I didn’t want to write this post.
A topic of this magnitude, and the tragedy that befell our nation on Saturday was something that I cannot find the adequate words to describe.
I was asked by numerous readers to write about Saturday’s Charlottesville terrorism, and truthfully, I’m sick to my stomach thinking about the grossly pathetic and ignorant behavior displayed by the white supremacist group. And it shocks and saddens me to think that this benighted ideology is still present in our 2017-America.
And as I sat there, gape-mouthed, in horror at what I was watching on TV, the only thing I could think about was one word:
There is evil in the world.
This is not going to be a fun post. I’m telling you that right now. And frankly, I’m getting heart palpitations thinking about the direction I feel the Holy Spirit leading me, but Saturday was a wake up call.
This topic is going to make you uncomfortable. And if it doesn’t, well it should.
The devil’s greatest victory was making the world believe he wasn’t real.
But I’m here to tell you that he is real. And there is evil in the world because of it.
You all know that I was severely anorexic for several years. I starved myself down to 78 pounds. I was destroying myself and anyone else that stood in my way.
You know this.
But what I haven’t really ever shared was an experience I had at inpatient.
If you’ve read any of my early blog, you’ll hear me refer a lot to “ED” — which stands for “Eating Disorder.” It’s how doctors and therapists personify the disease. It helps to give the disease a face or a persona so that we can channel our fighting efforts and anger towards defeating an enemy: ED.
Well, I’m here to tell you, ED is actually Satan.
There. I said it.
During my disease, I was lying to everyone in my life – my parents, my friends, my doctors – that I did not have an eating disorder. I was lying about pretty much everything – from the food I was throwing away, to my exercise habits, to the “pain” I was supposedly having, to where I would go after school. Everything. For two years. Two years worth of lies and just this web of deceit had been stuffed away in my soul, blackening it like an aggressive cancer.
And one day during my therapy session at inpatient, I finally came clean to my therapist. About everything.
And I remember it clear as day. I was sitting outside on the patio with my therapist…we’ll call him Todd.
And I had my knees curled up to my chin, and I was sitting in a little ball, trying to be as small as possible, rocking back and forth. Shaking. And out of my mouth, came the ugliest, most cavernous, deep, dark voice I’ve ever heard – “I LIED.” I can’t replicate that voice. I have never heard it before, and never heard it since. My chest was shaking.
And the thing is, I was watching the whole situation from above. I was looking down and could see me and Todd and the umbrella and the brick patio on the grass. It was an out-of-body experience.
And I truly believe that through that voice, a demon was expelled from within me.
Because as soon as that breakthrough happened, I immediately wanted to call my parents and tell them everything. I needed to come clean to them. I couldn’t go another minute without telling them the truth. And then the following day, I accepted Jesus’ forgiveness, which was another incredible experience (that you can read about in my book, the week of August 28).
But why am I saying this? Why have I turned the focus on me, when there are people grieving in the world during this tragic time?
Because truth time: we all are capable of incredible evil.
Satan is on the prowl, and if you don’t believe that, then just take a look at any of the recent headlines. The horrific events of Saturday. North Korea. Manchester. Otto Warmbier. London. Stockholm. The Middle East. All of the nightclub attacks.
Evil is out there.
And what are we to do?
But, people, that just isn’t enough anymore.
We need to suit up for battle. Because we are living in a time of spiritual warfare.
And if you think this sounds radical, well people, it’s about damn time.
We, as a collective society, have lost sight of God. We’ve put Him on the back burner, letting other things become idols in our lives: money, success, lust, pride, fame – I don’t need to spell these things out for you. Simply turn on the TV for 2 minutes, and you’ll be bombarded by all the things vying to be #1 in our lives.
And when we take our focus off of God, we become targets for the enemy. The cracks in our foundation become his entrance point.
So we need to eradicate those cracks.
If we’re not actively pursuing God, and seeking out His Holy Spirit, then we become sitting ducks, just waiting to be F’d with. Don’t believe me? Just ask 78-pound Caralyn, circa 2007.
We’ve become complacent with society. And our silence allows cancerous cells like the white supremacists, neo-Nazis or other hate-driven radical, alt-right/left groups to swell.
We are one nation under God. And it seems we’ve let that truth be forgotten, allowing evil to seep in.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
We are the solution. We are children of God, and have the critical task of sowing seeds of His goodness and love, so that evil cannot take root.
Stand up to evil. Call it out. Call it by name. But that doesn’t translate to counter-hatred. We need to act with integrity and seek to understand rather than jumping to conclusions, or making up and inventing evil for political points.
Call out true evil – true hate.
Because it is real.
But it doesn’t have to win.
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