I lost myself. I am trying to grief but realizing he is gone is too much to bare. Thank you for these special wishes! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Reply

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