The Exploitation By “To The Bone”

Before tonight’s zinger..which…I’m fired up tonight, so get ready….

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But first, I have some incredibly exciting news to share.

I just found out that BeautyBeyondBones was ranked in the Top 25 Eating Disorder Recovery Websites on the World Wide Web!

 

So thank you with all my heart for taking the time out of your busy lives to read my words.

OK…now onto tonight’s main event.

As you know, I was utterly disgusted at Netflix for their irresponsible and harmful depiction of teenage suicide in “13 Reasons Why.”

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You’d think they’d have learned their lesson after the backlash by the public, and several tragic copy-cat teenage suicides post-airing. But no.

In fact, they’ve done it again….

And this time…it’s about anorexia.

The movie is called “To The Bone” and it is being released on July 14.

They just premiered the trailer.

I watched it.

I nearly threw up I was so repulsed.

*sigh* Where do I even begin.

Let me just start out by saying that I am 10 years strong into my recovery from a life threatening case of anorexia. I starved myself down to 78 pounds. Went to inpatient treatment. Relapsed. Exercised destructively. And osteopenia, infertility, and some serious other issues later, I am finally healthy – mind, body and spirit.

And even though I am 10 years strong, I was triggered by this trailer.

Seeing Lily Collins, the actress who plays the main character – a 20-year-old young woman with anorexia – in such a severely emaciated state made me absolutely shudder.

The hollowed out and gaunt face, the skeletal frame — it made my blood boil.

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You see, the actress, Lily Collins, battled an eating disorder herself. And so for her to have to get down to that dangerously low weight, while in real life, she is in recovery herself, it pains me to think of the detrimental harm that did to her own personal recovery.

But seeing those images poses a tremendous risk for those girls (and boys) who are struggling with an eating disorder, or who are in recovery. It was just wayyy too realistic. Just too far.

It’s hard for a person who has never struggled with an eating disorder to understand what “triggering” really means to someone with/in recovery from ED.

And yeah, seeing her skeletal, emaciated frame is triggering, but it’s also other things too — like seeing her deny food. Depictions of purging or exercise. Depictions of obsession over food and calories. “Triggering” images and language make a person miss their eating disorder, point blank. Triggers make a person “flirt” with ED, and seriously jeopardize their recovery…best way to put it.

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The whole trailer just romanticized anorexia. From the joking — yes, joking — about her ability to know every food item’s caloric amount, to her measuring the circumference of her arms with her thumb and middle finger, hell – to her “thigh gap,” or to the “glamour shots” of her sharp bones protruding from her back, to the handsome therapist in her inpatient treatment facility who takes the kids outside in the rain so that they “remember how to live.”

I’m sorry. But when I was so severely depleted, I couldn’t even go to bed with wet hair after a shower because of the calories I’d expend from the loss of heat in my head while I slept. Going out in the rain is not something that you are physically able to do as someone with anorexia – your body simply cannot regulate your body temperature and keep it warm. Had a therapist/doctor taken kids out in the rain…he would have lost his job. And his medical license.

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To be fair, I haven’t seen the movie, but from the 2 minute trailer, I can tell you that I don’t want to.

“To The Bone’s” recklessly irresponsible depiction of anorexia made me want to scream.

And what’s more is that in addition to Lily Collins, the writer and director also suffered from an eating disorder.

THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER

How dare they put out material that is going to trigger those who watch it.

“But we’re trying to start a conversation about an important topic…”

Bull. Shit.

I’m sorry, but someone had to say it.

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I’m sick and tired of Hollywood glorifying issues that real people suffer from, just to push the envelope and be edgy, and cause a buzz for their movie.

Not cool.

You want to really help raise awareness and open up a dialogue about anorexia? Then how about you not romanticize it and joke about it on an *dramatic-comedy.*

Why don’t you ask someone who actually lived through the starvation, isolation, calorie obsession, tortuous exercise, broken relationships, shattered future, inpatient treatment — what she thinks about your enshrined depiction of a disease – a mental illness – that nearly killed her? Why don’t you ask me?

Because I’ll tell you: I’m not laughing.

I’m disgusted.

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You’re “sincere” efforts to open a dialogue — are already having detrimental effect: Photos of a gaunt and skeletal Lily Collins from the trailer are already being passed around the internet as “thinspo,” – aka: “thin-spiration” — photos that mentally sick girls use to salivate over as they deny themselves food in order to starve down to nothing.

Way to go. Way to raise “awareness.”

Netflix, you should be ashamed of the despicable representation of mental illness here recently with 13 Reasons Why and To the Bone.

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You should realize the power of influence, especially on young, impressionable teenage minds.

There is a responsibility that comes with platform, and you are promoting shows that propagate harmful and negligent material.

“To the Bone” went way too far.

It is a desperate cry for “artistic attention” that romanticizes the nature of anorexia, while simultaneously negating the dangers of the disease, creating a seriously destructive narrative.

I want no part of that.

None.

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434 responses to “The Exploitation By “To The Bone””

      • Last week I started reading your blog from the beginning. It has been an emotional read for me so far and I am still reading! At least I know there is a happy ending!! ☺️Hugs!

      • Wow, Roda, I am so touched that you would want to read my story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will definitely keep you in my prayers as you journey through that time with me 🙂 sending massive hugs xo

  3. Pastor, I’m so proud of you for so many reasons! Congratulations on your recognition and award which is well deserved! You are touching many lives and there are so many more to reach!

    Reply

    • Thanks Rick! Yeah, I was really surprised when I received their notification email! haha thanks so much for your support and your friendship. I’m very grateful! hugs xox

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  4. I saw the trailer and thought it had a little bit of Rose-tinted glasses. I’m sorry you got triggered by it and I had no idea the actress’s pictures are “thinspo” now. That’s awful.

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    • Thanks girl. Yeah, it’s really sad – I mean, I applaud the for wanting to open a dialogue, but this was just not a very sensitive way to go about doing so. *sigh* any who, hope you’re having a great night friend 🙂 big hugs to ya!! 🙂 xox

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  5. Well done on the top 25! That’s amazing!!!!!
    Kids and parents have been told about this program… Well warned. Its terrible.

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  6. So powerful. I will remember you as a Christian resource should my daughters ever go through this. Way to speak up! I’m disgusted with what most of the things Netflix and Amazon consider “art”.

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    • Gosh, thank you so much. I am truly touched by that. And you’re right – there’s a lot of filth out there masquerading as “art”… thanks for stopping by! big hugs x

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  8. Good Lord, I would never have known about this as I don’t like Netflix or any similar platform. How utterly vile and irresponsible of that network. They should be fined or forced to close down. Congratulations on being so highly ranked across the web! You deserve this! I’m thinking about trying to contact Netflix…

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    • Hi John, thanks for this. yeah, it is truly irresponsible, and my heart breaks for the young girls who are going to be hurt from watching this movie. Thanks for your support 🙂 and yes! giving them feedback makes you a responsible consumer!! big hugs xox

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  9. Project Heal have honoured them for the movie. I agree completely about triggers but I also think if the movie raises awareness it can be a good thing. I know a lot of ED sufferers who didn’t realise they were ill and a lot of parents and friends that didn’t notice the signs until it was almost too late. Controversial topics will always create emotions especially when it’s something you have personal experience with.
    Congratulations on your award, you are a fantastic writer and deserve all the praise and recognition!

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    • Thanks so much Angela, for this thoughtful response. Yeah – I did know that Project Heal supported them, which to be completely honest, I was rather shocked by. I agree – raising awareness is important, and I applaud them for wanting to start a dialogue, but I just pray that this realistic depiction doesn’t do more harm than good. But we’ll see. I hope I’m wrong!! 🙂 Because you’re right – there is *definitely* an important conversation to be had. Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to read! Big hugs to you 🙂 xox

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  11. so glad you wrote about this… when i saw trailer and how it romanticized eatting disorders i thought, why would they do this. society is already so geared on calory counting and ever changing fad diets..

    thank you for voicing about this!!! ❤️❤️❤️

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  12. Oh Caralyn, I don’t really know what to say. But I do know that you have my prayers for continued good health. Don’t buy the lie, it’s really expensive. <3 Continue speaking truth. And I suggest a strongly worded letter to Netflix, share it to their facebook page, or on yours and tag them in the post.
    We must stop glamorizing things that do spiritual, physical, and emotional harm to the person.

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    • Thank you so much Teri, I really appreciate your wonderfully kind words and prayers. I’ve never heard that saying about buying the lie, but oh my *goodness!!* it is so true. Thanks for sharing that. and yes! i think a letter to netflix is in order. big hugs xo

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  15. Oh. My. Gosh. I’m just sitting over here shaking my head in disbelief.

    Especially this -> “…who takes the kids outside in the rain so that they “remember how to live.”” I don’t know if that’s the best way to make an anorexic person remember how to live. Seems like a good way to make them cold and miserable and probably sick. 🙁

    On a more positive note, congrats on your blog’s recognition! That is so awesome! 😀

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  16. Thank you thank you thank you! I agree with everything you stated in your post. All over my FB feed I have seen posts about/featuring this trailor and promoting it, and it gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. I have believed myself to be pretty much (newly – as in the last 2 years) recovered from Anorexia, and seeing these posts (I have not even watched the trailor) really got to my head and, well, triggered me. People are saying they are happy that Netflix is bringing awareness to such an important topic, but there are other ways. To make a movie portraying a young girl in the throws of Anorexia is not only triggering to those who suffer with the illness (or have suffered) but you are right – it glamorizes the illness and quite frankly, gives young people ideas about something that is so utterly painful and destroying. Anorexia (and other ED’s) destroy your mind, body, and soul and I want nothing to do with that film and am dreading seeing more about it in the days to come. I have Netflix and I am going to have to steer clear. I worked so hard to get where I am, and I don’t want a movie destroying that, because it does hold that power even for those in recovery.
    Congratulations on your blog btw! What a great accomplishment. This blog is one of my favorites and I always look forward to reading it because I can relate to much of what you say. Keep at it! xx

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    • Thank you so much Claire, for sharing this thoughtful response. you’re so right – it gives people a false sense of “knowing” what it was like. For example…the way they joked about her knowing the caloric amounts on her plate in the beginning of the trailer. That made me SO ANGRY, and it’s because they just made light of it and now people think that they “know” all about what it’s like. “Oh, they’re really good at knowing calories.” But what they *didn’t* show was the not-romanic side of it – like when you can’t sleep because you’re going over and over the calories in your mind, or at a restaurant where you’re crippled by the menu and having an anxiety attack, or at a barbecue with family and you’re freaking out about watching your family prepare the food and adding this and that to everything — where was THAT in the portrayal? You can’t just joke about one little thing, shed a little light on it and then become an arm-chair expert on the topic. It just makes me so mad, sorry to launch off into that, but your comment really brought that to light, so thank you for that. 🙂 I want to applaud you for getting to where you are, because you’re right – it take a hell of a lot of work, and you are a gosh darn warrior! seriously, rock on sister. I hope you can hear me cheering for you though the computer. Thanks so much for this. big big hugs to you friend xo

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  17. I just honestly love this so much. It seems that people will make movies or tv shows about anything that is “shocking” ​, and so many people are triggered by this. 13 Reasons Why has given people who haven’t struggled with depression or mental illness a way to feel involved and a way to say they “understand” but truthfully it just triggers and gives people ideas who really struggle! Thanks for sharing this with us!

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    • Thanks so much Kourtney, for this thoughtful reflection. Your’e so right – there is a fine line between “raising awareness” and “perpetuating negative stereotypes and harmful content.” 13RW was the latter, and I’m afraid this will be too. Thanks for taking the time to read. big hugs xo

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  18. I think this is awesome of you for speaking out! I don’t know your whole story yet, but I am so sorry for you to have been triggered by the movie trailer. It seems that often studios and companies are out to make money without caring who might be hurt in the process, as was the case with “13 Reasons Why.” I am shocked and saddened they are doing a project in such bad taste again. Anorexia, suicide, and all mental issues should not be dealt with lightly.

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    • Thank you so much for this awesome response. you’re so right – those issues should not be dealt with lightly at all! You’re so right – Hollywood is in the money game, not the mental health game. It’s really irresponsible for them to take on real, life&death issues that people are struggling with — especially glamorizing them. Ugh, makes me sad. Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  19. I completely agree with you. I saw the trailer for this yesterday and felt so triggered by how much they’d romanticised anorexia and made Lily Collins look so romantically perfect in her ‘anorexic’ state. I’ve been recovering for about 6 months since a relapse in September and am doing really well just now but the trailer still made me catch my breath and miss the ‘security’ of being underweight. Thank you for your post: I seriously thought I was the only one who had concerns about this film. Xxx

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    • Thank you so much Lorna, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Yeah, I definitely share those concerns with you. Yes!! I couldn’t quite put my finger on why Collin’s depiction was so disturbing, and it’s because she was still “pretty and perfect” in her illness. Anorexia is not pretty. It is grotesque. I looked like walking death. Not aspirational at all. They made her look almost like something to aspire to. I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing well. Rock on sister. Know that I am praying and rooting for you. Keep kicking ED’s dirty butt!! 🙂 you got this!! big hugs xx

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  20. Okay, here I go..the minute I hear someone talking about being triggered by something they have watched or seen I get PO’d! I have not seen this trailer and probably won’t see it at all. But here’s the deal I’ve been working in the field of addiction for 26 years and in what world do people think they are living that they think once they get out of treatment they will NOT be triggered?? They answer is THEY WON’T. In fact, you are supposed to be triggered. If there something on TV or movie that you think will trigger you then DON’T WATCH IT. Have you ever seen a show called Intervention?? You and only you are responsible for your recovery not the world. If you are triggered then where on earth is the relapse prevention plan that you should have had in place when triggers occur? I recently commented about a Univesity who removed a scale from the University gym because someone with an eating disorder was “triggered” by the scale. The most ridiculous thing I had ever heard! First what about the other people who use the gym and second what happens when she goes to a dept store, is she going to have them remove the scales from there too. That is what is known as entitlement and self-righteousness I see it all the time especially with people in early recovery. I get on my clients all the time about this. Just because someone gets “sober” does not mean the world has changed; what it means is people have to learn how to live in the world they left as sober people; which is what relapse prevention plans are for. I do presentations about this topic, I see parents blaming others for their children’s relapses, clients blaming doctors for their relapses, etc. I don’t know when it happened but we have to get back to the time when people take responsibility for themselves and their recoveries. I have an article I’m working on about this very thing. A dear friend and mentor of mine passed away last year, he had over 40 years of recovery, what I call “old school recovery” when folks owned their stuff, took responsibility for themselves and their recovery, I miss him dearly he taught me so much; when he passed away I had a conversation with a colleague and we both agreed it will take generations to back to that kind of recovery.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective, Tammi. Lots of really insightful things here. I’m sorry to hear of the passing of your mentor. Sounds like an incredibly strong man. I can definitely see your point about triggers. You have to become stronger than them. And thinking back, I don’t think the actual “emotion” I was feeling while watching this was a “trigger” but rather, *anger.* It was the mama bear in me coming out and saying that this content was harmful. I appreciate your thoughts. big hugs x

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  21. The combination of “My right to artistic expression” and “My right to make a buck” has not been all good. I normally think of the never ending parade of perversion and violence that we are increasingly exposed to on screen but you have made me aware of another dimension to the problem. Good judgment in entertainment seems so passe.

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    • That is so true JP, thanks for that. Hollywood is in the money business, not the mental health business, and nor should they try to me because they just end up mangling up the topic and people in the process. thanks for stopping by! hugs xo

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  22. I have to admit, I saw the trailer when it popped up on my Facebook feed yesterday and I was disgusted. I was watching it, thinking, “I wonder what Caralyn thinks about this.” So I’m so glad you are addressing it!

    One thing that hit me the most was when Keanu Reeves’ character says, “I can’t treat you if you don’t want to get better.” And yes, I fully understand an ED patient has to be invested in her or his recovery if they’re truly going to recover. But am I wrong in thinking that that statement is somehow irresponsible? I didn’t see “13 Reasons Why,” but it made me think of what people have said about the school counselor who basically said he couldn’t do anything for Hannah. To me, the statement of Mr. Reeves’ character would imply to a vulnerable ED patient who sees this trailer that they are a hopeless case. Maybe they do, kinda sorta realize that they want to get better but they don’t know where to start. Wouldn’t that statement be off-putting to them? Or maybe they don’t want to get better; but isn’t this implying that they don’t deserve medical care unless they DO want to get better? To me, it sends the wrong message and is completely irresponsible.

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    • thanks so much! yeah, i definitely had to address it….too harmful not to. Yeah, that is a really great point about Reeves’ character’s statement. I had never thought about it — because there is a lot of truth that the sufferer has to want to get better. I actually wrote a post titled just that, “She has to want to get better” – because she has to want recovery….but I had never thought about how that may sound — like you said, do they feel they are a hopeless case? And I think my answer is that, though it may seem off-putting, the sufferer already feels like a hopeless case. I know that seems blunt and kinda heartless, but I really don’t mean it to be. When I was in my disease, I *did* feel hopeless. It was one of those things where I didn’t want out. And when I kind of did, I was too afraid to. I really felt utterly hopeless. So that statement, when said to someone who feels hopeless, actually becomes empowering. At least it did for me. It made me realize that i have the power to break the cycle and to change. Because control is a big thing with eating disorders and being told that I had the power to control the outcome – in a positive way – that was big for me. I don’t know if I articulated that the way I meant it, but I hope i did 🙂 i really appreciate that question — such a great thing to think about and mull over!! big hugs to you xox

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  25. In some cases, it is true that we can be positively inspired by a movie or any other type of artistic expression. But there’s hardly anything out there that is inspiring – most of it is self-destructive. Your account is an important one, I’m happy to have access to it so I know.

    I do like Netflix and there’s a wonderfully inspirational show there. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. This is the one and only show I can watch when in low spirits that will help me feel part of something hopeful. Give it a try! <3

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    • Thanks so much Milly, I’m really touched by your kind words. Oh really! I’ve actually never seen Star Trek, but with that kind of glowing recco, I’m going to have to check it out! big hugs x

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  26. Oh goodness girl, there’s a movie about this coming out??? I didn’t watch 13 Reasons because I believe they took it way too far.

    I think discussion is great. But I agree with you, I don’t see the point in showing the darkness. I personally believe shows/movies like this are for people who haven’t gone through the experience. I think it’s more about awareness, which is good. Awareness should be done, yes. But in this manner???

    The fact you mentioned the main actress did lose a serious amount of weight is troubling. The fact many people involved with this project have had an ED make me wonder if … this movie is a form of control to go back to ED (or relive it)…which is purely speculation, I truly hope this isn’t the case. I’m concerned why go this route? I’m concerned about those who have gone through it, to go this far into the mentality, and the joking …

    ED is very much about mentality and control, especially for this reason, I’m concerned moreso about this movie. Please send a letter to Netflix, and keep raising your voice!!!

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    • thanks TR, yeah, I so agree – opening a dialogue is terrific, but not when the result is more harmful than good. Yeah, my heart goes out to Lily Collins for having to take on that responsibility, especially she herself being in recovery. It just is not good. not good at all. thanks for your encouragement. big hugs xo

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  27. Congratulations on your award!!
    I have not seen either show, but I don’t think it’s healthy to glamorize any illness. Sorry it was such a trigger for you.

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  28. I’ve seen things I haven’t personally been through myself in movies and have felt incredibly disturbed by them. Often my thought is “Imagine how people who actually go through this feel while watching this.” I think Hollywood knows exactly what it’s doing – that is, playing on people’s weaknesses.

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  29. First, congratulations! So exciting! 💐💐💐💐 And second, it makes me want to cry. I have s many friends fight with overcoming this disease. I cannot believe ‘ thinspo’ is a thing. Or whatever they want to call it. Hollywood has done some dumb things, this ranks among the top 5.

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    • Thank you so much Kris! I really appreciate your kind words. Yeah, makes me want to cry too, to be honest. It’s so insensitive and yes – just dumb!! A *Bone* head move 😉 haha couldn’t resist 🙂 hehe but in all seriousness, i pray that it doesn’t do more harm than good. thanks for stopping by. hugs to you xox

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  30. Reblogged this on Jeffrey H. King's Blog and commented:
    This is an issue that screams for proper handling and care. Please take the time to 1) Read this entire article and 2) Re-blog it yourself, send people email links to it…whatever. These NetFlix productions cannot be rewarded in the marketplace. If you really want to know about anorexia and “starting a dialogue,” pay attention to someone who is officially one of the most highly regarded bloggers in the world when it comes to anorexia: BeautyBeyondBones

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  31. From a great high to the lowest of lows! All I can do is re-blog and echo your message.

    You might be angry about it, but talking about facts and experience trumps everything else. I pray that every one of your readers re-blogs tonight’s article and it rips through the internet like a wildfire.

    You always write good things, but I still say you are at your best when you get riled and battle for your fellow ED sufferers! You are in my prayers that, although you feel the triggers, God gives you His strength and love to turn your back on them!

    I remember the picture of you at your worst, and I’d never have pegged that as you. Having met you, I can say that you are a beautiful, healthy reflection of and voice for God’s power in your life. The strength of body and mind I felt was good, it was healthy. That’s the Caralyn I’ve come to know and appreciate. Feel the love and hugs from me and many thousands more tonight.

    And tell ED to go back to the hell it came from!!!

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    • Thank you so much Jeff. You’re so right – gotta just send those thoughts back to the fiery pit!!!!!!! Jeff, you are such a great friend and I so appreciate the compassion and empathy that you’ve shared with me. It really shows the depth of your character. God is good, and He uses you to encourage me more than you will ever know. Thank you for making me smile tonight 🙂 hugs x

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  32. If I’m not mistaken, don’t you have a past (and/or present) in show business? If that’s true, I’m just curious how would you see this through an actor’s eyes? You mention that the main actress and people involved in the production have ED history. Why do you think they are doing this project? It’s peculiar to me.
    Congratulations on being recognized for your amazing work. I hope that you remember us when you become rich and famous. And by us, I really mean me.

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    • Hi Brad, you’re right – I do have a present and past with show biz. I actually wanted to touch on that in the post too, but it was getting too lengthy. I’m a method actor, and so when I get into a part, I *really* get into the part, and so my heart just goest out to Lily Collins for having to subject herself to such a harmful head space when she herself, in real life, is in her own recovery from anorexia as well. It’s just really sad. Thanks for your kind words. And haha, thanks for that – it made me smile 🙂 hugs to you xo

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  33. Congratulations on the award! My blog is one of my favorites and I’m so thankful for all the good work you do and the way you do it.

    And yikes! “To The Bone” sounds awful. I will be avoiding it like the plague.

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  34. well isn’t that a load of shite. It’s getting harder and harder to find decent TV, let alone family safe TV, then they do this. I’ll be re-blogging for sure.
    I could recommend a couple of Netflix things tho, apart from The Bletchly Circle or The Crown; they are done with season one of Chesapeake Shores, which is (too losely) based on the Sherryl Woods series & about to release S2.

    Huge congrats on the industry recognition!

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    • haha, thanks Paula. Yeah, definitely a load of crap. it really is hard to find quality programming now a days. And thanks for the recommendations on Netflix! I will definitely check them out. I’ve actually seen a few episodes of The Crown and loved it! hugs xo

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  36. First, congratulations on the recognition of your blog’s importance and its place in the world of eating disorders. Even in the short time I’ve been reading you, I’ve come to appreciate that the recognition is a well-deserved kudo. Second, after viewing your “former” photo and listening to your framing of it, I am struck more deeply by your beauty – physical beauty, yes, but so much more the soul-deep beauty of one who has undergone, in your words, the “transformation of [your] heart, of [your] mind, of [your] relationship with God.” It has taken a short time for me to grow to love you in what I’ve come to understand as the Christian sense of that word: to value you; to appreciate that you have an essential role to play in God’s unfolding creation, even if that role may not always be clear and discernible; to appreciate that without your presence and witness in the world, my own life and the lives of all of us would be somehow essentially diminished. You are a gift from the heart of the cosmos.

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  37. Another case of $$$ trying to wedge in on an “awareness”. Instead they take that awareness and almost make it into an exploited stereotype. Its sad what companies will put on film these days all in the name of “compete”. Now with all these movie streaming services trying to lure everybody, its almost a rush job to make a film without their being any examination of its content whatsoever. Its like “how mouth dropping, how earth shattering, how shocking and shuddering can we be” to be the next big crazed hit that everybody is talking about and watching. Thanks for sharing your REAL story and REAL experiences!! You are a blessing and a light. You are beautiful, delightful and the real deal!! Hugs and love!!!

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    • Thanks Muiguel — that’s so true. Hollywood is in the money business, let us never forget that. And that’s such great insight – it really is a rush to put content out there, and they’re trying to outdo all the other “noise” out there. Enter dumpster fires like 13RW and now this. Thanks for your constant encouragement and friendship. you are the read deal, Miguel. haha hugs and love to you too!! oxoxox

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  38. Such a powerful post. Thank you for always being so honest and real in each of your posts 💜
    CONGRATULATIONS!! That’s so amazing and well-deserved!!

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  41. BeautyBeyondBones was ranked in the Top 25 Eating Disorder Recovery Websites on the World Wide Web!

    Congratulations on your work and congratulations on your recovery, Caralyn !!

    Reply

  43. Incredibly well said! I’m only 2 1/2 years in recovery from my eating disorder that I battled with for fifteen years, and it’s still super easy for me to get triggered and start listening to that voice in my head that tells me I shouldn’t eat, am fat, etc… But, I’ve learned healthy coping strategies and every day I work hard towards my recovery. One of the best things I have learned is that I have to eat… and eat every single meal. If I let myself skip even one meal, it becomes like a slippery slope that drags me down. I can only imagine not only how much this movie would trigger me, but others also in recovery or currently going through an active disorder. There’s ways to discuss serious topics and ways not to. This movie sounds like one of the ways not to. It’s so hard for people to understand who haven’t been through an eating disorder what it feels like and how everyday you try not to listen to that voice in your head, and how easy it is to be triggered.

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Know that I am cheering you on in your recovery. Way to go warrior 🙂 that’s so awesome about the strategies you’ve found. You’re right- there are simply some non-negotiable to staying on track, i can definitely relate to that. And yes! This was definitely an example of a way *not* to. Thanks for your encouraging words. Sending big big hugs xox

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  45. The moment I saw the trailer, I remembered you. I was thinking about what your thoughts were and oh my god, I didn’t realize that To The Bones is THAT bad! I was actually thinking of it as insensitive but I didn’t know it was so triggering!

    Congratulations though on your award!!! I’ll forever support you no matter what.

    Reply

    • Thanks Thea. Yeah, it was a really insensitive portrayal. My heart goes out to those young girls who are really going to struggle with it. Thanks for your kind words! I am seriously so touched by that. So grateful for your friendship! Hope you have a beautiful weekend 🙂 big big hugs xox

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  46. Congratulations Caralyn on the well deserved recognition and award. I am so thankful for you, and how your heart is so genuine, with your finger on the pulse of areas where people are hurting, or could be hurt. The direction Hollywood, film makers all over, and the world is going, is disgusting, and I don’t really even want to know what may be coming down the line next.
    I agree with the comments of a previous follower about feeling sorry for the actors / actresses in these roles. Their bodies and minds must be in turmoil and hurting all through the production.
    Anyhow, I shared thus great post on fb, knowing it will help some, and create more thought. Thanks again, and great congratulations again, you are awesome.
    How are your Mom and Dad doing? I are blessed having you, their AWESOME daughter there again.
    God’s Blessings to each of you.
    Luv 🌹😀
    George

    Reply

    • Thank you George!! Aw you’re so kind. I appreciate that 🙂 I think you’re right – Hollywood is definitely steering the bus down a slippery pathway. And yeah my heart definitely goes out to Lily Collins who had to play her. Especially because she battled anorexia in real life. So sad. Thanks for sharing this! Really means a lot 🙂 and thanks for asking. They’re doing well. We’re just all adjusting to the new normal and taking things one day at a time 🙂 how are you doing?? Hugs and love xox

      Reply

      • I am doing well, thanks. The body is just going through a tired stage again. But if I begin to feel down, or sorry for myself, I just need to consider that many others, including your Mom, along with my sister and her son, are a whole lot worse off.
        And then, seeing your blog a couple times a week is always a picker upper. Even when the subject written about is not, you are a highlight.
        Lots of luv and hugs to you.

      • Oh George, I’m so sorry that you’re going through a tired patch. Know that I’m continuing to keep you in my prayers. So glad that this blog can bring a little light to your day. that just brought a tear to my eye 🙂 much much love and hugs xo

  47. You go girl. Let them have it. Shameful and irresponsible. I do not watch movies or anything on that channel. Now I won’t for sure. I support your rant. I was surprised you held back like you did.

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    • Thank you so much Steve! Yeah super irresponsible if you ask me. Thanks for the support. Yeah I had to hold my tongue a bit. Didn’t want to get *too* heated haha thanks for taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox

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  48. Congratulations for being the top 25 on the WWW. Thank you for being persistent, and your preference to share your recovery, and being thousands and thousand of people to be aware of the issue. Perhaps IF you were born 50 years earlier (I like you being young and beautiful, I just try to make a point), Karen Carpenter wouldn’t have died young!

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  50. You are a woman ON FIRE! Go get ’em! it’s a human tragedy, not entertainment. Send a message – a scorched-earth approach to the advertisers and the distribution outlets for such nonsense.

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  52. Hi! This was such a helpful post about why the trailer was triggering. I’m writing a novel involving a character with Anorexia (specifically a relapse triggered by excessive stress) and I’m concerned about creating content that could lead impressionable girls the wrong direction even though my goal is to create discussion and compassion (specifically in Christian communities). If you have time, I’d love pointers on what tactful, respectful, and responsible portrayal of the illness would look like?
    Thank you for creating this blog and sharing your story!
    -Morgan

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Morgan, I’m glad this resonated with you. And wow, what an awesome thing you’re doing! i can’t wait to read your novel. it sounds like a powerful story. Way to go!! Shoot me an email 🙂 big hugs xox

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  56. Wow. I had no idea how brutal this disease can be. I knew it devastated families but I did’t have a clue about the true damage done to the individual. I know from personal experience that the power of God will always keep you. And I now realize the importantance of your blog. May the Lord continue to bless you in the great work you are doing.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful response. yeah, it is really a tragic disease, and i just pray that the glamorization done by this show doesn’t do more harm than good. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

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  57. Wow. I had no idea how brutal this disease can be. I knew it devastated families but I did’t have a clue about the true damage done to the individual. I know from personal experience that the power of God will always keep you. And I now realize the importantance of your blog. May the Lord continue to bless you in the great work you are doing.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Tony, I really appreciate your compassionate response. amen to that – God is always in our corner and will uphold us. Thanks for your kind words. big hugs xo

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  60. Hollywood and the producer of the film may not mean it to hurt anyone but to educate them. You have to really find out. I could nto,t stop until I finished the whole story. Thank God you have recovered from the disease, Anorexia.

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  61. Hollywood and the producer of the film may not mean it to hurt anyone but to educate them. You have to really find out. I could not stop until I finished the whole story. Thank God you have recovered from the disease, Anorexia.

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  62. You are absolutely right about everything you said here, and I’m truly sorry that this affected you so profoundly and who knows how many 1000s of others. Hollywood and the rest if the film and TV industry have a number of nefarious aims and objectives when churning out the toxic sludge that comprises most of what they produce, however the most despicable of those aims is the indoctrination of young minds. This is clearly aimed at , as you say, glamourising a severe mental disorder and corrupting young minds into believing that this is something to strive for. So in indoctrinating youth, they place them in the ultimate prison-their own minds. And if they have achieved that then that is one more step to ultimate control over everyone. When everyone is watching TV and absorbing the toxicity it emits, they are distracted from the real truths of the world. Which is exactly why people like you- in recovery or recovered or having found their true spirituality- are of no interest to them. You’ve broken free, seen the light and the real truths of our world and are trying to make others do the same. So they don’t care what you have to say, because they cannot further indoctrinate you, and if they can’t do that, they can’t control you. And so, you matter not to them. They cannot corrupt you. They don’t want to know that you’re outraged because they’ll continue merrily along with years and years of planned and prepared brainwashing and indoctrination. But you’ve found the real power and truth.
    What you do- fighting to make others see the truth and spiritual beauty of the world too- is detrimental to the industry’s (hidden) aims. So visual excrement such as this show and numerous others will continue to be produced and aired and broadcast into people’s lives and all we can do is make everyone we can WAKE UP. If you seek it, the truth is in plain sight.
    Wish you nothing but the best 😊

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for this powerful reflection. Such great food for thought here. you’re so right – I have broken free, and I am so grateful for that! You’re right, there’s a lot of garbage being passed around as “entertainment” and it’s important to remember the things that really matter, like love, and kindness and being good to people. Thanks for your wonderfully kind words. big hugs xo

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  65. I am horrified to read your description of this show. It sounds criminally irresponsible. I shall pray for you to stay strong, and to be aware every day of God’s love, and the beauty of the world He has created for us.
    Love
    Penny

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  70. This post was very well-written, and I want to express the admiration I have for your journey, as well as the passion you retain for our cause. I, too, have suffered from an eating disorder for nearly 10 years, which then led to an uphill battle with anxiety and depression.

    However, I have to say that I disagree. I think that people need to see what is real, and know the truth about these disorders. The use of trigger warnings, and hiding certain content because it is too realistic frankly has the potential to enable people to hide from their own anxieties and fears.

    I have been in full recovery for 3 years now, and yes, watching the trailer was difficult. BUT- it also helps me to realize and remember that I still have things to work on and that I still retain potentially adverse cognitive distortions. I think the same goes for others in recovery or post-recovery- If something like this is too much for you to watch, then you may have some more work to do on your state of mind. Which is a good thing- the ability to be introspective is essential to improvement.

    Do I think these two shows were romanticized? Yes. However, these shows did not instill the thought distortions and negative psychopathologies in the people who were so-called “copycats” of the series, or of the movie when it is released. These individuals needed help long before, and while the shows may have put an idea into their minds about suicide or disordered behaviors, this was only in addition to their previous inclinations. It takes a lifetime of experiences and a certain brain chemistry to build up to a severe mental health issue, not merely a 2-hour movie or series.

    And I do have to say- my family helped me get through my disorder with humor. I used humor to get through the hospital stays and forced-ensure. I cracked jokes about my cocktails of antidepressants and how my pill-cutter became more essential to have with me than even my wallet. Laughter is powerful, and I think it is okay to lighten the mood of a serious situation as long as you can remember and keep in mind that it is, indeed, serious. A smile is a hell of a drug.

    I understand your fears. I understand your outrage. But I don’t think that sheltering people from what is raw and true and hard to see is the answer. We can’t spend our lives walking on eggshells around what is difficult. A sheltered life is a lie.

    Reply

    • thank you so much for this powerful perspective. I really appreciate your insight on this. I think there’s a lot of truth in that – those inclinations were there, with or without a show about it. i just fear that it becomes just the encouragement they need to actually follow through. And to be completely honest, “triggered” was not the right word to describe my reaction to the trailer – it was more anger…the mama bear rising up in me to protect those who i know it will hurt. That’s so awesome about your recovery. i hope you can hear me cheering for you through the computer screen 🙂 hah And yes, humor has a lot of healing power. haha, oh gosh, i feel ya on the ensure jokes. priceless. thanks for your beautiful response. big hugs to you xo

      Reply

      • I actually only wrote this because my internet was on the fritz this morning and I wanted to see if it would work after I typed up such a long comment and didn’t see it haha- but thank you for responding to both!!!

      • Oh haha no worries! I totally get it. Yeah first-time comments just have to be initially approved before they show up 🙂 have an awesome weekend!

  72. They do anything for a buck! It’s this new society that believes that we are all individuals and that we should not care about what we do because We are all Independent of each other. NO! We are all interconnected. Our behavior, good or bad, affects those around us. When our behavior hurts someone else, it’s not rights, it’s license. God Bless you! Congratulations on your award. You deserve it. You have been blessed and are educating this society to be more human.

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  73. Congratulations on your blog’s success! You are providing awareness and encouragement to lots of people.
    Now for your opinions on “To the Bone”, never apologize for speaking truth, for it is Truth that sets people free.

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  74. Caralyn, congratulations on your award AND thank you for your eloquent expression of your faithful and righteous indignation. Yours is a clarifying voice of reasoned and responsible rage. Again, my thanks.

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  75. Congratulations on your award! ❤️You’ve earned it. I can tell you that your posts have helped me in my recovery journey. And I’m also glad you wrote this post. I always felt funny reading about “To The Bone,” because I knew about Collin’s struggle with anorexia. This movie could have been done right…but now it’s just another trigger 🙄

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Emily! Wow I am so touched by that. Yeah, it makes me sad to think about what this must have done to her own recovery. Praying for her 🙂 true true. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  76. Oh I am sending you so much love and Light. <3 I also want to congratulate you on being 10 years into your recovery. That's a big deal and huge accomplishment.

    I'm offering a complimentary online webinar today "Self-Forgiveness and A Healthy Body" @ 12noon PDT. You are welcome to join in. Very sweet event with keys to continue forgiving, accepting, and imaging positive love.

    Register here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/743a4cdca3fe34fa34538d7d4481ef37

    No worries if not. Just called to share with you and to serve. 🙂 BLESSINGS xo Debbie

    Reply

      • Thanks! It should be really beautiful. Sending you ever so many blessings. <3
        ~Love, Debbie
        ps – I plan to read a quote from a book by Marc David called Nourishing Wisdom, do you know it? Anyway he's affirming his relationship with his body and writes:
        "I recognize that at its deepest level eating is an affirmation of life. Each time I eat I agree somewhere inside to continue life on earth. I acknowledge that this choice to eat is a fundamental act of love and nourishment, a true celebration of my existence." -p 185

  78. Congratulations on being in the top 25. Keep shouting your message from every rooftop. As you can see people are coming along your side, keep going. Keep close to God and He will see you through.

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  80. I think the problem is inherent because movies are supposed to be entertaining, and there’s nothing entertaining about an eating disorder, so they actually end up doing more harm than good. It would probably be better as a serious docudrama with real interviews, etc.
    And congratulations on your award! You’re doing a really good thing here. Blessings.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Mel. You’re right – nothing entertaining at all. And frankly it’s just plain cruel to turn someone else’s suffering into entertainment. Thanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  82. Congratulations on making it to the top 25 on the web! Thank you for being bold enough to share your journey recovering from ED. I lived my share battling depression, over dieting and over excising to deal with my inner pain. That was in my 30s and I am now almost 55! I started to follow you so I’ll be visiting your blog often. A while ago, you liked one of my poems. Thank You!!!

    Reply

  84. Movies like this always make me cringe, and as a writer with a film degree, I’ve discussed and analyzed a lot of them. The stories are romanticized, usually at the expense of the struggle; you know, what it’s really like to go through an eating disorder or whatever else they’re talking about. It’s not exactly the same, but I get similarly irked when I see movies about cancer—especially if it’s billed as a comedy. There’s nothing comedic about watching your dad waste away, and fatal diagnoses aren’t romantic either, Hollywood. So all of that to say: there has to be a better way. I’m all for fostering conversations, but we’ve got to do it in a way that communicates real truth, and also honors those who have gone and are going through whatever the ‘issue’ is.

    Reply

    • thanks so much for this thoughtful response. you’re for right – cringeworthy for good reason. romanticizing and making entertainment out of another’s pain just is never okay. Gosh, that just breaks my heart about your insight on cancer. it’s so true – let’s be sensitive and honor the suffering of others. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

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  85. Glad to hear your perspective. While I’ve never dealt with ED or suicidal thoughts, my thought is this: why is another person’s misery entertainment for us? Shows like 13 Reasons Why and this new series you mention…I mean…a person’s sickness shouldn’t make us want to cuddle up with popcorn. Make sense? Hope so. Any who…congrats on your award! You’ve earned it <3

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  87. Congratulations on your award—much deserved! I was really moved by your post Like a Woman Scorned; you’re a great woman.
    Also, many thanks for liking so many of my posts—that’s very encouraging.
    God bless you.
    Pascal.

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  88. Have to say congratulations, and you should include that in your author bio when you finish your book. And wow, this is a tough one. I don’t know what to think of Netflix now. I’m hesitant to pass judgment on a movie or tv series, because some shows have been controversial at first but ended up creating awareness and being helpful to some people. Over time, will this be one of those cases? I hope so. But this is an inauspicious way to begin. I think you are right to avoid anything that triggers you. It’s a strange sort of seduction that some girls are vulnerable to, as you know better than I. When your book is published, it should definitely be made into a movie or TV show to correct the shortcomings this one seems to have.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much David! Yeah, to be honest I’m pretty disappointed in Netflix right now with their recent negative portrayal of mental illness in 13 Reasons Why, and now this. Oh gosh, thanks for saying that. I am truly touched 🙂 big hugs to you xox

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  89. Congrats on making the Top 25. But even more, congrats for standing strong, for making a difference with your words, for educating and sharing and exuding compassion. You are one strong woman with a strong voice. Keep using it.

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  90. Wow! Lots of comments, What can I add? Well, first, congratulations on your Top 25 ranking. It’s well deserved. Second, I agree with your comments 100%. My daughter suffered from anorexia while she was in grade school and there’s absolutely nothing funny about it. Thanks be to God we stumbled on the right combination of therapist and nutritionist. Today she is just days from having her first child, something none of us thought would ever happen. God is good!

    I suffer from a similar disease, alcoholism. It’s also progressive and potentially fatal. As of this week I haven’t had a drink in 26 months (but who’s counting?) I can’t tell you how much I admire you for fighting this terrible disease and for having the courage to share your struggle, something I have a hard time with.

    God bless you and keep up the good work.

    Reply

    • thank you so much!! And gosh, I’m so sorry that this resonates so personally with you. You’re right – absolutely nothing funny about it. Amen to that – I’m so glad that she is doing well and living in freedom! and having children!! God is good! Thanks for sharing your story. Congrats on your sobriety! That is such an accomplishment. And hard work. Cheering for you 🙂 big hugs xo

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  91. 🙂 Congratulations ! You totally deserve that award! your blog is wonderful and so is your spirit x thanks for the words of warning on To The Bone, I’m sorry to hear you were triggered but I really respect you for speaking out on it and value your words x Em

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Em! Gosh I am so touched by your kind words. Yeah, it was a really insensitive portrayal. My heart goes out to all those girls who are struggling and see it. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  92. Thanks for being a passionate and compassionate voice for this issue… Truly, I believe the hell you went through will be heaven’s life line for so many others. And congratulations on your top 25. Well deserved. Praying God opens many doors for you, and grants you divine favor in entering them! M. A.

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  94. You hit the nail on the head with this. Thank you for speaking up. I found no part of that trailer funny, and I find it disgusting that a disease that kills people is made out to be the star in a comedy movie. People like us just need to keeping speaking out about the reality of eating disorders – that way we can raise accurate awareness about them.

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  95. Amen, Big Congrats On Your Award! You Deserve All Of The Prosperity Coming To You 🙏🏾And Thank You For Being A Supporter Of My Blog, I Appreciate The Love You Spread!

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  97. I TOTALLY agree with this. When I first saw the trailer for “To the Bone” it instantly brought back the nightmarish flashbacks to when my life was stolen by anorexia. This movie will not only cause mental anguish for those who are struggling with this illness but it is also adding to the stigma that surrounds eating disorders, especially anorexia. Commodifying the horrors of mental illness is exploitive and disgracious to its sufferers.

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    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection. I’m so sorry it hit close to home with you too. Yeah you’re so right – it’s perpetuating the stereotype. Thanks for sharing your story. Cheering for you:) Hugs and love xox

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  98. My jaw hit the floor with this trailer. How can they get so much wrong? I do want movies and shows and books and articles that talk about mental illness and eating disorders and all of the hard things, but these issues should never be glamourized or made light. I don’t get it.

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    • Thanks so much Marie. Yeah, sooo much wrong. It just makes me so sad. You’re right – a dialogue is important but this was NOT the way to do it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

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  100. Congratulations on your Top 25 ranking Caralyn…your blog exudes so much positivity and inspires to the infinite degree. As for the Netflix show “To The Bone”, what can I say…that’s Hollywood for you. They saw how big of a reaction “13 Reasons Why” drew that they wanted to capitalize on that by exploring another problem in today’s society and glorifying it. They have no morals, only the $$$ drives their motivation. That’s all right, as long as we have you fighting the good fight and spreading your words through your blog, the message with get out. Fight the good fight until there is no fight left in you.

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    • thank you so much Mark! I really appreciate your generous words about my blog. yeah…Hollywood – in the money business and not the mental health business. very true – $$$ Thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xox

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  101. Hey, I admire your passion to educate on, and warn people about ED and its detriments. I have learnt more about Anorexia a nd EDs from your blog than from any other source. I agree with you, it is unscrupulous to use the influence of our platform to glorify and ‘promote’ detrimental and life-threatening lifestyles. Keep it up.

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  102. That’s not good, for you to be triggered.
    May you be strengthened. It’s powerful that you can speak to others about it (being triggered) –

    Congratulations on your award…

    Yes, leave that one behind…

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  103. If netflix wanted to create awareness it would have been a factual my story documentary. The means do not justify the ends. Thanks for being courageous and speaking up.

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  105. I saw the trailer of “To the bone”, and honestly I was disgusted. It triggered my ED SO MUCH even if I’m in recovery for several years now. I don’t understand how Netflix can use mental illnesses like this just because they know it attracts a lot of viewers. The thing is that people watching those movies will have a completely wrong view about how it is to have a mental illness. No, anorexia is not a beautiful skinny girl dancing in the rain or joking about her problems as you said. It’s depression, wanting to die slowly, it’s crying and shouting… Th