Don’t Call Me Princess

I was very much a child of the nineties.

I sported a side pony. Ate dunkeroos. Danced the Macarena. Enjoyed non-Pixar Disney movies, and crushed HARD on Aaron Carter.

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But I was also a “Christian” nineties kid: I went to a faith based sleep away camp every summer where comedian Brian Regan was right up there with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I knew all the Steven Curtis Chapman and Michael W. Smith songs. Had Precious Moments figurines. And, like most 90’s Christian girls: I read Captivating. Twice, actually.

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And let me just say: that is a great book. I would, and do, recommend it to everyone. Heck, I even lead a bible study on it in college.

But, if you’re unfamiliar with that book, the main take away is that, as women, we are precious, delighted-in, daughters of the King. Princesses.

And as this book has been meaningful in my life, it made the cut of things I brought with me to NYC. It’s currently on my bookshelf in my apartment, which is saying a lot, knowing the premium there is for space here.

But I have to be totally honest about something.

I never really bought into the whole “princess thing.”

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Not that I didn’t believe that I am a daughter of God, but I just never truly believed that I was princess material.

Being a product of the nineties, princesses were a big deal. Belle. Ariel. Jasmine. Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty. Snow White. To have “princess status” meant something.

Not only were you aesthetically flawless with a waist proportionally smaller than the width of your neck…

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…but you also had a spotless record. You were unblemished, in every sense of the word.

So hearing that I was God’s princess…not only did it make my eyes roll at the cheesiness a little bit, but it also gave me a pang of disappointment in my spirit.

Because I was not princess material. 

I had things in my past that disqualified me from a princessed existence.

And as I got older, honestly, I would think about the things that I went through, and think to myself – Clearly, God doesn’t think I’m a princess either, seeing what He allowed to happen in my life.

When I think about a princess, I think about an untouched, porcelain doll-like girl, who gets the world handed to her on a silver rose gold platter. There is no trouble. No friction. No obstacles. Just a luxurious and privileged existence.

And come on, who can say they know what that’s like?

As we’ve seen recently, even Taylor Swift has to deal with unpleasantries every now and then.

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That’s not real life. As they say, $h!* happens and life gets messy, to say the least.

And so, hearing that I’m a princess, it would almost make me angry. It’d make me think, That’s just not true! I’ve had to fight to become who I am. It wasn’t handed to me. The person I’ve become is the result of a lot of literal blood, sweat, and tears. And grace. 

Being called a princess – that felt cheap. Patronizing. Fake. Disingenuous.

If I were anything, it would be a warrior princess.

A feminine fortress. A female fighter. A girlie gladiator. (lol who says that?!)

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God equipped me with the grace to get through those times in my life. Those non-princess moments.

And He delighted in my perseverance.

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That’s what I’ve come to peace with from that book. That’s how I’ve had to reframe it in my mind. Not that I’m some fragile princess, sitting on a plush, velvet pillow, but that I am delighted in. All of me. All of my past. All of my short comings. All of my seasons of trial and error. He delights in me because He so loves me.

And you know what that also does? It takes the pressure off. It gives me freedom to embrace the realness of who I am, who I was, and who I’m becoming.

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I don’t have to be princess material. I don’t have to have a past that could be delightfully depicted as a Disney movie.

I just have to be me. A girl who loves God, and who is loved by God, despite my fears and failures.


I am delighted in. And so are you.

 

 

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270 responses to “Don’t Call Me Princess”

  2. Yup yup yup! Totally relate to the princess angle 😛 And you’re completely right: He delights in us beyond all logic 🙂 It’s awesome!

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  3. With all due respect, it is a good thing you’ve gotten over the princess mythology. Read some history of real-world princesses. They are stories of old men with power from other feudal states buying their way into a monarchy to (1) increase their personal power, (2) merge whatever power they already had with the monarch-with-princess-daughter, and (3) get to marry someone in their teens and (hopefully) “sire” children who would be shared relatives with the monarch and the lucky noble with the unlucky princess. Sure, this is not how the fairy tales work out. There’s a Prince Charming that does various tasks to free the princess from a tower, a witch’s spell, a Rumpelstiltskin (whatever that is), a bloated, doddering, gout-ridden noble, etc. It may have happened – I don’t know ALL the stories of ALL the monarchs and princesses – but that was the general pattern. The princess was chattel to be traded for power.
    The message? Run away from any myth that places you in the princess role (as you say you have done). Just be the best version of yourself you can be.
    Kind regards, MSOC

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  4. Love this & it’s really fascinating to realize that all of the princesses young girls looked up to set such unrealistic expectations and Inevitable disappointment. I love to see how far we’ve come and to realize we can be imperfect and still loved and worth it! Great post love💕

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    • P. S. On a more personal note, it has actually done me immensely good to be able to accept myself as a child of the king … not necessarily to call myself a “prince,” because that sounds and feels kind of weird, but to know that the sovereign God of the Universe is my Abba Father is absolutely amazing! 🙂

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  7. I love this post. I had a tough childhood, but one thing that really blessed me was that I had access to old fashioned fairy tales. None of this modern Disney stuff, the real authentic princesses, the ones who live most of their lives under a curse or in exile, years of struggle that build their character, that transform them into actual princesses worthy of inheriting a kingdom. Some of those tales are downright tragic, but they are powerful, they speak to the truth and reality of the human experience. It’s sad to me that we’ve lost that, because being a princess really is about having grace under fire and becoming someone who can really wear that crown.

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    • Thanks for this reflection, friend. Yeah there’s something really powerful about those old tales. I’m so glad that they were with you through your childhood. Grace under fire is definitely a terrific trait to have. Hugs and love xox

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  8. Nice read. Without question, you have very good writing skills and style. When I read this article, though, I’ll be candid, I saw a flawed, perhaps damaged and vulnerable, self-esteem. And that’s neither good nor bad, because none of us are perfect… You know, princess material. But what I’d offer up to you, in perspective and for some “pondering”, is that the whole idea of being a princess, isn’t as much as how you view yourself, but rather, how you feel inside your heart, because God treats you like a princess… With unconditional Love, Mercy, Grace and Forgiveness. He has already paid the price for our sin, individually and collectively. His Kingdom in heaven is our inheritance, as Christians and His children. It is guaranteed to us, and it is but ours to accept. Yes, we must pray, follow His rules, and certainly repent in a sincere manner when we sin… But when God forgives our sin…. It is forgiven in a complete and unquestionable manner. In essence, what I’m saying, is to not be too hard on yourself, and understand and acknowledge that is perfectly fine to allow yourself to feel like the Princess that God sees you as… Abandon the guilt, the feelings of inferiority, and of shame… Rejoice in all that you were, are and have yet to become. Rejoice that you know God and accept Him as your Savior. Be blessed.
    -Michael

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  9. I had to stop mid-read when you mentioned Brian Regan. When you shared your name with the BBB community a couple weeks ago, I immediately thought of Regan’s Caro-line vs Caro-lynn routine!

    “Wild at Heart” probably had an equally similar effect on many millennial Christian boys…

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  12. I was wondering if you have ever heard of/listened to For King and Country? They have a new song out and ‘Princess’ made me think about it- the song is titled PRICELESS 🙂 and there is a movie coming out-same topic, same name, October I think. Here is a link to the song on God Tube,
    http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=YLWK7PNX, which is kind of corny but cute! The lyrics are the great thing about this song.

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  13. While you were singing along with the best and going to Christian camp in the 90’s, I was listening to rock music and going out. As we read in 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV): 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! I’m a Princess not in the world’s eyes – or Disney’s -I’m a new creation in Christ. WOW! What a great write you have here.

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  16. I always played queen when I was a little girl. I felt like being a princess in the real world would be tougher…there’s a lot of pressure and also a lot of isolation in some cases. I think warrior princess is just as elegant of a title for you. Your blog always leaves me feeling refreshed. It’s very real and refreshing and I hope you grow a lot this year and experience a lot of wonderful things.

    Sending A Million and One Joyful Blessings,

    Brie

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  18. Very interesting! I’ve never read that book, but I want to now! I feel like if I were a princess I would be more like the awkward Mia from the Princess Diaries haha. My understanding of being God’s princess is that it isn’t anything at all that I’ve done, but rather Jesus’s royal and holy blood that makes me special. God bless you xoxo

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    • Hey Emily! Yeah it really is a great read. Haha oh my gosh I love that movie! So true. His Blood is precious and healing and makes us new. Thanks for stopping by. Sending massive hugs xox

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  20. Have I mentioned that I just absolutely adore your writing? I laugh EVERY time I read your posts & am just in awe at the grace you have shown through your journey. Like seriously, wow. I can’t think of anything God would have blessed you with more than your gift of writing! This post was awesome (as usual) & I totally agree!

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    • Aw thank you so much Claire:) I’m so glad it makes you smile:) that’s my end goal!! Haha seriously though, your kind words bring warmth to my heart, so thank you. and thank you for reblogging my post! Sending massive massive hugs xox

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  21. Hello my friend well well well I would have to say that is your best blog yet. Like yourself I grew up in the 90s so I know every reference that you just put in your blog. But unlike yourself I didn’t look too Disney princesses I looked to Faith Sports to fulfill of 08 and when I say fake Sports I think you know what I mean it’s just another thing the devil uses to make people idolize something to take their eyes off the Lord. As people we all go through trials and tribulations some Christians go through more then others. I have gone through my fair share and I’m certainly sure that you have gone through your fair share but I want you to remember these simple words never forget your deliverance never forget what God has done for you in the past no matter the trial no matter the tribulation never forget what God has done for you. You’re very smart so I’m sure you don’t ever forget that subscribing to your blog has been a blessing to me every time I get an opportunity to read your thoughts makes me appreciate your faith in God even more. I am so pleased to share biblical Insight with you and others around the world. I’m happy to call you friend Carolyn. speaking of college I have something I want to show you as a journalism student years ago I had my friend write a news report on this very subject of Disney princesses. once I got over the fact that she had Hollywood blue eyes it turned out to be a great story. Maybe you should check it out sometimeIf you want I could send you the link. Oh also I have a suggestion for your video blog series since the night you talked about Disney Princesses I have a question for you that you could answer view your YouTube blog one sentence thumbs up the question. how does an and system of beliefs in God?

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    • Thank you so much Anthony! You’re always so kind and generous in your encouragement. I so appreciate it. I’m glad that you enjoyed this post. What’s your question? I’d love to answer it! Hugs and love xox

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      • How does a Christian maintain your status in Hollywood? The reason I ask this is because I see so many famous Hollywood actors turning to Christianity but yet there in like sports and worldly talk shows and I don’t get it because the word of God says come out from among them and I will receive you be ye separate from the world even further than that. The word of God says those in the world are an enemy to God. Now it’s obvious to me that your face is very important in your life I’m not calling you an enemy of God in fact I think you had better Wheels the most Christians do today. My question is how does an actress or actor in Hollywood who is a Christian maintain their beliefs in God even more than that how do they choose roles that please God bookmark hops is a question I should ask David AR White the co-founder of Pure Flix

      • That’s a great question. I think you just have to keep your eyes on God and remember your priorities. And you have to make decisions, keeping your faith in mind. I have had to turn down many roles because they go against my beliefs and moral reasons. Yeah, I have wanted to get involved with Pure Flix for a long time. Great question.

      • Remember Anthony prays for you. My second thought is that you’re not a princess that is defined by two cartoon you are a child of God a member of the bride of Christ you peace with God because you more than anybody knows that your Rose of Sharon and Lily of the Valley is always Jesus. I will pray for you always no matter what.

      • Thank you for thinking I’m generous but really I’m just a man it’s easy to show love to others when you realize how much love Jesus has shown me when I came in to that realization for myself I noticed that I had a great responsibility to share the love of God abroad within the hearts of all people no matter what. There’s no getting the love of God in their hearts. If there was more people that had the love of God in their hearts there into the kingdom of God and less Souls going the opposite way

      • That’s a great response I’m so proud of you. If you want to get involved in. Let’s just write them a letter send them an email send them to the photos and the script get in touch with him via Twitter. I make jokes to them all the time just to see if they’re paying attention. I want to ask if they’re going to do Jonah Bible based movie. I gave them one suggestion if they’re looking for a whale they should call SeaWorld. But seriously we need Bible movie this is the last hour the Noah movie was a flop Exodus gods and Kings didn’t even make sense.. in fact when I watch the movie I want to walk out of the theater because it took the power of God away and it gave it to the alligators as the reason the water in the Nile river turned to blood you know what I’ll pray that you a roll with Pure Flix because that’s really the only thing I watch these days best Canadian which means it’s very hard for me to watch Pure Flix movies in Canada but I do it. I also like the old Biblical movies like the Ten Commandments staring Charlton Heston I also like the movie one night with the King depicting the story of Esther. I’ve talked enough now I have probably exhausted you. Like I said I get excited when I get to talk to someone about faith in God because I’m the only one in my family serving God. Some have asked me how do I do it? the answer I give them is how is Abel able to do it? let this thought of God singing to you right now Cain’s brother Abel was surrounded by a family of sinners and yet he serve God. He even made it to the faith chapter in Hebrews chapter 11

      • Indeed there’s no one in the world that cares for you like Jesus cares for you there’s no one in the world that loves you like he loves you Jesus Heaven Sent to heal the sick make the blind to see set the captives free and yes even we.

  23. I didn’t grow up on Disney princesses – I watched Aladdin and Mulan a lot, but that was about it. I *still* haven’t seen Snow White, Cinderella, or even Anastasia. Probably because I have 7 brothers haha. I did grow up on Ice Age and Shrek and various action movies and (a) I had a massive crush on Diego from Ice Age (the sabre tooth tiger) and (b) was always massively disappointed that the lead characters in action flicks were always men. Always. If they did have a tough female character in there, she was invariably clad in tight-fitting leather and a push-up bra. (Lara Croft and Black Widow, anyone?) And don’t get me wrong, I’m kind of a girly girl. But I don’t want to be a princess either. At least not the way they’re presented in movies. I don’t want to be a princess who surprises everyone because she can use a sword, either. She’s a girl?????!!!! And yet she fights???!!!!! Anyway I’m kind of losing track of what my point was. If I had a point. I can’t remember. I’m rambling. Someone stop me.
    Also, I read Captivating years ago, and some parts of it really resonated with me, but some parts kind of…jarred. I remember one passage where the woman who co-wrote it – sorry I can’t remember her name – was telling the story of how she went canoeing with her family and she felt really vital and important because she had to work really hard and it was the most she had felt alive (or words to that effect). And I remember thinking that didn’t really gel with me. It kind of seemed like a rehashing of Wild At Heart. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are lots of women out there who love the outdoors. But it just didn’t seem like a really good example of the strength of femininity, especially since this woman had children. Now obviously I don’t think women HAVE to have children. But I think if you do, then they’re an important part of your life. One of the most important. And I think motherhood is a huge, huge part of femininity. I didn’t understand why she didn’t mention her children when she was talking about times in her life when she had felt important and vital. She didn’t mention her children much at all, from memory. I don’t know. It kind of bothered me. I didn’t even have kids when I read it, but I do know, and let me tell you, it’s no walk in the park. Giving birth is insane. INSANE. I’ve done it three times without drugs (which I don’t really understand) and it takes an enormous amount of strength to do something like that. Not bragging, just fact. I mean my second son was 8lb!
    Although I also remember that the author of Captivating had suffered through two abortions (I think). And it didn’t sound like she had really received much healing from it. So I kind of wondered at the time if there was some part of her – some connection to motherhood, or her femininity, that she was still cut off from because of what she had been through.
    I think she just didn’t seem healed to me. She didn’t seem like she was really recovered from her depression, or that she really believed she was worthy, or that she was really connected to her feminine self. I guess I kind of wondered why she was writing a book to help other women on this journey when she hadn’t necessarily figured it out herself. Not to say that you can’t give advice unless you’re perfect, of course. More like I couldn’t really trust her advice if she was still unhappy, because she could have been barking up the wrong tree the entire time.
    Also I remember her saying one or two negative things about Catholicism which bothered me.
    I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
    Also sorry this is so long/rambling/hope I haven’t said anything wrong.
    Also I love your blog and think you’re super cool and amazing and almost couldn’t believe you were Catholic because you seemed way too normal haha.

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    • Oh my gosh thank you so much for this response, Medeleine! there is so much life in your words, I love it! Yeah I totally feel you about the princesses. A girl with a sword?!! Gasp! But it’s true. I think that’s why the hunger games were such a hit-because there was such a strong and normal female character. Seriously such great thoughts here. Thanks for giving me a lot to think about tonight! And for your kind words about my blog! BIg big hugs to you friend xox

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  24. I love the way you worked through this – from rejecting the concept of yourself as “princess material” to understanding that whatever you are is because of who your Father is, and you are indeed the daughter of a King. Well done – and beautifully written. Thank you!

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  25. There’s an ease of expression and a rhythm in how you write. I enjoy reading your posts, and appreciate your candor. You stated your take on the Princess thing as only a New Yorker would. Your humor was timely for me today. Thanks… daughter Blessed and highly favored!
    Be Blessed & Be Well my friend.

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  26. I really like this post. I think you are right about being princesses or princes in this world. Most of us are not faultless, but you are making differences in people’s lives whether you realize it or not. Just an observation, from one writer to another, you are an inspiration and thank you. God bless you dear sister.

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  27. Interesting thought about your view on princesses. I never saw myself as too flawed to be a princess. But, the one I can never imagine is being a saint – logically, I know that saints were sinners, but emotionally, there is a HUGE disconnect, and I don’t find any similarity between myself and them!

    But, the one thing that stands true is we are God’s children, and we should all strive to make Him happy! Because He loves us all dearly.

    Thanks for your (as always) fabulous post!!

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    • Thank you so much! I so feel you there. And amen to that-we really do have a loving Father and there is such comfort in that truth. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  30. Just Wow… I wish other girls could grasp this concept. Disney has actually stuffed princess concept into girl’s minds and in a way it is not healthy.. not in this world.. great post..

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  31. I LOVE how you said God delights in perseverance. I have always had a hard time with the princess thing too…I even have a devotional that was given to me for my daughters about how they are princesses of a King and to me it’s like I don’t want them to relate having to look perfect and materialism with God at all. It’s pretty confusing. Our world definitely has a different defintion of “princess” than I’m sure our heavenly father does!

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    • Thanks Jami! Yeah that’s definitely something about the princess aspect that seemed troublesome to me as well. I think you’re right-He’s got a different definition. He’s looking at our hearts:) sending huge hugs! Xox

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  33. Great post 🙂 While their is nothing wrong with loving the princess characters of Disney movies, trying to be completely like that character is impossible and in real life, it is who somebody is on the inside that counts. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

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  34. I think you are hitting the nail on the head when you list all the reasons why princess by one definition (the world’s/Disney) is very unappealing, BBB. However, I encourage you to dig deeper in exploring why Abba Father wants His daughters in Christ (who is also called Prince of Peace) to see their royalty through His eyes.

    Its uncanny how much I relate to your perspective on the world’s and Disney’s definition of a princess. In fact, I’ve met a lot of gasps and annoyed expressions (condemnation) from some women in my life because I quietly boycott Disney princess movies, lol. I don’t count it against them, but I am not persuaded that they are harmless to the absorbent minds of young girls–or boys, for that matter.

    I also very intimately relate to your desire to see yourself as a warrior princess. In fact, I experienced this amazing prayer vision in which Jesus said to me, “My brave little warrior princess.” I’ll add that the circumstance I was in juxtaposed His words like all get out. Ha!

    But, our God is a warrior God and we are His daughters, adopted through and in Christ Jesus. The word tells us that we are a royal priesthood. We are co-heirs to the throne of heaven. We are in Christ, bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. These words are not just flowery poetry. They are in fact our true reality.

    I believe the Eldredges were spot on in Captivating when they discussed how the root attack of the enemy against men and women.

    In one form or another, the enemy attacks our sense of loveliness as women, our worth and value. For men, its in whether or not they have what it takes to be a man. And. Before reading this book, I spent years (like over a decade) not following God’s ways–like not even confessing to be a Christian. I saw this attack manifested in my life and the lives of so many men and women around me–literally blew my mind.

    All this getting stoked to say, “Mami chula, you ARE a warrior princess because our Daddy God says so! Its in fact our truest reality.”

    In HIM, forever eva <3

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    • Thank you so much for this powerful reflection, JT. you’re right-the Eldredges really did do a fantastic job with that book. But it’s true-there really are two definitions of princesses that can seem at odd with each other: the worldly and then the divine. We are children of the King, so we might as well claim the truth. Thanks for giving me some great food for thought. Hugs and love xox

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  43. I’ve never liked being called a princess either. But my reason was princess to me meant love struck girly girl. I grew up a tomboy and knew princess wasn’t who I was.

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    • Thank you so much, yeah I can definitely see that definition come to mind given the portrayal in movies. At the end of the day, all we need to remember is that we’re deeply loved:) thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

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    • Hi friend! No, I haven’t read it…only because I thought it was just for guys. Maybe I should. Perhaps that’s why I’m single…haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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      • I strongly recommend it! You’re clearly NOT a man, but you interact with men on a regular basis; you meet one of the two criteria for reading Wild at Heart. It will give you insight into what every man is, or has been, internally contending with, just as Captivating did for me about women.

        I can’t guarantee the book will help you snag a man, but a there’s something sexy about a girl who understands guys! We appreciate being known and understood, too; it just looks different.

  45. It’s funny…when I read Captivating (yes, I’m one of many men who read it hoping to pick up some secrets), “Warrior Princess” is exactly what I thought Stasi was trying to describe!

    And let us never forget…in God’s eyes, we are all royalty. All unblemished, all fit to rule with him and under him. “The self you loathe is on the cross in Christ.” – Watchmen Nee

    Thanks for this!

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  47. I think of it as God delighting in His children. Even many earthly fathers are able to call their daughters, “Princess”. Not because they are princesses in the sense of being perfect, unblemished or regal but because they are precious in their father’s eyes regardless. It is so much more with God. We are so precious to Him that He sent His perfect Son to die for us. And that love is what lifts us up.

    But you know, you are indeed a warrior princess and that is wonderful.

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  48. It’s very easy to get caught up in the cultural idea of what a good Christian is. Funny thing, though: cultural ideas change with cultures…what do you know? It took moving to a different country for me to really see that. Glad you have realized He delights in you just because. 🙂

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  50. great word, honest and thought provoking. We truly need to define ourselves by God’s ideas not the worlds (or walt disneys:). and i think… God, in general has a lot different definitions for things than we do. What makes us a “princesses” isn’t really about us, or what we do, or how we do it, it’s about who our father is !

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    • Thank you so much Inkhorn! You’re right-god’s definition is the singular most important. Ahh I love that-our “princess-ness” isn’t about who we are, but who He is! Oh my gosh that is brilliant! Thanjs for reading! Hugs and love xox

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      • I love your comment about being a warrior Princess. I spent my whole childhood and teenage years as a mixed race child whose hair wouldn’t grow wanting to be like the golden haired princesses in the fairy tales. These fantasies actually made me very ill. My life with self-harm bulimia rampant cocaine addiction could not be depicted as a Disney movie. But I am a recovery warrior Princess as I have overcome so much. Warrior princesses come in different shapes and sizes including being five foot two and having Afro hair. I am back to praying almost every day and had a fabulous phone prayer session with the Priest who taught me a course on Christianity. I am going to call him back next week as the prayer session was so powerful. I think I have my faith back which makes life in 12 Step a hell of a lot easier..

      • Hi Caroline, thank you for sharing this. Yes, would are a warrior princess! A beautiful, strong and kind hearted survivor. And I admire that so much. I’m so glad that session went well! That brings my heart so much joy:) sending so so much love and hugs xox

  53. I have to disagree. Pardon the partial comments…but here it comes. We all know you well by now that you deserve to be called princess more than any royalty walking this earth. You are a notch above all I have seen. And I think Jesus agrees. He donated His blood to buy you. Not just a pint. All of it. Happy weekend!

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    • Thank you so much for this thoughtful and encouraging response, my friend. Wow-what an incredibly kind thing to say. Yes, His blood bought you and I and everyone-even in our imperfect state. He deemed us worthy. Hallelujah. Thanks for stopping by. Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  54. I’m right there with ya! Never ascribed to the princess title either. But God’s unyielding love has a way of changing our perspective, doesn’t it? 🙂 Btw- I love Captivating! Def one my daughter’s will get as they grow older! Beautiful post!

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  55. Great post and a great message.
    You are a Princess, a daughter of God. As are all women!
    It’s us that has the wrong view of what it means to be a princess, especially with the views of a princess in the world such as in Disney. We go through struggles and tough times but being a Prince or Princess is, just like our salvation, isn’t a title you earn. It is one that you are born into and by being born again we are children of God, born into his royal family.
    We just need to be who we are, we are automatically a Prince/Princess no matter what.

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    • Thanks friend. I think you’re right-we have nothing to do with that Title. It was bestowed upon us when Jesus took to the cross. Thank you for this powerful perspective. Hope you have a great weekend! Big hugs! Xox

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  56. I love that you chose to use the term “Warrior Princess”. My Dad was the first one to teach it to me, and my sisters and I have used it ever since. (My boyfriend even uses it in reference to me. 🙂 ) God designed us to be fighters – heck, I was named after a woman who killed a general and saved the people of Israel. The cool thing is, we were designed to fight for His kingdom. Be it through fighting for our children’s heritage and education, or fighting for His name to be spread in the work place…..or even by fighting ourselves and surrendering to the King. (Something I had to learn the hard way.) I think using those terms can bring greater encouragement to girls – that is what I want to be….I intend to call my daughters the same.

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  59. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Yes this is soo good. Thank you for sharing- I grew up the exact same s you and this totally resonates with me. <3 <3

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  60. I love how you pointed out that He delights in your perseverance. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to not just passively wait for magic from heaven in response to my prayers. I love that God loves to do REAL LIFE with us. That is where the intimacy of our relationship with Him grows ❤️

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  64. I love virtually anything the Eldredge family publishes! God fathered me through some very bleak and dark times and places with Wild At Heart (the masculine companion to Captivating) and Fathered By God – such Spirit-breathed stuff! Anyway, onward!
    I agree, and I don’t, but it’s not really about that 😉 Of course I’ll add to the noise totally debunking your “non-princess material” mishmash, but the truth is (and I know you know it but who gets tired of hearing it again?) Jesus took your death, and your un-princessly-ness and your muck and guck and he gave you his character back–everything he deserves, you deserve. That’s how you became a princess. And just an aside about what he did, somehow religion has prettified the reality out of Jesus’ death, it was the most gruesome, torturous thing, I was reading in Psalms 22 where David prophecies about how Jesus would die and it was so utterly…utter…he says ‘my heart melts like wax in the midst of my bowels,’ I’ve heard some people say he was heart-broken to death.

    BUT what’s even more important than that, is that Jesus didn’t stay dead, or heart-broken. He came back victorious with power over death and hell and he gave us that power which we receive in baptism of water and the Holy Spirit. And then he sat down at the right hand of God. Boom. No more work, because everything was finished. Except that there needed to be a few more rooms in his house for us, of course. And it’s that rest where the Beauty of the Lord (and where the beauty of a woman) becomes captivating. And yeah. I totally get where you’re coming from, life is $#!*-real, the church is full of warrior princesses. And I think that’s a good and desirable identity. And maybe I’m not disagreeing as much as adding, but there’s a deeper part of the identity of everyone that has got to be rooted in an identity of rest, no more striving to get what we already have, no ‘slaving’ like the prodigal brother for what he already had access to in the Father’s house…because you being a princess (and clearly Disney’s definition isn’t an accurate depiction 😉 ) and me being a prince, irregardless of how far off we were to begin with or how much sludge he had to part for us to pass through, that’s what Jesus died to accomplish, and he said it was finished 2000-some years ago and as long as it’s called Today the most foundational position is, Rest.

    Another excellent post, all-around (:
    Happy Friday!

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    • Hi Carson! Wow thank you for this awesome reflection. You always have such a profound and heartfelt perspective and I so appreciate hearing it. You’re so right though-despite my muck and guck, Jesus says I am His and that’s all that matters. And yes, it’s hard to imagine a scene more horrific than the scene from the passion, but it’s true. What a gift. A selfless and awe-inspiring gift. Have a great weekend. Hugs and love xox.

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  66. On some point on the way to becoming a queen, you stop thinking of yourself as a princess.

    Here’s hoping you meet a prince that’s also ready for that transition!

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  67. Haha! Several months ago, I was sooooo surprised when I saw a new follower on my twitter account and guess who?! It’s Aaron Carter.. If he’s still the same Aaron that I used to have a crush on, I would die.. But now, I was like really??? Aaron Carter?? Hahahaha

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      • Yeah! I had to share it on my FB page and my friends were like.. Maybe he’s bored or needs more followers?? Hahaha but hey! He was really cute before.. Now I have his song in my head now playing ( I got a crush on you) haha

  70. Great post! Definitely something that needs consideration and reflection. While “Disney Princess” is not the ideal to strive for, there are virtues to being a princess. Christine de Pizan was a medieval author (one of the first female authors!!) who wrote a book called Treasure of the City of Ladies all about living a virtuous life as a royal/someone higher up in the world. She talks of wisdom, prudence, faithfulness, and it’s also very practical. There are expectations, of course, but that’s because virtue requires them. God does not love us any less when we choose not to be virtuous, or see us as any less of his precious daughters. But we strive (try, often poorly) for the ideal! Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts! God bless!

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    • How interesting! Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s an awesome perspective. I want to read her book! It sounds pretty fascinating. And very true too. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  71. I understand, but I’m still going to refer to my daughters as princesses, warped tiaras or not. To me the label does not reflect Disney-like perfection, only inherent value and standing – which is given by God.

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  72. A true princess is also a Warrior, one with the ability & voice to fight for others. A princess does not wear glass slippers or are treated as a fragile doll. True Princesses are the ones who lead.

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  77. You go girl! I think you will like the post I just put up about Paul and Silas being released from the prison in Philipi: Freedom, not from the world, but to go into the world. Keep ministering, Princess.
    Oscar

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  79. Beauty, you don’t have to look like a princess to be a one. You were created by God in his own image. The movies that you see are created by man. What man creates is why alot of people get the wrong impression of others. I have two expressions and I try to pass these on to all who like you in this post mentioned looking like a princess. ” 1. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. 2. It’s is the inside of the person that counts.
    This post inspired me for my next post so I will have a link on mine redirecting them to yours.

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  82. ED Warrior Princess 😛 maybe we should call you Zelda hehe. sorry I’m in such a weird mood at this moment in time which makes a change, I’m having to fight the return of the severe depression its a struggle but I got some amazing encouragement from church family today, I know I take encouragement from you also which is an amazing help, I hope you enjoyed you day. lots of love to you Sis x

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  83. YES YES YES!!! I have always squirmed whenever hearing others tell their children or kids at church that they were princesses, and even worse God’s princesses. I share the same thoughts as you, Im glad I’m not the only one.

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  84. Oh goodness. I praise Jesus for you, Carolyn, really.
    I have needed this right now. For a long time, I have always, even today, lived the lie that I need to be a certain way for Jesus to accept me. It’s led to legalism, and a lot of fear, way back when other living factors created a mess of me, and a very wrong view of who Jesus was.

    I especially needed to hear this, this week, as multiple tragedies have hit my close family friend, my church, and many other friends/loved ones.

    Jesus Loves me, and even delights in me, here. His Love is loyal, through this, as our sister Lauren Daigle sings (“Loyal,” by Lauren Daigle: https://youtu.be/xXKG-ooExGs). He is my Refuge. I am His Daughter, His Princess.

    Praise Jesus for calling you to write such beautiful, biblical Truth, right when He knew I needed it. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Carolyn.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Annalee

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    • It just amazes me, that Jesus delights in us… Even when there is so much pain, sin, and chaos surrounding us. That He still Loves us, even when we are the reason the world seems to be falling apart. Praise Jesus for His Grace, Mercy, and desire to save, and pledge Himself, to us. ❤

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    • Hi Annalee, oh my goodness thank you so much for this beautiful note. You have so touched my heart with this. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to deal with some tragedy recently. I will be praying for you and yours. Looking forward to checking out that song. Hugs and love xox

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      • Thank you for your prayers; they are needed.
        “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, 5 for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;7 just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace.” (Philippians 1:2-7, NKJV)

        These are the words I feel, towards you! I praise Jesus for you, and for what He has released you from– and how He has led to share this amazing stuff with others. He is using you, Carolyn! What an amazing God we serve. Have a blessed day!

        With Love in Christ,
        Annalee

      • Oh my gosh that is seriously such a beautiful thing to say. Thank you again. God is good and you’re so right – He has rescued me. Praise Him for that! big big hugs xox

  86. Perfectionism is deadly, as I’m sure you know, since perfect does not exist in this world. Being Perfect leads us away from God. Acknowledging our imperfection draws us closer. Perfect’s original meaning was simply FINISHED. Life on a velvet cushion is pretty boring.

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  87. Thank you for liking a post about my son. He is a Prince! Now that I am reading your stories, I realize my daughter is truly a Princess! She has had many struggles too and kept her head up high. She is a warrior Princess! Blessings on your journey!

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  90. Spontaneously responding always feels the best. I am responding to your kindness in responding to others on such a large scale. This is my honest spontaneous response that arrives at a conclusion of you being so kind. You are precious and kind my thoughts are telling me and so I’m now telling you. Thank you in Jesus and Jesus in you.

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  92. This post didn’t go where I thought it was going to go! I’ve read that book too, and I wasn’t so impressed, I think because of the princess thing. I have never been the princess type. I was building trails in the woods behind our house growing up. Now I run our wanna be homestead with one daughter (4) who would rather dress up as a monkey, and another daughter (2) who suddenly without any prompting discovered she likes pink frilly dresses and dances around saying ‘Princess!’ I don’t know how that happened. Anywho, thank you for sharing how you’ve reframed it. I may have to pick it up again!

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    • Thanks Rebekah! So glad it resonated with you:) hah I love that your little lady likes to dress up as a monkey! That is so adorable. Who knows, maybe you have a future gymnast on your hands:) big hugs xox

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  97. Yes, your life is the legacy of a true warrior Princess 😉 This is how you are known in heaven. And nothing in this world has the power to change that.
    If you forget your identity sometimes, you can use this challenge to remember it more deeply, with more boldness and clarity, and declare the truth over your life with words of faith and authority that set you free again and again, to get back into alignment with the vision of Christ and his plans for you in this season of your life.

    May this season of your life – and every season in the future – be always the best season in your life.

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