Cuffing Season?

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ONTO THE POST!

Well, it’s officially fall. I don’t know where the summer flitted off to, but somehow, here we are.

Pumpkin spice lattes are back with a vengeance. Chunky sweaters are being exhumed from the depths of our closets and dusted off for good measure.

But if you’re anything like me, the arrival of the chillier weather means only one thing: cuffing season.

Now, let’s be honest here…this is a recent occurrence. I haven’t always been a gal that lets my romantic longings be influenced by a calendar happenstance.

But, here we are. Welcome to life as a single millenial.

According to urban dictionary, “The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be in a serious relationship, aka cuffed.”

I nearly spit out my Le Croix when I read that definition. So accurate it’s funny.

But I was out with my friends this weekend, and I’ve gotta say: in regards to a romantic prospect…it was painfully dismal.

Not for a lack of attempts. And except for a 22 year old model that couldn’t yet grow facial hair, I was completely uninterested.

And another thing, you go to a bar and everyone is preoccupied with their phones. It’s like…Come on! Can’t you do that at home? Look up from the screen and be social, dang it!

I don’t know. Maybe it was just an off night, but there just weren’t any guys who caught my fancy.

And, riding home in my Uber that night, I was a bit discouraged. I mean, let me set the scene here: “going out” with my friends now is not just a social endeavor anymore. I am husband hunting. I am on the lookout: dressed to the absolute nines. Hair done. Nails “did.” If tonight’s the night that God’s going to bring Him into my life, Dang it, I am ready.

But lurching and swerving across Manhattan through traffic on Houston St, I came to a very powerful realization.

Earlier that night, I had been surrounded by such wonderful friends. These people bring so much joy to my life, and truly make my heart so full of love and exuberant light. I am blessed beyond measure.

But it got me thinking: Here I was, surrounded by all these incredible relationships that God put into my life.

You all know my story, and how I completely shut people out of my life in isolation for a good two years during my anorexia. And so as a result, friends are precious to me. And driving home, taking an inventory of all those incredible people who God has placed in my life, it is incredible. Gets me choked up to think of how good He is, and how, like a good Father, He has provided exactly what I need and more.

He has fulfilled my heart’s desire for fellowship with friends, and helped me bloom and restore that part of my life to the absolute fullest. He provided exactly what I need.

What makes me doubt that He’s not going to do the exact same with my future husband?

If that’s how abundantly God provides when it comes to my friends, just imagine how He is going to provides when it comes to my soul mate. 

How could I be so doubtful in His generosity and control of all things?

God loves to give us everything we desire in our hearts. He loves to provide in abundance. I need to quit being so impatient, and just trust that God is working things behind the scenes. I’ve never once questioned God’s ability to bring relationships into my life thus far. Why start now?

Look around, Caralyn. I am surrounded by friends and loved ones who have all been hand picked by the Father, to set my spirit free, and tap into the part of my heart that desires to be loved and known.

The part of my heart that, one day, will be made complete by my future husband.

I guess I am still growing. Still learning, healing, evolving. God will bring Him into my life when I am ready by His standards.

I trust that.

He’s never let me down. Not once. His timing is always perfect. Always for a purpose. Never rushed. Always on time.

I need to stop letting my heart by influenced by what the earthy calendar dictates, and instead, find peace in His timeline. Because at the end of the day, “cuffing season” is a stupid concept, anyway.

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121 responses to “Cuffing Season?”

  1. Someday your prince will come. But you don’t need a man to complete your heart. “Mr. Right” will COMPLIMENT your heart and increase your Godly super powers ten fold, Carolyn.

    This is coming from the 50ish year old father of three 20 something year old men.

    Reply

  2. Prayers for you and your future husband! He’ll be the luckiest guy ever as you’re a great great catch. I read another one of your blogs about a far that you won’t be enough for him…I really believe that you’re going to be more than enough for him.

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  4. Hum, lets play devil’s advocate…..of your male friends circle, does any of them like to eat like you, travel, have a lot in common-yet interests you in his individuality, gives you personal space, respects and enjoys Your company too?….. Maybe he’s right there, but feels unworthy of letting you know.

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  5. “Cuffing Season?” New one on me. Never heard of it before, but I get the intent. And I get the lonely feeling! I think I’ve told you before how I can remember my arms physically aching for want of a hug. I never thought I was going to meet the right woman, but I did.

    Well, I’ve written and scrapped several things to tell you, but I keep sounding inane. How about the basics? You have become beautiful beyond the bones. You’ve gained strength and courage. Your light continues to shine and grow. Young enough to be my daughter, you’ve been a source of inspiration and a blessing to me. You will not go unnoticed.

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    • Thank you Jeff. So many wonderful words here. Haha yeah definitely a newer term to be too! Thank you friend. Big hugs to you and Julie 🙂 x

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  6. Lovely!
    I laughed at the ‘husband hunting’…he might be right under your nose at a time when you just happen to not be dressed to the nines. 😉

    Enjoy your friends in the meantime…💙💟

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  7. Visiting your blog is tidy goodwill. I thought here about your membership in the social class of millennials. Isn’t it the way that we can define a group by its education and ability, and in the same breath as its age?

    Good luck.

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  8. You’re exactly right as usual. Trust Him, always. “He’s never let me down. Not once. His timing is always perfect. Always for a purpose. Never rushed. Always on time.” I read recently that some young women put up with and even marry the “guy” they’re with because they’re afraid he’s the last boat off the island of singleness. So what if he is? Our God is great enough to send a helicopter! 🙂 And He’s teaching some wonderful, Godly man to fly as we speak! Excellent encouragement! Have a great week! 🙂

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    • Thank you Kenneth! Oh gosh that’s a scary thought – yeah we’ve gotta wait on the Lord and His perfect timing! Bring on the helicopter! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  11. You are an amazingly honest person. What you see is what you get. No masks to hide your real person. You are definitely on my prayer list. Many people looking at all you’re involved with would be awed by your success. You’re a super achiever with the centrality of your life the most important, God!. 🙂

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  12. I thought I needed to let you know that you are officially one of my friends and that I am praying for you. Seriously. And that I have the same faith in God as you concerning this and every issue of your life. By the way, I thank God for you for realizing just how faithful God has been to you up till now.

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    • oh gosh thank you for your prayers and friendship. this truly means so much 🙂 right back atcha! Hugs and love xox

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  13. Thank you for this! I’m 6 months single after two years and while right now I’m in no rush (with my dating history, I would rather remain single than marry someone subpar), I know that impatient feeling will come and go. Glad I have this post for reference when that comes!

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  15. I’ve witnessed the calm of waiting from the other end. As the father of 3 sons (oldest is 22 and he can grow a powerful beard) I watch them interact with the opposite sex with integrity, politeness, and chivalry. That’s the way my wife and I raised them. I post this to let you know that the kind of Godly men you are waiting for are out there (in this case, they are in Chicago).

    Oh, and one more thing: my wife and I have been regularly praying for our sons’ wives, even though we have most likely not met them yet!

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    • A few months after I was born (nearly 30 years ago!) a friend of my parent’s asked whether they were praying for my future friends and husband. Though initially perplexed–she’s only 6 weeks old!–since then, they have continually prayed that me and my siblings would be surrounded by good people. (For the most, we have.) A few weeks before my 25th birthday, I met “The One” and came to know an entirely new form of unconditional love, and I think waiting until I was just a little wiser and more mature was all part of the plan! 😊💕

      Reply

      • Wow tha is just so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your love story. There really is power in prayer! Hugs and love xox

    • thank you Ed, this is such an encouragement. Sounds like you’ve raised some truly stand up guys! Hugs and love xox

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  16. Soulmates are rare and that is what makes them so special; they are seldom found in real life. My beloved Pat and I were lucky enough to find that love that is basic to life itself. Soulmate love is like your love for God – you love your soulmate with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. To feel such a love is truly extraordinary but it is forever. When Pat and I first met we felt we had known each other all our lives; it is why I proposed on that first date. Though she didn’t say yes right away, she did feel an elusive fondness and attraction that did grow into true love. As the poet Rumi says, “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along.” You also don’t finally find your home somewhere out there; it is within you all along; you just discover it. I pray that you will discover your soulmate someday soon!

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    • thank you so much for this incredible encouragement. I love hearing about your love. it is so beautiful. thank you for your prayers. Hugs and love xox

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  17. I knwo you are too smart to make the mistakes I made as a single Christian woman. I kept trying to ‘push God’ to bring my husband faster. This only lead to one disastrous relationship after another. ‘It ain’t over ’til it’s over!’. And it is not over until Jesus comes. God’s got this. Your man is out there but maybe God still has him ‘in the kiln’? Hang in there. Keep going home. You just never know what God will do.

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  18. God always provides. Cities are tough, especially these days. Sure, there’s quantity, but you have to do a lot of sifting to find quality. Keep at it!

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  19. I was 25 before I met my husband and thought it would NEVER happen. Once I humbly accepted that Jesus was really all I needed and that I was perfect as I was with Him, he sent me a husband to team with for His glory. Just sharing that. God is first and He knows best. Worse to be with the wrong guy than God who loves you more than any guy could.❤

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  20. Oh boy I got all the feels when I read this one! I know exactly what you mean and where you are at. It is so very true that God will place that awesome partner for you to share life when He knows it’s the right time and the right person for you. He truly provides in greater ways than we could ever begin to imagine. I met my husband when I was just shy of turning 31. I thank God every day because He knew that was the right time to bring him into my life. For both of us. We had other things to figure out and live through before we could fully come together and appreciate one another. God will so provide for you! Hugs.

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    • oh gosh, thank you so much Yvonne! I’m so glad it resonated with you! And thank you for sharing your love story – so beautiful! Hugs and love xox

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  22. An email newsletter? How exciting! Signed up 😉

    I’ll pray for your future husband as well as for mine. We need to be open to love and ready to give ourselves, but in the end it will come when He wants. And it will be the perfect time!

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    • awesome! thank you so much! and thank you for your prayers. I’ll definitely be praying for you and your future husband as well! Hugs and love xox

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  27. Well hello there beautiful! I loved this! Please sign me up for your newsletter, I love to read! arnettalane1980@gmail.com. True friends are indeed a blessing and we should hold on tight to them. And lol, cuffing season, I never heard of that! That is hilarious. God will place the man that is just for you in your path when you least expect it. He did for me and I have to say to prayed for him for quite awhile. I am never going to let him go!

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  28. “God loves to give us everything we desire in our hearts. He loves to provide in abundance. I need to quit being so impatient, and just trust that God is working things behind the scenes.” This hit home! This is so true! God is so great that he knows exactly when to give us in its right time! Also, I talk about this a lot on my blog in where sometimes when I pray I just pray thanking the Lord for what he gives me because he already knows what I need. I think God gives us what we need instead of what we want and at his time. I learned being so patient over the years that I let God talk, and I just stay silent. I pray that your future husband is a man of the Lord and that he may be able continue to walk with you in faith. God bless you!

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    • He really does. Thanks friend. I’m so glad this resonated with you! And gosh thanks for your prayers, that seriously means the world. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers too! Hugs and love xox

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  31. “According to urban dictionary”… haha that caught me off-guard, always feel like I’m the only one, uneducated enough to be looking terms up in there. 😀
    And thanks for that like! Appreciating your openess in your posts a lot!

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  33. l’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle (Love that moves the Sun and all the other stars). Why would they care how well you dressed if they wanted to know the worth of your heart?

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      • I guess that wouldn’t be much of a story though. “I met him. He thought I was neat. Happy ending.” That Italian is from Dante’s Inferno. Dante, wrote a whole book while being exiled from his love. Dante’s story, kind of eclipses his love. I’m not that trendy so, I use the old stories. 😂

      • Courtship. That’s what’s missing. Constant contact, or the ability to find a thousand people you might like is not improving courtship. I figured it out just now. We have the five hours of the Bachelor each week because of the lack of courtship. The show, would have bombed in the sixties and seventies.

      • I think you’re right about that. haha can you imagine the bachelor in the 60s! what scandal!!

      • When I meet someone. I immediately think, am I that unhappy doing whatever I want all the time? Then, I stop talking to them. I’m about awful person. 😂

      • I’ve always been really independent. Dating is hard, you have to be a bit codependent. I wasn’t even codependent when I was married. Ha ha.

      • dating is definitely hard. I actually just read about book about how not to be codependent in dating

      • That’s good there’s books like that. My friends have all these dating problems. “What does he/she mean, though?” I’m like, trust and respect yourself. Then, you don’t have to decipher anything.

      • Also. It is not a determent to finding love dealing with tough issues like ED and the pressures that you’ve found solutions too. The right man would look at those things and love you anyways. Maybe, ask for the remote every now and then to yell at the television.

      • I’m telling you. If I grew up in the suburbs. 😂🙄 Was a decade younger… I’d go bother you in Manhattan. I don’t even like Manhattan. 😂 But, I’d go because you’re there.

  34. I found out what cuffing is, sugar daddies sponsoring young women. Sigh. It’s expected. Love, for sale. Someone tried to offer me this. Two women. I was like, no that’s weird I don’t have all kinds of money.

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      • mmmmm hmmm. 😳😂 I don’t like when that happens, “I’m pretty, buy me stuff.”

        I’m pretty. I’ll buy myself stuff. 😂

      • I’m kidding. I’m not pretty. Still, the expectation is very wrong those that do not lead with their heart. That’s what love is, I love you. As-is. If it gets better. Great.

      • thank you Kenzie, that seriously means so much. grateful for you in my life!

      • Oh. Okay. Ha ha. I mean, you’re okay. Ohhhh. Forgot to use quotes. (I love you without quotes. hahaha. whoops.) That’s just, how I love people. Everyone’s. I don’t know. A little different.

      • I really messed up that sentence. LOL. Crap. I don’t even know you. So. That’s creepy. Haha. I just don’t go saying that all the time. Its. Yeah. I messed that up. Sorry. I’m glad you said something ambgiuous and vague. That’s, what I would have did as well.

      • You could do better than me. I’m never around. I love that. I love that, one day a guy will come into your life that you won’t want to let go of. I love that you will be happy. It will be a good day.

      • I did think it was kind of odd though. 🤔 To make fun of one percenters at Fyre while with other one percenters at Sundance. 😂🙌🏻 🤷🏽‍♂️ Sure.

      • What else does it look like? $2,000 a night rooms. Park City residents having to move out for the more important classes. It’s why I never went. I may be a monster. I like equality.

      • It also provides incredible jobs and opportunities for the locals.

      • Meh. Does that offset the extra time it takes away from the community acting as fake as downtown LA for a month? How many locals actually get to have these opportunities? I know none that have stayed at the Lodge for $2,000 a night. Or, the better newer one. It’s all a facade. You wouldn’t know. That side of life, escapes you.

      • There’s an insincerity when you write on certain subjects being that, you’ll never want for anything in your life. Shake that off, and you might be good writer one day.

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