[This post discusses topics such as suicide and sexual assault. We can all help prevent suicide. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.]
I’m sitting here and my hands are shaking.
I am outraged.
Honestly, this may be the first time I am at a loss for words. Well, maybe the opposite…
I just finished watching the second season of 13 Reasons Why. And I have SO MANY THOUGHTS.
I wrote about the show when the first season came out last year, and the title of that outspoken piece was called, “The Negligence of 13 Reasons Why” if that gives you any inkling of my position on the show. And I highly encourage you to read it before you go on.
But basically, as a refresher, it was a Netflix series, produced by Selena Gomez, geared towards teens, that all but glorified suicide. It told the story of a teenage girl, Hannah, who took her own life, and left behind these 13 cassette tapes that blamed 13 people as to why they contributed to her decision to take her life.
It was incredibly controversial, not only for the subject matter, but for the disturbingly graphic scene that showed her committing suicide. And then, after it s release, the tragic result of “copycat” suicides that occurred.
They claimed that they were setting out to start a conversation. I call BS, and shake my head at the sheer negligence and irresponsible decision making skills on the part of Netflix, as well as Selena Gomez.
So why, then, did I watch Season 2?
Because I wanted to be part of the dialogue. This show is having an incredible impact on teens and touches on a mental health topic matter that is akin to eating disorders, and so I wanted to know what is influencing our culture.
I’m going to just go out and say what needs to be said.
Do not watch Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why.
Don’t let your mailman watch it. Don’t let your dog watch it. But especially, don’t let your kids watch it. Do not expose them to the dark and disturbing images that this negligent show is impressing upon the viewers.
It is rated TV-MA for a reason.
I have just so many thoughts. So many thoughts. My brain is going a mile a minute, so I apologize in advance, this may not be as well put together as I would like.
First and foremost: The absolute most harmful aspect, in my opinion, about Season 2, was Hannah, the Spirit.
Yes, you read that correctly. Hannah – the main character who took her life in Season 1 – comes back in Season 2 from the afterlife and “interacts” with her love interest, Clay, to the point where they almost kiss.
This is just so problematic.
First, a little set up. The entire storyline of season 2 is the aftermath of Hannah’s suicide. The whole show is centered around a trial: her parents have filed a lawsuit against Hannah’s school, trying to hold them accountable for her death. So as a result, every kid/adult/teacher etc, on the tapes has to testify in this widely publicized trial. The news is covering it, people are writing blogs about it, the kids keep talking about her, and reliving the past, and obsessing about the details of her suicide.
Interesting story line, right?
WRONG.
This is just awful. Awful. This is hammering the harmful perception of “celebrity” or “notoriety” that can be so devastatingly influential to kids at risk of suicide. Season 1 was bad enough – that after her death, the entire school was still fixated with her death because of the cassette tapes. Now in season 2, they’ve included the whole city and internet, captivated by her death.
Couple that with the fact that Hannah keeps appearing to Clay, and having him profess his love for her, and conversing with her in his mind — it erases the lethality and finality of suicide.
When a person commits suicide, they are no longer alive. Period. There is no “Romeo and Juliet” love story that can occur between them and their crush. There is no more communication with friends. There is no more connection or physical touch. They are gone.
And this show – it is infuriating how carelessly and just blatantly negligent it is to portray the victim of a suicide, still communicating and having relations with their loved ones.
And then with the world – and media – revolving around her and the intricate details of that time before her death – it is making Hannah into the cover model of People Magazine, or the headline of Page 6, rather than AN OBITUARY WHERE SHE SHOULD BE.
I just can’t. I am so angry I need to get up and take a walk for a minute. Excuse me.
OK, I’m back.
This season felt like they were trying to tackle, head on, every single major issue facing teens today, in the most graphic and in-you-face, get-people-talking way possible.
There was drug abuse and addiction; rape; sexual assault; homophobic assault; teens “coming out” for the first time; gun violence; self-harm; homelessness; bullying; cyber bullying; vandalism; teen pregnancy; hazing; suicide; school shooting; heroin detox.
If you think reading that list was exhausting, imagine watching – in graphic depiction – those topics.
The most disturbing scene in the season was when this outcast boy was ganged up on in the boy’s bathroom at school. And this is a highly graphic description, so please be warned. The four jocks repeatedly slammed his head into the sink, and then dragged his nearly unconscious body to a bathroom stall where they kicked and beat on him while flushing his head down the toilet 5 or six times. And then finally, sexually assaulted him by repeatedly ramming a broom handle up his rectum. This scene lasted for two minutes. And it ended with him naked, buttocks exposed, lifeless over the toilet, with the top 12 inches of the broom handle covered in blood.
This boy would then go on to bring a rapid-fire assault rifle to the school dance.
I’m sorry for that description. But that is what this show was. It was horrific to watch.
And what made it so sickening to me, was that it was being targeted to teens.
It just makes me sick.
Selena Gomez is a producer of the show. Kids and teens worship her. They idolize her every move. They buy what she’s wearing, listen to her music, and watch what she slaps her name on.
No “TV-MA” rating is going to keep them from doing so.
Next, the other thing about it was that the show made it seem like this heinous behavior was normal. They were portraying that, every kid is excessively sexually active in high school. Making it seem that heroine addiction is a common occurrence, and bullying to the point of anal penetration with a janitorial tool is what happens at every school. Oh yeah – and that kids have unlimited access to guns and assault rifles.
They were depicting a desolate reality that frankly is not the norm. And making is seem like it is is SO IRRESPONSIBLE.
It makes kids think, “Oh, well, there must be something wrong with me if I’m not sleeping with 2 or 3 different partners in one night as a sixteen year old kid.” Or that they’re a loser for not drinking or doing drugs like the “cool kids” are doing in the series.
This is not what we should be putting out there for our kids to watch and mull over and think and talk about.
Sure, it starts a conversation, but it completely destroys them and their innocence in the process.
And yeah, kids aren’t naive. I’m not dumb. But it is just so disgustingly ironic – the behaviors and patterns that they are trying to prevent, are the exact same behaviors and patterns that they are perpetuating by glorifying them on their show!!
It is just so counterproductive. And harmful.
I turned off the show, and all I could think about was this one very specific thing:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
When I was in high school, I had this beautiful mosaic mirror in my bedroom, and on it was written that verse.
And after watching such highly disturbing material on TV for the last several hours, it was as though God was reminding me that I need to be filling my mind with pure, good things that point to Him, not the garbage and filth this world is producing.
That’s the thing. God was excluded from the dialogue. Hannah’s parents in the show were openly “untrusting” of the church and made that clear when they were planning her memorial service.
If 13RW really want to start a productive dialogue about those horrible things, why not include the one thing – the One Person – who can truly turn things around?
Arrogantly shoving God out of the storyline in 13RW does such a horrible disservice to anyone truly needing help from suicidal thoughts, bullying, self harm, rape, etc.
And the only other mention of God was by the student body president who claimed to be a Christian, but ended up literally having the word “HYPOCRITE” spray painted on the back of his car, after he lied about the rape.
God is not the enemy.
And perhaps, if we were to put true, admirable, pure, excellent material out into the world for teens to watch and emulate, the world might be a better place.
Filling our minds, and the minds of our future generation, with a bleak, disturbing portrayal of “teenage reality” does nothing more than throwing a cow into a field of mud and telling it to eat.
13 Reasons Why, you have been a detriment to our teens. And Selena Gomez, shame on you for endorsing this negligent material, when you know full well the impressionable age range of your fans. I pray that those watching will decide to turn it off, before the damage is done.
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320 responses to “13 Reasons Why: Watch Your Thoughts”
One of the hardest things I ever had to do was go to the funeral of a teen who completed suicide to be supportive of the other teens in my weekend ESL group. That prompted me to go through suicide prevention training. I could not agree with you more. Kids need to know they are created by and immensely loved by God and know their value. They don’t need to garbage 13RW puts out. I watched it to stay in tune with what young people might be watching. It was so draining to watch.
Oh my gosh that is so tragic. That was so good that you went to training. We need more ally adults like you – that have resources and a heart that longs to help those hurting at risk youth!! Hugs and love xox
“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
FRANK OUTLAW
Late President of the Bi-Lo Stores
Yes. Such powerful words. I wish we could all take them to heart. Thanks for reading, Mary. Hugs and love xox
Thank you once again for sharing TRUTH in the midst of so many lies that bombard us each day. “Look up!” — what an INCREDIBLE message of hope. Thank you God for Hope! Thank YOU for another great post. I look forward to all that you share.
Thank you so much James. Amen. We can always look up. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing/for bringing this into public light. I avoid such shows with a passion but when I hear about them, I am clueless. Your outrage is evident and I hope that it makes a difference as soon as possible. The negative images placed in front of young people is eroding our society. I know it was tough to write, but thank you.
Thank you Susan. Yeah this is definitely one to avoid I’m afraid. Thank you friend. You’re right – eroding society. From the youth, up. Hugs and love xox
I already commented from my story blog, but I feel worked up about this. There is a concern about contagion meaning if one kid attempts or completes suicide, it emboldens other kids to try. Teens have no concrete concept of forever. 13Rw in my opinion only serves to romanticize suicide. I hope all adults reading your blog pay attention to the teens in their lives.
Yes – the contagion aspect is very real and incredibly frightening. Same here. Hugs and love xox
Very well put. It is truly awful now what kind of “examples” and “images” are put out for all of us to, theoretically, digest and accept. This is a huge, HUGE topic along with all the other sensational and negative things in this particular story line……good to begin dialogue, yes, but bad to cloak it all the the same “glamour” (in the original meaning of the word) that is harming us all. People kill themselves because they can’t take the pain any longer. It’s hard for people to accept that, I know; and harder of course to accept when you think you are Alone, with no resource to turn to for sustenance and aid in dealing with that very pain- which of course turns out to be rather universal rather than separating…..
Thank you friend. You’re so right – it is such a HUGE topic with HUGS ramifications, especially for viewers at such an impressionable age. Such powerful thoughts. Thanks again. Hugs and love xox
I’m currently watching season 1 of 13 Reasons Why and I read the book when I was a junior in high school. That was almost six years ago. When I read the book I remember feeling the weight of everything displayed in the novel. I remember understanding more deeply how in life, the decisions we make, the words we say, the actions we do, especially the ones involving others’ lives, can have huge impact on someone else. I appreciate your post and I thank you for expressing the graphic-ness of the show before I continue, if I continue watching.
I see the importance and the desire the makers of this show had, but I also believe the reality and the brutality of certain issues do not need to be glorified and shown explicitly in some cases. However, if you take a show like Roots that violently displays the brutality of racism, slavery, and the misogyny of black women by slave owners America would not have a view of what really happened for 400 years. I do think this show intends to start a conversation between teens and adults. I would like to believe the reasons why so many scenes are graphic is because it is trying to force a generation to see the sadness (it’s affect on those left) of suicide as well as the cruelty of hate crimes. I have not seen all of the show, so my opinion of the show entirely can not be held in high regard, but I just wanted to share my opinion since I started watching the show a day ago. Maybe this opinion will change if I do decide to finish it, I don’t know.
I want to believe the show has some merit. I do, but I do believe the audience it targets is a malleable one that should beware of what they view.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I definitely agree – it’s an important topic, and a conversation is certainly important. I just wish they could have gone about it with a little less sensationalism and romanticism. Best of luck with the rest of the series, and thanks so much for reading 🙂 Hugs and love xox
I will have to watch it because I need to stay informed since I will be working with adolescents, but I agree with what you’ve written about the need for us to watch our thoughts, words, and actions. I read the book, “Perks of Being a Wallflower” several years ago, and I felt that story also tried putting in as many destructive issues in the plot as possible. Then I saw one of the middle schools promoting the movie by offering free tickets from reading the book. I was horrified because I considered the book way too old for middle school, and the small amount of positive influence was not enough to redeem the negative parts of the story/characters’ actions. But this is what sells now. It’s hard to find books that aren’t crammed full of edgy issues for young adults. It’s causes me to consider writing a different kind of book.
Thanks Melissa. Yeah I think that is wise. I have not seen that film. Yeah we forget how impressionable kids are at that age. We watch from with the filter of adulthood. It’s hard to go back to that headspace as an adolescent. Kudos to you for your work with them! So important 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Thanks for posting this Caralyn. I have been so tempted to watch this series for the same reason that you describe; to see what is being put out there. But I am glad that I read your post first, because I am positive it would not be an uplifting experience and I would probably come away with the same feelings that you have.
Thanks so much Kelli. No definitely not uplifting at all. You walk away feeling punched in the gut. Tough content. Hugs and love xox
Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite Bible verses, too. Sounds like a really awful TV program! You are right! No one needs to be watching stuff like this, especially teenagers, who at such an impressionable age.
It’s one of my favorite verses too. Thanks – yeah so impressionable. Hugs and love xox
Dreadful. I used to say that my kids faced 100 times more temptations than I did. Then watching my grandchildren, I believe they’re facing 1000 times more temptations. When I read something like this, I’m heartsick. Prayer, fasting, and helping the ones God brings into your circle (or the circles He pushes you into) is all I know to do. I keep hoping that we can change the culture just like the early Christians did. Thank you for standing on the watchtower to warn us all of incoming danger. I appreciate your standing up for all that is good, true, and beautiful.
Thanks friend. I keep hoping that too. Thanks for taking the time to read and for your kind words. Your encouragement really means a lot. Hugs and love xox
I remember your original article. I never watched the show, because I didn’t want them to record so much as one more viewer. I’d forgotten that they actually depicted the suicide. I’m reminded of a line from an old play where some kid was explaining why he included distasteful material in his plays. He told an older woman that it’s part of life. Her retort?
“So is diarrhea., but I don’ find it entertaining.”
YES!!!! It erases the lethality and finality of death! Brilliant! I was going to say no one is ever around to hear the tributes and professions of love. Just so happened I saw the funeral procession today for a retired fireman who was a giant in the South Houston community. Every emergency vehicle in the area was in the procession, lights blazing, that went under an American flag suspended over the road by two ladder trucks. I only hope he knew how much he was appreciated before he died! I’m sure his family were touched by the gesture.
Funerals, after all, are for the living.
Kids are shown in 13 Reasons how much they can enjoy the attention of suicide when nothing could be more wrong!
Romeo and Juliet; here’s an image kids could use. I saw a staging that had Juliet in the catacomb on the table. Romeo took his poison per the script, and just as he sank to his knees, he SAW HER HAND MOVE JUST AS HE DIED!! OOOOPS!! They completely missed each other, and even Romeo in that interpretation was let in on it in the cruelest way possible.
That’s death! That’s what kids aren’t being shown; the separation of it, the emptiness.
Caralyn, I’m pained that you were so upset by this, but it produced some great writing, great points exquisitely pictured. What you put yourself through produced something that I think must have an impact! Hugs!!
Wow what a powerful procession to witness in Houston. I bet that was so meaningful to his family. Youre right – that age group loves drama and celebrity and fame. It is so devastating to be so glorifying of it. Amen – the emptiness and separation. Thank you so much Jeff for this thoughtful response. I really appreciate your support and friendship:) Hugs to you and Julie!
Thank you for calling this program out, especially from a biblical perspective!
Thanks so much Matthew. Yes! “Whatsoever is pure!” Hugs and love xox
Yet another reason I’m glad I don’t have Netflix (although I hear their “Daredevil” series is incredibly cool)
In the late 1970s and early 1980s, I worked at a Suicide Prevention Hotline in Berkeley. My shift was from Midnight until 8 a.m. and I had the opportunity to share the sorrow and struggles of some very, very hurt people. I also went on to earn a Masters degree in Counseling, practiced in both public and private venues, and eventually became an investigator for Orange County (California) Child Protective Services. Yes, I’ve seen ugly.
I was also bullied in Junior High and High School. I won’t go into all the details, but in 1971 (yes, I’m that old) there was a massive race riot in the city where I lived. After a Homecoming game, I was jumped by six African-American men and beaten. One of them worked over my lower back with a bicycle chain. It was weeks before I could stand again.
I was terrified of African Americans for at least a year afterward. If it had happened today, my parents might have thought to get me into counseling, but back then, I kept the terror to myself and suffered alone. Eventually, it got better, but I still can’t let anyone come up behind me unannounced without jumping. Keep in mind, we’re talking about an event that happened almost 50 years ago.
I’ve felt suicidal. No, not in decades, but when I was a kid, I knew where my Dad kept his loaded handgun. One night, I took it out of the drawer, held it and looked at it. I thought about it. I planned it. I didn’t do it (obviously).
But there have been times over the long years since when those thoughts have resurfaced. I suppose it will be part of me until the day I die. Yes, God loves me, but that doesn’t mean He automatically erases the suffering of the faithful. That’s an illusion preached from the pulpit but not actualized in real life.
All that leaves a mark no one can see, and especially as a male in America, you can never talk about. You can never tell anyone, not even your family, that you feel vulnerable and alone. You can never admit that every time older people are attacked in social and news media, you don’t feel worthless and ashamed. The same for every time people of faith are attacked, or socially conservative people are attacked, or old white men are attacked. Every time a news article or a Hollywood hotshot takes aim at people like me, I wonder if they’re right and that I’m an obsolete fossil who has no reason to live.
But I do have a reason to live, and not just because of God. Whenever it gets bad, I look at photos of my grandchildren and remember how much they love and adore me. If I were to die, they would be absolutely crushed.
“So *bleep* the “cool kids,” the “popular people,” and the “celebrity causes.” If the people who I love most in the world think I’m worth it, and if God thinks I’m worth it, then those people who don’t simply don’t matter to me, or at least their opinions don’t. I am not the sum of my pain. I am the sum of my love and my being loved.
Well thought-out take on the way suicide is portrayed in the media. I have written on the topic myself and agree with you… the graphic aspects need to take a back seat to the personal pain it causes. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Eric. I so agree! Definite back seat. Hugs and love xox
Hi Caralyn,
As a Christian chaplain in a hospital and mental healthcare facility, as well as one who deals with BP2 myself, I know that suicide and suicidal ideation are real. It is part of my life and work and talking to people regularly about what drove them to want to take their own lives brings me often to the same answer, “I didn’t think anyone would miss me”, or “I was in the way”, or some similar thing. Of course, each of these people in the end tells me about a parent, a child, boyfriend or girlfriend, a boss or someone, who cares about them. “How would this impact them?” is my question.
Instead of glorifying or even trying to justify or place blame for the circumstances of this fictitious character’s death, which only makes it harder for the next teen girl to do the same when life gets tough for her, we need to show kids that
1. Life isn’t always fair
2. Life isn’t always easy
3. There is a price to pay for the things you truly want
4. God has a plan for you and He will reveal it in His time, which may not be yours.
5. Challenge yourself daily, because you can be sure that life itself will.
You are a remarkable young lady and an inspiration to all.
Love and Blessings,
Jim
Amen Jim. This is such a powerful response. Thank you. You’re so right – that’s the question to ask – how would this impact them? And amen – God has a plan. Thanks for this great response and thank you for the incredibly important work you’re doing with those families and individuals. Hugs and love xox
I’ve always thought about watching this series, but never got around to it. I’m going to have to check it out.
Thanks Sean, yeah it is highly highly disturbing. Sad that it’s targeted to teens. So sad
You are so right, again.
Thanks Elizabeth! Hugs and love xox
I think its a very strong tv show and kids should not be allowed to see it, but at the same time it shows the reality in schools, you may not see it but kids are bullies and its a product of imagination, parenting, movies… there are plenty of kids being bullied in schools and very few speak up, some talk, some get over it or some take guns to school. It is very easy to buy a gun these days. It is very easy to do drugs.
This show, althought very grafic and tragic retracts the cruel reality wheather we like it or not.
Those are really great points. There are a lot of hurting kids out there who sadly know this as reality. That breaks my heart. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for writing this. I also watched the first season to engage in dialogue with friends, but after reading this I will not be watching Season 2. I’ve been both the one with mental health issues and the one supporting a loved one with mental health issues, and from my experience I’ve learned that you can never blame these issues on other people. Recovery requires taking responsibility for your own health. 13 Reasons communicates the opposite, and just that thought can be detrimental to someone on a struggling road to recovery.
Thank you for sharing this. I started watching the first season a few months ago but just couldn’t get through it. Definitely not a show worth watching.
Thanks Leigh. Yeah definitely highly disturbing material. Hugs and love xox
As someone who has fought this suicidal battle for over 5 decades and countless times I have been into that emotional hole way to many times. Actually there is an art to surviving these kinds of thoughts. A close personal friend has asked me to write about it. I don’t know what I would do with it. All of those kinds of show are dangerous. Most human minds are not fully developed until around the age of 25. Given that fact why do people expect these growing minds to comprehend the seriousness of these issues?
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Duke. I’m so sorry that this show hits so close to home for you. That’s such a great point. And I just want to say how much I admire your courage in opening up about this. Your strength is inspiring 💛 sending so much love xox
It’s no big deal. I first did an interview with the local paper years ago and when I did it I knew it would go online. Lets just say I am much closer to 60 than 50 and if talking about it in public helps others then that’s fine. There would be one condition. I won’t sugar coat anything. As I tell people I will talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. Just name the time and place.
We need people like that!! We need to hear the truth!
Right on. Especially on God having a role to play. Remember the Lord’s prayer. Everytime we pray it we pray “Thy will be done.” And then there is Christ’s last words, “Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done” While suicide is not murder and therefore not a sin, disobeying the will of God is a sin. On the Grief journey you think a lot about joining your loved one by you own hand. You don’t because it might result in your not being judged unworthy to rejoin your loved one in heaven.
Thank you friend. Yes, Thy will be done. Always. Hugs and love xox
I’m a teen.. but I don’t like most of these emerging ‘teen’ books and movies.. And I thank God for that.
They’re more like modernizing the old barbaric practices civilization seeks to eradicate. Makes me wonder the contemporary definition of ‘civilization’.
Another thing is that since it’s widely ‘apparent’ that most youths are being controlled by their hormones, I’m not surprised that most (not really all) trending adolescent-themed books and films are ‘reckless’. Thank you for this post. That’s why I love BBB!
Thanks Haddon for sharing your perspective on this! So true – they’re modernizing the barbaric for sure. And thanks for saying that! So glad you enjoy my blog! Big hugs xox
I’m a teen.. but I don’t like most of these emerging ‘teen’ books and movies.. And I thank God for that.
They’re more like modernizing the old barbaric practices civilization seeks to eradicate. Makes me wonder the contemporary definition of ‘civilization’.
Another thing is that since it’s widely ‘apparent’ that most youths are being controlled by their hormones, I’m not surprised that most (actually not all) trending adolescent-themed books and films are ‘reckless’. Thank you for this post. That’s why I love BBB!
Very powerful post. There is, indeed, a major difference between discussing these issues and glorifying them.
Just a suggestion though…in the future, maybe you want to consider having a link to a list of suicide hotlines around the world, and not just having the US one? You seem to have a really large following and I assume a portion of those followers are from outside the states, so having a link to a list of international suicide hotline may be a great service.
Thanks so much Brendan! That’s a really great suggestion. I will research that and edit the post to include those numbers and links. Hugs and love xox
You’re welcome! Yeah when I did a post on the topic of suicide on my own blog, I only thought of this at the last minute, but was glad I thought of that.
✨💛✨
It is sad that people, including teens, will idolize people to a point where they will destroy themselves. Thank you for sharing and for shedding light on this.
Yeah it is heartbreaking. We don’t need the media to help them in doing that! Hugs and love xox
Caralyn,
I love your perspective! Yes, these things should never be glorified and the fact that they are in the media is sickening. I hope that parents realize the damage this show can do to their teenagers, especially at such a young age. May God continue to bless you as you share your heart and fresh insight to us 🙂
Best,
Laura
Thank you so much Laura. It really is sickening. We’ve got to pray for the young eyes that see this disturbing series. Hugs and love xox
And all eyes, really!
As someone who is currently living through the permanent-ness of suicide loss, I very much appreciate your post and I hope people will avoid this show. I don’t get to talk to my aunt again, see her again, communicate with her again while I’m on this planet, and the silence is staggering and the emotions are raw and difficult to wrap my head around sometimes. I also recently read a very popular young adult novel that uses suicide as a plot twist. Each time I hear about a misconstrued representation of the nightmare that is suicide, especially when it is geared towards young people, I am so heartbroken. There is a huge need for serious and respectful dialogue about these topics, not glorification and sensationalization.
I enjoy your blog very much, and am thankful you brought honesty and light to a very dark issue.
-Lorelei
Oh friend I am so sorry to hear that. My heart and prayers are with you during this devastating season. Thank you for having the courage to share your experience. My heart breaks with you Lorelei. Sending you so so so so much love.
I have mixed emotions about the series. It does depict issues that teens face, so in that way it can start a dialogue. However, it is extremely graphic and almost normalizes certain activities and behaviors. It tried to include every issue possible facing teens, but it was quantity over quality. Didn’t address the issues fully. I am not overly sensitive or easily triggered, but some of the scenes were too much for me. Thanks for writing this post!
Thanks Kaley for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah it was definitely intense and rather disturbing. But you’re right it definitely addressed a plethora of issues. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
It’s nice to come across others who are just as disgusted and heartbroken at this series/show! I did not see the first one, and I was not going to allow my children to. And they sure will not see the second one. This is such a sad thing and these kids honestly have no idea that the end means no more. I did not see the international suicide hotline number, if you’re able to share that when you get it appreciate it. I would love to repost.
Thanks Kammie I appreciate your thoughts on this. Yeah – it’s a tragic and final end. I will for sure do that! Hugs and love xox
I started watching season 2 the other day, but shut it off early on. After reading this, I don’t know if I could even handle it. I feel blessed that my innocence was still preserved in high school, as these things weren’t even a thought. I pray for our youth today.
Thanks Carly, yeah that was a good decision. It was so incredibly disturbing. Yeah I will join you in that prayer. Hugs and love xox
You know what? I am on episode 6 from season 2…I watch it alone with my wife, my kids are all grown, and I am angry and totally disgusted by all this…why? Because I suffer mental health , PTSD and everything I am seeing in this season is twisted and sick. I love everything you wrote and I approve 100% shaming Selena Gomez for producing such vague show, why is it done? We dont know but honestly when I was in high school it was my best year, not even half or close to what I am seeing in this show. I am in awe and hoping many parents will not allow their kids to watch this. I decided to watch it because I had already seen season 1, so I said what the heck….let me go for season 2, but all I am getting is angry and full of disgusts.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re so right – twisted and sick. It’s a tough watch for sure. Disturbing. Hugs and love xox
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xoxo 🙂 xoxo
Hey! Thank you for this much needed post. I just wanted to bring to your attention this Toolkit called “13 Reasons Why Toolkit”. It was developed by a group of top mental health professionals and bodies providing practical guidance and reliable resources for parents, educators, clinicians, youth and media related to the content of the series (suicide, school violence, sexual assault, bullying, substance abuse, etc.). I would appreciate if you could post this Toolkit in your blog post to raise awareness.
Link: https://psihub.blog/2018/05/21/13-reasons-why-toolkit/ and
Thank you so much Vikram. I will definitely post that resource. Thanks for passing it along. Hugs and love xox
As soon as I get home because I’m out right now!
[…] that is wrong with the second season of “13 Reasons Why” can be found at this link BeautyBeyondBones. Because the first season/show should have never been […]
thank you for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Hugs and Love to you every day!! God is SO forgotten in tv now. The 90s was actually a more attentive to God era. You had that show Touched By An Angel, and a kind of spinoff from it, Promised Land. Even a show like Walker Texas Ranger had many themes that pointed to God being good. Since then, God has fallen out of favor. That’s why, I think, when Passion of The Christ came out, it was so shocking to see so many being so taken up by it. Many in tv and movies had “put God aside” by then. Now you had that miniseries “The Bible” that was produced by Roma Downey (who was one of the mains on Touched By an Angel) and that spinoff on NBC “AD – The Bible Continues” that went from Easter to late spring a few years back. Other than that, forget about it. Now in this age of all these streaming networks, be it Netflix, Amazon etc.. they tend to be into the “extreme” “outrageous” “surreal” “morbid” etc.. God and all His good, and what is His truth, is never on the minds of their writers. Now another thing they’ve forgotten, regarding 13 reasons, is, and I don’t know what your Catholicism has taught you regarding suicide, but I was always taught that anybody who did went to hell because doing so was just like intently killing someone else (not counting war etc.. of course). You’re willingly, needlessly murdering one of God’s people, yourself. In other words, there is no glory after. I do not know if that is today’s teachings or beliefs even in The Catholic Church, but it at least once was. I am always so proud of you for all that you conquered in your tough times. You are a great example of overcoming the desire to commit. You are a gift to this world and it is so wonderful to know you. Your beauty both inside and out illuminates this oftentimes sad world we live in. Keep being that wonderful inspiration to so many. Keep sharing that beautiful smile both in all that you do for your profession, and even on here. God Bless You everyday! xoxoxoxo
Thank you so much Miguel for this thoughtful response. yeah, God is definitely not a popular topic in the mainstream media these days. Shock value has much more cache. I don’t feel qualified to speak on that, but I do trust in GOd’s mercy. so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
xoxoxoxoxo
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Even movie remakes these days seem to be done so more for shock value than for real quality. I hope your film career is taking off as amazingly as you yourself are amazing!! xoxoxoxo <3 <3
you’re so right about that. aw, thank you. 🙂 xox
xoxoxo
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On June 30th would you like to join some friends and I for lunch? Bring a friend too. I/we are going to Cachapas Y Mas up on Dyckman in Washington Heights. Then its down to The Barrio for music shopping and going to Salsa Saturday at La Marqueta. Love to have you/you all along.
Oh gosh, thank you so much for the invite Miguel! I’m not sure if I’ll be in town on the 30th yet, but i’ll let you know! sounds like fun!!
Hugs!! xoxo
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🙂 🙂
I understand that you’re extremely religious, for specifically Christian, and that rather you believe it or not certain concepts of that religion have molded the way you think about most if not all things dwelling outside that very small conservative box you were most likely raised in. Now, there’s no shade given that I identify as Christian as well. But as someone who is Christian as well as someone who used to starve himself, attempted suicide by overdose, and has suffered from severe depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety for as long as I can remember, honestly, I have to say you’re being too hard on this show. For one it is in fact just a show, regardless of how people take it what they’re options are; it’s fiction. Two, from someone who suffers from a wide variety of mental illnesses this show honestly does shed light on many things I’ve thought and gone through. I’m not really sure how you’ve gone through all that you’ve gone through and still can’t find any way to relate to anything in that show. Maybe you don’t want to be honest with yourself or maybe you’re just too self righteous hung up on the “glorification” of the show on certain issues. If that’s the case fine, there won’t be any changing you until perhaps you have kids one day and they go through this. Teens and people in general were committing and contemplating suicide way before this show and will still be after. So what if these issues seem to be glorified in this show; that’s your opinion to be honest. That does not speak to the actual intent of the show. Why not be more concerned with the fact that these issues exist in the first place. That’s the real problem…
Hey friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. First of all, I’m so sorry to hear that this hits so close to home for you. my heart goes out to you friend. secondly, I don’t think I am self righteous about the topic. I’m sorry if you feel that I am, but I have incredible compassion for people going through these things. And I can relate to many of these issues: anorexia is a mental health issue and a form of self harm for sure, one of my friends struggled with addiction, I was sexually assaulted, and of course, was a high schooler and felt the pressures of drinking and sex. so i can relate and have so much compassion. my problem with the show was its irresponsible depiction of the topics and how it glorifies such devastating and serious issues. And I agree, it is a serious problem that these issues exist in the first place. thanks again for stopping by. hope this cleared things up! Hugs and love xox
I guess I should ask why you feel as though these issues are being glorified? How would have gone about doing this show if you were the producer? The show is bold without doubt but I have feeling that had it been too modest there would’ve been complaints about that as well.
There was a lot of gratuitous violence. And I think the post spells out how it’s glorified.
The violence wasn’t that bad as far as depicting what happens in real life. I live in the second deadliest city in my state and I used to live in the first, I actually lived about ten miles away from Santa Fe. That “gratuitous” violence goes on everyday in many parts of this country. It is what it is, “This is America”… And fair enough, you did explain how it supposedly glorified all these issues. However you’re still not saying how you would’ve done it. If you think 13 reasons is too much then tell me if you wanted to raise awareness on these issues and show the raw details of these struggles how would you have done it? What would you have done to convey and show the pain, suffering and mental disposition of what so many kids are actually going through and to the extreme in fact.
I wrote the posts titled Beauty Beyond the Red for you. Please read…
Sure
Wow what a beautiful poem. Thank you for such kind words. Kenzie, it saddens me that you think I hate you!! Because I definitely do not! I love that we sometimes have different viewpoints but that we are able to talk about them in such a positive and respectful way. I always come away from our convos having learned something and with a new perspective that really gives me something new to think about. So thank you for that. I am incredibly touched by this poem. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs xox
I’m just glad you liked it… Of course I know you don’t hate me. I don’t feel like you’re the type to hate anyone. I just wanted to apologize and be transparent with you so you know I don’t hate you either, despite our differences. I’m still a huge fan and supporter of yours, probably will always be. Not to mention you’re so pretty. I’m sure I’m probably the furthest from your type but had reality been a little kinder I’d totally cross my fingers and shoot my shot. Those guys over there are missing out.
Well gosh thank you. that really means a lot 🙂
Keep smiling and stay beautiful. ☺️✌️
thanks x
Not to bother you further but thank you for your support. I don’t know if you actually read my work (I know I don’t read everyone’s work; people only care about likes and views anyway 🤫) buy I appreciate your likes. Despite our obvious differences I adore you and your blog. I also still have your book. You’re one of my favorites oddly enough. I haven’t spent actual money on anyone else on here. Lol
Well thank you. I do – you’re my friend and I want to read and support what your putting out there!! 🙂
There is NO value in this show, I only watched 3 episodes of season 1. It upset me to know I lead a group and have parents retell their tragic loss of a child over and over once. Month. The show makes me furious over the disregard for the feelings of those who are bereaved.
Four years ago, I dropped everything to drive 3 hours because my family member was suicidal. This same niece was with me last week working on her Senior Capstone Project: the effects of social media on suicide.
I asked her about 13 Reasons Why. She said “It shouldn’t be allowed on.”
I’m at a loss over how stupid adults can be, how blind, how unaware of our culture and how absolutely they must be aware of shows like this. A MA rating won’t stop a child from watching. In fact, it will tease and tempt and they’ll say everybody’s watching, I gotta watch.
I have no plans to watch a show that does nothing to prevent suicide, rather it lures and fascinated and in an hypnotic way leads children to decide suicide must not be so bad.
Thank you so much Lisanne for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, I am with you there. it is so inconsiderate to those bereaved. wow, what an incredible aunt you are. your niece is absolutely right – it should be allowed on. yes, same here. thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox
I’ve recently heard a family share the story of their daughter who committed suicide. She had binge watched the first season of 13RW. To hear the heartbreak and anguish in the mother’s voice is haunting to say the least. They had no clue their daughter was anywhere close to having such dark thoughts and feelings. And they monitored what she watched and did online, but the young lady was secretive about watching it. Soon after, she came home from school while everyone else was away and killed herself exactly like one of the characters in the show. The parents are sharing their story to try and warn others about the danger.
You’re exactly right about what was left. Nothing but the pain and guilt of the family wondering why she did it and what could they possibly have done differently to prevent it.
You also hit on the desensitizing the show does to the viewers. The young lady left letters behind like the character’s tapes. But some of those who received the letters have made disparaging comments about her since she died. They act as though they have no comprehension that her life is over and what a tragedy it is. I pray with you that parents step in and that someone with clear thinking pulls the plug on this mess.
Well done on an especially difficult topic! Blessings!
Kenneth
Oh my gosh Kenneth, this is so tragic. oh i am so sorry to hear that. gosh. so sad. yeah this show is so harmful. so so harmful. my prayers are with her loved ones left behind. big big hugs xo
I completely agree. This show was so disturbing for me to watch as an adult. I can’t imag watching as a teen! I’m very disappointed that they took this topic that needs to be talked about and made it so graphic and unrealistic. Disgusting.
thanks Carla, yeah it was so disturbing. so incredibly disappointing too. Hugs and love xox
Holy crap. I couldn’t believe your description of what happens in this program with the gang rape! I HATE it when the media portrays stuff like that as “everyday, normal bullying.” SO NOT NORMAL, SO NOT OKAY.
The novel I’m writing now opens with a suicide recovery in the hospital. (It’s a YA spiritual novel of sorts.) One theme of my novel is that there is always hope and suicide is never necessary. I’d be honored if you’d read it one day if I ever publish it or get it published. I completely agree with you that a relationship with a ghost is highly inappropriate given the ghost committed suicide. If it was death by accident, I’d be on board, but that ghost had a freakin’ choice (not that I want to sound judgmental against anyone who’s taken their own life–I’ve tried it in the past and thank God I failed).
thank you Meg, yeah it was so disturbing. SO disturbing. and to think that it is being targeted to teens. What the heck was Netflix thinking. wow, that sounds like a powerful novel. I hope to read it one day. and tank you for sharing your story – i’m so glad you’re here today 🙂 sending so much love and hugs xo
Sorry–I meant to say my novel opens with a recovery from a suicide attempt. No actual suicide, just learning that it never needed to be attempted, if that makes sense. 🙂
Gotcha 🙂
Just so you know, your review of the first season of this Netflix series is what grabbed me about your writing style, when I had very little idea who you shaped up to be. I am not sure I would have watched something like that series for enjoyment, but I certainly didn’t want to when I read what you had to say about it. Now every time I am searching Netflix titles, and this series’ icon to play it appears in front of me, I remember, “There’s that series that beautybeyondbones reviewed.” I believed then that you found it despicable, and I believe now you find the next season similarly heartless. I might have worked up the nerve to try sitting through it if I had never read your review of the first season, but thanks to that timely post of yours, I made the decision never to.
Thanks friend. Yeah despicable is for sure the word. I’m so glad you found the review helpful 🙂 big hugs to you xox
Your posts are always easy to read and real. Much appreciated
Thanks Nathan. Hugs and love xox
[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2018/05/21/13-reasons-why-watch-your-thoughts/ […]
Thanks Tonya for the link up! Hugs and love xox
This movie is one of many targeting our kids to destroy them, making their producer Satan and not some foolish puppet celebrity Satan is using. Pisces me off. We need to protect our children and demand as a collective that Netflix remove these movies from easy access of our children. No one watch it but also all of us mail or call them demanding it’s removal. It is time we were vocal about such attacks on our kids. I am with you and for God. Love you and your heart for justice. ❤
Thanks so much Tonya. You’re so right – we need to protect kids from this – not glorify it. Yes you’re so right. Hugs and love xox
Keep fighting the good fight! You rock!❤❤❤
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My wife and I tried to have a conversation with a teenager in our church about how dangerous season 1 was for her to watch– she thought it was a great show. I’m really hoping she was too busy with her very very full school year to watch the 2nd. I will have to ask her this Sunday about this.
Thanks for taking one for the team and watching this so a thoughtful Christian review of the season is available.
I pray she was too busy to watch too. Good for you for opening up a conversation with her about it! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for the warning!
No prob! Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox
Wow. I wasn’t planning on watching it, and I didn’t see the first season, but, wow.
Yeah so disturbing. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
I remember being in the 9th grade when the book was released. Back then my classmates glorified it. They were obsessed with this…romanticized vision of suicide. Then several teen suicides occurred in our area. One student was a member of our school…he was a 12th grader. I will never forget hearing the ridiculous comments circling around. There was a rumor he killed himself because his girlfriend had broken up with him. The girls in my homeroom, and many of my friends thought that this was “ROMANTIC” because “He couldn’t live without her.” I felt sick to my stomach….absolutely sick.
A friend of mine actually watched the first season of the show and HATED it. She suffers from depression, and she’s attempted suicide. She found the show was glorifying and glamorizing these subjects. She said the main character made it furious, and that the writers of the show had no idea what they were talking about.
Not all of these issues are faced by the average teenager. I was one only a few short years ago, and guess what nothing has changed.
Even the show Riverdale, which at first I enjoyed because I grew up reading all the Archie comics (my uncles a collector), has become a HUGE turn off to teenagers in its second season. My cousins who are between 14 and 17 watch the show, and I decided to ask their opinion on the second season because I thought something was wrong with me for thinking it was…terrible…their comment was, “I don’t know what’s going on and…the show is SUPPOSED TO BE FOR TEENAGERS…but they’re doing things that…we can’t even relate to….”
This has been my issue with Young Adult geared media for years. It ISN’T relatable. It ISN’T realistic and…the writers are either completely warped in the head or they’re looking for ANYTHING CONTROVERSIAL to throw into the script to get people talking. It’s not even about the views anymore, its about how much discussion you can get out of an episode.
Oh my gosh that is so tragic and sad. And yes – incredibly heart wrenching. I’m sorry that your friend is going through that. She’s lucky to have you as a friend. Yeah I think we need to be listening to those who are actually suffering from these mental health issues and take the quest from them. I haven’t seen the second season of river dale…what’s going on in it? I SO agree – young adult is more adult than young if you as me. It makes me sick. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox
The plot for the 2nd season of Riverdale seems like it’s all over the place. I don’t think the writers were prepared for a second season, and so they decided to take everything and anything they could muster up and throw it into the script. They actually had a strip tease scene with Betty who…last time I checked was 16 years old (her character not the actress), so that was extremely troubling. It made me very uncomfortable because even though the actress is in her 20s…she is portraying a high school girl. They’ve been over sexualizing the female characters in the show a lot this season and it’s disturbing because of how old they’re SUPPOSED to be. I’m not necessarily concerned about this making girls my cousins ages think that they need to be acting this way, I’m more concerned that this is a sick and messed up way of sexualizing young girls without putting an actual minor at risk. It’s…just not okay on so many levels. I don’t know what the writers were thinking when they did that. How many hands does a script go through before it’s approved!? I really want to know. There is nothing empowering about sexualizing underaged girls. My cousins definitely did not feel empowered. We keep talking about protecting our young women by educating men about sexual assault and rape etc, but then we turn around and sexualize them on television? That’s just twisted. I was so angry when they did that, especially since the shows female characters are continuously talking about being strong, smart women. If these actresses actually thought about it what their characters are supposed to represent, I think that they would see the contrast here….but I guess they’re making money, so why does it matter to them? I’m just…really displeased with a lot of young adult media right now. They only hired actors and actresses over the age of 18 so that they could have them act out in more “risky” scenes…but the writers never think about the AGE of the character. If the writers and producers are okay with portraying minors in sexualized settings then there is something seriously wrong with that, and us viewers need to speak up and say something!
Yikes. Yeah you’re so right andrew – it’s just so twisted. And so harmful like you said, to normalize that behavior for 16 year old girls. Not okay!!! What message is that sending!?
[…] via 13 Reasons Why: Watch Your Thoughts — BeautyBeyondBones […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Something I disliked majorly when watching the “13 reasons why” series was how a lot of my friends were like “wow I really regret all the things I did to people that may have hurt them in the past”.
Like?? It takes a popular netflix TV show to get you to realize that? It honestly takes $0.00 to be a decent human being and to not hurt other people whether that be emotionally or physically. The suicide itself on the show is super glorified as well and I do not think that something as serious as that should be popularized on impressionable youth.
So so so true!!! I am with you 100% on everything you said here. We forget in adulthood how truly impressionable kids are. And with Selena Gomez as the producer…her fan base is all in that age group. And they’re all going to watch because they’re her fans. So irresponsible. So sad. So disappointing. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for your post. I had watched the 2nd season because I have a lot of contact with young people from immigrant/refugee families and their parents would not watch or understand the show. I really got in a funk after watching it and kind of got kicked back into gear after reading your post to focus on Jesus. I hope it is okay that my post tomorrow will have a link to this post.
Thanks friend. Yeah it is definitely emotionally draining. I came away from it feeling pretty raw too. I would be honored for you to share this with your readers. Hugs and love xox
Another thought just hit me about how insidious the timing of the release for 2nd season is, It was released at a time when high school and middle school are almost out for the summer so less support for kids at risk.
I know, i meant to mention that in the post – it happened the same day. so tragic. they actually cancelled their release party as a result. Yeah, kids need support in this world
It’s not only kids who are affected by what they see on TV but adults too. I recently watched a very interesting video by a person with a specialty within psychology. He graphically illustrated how the brain works and mentioned that what we expose our senses to lodges in the brain and is stored there. True we may not remember our birth though I’ve seen other videos that show doctors activating sections of the brain with electrodes and facilitating buried memories recalling. The bottom line is the brain sorts all this out and while we may not remember the experiences that have contributed to our present actions those experiences have an impact on how we think and act now. Watch the usual overwhelming detective shows with their killings and you accept that as a way of life even though you may not actually do it. Watch the usual fare of marital disfunctions and you accept that as the norm too. Watch school and terrorist shootings and torture and after a while you say that’s the way society operates. How we see our parents act as we grow is stored there as part of marriage. Spend hours on computer working killing games and that makes it easy to transfer from the keyboard to a gun in damaged people. Leaders in the political, educational, social and religious world seemingly don’t feel impelled to make the change needed before we hit rock bottom in the Western World. Hollywood and the media certainly have no interest. When I though about all this I quit watching cable and free to air. I select from the enormous storehouse on YouTube and the internet things to watch which promote a healthy attitude toward people and enhance my relationship with God. You don’t have to be a Bible basher to do this. I’ve found since doing this I have clearer and better thoughts and more time to spend with others who need a listening ear. Nice pictures.
That is so interesting Ian. You’re right – disturbing images are disturbing no matter who views them. I’m so glad you’ve found that positive thing to do! Hugs and love xox
They are called, suicide contagions. But, can actually occur within the media in general. Subtle, spikes in deaths that occur by age and gender mostly younger and mostly male. External circumstances, 1990’s Wall Street, 2010’s back to back wars suicide killed more veterans than combat, celebrity suicides spike in the months after. The W.H.O. promotes guidelines and limits how journalists can produce articles on suicide. Art. Has less boundaries. It is a Catch-22. Though. Have you ever been depressed? Depression is a cause for suicide. Ever had a drink? Another cause. Do we limit these causes also? We. Should. Not patronize but, engage. Why? Are you drinking? Why? Are you depressed today? Come. Walk with me. The truth. We cannot stop media from occurring there is so much money in amplifying the problems than teaching.
Yeah very sad. We need to be doing more to help and prevent these things. Media needs to take responsibility too
Oh. That is not their job. They produce so that we consume. You know this. We have platforms to share but it is only those that schlep goods or services that really are noticed. The sell out super consumer. We complain but, to who? Each other? Like hens in a henhouse complaining about the farmer. Lots of emotion and yet no one is boycotting Netflix. Amazon pays crappy and fires you if you use the bathroom, everyone still uses them. This. Emotion can create solid stances that adolescent suicide is not art but, it will interfere with our binge watching.
They are the gatekeepers for sure
Good people, are persuaded to think they are not also a part of the problem with that belief. If I don’t watch it then it won’t happen. Yeah. I don’t blame them. I can’t, I don’t exist to them and neither does my daughter. Art is what we want it to be and so, this is as much our thoughts as it is who produced it.
Full disclosure: I have not seen either of the two seasons.
It’s unfortunate that the series portrays suicide in such a callous… flippant… irresponsible… manner; I think a responsible discussion, especially from such a mainstream source would be incredibly important, especially for the target demographic. I assumed that was going to happen in season one, based on the original trailer.
For season two, a thoughtful discussion about the effects of obsessing over tragedies, and the ensuing problems that occur would be an important narrative point. It could even be a meta-narrative examination of the controversy that surrounded season one.
Even the stuff about ghost Hannah could be an interesting hook that examines the lasting impact a tragedy has on the living.
It sounds like the ingredients for a compelling story exist, but are either under-cooked or structurally rotten.
I almost almost want to go and watch the series on an academic level, but I’m not sure I want to subject myself to the emotions that I know would be dredged up. I don’t know if it’d be worth it.
Thanks Kevin. Yeah incredibly irresponsible. And you’re right- the ingredients are there – the execution was horrendous and I’m afraid, detrimental to teens and viewers. Hugs and love xox
It makes me wonder if the book deals with the subject matter better than the show.
Yeah that’s a great question
[…] you to Beauty Beyond Bones for inspiring this […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for posting such a visceral and thoughtful review, Caralyn. I can’t believe such things are allowed to be shown on television. I’m 33 years old and a Christian, but I’m not a prude and high school was really not all that long ago for me. I know times change and that going through adolescence today is a different kind of hell than what we experienced even 15 years ago. But for the show to imply that such horrific behavior is normal or even acceptable is appalling. Kids are SO impressionable, even though they deny it. I kept a journal all through middle and high school. It shocks me sometimes to read back through it and realize how impressionable I was, even though I was a smart, well-rounded and grounded kid who knew right from wrong. But as someone mentioned above, anyone who watches a show like this, or even just a show with violence, absorbs the images and information without even necessarily meaning to. I still have nightmares about accidentally seeing violent movie scenes 25 years ago. This is not the kind of imagery we should be allowing ANYONE to see, especially the kids who are being targeted to watch it.
Thanks friend. Yeah I cannot believe it either. It was rated tv ma but I’ll tell ya, that’s not going to stop Selena Gomez fans from watching. Your so right – kids are SO impressionable. We forget that. Amen. Hugs and love xox
Thank you. Your concern for people shines through your every word. Just some of my thoughts about suicide: For myself anyway, I’ve discovered that it’s a mood, and I think moods are like micro-personalities. When you’re in any mood, not just suicide, you believe everything that’s happening to you in that mood is real and the truth, but that isn’t always the case. Like in the mood of paranoia, you fear things that aren’t really there, but you believe they are; even certain they are, when, often times nothing could be further from the truth. As for depression to the point of considering suicide, if you can only remember that you are in a state of mind that is not real, you have a better chance of avoiding an unfortunate decision. Lots of people who think they no longer want to live can’t consider suicide because of their faith. The humility gained through faith tells them there are things they don’t know. Their faith tells them their might be a reason to go on they are not currently considering. I really admire your efforts in this area.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this. Yes – there is always a reason to go on. There is always a glimmer of hope to be found. Hugs and love xox
Unfortunately, the moral of this story is that there is simply not much worth watching on TV these days even though the offerings from cable, Netflix, etc have exploded. I feel your pain, Caralyn, but the solution is time better spent reading. Ted
Sadly I think you’re right Ted. Bust out the books! Hugs and love xox
Thanks for this write up. Haven’t watched the series and most likely won’t after this post. Definetly not having my 13 year old daughter watch it. Thanks for your own vulnerability in writing this. Struggled through an eating disorder with one of my daughters, so I’m acutely aware of the heartache of dealing with teen issues that devastate families. So grateful for the power of prayer and the grace of God to get through those types of challenges. Thanks for offering the Hope we all need to remember which truly changes things.
Thanks Richard. Yeah keep those precious away from this disturbing filth. I’m sorry you know first hand the devastation of an eating disorder. So glad that you also know the healing hand of God. I will definitely keep her in my prayers as she continues on her recovery journey. Hugs and love xox
I have decided to read classical literature which includes biographies of some people whose lives I would rather not read about. I was struggling with it until I read what you wrote about watching 13 Reasons Why- in order to be part of the dialog. Thank you for helping make this decision. I need to read these biographies in order to be part of the dialog. I don’t want to be part of the crowd that forms ‘facts’ based on opinions. Thank you for calling out the harmful affect the show, 13 Reasons Why is having on the group it claims to want to help. I appreciate your courage.
Thanks so much Melissa for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah sometimes the dialogue needs a different voice with a counter view. Hugs and love xox
You’ve made a very important point here. I completely agree.
Thanks Stefan. Hugs and love xox
[…] If you want to know more about the show 13RW and why it is dangerous for youth but do not have the time to watch it, a blog I follow did an excellent job in a post describing why it is concerning. Here is the link- beautybeyondbones […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this post and the warning. My 14 year-old daughter mentioned the show the other day, but I’d never heard of it. We will have a talk this evening.
Thanks so much John. Yeah definitely talk with her about it. I’ll be praying for that conversation! Hugs and love xox
Oh sweet Caroline!!! Thank you sooo much for saving me from watching the second season! I watched the first season for exactly why you state about this season…to engage in dialogue. One of my teen daughters friends had watched it and I wanted to be able to interact with her about. I even then blogged about it because as you state it leaves out God! The key element. My largest problem with the first season is that it’s so graphic, especially the rape scenes, that it could scandalize and or retraumatize a person. It’s really a no win situation for anyone watching. I think as a Christian parent ( and I’m catholic as well) we do a better service to our teens when we are willing to talk about the subjects candidly rather than expose our precious children to this mind searing content. So thank you again for saving me from watching it…. cause I was actually getting ready to watch it next week to do exactly like you did to engage in conversation….to blog about it…..but the bathroom scene you described let me know I can’t…and I’m grateful you did….but I’m also sorry your mind had to be seared with those images! You’re always in my prayers! Thank you for all the amazing ripples you spread each day on this blog!!!! Blessings…..Kelly 😇💧💜
Thank you so much Jelly for sharing your thoughts on this. I know – it leaves out the One who could have changed the ending of the story. It gives such a disservice to those struggling by withholding the best resource available: God!! Just like you said – the key element!! and you’re absolutely correct in your description: mind searing. Thanks for your prayers and kind words! Know that you and your fam are in mine too! Hugs and love xox
Wow, wow, wow! I will definitely share this post with my friends. I’ve never watched this post because I am highly sensitive and triggered by graphic movies/shows. However, I was kind of tempted to watch it until I read this post. This is so disturbing, the way culture is glorifying suicide and spreading the idea that the action could be another person’s fault. I’m all for addressing these issues to teens, but there’s a better way to do it. This is not sensitive to the young adult brain, which continues to develop into mid twenties. Garbage in, garbage out. We wonder why kids are hurting themselves and others and blame it on guns and politics. Maybe we need to take a look at the screens teens are hooked to 24/7 and rethink things. Maybe we need to step up as families and be plugged back into the community, and most importantly, Jesus.
Thanks so much Emily. I appreciate you passing it along. Yeah it is beyond disturbing. The Graphic scenes seriously sear your brain. I am still haunted by the actual scene from season one. Too much. Too much. You’re SO RIGHT – there’s a better way to do it. Garbage in garbage out. AMEN!!!!!!! Oh my gosh everything you said — 💯💯💯 Hugs and love xox
Thank you 😊 because of your post I stopped at least two friends from watching it!
The 13 Reasons Why phenomenon is a red flag of a much deeper sickness in our society. It’s a sickness that God warned about thousands of years ago: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18). For many youths and adults, this lack of law-keeping and lack of vision has real life-and-death consequences.
I think you’re so right – a much deeper sickness. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing. I can not even begin to understand why and what gets put out there in this day.
Thanks Avery. Yeah I still can’t understand it either. So disturbing. And sick that it’s marketed to teens – the most impressionable of us all. Hugs and love xox
Right?!
It’s seriously so disappointing. ✨💛✨
I know the struggles of depression and suicidal tendencies all too well – that actually led me to Christ. I watched the first season but then quickly regretted it because it somewhat made me miss the times when I would cut myself. But I haven’t watched the second season because I don’t think it would be good for me, especially since I am going through a struggle of depression in my life right now. It’s important to remember that what we see – the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us sees it as well. I used to watch a lot of things that didn’t bring God the glory and tbh not everything will but to keep thinking on the Phil 4 verses you highlighted will be a great start. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry this hit so close to home for you. Im so glad you’ve found that peace that comes from Christ. Yeah I would definitely pass on the second season. Wow – I have literally never thought about that, with the Holy Spirit seeing what we see and WOW that is a powerful thought. Thank you for sharing that wisdom with me. So glad you stopped by my friend. Big big hugs to you xox
I did not watch the first one. I will not watch the second. Reading your review I am so very sad for all who have or will – simply because they are caught up with the powerful pull to “know-what’s-going-on.” ‘Ambulance chasers’ from a new era. The Evil One knows how susceptible we can be…how our egos woo us into believing we are ‘missing’ something if we are not included in some way. Even in tragedy we look for the way we can ‘relate,’ in an effort to participate & not be excluded. I am so heart-broken for our God. We, made in His likeness and image…how disappointed He must be to see such behaviors acted out for profits’ sake from those he loves & to know so many cannot bare to even look away. I pray for all the healing that will be necessary to those harmed by the effects of this senseless ‘entertainment.’ Hugs to you for adding your voice to the dialogue.
Thanks Dawn. Yeah it is so disturbing and my heart breaks for the teens who will come across it. And yes-for God too! Thanks for this powerful response. I will join you in that prayer. Hugs and love xox
Thanks for taking one for the team. I’m glad you watched it so I didn’t have to! Suicide is most definitely permanent, I’ve lost family and friends that are not coming back in this life. The world is deceived and as you mentioned fights against it’s only hope for salvation – Christ. Great post, really important topic that needs to see the light.
Oh gosh, i’m so sorry that this hits so close to home for you. amen – He is our only hope. And there truly is hope to be found. thanks for your encouragement. sending so much love xox
It hits close to home for a lot of folk, but it’s not a fun subject so it gets swept under the rug. I really believe depression and suicide need more posts like yours that get the subject out in the light. Thank you!
I completely agree. Thanks again x
🙂
✨💛✨
I don’t see anything inherently wrong with producing a television show or film that addresses the topic of suicide, especially if it’s handled in an intelligent, adult manner that doesn’t talk down to its audience or (mis)judge its subject. Properly done, such as in the 1994 TV-movie To Die, To Sleep, addressing the reasons people decide to take their own lives and the consequences (if any) suffered by the survivors can have a therapeutic effect in helping us to understand and, one hopes, to take preventative action.
So in that light, I can see where 13 Reasons Why tried to go with its subject in an effort to explain why one girl killed herself. It tried to point the finger of blame at those who made her life so miserable that she saw no way out other than death. It’s not without its basis in reality; the video-recorded-and-broadcast hanging suicide of twelve-year-old Katelyn Nicole Davis revealed a deeply troubled, sexually abused young woman who was made to feel that she had no one to whom she could turn for help, and the revelations of her dismal home life show that there is plenty of blame to go around, and there should indeed be legal consequences for those who drove her to suicide. More than that, society must confront its unwillingness to address these things while people still live, instead of ignoring them and only expressing outrage after the victim has died.
The problem with 13 Reasons Why is not that it was produced, or that it depicts suicide in all its gruesomeness (maybe people would be more hesitant to go through with it if they understood just how messy and painful it is to die), or even in the way it seeks to place proper blame for what the protagonist’s abusers did to make her feel that death was her only escape.
No, the problem is that it handles the subject matter in an immature, pandering manner that talks down to its audience and injects melodrama that is wholly unnecessary to the story. It doesn’t respect the material and as a result, misses opportunities to open up the necessary discussion that can offer real help to those who suffer such extreme depression that they feel they are better off dead. If it were written at a truly adult level and weren’t concerned with going for cheap melodrama, and kept it real at all times, then 13 Reasons Why might be just what is needed. Instead, we have something that is far more shallow than it ought to be, rendering it ineffective.
Thank you so much for your perspective on this, Michael. You’re absolutely right in that it doesn’t respect the material. It is incredibly shallow, going for the cheap shock value rather than a productive conversation starter. big hugs to you xo
Once again, really as usual, you dear BBB have nailed it with courage, grace and wisdom. You are a truth-telling gift from God to we who “hear” you. I do not know if you have ever tried to identify your spiritual gifts from the LORD. There are some ways, but I would guess from your writing that you at least have the gift of being one who encourages others, and I think you have a gift of teaching as well. These are only my guesses, but they are educated ones from being a retired pastor;) I thank you for using what the LORD has given to you. I am also grateful for your graceful tone in both writing and responding to comments. It is one of those things I should work on myself. Blessings to you in Christ,
D.T. Osborn
Thank you so much DT for sharing your thoughts on this. wow, I am so touched and humbled by your kind words. I actually have taken the spiritual gifts inventory. My results are in nyc – and i just flew back to ohio for another shoot today — but i’m 97% sure that encourager was my #1. Thank you again for the support. it means the world. Hugs and love xox
I, unfortunately, have to agree with you. to be honest I got triggered by the ending of the first season and planned on doing what Hannah was doing… I had to go to the ER, I was at a pretty stable position by that time but the show really triggered me. I cannot begin to imagine how vulnerable teenagers would have felt if they were going through a similar situation. After that day I would never watch this tv series, I would never recommend this show to anyone.
Oh friend, I’m so sorry that this hit so close to home. I am so glad that you are here. I know that’s cheesy to say, but the world is better with you in it 🙂 I know, for me personally, I know we have never met in “real” life, but I always get a smile on my face when I see your name and photo pop up in my comment section. 🙂 Yeah, this show is definitely super harmful and not something I would recommend to anyone either. sending big hugs to you. thank you for sharing your story. Hugs and love xox
Thank you so much for your sweet comment
Caralyn, thank you for the discernment you have displayed first of all in taking umbrage with this offensive program, and second for writing about it with such a great blend of grace and candor. The world needs your insight. I’m so glad you are here.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am truly touched. Hugs and love xox
I never watched the first season. I can’t remember where I heard or read that the show pretty much glorified suicide. I almost decided to watch it anyway, knowing that so many young people were watching it and, with my background as a school counselor, I wanted to be ready to respond if someone came to me looking for an opinion. Reading what you have to say about season two, I’m glad I decided not to ever turn it on. It’s funny, I was actually talking about it today with my roommate. He’s our youth minister at church and he was thinking about going back and watching the first season now that there’s a second. I think I’ll send him a link to this post.
Yeah, this was definitely a series to pass over. It is incredibly disturbing and destructive and harmful to everyone it touches. Yeah, it’s important to be in the know, but gosh, it’s a tough watch. I definitely do not recommend it to any. thanks for stopping by, friend. Hugs and love xox
As someone who has dealt with these issues for decades the last place you want to go to is the ER. They simply are not equipped to handle these issues. It is a total myth that the ER will protect you because they can’t. It is also the most expensive part of any hospital.
Oh Duke, that breaks my heart to hear that. I’m so glad that you are with us. 🙂 And this is a really insightful comment. – definitely expensive for sure. Hugs and love xox
I just wish there was a new awakening to these issues and not the same old stuff!
Me too!
So what is the solution? The answer is not with the mental health folks that is for sure. Hollywood? There is so much misinformation floating around. The internet is a minefield that is for sure. The reality is that there are people who do have mental health issues that need all the help we can give them. Things like schizophrenia. Then there are those who are just seeking attention. If someone truly wants to kill themselves they will and they won’t be telling anybody. These issues are tough and there are no magic pills. When I was growing up the culture was putting labels on everyone then there was a period of time that those things got pushed aside. Now it’s back to labeling everyone!
Yeah it’s such a complicated issue
The thing is it really doesn’t have to be complicated. It would require some people to start acting like adults and put their personal agendas aside. It would take people to start taking responsibility for their own actions. This thing called life is a tough place and the older you get it can get tougher at times. People have to decide if they want to be a victim or not. If people choose to play the victim then stop wasting the time and resources that others who are really trying can get the help they need.
Wise words, Duke. Hugs and love xox
Hi Caralyn: it is a terrible commentary to the direction society has gone and is still going. I would never watch any of these series, because I have seen too much of it in real life during my years of volunteering at a Drop In, and doing Street Ministry.
Even closer to home, my sister attempted suicide 4 times I am aware of, when she was in late teens to early 30s, and we Praise Jesus she was not successful, as we caught her in time. For the past 4-5 years she has been in Long Term Care, having Dementia Alzheimer’s, not being able to walk, talk, recognize anyone. And that is an improvement in the past three months to what the previous two years were, when she was never out of her bed, was crying and yelling continually.
But a cousin of ours was not as fortunate, and completed his plan.
I can’t believe that anyone in the planning or production stage of these programs ever put any thought into people’s real lives who may have challenges, needing positive help.
I apologize for all that Caralyn. I actually have two primary purposes for replying tonight. One, is to say, I don’t believe you will ever know how many people you have helped, as you face and look into difficult, horrific things happening in this world, and share the bad and the ugly, as well as the good on many days, until you arrive in Glory, many years from now unless the Rapture is first, and hear Jesus, the Christ say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Secondly, I do have a great concern for you, as you put yourself in these areas that the enemy of all mankind has plotted, to lie to, kill and destroy. As you willingly walk into these situations to tell others of the dangers, you rise up on the Top Enemy List Of our enemy.
Due to that, I am praying Protection over you continually, a Hedge Of Protection around you, as well as the all important Shed Blood of our Lord Jesus to cover you completely, from head to foot. Praying for the complete Armour Of God to be placed upon you, with the Sword of the Spirit in your hand as the only offensive weapon you need.
Praying the Power of Holy Spirit, who indwells you, to fill you to overflowing, giving you wisdom, discernment, guidance in all things at all times.
I sincerely hope and trust, you have others, a team of others, possibly your Priests and Pastor lifting you in prayer also.
Thank you Carmen.
Luv,
😀❤️🌹😘
I am so sorry Caralyn. I didn’t check the spellcheck, and it slid a wrong name in. Usually I check, or try to remember. 😀❤️🌹😘
haha no worries! I knew that’s what you meant 🙂 heck, I’ll pretty much answer to anything….even “Hey You!” 🙂
Oh George, I am so sorry that this hits so close to home for you. Praise Jesus indeed that your sister was not successful. and my heart breaks for your cousin. You’re so right, the show was so insensitive and truly negligent in how they’re portraying these serious, serious issues. And targeting it to teens?? Just awful. And gosh, i am so touched by your prayer of protection. It truly means a lot. And that is definitely something that I am keenly aware of, and on guard for. Because the enemy is cunning, and on the prowl. Thank you for being such an incredible friend and brother in Christ. big hugs to you xox
I haven’t watched this program, and I doubt that will change, although you actually make it sound more interesting than I had thought. However, you are missing several points.
(1) Suicide has been rising among all age groups. Not just the kids but their parents and grandparents. That’s likely to get worse.
(2) In cutting funds for public health, the government is cutting the support network that was supposed to help with this. Heck, you voted for change and you’re getting it — just not what you expected.
(3) It’s still unresolved just how much influence TV has on behavior. Like hypnosis, someone has to be predisposed to do something or they won’t do it. We’re not dealing with the underlying causes of that predisposition.
(4) God may not be the enemy, but at best He’s a neutral bystander, watching this mess unfold.
I have an updated blog post on suicide statistics that will appear later this week.
thank you Vic for sharing these important facts. how very sad and worrisome. I do believe that God is weeping, watching his children reject Him, wanting to save them, if we will allow it. I look forward to reading your blog. Hugs and love xox
This is just disgusting! Thank you for speaking so honestly and openly. I knew it was a horrible show, but I had no idea just how bad… What a harmful message to send to teens!
Thank you so much Nicole. Yeah, it is SUCH a harmful message to send to the most impressionable of age groups! It makes me sick. So glad you stopped by. big hugs to you friend xox
I found out one of my good friends committed suicide a couple weeks ago. I WISH he could come back and talk to me, but – as you said – death is final.
I haven’t watched 13 Reasons Why, but it sure seemed to me like the type of show that really couldn’t have a second season. Seems like it was a bad artistic choice at the very least, in addition to all the stuff you said.
oh my gosh Athena, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks with you. Know that you and your friend and his family are in my prayers. Gosh, so truly tragic. You’re so right. There did not need to be a second season. Or, frankly, a first season. Gosh, keeping you close in my heart and prayers during this devastating time. hang in there friend. big hugs xo
Yes! Yes! Yes! I have not watched it for all the reasons you highlight. Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful post regarding a heartbreaking topic! I will share this on my FB as I know quite a few young adults who watch and defend this show. I hope this offers them some perspective. God bless you!
Thanks so much Teresa. Yeah it was super disturbing and I do not recommend it to anyone!! Thank you for passing the post along 🙂 big hugs to you friend xox
I won’t be watching, that’s for sure. Sounds horrible. I meant to watch the first season because I wanted to see for myself what it was like, but I never did. So irresponsible marketing this to teens and just, well, awful. Thanks for your honest explanation of the show (even though I cringed while reading about that bathroom scene) and your opinion. Hugs! Jenny xx
Yeah I think that’s a good decision, Jenny. It really is so irresponsible of Netflix. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Amen! Spot on. I’m glad I didn’t see that and and glad my family dumped Dish and TV stations (have a TV still for our own DVDs we choose to watch) back in 2011. Thank you for voicing what needs to be said about such harmful programs out there. God bless.
Thanks friend. Yeah – it is seriously such disturbing material. Gg
*hugs
Deeply disturbing! 😢😠
It really is. So sad. Thanks Mia. Hugs and love xox
On your brief description of the series, it sounds like there’s a “philosophy” of witchraft (an oxymoron!). In particular, with the central place of accusation and spirits.
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And yes, good advice; do not watch it.
It’s pretty disturbing. Thanks David.
While the ‘bad is out there’ maybe if more people focus on the ‘good out there’, less attention is given to the ‘bad’. Bad is just more attractive than good. Good news never sells. I don’t mean to trivialize, many valid points in your post. But there’s no way to ‘stop’ this….the World is the Devil’s playground. Turn off Netflix. Turn off TV. Stop feeding our minds junkfood from utube. Take care!
There is alot of sickness in the world. Especially psychological and mental illness. Pray for those who suffer from the temptation to take their own lives.
I tried reading the book, but I couldn’t get very far. I can’t even imagine watching the show. It just sends so wrong to glorify this topic. My friend suffers with all sorts of mental health issues, and she things the story is great. I feel like i can’t tell her my thoughts on the book/show without partaking myself, but I just can’t. Thanks for sharing and for the Biblical perspective. I just keep praying for the right way to discuss this show with my friend.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I will definitely join you in that prayer. Yeah it definitely is difficult and challenging subject matter to navigate. Hugs and love xox
Wow! This is AWFUL! Thanks for the info. though I wish we didn’t need to post or warn about or against such disgusting things being made…it should have never been created in the first place. Sin is ugly and has no boundaries…as we can see with this series. 😢 My heart breaks about this. Thanks for sharing!!!
Thanks friend. Yeah my heart breaks too. Disgusting is the right word for sure Hugs and love xox
I read the book about a year or so after it was published. The book is actually pretty good, in my opinion. However, as soon as I heard that Netflix was releasing a TV series based on the book, I made a conscious decision to NOT WATCH IT. I’m so glad that I haven’t done so, and I definitely don’t plan on changing my mind.
Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite verses – Both my college sorority, Alpha Sigma Tau, and my educational sisterhood, P.E.O., use it in our ceremonies. It has such a special meaning to me.
As someone who was first exposed to someone dying by suicide at age 13, it’s been hard. Several church members have died by suicide. The first instance, when I was 13, was a young man in our youth group who was 12. He had been bullied. Most of those that I have known have been young men or grown men, but there have been a couple of women. They range in age – The youngest was 12. The oldest was in his mid-50s. In 2014, there were three men that died by suicide within two weeks of each other. All of them had been struggling with mental illness, or an addiction of some sort.
As my parents and I were driving back from Florida this week – My mom’s brother passed away after complications from a stroke – we were discussing our family trees. I started to get a clearer picture of mental illness, suicide attempts, and suicide from several sides of my family. Very frightening and compelling. However, I’m grateful my mom was so open and candid with me. It’s not stigmatized in our family, and I’m grateful for that. We’re also very strong Christians, so I definitely see that connection / correlation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Continue being a bright light!
Yeah that was such a good decision not to watch it. Oh gosh I’m sorry to hear that this has touched your life so personally. Gosh that breaks my heart. So tragic. And I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family during this difficult time. You’re right- knowing Christ is such a huge catalyst for positive change. Hugs and love xox
Thank you so much for your kind words, love, and support! They mean the world to me. XOXO
Much love my friend. Much love 🙂
Tragic. Season one was hard enough to get through. I’ll be skipping season two.
Yeah I think that’s a good decision, Ruth Anne. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
First. Thank you so much for liking some of my blog posts! Second. I am very inspired by your honesty and faith and your frankness in speaking on topics for young people. Thank you for fighting the good fight!
Thanks friend. That’s very kind of you to say. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this. Parents need to be warned that this is not a light hearted teen show. Our children must be careful what they see and hear-it impacts them more than we know.
Thanks Sallie – you’re so right. Hugs and love xox
ok so I understand where you are coming from, but here’s the thing. Bullying does happen in every single school, no matter where you are. If you find me even just one single school where it doesn’t happen than please I would gladly transfer there.
2. Whatever happened in that scene with Taylor is not the norm. Does it have to be the norm for something to be alerted? This is why we are where we are. A lot of people even doctors saying that oh no worries you don’t have depression or bipolar disorder that is just the norm for teenagers to be sad. Just because it’s the norm doesn’t make it right. We should start talking about something before it becomes a trend. Who knows maybe that kind of thing happens more often is just that people are too ashamed to talk about it and no one ever finds out and these things keep happening in the dark and left unpunished.
3. God. Where was God when Jessica and Hannah got raped?
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. you bring up a lot of really great points. It’s hard to understand why bad things happen. but i do know that he weeps for us, and he is with us during the pain. Evil is very real, and He gave us free will. I don’t have the answers but i do know that He can make beauty from ashes and heal our brokenness. Hugs and love xox
[…] you for all your insightful comments on Monday’s post about 13 Reasons Why, Season Two. It was so great to read your thoughts, and have a dialogue about […]
I thought it was extremely well done, thought provoking and entertaining. I see where you are coming from but they straight up say before episode 1 starts “if you struggle with depression etc etc this show may not be for you.”
So, if you choose to watch it and watched the whole thing, no matter how you SAY you felt about it, you must have enjoyed it enough to finish it.
Ssn 2 actually shows how selfish a decision it is to commit suidice. However, it is YOUR OWN LIFE and you have every right to take it should you choose to… unlike abortion which is taking another life at it’s most helpless and innocent.
This program sounds incredibly spiritually dark – in practically every conceivable way. I suspect that it will take some time for the images that you have seen to fade. 😢
Not having seen the show, I’d classify it as one that is “intentionally irresponsible,” because the powers who are care primarily about ratings and money, and are not considering the long-term (and possibly permanent) consequences that such a program causes.
It’s all part of a carefully crafted world system that a) promotes the worship of self (narcissism) above all else; b) removes God from His rightful place; and c) propogates a breathlessly cruel deception leading to permanent and eternal consequences for those who are drawn in by it.
Also, there was a section of your post that was too graphic for me to read, but I commend you for calling out these shady charlatans nonetheless and holding them to account.
I will be praying for you and this incredible platform for ministry that the Lord has given you. May the Lord continue to guide and prosper all that you do in His name. 💛✝️
Spiritually dark – that is a great descriptor. You’re right. I’m still haunted by many of the images from last year. Amen to everything you said. I’m sorry for that section. I debated including it in my post but I felt I needed to share the degree of horror the show displayed. Thank you for your prayers. Hugs and love xox
You were obeying the Holy Spirit by writing that post, even though doing so must’ve been heart-rending. Still, saying nothing would have been far harder for you, I imagine.
At any rate, please be gentle with yourself. I’m glad to read that you are in Ohio for a bit – enjoy your time there! And keep doing what the Bible teaches – cling to that which is good (your blog is all about that). Darkness may seem to have its day for a moment, but let’s remember that the battle has already been won, and that light triumphs over darkness! The Good Guy wins in the end. ✝️💛😀
My daughter attempted suicide last year. I wrote about it on my blog on Lyricslatteslifelessons.com in a post called Pocket Full of Shoestrings.
It was a horrible ordeal. It was the hardest 10 days of my life driving an hour to and from Dallas Children’s Hospital where I left my 16-year-old daughter in the psych ward. She’s doing great now thanks to great therapy programs they had there – but hands down it was the worst months of my life coping with the aftermath.
During the family therapy sessions, the other parents whose teens were in the unit and I had whole shouting/sobbing sessions about how the hell to get 13 Reasons off the air. My daughter literally almost died and Selena freaking Gomez was encouraging it. How dare she. How dare her team. What the actual…
Anyway. Good blog as usual my friend. This is why I read you.
Also, it took me so long to read/comment because I’m recovering from a hysterectomy I had last week. I’ll catch up on all your great writing that I missed.
God bless,
Melissa
Oh my gosh Melissa, I am so sorry to hear that. Gosh my heart goes out to you and your daughter. Gosh I wish i could give you a big hugs. Praise God that she is doing well. I’m so glad to hear that. I know. I am with you on that — how DARE Selena Gomez?! She and her team KNOWS that ALL her fans that *worship her every move and decision* are TWEENS AND TEEN!!! it just makes me so upset. Thank you for sharing your story Melissa. Praying for your recovery, and for your daughters continued recovery. Sending so much love xox
Love you girl! And I love your pen! Never stop writing.
Thank you again 💛💛💛
Thank you for your insight! I did not know nor could I ever imagine a show being that graphic. While the people responsible may have good intentions, it seems careless to me. I am a sexual abuse surviver and I know violent images can retrigger PTSD. (Other people may just become desensitized if not already) They do not assist most people with healing. I cannot speak for everyone, but Jesus has been faithful to me through the healing process which has taken years, dispite all the times I’ve been angry with Him.
My second cousin by marriage committed suicide at age 18 and he was not being bullied-he was very popular, and sucessful and seemed happy. . It was sad and senseless. It was also not anyone’s elses fault, though family and friends often feel guilty. He left behind a song just claiming he felt empty and that the feeling left him angry and not liking who he was becoming. That’s it. The song has NOT become a top hit in his honor. He’s gone. His family is left picking up the peices.
I have probably said too much but I want you to know I am thankful that someone had the courage to watch the show and warn others who would find it harmful for themselves and their loved ones. I share your frustration. Thanks again! Tara
Thanks Tara, for sharing your story. Gosh I am so sorry that you had to go through that. And my goodness, My heart breaks to hear about your second cousin. That is so tragic. Yeah this show is so incredibly harmful. Sending you so much love my friend xox
The topics associated with this series is definitely not something we want to encourage to our already troubled teens. Being a teen is extremely difficult and unstable day to day. It’s a time we all go through in our lives, our hormones are imbalanced causing all sorts of thoughts and actions. The biggest factor in my opinion regarding the all time high rates of mental health and other serious matters are solely based on the current state of affairs of our world. Teens now are dealing with so much more issues in their everyday lives that they feel powerless about. Feeding them these very negative and in some sort of twisted justifiable way is poison more so than a remedy.
Thank you for sharing, I have not watched but I’ve been meaning to. After reading your article I am certain I won’t be watching it.
Thank you friend. Yeah teens have so many things they have to wrestle through. My heart goes out to them. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing these truths about that horrid show. Praying that it falls apart. May it be shielded of the generations to come and those now. Ugh. I watched the first episode in season 1 and it didn’t sit right in my spirt. I told my teenage daughter she was NOT allowed to watch it. And after reading this I’m sooo glad the Holy Spirit prompted me to keep her away. Oh that our next generation would rise up in truths of the wickedness of this world. And may God bless and use more influencers like yourself to shed light to these awful shoes. God bless you! ❤️
I watched Season 1 because it was I also wanted to be able to join the conversation with my adult children when they talk about it. I wanted to watch Season 2 hoping for a happy ending, but when I did, I was extremely disappointed. The story became so twisted and disturbing as it depicted teenagers as sexually promiscuous and capable of extreme violence. Maybe it aimed to be socially relevant with the issues of mental health and gun violence but in a totally unhelpful way. I am an adult and this is how I feel about it. It is worrying how a younger audience would feel and react if they ever watch this.Thank you for an honest review of this show.
I so agree, Dehl. It was so disturbing. I’m not naive – there is promiscuity and bullying in teen life, but the “normal reality” they depicted was taken WAY to the furthest extreme!! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox
I was in a real dark place not so long ago. I considered some very dark things. I think 13RW was good because it got people talking about it. Nobody should deal with that kind of thing alone. Kids have been dealing with these issues in silence and if it wakes people up and gets them talking that can only be a good thing. I know 13RWS2 was hard viewing but the important things can’t always be easy. Sometimes hard discussions need to be had.
FYI the book is brilliant.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m sorry to hear that you were having a rough season. You’re right – the tough conversations are the important ones. Hugs and love xox
I feel a bit sick reading this as I have a teen who feels under pressure to have a perfect life on social media and also struggles with feeling excluded to the point of having suicidal thoughts. This sounds like it could really tip some teens over the brink. I don’t like the idea 13 reasons why. In the end, you have to take responsibility for your own actions. There was a suicide in the local school recently and the worst thing for everyone was the sense of loss. A beautiful unique person had gone and the kids had to come to terms with the fact that they couldn’t communicate any more – no more kind words and no taking back harsh ones.
Gosh, yeah I am so sorry to hear that. How tragic. You’re right – it is a final, nonretractable decision that leaves everyone devastated. Hugs and love xox
Caralyn, I would watch out if I were you. If Selena Gomez is all that you write about here, she will probably get wind (beyond your rising popularity). After all, she does CLAIM to be Christian, but I don’t imagine you’ll be besty’s with her in a week after this. I’m not trying to say anything. Just…I’ve met people in my life who are not very nice, and the world really is a small place.
oh i doubt she will ever get wind of this
I watched season 1…to be honest the rape scenes to me were worse than the suicide scene. I couldn’t stand to watch them. They went too far that I can’t remotely think it damaged the actors doing that. I did read they needed emotional support dogs while filming. I understand sexual assualt or rape really damages a woman which may lead to suicide…I don’t need it graphically pointed out as part of the plot.
I was not planning on watching season 2. Mostly because it didn’t solve anything when it came to suicide prevention or invoke God or even love from somebody into the conversation. It was like some nilihistic high school were nothing but apathy, death, destruction, and woe happens. High school usually has some fun times to it too.
In fact I just cut Netflix…there are better uses of my time than giving money to that.
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this Earl. Yeah it was incredibly graphic and disturbing. something that is seared in my mind. yeah i think that was a wise decision to cut your subscription. honestly after them greenlighting such a harmful show, i don’t want to put any more money in their pocket either. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for your work on this issue. I keep thinking about your “I call BS” comment; until more and more of us do that very thing, the mess our kids get exposed to will never improve. Growing up is hard enough for them as it is. Prayers and good wishes from Kentucky– Mike
thank you so much Mike for sharing your thoughts on this. I think you’re so so right about that. we need to be diligent about what they’re exposed to. the crap out there on the internet is the wild wild west and they’ve literally got access to it from their pockets. Hugs and love xox
I only saw part of season one, but I think you’re absolutely correct. The whole time I kept thinking – this could honestly give people the wrong idea. I had a friend who was suicidal and though she didn’t go through with it (thank goodness), I could see how a show like 13 Reasons Why could give her a glorified validation of her actions.
I wanted to thank you so much for sharing this! I haven’t watched to show but from what you’ve described, I am soo disgusted. It’s horrifying to think that this sort of material is out there for kids to just pick up and watch.
Yeah it may start some conversations, but honestly, what if it doesn’t? This kid/teen/adult now has these images embedded into their mind and heart.
What happens when there is a kid/teen/adult that has some confidence issues/lack of trust/or suicidal thoughts and then starts thinking about this sort of thing? I know that Selena Gomez and others have said that this show was meant to raise awareness for suicide, but in reality, it shows the hurting person that this is a way out, and you’ll even get some attention for doing it.
This is so crazy and so incredibly sad.
And what you said about the show erasing the totality and finality of suicide is so completely true!! It is very sad that this isn’t shown in the show.
Thank you so much for your time in writing this out!
Blessings,
Aubrey
Thank you so much Aubrey for sharing your thoughts on this. It really is completely horrifying. So true. Hugs and love xox
Thank You for this. I did watch it, as well. Sitting back and being a being a bullied kid, myself, I thought, “Wow, If I had watched this back then, I would not be here now.” Honestly, I may have been one of the “Copycats”. I don’t think people that makes these shows really truly care about the people they are targeting. Instead, they care about the political statements they make.
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that you were bullied growing up. That makes my heart hurt, because you did not deserve that. You bring up such a great point. They need to take more responsibility for what they’re putting out there. Hugs and love xox
[…] BeautyBeyondBones wrote a great article that pretty much mirrors my thought about the show. You can … […]
thanks for the share! Hugs and love xox
Thank you so much for writing about this! I, too, am writing a post about it. I agree 100%. Having an 8th grader right now, this really woke the Mama Bear in me! We have got to get the word out!!
Thank you so much Nita, yeah it would make the mama bear in me too!! big hugs to you xox
Thanks so much for this post. I’ve debated watching the show and haven’t yet. While I want to be part of the conversation, I’m not sure I could stomach sitting through season 1, let alone season 2, for the numerous reasons you present in your post. It’s too bad that they have chosen to use their platform this way, instead of pointing out the finality of suicide and how to keep someone from taking their own life when we recognize the signs.
Yeah, it was a really disturbing show. If they really wanted to create content that actually helped, they would have gone about it much much much differently. Hugs and love xox
I couldn’t agree more. You don’t start constructive conversations about dangerous behavior by glorifying it. Also agree with you that what is missing is the truth and hope found in Jesus. Thanks for shining light!
Thanks Nanette. Amen to that! He is the source of all healing and resolution. Hugs and love xox
Thank heaven’s you wrote this and spared me those graphic scenes that would have been hard to get out of my mind. Thank you
Thank you so much Bethany. Yeah it was so disturbing and graphic. glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
[…] Season two of the show 13 Reasons Why was recently released on Netflix, and reading this incredible post from blogger Beauty Beyond Bones has inspired me to also discuss the dangers of […]
thank you for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Listen, I am a grown adult and my husband and I after a few episodes in BOTH started to feel depressed. I turned it off and don’t think I’ll even be watching the rest of the season. It’s just too much. The presence of Hannah’s “spirit” just makes it worse. I thought it was just me. You hit this thing on the head.
thank you for sharing that, Stephanie. You’re so right – too much. I know – it was so difficult to watch. Hugs and love xox
I watched the second season. Due to recent events in our world, the last episode was hard to watch. Too real and too close to home for me. The bathroom scene almost made me throw up. As I read your article, I thought to myself – if you’re going to have a series that motivates conversations, you HAVE to SHOW that there’s a better way to handle whatever storm you’re facing. Wish someone out there would have a copycat show titled “13 Reasons WHY You Shouldn’t. There’s not enough being said about THE ONE (like you said) who can give you the strength to overcome the crap the world throws at you. HIS love never fails, so why are we so afraid to say/share it?
Yeah it was incredibly hard to watch for sure. Yeah, it gave me a pit in my stomach too. Amen! it never fails! Hugs and love xox
I procrastinated in responding to this post because I do not agree with your perspective and before I responded, I wanted to make sure I did not express simply emotional outrage. In some ways, I had to wonder if you were not presenting a counter argument to watching it because you maybe feel that many people will do exactly the opposite of what is suggested to verify if you are right. I truly believe you motivated more people to watch it by saying don’t watch it.
I have to say you must have binge watched it too. I started watching it the day or day after it came out and was on the 2nd or 3rd episode when you announced you had watched the entire season. Wow, I thought.
Are there some things I don’t like in the season 1 and season 2, absolutely? As a father of 5, 3 of them girls, I truly was grateful for the topic 13 reasons presented. It gave me grounds to talk to my girls, really only one is still in school, but it gave me a foundation to talk. Maybe I did not have to talk about her directly, but we could talk about the show, what influenced her, what she found informative, what did she identify with and so on.
I heard a lot about glorifying suicide, for some reason it never came across to me like that. I heard about the copycat suicides, and I emphasize with that totally, but in all my years of life, we have always had “copycats” of something that is awful that our news industry would report. They even tried to say video games motivated kids to do change their behavior and do rotten things” Yet, when we watch prime time TV, even cartoons, there are so many things kids are exposed to which we could all claim influence their behavior. I mean, they are advertising ED medicine during dinnertime, they had condom commercials on TV with a guy and a girl placed chest to chest and then graphically have them partially overlap each other. There is just so much, like drinking is glorified, violence in glorified. This is where I like 13 reasons, maybe, maybe it glorifies it some, but the topic and the drama is real and brings a topic out of the shadows and to the forefront so we, like you, me, my kids and all the people who witness this blog can share their feelings, experiences and all of this goes to hopefully help those that need help to get it, rather than for us to sit on the sidelines wishing we could of done something.
God Bless!
Hi friend. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on 13RW. I appreciate hearing your POV as a parent. I’m glad that the program was beneficial for you and your family. It definitely brought a lot of critical issues to light. Thanks for the food for thought. Hugs and love xox
It’s good to chat with you again. God Bless you!
Glad we are friends, I appreciate you very much. Nice to hear from you! God Bless you!!
Ditto!!
Beautiful post! I work at a mental health agency, so this show is a hot topic around the workplace with some taking the same position as you and others not. I think the most important thing the show does is start a conversation whether good or bad. I’ve known friends and family that I’ve lost due to suicide so this show is probably one of the most personal shows I’ve ever watched.
Thank you Mo. I’m sure it is a huge topic of convo in your field. Gosh I’m so sorry to hear that t hits so close to home. Sending lots of love. Xox
Thank God you wrote this. I had exactly these thoughts that the second season was worse than the first and the way it ended, it would do more harm than good. I wanted to write something like this on my blog but did not thinking that I don’t quite understand the American society as an American would. But coming from you with such honesty is definitely a pleasant surprise. I am also so happy that you are a believer of Christ, like myself and that you use your blogging platform to proclaim the truth. I was so hurt by her parents’ stand on the church and yet they wanted a service in her name in the Church. If this isn’t hypocrisy, what is? Thank you again. Such a delight to read from a fellow believer.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m so glad it resonated with you. Yeah such a harmful show to be out there for kids and adults alike. Hugs and love xox
I don’t have Netflix, but if I did there would be No way I would allow a teenager to watch that TV programme after what you wrote about it
We all need to complain to Netflix rather than allow such trash to continue Christains need to take a stand against programmes like this
We need to be bold as you have been, bless you for your continued fight as a Christian
Yeah it is so harmful. SO harmful. Thanks Graham. Hugs and love xox
“13 Reasons Why” was on my list to watch on Netflix, but you’ve convinced me to remove it. I’m not the target audience, but just wanted to see what the “buzz” was about, but I felt you’re frustration and disgust in this post. It appears that God is being excluded from popular culture…period. People are becoming less and less religious with each generation, and atheism seems to be on the rise. I don’t know if this is an agenda by Hollywood to push this message, or Hollywood is simply mirroring society. There will always be a counter argument, people echoing “well, don’t watch it”, and if that’s their argument, fine. But, personal responsibility has to come into the equation at some point, and what we consume on a regular basis will begin to shape who we are as a person.
Thanks Aquila. Yeah definitely one I would not recommend. Amen to that! Hugs and love xox
I have boycotted this show from the get go. The whole premise makes suicide appear to be an act of revenge, and I think there is already enough of that out there. The instinct for survival is one of the strongest we have, and we only get past that barrier when our pain becomes so deep and all encompassing that oblivion is preferable. I have not ever been actually suicidal, but I have felt that kind of pain. Victim blaming helps nothing and nobody.
Yeah I don’t blame you. It is doing so much harm and people don’t even realize! I’m sorry that the show huts so close to home. Sending so much love and Hugs xox
Terrible waste, they should not glorify such travesty. There has to be a better way to get the message out to those who are in trouble.
I totally totally agree Connie. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
[…] want happy end for this characters. Although my post is very messy, i highly recommend you to read this by beautybeyondbones. I think it’s much more clear and it says things which i just […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
I wish I had read this before I watched season two. I did watch one and felt the same way you did about it. It’s irresponsible. I watched the second season and to say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was in pieces.
I agree with most of what you say with the exception of one thing. Heroin addiction among teens is at pandemic proportions in our country. The average overdose death is early to mid twenties. My son was 25 when he died.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope it prevents some young people from watching the show.
Oh Veronica, I wish i could be giving you a big hug right now. my heart breaks reading this. i am so sorry for your loss, my dear friend. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you’ve endured. Yes – we need prayers and the media to be more responsible for the content they are putting out there for our impressionable youth. Sending so much love to you friend. Thank you for sharing your story. xoxooxoxoxox
❤️
xoxox 🙂
[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2018/05/21/13-reasons-why-watch-your-thoughts/ […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox