Recovery-Positive Resolutions

Happy New Year friends!

I hope you rang in the New Year in style 🙂

I was nursing a pretty bad cold, so mine consisted of watching New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, hot tea, and a face mask 🙂

It was actually a really nice change of pace. NYE in NYC, as you can imagine, is quite the ordeal.

But watching that show, I was really struck by something. Nearly every commercial was about either a gym or a diet plan. Even the program itself, New Year’s Rockin’ Eve – was     sponsored by Planet Fitness. But seriously though, if I have to listen to Oprah talk about how much she loves bread one more time…

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But obviously, January is typically the month that people devote to their health. So naturally, working out and watching what you eat is a logical progression. And advertisers take full advantage of that. And actually prey on our insecurities.

But if you are someone in recovery from an eating disorder, this can be a particularly difficult time of year.

And I just want to pause to say that this post is going back to the root of my blog. So if you  or a loved one are struggling, this post – along with my book, Bloom – may be something worth passing along.

Remembering back to my early days in recovery from anorexia, the holidays were always one of the most difficult times. Not only is the entire holiday about food and sweets and indulging. But there was also the constant scrutiny of family and loved ones. A time that should be filled with joy was instead clouded with anxiety and fear.

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And then, afterwards, the entire world shifts to being suuuper body-focused. Obsessing about diet, working out, and weight loss.

Ask anyone their New Year’s resolution, and 95% percent of people will say either a) shed the Christmas weight gain, b) workout more, or c) eat healthier. Granted you will get that 1% oddball that will say something like, “Reduce my carbon footprint,” or “read more books” but those gems are one in a million.

I always remember getting so angry come resolution time. And looking back now, I realize that my anger was actually an ugly manifestation of lust and envy, concocting into negative energy.

But I so wanted to be part of that group that was trying to lose weight. That was my drug. I longed to feel the hunger pangs and work out until my feet bled. That’s what I excelled at.

But I couldn’t.

Because I was in freaking recovery.

But I just remember feeling like quite a loser, watching my friends jibber jabber about their new workout attire, and make plans to attend the group fitness classes together. I felt left out. And annoyed.

So, I wanted to just, first of all, say to anyone who may be feeling something similar, that you are not a loser. You are reclaiming your life, and every day you stick to your recovery is a victory worth celebrating. And even though other people may not realize the battle you’re fighting every single day, I see you. I see your courage. I see your perseverance. And I am in your corner, cheering for you.

But secondly, I wanted to offer a few alternative resolutions. Recovery-Positive Resolutions, if you will. So that when the conversation arises about resolutions -which we all know it will – you will have a kick-butt goal to share for 2018.

So without further ado….

Recovery-Positive New Year’s Resolutions

  1. I will speak kindly to myself, and give myself the grace and patience needed to bloom.
  2. I will begin each day with three gratitudes, remembering that not everyone has access to food, clean water, shelter, family, education, healthcare, etc.
  3. I will stop comparing myself to society’s unnatural and skewed standard of beauty, and instead focus on the beauty of my heart, mind, and spirit.
  4. I will celebrate my imperfections, because I am a beautiful work in progress.
  5. I will celebrate nourishing my body and giving it the fuel I need to study, laugh, dance, socialize, live.
  6. I will be gentle with my body, and refuse to listen to the Voice of ED that taunts me to destroy my body through overexercising or restriction.img_2435
  7. I will begin and end each day in prayer, remembering that Jesus is my best friend and helper, and that He rejoices in the fact that I have chosen life and am embracing recovery.
  8. I will chose to communicate my feelings and fears and struggles with my family/friends/therapist, instead of engaging in ED behaviors.
  9. I will do (at least) one spontaneous, fun thing every single day, simply to celebrate being alive. ((This can be a dance party to a Justin Bieber song, taking a bubble bath, calling a friend, sending a silly Snapchat, etc.)
  10. I will choose to love the beautiful (yes I said it!!) young woman staring back at me in the mirror, because she is a freaking survivor, and has so much to offer, is loved by God, and is worthy of an abundant life, in every way possible.
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OK, that’s all for now. Time to watch The Bachelor!! It’s one of my joys for today 🙂 hehe

Remember when my friends wanted me to go on the show! Oy vey. Dodged a bullet there. Maaaaybe one day if Ben Higgins is ever the Bachelor again 😉

And quickly, I just wanted to thank everyone who has sent me a note about how much Bloom has meant to them. I seriously have to hold back tears, reading some of your letters and emails. I was praying for you when I wrote the book, and I continue to pray for you as you make your way through it 🙂

Alright, Happy 2018 friends. Cheers!

***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY!

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A big thank you to my sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

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190 responses to “Recovery-Positive Resolutions”

  2. Great blog. I have just endured the worse christmas i have ever known. From not seeing my daughter enough through to freaking out about my christmas dinner. Ever since christmas day i been restricting pretty bad, its like the voice in my head wants to punish me for daring to think about having a decent meal. I just wish i had the courage to attack the voice and just go against everything it stands for. I just wanted to thank you for the steps you have offered in this piece. I just need to find the believe deep inside of me…….

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    • Thanks Matt, i really appreciate you sharing what you’ve been going through. Gosh I’m sorry that this Christmas was challenging. Fight that voice. You are so much stronger than it. I believe in you friend. Hugs and love xox

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  3. “I will celebrate my imperfections, because I am a beautiful work in progress.”
    love love love. these are the resolutions of TRUTH and WHOLENESS. these are the resolutions of the truly courageous. 💙💙 thank you as always for your words. i love them.

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      • ahh honestly honored that you even replied. so much love and hope and strength to you in this new year. 💙 if you’d even be willing to read my blog, i’ve just written about the new year and creating our own beginnings, too. 🎉

      • you’re sweet to say that 🙂 absolutely! i’ll check it out right now! Hugs and love xox

  4. Those are awesome resolutions and I commend your will, desire, and motivation to conquer the trials and tribulations that have come your way in life. Keep writing, keep smiling, and keep being you and every New Year will be a start to a bigger year. “The strength of a woman is one that can’t be measured”, I don’t know where I heard that but after reading your post that’s the first thing that popped in my mind lol. God bless and Happy New Year!

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    • Thank you so much Michael! This is such a kind comment. I love that quote! Big hugs and Happy New Year! 🎉

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  5. You are amazing.
    I would like to add, that I believe EVERYONE on planet earth could use those 10 New Year Resolutions you listed ;-)… instead of going into frenzies about diet, exercise and health. Even people who are overweight (myself included) can’t make the weight loss last unless they too, love themselves. Overweight and obese people are in a way in recovery too and could learn a lot from you. You Rock!
    With love from Tokyo.

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    • awww Lene, you’re so kind to say that. thank you. yes! let’s make the resolutions to be whole, mind, body and spirit! And love ourselves! 🙂 I think every person is recovering from something. And we all need a little love and support for the journey 🙂 so glad you stopped by! big hugs xo

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      • Indeed – we are all recovering from something.
        Jeff took me on as his student 😉 – I want to write my novel… that’s one of my new year resolutions 🙂 So thankful.
        Have a great 2018!
        (By the way, your book isn’t available on amazon Japan. Usually “book depository” ships books to Japan (via amazon) from UK, if that helps).

      • Oh nice! And Thanks for the heads up! Yeah it’s only sold through Blurb, but there’s international shipping! 👍🏼 have a beautiful night!

  6. Honestly, the diet and gym commercials make me crazy. Guilty as charged, I too need to lose the weight but have a solid medical reason to do so. Best wishes for you and your family for 2018. 😎👍🏻

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    • Thanks John. Yeah, there’s an onslaught by the diet/fitness industry come Jan 1 🙄 Same to you, friend! Happy New Year! 🎉

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    • Thanks Tony! Yeah I would have to agree. I applaud her positivity. It sometimes it’s like…enough already! Haha Happy New Year! 🎉

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    • thanks so much ashley! i would definitely have to agree 🙂 yay for positivity! Hugs and love xox

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  10. Awesome resolutions, it’s really encouraging to hear there’s others out there who’s resolutions don’t revolve around triggering fitness and health plans. Thank you

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    • Thanks so much friend. Yeah definitely quite the triggering time of year. Let’s reclaim it! Woo! Sending big hugs and Happy New Year! 🎉

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    • Thanks friend. Yes! I definitely could use more of #9 too! Hugs and love xox Happy New Year! 🎉

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      • I spend so much time planning ahead and charting that I fear I’m losing at least some of the joyous fun in my life. It’s too easy to get lost in the daily grind. I think that’s what I want my self-care to be focused on this year: keeping joy in my day to day life.

        Much love, light, and laughter to you as well in this new year!

      • Yes!! that’s such an important aspect of self care. 😘😘😘😘

  15. Absolutely enjoyed reading this! It actually amazed me to come across this read because I actually had an eating disorder some time ago and the only ones that know about it are my wife, my mom & dad, and my oldest sister. I use to be ashamed of it but I no longer am. I haven’t been for a while, however, never made it a topic of discussion. I look forward to reading more of your post! Thank You! 🙂

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  17. Great resolutions! I agree with you about Oprah. It’s like, “we get it already, you love bread!” LOL. Happy New Year!

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    • Thank you so much Leigh! hahah we get itttttt 🙂 hahaha have a beautiful and healthy new year! Hugs and love xox

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  18. Congratulations on your recovery, on your resolutions, on your ongoing victories…and thank you for your gift of sharing your journey. You are a blessing to more than you’ll ever know!

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  19. I’ve been sober since Nov 15. During the holidays i wanted to disappear. So o locked myself in my room and worked in things that made me happy.

    Cut to late Dec- a guy i met in rehab messaged me, to say hello. He had relapsed over the holidays and had to go back to rehab.

    So my New year’s resolution is to do what makes me happy and keep me on the right path.

    Hopefully my friend can do the same.

    🙂

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    • Thank you so much for sharing that. Congratulations on your sobriety and making it through that holidays. That is seriously something to be proud of. I hope you can hear me cheering for you from my side of the screen! Hugs and love xox

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  20. Love this post! Your resolutions resonate with me! Your post reminds me of Mandisa’s song “Unfinished”
    Jesus started something good and I’m going to believe it
    He started something good and He’s gonna complete it
    So I’ll celebrate the truth
    I’m just unfinished…

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    • Thank you so much Nita! I’ll have to look that song up. Sounds awesome! Hugs and love xox

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  22. This is such a great post! I love everything about it…and like many others, really enjoyed the resolutions. I’ll be sticking to a few of those myself!

    Happy New Year!

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    • Thanks so much! Glad you thought so! Happy new year friend! Hope 2018 is awesome! Hugs and love xox

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  23. What a beautiful post. You are a beautiful and attractive young lady. I can’t believe you have ever compared yourself to society’s standard of beauty. I really don’t know what the standard is these days. Usually around this time of year, I just tune out what others are saying. Come on, there is more to life than trying to lose weight every January. By the way, I am that 1% oddball who resolves every year to read more books than she did in the previous year.

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    • Thank you Karen! Gosh, what a kind thing to say. I am touched. And for the record, I don’t think book lovers are oddballs at all! (It was for comedic effect) 🙂 in fact, I wish I were more of a reader! Thats secretly one of my resolutions too:) hehe have a happy and beautiful and healthy 2018!! Hugs and love xox

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  24. Yay! Happy to find someone like-minded on this topic. I think it’s terribly important that we all change the mindset about goals to avoid all of the shame that accompanies unattainable standards. Kudos!

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    • Thanks Amy!! Yes! Let’s embrace the beautifully imperfect works of art we are!! It’s what makes us who we are:) big hugs to you and Happy New Year! 🎉

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  26. Ok – I can’t take it. Was it accidental, you wearing that exact pink shirt against that exact pink dress in the painting? I can’t place the painting – it’s hauntingly familiar. I would guess inspired by Cassatt or Monet? There’s got to be a story there.

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    • Haha I did stand there for the aesthetic of it all 🙂 hehe guilty as charged. Not sure about the painting. I’ll look into it tomorrow and let you know 🙂

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  27. Your blog is always such a pick me up, so positive and constructive and beautiful.

    I love that list for so many reasons. I believe in prayer, first thing in the morning. I believe in gratitude, being mindful of how very lucky I am. And as far as forgetting society’s skewed standard of beauty? AMEN! As a father, I am all about that.

    Hey, if you and Ben were to get together, you would have to add another B to your blog!

    Peace

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    • Oh gosh what a kind note. I’m so glad you think so! Yes! Let’s rewrite the definition of beautiful! Haha quadruple B!! Hehe Happy New Year! 🎉

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      • I am the million to one you spoke of that read books and try to find more next year. Maybe it was facetious. Maybe. You know what they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say…

      • Awesome! haha, yeah i definitely said it for comedic effect. i wish i were a reader. i really admire those who take time to read. more power to ya! Hugs and love xox

      • There’s a point there. It’s reasonable to see that our positions really dictate how much of everything we have to spend especially time. I could, if I had an apartment buy a french press and enjoy the making of coffee as much as paying eight times the amount at the coffee shop. I do not receive eight times more time back but there is value in this simple luxury. Maybe that’s why yoga retreats are sparse and out of the way. The luxury, comes from living like me. Living, without which is strange that so many within my group look up for a leader rather than create the person they were meant to be. There is no path for those in my class other than labor. The labor of making others rich. Not to say that anyone within the upper classes are not looking out for everyone. They too, are bound to certain limits that keep things more apart than together.

        There is a kind of arrogance with knowledge much like vanity if I’m not careful. It is fed much like the fitness hype you mentioned. I asked a few fitness models if they developed their minds like their bodies. They all said no. Such is the real life fallacy that what we see is not what it seems. I look like, a dope. Until, circumstances require me to be otherwise.

      • Meh. It’s life. How can one wish for better if they have not defined the present. The limits. The small joys. The heartbreaks.

  29. Such a wonderful, inspirational post! I think that is the best set of resolutions that I have ever seen. I hope your new year is blessed!

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  30. I suppose it’s a good thing to make resolutions. How else could we break them if we didn’t? I like to do an audit of my days activities and think of the mistakes I did make before going to sleep. My resolutions are made then and when I wake up I try my best to do better and not repeat them. I do need that daily audit. 🙂

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  31. Beautiful! Happy New Year Dear …recovery-positive resolutions: all about positive attitudinal change with commitment to be grateful for life of living. 👍👍

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  33. I too sat at home on NYE with the flu, but I didn’t mind too much. 2017 was the year I didn’t really feel like to celebrating anything. Hopefully 2018 I can. I love your resolutions and your candor. Keep it up! Love your posts!

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  36. Just a small niggle. Medically speaking, at least here in the UK, ED means erectile dysfunction. This could be a pond difference.

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  41. Great post! I liked “I will celebrate my imperfections, because I am a beautiful work in progress.” the most, this one stood out to me.. Thank you!

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  42. First, I kinda wish we’d had a glimpse of your face mask to go along with that green facial from weeks ago. But you weren’t feeling well, sooo… Comments at Patreon!

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  47. First I wish and pray for you to have a wonderful 2018 with all the hugs and love I can send. I also send wishes that you feel better and can stay warm in this cold winter we are having so far. Sounds like you were in the best place for celebrating NYE in NYC. Unless you had a kewl indoor location to go to that is. I’ve been told that the whole Times Square thing is best watched on tv, and that its not as fun as it looks to actually attend, and thats on years when its NOT 5 degrees or what that they have this year. I don’t think its fair to the performers to have to go out in these temps and put on a show. They really need to go back to the way NYRE was say before the big Millenium year when the performances were at different ballrooms around town. And Steve Harvey’s show over on FOX? They were better off with Pitbull down in Miami (which is what I mostly watched over the past couple years). I tuned in to SH’s show and they seemed to be doing more humor than performances and the jokes were STUPID!! If Fox wasn’t content enough with the ratings for Pitbull’s show, I can’t see where Steve Harvey’s really made a difference. Personally it would probably help if Pitbull put out a new album with a new tour and what. Then he’d be more “significant” to more people, and more might tune in. Yes, the THRONGS of NY Resolutions adds just want to make you kick the screen. Your resolutions are the best; more love and light. That’s what I send you! <3 <3 <3 Feel better! xoxoxo

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  48. Beautiful indeed!!!! God bless you and keep you and continue to strengthen you through it all! He is in control! Happy New Year hunny!!! Xxoo much love from ya girl here from de Caribbean lol!!! 🙏💗🙌💕🎉✨💃🌞🌊🇹🇹🐚🐬

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    • thank you so much Tammy! Oh man, with -3 degree temperatures right now, I wish i was in the Caribbean with you!! haha happy 2018! Hugs and love xox

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  49. I love your resolution, it is very genuine. Though, I don’t and haven’t suffered anorexia (I’m not sure if “suffered” is the correct term) but I can relate to the weight loss bs. I’ve been petite my whole life, unable to do “normal” things like donating blood, joining the military, etc. and people always telling me I have nothing to complain about because I’m skinny. There’s a lack of recognition for those who are body shamed when being skinny.

    I wish you the best during 2018. Those who endure, conquer

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    • thank you so much for sharing your story. yeah, we should see people, not bodies. happy 2018! Hugs and love xox

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    • Thank you Von, that’s nice of you to say. hope you have a happy 2018! big hugs to you x

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  53. Oh, Caralyn, I love your heart and your boldness and desire to help others through your journey. God bless you and Happy New Year!

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    • oh Terese, thank you so much 🙂 what a kind thing say! God bless you and yours as well in the new year! Happy 2018! Hugs and love xox

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  54. Caralyn, thank you for sharing that, it was truly eye opening. We never really know someone else’s struggles which is why it is so important not to judge. I think God has truly gifted you with the ability to speak to this population. God Bless you in 2018…may you prosper and be in peace.

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    • thank you so much Jackie. what a kind thing to say! Same to you! I hope you have a beautiful and happy 2018! xox

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  60. I have a lovely friend who also suffered from anorexia, and she too wrote a book about her struggle. Our associates need to be encouraging. Negative friends bring negative results and make the journey that much harder to finish. Keep the faith!

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    • thanks so much for sharing that. you’re right, encouragement is so important, because so many people are fighting silent battles. big hugs to you x

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  63. I gotta hand it to ya, Caralyn. You sure sound different than the ‘beginning 2017’ person ready to throw 2016 in the toilet. I wouldn’t ever want to be that person, you know, the one so up-and-down like that. I don’t know how you handle your emotional roller coasters! I mean, even just between the beginning 2017 and 2018!

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  64. We’re all always in recovery from something. No one is ever fully whole. So to treat others with the same compassion you think you deserve will turn the world into one worth living in. Thanks Caralyn. To share one’s vulnerability is the greatest evidence of inner strength.

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    • aw thank you so much! so glad you enjoyed the piece! i appreciate you passing it along! Hugs and love xox

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  71. Do you ever look back at this first post and marvel at how far you have come? I found this so inspiring today. You have done such an amazing job of recovery and you have managed to bring others along with you too. Well done Carolyn.😀

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    • Oh my gosh this touched my heart so much!!!!! Wow thank you my dear friend. Yeah – it really is quite something to see how far God has brought me on this journey. I am incredibly grateful, I certainly couldn’t have done it without Him 🙂 sending you so much love xox

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