Challenging Feminism

Lately, itโ€™s been really weird to be a woman.

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Not because of any fashion or makeup trendsโ€ฆalthough, I will sayโ€ฆI donโ€™t quite understand theย reemergence of the shoulder pad.

But because of all the recent hyper focus onโ€ฆfeminism.

The Womenโ€™s March, International Womenโ€™s Day, protests, walk outs, I mean, weย get it alreadyโ€ฆ

But to be honest, I am confused by the whole matter.

Women are not marginalized in the United States of America.ย 

What are they fighting for? Why all the anger?

Now listen, I know that this post is probably going to garner a lot of backlash, but you know what, thatโ€™s okay. I would love to hear thoughts onย all sidesย of this issue. Truly. Every person is entitled to their own viewpoints, and I respect those feelings, even if they differ from mine. And of course, there is always room for improvement in removing some lingering issues, (representation in senior management, ensuring equal wages), but there is noย attack on women.

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But again, I donโ€™t know what women are fighting for.

Is it because we have access to health care?

Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?

Iโ€™ll repeat thatโ€ฆ.57% of college students are female.

Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including theย Presidentย of the United States?

Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?

I just donโ€™t get it.

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Perhaps theyโ€™re marching for the end to rape. Okay. Thatโ€™s truly a phenomenal cause, and I salute that.

But I honestly donโ€™t think a march is going to change that. You know what might?ย A change in our culture.ย Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that weโ€™re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman. Perhaps we shouldnโ€™t be referring to women as โ€œbitches and hoesโ€ in our music and television. Perhaps we shouldnโ€™t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, itโ€™s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.

And women, weโ€™re not off the hook either. Listen, I love a little black dress more than anything. Especially if itโ€™s backless. But if weโ€™re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, itโ€™s asking for trouble.ย Of courseย men should be able to control themselves. โ€œAsking for itโ€ is never, ever,ย everย an excuse. But if weโ€™re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?

The biggest thing I have a problem with, is women who are marching for abortion rights.

Itโ€™s no secret, I am staunchlyย pro-life.

But hereโ€™s where the feminism argument just doesnโ€™t hold up.

So much of feminism is tied up in the sexual revolution and the emergence of The Pill. The cry of feminism for women to have the sexual freedom that men โ€œhaveโ€ is the exact antithesis of what true feminism really is!

The veryย essenceย of being female is the ability to bear children. Bring life into the world. That is the one and only thing that isย uniquelyย female. That is the aspect of being a woman that is what should be celebrated and cherished and protected. And, in the name ofย feminism, weโ€™re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift?ย That,ย in my opinion, is the exactย oppositeย of feminism.

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โ€œBut weโ€™re fighting for a womanโ€™s right to control her own body.โ€

Okay, terrific. Thatโ€™s important.

But hereโ€™s the thing. Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the motherโ€™sย and the babyโ€™s. Her decision is not just hers, but her childโ€™s. How is ending another human life controllingย her ownย body? That sounds to me like controllingย someone elseโ€™sย body.

You want to fight for the marginalized? How about you start with the smallest and most vulnerable of them all? โ€“ The child in the womb.

Frankly, I have been so disappointed to be a woman here recently. All the photos of women wearing red, and proclaiming that theyโ€™re boycotting work to show what it would be like to have a world without women.

Please. Give me a break.ย You have a job. A paycheck. A degree. Benefits. Clean drinking water. Health care. Equal opportunities.

This whole feminist movement thing, it just smells of domineering, desperate estrogen, if Iโ€™m being really honest.

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I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we areย by nature.

Frankly, it is unnatural to try and dominate a man and emasculate him.

I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise toย his highestย form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a manโ€™s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.

Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.

Maybe if we call out men to beย thoseย types of upstanding men,ย andย we their equal partners, complimenting each otherโ€™s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.

Because at the end of the day, feminism is not a bad thing. But its definition has been bastardized in recent times. Feminism is the revolution of femininity โ€“ย in all its forms.

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We, as women, bring with us, our uniquely feminine traits โ€“ ourย feminineย geniusย โ€“ into each and every role we take on, whether that be a teacher, a business exec, a mother, a nurse,ย the President,ย a professional athlete. Those uniquely feminine traits make us exceptional at those things, and should be celebrated.

A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do,ย and more.ย We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?

Thatโ€™sย feminism.ย Thatโ€™sย where we need to begin.

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701 responses to “Challenging Feminism”

  1. Wow. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t agree with what feminisim has become but I could never figure out how to put it into words. This post is exactly it. Especially they part about rape. I don’t know why men and women are compared. It is like comparing apples and oranges. Thank you!!!

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    • Thank you so much Rebekah, I was so nervous to publish this post, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement. Glad this resonated with you. big big hugs!!

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      • BBB, thank you for finding the courage to say this! I agree that the harmony between a man and woman is a beautiful thing that has been lost to the majority of our culture.
        I don’t comment on each of your posts, but I pray for and bless you after each one! Keep up the good fight! ๐Ÿ’—

      • Thank you so much Christy! Oh you’re so sweet, thank you for reading my posts! I think you’re so right- that harmony is a glimpse of grace ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you again for your prayers. Big big hugs xox

  3. Perhaps we shouldnโ€™t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, itโ€™s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.
    ^ Part of the problem is women are objectifying THEMSELVES. They don’t need the media, porn, or men to do it for them. An Instagram account has served quite nicely. And, by all means, let’s Free the Nipple! *rolls eyes*

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    • Oh my gosh SO true! That is absolutely a big part of the problem. Yeah, i am not keen on that “campaign” either. it makes me sad, frankly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and taking the time to read! i really appreciate it! hugs xo

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  4. “…it see this across the landscape of people in my life. seems as if people are searching beyond the existence of this magical state of being?!?!”

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  5. I think you are a great writer but I have to say I disagree on some of the points you’ve made. I guess for me personally the main one is where you write about the “very essence of being a women is the ability to bear children”. I’ve never been maternal and as an adult I still don’t want to children. I don’t think this makes me any less of a women then those women who want children but physically can’t have them, for whatever reason.

    Secondly, I find your descriptions of men and women very stereotyped and old fashioned. I know women who better fit your description of what a man is and vice versa, and I think they should be encouraged to embrace themselves as they are, rather than feel ashamed or upset that they are not a masculine man or a feminine women. A man can also be receptive, delicate and soft. A woman can also be the provider, the protector, the leader and the adventuror.

    I hope you don’t take offence but I just wanted to share. Take care x

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this perspective, Natalie. You bring up a lot of great point. You’re right, we are all unique in our personality traits and our make up and physical tendencies. And that doesn’t make us more or less women than the next. And it’s true, women can absolutely be the providers! I guess i was just trying to say that she is exceptional in that role because she brings her uniquely feminine traits to that…be it powerful critical thinking skills or strong relational prowess. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much for joining the dialogue! I truly love hearing all viewpoints and ideas. Have a great night! hugs xox

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    • This was also my thought, and I thank you for sharing it so well – not sure I could have worded it as nicely ๐Ÿ™‚ I am a happily married woman n a marriage in which I am loved, cherished and insanely happy – that being said we are the complete opposite of the gender stereotypes – my husband is the quieter, gentler and more emotional one in the family. We have discussed adoption and he would love to be a stay at home father should that work for us. I, meanwhile, am the A type personality – driven, career motivated and planning on continuing to be the provider in our home. The difference in our roles I don’t believe define who I am as a woman, or him as a man, and we compliment each other beautifully.

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      • Thank you so much for sharing this. i think you’re right, males and females are a perfect pair and complement each other wonderfully. and we each have unique traits that we bring to our different roles, whatever they may be, that make us exceptional at them! you bring uniquely feminine traits – such as strength and empathy and strong relational skills and critical thinking and multitasking – to your career, and that is so awesome and should be celebrated! ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for sharing this. so glad you stopped by! hugs xox

  6. Love. This. POST. I feel too many people are concerning themselves with *sameness* instead of equality. A woman doesn’t have to be “like a man” or “do what a man does”… You make an excellent point about the uniqueness of being female and the lengths people are willing to go to dismiss it completely. We are made differently for a reason! Not to be less than, but to bring something unique and irreplaceable to the world. I don’t think it’s just women though. There’s a noticeable change in men and how people view traditional masculinity as well.

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    • Thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so glad this resonated with you. Yes! We bring our uniquely feminine traits with us into whatever role we occupy — and that makes us exceptional! ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes!! Love what you said there. thanks for sharing your thoughts! big hugs xox

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  8. Thank you for your article and heart-felt expression!

    As a man, I have found it to be tantamount to a suicidal mission to talk about feminism with feminists. I have “committed suicide” many times!

    Voices like your’s are needed in our society and culture. You are clear in the articulation of your opinions and beliefs, AND you speak as a woman who is fully engaged in the very culture that the feminists are demanding ALL men and women to change in accordance with the current Feminist paradigm. (The “ideology” of Feminism has dramatically changed over the years).

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    • Thanks David! haha, yeah men are definitely not able to talk about this issue without getting run out of town. haha Thank you for your encouragement and support. Big hugs to you xox

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  10. Beautifully eloquent. This is a truly spectacular post. Thank you for creating and sharing it. Thank you, as well, for being a woman of such Godly wisdom.

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  12. Great post. I love how you addressed the sexual revolution and connection to the increased marginalization/objectification of women. If you haven’t already done so “The Birth of the Pill” and “Adam and Eve after the Pill” were two really helpful reads for me. Keep up the great work.

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    • Thank you so much for this thoughtful response, Josh. I haven’t read those books, but they sound like really great reads! thanks for passing them along, and for the encouraging words! big hugs xox

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  13. Mic dropped this post out of the water! So incredibly well written and thank you for posting this!!! It’s so refreshing to hear such a beautiful young woman as yourself standing up for the unborn and just unapologetically owning your stance. Bravo dear friend! Bravo!

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    • ahahahah thank you so much Apes ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s a bit of an unpopular opinion, especially among us millenials, but I think more people secretly hold those feelings, they’re just afraid to speak about it. Or they hold those feelings without really knowing they do. They just need a little nudge of encouragement to realize it — in whatever way that is…a blog, a school presentation, a positive-lyric’ed song.. ๐Ÿ˜‰ love ya Apes!!! xoxoxo

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      • Well it’s not often we see such brave words in a lopsided society such as ours. Having issues that we don’t agree with crammed down our throats daily will become a thing of the past, I hope.

        Thank you for this post because it says EVERYTHING I’ve ever thought of Feminism. The thing I worry about most is my 8-year-old son growing up and feeling as though he has to apologize for being a man. NOT ON MY WATCH!

        I also try not to perpetuate the Princess Syndrome with my young daughter. Telling girls they are princesses their whole lives does not promote equality. I do encourage her in every way that I can, but no one should be placed on a pedestal simply because of their gender.

        Thank you again. I would give you a thousand standing ovations if I could, but I think The Rock will have to do. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • oh my gosh, thank you again for the encouragement. it sounds like you are an absolutely awesome mom. your kids are going to grow up to be the ones to make the positive changes in our world! i’m applauding you for that! just like The Rock ๐Ÿ™‚ hehe thanks again for joining the dialogue! big hugs xoxoxoxo

  16. Hi this is a really well balanced article. You are right to point out that in most western cultures being a woman shouldn’t mean you are repressed or limited simply because of your gender. There is a balancing argument that men have a lot of issues in society (violence against, incarceration rates and sentencing times, paternity rights etc – and that’s before we get into the subliminal man shaming bullshit dished out by men and women).
    The clear difference is that they don’t have a voice, well, because its not a valid argument to complain about being a man. Ok that’s fine, I really don’t have an issue with gender, I’d rather be respectful and celebrate the good things about being a human and being male or female.

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    • Thank you so much for this reflection. Yes! we should celebrate our humanity and everything that we each uniquely bring to the table, because we have special abilities and talents, no matter what gender, religion, race, nationality, etc. I appreciate this food for thought! big hugs xox

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  18. I think everyone has their own definition as to what feminism is. I’m not on board with those who believe in abortion and all that, but that’s just one spectrum of it all. I believe in fighting for women because so many people in the world do not see us as equal. When I was growing up, I was often told I could not do things that my YOUNGER brother could do because I was a girl! When I was in high school, I worked at a Quiznos where all the guys hired after me were offered 2 to 3 dollars more an hour because my bosses were super racist and sexist. When I asked them for a raise that was equal to my coworkers, they literally told me I was too small and weak and not valuable to the team. I quit immediately! I’ve also been harassed just walking down the street in a t-shirt and jeans, and when I ignore the cat calls, I’m called a bitch! Do men have to deal with that? Not usually. I may not agree with all the reasons as to why women feel they need to march and protest, but I support my fellow women in their fight to show the world that we are equal and that we deserve respect!

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    • Thank you for sharing this, Emmy. I appreciate the perspective. Yeah, that’s not fair about your wage inequality. Again, there are still some issues that need to be resolved, fair pay being one of them. And I can definitely relate to the street calls – in NYC if you’re female that can walk on two legs, you get catcalled. we need a change in culture where that is no longer acceptable. Respect is a non-negotiable….no matter who, what, where, when, etc. Thanks for the great food for thought. i sincerely appreciate it! hugs to you xoxo ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • Yeah, definitely! But I also agree with you that ultimately, change needs to start with us within our culture. My son is only 6, but I do my best to raise him to be respectful. Luckily, my husband is an amazing example for our son, and unfortunately, not all boys have a great father figure to look up to (and that’s a whole other subject on what’s wrong with our society !!) Anyways, great insight! Have a great day!

  19. Hi bbb, just getting back into the dating mess,,, ah, er, mix, yes that’s it after the scarlet “D” divorce, and after a few tries it seems I do not want to get entangles in the whole High School drama thing again. Thank you for the hope of maybe being fortunate enough to meet a like minded woman. It is a mess out there. Hope you find your Godly man. I at least think I have an eye half open for an elusive woman who is kind and loves God deeply.

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  20. Awesome post! You are right on all counts. I truly believe that men are just absolutely confused as to what women want from them because there are so many signals all shooting different places. I also understand the women’s argument on that we should “control” our bodies and I have never heard it put so beautifully as you did, abortion IS to control the body of another. And if they would take a moment and see just how girls and women are treated in many countries and cultures they would know just how blessed we are. We desperately need a move back to the sanctity of marriage, I really believe much of this rage and hate stems from young women who have really felt pressured by society into sexual relationships, one after another, because society says that is what people are “supposed” to do and then they are left hurt, and wounded because something that was designed of God to be precious has been lost.

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    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection, Nina. I think you’re right – we are so incredibly blessed here in the United States. And you’re right, that preciousness or perhaps innocence – has been lost, be it by peer pressure, what society dictates, or what pop culture demands, but it has been lost and that is a very sad thing. thanks for stopping by! hugs xx

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  21. Dear Caralyn:

    I was at a forum on resource exploitation. The presenter held capitalism as the cause of that evil. In the Q&A, I was pointed out that his definition of capitalism read like it was written by the Soviet Politburo.

    I’m having somewhat the same reaction to your piece.

    Feminism is an attempt to elevate issues that historically were considered to be in the home, often managed by women without compensation. On the seamier side we have sexual exploitation and abuse, but it doesn’t stop there. It also has to do with the long-term social consequences of policies that place enormous stress on families. An example might be corporate welfare justified by the economic elite under the rubric “poor people are just lazy,” but it includes the failure to recognize the positive impact of parental leave in cementing family bonds.

    Historically women “made do” when these problems came up. I think that “feminism” as understood by its founders meant making these issues part of the public debate, in part to ensure that problems were not exacerbated by legislatures whose concerns were focused by lobbyists for moneyed interest. Such self-serving policy-makers hypocritically claim common cause with Christian middle-America, many of whom are under stress enough without upending the social contract that supported men as sole breadwinners.

    Your selection of issues is familiar from conservative think tanks interested largely in delegitimizing feminism. I think that even the original feminists had a far more nuanced view. If they sometimes chose issues that seem prurient now (“Free the nipple” was mentioned above), that should be seen as taking a page from Mohandas Ghandi, who led a salt march and spun his own cloth in protest against British monopolies. The feminists weren’t about showing nipples. They chose a universal aspect of the female experience with the goal of encouraging women to be comfortable with their bodies, rather than allowing corporate America to profit from the insecurities instilled by Madison Avenue. Given that many of the teenage girls in my son’s high-school class went in for breast augmentations, I believe that we still have a great need for the feminism (properly understood).

    Brian

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    • Thank you so much, Brian, for this thoughtful response. There’s a lot of truly terrific food for thought here. I agree, that making these issue part of the debate is important, especially for change. Thanks for stopping by and sharing this perspective!! hugs xox

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      • Sorry if I went over-the-top, Caralyn. I get a little crazy sometimes. I try to see what is good in every situation, and can become a little unhinged when the emphasis is placed on what is in the shadows.

      • no no not at all! I seriously love reading your words! it is clear you have a lot of passion about this, and I am grateful to have the privilege to read them! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • And that’s super interesting about Ghandi. I did not know that about his march. I really puts a different spin on the whole “propaganda” aspect of it. Clearly, your words and ideas here are still spinning around my brain as I’m falling asleep ๐Ÿ™‚ haha

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  22. Feminism like race is a social construct. Or better, its promotion is creating a separate race and losing its conscious effort toward the inclusion of women in society on all levels. Like, similar efforts of inclusion from other activists. Can all women receive healthcare centered toward women? I agree, they are different mammals. Can all women really make it to college and represent all women in professional careers? Most graduate programs are slowly churning the single digits for females and even worse is wasting 8 years and a quarter million on education and not able to get a job. We accept a social contract as Americans and if you are not “American” in look, traditions, or social standing you are behind and just, unnecessary. That’s what a lot of these protests are considering and I agree that abortion is not accepted in Christianity but neither was accepted slavery, favored classism, passes for plundering plutocrats, abuse toward women, and polygamy even though the church did allow all these ideas because of the social contract of the time between the church and its people or relieving these chosen few of their money in support of the church and their causes. To counter feminism is okay, I would like a better world for my daughters that includes them because it sure didn’t include me.

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    • thank you for this great food for thought. lots of great points to ponder here. I would love a better world for our children too. theres a lot that society dictates that i wish we could change. one day hopefully. thanks for stopping by. hugs ox

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      • My mom was raped. I didn’t ask to be born. She didn’t have the money for an abortion so she left when I was born. I’m glad you had a pretty good life, college, apartment in Manhattan…just be aware of not being too self righteous to those that do no walk your path. That, is probably the biggest problem with society is it requires a bit more responsibility among the poor and a bit less patronizing at the top.

      • Gosh, Kenzie. That just breaks my heart to hear what your mother went through. I am so sorry to hear that. You’re right, there are a lot of things that I haven’t personally experienced. My sincerest apologies if this came of as insensitive. That was truly not my intent. We all have different journeys and every encounter presents an opportunity for compassion and growth ๐Ÿ™‚ and i for one, am glad that you are part of this world and alive to share your powerful thoughts and perspective. i am grateful to have you in my life! hugs xox

      • I think Kenzie and Brian elevated my thinking. I believe the ‘feminism’ we react negatively too is a manipulation by the media etc to derail and deflect from the issues at hand. Instinctively I reacted to the post getting into the idea yes, there are I,prove wants so why all this agitation. But the fact remains, more women are compromised, subjugated, marginalized that we like to think, and the ongoing presence of this ‘agitation’ in our midst is a clear indication of this. If we all sign up in principle to the idea of inequity, just like we would with ‘racism’ etc then we get somewhere. But to pick on certain issues like ‘for’ or ‘against’ abortion or ‘marriage’ versus ‘co-habitation’ then we focus ‘personal choices’ rather than on systemic and societal inequities. So in principle we have to battle with the the problematic word ‘feminism’ and remember at its core it is about injustice and inequity. All of us therefore could agree on that.

  24. You go, girl! I’ve been a vocal critic of modern day feminism mainly for my pro-life convictions and I’ve gotten tons of literal, visceral hate for it, so I wanted to leave you a positive comment and to show everyone like us that we aren’t alone.

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    • Thank you so much rebecca! oh gosh, I’m so sorry that you’ve been receiving backlash for your beliefs. sending big hugs. hang in there. I really appreciate the encouragement. You’re right, holding these beliefs today can definitely be a nerve-wracking thing!big hugs xo

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  25. Excellent post, BBB. Ironically, we both posted an article on feminism within minutes of one another! (I will refrain from unabashadely posting a link to it here.) We absolutely need to here more voices like yours on this topic. Blessings ๐Ÿ™‚

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  26. Somehow I think you are missing the point, although much of what you write is quite true. I appreciate your writing very much even though I often disagree with the “politics”. However. The truth is that despite it being a fabulous thing, having children is something that has been used to keep women under control for a long time. In terms of having a viable world? and healthy children? having no ability to restrict pregnancy does not produce a positive result, either. Poor child health and nutrition is a HUGE problem, and nobody really seems to be talking about that. I guess abortion is more “exciting”. Having reproductive control over herself, and not having some male or insurance company decide what can be done, is crucial to a woman being able to, in many cases, support herself and the family she chooses to have. If you disagree with abortion, that’s fine and you should not have one. But I do not believe it gives you the right to prevent others following their own dictates. There can be concern with late term abortions, for sure. But early term abortions are not terminations of viable human beings, which makes blanket rejection a somewhat specious argument. I generally wonder what people’s positions on the death penalty are, too, when abortion is a question. Also. Women ARE under attack. The pay inequity is stark. The opportunities are, in truth, limited. Health care, child care, basic things like that? are not available to many- it’s all a matter of money and who has it. You may not yet have had your fill of salacious remarks, inappropriate touching, (and not related to provocative dress, to be clear) dismissal of ideas and contributions and downright rip off of same in combination with being trundled off to second class work world unless total obedience to the paradigm is manifested- but all that exists and is getting stronger, and serves no one. Feminism, like every other -ism, and language in general now, gets distorted unimaginably. But women ARE a dispossessed group in many ways and feminism seeks- or should, anyway- to educate everyone in order to rectify a dysfunctional situation. Oppression of women allows men to not be who and what they are, as well. Enabling people to stoop to every occasion is not a recipe for success. I also agree that stridency, name calling, isolationism and intolerance are not acceptable in ANY venue. Patriarchy has been, to say the least, debased over the centuries and it doesn’t serve the highest interests of men OR women. This is what needs to change, and what I believe the essence of feminist action truly is. Responding to your point of view as well, I think the essence of what Christ tells us is: love is the way. Let’s hope we can work on all this together!

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    • Thank you so much for joining the dialogue and sharing your thoughts so eloquently. I truly appreciate hearing all sides and learning from others! In terms of abortion, for me it goes down to my belief that life begins at conception, therefore, no matter if the abortion is partial birth, 2 weeks or even a “Plan B” pill, for me it does not matter because life is life. But I respect that other people do not hold that belief, and that’s okay. Also, one thing that I didn’t add in my post, is that I have actually been sexually assaulted. So I have experienced the malicious degradation of women first hand. But I’m right there with ya on that: love *is* the way. And there in lies the hope ๐Ÿ™‚ I have so appreciated hearing your views and perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read! big hugs xox

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  27. I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. Women are definitely marginalized in the US. It’s not just a pay gap, it’s the fact that women don’t receive the same opportunities as men. Yes 57% of women are college students, but a majority of those women never make it into STEM positions. Technology is a male-dominated field, I would know, I live in a technology-dominated area. Women don’t get casted to direct action movies. And that’s just women who aren’t POC or part of the LGBT community. It’s even worse for those women. That’s why intersectional feminism matters.

    Traditional female representation is pathetic. It depicts women solely as objects of male desire which brings me to your point about women “sexualizing” themselves. That’s not what it’s about. A traditional view about women is that women dress up to impress men and that isn’t the case. Plenty of women dress up for themselves and that’s okay.

    Lastly, to your point about abortion, I firmly believe it’s a woman’s right to choose whether she has a baby or not. It impacts HER body because SHE has to eat for two for 8 months, SHE has to go through morning sickness and hormones for 8 months, SHE is considered legally disabled while pregnant. Pregnant can and does destroy teenage girl’s lives. That’s why they need access to abortion and illegalizing abortion doesn’t just magically make it go away. Women just try to abort the baby by themselves and they could get very badly hurt.

    Reply

    • Hey girlie! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the dialogue. You bring up a lot of really great points. Yeah, there are definitely a lot of areas that need improvement in terms of equality. And I fully appreciate that I’m saying these things as a caucasian female. There are lots of things I have not personally experienced, and i agree, all people, no matter gender, race, orientation, nationality, etc, *all* people deserve respect and equality and dignity and to feel welcome and valued. Lots of great things to ponder here. thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a great rest of your night! hugs xox

      Reply

      • Absolutely! I sincerely value the dialogue! i appreciate hearing all different viewpoints. that’s one of the beautiful things about life, is that we can share different beliefs and yet still respect each other and be friends! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Yeah that’s the best part. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having you as a friend even though we don’t see eye to eye on everything. It’s really powerful. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Beautybeyondbones you are a feminist and dont even know it. Feminism is fighting for equality. Thats all. So even though its come to mean many things we need to bring back the true meaning of feminism and show people what it means to be a feminist and bring more equality in the world

    • I think if our goal is to increase the amount of women in STEM fields that means we make sure they are adequately prepared for such a track while they are still in high school…that is a whole other discussion though.
      May I ask how you think women are legally disabled while pregnant?

      Reply

  28. Just because you aren’t feeling or witnesses the effects of why we need feminism doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
    On paper, we all have EQUAL rights. Sadly, reality tells a much different story.
    How people are treated for just being a minority or a woman is atrocious. The United States is ruled by old, white men who are out of touch with reality.
    I was sexually harassed at a place of work years ago by the boss/owner of company. You know what the general consensus was by my recruiting company/counselor/co-workers? I was wearing something that “showed the shape” of my breasts.
    Yes, blouses that completely cover my chest and were plain somehow made this boss of mine bold enough to make comments and stare at my chest for long periods of time (I was the admin assistant/front desk person). I caught him many times and asked him what he was doing. No answer, kept staring. I quit. I fought a mental battle with myself and hated myself.
    But that isn’t a unique story: this happens to so many women (and men, too).
    Now please, not all men are like this and not all women are constantly angry or threaten/feel threatened by men. What people see when they see feminists on TV is anger and marches; rarely do you see the why’s (or choose not to).
    Words like “triggered” get thrown around every time a woman has an opinion that isn’t the general consensus.
    It’s fine to have religious beliefs and/or be pro-life; after all, your body is your body! But…in no way, shape or form does anyone have the right to tell another person what to do with their body. More to the point, some of these politicians have zero knowledge of the female anatomy. Some of them actually believe we can hold in our blood and make it come out at will. I don’t want that moron to be in charge of what he clearly knows nothing about nor care (or the life a goldfish, for that matter).
    But above everything else I’ve seen on this particular post is the men agreeing with the idea feminism is overrated. It’s almost funny, if not a little sad.
    Of course they agree; they have all this privilege and never had to think what others are thinking or feeling or, GASP, what other people might be going through.
    They give men with intelligence and common sense a horrendous name. No, it’s more scary than anything else, come to think of it.
    I don’t care what religion or lack of anyone has: don’t hide behind any deity(ies) to justify ignorance or bring others down. Don’t hide behind religion and dictate why certain people need to be treated differently.
    But, when I also see stuff like this, I have a small sigh of relief. I genuinely don’t want anyone to go through what I’ve gone through. The story is just the tip of the iceberg. I used to have the same opinions, like “we don’t need feminism” and think it was all in someone’s misguided head.
    So, I hope you keep your misconceptions about feminism. I hope you never have to see and experience what myself and so many others go through. I applaud you for having your opinion, even if we disagree.

    Reply

    • Hi Alleh, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and perspective on this. I can tell you are very passionate about these things, and I definitely respect your opinions and beliefs, and I thank you for joining the dialogue. I’m so sorry that you experienced that at your office. That type of harassment is never okay. And I’m so sorry it led to those challenges you described. I have been there too. I was sexually assaulted at a night club in NYC several years ago. So I too, know the ugly side of dominating masculinity. One thing about being uniquely feminine women is that we take those special traits with us into every role we fill, every relationship we have, and every conversation we participate in, and I can definitely see your passion and strength, empathy and compassion shine through! Thanks again for stopping by. big hugs xox

      Reply

      • Very true. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Hope you’re doing okay! I know with we’re alone with our feelings sometimes, things can take a dark turn.

      • That’s so true. And same to you, my friend:) it’s so comforting to know that we have friends by our side along the way โค sending big hugs xox

  29. I appreciate your willingness to take a risk and start a conversation of this nature. You made some good points, and you explained them well. I am aware that a significant segment of our culture needs to improve its attitudes towards women, but your perspective helps to provide a balance.

    Reply

  30. I had to agree with everything except being disappointed with being a female. I own my femininity, and am not shy (especially when backed into a corner, which is how I feel these days) about reminding people of the true roots of feminism – equal pay for equal work, and equal rights (to include the right to vote and ability to leave the house without a male escort).

    I am disheartened by the women protesting in America, simply because I have done my research – and women in America aren’t, as you point out, marginalized *or* oppressed. Other countries still subject women to genital mutilation, marry off child brides to men four times their age, and one country in particular still does not allow women to take a walk without a male relative escort… and, the last one is a country which the U.S. routinely allies herself with.

    So, when I compare the marches to true atrocities against women – for being women – I fail to find much sympathy for their plight. If they were demonstrating for the women oppressed in other countries, urging the U.S. do something for *those* women, that is a cause I would find a little more substantive.

    Great points, and you are not alone in these thoughts!

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Anni! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. You’re so right – there are other countries around the world where those horrible conditions are a reality for women. We have so much to be thankful for. Let’s celebrate all the freedoms that we enjoy as wonderful and powerful females! hugs xox

      Reply

      • I am sure you had some backlash, but if I am really, gut-wrenchingly honest, there’s a darker side to the coin of feminism. Sure, we can have good jobs and provide for our families now. But on the other side of that, the commonality of a dual-income family has made it much harder for women who choose to stay at home and raise (even school) their children. Some women cannot, and others can but end up filling both roles. Childbearing is so, so incredibly special (and to be honest, somewhat important for, you know, survival of the race and all that), but I know so many women who feel that they have had to choose between raising their children and conveniences like feeding and providing medical care for said children. Pros and cons to everything for sure!

      • This is a great perspective too. You’re right, there are pros and cons, and every situation is different. but one thing is for sure: whatever vocation or profession we choose, we bring to it our unique feminine traits. thanks again for the support. hugs xox

  33. I completely understand why you may be confused about all the attention on feminism lately. I want to shed some light on how I feel about feminism and what it means for our culture today. I am going to try and take this issue by issue as you lay it out in your post, so bear with me.
    Women are marginalized in the United States. Whether you want to believe that or not, itโ€™s the truth. One example is the dollar bill. Every single dollar bill that is made in America has the face of a man. What about the great women who helped shape America? What about the notable women who changed history? Why is it that men are so important but women get forgotten?
    Another example are veterans. Surveys show that women veterans are less likely than their male counterparts to find employment after service. Female veterans have written on Vantage Point (http://www.blogs.va.gov/VAntage/7887/progress-in-treatment-of-women-veterans/) about these challenges and those while seeking VA care as a woman.
    Another example are the gender pay gaps. All you have to do is google a few things to realize this is a troubling problem in America. I learned, by googling really quickly, that women who are chief executives earn 69% as much as their male counterparts. And on average women earn more than men in only 7 professions out of 534. SEVEN OUT OF 534. That is 0.13% of the processions listed.
    Abortion bans. I understand you are prolife and I am not going to argue this with you. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The problem I see with abortion bans and all the hoops women have to jump through is that we as women are still not trusted to make our own decisions about our reproductive choices.
    Now, on to the fact that we can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, go to college, etc. Youโ€™re right, we can do all of those things. Because of women like Alice Paul, Francis Willard, Carrie A. Nation, Jane Addams, Fannie Lou Hamer, Rosa Parks, Betty Friedan, Margaret Sanger, Anna Howard Shaw, and Carrie Chapman Catt. And if you know anything about womenโ€™s history, the Progressive Movement, the Feminist Movement of the โ€˜60s, and the Civil Rights Movement you will know that these women are the reason we have birth control, can vote, have equal rights, etc. These women didnโ€™t all agree. Some wanted temperance while some drank. Some wanted birth control while some were strictly opposed. And some were racist while others were inclusive. Feminists may not always agree but we are all fighting for equal rights. We are the ones that are standing up for those who canโ€™t or wonโ€™t.
    I agree with you, that marching will not end rape and we need a change in our culture. But I disagree with the fact that women should wear more conservative clothing. By you saying โ€œif weโ€™re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, itโ€™s asking for trouble.โ€ you are telling anyone who reads this that it is their fault they got raped because they wanted to wear a backless dress. You even follow it up that โ€œโ€Asking for itโ€ is never an excuseโ€ but thatโ€™s what youโ€™re saying by telling your readers they are asking for trouble if they are dressed a little skimpy. Thatโ€™s bull shit. I should be able to walk down the street topless, just like a man, without feeling any sort of discomfort, ridicule, judgement, or terror.
    The abortion subject is touchy and I donโ€™t like to argue this issue. My husband is very pro-life and I have had two abortions. I would never take those back. I do not regret them. I would never judge someone who has had one. I would never judge someone who refuses to have one. All I want is the choice. Because I didnโ€™t have that choice I would have gone to a back alley doctor, like back in the 20โ€™s. I could have died tried to get the abortion I wanted and had a right to.
    Feminism is not about sexual revolution and the pill. It is not to have sexual freedom. Feminism is to have equal rights. To be treated equally on all platforms. The ability to have children is uniquely female, but it should also be a choice. We should not be forced to have children or denied birth control because a man chooses that is what is โ€œright.โ€ I obviously do not believe that โ€œchild in the wombโ€ is actually a child until a certain point, but again this is not a fight I want to get into. We can disagree and thatโ€™s fine. Thatโ€™s part of being a feminist. Letting everyone have their own thoughts and ideas and not judging or criticizing them for it.
    Iโ€™m sorry you feel that the whole feminist movement thing โ€œsmells of domineering, desperate estrogenโ€ but please, take a minute and research women like Alice Paul, Margaret Sanger, Anna Howard Shaw, Carrie Chapman Catt, Francis Willard, Betty Friedan, and Jane Addams. Once youโ€™ve done that tell me how many rights you would have as a woman without these strong and courageous women. You wouldnโ€™t have your blog. You wouldnโ€™t have a job. You wouldnโ€™t have education. You wouldnโ€™t have the right to choose when to have children. You wouldnโ€™t have the right to own land. You wouldnโ€™t have the right to vote. You would not have a voice what so ever. You would have been property of your father or husband. You would have been taught to be seen and not heard. These women made all of this possible by being feminist. By fighting for what they believed what right and going against the grain.
    If you feel itโ€™s unnatural to try and dominate a man you fall into the typical paradigm that our culture has taught. You complain about our culture calling women bitches and hoes, why not complain about our culture teaching our young girls that they are below boys. Why not complain about the saying โ€œboys will be boysโ€ and letting them be aggressive, dirty, rude, loud, mean, etc. because, โ€œboys will be boys.โ€
    As a mother I do not feel that being a bearer to life is what makes me powerful. Being educated, talented, funny, strong, independent, outspoken, honest, a good person, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, and a good daughter are what makes me powerful. Not the fact that I can simply have children.
    I hope you never have to experience rape, unwanted pregnancy, assault, name calling, or have any of your rights taken away. These are the things that make you open your eyes to โ€œwhat all the fuss is aboutโ€.

    Reply

    • If I may —
      You brought up some excellent points. Obviously, I don’t know exactly what she was thinking, but this is what I interpret some of the things that you did not agree with:
      I gathered that she is fed up with present-day feminism. The kind that doesn’t seem to be fighting so much for equal rights because, really, we have so many equal rights today. (I agree that this has to do with the rise of feminism in the last century).
      Pay gap may be an issue still, but how is taking a day off work to march for your right to earn a paycheck logical?
      As for the dollar bill — it has taken a while to change things, but I have never seen the face on any denomination change in my lifetime (that I can recall) and I know that the decision to put Harriet Tubman — a wonderful leader — on our $20 bill has already been established.
      That’s a huge step — one that probably had nothing to do with the women’s marches in DC.

      I also wanted to bring up the dress thing. I think her main point was, how do you expect someone to respect your body if you don’t respect it yourself? The female body is hyper-sexualized in tv, advertisements, music, etc. We know this. Choosing to wear nearly nothing because it should be a “right” in a culture that is so perverse when it comes to women probably isn’t wise. It has nothing to do with rights — only social and cultural attitudes (as mentioned above).
      I do believe that if we want to see change, we should stop objectifying women — especially media. I do not call this feminism, though. This falls under basic human decency.

      I don’t say this as an argument, simply as a discussion. Hope I haven’t offended. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

      • No offense here at all. ๐Ÿ™‚

        There are still problems with men seeing us as equal and even as women seeing themselves as equal. She makes that very clear when she states that men should be the breadwinners. There is nowhere in our genetic make-up that makes men better at working than women. There is nowhere in our DNA where women should be considered soft and men should be considered strong. Those are all gender roles and stereotypes we have fallen into.

        I agree that it has taken a long time to make any sort of positive change for women when it comes to currency, but the small wins are very positive.

        And when it comes to the dressing I will politely disagree. I have a lot of tattoos that I love to show off. I am proud of the artwork on my body and enjoy showing it off. I should not be scared I’m going to be raped because I have a backless dress on. It should not be assumed that I don’t respect my body because I wear low cut clothing and short shorts. – Or whatever the clothing type may be. But I agree completely that objectifying women in our culture through the media is not feminism. It’s our culture, it’s something that needs to be changed but to do this our attitudes towards sex and the body (both male and female because they are sexualized too) need to change.

      • Thanks so much for this, Samantha! You’re right, there is a lot of room for improvement, but you’re right — there is no crisis. steps are being taken, like on the dollar bill and the equal opportunities available to women. And you’re right, i was hoping to create a dialogue. every person brings with them unique perspectives and insights, and i am truly grateful to learn from everyone. Thanks for stopping by ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xx

    • Hi there, thank you so much for joining the dialogue and for sharing your thoughts and perspective. I love the passion with which you write about these issues, and I sincerely appreciate you sharing them. There is so much to be learned from each and every person and I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to do so. I am very grateful for the work the women who went before us did to ensure that we have the rights and freedoms that we enjoy today. Feminism is a complex issue, and there are many sides and approaches to it. There is obviously room for improvement in our culture around these issues, but i think there is a lot to be grateful for too. And again, I respect everyone’s stances and positions on these issues. We’re all coming from different places that make us feel and believe the way we do. For me, the sexual assault in my past, coupled with the anorexia in my past and the fact that I am unable to have children is what influences my positions on these issues. I was hoping to create a dialogue, because these are not cut and dry issues, and respectful conversation can lead to understanding and healing ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyways, this is getting long, so thank you so much for sharing your heart. it really means a lot ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

      Reply

  34. I have so many thoughts on this as well. However, all I will say is this also confuses young men who we moms try to teach to be gentlemen. You know, the “old-fashioned” open the door for a woman (let her go in first) out of respect and so on. Our young men are getting mixed signals because some young women get offended or give the men a stink eye for being courteous and respectful. There is nothing wrong with manners and putting yourself ahead of others (man or woman) but this whole movement is going to bite us all in the end. Not only are women confused by all of this “movement” but some men are as well.

    Reply

    • Thanks Deanna! You’re so right, I feel, as a society, we’re walking on egg shells so as not to offend or send the wrong signals. I for one love a held door, but I know others who feel the opposite. So much to be confused about. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! big hugs xox

      Reply

  36. Yes yes yes! Thank you for writing about this and approaching it from another angle than so many others I read about these days. I completely agree with you.
    Except for the shoulder pads – I don’t mind those so much as the re-emerging mom jeans trend — could someone explain that to me?? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply

    • thank you so much Samantha! I really appreciate your support and encouragement. haha oh gosh, the mom jeans — yeah, I’m not quite sure about that one either. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for taking the time to read! big hugs xox

      Reply

  37. Never dismiss as fiction the struggles others face simply because you have not faced them. You lost me at wanting women to take some responsibility for sexual assault in I suppose some percentage related to the amount of our bodies that are not covered. You can say “I’m not saying she was asking for it” but you absolutely said asking for trouble. Having been sexually assaulted in broad daylight at age 16 wearing knee length shorts while walking in a park with a friend, what percentage of the blame would you assign to me based on the amount of clothing I was wearing? I have many thoughts on feminism but if you are still in that place where maybe sometimes we bring our own rapes on ourselves, it feels useless to discuss it more deeply.

    Reply

    • Hi there, thank you so much for joining the dialogue, and for sharing your thoughts. You’re right, all of our journeys are different, and we have a lot to learn from each other. I am so sorry to hear that you’ve been assaulted as so. That breaks my heart to hear, and my heart and prayers and love goes out to you. And I’m sorry that you took my words as that, they were absolutely not meant in that way. I too, was sexually assaulted. It happened my 3rd year in NYC at a night club. So I agree – we did not bring those things on ourselves. I would love to continue the dialogue on this. I so appreciate you sharing your story and your thoughts. sending big hugs xox

      Reply

  38. You have turned a corner here, BB, this a serious look at this topic and an intelligent piece of writing.
    It shows the strength of your courage to stand up for your convictions, your reasoning, wisdom, and ability to communicate clearly, making you truly an example of Paul’s advice to Timothy, ‘let not anyone despise your youth’.
    I think your writing gift is headed for great things as you keep being true to yourself.
    God Bless, and keep blessing us your audience. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Nanny. That is truly, so kind of you to say. I am incredibly touched. This is definitely something I feel passionate about. thanks for the affirmation ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs to you xox

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  39. Wow, I have not seen writing like this in a long time. I so appreciate your views here, including pro-life. But there is a need to discuss and make known one important topic. It’s called domestic violence. Most often it’s against women. I doubt if you see it, but if you go down to your local police station and get a copy of the stats you will see horrendous numbers crossing socio-economic lines.
    But is so refreshing to see your perspective, and seeing the views of a Godly woman.
    And your glasses! โ˜บlol.

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. domestic violence absolutely breaks my heart. It pains my heart to think about the women who have to endure that vile conduct. I have been blessed to have been brought up in a home where that is not an issue, but i fully realize that that is not the case for everyone. And my heart and prayers go out to those women and families. Violence against another person, is never *ever* the answer. Thanks for this powerful perspective. I appreciate you joining the dialogue! Big hugs to you xox

      Reply

  40. Definitely some of the longest comments on here in a while! Of course you knew this was coming, pro and con! I have to applaud both your courage in tackling issues that are sure to draw reactions and your ability to express appreciation for other people speaking their mind. Very well done. Direct comments at Patreon… where everyone should go anyway!!

    Reply

    • Thanks Jeff! I know! my eyes are getting a workout reading! between that and trying to watch Dancing with the Stars out of the other eye! haha Yes, Mr. Level Headed ๐Ÿ™‚ haha just like my dad ๐Ÿ™‚ pros and cons for sure. can’t wait to read your thoughts! you always bring such a powerful perspective! i always end up learning so much ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

      Reply

      • I have to root for Mr. T! I watched The A Team when that series was on. George Peppard was a hoot; smoking a cigar and always saying, “I love it when a plan comes together.” I’m glad to see Peta back. A regular family affair with her and the brothers, then Sasha and his wife. I daydream about being able to do that, but despite doing fight choreography in theatre, add music, call it “dance,” and watch the hilarity begin. *sigh*

      • hahah that fight choreo is no joke! it really is a well choreographed dance!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Yeah, his dance was pretty awesome. Never saw any productions he was in, but I’ll take your word for it! maybe i can find a clip online ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs xo

  42. I grew up in Norway where women’s equality and rights was something I kind of took for granted. Women have also stood strong in Norway, I think has to do with our Viking heritage where women were both Warriors and home makers, adventurers and mothers, priests and wives.

    But, when I moved to India, I realized that this is a country where things I take for granted doesn’t even exist. Here, a woman can’t inherit, she can’t choose her spouse, she is auctioned away for dowry, and, after marriage, she has to change her entire name to show that she is the property of her husband. Of course modern India is changing, but it is still against the law her do reveal the gender of a baby on an ultrasound screening because so many women choose to have an abortion if it is a girl. So I guess here, old-school feminism is needed, I mean the feminism that fights for equal rights and worth for women.

    But I think, all in all, I am a bit of a humanist (is that a word….). What I mean is that I believe in every single individual’s rights to define themselves, to be the way they find natural and to act according to their own convictions. I don’t like labels. I don’t like when someone else tries to define my personal womanhood, how I am supposed to be to be a woman, wether that is coy and sweet or “bad ass”. I just want to be myself.

    Having said that, I think there are discussions we need to have about values. Here in India for example, many women say they are grateful for the prostitutes because they reduce the amount of rapes. I mean, WHAT? What they mean is that men have no control over their needs so either they have to molest a girl or buy one. That is, to me, a sick way of looking at what masculinity is. It is the opposite of the protector. So, my point is, here in India, there is need for a re-definition of what it means to be a man. And to me, that definition needs to be about chivalry, and protection and care. But I think, being caring and kind are values we ALL should strive for, and they certainly do not put a lid on personal expression and individuality.

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective. India was actually one of the countries I was thinking about when I was writing this piece, because they are being so oppressed over there. it breaks my heart and I’m sorry to hear that you have to witness that first hand. Yeah, that is *shocking* about the prostitutes. You’re right – being caring, and just as basic as respect is something that everyone deserves, no matter their gender, race, age, nationality – respect is a non-negotiable. Thanks again for joining the dialogue. big hugs xox

      Reply

      • I am one too. I don’t go for all these marches and protests, I think they are dumb. My faith talks about working for the Lord and in doing so, our lives will be better than what we can make ourselves.

        I never want to be considered part of this women’s movement.

  44. I find it all a mystery feminism a word that I truly do not wish to be described as. I am unique and say exactly what I mean and fashion , celebrities, do not define me or what I think about. I am a fighter and always have been.

    Reply

  45. I wish I could like this post ten times! I’ve been struggling with the whole feminism thing lately, and like many others, I’ve been wondering if I am a feminist or not. This post really helped me figure out where I stand. You’re so amazing, and I am so thankful for your posts. It seems like each one relates to something going on at my life at that time, and I truly think that it’s a God-thing. Thank you so much!

    Reply

    • oh thank you so much Caitlin! what a kind thing to say. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Yes! God works in mysterious ways! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Reply

  46. Oh my goodness! I was literally just reflecting on this while reading this morning….Feeling obligated, as a woman, to be feminist. And what that means for our role in society as women of faith…loved reading about your insight!

    Reply

  47. Oh I love this post- as I love all of yours. especially the pro life part. I feel the EXACT same way!

    the ironic thing in this modern world of North America (in from Canada but we are similar in many ways) is that we are supposed to be fighting for the minorities. well those are the unborn children, without a voice!!

    Reply

    • thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚ You’re so kind to say that. I’m glad this resonated with you. I so agree! we’ve got to use our voice for the voiceless! thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xox

      Reply

  48. I have to admit, as I first started reading this post I was thinking that this was an anti-feminist post. As I continued to read, I realized that you speak truth. We as women have come far, but our fight is not over. Viagra is covered through health insurance but some birth control methods for females are not…
    Unequal pay in the workplace….
    The topic of abortion is at an all time high, I am pro-life as well. I think it’s wrong to rid yourself of life just because you made the choice to have sex. That’s the choice, not abortion. Agreed! Rape victims, that’s another story. I wish the option for abortions did not exist, but I do not judge those because I am not perfect either. Thank you for sharing this post. I love that you uplift women and document the successes we have made over the years!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for your encouragement. I appreciate your taking the time to read and response, i know it was a bit on the lengthy side! You’re right, we have a lot to be grateful for, but you’re right, there’s a long way to go. And it’s true, there’s so much talk about abortion right now. i definitely am not perfect either and i have a lot of things in my past that have caused my body and others pain with the anorexia in my past, but that has given me such appreciation for the value of human life. thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. big hugs to you xo

      Reply

  49. I enjoy some of your posts, probably most of them, but not this thread. It suggests that you have experienced a relatively sheltered life, and simply have no clue about the rest of the US, much less the world.

    A good portion of this country is still in the early 1900s, and some of it craves for the early 1800s from a social perspective — and that means treating women as property, and beating your spouse to where she requires a doctor is a $25 misdemeanor, if there is an arrest at all. (Yes, I can cite recent examples for this, and I’m not kidding about the penalty. As one abuser said, the entertainment value was worth the $25.)

    Some of the facts are obvious and well known, or should be:
    (1) Women are paid roughly 2/3 of what men get for the same jobs.
    (2) Women are underrepresented in the C-suite in major companies.
    (3) Women cannot become President of the US. They can hold that position in other countries, but enough people will vote against them in the US simply based on gender to prevent them from winning. That was one of a number of factors working against Clinton in the last election, and a factor in analysts saying that any MALE candidate would have won against trump.
    (4) The US is behind most other industrialized countries on maternity leave practices. For example, The Netherlands gives women 16 weeks of leave at 100% pay even if the mother is self-employed, plus a home health aide. Where exactly in the US can you find that? (OK, if you are a member of Congress, maybe.)

    Domestic violence and incest are far more common in the US than most people are willing to acknowledge. There’s a lot of work to be done. If you haven’t seen it, you need to look more carefully. Even in affluent areas, it’s all around you. Who’s wearing dark glasses when they aren’t needed? Who has a little too much makeup? Long sleeves on a hot day? LOOK.

    I’ve no patient for symbolic politics. I don’t care whose face is on the dollar bill. I care about the physical and mental well-being of people. Anything that distracts from that or that might take resources away from that is at least annoying and at worst horrific.

    The Declaration of Independence promised “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” If people don’t have the opportunity for that, it’s a problem. If the problem results from their own bad decisions, well, can’t do much about that. But if the problem is based on skin color, accent, gender, sexual preference (which I don’t see as a choice), that’s something that needs to be fixed.

    I also disagree with you on maternity choice. The is no role for the government in someone’s womb. What she does is between herself and her Deity. If Congress can tell you that you cannot abort a fetus, someday Congress could change and will be able to tell you that you can only have one child and have to abort the rest. Do you really want to give the government that power?

    (I lose patience with so-called “right to life” people. They show no sign of caring for what happens to the child after it is born, so it’s not life they care about, just birth. And they don’t want to pay extra taxes to help the babies abandoned at firehouses.)

    Instead, one of the key issues of the century is what to do with the workers whose jobs are being killed by automation. Are we going to see women with low education pushed into sex work? Store cashiers, restaurant workers, drivers, some medical positions — those jobs are going away. What will happen to the people doing those jobs? That’s going to be a gender battle, when people wake to it.

    There are a lot of very real issues that will be addressed in the next decade. Whose face is on the dollar bill isn’t one of them. What you do with your womb shouldn’t be one of them.

    Reply

    • I would essentially agree with you and add a couple thoughts:

      Pretty sure that true feminism isn’t about dominating a man and emasculating him but I do recall that argument was used to try and keep women from voting and essentially being treated as human beings instead of property.

      I think we can be pro-life – for all life and not just fetuses – and still give women choice. Apparently some states are allowing rapists to sue victims to keep them from aborting the baby created from the rape. Somewhere in there we need to allow for hard choices to be made.

      I’m not an expert in these matters but I think the advances we see are tempered by sad realities. For example, while more women are in university I believe that the fewer men get more of the jobs and then are often paid more for the same work as a woman is doing (very capably usually).

      While more opportunities exist now than ever before I believe feminists see the significant inequalities across society between men and women and the violence against females of all ages as intricacy linked. One begets the other.

      Reply

      • thanks brad, for adding to this dialogue. again, i am grateful to hear from every viewpoint and side. everyone comes to the table, bringing with them their own experiences and perspectives, which then influences their beliefs and positions. There is obviously room for improvement, and these issues are not cut and dry. theres a lot of gray area to navigate, and coming together and hearing everyone leads to respect and understanding. (I think i just mixed 3 metaphors there ๐Ÿ™‚ ) But thank you for this insightful contribution. I really appreciate it! hugs xox

    • Hi Vic, thank you for sharing this response. i appreciate you joining the dialogue and for adding your thoughts. it is clear that you are very passionate about your position, and I just want to say, I hear you. I respect every viewpoint and sincerely am grateful to hear all sides of the issues and learn and grow from each and every person. that was a very thoughtful response and i thank you for sharing it. Lots of things to mull over, here. hugs to you xox

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  50. What you said about men being men in the positive sense is perfect for St Joseph’s Day. The Catholic vision for humanity is what matters.

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  51. Reblogged this on LADYHOOD and commented:
    Women have come so far. I reblogged this post because of the validity of some of the points the original blogger made. Truly valid. I think we as women have made much progress but there is still more to fight for because equality is essential in all areas of life for women and men. Keep marching, keep fighting for our rights, and continue to value human life. It is.important to me to educate women to be the best versions of themselves because.it is The emotional and psychological struggles that cause women to doubt their potential!

    Reply

  52. As long as feminism is even remotely associated with purple haired women dressed as vaginas marching, and carrying signs that lecture on morality then I’ll reject feminism. My own definition more closely resembles yours as depicted in this article. A good read and one that provokes thought, as the comments following the article attest.

    Reply

  53. Well, well, didn’t you open up a can of worms ๐Ÿ™‚ I love opinions. I like to see what people think on subjects. It’s how we learn, grow and understand people in the world around us. I am particularly impressed at how you voiced your opinion, with out being malicious. That says a lot about a persons character ๐Ÿ™‚ No attacking, no condemnation, just your opinion. It’s the way civilized people should behave and we’d get a lot more accomplished. When the vicious, venom starts is when things come to a screeching halt and we all stand stagnant, rotting in the position we are in and nothing improves. As always, it was a pleasure to read.

    Reply

    • Thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚ THat’s so kind of you to say. I think you’re absolutely right – there is something to be learned, new insight and perspective to be gained from every person. and a healthy dialogue is a really great tool ! vicious attacks, especially when it gets personal, is a far cry from beneficial. thanks for the support and encouragement! big hugs xox

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  55. Hello my dear friend, finally some has the nerve to call it like they see it. I stand with you on more than one issue. I too am confused about the marching and I don’t live in America. Your post was exactly what need to read. America needs to read this post. Women are beautiful creatures yes that I agree with. However changing the narrative is what America needs right now. Every thing you said about women in the post tonight speaks volumes. Although I would never refer to women as those in the music and television industry does. The marches happen because of liberalism. I agree that some laws need to changed for example Obama Care, Wages, and bringing the Bible into schools. I don’t think women need to reminded that they were not favoured years ago. Time has passed. Women and Men everywhere are appreciated by me and others. After all.. I appreciate you, and you appreciate me. We may have our disagreements but at the end of the day we still pray to the same God. THUS making you a friend indeed. Oh by the way, don’t even get me started on the “industry” It’s truly a trap door into the pit.. Sex is a beautiful act of two people coming together in Love, mind you they have each other’s ring on to be in that state of love to partake in such things. However America has given over to the lust of the world and pride of life. Most certainly the lust of the flesh. God created love to create life. The enemy has defiled the act of love and turned into lust and thus creating disease. See the difference?

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  56. “But if weโ€™re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?”

    So, wearing something that makes us feel sexy and honoring ourselves in that way is not respecting our bodies? I’m confused.
    Also, I don’t think you completely understand what feminism is. There’s been a lot of branches come out of it and the most mainstream one has always been about wanting to do what men do. Feminism is not an attack on men. It is not about emasculating men. It is not even wanting to take the place of men. This branch has dampened and clouded the entire truth of Feminism and where it came from. It’s distorted. Feminism is about what you mentioned above. It’s shifting away from the idea that we’re “only made to have children.” That is ludicrous in my opinion. It’s about the right to choose, the right to have control over their reproductive health, and the right to walk around in this world in whatever it is they want to wear without being catcalled or susceptible to sexual assault. Women are seen as objects. Point blank period. We are constantly sexualized and it’s always a “surprise” when our intelligence or humor is noticed, almost as though we’re not actual human beings. Girls are not allowed to wear shorts, tank tops, leggings or v-necks, especially here in the south even if it’s 100 degrees, because it’s a distraction for the boys. We aren’t allowed to be comfortable because it may rile them up. It’s about equal pay. It’s about having the same opportunities as any man, provided they would be interested in pursuing them. It’s about having a voice, not being ridiculed or brushed off because we’re “irrational” or “on our period.” Just because you may have had more privilege or better experiences does not mean it’s the same for others. Far from it. You’re lucky, and should be grateful for that. I lovingly ask you to not project your personal reality onto others. It’s subjective. Encouraging feminism (the true basis of it) is actually what will help even the scales between the masculine and the feminine. I appreciate your candidness here and courage to share your thoughts, but I simply do not agree.

    Reply

    • Hi Kayla, thank you so much for joining the dialogue and sharing your thoughts. I sincerely appreciate hearing the different viewpoints and ideas. You’re right, as a caucasian woman in America, i definitely have a lot to be grateful for, which I fully am. I just wanted to clarify that i don’t associate *all* feminism with emasculating men. i just have seen that as a trend in the marches. again, feminism is not a bad thing – i just prefer a slightly different definition that is more about celebrating our differences as uniquely female. but there is a lot of great food for thought here that i am taking to heart, so thank you for sharing that. big hugs to you xox

      Reply

  57. I think there is still a place for feminism. However, skipping work, because it is the International Women’s Day, that message is lost on me, and seems to come from a place of privilege and arrogance.
    I live in a fairly liberal college town. Those who would identify loudly as feminists have their flaws like anyone else does. It is one thing to participate in a march. It is another thing to actually DO something on a grass roots level that would improve conditions for all women.

    Regarding an earlier comment about not all birth control methods for women being covered, but that Viagra is, I’d suggest you do more research on this. Sildenafil(generic Viagra) is also used to treat pulmonary hypertension, and have heard through some of the patients who take this that is not cheap.

    I think the brand of feminism that has come out of the election has been somewhat troubling and assumes men face no issues of their own. Having a son has made me more aware of these issues than I had been previously.

    Reply

    • Hi Kate, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. You’re right, the type of feminism that has come out post election has been an aggressive type that is not taking into account the feelings and views of all women, and it is troubling at best. I can only imagine the hurdles you’re facing as you raise a strong son in today’s society. Hang in there and take heart. it sounds like you’ve got a really solid foundation upon which you’re helping him grow him into a great person ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  58. Best thing I’ve read all day! Thank you for this. I completely agree. I feel these women are doing more harm then good by their marches and fights for feminism. They may think they’re representing women, but they are definitely not representing me. God made us to be different, so let’s celebrate that and fight for something that’s worth fighting for.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Carla! I really appreciate the support. you’re so right! God gave us unique, special, feminine qualities that we bring with us into whatever job we do! Yes, let’s celebrate that! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  59. Love this post, agree 100%! For things to get better we don’t need marches and feminism we need for men and women to embrace their God given roles which are perfect compliments to one another. Eve was made specifically to be Adam’s help meet, women are the glory of men, we are treasures to be cherished as precious blessings from God. Not objects to be used, abused, and discarded. The bible is very clear on the roles of each sex on their own and in relation to each other. If those roles were once more instilled into society (whether you are a believer or not the roles themselves presented in the bible are complementary and good.with women being viewed as equals to men. I know it says they are the weaker vessel, this means in brute strength, not lesser.) then the issues we see in all societies between men and women would cease to exist. But when we turn our backs on God and his ways then we get what we have today – a bunch of people hurting each other and themselves in the name of pleasure. (Yes, that includes killing the unborn after a few moments of sexual pleasure had consequences that were undesired! If a woman wants to choose what happens to her body then choose before it happens to have a second body in it. Choose before there is another soul depending on her for protection, choose not to do those acts which create that innocent life within a woman’s womb if you don’t want children. Virginity till marriage is admirable, is biblical, is practical. It’s the only 100% sure way of not creating another life. I know that not all pregnancies begin by choice, my first one didn’t, I was raped, but the added wrong of brutal murder (let’s be honest that’s what it is – a person is a person no matter how small, the soul is there at the moment of conception) of that innocent baby is not going to fix it. Two wrongs will never make a right.

    Sorry, off my soapbox now. You’ve read my posts and know my feelings on these issues, it sometimes pours out of me. I weep and pray for our world, for the littles. Thanks again for speaking it much more eloquently than I am able and for speaking for the children.

    Reply

    • thank you so much for sharing this and for joining in the dialogue. First of all, I am so sorry to hear that you went through that devastating event. I am so sorry that that person did not treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve. you did not deserve that, and my heart just goes out to you. you are in my heart and prayers, my friend. I also agree with you about men and women. we are a perfect compliment to one another, and we should celebrate those uniquely feminine qualities that give us awesome talents and abilities. we bring them with us into any role we fill. Thanks again for stopping by. sending all my love ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs ox

      Reply

      • Thank you. It happened over 20 years ago, I was young, I was planning to keep the baby but it wasn’t meant to be, I miscarried at 4 mos. I am always reminded of it when I hear people use rape as a valid excuse for abortion. That’s the same as saying it’s a valid excuse to kill the rapist. Either is murder. I know one day I will see that my first child again, and God brought my amazing husband into my life a month after the miscarriage. 12 years ago we were blessed with our amazing son who will one day meet his brother or sister in heaven. God uses all things for good and even though I wasn’t saved when it happened in fact not for another 13 years, God used that situation to shape my believe about abortion. It was a hard situation but it made me who I am today. Thanks again, friend. May God bless and keep you.

      • Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about that. gosh, it breaks my heart. Yes, you will. I always find comfort in knowing that we will be reunited with our loved ones one day in Heaven. And yes, your baby will be waiting to give you a big hug. Yes, He works all things for good. Amen. Thanks again for sharing this.you are an incredible person. xoxoxoxox

  60. “But I honestly donโ€™t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that weโ€™re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman.”

    Nailed it. There IS an attack on women, but it is not coming from the places feminists say it is, and it is not targeted towards the places feminists say it is.

    Reply

    • thanks Brandon! That’s so true! there really is. i mean, we could do a whole article about all the different, not-talked-about places! thanks for taking the time to read and respond. big hugs x

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  63. I am not sure if I can call myself a feminist but this is what I believe in: Us females have equal HUMAN rights as males BUT I do believe that man should be a step ahead of us women. We shouldn’t bereft them of their ability to become a man, a family provider, a hero; everything that makes a man a man. I agree to this blog!

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  64. Love this post. I have long hemmed and hawed about how to address this issue on my own blog, but Iโ€™ve worried I wouldnโ€™t be able to say it eloquently or lovingly. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You said it beautifully and respectfully, IMO. I just cringed a little at the end when you wrote, “A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more.” And I just have to ask, why must we be MORE? Why isn’t it enough to be on par or even, heaven forbid, a little inferior than man? Not inferior in WORTH, but just look at our body structureโ€”you take the strongest man and put him next to the strongest woman and that man is going to be stronger. Sorry, ladies. That doesnโ€™t mean itโ€™s a BAD thing. And again, our worth is not on the line. So what if weโ€™re a little less capable in certain areas? Men are a little less capable than women in other areas. And itโ€™s only when we come together that we can make a whole. But our intrinsic value is the same in God’s eyes, no matter our sex, our race, or the baggage we carry.

    I don’t know why our society is so fixated on making everything equal–or allowing the pendulum to fully swing in the opposite direction. Even Jesus’ parables in the Bible didn’t show equality (the three men with the different number of talents; the workers who worked all day vs. those that came in at the end, yet they were all paid the same amount). For that matter, Jesus wasnโ€™t fair among his disciples! Only three of them went with him to the Mount of Ascension (imagine how the other nine must have grumbled). ๐Ÿ˜‰ And think of all the times in the OT when the younger brother got the blessings and the fame instead of the older ones (Jacob, Joseph, David, to name a few). Jesus himself said the last shall be first, to gain our lives we must lose it, and that he didnโ€™t come to serve but to be served. Weโ€™re not a very โ€œserving-oriented” country these days. (Trying to push God out of said country might have something to do with itโ€”haha.) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    In the end, the issue is being respectful of others’ strengths and weaknesses, and not getting jealous or resentful or feeling threatened when someone else has something–be it material or a character trait, etc.–that we don’t have. We have a tendency to look up or down at others when comparing, when instead we should โ€œkeep our eyes on our own papers,” as someone recently said to me. Such a hard concept in this land of plenty!

    Again, thanks for having the guts to post this. I pray God blesses your socks off for being faithful to His call. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • wow, what an awesome (and eloquently put!) response! thank you so much for sharing this. it was a joy to read. you’re so right, the bible is full of that. and also, the bible was not “anti-women” in the least! so much of what you said – nay, ALL – resonated with me and I found myself nodding my head. to clarify my “and more” statement, i was merely referring to our childbearing capabilities. ๐Ÿ™‚ but you’re right, men have uniquely masculine traits and we have uniquely feminine traits and yes, together we make a complete pair. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for stopping by! big hugs, and God bless your socks off too! ๐Ÿ˜‰ xoxox

      Reply

  67. I hate that as a 26 year old woman in 2017, I am not allowed to have these same beliefs and convictions without being called “anti-women” or intolerant.

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  68. I have to say i disagree with this midset that the US does not need feminism. Feminism has been twisted around by a lot of people but at its essence it is equality between all people. Men and women. Not sameness, equality. Too many so called feminists twist that to mean that it is time for women to have their day in the sun and push it to the point that they treat men the exact way that they don’t want women to be treated. And too many people think that things are so good in the US that feminism is not needed anymore. But even though the US is better than most countries for equality it still is not equal. You see that yourself when you talk about how there is still unequal wages, issues with rape, and so many other things. Plus add on all the constant flicks women get daily. Flicks like your landlord being surprised you actually know how to handle tools. Flicks when guys think they are complimenting you by telling you you are too pretty to be an engineer. Flicks and flicks and flicks that are all socially acceptable. It needs to stop. That is why we need feminists. Real feminists who help it pull feminism’s name back out of the gutter. I think there is even a feminist in you because you see we aren’t equal yet. Even if you think the US is pretty damn close at least be a feminists for all thise countries that aren’t.

    Reply

    • thank you so much for this thoughtful response. i really appreciate you joining the dialogue and sharing your perspective! i do feel you on the “flicks.” that’s a great way to put it. i think there needs to be a change in our culture, and the depiction of women in the media to help combat that. it is such a challenging issue because the solutions are hard to come by and implement. but it all boils down to respect. for all people. and that is a lesson that is learned in the home. love the dialogue! and i sincerely appreciate hearing from all sides. ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  69. My dear friend

    I think that women are not yet in a balanced position beween men and women. I can only compare it to Europe: In politics they are still minorities and do not have that stand as men have – so more male politicians determine the direction of the politics. Another point is salary: Women do not yet get the same salary for the same job with reference to men’s salary. There are surely more points that show an imbalance in comparation to men. On the other side there is always a risk that women protests may just aim at reaching the imbalance but then just vise versa. Anyway it is their right to fight for the balance. If there are equal rights for women and men – then all is fine – and then there is no longer the separation between women and men but the respect that we are all, first of all, – human beings – which should be treated equally.

    Thanks for sharing, my friend ๐Ÿ™‚
    All good wishes
    Didi

    Reply

    • Hi Didi, thank you so much for this thoughtful response and for joining the dialogue! you’re right, there is definitely room for improvement in those areas. and that is so true – everything comes down to respect – for all people. that is a non-negotiable. thanks again for sharing your views. i am less up-to-speed on the conditions in Europe, so i appreciate you shedding light on that ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  70. I totally agree with your opinion, even i feel the same. But some where and maybe those who are passing through this problem of not geting equal opportunity in society will be fighting but even around me i see everyone is getting the opportunities but some are there who may not get up and take the oportunities.

    Reply

    • Hi Sona! thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I think you’re right, i think the opportunities are definitely there. of course, there is room for improvement, but women are not “second tier.” they’re movers and shakers in the business world, starting and running companies, inventing and innovating things, doing all that a man does, and more! it’s worth celebrating. thanks for stopping by and for passing on my blog on your site! big hugs xox

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  72. Thanks for a good read.

    No wonder Emma Watson was very confused about the ruckus over her posing in an open crochet top. Where are the pro-feminism topless female marchers speaking up in her defense? What are women are fighting for? Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female? Is it because women can wear anything or openly bear their chests as in the topless culture of Bali?

    On Tue, Mar 21, 2017 at 6:59 AM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Lately, itโ€™s been really weird to be a woman. > Not because of any fashion or makeup trendsโ€ฆalthough, I will sayโ€ฆI donโ€™t > quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad. But because of all > the recent hyper focus onโ€ฆfeminism. The Womenโ€™s March, Int” >

    Reply

    • thank you so much for sharing these thoughts! yeah, there is definitely a lot of media coverage over Watson’s words and actions here recently. it’s fascinating to watch it play out, to say the least. hugs xox

      Reply

  73. Reblogged this on WildTangents and commented:
    Feminity redefined
    . I had to reblog this because of the very valid points the author made. Feminism has gradually evolved into a man-hating movement whilst propagating a lot of immoral ideas. It is alright to teach young women to love themselves and their bodies. It is alright to want equity. It is alright to speak out for the millions of women that are oppressed all over the world. The most important thing is that we teach and encourage young women to look within themselves and discover that which makes them unique. And then look out into the world and effect positive changes.

    Reply

  74. Oh, I am SO gonna re-post this on my blog.

    But on another note, who takes your pictures? There is somebody else we are not seeing, right? They’re not ALL selfies, are they?

    Reply

    • Hey Anthony! thank you so much for repost ing my piece and for saying such kind words about my blog ๐Ÿ™‚ haha oh gosh, a magician never reveals her secrets ๐Ÿ˜‰ jk jk — i have a studio of sorts in my apartment in NYC with a tripod and lighting and such for my acting audition videos. so i use that. but in ohio, they’re just good old selfies! hahaha you caught me!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

  75. Reblogged this on The Recovering Legalist and commented:
    Trust me, whenever I reblog something from another writer, it’s worth the read, and this is no exception. The world needs more women like this – REAL women – who love being women, and want men to be REAL men.

    All I can say is, “DADGUM this post was refreshing!”

    Reply

  76. I support feminism too, I have a friend who is a Feminist and pro-life with some objections but, God knows I have those same objections He knows how I feel about it and I think he understands me for it. I really think abortion should be allowed in extreme circumstances for example a result of rape or the health of the mother is evidently at risk by proceeding
    Anyway hope you and your mother are well ๐Ÿ˜˜ sending you both lots of love and prayers ๐Ÿ’œ xxx

    Reply

    • thanks for this thoughtful response, Benjamin. And for your continued prayers for my mom and i. that truly means the world. and thank you for sharing your views! it is definitely a delicate and emotionally charged topic, and I thank you for joining the dialogue! hope you have a great day! big hugs xox

      Reply

      • thank you so much for asking, she’s doing great – better every day. still a long way to go, but she’s amazing, and is a fighter! ๐Ÿ™‚ and ohhhhh i hate the dentist ugh….well, at least it’s over and done with for another six months ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs xox

      • oh my goodness, you are so kind Benjamin. thank you. i’m doing okay. just trying to take it one day at a time. i’m really trying to figure out what to do with my life haha and more specifically where i’m going to live. i’m being pulled in both directions. so who knows. just trying to trust. thanks for asking. you’re a great friend ๐Ÿ™‚ xox

  77. You know something I’ve been a way left liberal in the past. I even got into it with over your views but even though I still don’t support that guy for more obvious reasons than ever. I have to admit that I’m leaning more conservative on most of these other views. I agree with you completely on this post. I see a lot growth, you go at both side; both men and women. I’m actually considering dropping out of art school because I shared my views to these liberal so called open minded individuals and got crucified for it.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much ๐Ÿ™‚ oh no, I’m sorry that you experienced that at art school. I hope that things work out there so that you can finish your schooling, i know how much hard work that is! sending you big hugs for that. i was just hoping to start a dialogue, and I’m so grateful for people taking the time to respond! thanks for stopping by. great to hear from you and i hope you have a better week at art school this week ๐Ÿ™‚ xo

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  79. I think you pretty much nailed it here. When feminism becomes all about wanting to do everything males do whilst disregarding all the things males CANNOT do then the entire concept loses its validity and becomes nothing more than a laughing stock. Neo feminists are the new militant vegans and nobody is taking them seriously. I hope posts like this make them see that and readjust their goals.

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    • thank you so much Paul. i think you’re right, it should be seen as a competitive jockeying for the upper hand. it leaves me feeling cold if i’m honest. haha i’m actually vegan ๐Ÿ™‚ but because i have a digestive disease and its part of my therapeutic diet to keep me in remission ๐Ÿ™‚ lolol but seriously, thank you for sharing your insight and joining the dialogue! hugs xox

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      • I have nothing against vegans of course. I was just meaning in terms of them being the butt of jokes. It was a post worthy of commenting on as I think feminism is starting to make a mockery of itself in some ways and your post reinforced my suspicions. I’m not surprised it has received as many likes as it has x

      • hahah i know, i was just giving you a hard time ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰ and making fun of myself in the process ๐Ÿ™‚ hehe Thanks again for your powerful insight. much appreciated! xoxo

      • You’re welcome ๐Ÿ™‚ They do say you can’t take the mick out of anybody if you can’t take the mick out of yourself. Haha.

  80. I am so saddened by this post on more levels than I can probably address in a short comment but mostly about the comments on abortion. I’m a woman of faith, but I was raped, by a family member, repeatedly when I was young. As a young teenager I became pregnant. My ONLY way of gaining some control over that situation was to choose to terminate that pregnancy – one I had not consented to. I prayed for a way to see how I could love a child forced upon me, how to explain to that child what it had been created from and who its father was but there were no answers to those prayers. I prayed I could forgive, I prayed and prayed but I have never felt fear or loathing or desperation like it. Having a choice was my life line without a doubt, having a choice saved my life, having a choice bought my situation to the attention of those who could help me out of it. A woman’s body is hers alone to choose what to do with it, have sex, tattoo it, dress it, have a baby, not have a baby – for years I had that taken away from me, the choice of what to do with my body and someone else abused it. To suggest that someone/anyone should have say in what another woman would choose to do with her body disturbs me.

    And as for letting a man be a man…is it ok if that man in all his masculine glory, thinking he is the highest form of masculinity when he is guarding, protecting his family, thinks it is ok to beat the women in it, to abuse them, to rape them…is that ok? Is it ok to say that is in their nature? No, it is not.

    I am female. I am woman but I am no longer soft and delicate. A man changed that. I am strong, I have choices.

    When I march for women I don’t just look at the narrow view that I’m marching for the women I live and work besides, damn we are the lucky ones…. step outside your confines and see how women in other parts of the world live in abject poverty and with no rights, no education, married without choice, and try to fit your arguments to that. That is who we march for – ALL women.

    Reply

    • Hi Reena, thank you so much for sharing your story. My heart just goes out to you. I am so sorry that you were put through that growing up. My heart breaks to think that the family member, who was supposed to love and protect you, would do harm to that little life they were entrusted with. that is not right. you did not deserve that. you deserved to be cherished. protected. honored. respected. and i just, am so saddened to hear that you went through that. That man was not strong or masculine, he was a coward. and the anthesis of a Godly man. and i am just so sorry that happened. Thank you for sharing your stance on these things. I sincerely appreciate learning from every single person. we all have different experiences and perspectives that we bring to the table, and it creates a beautiful and powerful dialogue. Though i have not been raped, i have been sexually assaulted. And that coupled with the anorexia in my past has contributed to the beliefs I hold on life and some other issues. Again, thank you for sharing your story. that took a lot of courage, and i just want to say that you are such a strong woman. and i admire your fortitude. hugs xox

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  82. Amen, thank you for this. Especially for articulating the pro-life position. Some might say I don’t have a right to weigh in, because I’m a man, but I will only say this: I have always endeavored to treat women with the utmost respect, principally because of how my Dad treated my Mom. He wasn’t perfect of course, but honored her.

    I have had friends justify their infidelity to their wife our girlfriend by saying things like “I’m only human, just a man, I have needs.” These are the lies of the enemy.

    We are commanded to love our wives as Christ loves the church. There is no higher standard. Men need to step up to their commitments to their families, leave a legscy for their sons and daughters.

    Continued prayers for you and your Mom.

    Reply

    • Hello! thanks so much for this encouragement, and for your continued prayers for my mom. it really means a lot. I don’t think you’re “not allowed” to have an opinion because you’re a man! you are *definitely* allowed! as a society, we’re all in this together, and it’s going to take a dialogue and honest conversation from all people in order to heal from this stark divide right now that many women feel. We need more men like you! ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s so great: respect is what it all comes down to. amen amen amen – Christ is that perfect example of self-giving love. loved reading your words. thanks for sharing! hugs xox

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  83. Great article and thank you for sharing your thoughs on what feminism is and is not. Yes, females need to be respected and given the same opertinities in life as men do. Yet, here is the key females and males are different, they are not the same. These differences are both biological and socially driven. It is not just that men need to respect women for who they are and for those differences and what they bring to the table; and most men do I think. I know that I myself as a male have great respect for the female half of the human race; but females (feminests) need to do the same as well for men. Men need to respect and acknowlege the “womanness” of females, and women need to respect and acknowlege the “maleness” of men. Read the two books by Louann Brisendine “The Female Brain” and “The Male Brain.” These books really claify just how different males and females are and yet through those differences just how close to each other each are. The two sexes are not the same, yet really do complament each other. We really can’t live with out the other, and yet sometimes it does seem we cannot live with eachother.๐Ÿ˜…

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    • Thank you so much, Chase, for sharing this thoughtful response. there’s a lot of really great food for thought here. you’re right, we each were made uniquely male and uniquely female, and we are a complimentary pair — both physically and emotionally. The unique traits we bring to our various role specifically equip us to be the best we can be at them! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  84. Another fearless well written post speaking the truth in love and concern. Admire you all we can do is use the opportunities we can to witness to what we know. Thanks for doing that. And besides, you write so well. Cannot wait to see what next you are lead to write. John

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, John. That’s very kind of you to say. You’re right – we all bring different experiences and viewpoints to the table. and i love, in a dialogue, hearing all of them! that’s how we grow ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  86. Yes, it’s about control and self-destruction in our country. But as some have commented there is a remnant saved by grace. Those like you who have true wisdom and a God given voice to proclaim that are doing very well. Very well indeed. Keep growing in strength as you move forward with shrewdness and cunning at times.
    Thank you.

    Reply

  87. It seems that today’s society attempts to solve its problems by demonizing someone.This only diminishes common ground and takes away opportunities to build relationships. It is nice to see that someone like you is looking at what is wrong but including men in the solution instead of defining men as being the problem and looking for ways to reduce them to impotent relics of the past.

    Love your writing.

    Reply

    • thanks Mike, for sharing this thoughtful response. i really appreciate the encouragement. yeah, i don’t think demonizing one whole *group* is going to do any good. it’s communication and working together that will make progress happen. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  88. This topic isn’t a new one. Back in the ’70’s’ we visited it big time. Rights of women were shoved down our throats. Hundreds, thousands of years ago this was an issue. It wasn’t until I viewed my role as a women in the eyes of how I was created that I was freed from the bonds of world views. God has a plan for all women. Seeking what that is through the Bible (yes, the ‘B” word) is how we know who we really are. Not eyes on our society, nor our friends, but freedom in Christ.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective. i am right there with you! God was definitely *not* anti-woman! He has a beautiful plan for all of us, and it will include our uniquely feminine gifts! that is something to celebrate ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  89. This is a fantastic write-up. Wouldn’t mind the honour of publishing this on my blog with your permission

    Reply

  91. Hey BBB! I’ve been off blog for a while but I am working on catching up with your writing. You know everyone’s view is different so everyone’s experience is different. As someone who has been guilty of reducing women to objects in my head and in relationships I know that women are marginalized by such objectification. As someone trying to broaden his scope on feminism and females in general I appreciate anything anyone can tell me about feminism. It’s not easy to admit that I was once (and still have impulses) toward reducing women to objects that can fill my needs (not just physical but also emotional needs) but I hope that in my humble and sorrowful admission the conversation can start. Women in the U.S. have it great compared to so many other countries, but that doesn’t mean the conversation stops. We are never done getting better as individuals or as a country. Thanks for posting and expect a flood of comments on your old stuff as I get caught up ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • thank you so much for sharing this. i think you’re right – continuing the conversation is important for healing and our growth as a society. and it’s so true – everyone is coming to the table with different experiences, beliefs and ideas — and that’s what makes the dialogue so fruitful! thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

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  92. Feminism hasn’t always been perfect, but it has done a lot of good. Some of the earliest first-wave feminists were abolitionists who spoke against the moral evils of the institution of slavery back in their day. They challenged the idea that the feminine ideal was the Victorian standard of beauty. The prevailing school of thought in their time was the Cult of Domesticity / True Womanhood which held that a woman’s place was in her home. Back then, it wasn’t acceptable for women to work and they had to rely on the charity of their churches to support them. Next time you sing ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust In Jesus’; remember that the widow who wrote it had to raise her daughter on the charity of her church because it wasn’t acceptable for her to work; though to some degree poor women have always worked, they always had a lesser wage in those days. We had Feminists stand up against the evils of alcoholism and push for Prohibition; after it was repealed the won the vote for women. The second-wave feminists used the era of civil change in the 1960s to challenge the status quo; they abolished the need for women to have a man’s countersignature to take out a loan among other things. It’s the third-wave feminists who have fought for abortion as well as better paid maternal leave – something America comes in at last place; for some odd reason, men over the last century or so have missed that one and sometimes they need a little help in seeing other areas where their policies are short-sighted or unfair as they’re not women and don’t fully understand the need for such changes. What else could there be that needs attention if they’ve missed that? I think that there’s always room for improvement. Christianity leaves a lot to be desired; as the rules sometimes prohibit or limit women from becoming pastors or otherwise lets them become ‘directors’ but only of the womens’ and childrens’ ministries (so long as they aren’t actually given the title or pay of a pastor they can carry out basically the same responsibilities of one.) The idea that men and women have complimentary roles doesn’t help Christianity’s singles feel as if they belong without somebody to lead or somebody to follow. One woman told me about her search for a church where women were kept quiet so that she could be as biblical as possible while wearing her head covering in submission to her husband’s authority over her. I’m pretty sure that some denominations have never had a woman take up the highest seat of authority in their group; however high a woman can climb, there must always be a man whose role is to be in charge above and beyond her level. So feminists and Christians both are against the objectification of women; they are simply each going by a different definition of what they think objectification is. If our policies could ensure women could have children without it negatively impacting their career, they might feel a lot more comfortable about being both a mother and a worker; just as fathers do.

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    • Hi Jamie, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. there’s so much powerful information here. Early feminists have definitely brought about a lot of changes that I personally have benefitted from, for which i am grateful. it makes me sad that some religions put down women like that. because God was definitely *not* anti-woman. He made us to be uniquely feminine, with incredible traits that are uniquely feminine that we bring with us to every role we take on. and those special qualities make us awesome at those roles! men and women are a complementary – and equal – pair. and it all goes back to respect. for all people. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Reply

  93. Let’s start with the definition of feminism:
    femยทiยทnism
    หˆfemษ™หŒnizษ™m/
    noun
    noun: feminism

    the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
    synonyms: the women’s movement, the feminist movement, women’s liberation, female emancipation, women’s rights; informal women’s lib.

    I’m glad you do not experience any negative issues being a woman in this country. And some of your points are valid. BUT, I cannot believe you don’t understand what women are fighting for in this country. Equal pay, ending blatant sexism (just read/listen to our sexist President for examples), the treatment of women in the workforce and society in general as the “weaker sex” or “bitchy vs authoritative” and so on, reproductive rights (I understand you are pro-life but that’s your choice), healthcare provided without considering being a woman as a “pre-existing condition”, dismantling the rape culture, etc.

    You say a woman can wear whatever they want in one sentence, but in another you state that if a woman wears something provocative or sexy (“lingerie” style is what you mentioned), that is not okay as it could encourage the wrong type of behavior by a male. You have a number of contradictions in what you state and that is concerning.

    I do agree that dressing like a vagina is not a way to be taken seriously. I did not participate in the “Women’s Strike” as I felt that was ineffectual and honestly bratty. I also agree that women in the US have it better than a lot of places in the world. But as a feminist, I am not just fighting for things to improve here. I am fighting for women to be treated equally throughout the world. It’s small minded to think that women here only care about what’s happening in our country.

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    • Thank you Aniela, for joining the dialogue and for sharing this response. You’re right, conditions for women in other countries around the world are not as they are here in the states, and that needs to change. i appreciate the passion with which you hold your beliefs. that is so awesome. thank you again for taking the time to read and respond. i sincerely appreciate hearing from all sides and having a dialogue. big hugs xox

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  94. Thank you for this post. Well thought out, well organized, well written. One of the best statements of practical and reasonable thinking regarding feminism I have read. Hat tip to you for this. Keep up the good work!

    One of the many great thoughts in your post: “Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each otherโ€™s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.”

    Thank you for this. Men need to stop being lazy and selfish regarding their own masculinity. Real men will “respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.”

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    • Thank you so much for this encouragement ! it really means a lot. i was incredibly nervous to publish this piece, so the affirming words are so very appreciated. so glad you stopped by and i’m glad you enjoyed the read! big hugs xox

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  95. Hey there! I hope you’ve been well! Always love your content–I’m trying to catch up on everyone’s stuff these days, honestly haha! Life, you know? ๐Ÿ˜›

    Although I am a male, I do support feminism–and not because I’m some “hipster, touchy-feely, so-and-so” type of guy. You know and I know, and I’m not afraid to own up to it, that I’m Christ first and world second. After I say that I usually tell Christians and non-Christians alike that Christ secured me and nothing changes that.

    As Merriam-Webster defines it, feminism is: “1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes”. What is, in my view, the biggest thing to take home is that it’s aiming for…where is my italics…*equality* of the sexes. I have feminist friends–heck my girlfriend is feminist (and Christ-centered)–and without a doubt they all understand that, like you alluded to, a *lot* of progress has been made for women! No one denies that. Talk to my mom, who is like, 63 years old, and she will straight up say, “Heck yes we’ve made a ton of progress, it used to be way more unfair–way worse.”

    But she would also say though that progress is still to be made, as with anything in life. We can’t deny that culturally (and remember, I’m a man speaking here), men still hold a powerful grip of the cultural narrative. Sure, we had a woman run for President–but you have to admit there was some strange cognitive dissonance going on in terms of how voters regarded words and actions of one candidate to another. Yes, it may be true that 57% of college students are female–that’s great. But the issue, generally speaking, is a statistic like this: in my state alone, as of 2015, the median annual earnings and earnings ratio for full-time, year round workers was
    $47,092 for a male to $35,753 to a female. That’s a staunch 76% gap, and when you consider the same measurement to the US average–$51,212 to $40,742, that’s an 80% gap–even worse (AAUW).

    I will say that there are some people who misconstrue feminism, or misuse the agenda to be crazy. I am not excusing those people at all–heck, we as Faith-First believers in Jesus Christ have our fair share as well. Feminism, however, is not meant to be “women are better than men” by any stretch. It’s just about a fair shake in the arena. If God blesses me with a daughter, I would want her to have an equal shot and doing some great things, just as I have.

    The good news is, with good people like you who are open to discourse and discussion, even if we disagree or don’t line up thought-wise, we can empathize with each other and be above hatred, slander and stooping to an otherwise hurtful and low standard! ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s why I like reading what you write!

    Plus we can all agree God is #1. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    • Hi! thank you so much for this powerful perspective and thoughtful response. i appreciate you joining the dialogue with such an eloquent and insightful reflection. i sincerely enjoy the dialogue because i learn from every single person on here (which, i am so grateful for! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) i’m so with you on there – there is definitely room for improvement. those statistics are disappointing that you shared. because you’re right, equality is important. God made us equals, with unique characteristics – both masculine and feminine – that we bring with us to whatever job or role we take on that make us awesome at that job. one is not better than the other. and i’m with you on that – women and men should have an equal shot ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks again for sharing your thoughts. God is good!! ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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      • You’re so awesome! So glad we can read from each other on WordPress, seriously!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Also I wanted to tell you, I swear I saw your face on a book haha!

      • oh really? haha, well that would be news to me about the book! lolol and me too. truly! i’m so glad that our paths crossed! i love reading your words! ๐Ÿ™‚ xox

      • Hey there Anthony!

        Yes! As per this Spring 2017 PDF done by the AAUW (http://www.aauw.org/aauw_check/pdf_download/show_pdf.php?file=The-Simple-Truth), the math checks out (I literally just did it with a calculator myself…you made me do math haha).

        For further reference, as stated in the document, the data collected of earnings (and used to calculate earnings ratio) is provided directly by the ACS, or American Community Survey. There’s also a lot of great material regarding pay gap broken down in the 36 pages–I would encourage you if you’re interested to read the whole thing!

        Thanks for being on the ball! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • ALSO to clarify, in case anyone gets mixed up, the 76% and 80% are speaking to the earnings ratio! To clarify, the actual pay GAP nationally is 20% last measured. So, to explain simply, the US national earnings ratio between women and men is 80%–which means women were only being paid, statistically, just 80% of what men were paid. THAT’s the gap of 20%!

        So to further the example, my state has a EARNINGS RATIO of 76%, which means women are only getting paid 76% of what men are being paid, which is worse than the national average.

        Just wanted to clarify in fairness!

  96. I think what has been driving events like the Women’s March is fear – fear that the political and social gains the women have achieved might be partially undone. Fear that because we now have a President who unabashedly demeans women, misogynists might feel justified in their mistreatment of women.

    Reply

      • One of my sister’s was considering participating in the Day Without a Woman, but she decided not to because she didn’t know what the goal was. She felt that making a statement like that should also have a specific goal in mind.

      • I think your sister was right – I can understand trying to make a statement, but it just fell a little flat to me. But i respect that those women who participated felt really passionate about it and I would love to hear why specifically they chose to take part.Anywho, loving the dialogue!! xox ๐Ÿ™‚

  97. This is such a good article to read – I’ve never “picked a side” as it were when it comes to feminism, and instead just appreciated all views on it and gone from there! But I found this to be so genuine and considerate of all points, and I also found it particularly refreshing seeing how kind and open you were to every single comment you received on this post.

    There needs to be more human beings like you in the world!

    xx

    Reply

    • Oh my gosh, Abby, you are so kind to say that! thank you so much! Yeah, i totally feel you on that – I feel like society kind of dictates that we need to be cut and dry on where we stand on certain things, like feminism, and the fact is, it is a very complex issue, and there is definitely more than one way to approach it or go about it. and i’m with you, i sincerely appreciate hearing all the different viewpoints and learning from everyone. because each person brings a new perspective and experience with them to the table. any who , this is getting long now. just wanted to say how much I appreciate your encouraging words. it really means a lot ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xo

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  98. Thank you for saying it so eloquently. I have a wonderful wife, almost of 18 years, and she is a very STRONG WOMAN. She is part of the 57% going to college, has a full time career and does a wonderful job as a mother and wife. However, she longs for me to lead her, encourage her. And although I haven’t been great at it all the time, we are working through it.

    So here is where Feminism got it start, Gen 3:16 at the curse of man and woman. God said to the woman He said, โ€œI will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will give birth to children;…..” I have seen it four times in my life and yes, women have the blessing to give miraculous life, but it is hard. However, I have yet to meet a mother, who after giving birth, will not look at that child and fell overwhelming love.

    The second half of the verse is where many strong women hate it, “Yet your desire and longing will be for your husband, And he will rule [with authority] over you and be responsible for you.โ€”

    Here is the twofold curse, women will long for men to to lead them. But with all sin, it gets perverted on both side. Women will want to rule over men and men will take the dominating posture toward women. BOTH are wrong.

    Women, be strong! Men lead with grace and mercy!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, Coleman, for this thoughtful refection. it sounds like you and your wife have a beautiful marriage. That is so awesome. You’re right, we are products of a fallen Adam and Eve, and with it comes that unquenchable thirst for power or dominance on all sides. the fall created an imbalance and a restlessness in our hearts that was not meant to be there. and therein lies the trouble. thanks for stopping by and congrats on 18 beautiful years of marriage! that gives me hope ๐Ÿ™‚ haha hugs xo

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  99. Love your topics! It’s so true: we women in the western world have it wonderful! I’ve traveled and seen it myself. But I’ve been thinking…What would the world look like if women took over in the political scene? If women ran the key government positions? If women ruled the powerful nations in the world? That is worth thinking about.

    Because I don’t believe most women as leaders, would go to war over oil, or religion, or controlling more territory. Mothers would not condone the killing of the sons of other mothers. Women would not spend money on weaponry over food supplies for starving children. We recognize that values, giving to and loving others, are a much higher priority than men’s pride and dominance. Women know other ways to achieve the outcomes they want. Now, that kind of influence is something to work for. That is our divine purpose for seeking empowerment for the feminine gender!

    Because if women ruled the world, can you imagine what it actually might look like? Hugs to all my sisters out there!

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    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection, Jane. That is definitely an interesting thought. And gosh, how eloquently you put that. you’re right- those uniquely feminine traits would do wonders if put to use leading a country. that was really powerful to imagine, thank you for inviting me to do so! ๐Ÿ™‚ glad you stopped by! hugs xo

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  101. I am beyond thrilled to read any of your work, but this post in particular resonates with me! I have felt so alone as a woman in this super strange time where it feels like being a woman isn’t enough anymore and I am extremely pleased to see it’s not just me that’s embarrassed by all of the happenings lately. There are so many other things to march and fight for, besides the things we as women in the United States already have. I am also pro-life and I have never understood the abortion arguments stating it’s strictly the mother’s body at stake. Thank you for putting everything I have been feeling into such beautifully written words.

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      • Ditto! Well, I’m all the way over the other side of the earth but I’ve been scratching my head too. It seems really odd. Really, really odd.
        And totally get you about the CULTURE being the fix. Not a march. I’m trying to raise 3 boys to respect all they come across in life & most of that is about taking into account the other person’s views & needs.
        What I’m not hearing enough tho is that it is also the father’s rights (& in a lot of ways, body & mind) that is also at stake when abortion is considered. I’m firmly pro-life & completely behind what you said above.

      • I agree, it all comes down to changing the culture and the narrative we are spewing on TV, in advertisements, and in the home. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. and you’re right, abortion does effect the father too. it is a loss of life, and that has an impact on all parties involved. it’s just not something that people are sympathetic to in the popular pro-choice narrative. but loss is loss, no matter what way you slice it. hugs from the usa ๐Ÿ™‚ xox

  102. Girllllll you went off but in a very good way!!! I love it !! I think women now a days just want to do whatever they want because they can. It’s sad really because that life does not bring you any peace what so ever. But all of this stems from sin and the corruption in this world. Women need to realize that being a woman is beautiful. If you weren’t sleeping with people that you shouldn’t be sleeping with then you wouldn’t even think about an abortion. Hence why waiting until marriage works best. Nothing is wrong with dressing modestly . It makes a woman look even more beautiful . This world is lost and I don’t even speak about this to other women because if they aren’t women of God their views are totally different than mine and they just don’t get it .

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    • Oh Cristal, I am giving you a standing ovation on this response!! thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. Everything you said, I was nodding along with in agreement. Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. I was really nervous about publishing this one, so your affirmation really is appreciated. And i think you’re right – there is so much beauty to be found in womanhood, and all it entails and in whatever role it entails. reading this was one of the highlights of my day! hugs to you xox

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    • Between you and Ms. Caralyn, I think this topic has been beautifully covered! May I just add one thing?

      The last bit – not speaking about this with other women – I would encourage you to reconsider your stance on that. As girls (I dunno, maybe guys do this too), talking to each other is often our best way to encourage one another. When you openly stand for your views, you are encouraging other women to do the same. Also, not all believers know where to stand on this matter. It is my belief that your “neighbor” in Jesus’s command to love your neighbor, is every living person you come into contact with. Including the unborn ones. Thus, you should treat them as you would yourself. However there are girls that are raised in pro-abortion homes but they want to honor God. How can we help them face that divide if we do not speak to them? Or what about the girls who already had an abortion? I know many who regret that decision and have a lifetime of hurt to overcome…..it’s good to talk to these women.

      Even the women who blatantly disagree with your views and your obedience to God are important enough to hear the truth. It’s useless to argue with them. What we can do is give them an opportunity to think about what we believe, and what they themselves believe.

      Shalom!

      Yael Eliyahu

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      • Thank you so much for your words! I never looked at it like that , you made very valid points , it’s easier for me to talk about Jesus and loving one another and spreading the gospel then it is to talk about abortion , only because I’m not sure if I’m able to have kids myself so I get scared that one day someone may throw that in my face when we are discussing abortion and why I’m against it .

  104. Okay….so I have two sons I want to introduce you to, as I’m pretty sure you’re meant for one of them. (Just sayin’.) And on a personal note: while reading your article I could hear ๐Ÿฆ lions roaring in the background! Not aggressively but confidently. And I stand behind you because “I too am Woman…hear me RoaRrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

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    • hahaha oh Dawn, I am not even joking when I say give him my number!! hahahah ๐Ÿ˜‰ But seriously, thank you for the encouragement. i was super nervous to push the publish button, so i can’t begin to express how much i appreciate your kind words. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you have a great afternoon! hugs xo

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  106. You are so brilliant. You, once again, hit the nail on the head. I don’t understand the need for women to make men look like feeble-minded, overgrown children. It’s everywhere, including our TV shows. And the idea of fighting to destroy the ONE THING that makes women unique, special, and “greater”- the ability to give birth – just blows my mind. Perhaps that’s what “feminists” want – to be so equal to a man that they no longer give birth. I’m so glad you wrote this piece. You are truly a lily among the thorns. God bless.

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    • Oh Julee, thank you so much for this encouragement. I think you’re right — i’ve found a trend in commercials recently about the “stupid male” or the “dumb dad” trope. it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Building oneself up does not have to involve tearing someone down. Very interesting thoughts! — thanks again for sharing! hugs xox

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  107. I think you may have missed the point here. There are very significant issues regarding inequality that do not involve belittling men or wearing vagina hats. The fact that there is not equality in pay, 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted and the long history this country has in treating women as less than, makes this very much a civil rights issue. It is beyond theological or philosophical ideas when we discuss other people’s rights and freedom. It sounds like your major disagreement is the method but that isn’t the same as discrediting feminism itself. With regard to anger, I’m not a huge proponent, but I’m also hesitant to criticize the anger of those who have been injured or victimized.

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    • Thanks Clifford, for joining the dialogue and for offering this thoughtful response. it’s in coming together and listening and sharing our individual viewpoints and thoughts and ideas with respect and understanding that true change and healing can come about, and I really appreciate you doing just that. Yeah, as a victim of sexual assault myself, I definitely have seen first hand that ugly side of men who think they’re dominators. That is a change in our culture that needs to happen, pronto. Very eloquent thoughts, thanks again for sharing. hugs ox

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    • This is a valid point when the person’s anger is contained into their own life and surroundings; but I’d say when their anger is infecting a lot of young girls who haven’t been given a reason to be angry, then it is going too far and they should not get away with it. I heard feministic messages when I was a little kid and not old enough to know if they were true or not, so I speak from personal concern.

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      • Thanks for the response. I don’t want to hijack this forum with too much back and forth so I’ll limit my response. We are all subjected to messages from parents and others long before we have the executive functioning to discern. Alternative views and passions are unavoidable. And I will reiterate, I think we have to be cautious about judging other people’s anger without knowing their story- but for the grace of God err go I. We may be splitting hairs at this point and arguing over the extreme ends of things though, my comment was directed toward feminism in general. I appreciate your concerns and your civil retort.

  109. Loved this post ๐Ÿ‘. Although I’m still so young, I’m not an ignorant individual but this really showed me how much more I still need to learn about society, feminism and the social issues around us. What a thought provoking post, great job ๐Ÿ˜Š.

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    • thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚ i’m glad this struck a chord with you! oh yes, i still have a lot i need to learn too, and i am so grateful for all the different perspectives and insights people are sharing here! ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for stopping by and joining the convo! hugs xox

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  111. I love your argument here. I also feel that society would not comprehend it … And, I have to say, abortion/pro life is not an easy question. It is in essence not all about those women who wish to use termination as a contraceptive because they’ve slept with someone and got pregnant while using sex as a recreational activity. Having legal, clinical, means to end pregnancies is a sad but necessary thing, because, in this world, there will otherwise be illegal,dangerous, terminations which will kill both the woman and her baby. There are also places where there is still teenage marriage (very young teens, say 12, 13, 14) and they could die having a baby. There is rape of many kinds including marital rape. These are hard questions, but legal termination was not, basically, brought in so that people could just get rid of a baby because it;s inconvenient. People working in the area knew what was happening, they also possibly knew or possibly didn’t realise, the full extent of how legalisation could/would be exploited. The same is true of the contraceptive pill. It is so fraught with complications that being totally, utterly, pro-life is something I personally gave up, along with volunteering with a pro-life organisation doing pregnancy counselling. After much thought & prayer. It’s a secular world, one which doesn’t put God first, and somehow we have to live in it and with its limitations. That’s how I see it (personally). But idealists are also necessary to balance out the arguments for ‘anything goes’ I so agree. Love your passion on the blog, for what you believe! Hope you read this, Carolyn!

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    • thank you so much MariHoward ๐Ÿ™‚ you’re right, it is an incredibly difficult issue, and one that is very emotionally charged, for many of the reasons you listed. I respect everyone’s views and beliefs about it, and i sincerely appreciate hearing them, so thank you for sharing!! the world is definitely not idealistic, and there is a lot of “gray area” in terms of pregnancy and life and situations. In the mean time, we can use pray and ask God to show us the way ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs to you xo

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  112. Sending us all Light and blessings. Funny, I’m looking at attending a women’s day on leadership — what is true leadership for me in my own integrity? <3 There's a blessing in connecting to our own wisdom regarding what qualities and expressions line up for us. Thanks for bringing it forward, and so many blessings to you.

    Also, can you send blessings? I'm starting a "Making Peace with Yourself" program (online) for women to apply forgiveness to an area of their lives. Thank you so much. Love and blessings, xo Debbie

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    • Thanks so much Debbie. Oh wow, that sounds like a pretty awesome seminar you’re attending. And yes! i think you can definitely send blessings ๐Ÿ™‚ and I love that online program you’re starting. i think making peace with yourself is incredibly important! good luck with it!! big hugs xox

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  113. It’s difficult as a man to speak about feminism. You sum it up here perfectly. If I get in any sort of discussion about this topic, I may just simply point the other person to your post.

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    • Thanks so much for sharing this. yeah, it’s silly that men “aren’t allowed” to have a voice on the issue. Because, in my opinion, we’re all just journeying through life together, and it all comes down to respect. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for stopping by and for joining the dialogue! big hugs xox

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      • I agree about men not being allowed to have a voice. It’s especially frustrating because, though I don’t agree with every aspect of feminism, I still respect and support women. And yet, because I can’t refer to myself as a feminist per se, that support isn’t enough for many people.

      • Yeah, it’s sadly a no win situation ๐Ÿ™ But you’re winning in my book ๐Ÿ™‚ That respect and support goes a long way, and it is evident in how you interact and speak! so keep on being awesome. it goes a long way ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs xo

  114. Preach!! Ive had a similar convo with my friend on the ques of “What are women fighting for right now? The actual message really is lost for me.
    I believe women should be empowered to go places n do things they would hve felt inferior to do in the past, but i dont get the Feminist fight.. we shld all be ‘FAIRminists! ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  115. You just summed up all of my thoughts into 1 blog post. Thank you so much for posting about topics like this! As a young girl in today’s society, it often seems like there is no one else in the world who understands this point of view, or that it’s somehow “wrong.” I love how open you are about such a crucial and prevalent area of life. Sending love your way!!

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    • Thank you so much! I’m glad this hit home with you. You’re right, i often feel I’m the only one who feels this way, so i appreciate the encouragement! Aw, sending lot of love right back atcha! hugs xo

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  116. You are so brave to talk about this. I am pro-life too and one of the things I struggle with women’s rights being synonymous with abortion rights. People preach that they are for female but not that of an unborn female. I truly don’t understand the disconnect.

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    • Thanks Kerry. I’m right there with ya, it seems to be a huge disconnect. The baby girl in the womb is a woman too…??? Anywho, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. i really appreciate the encouragement. big hugs xox

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  117. I do not know if your thesis is meant to be provocative, but Women are the marginalized gender in American society. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the personโ€™s feelings. We may both stand at an intersection, witness a 2-car crash, but our different vantage points may cause us to focus on dissimilar details and arrive at opposing conclusions as to who is at fault. Likewise, our different experiences may also reveal latent prejudices that color our perspectives.

    I do not know what it is like to be a European American Christian Woman from the Midwest, but I can tell you as your African American Muslim (former Christian) Sister raised in New York City, and I do not expect you to understand some of my struggles, but what I do expect from you is to respect me when I say, โ€œIโ€™m in pain. The struggle is hard. The system favors some more than others.โ€ Because it does. Anything less than that empathy trivializes YOUR humanity. I am not delusional. Pain is pain and it is real.

    My African ancestors did not deserve to be dragged to these shores, exploited in every way a human being can be, pay every levied tax, and all the while have their humanity systematically and LEGALLY denied. Was it hard for our predecessors? Yes. Is it still hard for some of their descendants? Yes. Is the system fair? No, it is not. Take it from you Black American Sister, we (Women) are marginalized.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. It hurts my heart to hear that you feel marginalized, and to that, i say, *i hear you.* Because you’re right, we do all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences and perspectives that influence our beliefs and positions. I do not have the same ones as you. And so I can listen and learn. For me, having been sexually assaulted, coupled with the anorexia in my past has shaped what i believe. My hope in writing this was to create a dialogue where we all can voice our opinions so that we can learn and listen so that we can understand and respect one another. thank you again for sharing this. i really appreciate it. big hugs xox

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      • Sis, Youโ€™re welcome. But understand, I do not feel marginalized on the contrary. Society attempts to marginalize us and with some, they are successful and with others the fail miserably.

        Whatever challenges you have faced or are facing, understand Godโ€™s got you. He wonโ€™t let you fall. Sometimes we crash but He wonโ€™t put you into something that you canโ€™t get out of and God Willing, youโ€™ll be a better person because of the experience. The thing you have to realize is the pain and struggles are a normal part of life and are your badges of honor.

        You are a Warrior Queen and no one can wear battle scars like you. Take the world by horns and knock that toro bull down and thenโ€ฆKeep it moving. ๐Ÿ™‚

  118. THIS! Spot on… And I used to be very much feminist until I realized how counterproductive it really is. Men and women are equal but NOT the same. I don’t want to give up who I am to be ‘equal ‘ to a man.

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    • Thanks so much Britt!! I’m so glad this resonated with you! i agree, we are uniquely female! not less, not the same, we’re unique! ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

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  120. One of the things that I think we don’t do so well as a society is truly listening to others with differing opinions and experiences. As I read the responses to your post and your responses, it does sound like you are truly listening. So with that reading, and hope, I will add this thought to the discussion.

    I am not sure what theory you subscribe to in terms of the etiology of anorexia. Certainly the research agrees about the prevalence of control needs in its development. I cannot help but see it, however, as a visual of internalized sexism. What do we do to ourselves when we starve ourselves but destroy the visual reminders of our womanhood? Our breasts shrivel, our periods stop… we lose curves and look gaunt- anything but nurturing and mothering. Certainly there are other ways we could exert control if that were the only dynamic powering the self-destruction. The form of anorexia- a very dominantly woman’s experience – seems to me to be a living metaphor of how we have internalized the indoctrination that we are inferior.

    Certainly as women we all have differing experiences- based on race, class, geography, and family experience, among many other factors. One of the my deepest sorrows is the failure of women to support each other across those lines. One of my hopes is that we will learn to do so.

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    • Hi Aurora, thank you so much for this thoughtful response and for asking this delicate question. i’m going to be honest, i’ve never thought about that link before, and it is quite interesting to consider. For my personal situation, it was a symptom of not believing i was worth being loved. i felt i was a burden. Not enough. Being female didn’t enter the equation for me personally. but i do think that that could hold true for a lot of other women. because you’re right, it is a predominantly women’s disease, and the pressures placed by upon women to achieve an unattainable standard of perfection, dictated by society, definitely plays into it. so i think that definitely could ring true. thanks so much for stopping by and for starting this dialogue. big hugs xox

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  121. Beautifully written. I consider myself feminist, but not the feminism I see going on right now. Maybe there should be a spectrum of feminism, but I’m much like you in terms of what I see and what I think the real solutions would be.

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    • thank you so much for this thoughtful response! you’re right, there are definitely a lot of gray areas surrounding this issue. thanks for joining the dialogue! big hugs xox

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  123. You are a person of great insight and gifted with the ability to articulate them in very readable and empathetic prose. Thank you and I’m grateful to God that almost 24,000 people are getting this message with more to follow as you get re-posted. God bless you!

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    • oh my gosh what a kind thing to say. thank you!! i am grateful that people would take the time out of their day to read and respond. i am truly humbled and touched. thanks for stopping by! big hugs to you xox

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  124. Women and men complete each other in the symmetry of humanity…and marriage. Neither one is complete without the other. Neither can stand alone without the other. And today’s fight of feminism, abortion, et al, is not really a fight for equality or for moral virtue…but a cry for legitimacy, validity, and of a subtle defiance masked as legality. Well said, Caralyn. Well said.

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    • I absolutely love that. You’re right they’re a complimentary pair. Thanks for sharing this. I’m truly touched by your beautiful words and encouragement. Big hugs to you xox

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  125. Amen, sister! Exactly what Iโ€™ve been thinking lately! I have always considered myself a feminist โ€“ which makes the modern โ€œfeministโ€ movement very confusing. There is so much to celebrate about women and being a woman; so why are we fighting to be more like men?

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  126. As always your honesty is refreshing.

    I’ve asked myself and others the same question – why the anger? What are they angry about? Who are they angry at?

    And to be so open and honest about pro-life, abortion, and the rights of women, unborn children, etc is brave. You opened yourself up to trolls and anger, yet you calmly and bravely post your thoughts. But, you also spoke/wrote what so many are thinking/feeling but haven’t spoken.

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    • thank you so much. I can’t begin to express how much i appreciate the encouragement. yeah, i was definitely nervous to push the publish button, but i wanted to offer an alternative viewpoint and narrative than the one that is being pushed by the mainstream media, and hopefully start a dialogue. So i really am very grateful for the affirming and kind words. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read and respond! big hugs xox

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  128. Hey! I understand the general thrust of your argument, and I applaud you for discussing such an interesting topic.

    I think there are a number of conceptual errors contained within this article. I will detail just a few of them. First, this piece critiques “feminism” but it never attempts to define what feminism actually is. It is important to remember that feminism is not a monolith. There have been at least THREE waves of feminism; and there are several different schools of thought within the so-called feminist camp. There is intersectional feminism; radical feminism; socialist feminism; ecological feminism; post-structural feminism, etc. Which strain of feminism, and which particular feminists are you critiquing here? Unless you highlight the specific strain of feminism and specific feminists – the entire argument is a straw-man. The essay is guilty of shadow-boxing – responding to a caricature of feminism as opposed to its reality.

    Second, you argue that “women are not oppressed in the United States of America”. This is demonstrably false. At certain moments throughout this essay, the points you make betray your own argument. You pointed out that there is still wage inequality. Right. But this is the point you are missing: wage inequality IS an attack on women. Wage inequality IS oppression of women. Latinas are paid 54 cents for every dollar a white man earns. Black women earn 64 cents for every dollar a white man earns. Women of color are more likely to be impoverished. Earning less money means women of color are less able to feed, clothe, and shelter their families. This is an attack on women – and in particular, women of color. Native Americans are the most likely to be impoverished; and Native American women have rates of rape 4x the national average. So when you make the argument that “women are not oppressed” or “under attack”, your position departs from a baseline of whiteness and the privileges therein. I encourage you to read some of the articles I have written and posted under the “Sexism” tab on my blog.

    Third, you take a strong position against protesting in this article. This argument only makes sense if we completely ignore history and how we got the rights we currently have. 150 years ago, workers had no rights at all. People were trapped in factories all day, working 16+ hours, for dirt wages. Children could be put to work in these dangerous conditions. How did workers gain occupational rights such as an 8-hour work day, health benefits, pension, and a minimum wage?? They protested. Workers went on strike, unionized, and caused hell to gain the rights we have. If it were not for the labor unions, we would still be working long days in hazardous conditions for almost no money. Every single right we hold near and dear came as the result of a social movement. If the suffragettes – the first wave feminists – did not PROTEST, you, as a woman, would not have gotten the 19th Amendment which gave you the right to vote. If second wave feminists did not PROTEST throughout the 20th century, you, as a woman, would still be banished from work – and would be confined to the household as an object for a man. Without the protests during the Vietnam Era, men could still be drafted against their will into war, etc. I repeat: every single right you have came as the direct result of other people protesting. It is easy to condemn protesters as “rioting” and having no concrete agenda because a lot of the heavy lifting has already been done for you. Our ancestors protested for us to make the world a better place … and we owe it to our unborn children to protest for them to make the world a better place in turn. When we condemn protesters, we are essentially saying: “there is no need to fight” – which, if one is a rich white man (or internalizes these values) makes a lot of sense. But most of the world needs to FIGHT, especially women. I urge you to keep that in mind.

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    • Hi Daryl, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. the passion you have for this topic is evident in your words, and i really appreciate you sharing you insight. and so i want to say, i hear you. Thank you for offering this perspective to the dialogue. i am sincerely grateful for the conversation this has spurred. because you’re right, we’re all on different journeys, and are bringing different experiences and perspectives to the table. and i believe we all have a lot to learn from each other, and so thank you for sharing this. i think the conversation can lead to greater respect and understanding. thanks again, and i hope you have a great day. and i will definitely check out the articles you mentioned ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs xox

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  129. I’ve been skimming the comments so I apologize in advance if this has already been said.
    The more I think about it, the more I am troubled by the statements like: American woman have it better than most so what are you complaining about?
    So many issues with that… my first thought is that reminds of the house slave praising the amenities of the master’s house.
    But I would say BECAUSE of American positioning and propaganda (We’re number 1!) it’s even worse, on a huge scale, that women are treated as they are. It’s even worse that there’s huge inequality in a place that proclaims all men are created equal.
    It’s even worse that white women are treated better than women of colour.
    It’s even worse that 1/3 women experience sexual assault AND even worse that white upper class perpetrators of that violence often don’t face justice for their actions and can even get elected to high government office.
    It’s even worse that police often don’t give as much attention to crime against women.
    The black women I know face racism on a daily basis while most of the women I know have been sexually abused at one point in their life. Here in Canada, we have what’s called the Highway of Tears. It’s a stretch of highway where dozens upon dozens of women, mostly native, have gone missing and their disappearances were largely ignored by police.
    To me these issues, which I believe feminism speaks to, are more important than women’s “femininity.”

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  130. This is a breathtaking post..
    A balanced diet well served…
    I really admire you.. Your ability to speak the truth irrespective of its unpopularity is beautiful..
    Caralyn!! Thank you for this post and for defining what true feminism is all about…
    You are amazing…

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    • oh gosh, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind and affirming words. I was really nervous about publishing this, so i really appreciate the encouragement. hope you have a great day! hugs xo

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  131. Thank you for your post! I’m not in the US, and I can honestly say I’m clueless to the big buzz around “women’s freedom”. I’m Sudanese, living in Sudan, and I also happen to be an engineer. I’m not aware of any women in my circles who are being oppressed – unless it is their choice to be so. We get to enjoy all faces of life as men, so I’m really confused by all the buzz. Thank you for putting this in words!

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    • Thanks so much, Azza, for sharing this interesting insight! I’m so glad to hear that! i think you’re right, it’s hard to get an accurate depiction of what is going on around the world, so i really appreciate you sharing what life is like for you in Sudan! Sending big hugs from across the pond ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxo

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  132. I JUST LOVE EACH AND EVERY PART OF YOUR ARTICLE. great insights . i must say too much of everything is harmful, i was talking to a friend the other day and we both consider ourselves as Feminist but i was shocked when i asked her to explain to me what she meant by a sentence she had said. you are so brave and earned a lifetime reader

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    • Thank you so much! i’m so glad this hit home with you and you could relate. i really appreciate your encouraging words! i was super nervous to publish, so it really means a lot. big hugs to you xox

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  136. Excellent post! Food for thought, you either dress like a Ford/Chevrolet that advertises everywhere, or you dress like a Ferrari that you never see an advertisement for.

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    • Thanks so much Tim! Ooooh, I’ve never heard that saying about the car, but I really like it! a whole heck of a lot! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for stopping by and sharing that little tidbit! hugs x

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  138. I admire your blog, even though I think you know by now (since I think you read mine) that we do have some opposing political views. I participated in the Chicago Women’s March, which I wrote about, which I found empowering. Some of the others I have found confusing, without clear messages. My fight for feminism has far, far less to do with the sexual revolution than it does with opportunities for growth for women. I absolutely agree with your thoughts on how women are portrayed in the media; let’s have more positive role models, esp for our kids. That being said, research has continually shown that women ARE marginalized in this country–in the workplace we are still paid only 75% of men, we are very under represented on company boards, and we are only 27% of people who work in the lucrative STEM world where innovative products are being developed daily. And those influential tech products are used and seen by BOTH sexes on a regular base–let’s influence their creation! I know that not all women choose to work, but for those who do–or must to support their families–their income and these things impact them daily. I always appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

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    • Thank you so much Cindy. I definitely respect where you’re coming from and I appreciate you sharing this perspective. I agree that we need more role models – for both women and men. Fostering and growing a culture of respect and understand is so important going forward. And i think healthy, positive dialogues are great catalysts for just that. And so i think you for sharing your insight. Your passion shines through your words, and that is really admirable ๐Ÿ™‚ So glad you stopped by! big hugs xox

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      • I don’t think a woman will ever understand a man’s world, nor the man the woman’s world. This post tries to combine both men and woman into one topic, even stating both that “woman is the crowing creation,” and that “a woman can do all that a man can do, and more.” I find both of these false. There’s really no reason to discuss. I know your debate you will not carry out in comments section, but in some future post, perhaps even berating me. So I forbear, respectfully. I have faithfully studied your habits of write/response and find them not at all parallel to each other. To think I will get a valid response in comments section on your blog, for expressing my views here, is absolutely and completely erroneous. I will write my own thoughts on my blog as I know you also do. Thanks for the invite, though. I forbear. Besides, you can do all that a man can do, and even more, according to you. I challenge you to that affirmation. Be all that I am–and more. I dare you.

  140. The whole right-to-life thing just floors me. I can understand academically wanting every child who is conceived to be loved and wanted but that is an impossible dream. So then insisting on continuing with a physical process that could potentially result in two (if not more) blighted lives… just seems insane. Women have always had abortions and always will. The way to reduce the amount of abortion is make it safe and available. I just can’t understand how any person could not see this as the human option. As in, best for everyone. If you’re religious, you must believe the soul goes on to a better place or is reborn. If you’re not religious, then why do you think you have a say over someone else’s body

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    • I don’t think anyone is saying no abortion ever. I think there are times when the mother’s life is in jeopardy that a tough decision needs to be made. But when people are lax in their sexual lives and that results in an unwanted pregnancy, and so they choose to terminate that life so they don’t have to deal with the consequences of their actions…that’s when it becomes too much.

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      • I don’t know how or who would make a moral judgement call like that though. I mean, everyone does foolish things, that’s a huuuge price to pay for possibly one moment of carelessness. And then it obviously is going to impact the woman who is pregnant far more than the man. I was trying to think of a reasonable, non-gendered metaphor and I guess I’d say maybe like a tattoo – you might hate someone’s choice to get or not get one, hate what they’ve chosen and feel like they’ll regret it but do you honestly have the right to make that call for them? (Not a perfect metaphor obv).

      • One moment of foolishness or one mistake doesn’t mean that you can simply change your mind though. What if someone had unprotected sex and contracted an incurable STD/STI? There’s no walking away from that consequence, and a baby should be no different. When you choose to have unprotected sex, you are taking the risk that you are going to alter your life in unforeseeable ways. If you, as a male or female, don’t feel you are ready for a child, then you need to take precautions to avoid a pregnancy in the first place.

      • But a tattoo isn’t a living being. A tattoo only affects your body, no one else’s. Whenever we do anything that affects someone else, there’s usually some kind of consequence, good or bad. When we do something against ourselves, it’s just us (for the most part) we have to worry about. If I have too much to drink one night, I’m the one with the hangover, not my neighbor. But if I have too much to drink and then I drive while drunk, and end up taking someone’s life in the process, now it’s not just me affected anymore. Likewise, an abortion affects not only the woman’s body, but someone else–the baby growing inside her.
        The whole issue is a mess, to be sure, and the answer isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but neither should it be left unchecked. :/

    • Hi Claire, thank you for joining the dialogue and for sharing your perspective. I respect that we have differing beliefs on this, and i appreciate you taking the time to share it. I personally believe that life begins at conception, which then shapes how i feel about abortion. But i totally respect your differing views. It is a tough issue with a lot of gray areas. So thank you for stopping by and adding to the convo! ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs to you xox

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  142. So… One more thought. Again I apologize if this as already been said. When talking about abortion, I have noticed that pro/against debates go nowhere and usually just make people angry. On the other hand, if we start with questions, perhaps we can get to a dialogue and understanding.

    Are there conditions under which abortion is, albeit a sad choice, acceptable? Are there conditions under which abortion is, at the risk of denying free choice, unacceptable? To the latter, I believe that is actually in place because, unless the baby has died in womb or the mom is going to die, abortions are not allowed after a certain number of weeks.

    Let’s say a 13 year old is raped by her uncle or mom’s new boyfriend (sadly very common) and she becomes pregnant. We could also add into the equation that when mom finds out boyfriend did her daughter, she kicks the daughter into the street (also sadly common). Should she be forced to carry the baby to term and deliver it (and then what?)?

    In some areas, people test for the baby’s gender and any genetic issues. I understand that in some areas of the world, if they detect the baby has down syndrome the mother can opt for an abortion even if it’s very late in the term. How should we handle situations like that?

    If the state is to mandate against abortion, is the state going to assist a mother who is financially, physically or mentally unable to care for the child?

    In Canada, something that’s happening is birthing centres. Parents to be who are ill-equipped to be supporting a baby can go to the birthing centre where they can be assisted in the choices (birth, abort, birth then adopt) before them. The centre will educate them on the options as well as overall healthy sexuality. The centre won’t push for any choice but they are supportive and caring through whatever choice is made. This is a free service, I believe.

    Perhaps journeying through these questions help us to better appreciate each other and the complexity of these choices.

    Reply

  144. Not sure what a guy can write in response except that I think your voice on the matter is very important. I don’t understand why all the anger either. I love women (one in particular but many as dear friends). And it makes me wonder what I did wrong except be born with the wrong kind of plumbing.

    Ok, so I do know and have known several men who demean(ed) and even abuse(d) women – misogyny. But I know and have known a more or less equal proportion of women who demean(ed) and abuse(d) men – misandry. There are some crimes – like rape – that are overwhelmingly committed by men against women. But the overall climate of suspicion and anger is NOT in sync with the offense. Really.

    I was reading a post by my grown daughter recently ranking out some conservative woman who opposed the pink-pudendum-hat march on Washington recently. As I asked questions it became clear that NO ONE knew who this woman was or if she was even real. It was enough that she was the opposition and therefore, worthy of hatred and vitriol. I told my daughter that little kids invent imaginary friends, and how adult is it to invent imaginary enemies. Truth doesn’t matter. Nor do people.

    I would apologize for all the sins of all men everywhere if it would even make a difference. It would not.

    And I don’t know what I’d be apologizing for that I did, really. My favorite bosses (yes bosses) have all been women. The CEO of my ginormous company is a woman. Some of my most productive and brilliant colleagues have been women too. I’ve worked with them and been friends for decades.

    Now of course a lot of the current rancor has to do with our current POTUS. His locker room comments of 13 years ago caught on tape were those of an 18-year-old walking sperm cell (my reference to myself and all boys when at that age – clueless and hormonally insane but it usually goes away). Yet he was in his 50s. His Twitter practice makes the opposition crazy too.

    But those of the left are inventing imaginary enemies. Really, I don’t know who they’re talking about. Maybe we need a human sacrifice to satisfy them. Oh, that’s right, we already did.

    -John

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection, John. I would love to read your daughter’s article! It sounds fascinating! There’s so much great food for thought here. You know, you’re so right. I was talking with my dad about this too, and he had the same experience. He ran a global company, and all of his colleagues were women too! He doesn’t see the gap or oppression that is the cause of the anger. Sure there is some room for improvement in a lot of areas, but I just don’t see the crisis or oppression. But I am definitely open to hearing the other side. Learn from the experiences of others. So thank you for this great perspective! I really appreciate you joining the conversation. I am coming away with a new understanding and insight:) Hugs and love xox

      Reply

      • So it wasn’t a post my daughter wrote but more of a form letter in response to a woman who nobody knew or could prove existed. It was tribe against tribe, mindless following without critical thinking. And it made me sad.

    • aw, Abby, thank you so much! I’m so glad that this hit home with you! yeah, i was nervous to post this, so i really appreciate the encouragement. hope you have a great night xox

      Reply

  149. This is a brave and articulate post! You are clearly well informed on this issue, and once again, I’m impressed by your wisdom and your ability to communicate your perspective so clearly! I think I share all the thoughts that you expressed, but I could never put it all together in this way. All these women’s marches have been bothering me too, especially because feminism and women’s rights in this country (which once meant things like universal suffrage and equal pay) have been hijacked by abortionists. Where does that leave those of us who believe in promoting the dignity of women AND all human life? We aren’t welcomed among the feminist marchers. Until I read your post, I couldn’t even clearly verbalized what it was that bothered me so much about this problem. Your writing is so helpful. Thank you!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Lulu! Gosh, what an affirming response. i really really appreciate it. You’re right, pro-life women are not welcome at the marches…it’s really sad. That’s what my friend and i were talking about! we’re women, and yet we don’t feel welcome – nay, feeling hostility – from other women. A head scratcher for sure. thanks for taking the time to read – i know it was a bit of a longer article. hope you have a great weekend! big big hugs xox

      Reply

  150. I enjoyed this piece; living in Africa for 30+ years has given me a greater appreciation for all that women have available to them in the West. Most women here can only dream of giving birth in a clean hospital. Most women here can only dream of going to school – not to mention university. I could go on, but I digress. Thank you!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for sharing this perspective, Lea. Wow, yeah, that really makes my heart break for the conditions in other parts of the world. You’re right, women in the West have so much to be grateful for. It’s kinda like, you see what you look for…and seeing with eyes of gratitude makes you “see” a lot more. sending all my love ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs xox

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  151. I totally understand where you are coming from and I agree. I have been to countries where women are not allowed the same rights as men, and if found in those countries “exercising” their sexual rights, they would be shamed and physically harmed. I honestly don’t understand the recent “hype”in the United States, but it is creating interesting dialogue. Thanks for writing this!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Jeanette ๐Ÿ™‚ So glad you can relate. You’re right, we have a lot to be grateful for here. the conditions elsewhere truly break my heart. big hugs to you xox

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  153. Listen, I totally understand what you’re saying, yet I still disagree. According to today’s population, women are not as “important” as men are. We get payed less at work, we’re “low-class” (even more so if you’re a black women, which is also wrong), and we just aren’t treated the same as men. And now that Trump is president, we get even less rights. I’m not saying your opinion is wrong, I’m just stating my own.

    Reply

    • Thank you Mary, for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate you joining the conversation. I definitely respect your opinion. That’s one of the reasons I wrote this, was because I sincerely appreciate hearing where other people are coming from, and their perspectives and experiences. There is definitely room for improvement in our society, that’s for sure. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

      Reply

      • Hi to both! I’m agreeing with Marie Louise on this issue. Don’t get me wrong, I get where you’re coming from. I have also had my doubts about the whole women’s march movement. And you’re right, in a lot of societies, women have already accomplished so much! But the fact that women don’t get equal pay for equal work just doesn’t make sense to me. And, like you said, the fact the we’re called ‘bitches and hoes’ in songs doesn’t help. You’re asking for a change in our culture and I strongly believe cultures can only be changed when people talk about what’s wrong in their culture. You’re opening a dialogue by posting this blog, for which I salute you. You say you doubt how women’s marches can change culture. The fact that because of these marches you’re actively thinking about feminism (and probably also discussing feminism with friends) shows that these marches have at least opened an interesting dialogue ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Thanks Charlotte! I really appreciate you joining the dialogue! You’re right- the March has definitely started conversations and has brought the cause to the forefront! And Yes! We’ve gotta work on improving those song lyrics ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for stoppingby! Hugs and love xox

    • A couple of points regarding the comment by Mary Louise:

      1. Basic economics dictates that businesses aim to reduce overhead, so if one qualified employee is less expensive to hire than another with the same skill set, a business will hire the less costly employee, and it has nothing to do with gender. If it did, companies would avoid hiring men, and that’s not the case.

      2. On average, female CEOs of major corporations are paid more than their male counterparts.

      3. To treat a woman like a man (or a man like a woman) would be both absurd and insulting. Men and women may be treated as equals, but they are not the same.

      4. No U.S. Citizen has lost rights due to Donald Trump’s inauguration.

      Not sure where Ms. Mary Louise gets her information, but it appears she’s been misled, and that’s a shame given her young age.

      Carry on.

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  154. Very well written! I really enjoyed reading this piece. I am saddened that women want so desperately to be considered on the same pedestal as men when we have so many beautiful, unique, and important qualities to offer society through our femininity. However, I think this is a problem with society as a whole, men and women. In the long run, this whole movement is going to come back and bite women in the butt. Women cry for equal pay, equal opportunity, equal treatment, but then want special consideration and understanding for things like maternity leave. I’ve even read articles where women cry out for special treatment and consideration in the work place for PMS issues. I have friends that fight and toil to move up the corporate ladder only to complain that they don’t have enough time with their children when they decide to start a family. The reality is that we are not equal, we are created differently, and we can not have everything; we can not enjoy the best of both worlds.

    Reply

    • What an awesome perspective. Thank you so much for sharing it. I think you’re right- we all have uniquely specific and incredible traits that make us who we are. I think it all boils down to respect ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks again for joining the dialogue. Lots of great food for thought. Hugs and love xox

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  156. Why do you constantly preach to my soul girl?! I thought I was a horrible person for not supporting that women’s march. Like you, I was uber confused about what we were fighting for and what was in jeopardy. Honestly, all this woman stuff had become a huge eye roll for me. I think people need to feel like they are making a difference, so they are just grasping on to anything that makes them feel rebellious. Our culture has a horrible history and habit of trying to resolve issues by addressing surface level problems. We, as a country need to dig a lot deeper to figure out how we arrived at the spot we are in. We are in a culture of having our cake and eating it too. We want it all and for it to be justifiable. One of my biggest issues with many of today’s feminists is the idea that in order to prove ourselves equal to men, we must become them. Dismissing everything that makes us women as weaknesses. It’s, as you said, anti-feminist. One day we want to be praised for the ability to carry a child, the next, we are demanding the same respect for ending that life. It’s all so convoluted and I think it’s time that we pause and reflect. I could go on and on, but thank you for this post. At least, I know I’m not alone in my sentiments! As always, thanks for this post!

    Reply

    • Hahaha oh Celestial:) thank you so much! I’m so glad this struck a chord with you! Yeah from the portrayal of the events in the media, you’d think we were the only women not in attendance! Haha but you’re right, lots of contractions and confusion if you as me:) thanks for stopping by! Big big hugs xox

      Reply

  157. This is an outstanding but a minority post. Your questions and perspective are extremely perceptive and balanced, but in the same way as many of my own posts on the subject likely to be howled down. I really really do NOT understand feminism today but maybe that’s because I am male, white, English and 70 years old. But …. my wife is female (!) Asian, also 70, and she doesn’t understand it either. Here’s a fantasy scenario: Women (feminists?) take to the streets to protest about rape globally, female subjugation in Islam, girl trafficking in India, etc etc. Guess what? The whole world supports you. But ….. a march against Trump, against Brexit, ….. don’t make me laugh! You demean the whole of humanity when you pretend to speak for all women too.

    Reply

  159. It’s a silly thing to say I suppose, you have had such fantastic comments, but in an abortion situation, there are THREE people involved to my mind. The mother, the baby and the father – the father is the one who often is not consulted. In sleeping with a man, the woman needs to realise she is accepting his genetic material if there is a pregnancy. Even if it’s all accidental, and she doesn’t want the baby, morally, you can’t just brush the father off. She WAS part of the contract in the act of sex. To my mind – sex now, is simply copulation, as unimportant as blowing your nose or having a cup of tea. THAT’s the problem. But the hormones we release during sex, the possibility of creating a child, the seriousness of exposing yourself so intimately in an action with another human in a “conversation” is more profound than words. Sex is just sex, now, and like a cup of tea, if you don’t like the dregs left in the cup, just chuck them out! Or get rid of the snotty tissue!

    I really liked your post – thank you for having the courage to write it!

    Reply

    • Wow, I am just nodding my head right along with you! Yeah, I think you’re right – sex is just so not-a-big-deal now adays. Especially with online dating. And especccccccially in NYC. I mean, it’s crazy, you meet a guy at a bar, and after talking for 30 minutes they’re trying to get you to go home with them. It’s crazy. I agree, sex means something. Especially for women, there is an emotional aspect to it. your metaphor with the tea was really powerful. any who. thanks so much for this awesome comment. big hugs xox

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      • I was going to make the comment, that if you truly look at it (regarding abortion) women actually have more “rights” than men. If a woman chooses to have an abortion- that is considered her right… if a man decides he doesn’t want to be a father, then he is a “dead beat” and is forced to pay child support. Why do women get to choose whether they want a child or not, but men have no say? So.. how do women have less rights than men? I agree with you and I also do not understand these women’s rights marches and protests. I agree that its our culture that needs to change. The heart of America is not where it should be. No one wants to be held accountable for their actions anymore. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions and consequences. But, I always have to remember, that God is always in control even when I don’t understand. His ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts. Thank you for this post, I think you have said what some people are feeling/thinking but are afraid to say!

      • Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection. THere is a lot of great food for thought here. You’re so right: God *is* in control, and I have to trust that. Our country has a long way to go in a lot of different areas – respect for one another and spreading love being one in particular. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart. big hugs x

    • I learned a lot about the feminist movement in the 1970s.

      I learned that to say, “Yes, Ma’am,” was a slur.

      I learned that I would be cussed out if I offered a woman my seat on the bus.

      I learned that I would be called a “Chauvinist Pig” if I held a door open for a woman to enter a building ahead of myself.

      I learned that I would be spat upon if I held my umbrella over a woman’s head during a rain.

      I learned that if I was physically attacked by a woman and didn’t fight back, I was a pussy.

      I also learned that the feminist movement has nothing to do with feminism and equality.

      Reply

    • I’m sorry you feel that way. But thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my words. I sincerely send you hugs and hope you stop by again soon ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

  161. Women need to be treated with respect! Women are a gift to this world not to be wasted, abused, enslaved, mistreated, or mishandled in any way! Men and boys need to know that women are to be treated as humans and not cast off property or things! You are a gift among all women and a delight to this world in all ways!! Love and hugs!!

    Reply

    • Amen to that! It all comes down to respect. Men to women and women to men. I love that – you’re right – not mishandled in any way. Amen! Hope you’re having a great night. Thanks for reading my stuff this evening!

      Reply

  162. Feminism today has become another “ism” and has become another din echoing the malaise of our world. Today’s feminism mixes a cauldron full of different voices often in opposition to the grass roots ideals of woman’s rights. Feminism today reflects the confusion created by gender, body, ethnic and self politics- the mix creates many voices as oppose to one. Often these voices are in conflict and reflects the fractures from a diverse world where causes become incidental to lived experience. On the one hand, there is a strong voice against rape and the brutality of women echoing the voice of real victims, to ethnic and religious politics, lead by a medley of female leaders one whose support of Sharia law is in opposition to the very premise of the suppression and subjugation of women that takes place around our globe. Contradiction!!

    There is also hate and race politics thrown into the mix, and this has stirred the most rancid voice in feminism.

    All together they create a shroud of white noise around feminism so that it’s become a free for all kind of definition without grounding.

    12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

    1 Corinthians 13:12 | NIV

    Reply

    • that’s a powerful verse, thank you for sharing. and i really appreciate you joining the conversation on this one! You’re right, there are so many different issues in the mix, that it really has become white noise. that’s a great way to put it. complex issues all the way around. thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

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  163. WOW! The tears of hope and wonder are copiously flowing from my lachrymal. The description of a true woman you have exposed in this post is exactly as the Creator meant it to be. None of us can achieve such status without suffering. Much to be said on the matter. It all boils down to the Father/Creator of our beings. In time, we must all arrive at King Solomonโ€™s conclusion.

    Perhaps a reminder to my own self on what to do? No need to wonder. No need in trying to figure out what comes next. No need to study and rack my brains to learn what I donโ€™t need to learn. It is written,

    Ecclesiastes 12:11-14
    The words of the wise are like prodding goads, and firmly fixed [in the mind] like nails are the collected sayings which are given [as proceeding] from one Shepherd. But about going further [than the words given by one Shepherd], my son, be warned. Of making many books there is no end [so do not believe everything you read], and much study is a weariness of the flesh. All has been heard; the end of the matter is:
    1. Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].
    2. Keep His commandments
    โ€ข For this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation
    โ€ข The object of God’s providence.
    โ€ข The root of character
    โ€ข The foundation of all happiness
    โ€ข The adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun and the whole duty for every man
    For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it is good or evil.

    O my sister, what a blessing you are. I sincerely hope to establish a relationship with you. I know in my heart this is our Father’s time to join us all one by one. Hope you sense the same thing. Much love, thiaBasilia. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • Gosh, I am so touched by this beautiful reflection. thank you so much, thiaBasilia. That is so so true: the end matter: to fear God and keep His commandments. amen to that! i think if we all were to wake up every day and remember that, the world would be a better place ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs to you xox

      Reply

  165. Excellent post! It’s interesting that the rad-fems tend too ignore the plight of women elsewhere in paces where they are truly marginalized — like the Middle East, for example. Very well done!

    Reply

  167. Some interesting thoughts! I agree that the feminist movements going on now seem to have gone a little wacky. I’ve been shut down from questioning things because I am a white male. That’s not a very equality-minded thing to do. I have also looked into the “Gender Pay Gap” and have found it to be quite the misleading statistic.

    On the topic of abortion, I am in favour of a harm-reduction approach. There are cases where abortion should be considered, and there are cases where abortion should not be considered. There is also a large gray area where many factors are involved. It’s a very complex issue, and it disappoints me that it is often simplified into “pro-life” and “pro-choice”.

    Reply

    • thanks Jason! yeah, i think it’s unfortunate that men “aren’t allowed” to join the conversation. You’re right, definitely not equal minded. complex issues to be sure! thanks for stoping by! hugs ox

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  168. Much love to you for spreading truth.

    If feminism truly had women’s best interest at heart it would celebrate motherhood. A God-like power that only wom(b)en have. Instead they champion abortion.

    when women stay married, they are healthier, live longer, and wealthier. Instead, feminism champions single moms and pushes policy that encourages and celebrates divorce.

    Such cognitive dissonance is there in all of these types of causes that aim to profit from people’s grievances. Feminism divides the sexes, destroys the family and is only a boon to the political classes that conquer through division. Feminism has turned into a cancer. Avoid it like the plague.

    keep spreading truth!

    Reply

      • I do. But more importantly, I know what it has become. I can use statistical disparities to prove men are suffering greatly but yet feminists care not about suicide rates, imprisonment, college entries, disposability through wars. No they don’t, because see, feminism is now not about equality but about female augmentation, no matter the cost, and no matter the expense to others.

      • I still say that you do not understand, because I am a feminist, yet do not advocate the things that you say feminists advocate. And I’m not alone in this, either.

      • call yourself a humanist or egalitarian instead. Or human rights activist. last I checked women were human too.

      • furthermore, I believe feminism as it stands is ultimately harmful to women. as it takes all the attributes we criticize in men and applaud women that do these also (aggressiveness, lack of empathy, lack of being a mother, lack of community, pushes them toward a corporate mindset) it has indeed become a cancer to society.

      • Kamal, you are the one who is misunderstanding the term. Why should I have to use a different term, that has some differences in meaning, just because YOU have a more narrow definition of feminism then I and most other feminists do? How about learning more about the history and different perspectives within, and types of, feminism, like I did, before asking others to use a different term because you don’t understand the full meaning of feminism?

  169. I understand where you are coming from, though. I was hesitant for a long time to call myself feminist, because of the radical feminists. What turned me was listening to a professor who went through a similar struggle. As a black woman, she wanted, and still wants, to see the men of black families be empowered so that they can better provide for their families, and she thought that being feminist meant that she wanted to push men down. She came to realize that this wasn’t what feminism was about. It is about empowering everyone, men and women, or other genders, to live to their full potential. Sure, there are plenty of more radical feminist positions, but they are only a small part of feminism. There isn’t one feminism – that’s part of the idea of feminism, is that there should be a plurality of ideas and viewpoints.

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  170. Well put! This I know for sure: Being born female, joy comes with being feminine. At least that’s true for me. My heart goes out to females who want to be masculine. But, you’re right … a lot of the debate is caught up in semantics. What does “being feminine” mean? It isn’t “weak and submissive” in my mind. I admire strong, capable, determined, successful, compassionate, sensitive and bold women. When i applied for my third or fourth teaching job back in the 60s, the superintendent asked, “Why do you want to work? You have a husband. Stay home and start your family and help uour spouse.” We’ve come a long ways in 60 years. That kind of comment is illegal and unconscionable today. I answered, “Why choose when i can do both?” And i did. The Feminist Movement pushed the glass ceiling. Many of us knocked hard on it. But, we still don’t have equal pay for equal work in all areas. People like Donald Trump can say and do to women the dispicable things he did and still get elected. There’s more work to be done. The bottom line is love and respect for all people. Why can’t we just love ourselves as God made us and respect one another?

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection, Jan. I think you’re right — it all comes down to respect. yes, there is still work to be done, but we also have a lot to be thankful for. thanks for stopping by and joining the dialogue! big hugs xo

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  174. HI BBB,

    Yes, yep, uh-huh. Man and women are meant to live in harmony, in a perfect world. That is what Christ did for us and put things back on track. You are right sometimes people are fighting just to fight. If you ask me, we know there is a spiritual battle here. Have you noticed that all the issues that have been better have all been flaring up (racial issues, sexual equality, etc.) in these times? Someone is trying to weaken the US so art can be easily taken over. We know what the Bible says about the end times, however, as Christians we keep alive what represents our eternal hope at all times.

    Thank you, Gary

    On Mon, Mar 20, 2017 at 3:59 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Lately, itโ€™s been really weird to be a woman. > Not because of any fashion or makeup trendsโ€ฆalthough, I will sayโ€ฆI donโ€™t > quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad. But because of all > the recent hyper focus onโ€ฆfeminism. The Womenโ€™s March, Int” >

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Gary! Yes! harmony! I totally agree. I bet if we focused on Christ and His #1 commandment to love one another — things might work themselves out. thanks for the powerful perspective. hugs oxox

      Reply

  177. I enjoy most of your writing quite a bit. But I do disagree with certain points in the post.
    If it’s challenging feminism in America, maybe your right, Im not an expert on gauging this since I’m not from there.

    But speaking from India, I think you should look at how feminism has impacted or motivated women across the world, women who are marginalised and look at America sometimes as an ideal.

    When you talk about the invention of the pill. It has liberated so many women here, there is so much stigma attached to premarital sex in India and societal pressure to have as many children as possible. Contraception has really changed people’s perspectives even if it’s a slow process.

    And the attitude towards clothes asking for trouble. I think most western women don’t face the fear other countries do in walking on the street in a pair of shorts. When I was in school, a teacher told a group of us that we should try to buy bulky clothes, the looser the better in order to hide our figures and not attract attention. Keep in mind that India is one of the hottest places in the world and yet about 93% of the female population do not feel comfortable about walking outside in shorts or shirts without sleeves. Moreover 87% of sexual assaults occured to women who were ‘fully covered’. It’s no longer about what we wear, or if it’s asking for trouble. Sexual violence does not stem from attraction or lust, it has its basis mostly in dominance or control.

    The thing is, as ludicrous as feminism may seem to you when women already have so many opportunities. You have to keep in mind that it’s actually a rarity not a norm.

    And coming from a country where all we’re taught to do is massage male egos and uphold the ‘masculinity’ of men, the post was a little hard to swallow.

    I hope you don’t take offence to the things i said, I just wanted to bring in a different viewpoint.

    The west has been influential in women’s rights. It’s a okay to challenge feminism, but not if it doesn’t take into account the positive impact on other places in the world.

    I hope you read up on a few articles on feminism from women across the world, although i did find your perspective interesting ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective and for joining the dialogue. I truly appreciate hearing and learning from your experience. Gosh, that sounds really tough, and it makes me very grateful for the way things are here in the United States. It sounds like there is such a beautiful inner strength glowing inside of you. it is really inspiring. I will definitely do a little more digging and broaden my horizon, because you’re right – lots to be thankful for. Big hugs to you xo

      Reply

  180. Hey,
    I love this post and how you expressed your views.. I agree with almost every thing/
    But I don’t think wearing a black little dress is equivalent to disrespecting ourselves or our body.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much for joining the dialogue! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Yeah, I don’t think it’s disrespecting our bodies, you should see my closet — LBD’s for days! haha I guess I didn’t really explain that well — I guess, what I mean is that, if we feel that we have to dress “cheaply” — like Christina Aguilera in her “Dirty” video, or like a hooker in order to have worth. Does that make sense? Maybe I’m just digging the hole deeper. i don’t know. but yeah, bottom line, is that a LBD doesn’t mean you’re disrespecting yourself…thanks for letting me clear that up (or at least try to and fail miserably! haha) big hugs to you xox

      Reply

      • Okay, okay.. I did not grasp the concept fully. Thank you for clearing it up. I got it now.. I completely agree with your point now.
        Sory for misuderstanding *sheepish grin*
        Hugs and love.
        xoxo.

      • No worries! Yeah I think I probably should have clarified it a bit more in the article ๐Ÿ™‚ hehe no sheepiah grins needed ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž so glad you stopped by! Massive hugs!

  181. Preach! It’s been bugging me too just how “feminism” has become an excuse to be hateful and domineering. It goes against who we are as women. Thank you for putting in words what’s been in my mind.

    Reply

  182. Might it be possible that the March for women was a response of solidarity in the face of a presidency where grabbing women by the pussy is somehow acceptable? Abortion rights aren’t the main point here. Respect and dignity are. The double standard that still exists in behavior and in salaries, just to name the top two, are reasons enough to worry about women’s status in the US.

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  183. Hi! I really enjoyed your piece on feminism. Challenging the contemporary feminist movement is super important considering how polarising the topic can be (and how aggressive people can get!). But when I read your piece, there are some real contradictions in what you are saying. For one thing, you talk about how “women are not marginalized in the United States” and then you go on to talk about feminist issues like the high prevalence of sexual assault against women, objectification in the media, a lack of female empowerment in advertising, etc. The movement you are criticizing is attempting to bring recognition to these “lingering issues” that are discriminatory and marginalizing for women. While marching and protesting does not solve the problem itself, it is attempting to bring recognition to issues so that people make an effort to change culture. For another thing, there is a contradiction in how you describe what is inherently female. You seem to rely on traditional female roles as what is not only normal but also biologically inherent, and you seem to say that it is unnatural for women to challenge that traditional gender role. But you also say that “Feminism is the revolution of femininity โ€“ in all its forms” which suggests that femininity is multi-faceted and complex and contains a lot of diversity. You also say that women’s main role is child-bearing, but that doesn’t quite add up with lived experience – what about women you are attracted to other women? What about infertile women or women who don’t want children? what about women who are transitioning from a masculine body or women who have both testicles and ovaries? I guess what I am saying is that women around the world will define their femininity in so many different ways and may resist having their gender defined solely by their uterus (or lack thereof). If being a woman has many forms, then are we really able to say that women are essentially mothers and nothing more, while also saying that we are capable of everything a man is? Are men naturally the leaders in relationships (and then doesn’t that give them more power and an unequal status to women?) I have really rambled on here, but my main question to you is: what is a woman and how do we define what is feminine? Looking forward to hearing from you ๐Ÿ™‚

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  184. What a thought-provoking post. Thank you for your courage to speak your mind & convictions. So often we’re afraid to be ‘labelled’ & sidelined to one side or the other. Feminism & women’s rights are not about ‘sides,’ but about women as human beings (& doings.) I agree with many of your commenters who are from places where women don’t have equal rights (or very little rights at all.) Having worked with women’s projects in the Middle East, Africa & parts of Asia, I have seen what it’s like for women with limited recourse to survive — & thrive — with the support of their communities advocating change. That most often takes women and MEN, especially men who control the power, to raise the status of women. As an American, I realize we have many, many challenges that require attention and action for women (you mentioned exploitation, violence like rape, there’s human trafficking, equal educational opportunities for marginalized girls et all) but we have so many advantages thanks to women (& the men who supported them) who fought and forged the path for our rights. It’s so interesting that many of the early suffragettes were also anti-abortion, because life is a gift. All life!

    Blessings to you!!!

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    • Thank you so much Virginia, for offering this great perspective and for joining the conversation. Yeah, there are a lot of places around the world where women can’t enjoy the freedoms that we have here in the states. We have so much to be grateful for. There’s obviously room for improvement, but we have so many advantages and blessings that you mentioned. thanks for sharing this! big hugs x

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  185. Hi there, I popped by from my witching blog, stumbled across this and throught I would try to add my two cents. (Disclaimer: I am a passionate, caffeine-fueled feminist. Short hair, cats and all.)

    “Is it because we have access to health care?”
    – There is plenty of research suggesting that women’s pain is taken less seriously than men’s, that they receive less prescription drugs and less sick days for the same conditions. So, access to health care – yes; adequate medical treatment – dubious.

    “Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?”
    – I think it is slightly weird that, although the majority of college students is female, the majority of jobs for which a college degree is a prerequisite still goes to men, even with enough female candidates in the field (talking of management etc.).

    “Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including the President of the United States?”
    – Yeah, we’ve seen how that worked out. A majority of US Americans choose an orange baboon over a female. (Fun fact: One party in Germany, before Ms. Merkel was elected, opted to have a female President (“Bundesprรคsident”, a slightly more symbolic function than POTUS) because they thought it would increase their chances of winning the chancellor position … surely no one would want a female president AND a femalce chancellor at the same time? (Having two males occupy that position has not been a problem so far.)

    “Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?”
    – Once again, research suggests that a woman’s opinion, for example, will be taken less seriously by general public (even by other women, which I find weird). We are encouraged to sugarcoat our opinions, make our (public or professioanl) statements “less threatening”, only go out in groups, are the butt of so many driving jokes (even although statistics show that women are involved in far less traffic accidents than men). Education and religious freedom are basic human rights – I don’t even know why they have to be mentioned as things women had to “gain”, and try adopting a child when you are not a married woman (even raising children is more difficult for women, because they are expected to pause or abandon their careers, take the majority of child-related appointments and even in relationships considered “equal” bear more than 60 % of the home-related tasks).

    “But I honestly donโ€™t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture.”
    – Yes, and this is what many feminist efforts are about: Raising awareness, changing the public perception and educating men and women on the underlying issues.

    “But if weโ€™re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, itโ€™s asking for trouble. Of course men should be able to control themselves. โ€œAsking for itโ€ is never, ever, ever an excuse. But if weโ€™re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?”
    – I can respect my body in sweatpants, in office clothes, and completely naked. Somehow your idea seams to be tied up with the fact that nudity is somehow disrespecting or something to be ashamed of. A colleague (at an Arab-dominated office, to be honest) regularly gets in trouble for showing her ARMS. Not because women should not show her arms, but because her arms are considered to be sexy (because of her skin color or something). She was told to cover up, and when she complained about harassment she was told to take it as a compliment.
    Simultaneously, so many men complain if women do not dress in a revealing way, and simultaneously cat-call (or worse) women in short skirts.
    Why not let everyone dress the way they want, without teaching them that beauty is their main value, and letting everybody enjoy themselves?
    I’ll go out tonight with my friends for drinks, I’ll walk home alone, wearing a short dress, and I fully expect to be left alone. And since I know from experience that this will not necessarily be the case, I am prepared to raise hell.

    “The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children.”
    – What about women who are physically unable to bear children? Or those after menopause? Do they get a “guy badge” and permission to grow a beard? Or what about women, like me, who choose not to have children because they have other plans in life? The ability to become pregnant is just one of many physical facts where we differ from men. Also we do have different skull shapes, less body hair and less phyical strength as guys. I do not see anyone marching in favor of (or against) women becoming professional bodybuilders.

    “And, in the name of feminism, weโ€™re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift? That, in my opinion, is the exact opposite of feminism.”
    – You’ve probably guessed it, I am pro-choice. I love children (even if I do not plan to have any), and if I happened to become pregnant, I would probably still keep the baby. But I want every woman to have this choice – to decide for herself whether she is strong enough, resilient enough, financially stable enough to take care of a child, with or without a partner. People who want to reduce abortion numbers (which are pretty rediculously low in most industrialized countries) might want to improve the situation of pregnant women and mothers: Improve healthcare, improve daycare availability, make good schools cheaper, improve maternity leave, support the rights of mothers to have a family AND a career, … – instead of making it illegal (and hence more dangerous) to have an abortion. And think of those women who want a baby, but have to have an abortion for medical reasons. They are going through incredibly tough times and in addition to that have to face accusations instead of getting much-needed support.

    “Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the motherโ€™s and the babyโ€™s. Her decision is not just hers, but her childโ€™s. How is ending another human life controlling her own body? That sounds to me like controlling someone elseโ€™s body.”
    – Here you have a point, kind of. Of course both lives are involved. But while you say a mother should not have the power to end her unborn child’s life, I say it should not be possible to force a woman to have a child against her will – one that she will possibly resent, or give up for adoption (and the gods know where the child will end up), or maybe even kill after it is born. These things happen.

    “I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we are by nature.”
    – I politely disagree. I am neither soft nor delicate – okay, my middle is a bit squishy, but apart from that I was raised to be strong and independent and, if you ask my partner, slightly terrifying. Forcing women into a stereotype mould will not make the world a better place. Encouraging everyone to be the best, most empathic version of themselves might.

    “I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise to his highest form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a manโ€™s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.”
    – To me, men can be men till the cows come home. As long as they don’t interfere with my freedom and don’t get in my way, that is. And I want all the adventures I can get, even without a penis.

    “Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.”
    – There is no scientific evidence to suggest that life could ever be this easy. Fortunately humans are much more diverse, complex and wonderful than this black-and-white approach.

    “A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more. We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?”
    – In my experience, feminists don’t aspire to be like men, or the same as men. The feminists I know (and I know there are a few black sheep that ruinthe fun for the rest of us) are fighting for truly equal rights (including those areas where men are at a disadvantage, like child custody after a divorce) and perfect personal freedom in a humanist society. We are fighting for a society where men and women can work as equals, bringing their unique personalities to the table, to solve problems that are greter than petty sexist quarrels. We are fighting for a world where it is not socially acceptable to deny people opportunities or rights based on their gender or appearance.

    As you see, there are many different viewpoints to this issue. And personally, for many years I thought like you, because all I saw were the black sheep feminists like Alice Schwarzer (a terrible person, if you ask me, and definitely not a role model). Of course this was partly because my parents raised me and my sisters to think we could be and do everything we wanted, including changing car tires, butcher cows or ride motorbikes – all while wearing pretty dresses. My father worked full-time, as did my mother, and they both shared household tasks as equally as possible. Until I started my first job as a janitor assistant at a student dormitory, I did not even think my talents might be doubted based on my gender – and then my competence in working with Arab students was challenged because “you are a girl”. If educated, middle-class old white men think like that, how are we supposed to sit back and accept this? (I did the job in question, without support, and I rocked.)

    Uhm, enough rambling. I need to get back to my day-to-day feminist rants. ^^

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  186. Ditto on Rebekah’s wow.
    Thank you for writing such a neat post. I truly appreciate it as a woman, and I hope that more people do as well. Thank you! You make me feel proud to be a woman. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  187. Well said. I think that we should be moving towards “respect for the person”. This includes men and babies in utero and old people. For example, Although female genital mutilation is rightly thought as a painful, dangerous thing that has serious long term consequences, there is not the same respect paid to the foreskin of baby boys. Many men would like to play a larger part in bringing up their children but are perceived as sissies if they do so.

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      • That’s a good point. Many of my (feminist) friends support organizations such as “Intact America”, a non-profit fighting standard male circumcision – a great cause worth sharing and fighting for.

        Aaaand it stands to debate that modern feminism would also help men assume more diverse roles – despite feminists often being portrayed as “man-hating, ugly, ranting old hags”, we often make great partners, if I say so myself (you would have to ask my partner of ten years for confirmation) and are prepared to shoulder our share of the world in order to find arrangements that work for everyone. My sister’s husband has taken a year off from work, for example (Germany offers up to 14 months of paid parental leave to be shared among the parents), to care for their youngest, while she continues working – as she does home office most of the time, this was the solution that suits them best, and I love that their children have all kinds of diverse role models, from SAHM (my other sister) to SAHD (their dad) to weird, cat-owning career/creative weirdo (me). In a truly equal-rights, equal-opportunities world, there is room for everyone to lead the life that suits them best.

        (PS: My father never called himself a feminist, and was confused when I once called him that. Labels are not as important as actions. ^^)

    • You know what? It’s interesting that you said that. My anthropology professor said that female genital mutilation (FGM) is performed as a means of protecting a girl’s purity. I thought it was interesting. If we know FGM causes health issues why do these societies continue to do it? I’m very open minded. I try to understand these things but I just can’t.

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  188. Wow! I am impressed, that there is a female out there capable of thinking objectively through this subject in spite of what your gender may have to say to you about it. I like that you do not fear the backlash. Almighty God bless you in your writing.

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  191. Right on! We know that most of those protests don’t represent the majority of American women. It is really embarrassing the way they are carrying on. They need to get over themselves. Instead, we all need t remember how much we have to be grateful for. Thank you for standing for what is right. People like you are helping us restore our much beleaguered culture. Keep it up.

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    • Thanks so much CA! I really appreciate the support. Yeah, I think there are a lot of other opinions than those that are being protested. thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

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  193. You know I had to read this post after reading your most recent one. I think this post is interesting. My problem with most things is lack of accountability.I find it very problematic when we brush off what an adult is doing as normal behavior.People do what they are allowed to do. A guy isn’t going to hold you down and force himself on and into you because he has a penis but because he’s a savage monster who should be put behind bars who feels as though he won’t be held accountable. We need to stop saying things like “she totally murdered her boyfriend but that’s because he wasn’t paying the bills on time.” “Of course selling cocaine is bad but he’s rich and they aren’t used to paying for their crimes let’s just pretend like it never happened.” “He stole their car because he’s young and having fun.” None of it makes sense. If we’re going to preach accountability we need to be consistent.

    Another thing that came to mind as I read this was that every woman (in our country or any other first-world country) is not treated with respect and was not raised to feel valuable. This is where some women’s day march people were coming from and this hardly ever seems to be addressed.

    We’re not all raised the same way. We aren’t all taught to value ourselves. We aren’t all taught dignity and self-respect. Take any of these things away from any person and they end up ‘broken’ and/or confused. The fact that we live in the States or whatever other first-world country doesn’t ensure our safety and doesn’t ensure our prosperity. It makes our chances better but it doesn’t secure either of those things for us. Those things are taught in the home in our youth and by the people and entities that we socialize with.

    We also do not all have the same tools. I mean. You know this. You kind of spoke about it. Every school is not of the same caliber. You throw a kid into a building with obsolete books and technology and call it education. They get out completely unprepared for the world and everyone tells them, “well you had the same opportunity as that kid over there that attended the expensive freaking private school” knowing damn well that nothing could be further from the truth.

    Our country is far better with the treatment of women as a whole than some Asian and African countries but we should still work towards making things better. Each person is not represented by a wonderful shining statistic of what happened for someone else. Much like every man isn’t an abuser, everyone isn’t setup for success. When someone has concerns we should take note and pay attention. Telling someone their struggles are a figment of their imagination does no good because at the end of the day they’re still living it whether we choose to accept it or not.

    My thoughts on classic feminism. I don’t support feminism because feminism doesn’t support me. I’ll just leave that there.

    I’d also like to mention that every person does not have access to healthcare.

    I like traditional relationships but that doesn’t save me from dealing with bad men. I’m very feminine. I like to nurture. I cook, clean. I like doing my hair and painting my nails and looking pretty. Unfortunately that isn’t enough to stop someone from attacking me. A man has laid hands on me before and while I defended myself the fact that I’m a stereotypical woman did not protect me.

    I’m sorry the comment turned into a novel. LOL.

    Side note (LOL): Interesting that you wrote about FGM! I was just talking to a professor about that ‘ceremony.’

    I love hearing your thoughts! Awesome post. Ugh. I just love your blog. It’s sickening.

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  194. YES!!!

    I haven’t read any of the comments previous to mine, but I hear you got a lot of backlash – I’m not surprised, but I applaud you for this post. Even talking about how women dress. Feminism, in my opinion doesn’t just promote women. I believe it puts men down. I’m not a fan of the term “feminism”. I don’t know what it was like in the beginning… I’m all for my right to vote, and to work (even though I am a happy stay at home mom, something that feminist might frown upon)… but is it just me or has this whole feminism thing just gone too far?

    Thanks for the great post!

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    • Thanks Amy! Yeah, this topic garners a lot of passion! thanks for share your thoughts! i love the dialogue! i agree, it’s gone too far! it makes me sad how this wave of feminism puts men down. i’m all for love and respect for every person! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  195. My two cents worth?
    I think that recent feminism ideals denigrate the traditional roles of a woman. Today, it’s frowned upon if a woman chooses to stay home from a successful career to raise her family. ‘Why would she do that? She could be out making good money’!
    We should also consider the changing nature of people in our day. There are those who say that narcissistic numbers are on the rise in our North American society. This is a concern because of their lack of feeling and empathy which is a common characteristic of this condition. This unhealthy mental state is not treatable or curable. It’s very difficult to pick these people out in society and they are extremely dangerous to the rest of us. In our day they easily rise to power positions because of their ability to be ruthless.
    Another aspect I think is our society trying to accommodate and follow all the ideas and viewpoints of different people groups in North America. This sets people in different kinds of camps that often oppose each other. Looking at the cities close to where I live there are ‘neighborhoods’ of Indians, Asians, Chinese, etc, etc. each group trying to keep and practice its own culture, morals, thinking, customs, societal rules, and so forth. Multiculturalism hasn’t worked out in North America. We aren’t protecting people in general, we are protecting turbans, burkas, and headscarves, with the implication of every woman having to wear these items so as not to offend others. Feminism today is not about a woman’s rights to vote, to be able to work in the marketplace, to get an education, to marry who she wants. It has become a way to dictate the intricate details of women and men to the point where feminism becomes a burden and a yoke on society.

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    • Hi lindam, thank you for this thoughtful response. Lots of fascinating ideas to mull over. It all comes down to respect and love. For all people ๐Ÿ™‚ so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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  200. Sorry for the late comment here and if I’m repeating what others have already said. I see both sides of the coin and I think it is because there are varying degrees of feminism. I see myself more as a equal-rights opportunist. However, I do see the need for feminism on a global scale. In parts of the world, girls are being forced into marriage and therefore, procreating at too early of an age. There is also the practice of genital mutilation. A girl stands so very little change for opportunities because she is simply born a girl. In that respects, I think our stand towards women’s rights is important – a collective responsibility for that girl on the other side of the world who will have a very harsh life just because of she does not have the XY chromosome.

    As for just N. America and other developed parts of the world, some feminist take it one-step to far to a power-thirst and possibly men-hating level. They also cast a very strong judgement of women who do not follow their views of what a woman should be like in our now modern world. Any woman that WANTS to stay at home rather than focus on a career is then deemed to be lesser than a powerful woman. I do not agree with this at all.

    Having said that, even in N. America, we still do face some inequality. Aside from women making less than men at the same job, I have seen discrimination both on a subtle and blatant level. I have been subject to it myself. For one, I have heard male managers say they like hiring women (not for sexual harassment purposes though that is not completely improbable) but because women work harder, they say. And they may not realize it but it’s become somewhat of an epidemic. Women are hired for less pay, but they do more. And they are guilted to do more. Clients/Customers sometimes treat women unfairly. For example, I have this one male supplier – he is my equal. Our companies have a signed contract type relationship. He treats me differently because I am a woman. Very demeaning and no lack of respect that I have 20 years of experience – but I am to bow to him because of his 20 years of experience. Even though my experience has far surpassed him. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m lucky – he is the only one issue I have. Most male counterparts I deal with are pretty awesome!

    Men, however, also experience inequality, too. That is why I see myself more as an equal-rights opportunist. Because there’s a fine line where being a feminist might go to far and tip the scale the other way. One might argue then that that is not being a TRUE feminist and I would agree with them on that.

    As for the act of Women’s March, I agree – I don’t know how effective it is in solving some of the global issues I mentioned above. I do, however, see it as promoting some of the every-day organizations working hard to try and stop these issues (of which I deem as abuse). It is a reminder, perhaps, we are not going to back down and we are going to fight the GOOD fight. Time will tell in the long run if there’s any affect the march and protests might have.

    As for pro-choice/pro-life… I am pro-choice, which is different in my eyes as pro-abortion. I see this as the only socially healthy way of dealing with unwanted pregnancies from tragic situations. I don’t believe it should be used as birth control. For me, I would rather see more time and money put into resources of education at a very early age in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies and safer sex. The sex education programs at public schools is quite shameful and requires some major revamping. My daughter is in Grade 7 – most of her female classmates are in the midst of puberty and I am STILL waiting for them to teach sex education (of course, I took it upon myself to teach her a long time ago – simple because she started asking questions and I wanted to keep that conversation open).

    Anyway – as you can see, I agree with you in some areas and I don’t in others. Point is, we’re all entitled to one’s opinion. The thing is that we’re open to hearing all sides and to even ponder over what each new perspective might bring. THAT is important – that is how we learn, grow and evolve for a better understanding and a better future!

    Peace!

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    • Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I really appreciate you sharing your heart and joining the dialogue. I am so with you on that – having open and healthy and respectful conversations are so important. Because every person comes to the table with different experiences and perspectives that shape their beliefs. And by listening and hearing each other, we can grow and come to an understanding. I have learned so much from the generous comments on here and I’m very grateful for that! Thanks again. ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs to you !! Xox

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      • Thank you for the powerful and succinct post! It’s easy to feel like the only twenty-something woman out there with these views, glad I’m not alone!

      • Hello, I actually do like your post. i think we do need to teach our men how to treat women,and not how to basically treat each other in this society we live in. I am pro choice and my thing with abortion is I believe there should be sex education in high schools. If we can teach our young that sex is beautiful,and that you have to protect yourself I think abortion will continue to go down. Also I have spoken to some women who went to the Womens march. Most of the Women I talked to were women of color,who sometimes feel like they are not included in the national dialogue. I also talked to some trans women who feel like some feminist are very antagonistic to them,and they went to lend their voice to the discussion. I do agree that women in the west are at a very good advantage,compared to other women in the world. However,things still are not perfect here and they very much may never be perfect. I do consider myself a feminist however, I do not attack women who are not feminist as self hating women. I did like your post,and keep up the good work. I think discussions like this are needed to move the conversation forwarded.

  202. Read Sheldon Vanauken’s “under the mercy” in which he points to equal but different.. Noticed you are often reading my blog. Have you also lost a spouse recently?

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      • Thank you. It is nice to know someone besides family reads my stuff.. I ‘m still on my Grief journey. Wife died January 7, 2017. Only 7 weeks from diagnosis to death. Cancer sucks.

      • Gosh, that is so tragic. I am so sorry for your loss, which i know sounds like hollow words, but I want you to know that I sincerely pray for you and your grief journey. yes, cancer does suck. Thank you for sharing your journey. sending all my love. xx

  205. What a pleasure to read this post! I have 5 kids! 3 boys, 2girls. Growing up was confusing for them. People glared at me for overpopulating the worldโ€”I feel I contributed, and now, at 83, I’ve just published a book. Also, the current publicity on homosexuals and transgenders can be confusing for young people trying to figure out how to be men and women. We are not androgynous!

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    • Thanks so much Paula! Oh wow 5 kids, that’s awesome!! And congratulations on your book! You’re right- it’s difficult to find those fundamental truths in today’s cultural climate. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  206. Wish WordPress had a “Love” button. Couldn’t agree more! We’re marching for the wrong rights ladies! I am not a male. I was not created to be one. I’m NOT inferior, but I AM different and we should be celebrating those God given differences.

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  210. I couldn’t help but agree with your viewpoint. Adolescents or teenagers like me should be educated more with such thing before entering womanhood since both ignorance and negligence are a of total foolishness and stupidity. In this point of our generation, women should know more about what is their right role in the society.

    God bless and keep writing <3 ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Thanks so much friend. I appreciate you joining the conversation! You’re right, we should be offering good role models to teens and young adults too. That transition period is so precious ๐Ÿ™‚ my sister in law always says, in a world of Kim kardashians, be a Joanna Gaines (from HGTV’s fixer upper) haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  213. I am actually pro-choice (not pro-abortion, and no, I don’t want to argue with you about that), and I supported the march, but I absolutely love this post. Seriously. This is the absolute best, most articulate, and least abrasive argument I’ve ever read/heard for being pro-life and for being skeptical of the Women’s March. If more of us could relay our thoughts in this way, the world would be a better place. And you know what? Only a woman could say it as well as you did! I love it.

    Best,
    Andrea

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    • Thank you so much Andrea. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue. Thanks for your kind and respectful words! I so admire your openness and willingness to participate in an open and respectful dialogue. Seriously. That’s what we need for healing and understanding. The world needs more people like you ๐Ÿ™‚ sending massive hugs your way ๐Ÿค— xoxo

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  215. You hands down put my own thoughts into words. I was just telling my husband the other day about these same feelings and thoughts I was having. Men and women are meant to be different and embrace the power and beauty that difference offers. Thank you for the courage and beauty in expressing this!!

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  216. Every person has a different reason, perhaps. However, some of the organizers of the Womens’ March are actually against women’ rights. So, what we saw was a political protest masquerading as something else. Personally, I’m all for women’ rights but the the one country that has done more for women’ rights is the U.S.A. So why all the fuss? Why aren’t they protesting for women’ rights for women in Saudi Arabia, for example?

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    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection. I agree, we have so much to be grateful for her in the US. I mean SO MUCH. Thanks for stopping by and joining the dialogue. Hugs and love xox

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  222. First, and most importantly… just love Buffy and Willow! lol

    What matters most, pick a topic, is Truth. So, in general, things to research…

    Who is behind the brainwashing of so-called “feminists”? What is their motive / intention?
    Who organized the women’s marches? That’s kinda key. Look it up.
    Where is George Soros’ hand in such things? What did he or his organizations pay for?

    Women in western countries run around topless as they sing Allah Akbar, obviously not grasping that doing such in Muslim countries would very likely get one stoned to death or equal. I have far less issue with their t*ts hanging out than I do with their ignorance sticking out. They could stand to cover that up, no one needs to see that. ๐Ÿ˜‰ lol

    There is a major disconnect for a “liberal / feminist” to ally with Muslims who are the biggest abusers and oppressors of women in the world, one could say they are anti-liberal… then, yes, these liberals “protest” in America of all places. It doesn’t need to make sense… because it’s unsane. And marching to protest rape? … as invading Muslims rape every European man, woman and child they can get their hands on?

    Abortion? I’m still pro-choice, BUT! I’m mostly into encouraging and advocating EMPOWERMENT. Hey, I’d love to see the whole “free love” idea of the ’60s see realization, but meanwhile being discriminatory / selective in your sexual partners is key. First and foremost, there is a great energy exchange during sex, which makes a good case against promiscuity. Isn’t your plate full enough? Really, you want to willy nilly take on someone else’s issues too? Including some “someones” who you may not even know very well? How’s about being pro-choice before you hop in the sack?

    Furthermore, Creation, including procreation, starts at the Intention level. How’s about tapping into one’s Intentional Power SO masterfully that you and a partner who don’t use birth control don’t need to, you only need to set your intentions. THAT would completely erase any possibility of an “unwanted pregnancy”. How’s that for Empowerment?! How’s that for completely obliterating even any further discussion about abortion?!

    … and yet, yep, let’s see some Truth there too. I’d like to see ALL the truth come out about abortions and what happens to the fetal tissue, etc. THAT is where the story is concerning abortion, NOT about Jane Average making a choice in her life. And yet as far as personal choices go, it is Truth that allows people to make an informed choice… about anything and everything. But one must be open to the Truth, even if it completely dashes their belief system. “A man searched his whole life for Truth. One day Truth knocked at his door… and he slammed the door in its face.”

    https://gaiaascensionforerunner.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/who-will-not-ascend/

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue and sharing your thoughts! Empowerment is definitely an interesting way to look at things. thanks for the powerful food for thought. big hugs xox

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  226. Thanks for the likes. This post on Feminism is classic.
    May I add. Today, we have false feminism. The main problem rests on the philosophy it is based on. It hinges on the idea that women must conform to maleness and manhood as model. What a feminist must do is uphold the dignity and honor of womanhood—what women do that men cannot without changing their biology.

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    • Thank so much! That’s a really interesting perspective. Amen! We should celebrate that dignity and uniqueness. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue! Hugs and love xox

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  227. This is a really good post. I like that it points out the faults of the modern feminist movement and where it should be if it were truly for women. Many of the modern feminist goals are why I don’t like the movement and why I don’t consider myself a feminist at all. It’s goals turn me off. But it is refreshing to hear of other women who share this view.

    Also thanks for visiting my blog and liking what I’ve written. I appreciate it!

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  230. You have written well , and I must say I admire the idea and wisdom in your write up great, I have seen the problem too the direction at which feminisim Is evolving is a wrong it is mutually destructive than productive in regards to setting that equilibrium for peaceful co-existence, it has endured that the silent psychological war goes on , this mutually destructive war between both genders in quest for dominance …. And I will correct a perception , and I stand corrected it is what I belief because there is need for a paradigm shift … According to the bible men have being given some kind of dominance naturally so attempts to keep echoing it causes the upsurge of what I call the “servile syndrome” so the woman is not created to do more than what the man can do. They are to do what the men cannot do because each gender are naturally endowed with distinct functions … You can get more on my point of view on spiralofthyrayvelation.WordPress.com …

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  231. This quest for dominance between has broken homes , terminated relationships, I will have to refute the statement that says women can do more than what men can do that is “like fueling the war” Women are to do what men cannot do I.e.every gender has distinct functions, and you have written well ๐Ÿ‘ … Both gender needs to acquire high level of understanding and basking in the satisfaction of whom they really are male or female .. the battle for dominance is a lost cause , the girth is that both cannot do without the other … So no amount of marching can change that , #peace

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  232. You have eloquently put into words my slack jawed response at the seemingly invisible attack on women’s rights and what not. Millions of women marching for a cause that I could not understand. Perhaps my sheltered point of view is skewed from a perspective of understood peace among North Americans. I guess I never got the memo that anyone has been so greatly wronged that the entire country should take action. BBB, you’re beautiful darlin’.

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    • Thank you so much friend ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so glad this resonated with you. Gosh, I am really touched by your words. Yeah, we have so much to be grateful for, I don’t understand the need to protest those “wrongs.” thanks for stopping by and for your support! big hugs xox

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  233. Thank you for sharing your wonderfully put perspective on these issues. I’m thinking you’re really onto something here!!

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  234. It’s so difficult to talk to women who take the “feminist” stance which is disappointing. I would never tell someone they are stupid for standing for something but instead of focusing on free birth control we should focus on the sexual assault, rape, and spousal abuse which is still prominent in the US. Thank you for sharing your voice!

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  236. I agree with many of the points you make about feminism in this article. Higher education, medical care, political rights, ability to work, etc. We are on opposite sides of the abortion issue, and yes, I do see this issue as a woman’s right to decide. Personally, I do not understand why anyone would want to boycott work just to show what the world would be like. Open a history book to find out what life was like. There is tons of literature available. Why jeopardize what you have? Attack on feminism? I do not really see that in America. Thank you for sharing your view points!

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    • Thank you so much for joining the conversation! I think you’re right- we have so much to be grateful for. Why jeopardize what you have is right. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  237. Your post is great and filled with a lot of pointers that so-called ‘feminists’ would rather ignore in favour of their own stand. However, I have one question: If womanhood is about the ability to bear life, what does womanhood mean for those who have womb/cervical cancers and have undergone a hysterectomy?
    Thanks for reading my blog post The Money Conundrum by the way.

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  238. The only reason that “women’s march” occurred was to create a disturbance and distract from the hated enemy of the liberal Democrats Trump on Inauguration Day. I love being a woman and do girly things and yet I am one tough broad like my sister was and we both went hunting and fishing with our dad back in the day. Had a great career with the Feds for many years. Some don’t have any legitimate gripes but can’t stand to see someone else win for a change. In my many years of work experience, I only saw pay unequal if someone was trying to stick it to someone or play favoritism. You only saw that behavior in the private sector.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation. It sounds like you and your sister are pretty awesome!! I appreciate you stopping by! big hugs xo

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  239. Very well said. I truly appreciate your writing as well as the God-given light that shines through you in the way you share your life and faith. He made you for a purpose and it is wonderful to see that purpose displayed so beautifully.

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  240. Whoa. I found myself wanting to argue, but unable to conjure meaningful words from my brain dictionary. Such a touchy subject. You are courageous for taking it on like this. I actually was just making fun of a facebook page called, “women against feminism”– calling it a group for ‘self-hate’. But, I’m questioning myself.

    I feel like taking my brain hands off the topic and letting women deal with it, but then that’s not really fair. Men and women contribute to patriarchy. While things may be better than they were in the past, I assume that a large group of Americans would send us straight back to the biblical days.. if they could. And they’re trying. I think this is where the radical feminists come in– they just keep pushing the envelope, stopping the backsliding into stoning for adultery and shit.

    And, then there are the ‘Spiritual’ fools that still actively promote some ancient view of woman, thinking their occult garbage is some justification for bullshit patriarchal ideals handed down from the exoteric teachings of their stupid religions. I’m getting angry at religion again, lately ๐Ÿ™‚ I recently had to battle some super popular “Gnostic” on this topic. They claim awakening but act like robots trained by idiot dogma.

    So, I guess my view of this topic digs into the spiritual teachings our culture holds dear.. Annnnnd, those books that hold those spiritual teachings contain tons of hateful bullshit that leave women in the mud. And, then I see women defending these ‘revealed’ commands about how to mistreat women and I am saddened and confused.

    I might not make much sense. But, if we read deeply, and look around with clear vision, we see the bullshit from our religious texts playing out still, in the actions of people who claim to be irreligious. The influence of Christian ideals is huge– most western non-christians, from the ways they act and the morality they uphold, might as well be Christian.

    Much love! Many blessings!
    Thanks for sharing your gnotruth!

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    • Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation! Yeah there are definitely areas that need improvement, but we have so much to be grateful for. I appreciate you sharing your perspective! Big hugs to you xox

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  242. Spot on! The thing is, if a woman doesn’t want to become a mother, she doesn’t have to, but a man doesn’t have that choice, so I don’t know what they’re complaining about.

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  244. I do have to have a different opinion. I think one of the reasons of the Marchs in USA is because of the way that president trump treats woman, it isn’t very nice and its hardly a secret. Indeed there are more woman in university but less woman in research or employed as professors. Any woman or any person in fact can choose to go to University as long as they have the grades, but when it comes to getting a job and being a leader the statistics are lower. Many CEO’s are men. Furthermore I don’t agree with ‘The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children’. That really limits what woman can do, sure its great that we have that option but that is not the sole purpose of a woman. Imagine if everyone woman had one child in the world, you have to bear in mind that the words resources are not limitless. All woman should have the right to have the choice to have a child or not, it is a womans body, that’s awful not to allow a person to take the decision in my opinion, if its banned woman will go to the blackmarket and likely get botched job and suffer injury or death. Overall I think its important that woman do stand together especially when people like Trump take the attitude they take.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation. I really appreciate hearing all of the different perspectives. When we come together and listen to each other and have a respectful conversation, it leads to respect and understanding. So thank you:) Hugs and love xox

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  245. People are marching because even though we have things really great compared to the rest of the world, it’s still not perfect (or even close). And we’re striving for perfect balance, perfect equality. And because things have been happening that perhaps could imply that we are not going to be allowed the privileges and rights we have been. And because we have to “BE ALLOWED.” Society can turn on a dime, and people can lose what they have overnight. I think all women would just like all people to know that we are paying attention, that we are not going without a fight. That we are out here, working on changing the culture, and will not step back into the “good old days” when women didn’t have to be bothered to vote or own property or travel unchaperoned.

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    • Thanks Sherron, for sharing your thoughts. I agree that there are definitely areas that need improvement. Thanks for joining the conversation. i truly appreciate hearing all sides and viewpoints! big hugs xo

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  246. Thank you! And I’m cis female akanborn and don’t want to get surgery but due to psycholgical issues since childhood I don’t identify as a woman and not quite a male although God did make me a lady. But regardless, this feminism trend is out of control. There’s a hashtag for radical feminists #killallmen how horrible is that?! God bless you hunny another amazing post.

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    • Hi Aibon, thank you so much for sharing your story. Kill all men!?!! Yikes. That is really disturbing. I’m all for love and respect all the way around. You’re right – it’s out of control. So glad you stopped by ๐Ÿ™‚ big hugs to you! Xox

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  249. Caralyn, I’m so glad that I’ve been following your blog long enough to not only have learned and appreciated your story (stories!) but also to learn that the places I disagree with you (and there are many) are places where I can be challenged by someone who has thought out her views. I appreciate your writing this post and its companion “Seeing Red” for their clarity of argument (both pro-choice AND pro-life are often more diatribes than explanations of one’s own views), but I admit that I’m only just now writing a response because I had to calm down enough to do so. Seeing red is right.
    I’m sad to see your comment that “women are not marginalized in the United States of America.” It is getting much better for heterosexual white women, true, but women of color and bisexual and homosexual women are absolutely marginalized–I see it in the way that people talk about physical appearances, in the expectations people have of what certain woman and women in general can and cannot do, and in the many glass ceilings that still exist. When you say “I don’t know what women are fighting for” I appreciate the opportunity to articulate it: we have access to health care but only in limited ways (one example is women who rely on public clinics for regular checkups have to travel several hours to get to one, something they often can’t afford in terms of time off of work or the finance of travel). Women are a force in college atmospheres but are still underrepresented in the STEM majors and are most certainly at a higher statistical risk for violence while at college. Women can’t hold the presidency, sadly, unless you’re talking about the possibility on paper–note that we are on male president number 45. Women most certainly can’t wear anything in public without the say of a man–street harassment is very real. (As is judgment of what consequences clothing should bring–you yourself mentioned that women who walk outside in “lingerie-equivalent club wear” are just “asking for trouble” because she is not “respecting [her] own bod[y].”)
    I was at the march in Washington in January because I believe wholeheartedly that the fight for equity (not equality–I agree with many of your other commentators that men and women are different and shouldn’t be made into the same type of person, though I disagree with how and why) is not over. The pay gap exists. Sexism exists. Racism exists. I see them. I experience them. Marching to “end rape” is only part of it and is an attempt to start changing the culture, a necessity you rightly suggest.
    It’s interesting that many of the same reasons you list for being pro-life are the very reasons I am pro-choice. I don’t believe the “very essence of being female is the ability to bear children” as I think that women who can’t are every bit as much female (which you get into in your companion post). But I do believe that the ability to bear life is an incredible thing that should be done mindfully, prayerfully, and purposefully. Most abortions are of middle-class, middle-aged women who simply can’t support an unexpected pregnancy, emotionally, physically, or financially. Abortion is a tragedy every time. But I don’t understand how bringing a child into the world simply for the sake of bringing a child into the world–a world unprepared to care for it in any loving sense–is less cruel.
    There is much else to say because you open a lot of really good conversational ground, but I know this is enough for a response right now. Again, thank you for the clear presentation of your views and the invitation to do the same with mine.

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    • Hi Christiania, thank you so much for sharing your heart and for joining the conversation and offering this powerful perspective. i am being 100% serious when I say that i appreciate and *enjoyed* reading this, because i have learned a lot. you have really articulated your beliefs in a respectful way, and for that i am truly grateful. i believe that dialogue is a powerful thing and a terrific way for people to come together, and seek to understand one another. one amazing thing, is how everybody comes to the table with different life experiences and perspectives and i am just so grateful to be able to learn from everyone. Thanks again for this thoughtful response. lots of great and insightful things to mull over here. big hugs to you x

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    • I agree with you, Christiana.
      Personally, I am a feminist. I am also Catholic/agnostic.
      We disagree on many things, Carolyn, but each to their own. I strive to be both pro-choice and pro-life. There is more to being the latter than the abortion issue. I’ve articulated my thoughts about this topic pretty clearly last year in a blog post that’s still pinned to the top of my page I think. I need to update it, but basically, I believe that dialogue is key but I can accept that what I would do in one situation, others may not feel they have the same choice.
      Feminism is still needed because IMO rape culture is rooted in patriarchy and the male-dominated power structures of the world. I am an intersectional feminist, so yes, I support the rights of people who are LGBTIQA+, disabled, poor, different skin colour/ethnicities, different body shapes.
      Tbh, Trump and others like him give me the creeps – that he can go on record saying such comments about women and others yet still become the leader of a country, I see as an example of rape culture. People couldn’t handle the fact that Hilary Clinton was not their typical woman or something (despite all her qualifications)? A part of me wasn’t surprised – I mean, look what the Australian press and several prominent male Parliamentarians did to Julia Gillard. Each of these women has their faults of course. But they were highly qualified, credible women. Just because they didn’t fit the mould of a “stereotypical” woman is a sign that the mould needs updating, not that they’re lacking. That’s one reason why I’m feminist. I could say more, too, but hopefully, this is enough of a glimpse into my worldview.

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      • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation. I really appreciate hearing all different perspectives! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read. Hugs and love xox

  250. I’m so late to this it’s not funny but a subject like this never goes away. You called out the contradictions inherent in so many ways. ‘Feminism’ has become a weapon, not a tool for reconfiguring the inequity that still prevails. The problem is it has become a ‘fit-all’ for everything and doesn’t allow as you alluded to in your post, the improvement to the lives of many women. For me ‘feminism’ has become a very noisy and over-used word on so many levels. It needs to be re-thought. I like your ‘daring’ style.

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  252. I find this post exciting to be sincere, and I understand completely the angle you’re coming from, and it’s not out of place. The thing is, that the ideology of feminism has been corrupted to begin to mean a whole lot of queer things, and vain struggles, and that’s the reason for all the complications. Feminism in its originality, is a beautiful movement, because the truth remains that we still live in a patriarchal society that still give more respect, attention, honor, and preference to the male gender in situations where the both genders should be in equal standing. I believe that all human beings should be respected and honored because they are human beings, and selections should be made based on input value and worth, and not on gender or any biased means. This is why I believe everybody should be feminists in its originality. Nice post here

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    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate this thoughtful response. Yes! We need to get back to a spirit of love and respect and inclusiveness. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

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  257. Hi again! (I have some rare free time tonight – can you tell? :D)

    Here’s where I’m with you –

    – I am passionately pro-life. As I’m fond of saying, “abortion is bullshit.” (Excuse my French, but it’s really REALLY fun to say that in certain circles.)
    – In theory, women have equal protection under the law. Yay, personhood!
    – Women have been actively encouraged to better their situation – yay! Which is 1000% necessary (no that’s not a typo) because I see from your writing elsewhere that you agree that women have a much greater responsibility than men – they are responsible for creating new life.

    Here’s where I disagree –

    – Women cannot emasculate men. If men have a problem with strong women, they need to look deep inside themselves and spend some time thinking about what gives them meaning. If a certain man can only find meaning by protecting and providing and growing a BIG BEARD and having BIG MUSCLES, then find a woman who finds meaning complementing that. Or go be a priest. If a certain man finds more meaning staying home and holding crying babies and managing toddler tantrums and cleaning the house, then find a woman who finds meaning in a complementary role. Or go be a priest. That’s what my husband and I did (well, not the priest part), and that’s why I’m the breadwinner and he has raised our son and my daughters. (So far everyone is alive and the house hasn’t burnt down – success!) Bottom line – there’s room in the world (and good thing, too!) for flexibility in what it means to be feminine AND masculine. (I wrote about that here: https://athenasantics.wordpress.com/2015/01/10/its-a-womans-world-apparently/)
    – Men as a whole still need to be reminded, and reminded often, that feminism is a Thing and that women should be treated like people. Within the last few years I have worked in environments that were less progressive and more progressive. I appreciate the professionalism of more progressive environments. I am more effective and more able to provide for my family in more progressive environments. In less progressive environments, I get asked in client meetings if I’m pregnant with my superiors present and laughing it off. In less progressive environments, I get hit on by clients which my superiors knew about ahead of time and sent me in anyway because “we figured you could handle it okay”.
    – You think we need a change in culture? I agree. This progressive, feminist marcher agrees: http://samanthapfield.com/2017/01/25/the-womens-march-is-a-culture-war/ This link is what I point people to when they don’t understand why the women’s march happened.

    Anyway – lots to talk about under this umbrella!

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  258. Intriguing, thought provoking post. The feminist movement was born out of frustration, anger–righteous anger, but anger none the less–pain and resentment. All of these things are negative and are the necessary ingredients of a movement for change. But the movement must not stay in negativity, it most move to hope and empowerment or it will become stagnant and impenetrable, the very things that it sought to change. Cheers.

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  259. Wow once again such a great post!! I really don’t understand what they are so angry about either. We have rights we have equality just in a different way. I wouldn’t want the line between men and women to be blurred I think we are meant to be different and that’s what makes us great and that’s how God made us. Standing for the family as well. Keep on writing such thought provoking content. The world needs it!! xoxo all the best

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    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support and encouraging words. Amen – thatโ€™s the most important thing to remember : God made us ๐Ÿ™‚ Hugs and love xox

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  262. Hey Sis, You might be interested in this project I’m working on which is about celebrating women as bold and beautiful in spite of physical disabilities. Theses women have demonstrated great courage in the face of adversity and hardship. Some have been disabled through accidents. Others were born this way. We are trying to define beauty by the Spirit and not by the flesh. https://incisivereview.com/2018/11/08/the-bold-beauty-project-of-texas/

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  263. I agree with pretty much everything you’ve said here. It’s refreshing to see a young woman not supporting all those marches for apparent freedom, but questioning what on earth is going on and what do marches achieve anyway. Not a lot, that’s for sure… and the scary thing is… very few people actually realise that.

    When I was a in my teens and twenties in the 80’s there was a huge amount of feminism talked about in the news. Lots of female celebs involved in marches and campaigns. It used to really annoy me, because I didn’t feel women had a hard time even in the 80’s. I think there were problems when it came to working women especially in office work, there were some issues with women being suppressed in regard to promotion and also sexual harassment was a much bigger problem than it is today, and women couldn’t deal with it easily in the legal sense. So maybe because I wasn’t involved in that world it didn’t effect me, it didn’t seem real. But I doubt a march in the street really changed any of that… it takes a lot more than shouting our lungs out in the street in a march to change those kinds of dark situations. Reality is… most women involved in those marches will do nothing to make a change other than go on the march and maybe rant about what they are unhappy with… that changes very little.

    I have a horrible feeling this rise in women interested in feminism… marches on the street and many other pointless demonstrations is actually a nasty trick. This is just my own theory, I could be wrong about this, but… I’ve been watching the situation unfold and it looks to me like it could well be a way of demolishing feminism, to take us all back way into the past where women will have little rights left. I’m not talking about laws preventing women, but just society in general could over time be persuaded to stop listening to women because …”Oh look what they did or said once they had the right to demand whatever they wanted!” We are getting to a situation where men are struggling to have a say. It seems what the woman wants is all that matters because anything else is suppressing her human rights. The man’s opinions seems to be irrelevant. That’s exactly where women were many years ago… it’s all reversing. And it will most likely reverse again… but for women. History will repeat itself over and over.

    The trick is to occupy our minds so we don’t actually notice worse situations arising right in front of our eyes. Right now, many people believe we have a great system of recycling going on… not perfect, but it’s growing and changing our society… that’s not true, it’s a total lie. A lot of our recycling contents in our bins end up dumped in another country. The wrong items are sent, in some cases contaminated recycling, which is of no use for recycling, so it ends up in big containers forever dumped somewhere in India or China. That’s the reason China decided they didn’t want the recycling any more because they were tricked into accepting material they thought was suitable but it wasn’t… their country was becoming a dumping ground for the world so called recycling. That’s just one of the major horrors going on, hardly anyone is ranting about, or taking to the streets in a march. There’s a You Tube video called “China Desperately Grapples With Its Plastic Waste Crisis” that will give you a very good sense of the extent of waste dumped around the world… it’s a horrifying picture of reality.

    There’s also the problem of hidden human slaves in out own neighbourhoods where men, women and children are taken captive to work… in some cases as sex slaves. It’s not that these issues are not spoken of, but I see very few people ranting, or taking to streets to demand something be done about those poor people trapped. But instead, we will celebrate slavery being abolished or take to the streets to demand rights we already have. Mm… there’s a reason for all these things, and it’s never what it appears to be. It actually avoidance.

    I’m glad you wrote about this, not enough young women today confront illogical thinking especially over feminism. Please keep on with the questioning of these nonsense things in our society… we need more people on this planet who think like that.

    Sorry about the very looooog comment… I just felt I needed to say this.

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