It’s been a really interesting time that I’ve been home here.
Like, really interesting.
To the point where, I have been just so caught up in the moment, and wrapped up in life, allowing my heart to be open…it’s almost as though I am a different person.
Let’s just say that for truly the first time, I am allowing my heart to be open and letting someone in and I have been so surprised how I’ve responded. I thought for sure that I’d be scared or keeping myself at arms distance, but honestly, it feels really good to let someone get to know me. The real me.
Anyway, that’s all I’ll say about that.
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I had a really fascinating experience last Friday.
I went to “the” bar in my hometown…you know the type…the one where everyone goes. The place you go to “bump into people” from your past, or just “be seen.” Whether you like it or not, you’re guaranteed to run into at least 7-10 people you know.
So I went there. Well, I was invited there on a particular evening. Anywho, long story short, my PSA for the day is that the Friday night before Christmas, be prepared to encounter your entire high school class if you’re out and about downtown. haha
But for real, I ran into, granted they were all young men, but probably – I kid you not – 45 guys that I hadn’t seen since high school.
Let me rephrase that.
I ran into 45 really handsome men from high school, all of whom, the last they had seen me, I was 78 pounds and deep in the throes of anorexia.
Puts a bit of a different spin on it when you put it that way, doesn’t it.
Yeah. I’ve undergone…quite the transformation.
But I’m not going to lie, the entire ride there, on the way to meet a particular someone, I was just sweating bullets, getting my undies all in a bundle about how people would react to seeing me.
And not in a narcissistic, warped sense of importance, but just a…holy crap, I feel like I’m having some sort of big reveal, a la extreme home makeover.
MOVE. THAT. BUS!
But I’ll tell you what. I’ve gotta hand it to these gentlemen. They gave me the warmest welcome.
“Caralyn ____________?!?!!! Oh my gosh, how the hell are ya!?”
Or my personal favorite, “Caralyn ________’s in the building!”
But seriously, I was completely accepted. Given a clean slate. Taken in as the young woman standing in front of them that night.
And I had an absolute blast. Didn’t want the evening to end, in fact. For a number of reasons 🙂
But coming home that night, taking my makeup off, brushing my teeth, I actually started crying a little bit – so overjoyed by the graciousness and love shown to me that night.
High school was a really hard time for me. I went from homecoming court/varsity soccer player/dating the football captain, to an isolated, lifeless shell of my former self, flirting with death, all on display for my high school peers to witness.
Those same peers that welcomed me with open, loving arms that night.
And it made me think. You know, life happens. For everybody.
Sure, I may have fought a very public battle against anorexia, literally wearing my issues on my body. But nearly everyone in that bar that night had gone through their own struggles.
None of us are immune to hardships or challenges, and the thing is, we’re all bringing different baggage to the table.
And talk to a person long enough, and you’ll realize that there are a lot of different levels to a person. Most don’t meet the eye.
But it turns out, it’s those levels that make us who we are.
It’s those levels and layers that shape us into the people we are today.
And everybody’s got ’em.
I’m so grateful to those guys for offering me a clean slate. For letting me be the woman in front of them, rather than the girl they remember.
Because let me tell ya, the young woman in front of them is fun. She is goofy. She is whole. She is continuing to heal and accepting herself more and more every day. And gosh da she has a lot to offer 🙂
What a way to welcome 2018. Out with the old and in with the new.
Sounds like a great 2018 slogan to me 🙂
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