The Kavanaugh Senate Hearing

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What a day to be an American, huh? 

The Kavanaugh Senate hearing has captured the attention of the nation in a way that I haven’t seen since 9/11, truly. 

People were glued to the TVs – every news station covering it. I went to the grocery store this afternoon, and the audio was playing over the loudspeaker. 

I looked around and people were watching it live on their smart phones. 

It was like it was the OJ trial. I remember my mom carrying around one of those brick-like, portable black and white televisions from the 90s. 

I want to start out by saying that you’re not going to hear anything political on here today. If you’re looking for me to bash Kavanaugh or crucify the credibility of Dr. Christine Ford, you’re in the wrong place. I will be doing neither of those things here.

However, I do have something to say about another matter. 

And that is how we’re treating each other. 

Whether or not Kavanaugh did or didn’t sexually assault Dr. Ford at a high school party, I don’t know. Nor do I feel appropriate discussing such matters that happened 36 years ago.  

But what I do know, is that sadly, the narrative of what allegedly happened – high school boy taking advantage, sexually, of a sophomore girl – is far too common. FAR too common. 

High school was not that long ago for me, and I can still remember vividly being at parties where occurrences like this happened, or hearing about situations like that being bragged about in the halls. 

It is a gross reality that is going on in high schools, colleges, work places – heck, the behavior is rampant. 

I, myself, have been victim of sexual assault at a nightclub in NYC. 

And my response is this: 

We need to do better. 

We need to raise our boys better than this despicable, disgusting, animalistic behavior of taking advantage of women. 

And slow your roll, I know that women can be abusers as well. But the fact is, the vast, vast majority of cases of abuse are of men against women. 

And most cases never even see the light of day, due to shame, or embarrassment, or not wanting to “cause a fuss.”

But it is happening. 

I have to be honest…and what I’m about to say makes me feel deeply sorrowful that this thought even crossed my mind. But when I heard the specifics of the accusations, and that the alleged incident was from high school…my first thought was…”typical high school boy. Of course it could have happened…Frankly, haven’t we all heard a story like that?”

And again, I regret to admit that crossed my mind. 

We need to do better. We need to demand better. 

We need to instill in our young men the absolute necessity for respect. We need to teach our young men what it means to honor a woman, and treat her with dignity.

Honor her by speaking to her, speaking about her, and treating her with the utmost respect. 

Instead, thanks to music and media and porn, men refer to women as bitches and hoes, they brag about their sexual conquests, and expect women to behave as prostitutes in the bedroom. 

How did we get to this place? 

What can we do? 

Respect and honor go both ways. Women, if we want to be treated with respect, we need to a) demand it, and b) treat ourselves with the respect we desire and deserve.

And I don’t need to spell that out for you. 

I’m so sick and tired of hearing about the latest sexual misconduct from politicians, or artists, or athletes. I’m tired of it! And I’m sure you are, too. 

It makes me sick. 

It’s our Achilles heel, and preventing this country from moving forward and getting anything done. 

But all that being said, we absolutely cannot blanket this over all men. There are good men who do treat women with the respect and honor and dignity. Every man in my family and the company I keep, for example. Men that I would trust with my life, who live with an open door policy, and are incredibly upstanding, moral gentlemen.  

Photo: usatoday

And to that end, we cannot presume every allegation against a man is true. 

The assassination of character by false accusation is a new threat to men and young men in the #MeToo era that has mothers, sisters, wives and daughters fearful for the reputation of the innocent men in their lives. 

photo: usatoday

We are living in unprecedented times. Especially when there is so much political gain to be made or lost with the pointing of one finger. 

It can all be boiled down to one thing: the sanctity of human life: respecting our fellow human beings – and ourselves – seeing the soul and dignity within each person as a creation of God. 

It pains me that we are continuing to have to fill our minds and homes and television screens with violence against women. And true – or not – having to explain to our impressionable youth, about the filth that is out there in the world. 

I don’t know what did or didn’t happen with Kavanaugh. My heart breaks for the victim. But my heart also breaks for Kavanaugh – and his beautiful wife and children – who are having to wade through these accusations that I pray, and personally believe, are false. 

If this is all about trying to block the powerful pro-life changes that Kavanaugh could potentially make on the Supreme Court, then shame on democrats for this destructive steamroller agenda. 

OK, so I guess I couldn’t hide my personal feelings forever. 

We need to pray for our country. Now, more than ever. 

We have become a society that no longer values the sanctity and value of the human person. Not in the womb. Not in the world. People have become tools for our own advantage. We use them sexually. We will destroy a person to achieve personal, financial or political gain. We use each other. We don’t value or respect one another and the value and dignity we each possess. That’s the point.

We all need to do better. 

And in the words of Kavanaugh himself, “This is a circus,” and “I fear for the future.” 

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197 thoughts on “The Kavanaugh Senate Hearing

  1. I feel the same way, about all of it. Except in my case, I didn’t know of or witness anything like this in high school or college. I may have been living under a rock. 😀 Being paranoid, I suspect the Democratic party sought out this woman (Ford) and said, “We see you went to school with Brett Cavanaugh many years back.”

    To which she probably replied, “Yeah, nice guy. Too bad he’s become a Republican.”

    “Well about that…”

    It sickens me. They’re taking advantage of #MeToo.

    1. I really hope that’s not the case but sadly I fear you may be right about that. I agree. Hugs and love xox

      1. Why did you make that judgement? Your biased reply to that comment completely nullifies the fine balance you desperately tried to maintain in your post.

  2. “And to that end, we cannot presume every allegation against a man is true. 

    The assassination of character by false accusation is a new threat to men and young men in the #MeToo era” these comments mean a lot to me you have no idea, I’m still very fearful of repercussions even though I did nothing wrong and I wasn’t charged with anything, I’m fearful of future relationship(s).

  3. Hugs U!!!! Love too!!! Yes, our country is in a mess. Its as if we have no one left to look up to who doesn’t have something in their past on a serious level, that won’t come back some years later to be dragged out in a media circus. Judges, Politicians, Priests, Entertainers, Movie Directors, ANYBODY!! Bill Cosby’s sentencing was this week. What a sad trail that has all been!! Nobody in a position of any status or power cares for what they do to people anymore. Its sad. We need to pray for better!! We as not as high status as them need to try for better!! More hugs and love!! xoxoxoxo

    1. Thank you Miguel. You’re right – let’s pray!! It has been such a hard week for America. So true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

  4. A beautiful and heartfelt essay. We appear to be in times when evil is called good and good is called evil. It pains me to watch as our country seems to race to the bottom. I hope and pray you are heard.

  5. The accuser in this case is a professional and highly intelligent woman. She stayed quiet all these years and would have stayed quiet if the accused is not seeking a position in a judicial system than can impact so many lives. We should stop looking at it as republicans or democrats but as lack of moral values on all sides. Lastly as women I do not comprehend how we can instead of supporting our sisters we just turn against them which encourage the assaults by these low lives on them and we find excuses after excuses to cover up and to blame the victims. Enough said.

    1. If this highly intellectual woman was truly a victim she should have headed straight to authorities instead of politicians.
      This is an absolutely disgusting day to be an American.
      Shame on these democrats.

  6. High school was long ago, but I witnessed a lot of the same behavior back then in the 70’s. I personally prevented a rape and stopped a bunch of guys from mugging a girl. Thanks to media, it seems worse now, but I don’t know if it really is.

    I detest most all rap because most of it is about all the things you said. I know the excuse is that it’s about life. My response is borrowed form I play that was popular in the 70’s, Butterflies are Free. A young man was defending an offensive play he wrote in the same way. The adult woman listened and then replied, “So is diarrhea, but I don’t find it entertaining.”
    There is so much that God could heal, if only we hadn’t asked him to leave our country.

    Well, handled tonight, Caralyn!

  7. First of all, well done, as usual. There are so many angles to think about with the hearing today; I will stay with just one.

    I was born in 1959, and grew up in the ’60’s and ’70’s and its vaunted sexual revolution, with its mantra, “If it feels good, do it.” The sexual act was reduced to a recreational activity, and in some minds still is. But the hope I see in the increasing attention on sexual misbehavior, be it homosexual or heterosexual, is that more people are seeing that this isn’t okay. People are hopefully seeing that the sexual act should be reserved as something much more sacred than society’s attitudes had led us to believe. Hopefully the pendulum is swinging back in a positive direction, and I hope parents take increased responsibility to teach their young ones about a proper relationship with someone they come to care about.

    There will be more ugliness ahead before such a change is complete, but I want to hope that it is possible. God bless— Mike

  8. Well said! BTW, I woke up in Japan this morning to reports on the BBC World Service radio (by internet) of these Senate hearings. The whole world is listening and watching … May justice be done

  9. Exactly, we can believe Dr Ford because incidents like this happen. That was what the people who disclosed her story were banking on and that we would conclude that Judge Kavanaugh was just one more perpetrator. They did not count on the force of his denial and that he bolstered his case with his diaries and calendars. He knows he did not commit this assault.

  10. Thank you for the thoughtful and fair commentary. Personally I found Dr. Ford’s testimony to be compelling with the profound ring of truth.
    On the other hand, I found some of Judge Kavanaugh’s testimony to be absurd. For instance the boff reference in his yearbook. We all know what boff means, but Kavanaugh says it meant “farting”. Yes, that is what he said, I’m not lying, mistaken or making this up. That is what he said. There are other things such as this that he said that don’t have the ring of truth, or pass the common sense test as far as I’m concerned.
    Not that it matters, within this context, but I’m pro-life. There are other pro-life judges on Trump’s list that would serve the Supreme Court honorably.
    Is this hearing on Kavanaugh political? Yes it is. Both sides have engaged in political grandstanding. But Dr. Christine Ford is not part of a left wing political conspiracy. She just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. She is doing the right thing by coming forward.
    I have never been sexually assaulted, but I’ve known several women who have been. As horrible as this incident is, I personally don’t think that the incident itself disqualifies Judge Kavanaugh. If I were in the position of judging his candidacy, and he admitted to this, and apologized, I would take that in to account. But engaging in this activity and then lying about it, tells me that he hasn’t changed. It tells me that he doesn’t believe in the redemptive, freeing power of truth.

    1. Thank you friend. Yeah it was a very compelling hearing on all sides. She was incredibly well spoken and compelling and so was he. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

  11. You addressed the core issues rather than the secondary. Events like this are all too common, and this is what must be addressed. God may be launching me into this effort in the near future, to provide support and education. Your perspective is always appreciated.

    1. Thank you Matthew. I appreciate you taking the time to read and sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

  12. Le very well said again. Personally, I have not been watching the hearings. I have better things to do… like seeing places I have never seen before. That is more exciting than wooing at ladies who happen to be young enough to be their child.

  13. There is one high profile politician who isn’t the target of any sexual assault allegations: Mike Pence. And the reason for this is because he never allows himself to be alone in a room with a woman. Yet, many of the women who are taking Dr. Ford’s side are the same ones who said that Mike Pence’s decision not to put himself in potentially compromising situations was sexist and misogynistic and stuff like that. Sorry, liberal women, but you can’t have it both ways. If you’re going to promote a lifestyle where sex is cheapened to a form of entertainment with no emotional connection or commitment, and call it empowering, then you have to accept the fact that people are actually going to treat sex in this cheapened way and abuse other people and treat them like objects.

    Also, all those women who instinctively believe every sexual abuse allegation, where were they for Juanita Broaddrick?

    Sorry… I can’t say this in front of most of my other friends. I had to say it somewhere.

    (As a side note, while I certainly respect Mike Pence’s decisions on his lifestyle, it does not necessarily follow that any Christian man who is found alone in a room with someone who is not his wife is sinning. I don’t believe this to be true, and I’ve had some negative experiences with this level of legalism in my past, but that’s another story.)

    1. So so so many great points here. Thank you for sharing. Consider this a standing ovation. And I fully agree with you about mike pence. There is so much wisdom in that self protective measure. For him. For his family. For his reputation. It’s sad that thats what it’s come to. So glad you shared 🙂 big hugs xox

  14. Then again, too bad the real victims of the Catholic Church and the Pope don’t receive this level of support or coverage. Perhaps those true victims will never receive justice. There is no money to be made by ousting the Pope, they couldn’t care less.

  15. Once again you’ve been quite balanced in your observations. You are reinforcing what we already know but society has conditioned us over the years to keep silent about. Western society has conditioned us over the years and educated our children into thinking we have evolved, there is no God and consequently there is no moral standard. So why are we surprised to find we are now as humans acting like animals? Scientists say that’s what we came from. If they really believe that then they’d be quite comfortable with what’s going on in our Western world. I’m certainly not a prude, but I’m a wide reader and Gibbins Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire described in minute detail what is happening to our current civilization. Rather than evolving upward we are devolving in the most important thing that distinguishes us from the animals. We are losing a moral compass as we reject God and the principles our universe works to apart from this world. The funny thing though is our leaders like to try and fool us by putting on a religious cloak but intelligent people know that is fake news.

    1. Thank you so much Ian for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – we’ve removed God from society, so it really is no surprise. We’ve gotta pray. Gg

  16. Part of the problem is that women don’t act respectful or respect themselves. They show up half naked, they come on to guys, they dance disgusting in public, they do drugs, get drunk, do illegal things, and put themselves in bad positions. It’s like standing on a train track, at 3 a.m. drunk on coke wearing all black and surprised when you are hit by a train. If you don’t have your wits about you, you are asking for trouble. I’m not saying they deserve it, I’m saying they helped it happen. We need to teach our sons and daughter NOT to get drunk or do illegal drugs first off because when people aren’t of their right mind, bad things happen. We need to teach our daughters not to walk around like sex billboards and to act respectable. If they don’t respect themselves, NO ONE, male or female will respect them.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Dee. Powerful points here. Powerful. Hugs and love xox

  17. God Is Love
    7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 1 John 4:7–12 All we need is Love!

    1. Thank you so much! Gosh what a kind thing to say. I really appreciate the affirmation! Hugs and love xox

  18. My dear friend,

    First of all my thankfulness to you for your precious thoughts and words.

    Indeed, we should not see man separated from society and vise versa – what we see and experience in our life is the result of ideals and values given by the society. When the society is not clear, man cannot be clear neither. The “surrounding” develops us and when our surrounding is spoilt some of us may also be spoilt – we see a world of violence, of sexual degeneration, we see a world in which ego dominates and systems are tailored to it. Not man alone can be blamed but also the whole society. We should bring in better values and moral principal of good nature – we should start to get rid of all those ugly habits and bad “tradiotions” anchored in our societey – this can only be done when we start to live a life that is an example for others too: Do good, be good and be one – as my Master has put it.
    So the responsibility starts with each of us – we must become aware of this. With ethical values by changing ourselves and be a living proof and example for our society – we contribute to it that our society does not degenerates into a kind of “nihilism” – the result will be that also men will profit from it that there is no “alibi by the society” in him to do such crimes to women. We need new values such as respect to human beings, religions and nations, service to man and help the poor and needy ones. Love is the answer as we are all children in God.

    Thank you very much my friend – good night and sleep well 🙂
    Didi

    1. Do good, be good, and be one – wow what a powerful way to live. Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection, Didi. Amen to that – love is the answer. I am cheering for that!! So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

  19. Caralyn, I am so impressed with your writing, but not just that. I am impressed with your ability to speak the truth in love! Society would have us believe that speaking the truth means not saying anything controversial or that could hurt someone’s feelings…
    I like how you stand for what you believe and aren’t afraid to share it publicly. God Bless you…Excellent post!

  20. So true. Boys need to be taught to treat girls as special. I still believe in opening doors and walking a lady to her door, making sure she is safe. My dad taught me to never drive away when dropping a lady off at her home until she is safely inside… Whether a date, a friend or whoever. And always be polite. I also think the feminist movement also has caused some of this rift. Some women think pampering is disrespectful. Also, there is no excuse for some guy’s behavior, though modesty of dress wouldn’t hurt to not send the wrong signal. No is isno.do unto others as you would have them do to you. And love one another. How much problems in this world would be solved by following these two truths of Jesus? .

  21. No one is paying attention to an extremely salient point you surmised toward the end of this excellent post. “If this is all about trying to block the powerful pro-life changes that Kavanaugh could potentially make on the Supreme Court, then shame on democrats for this destructive steamroller agenda.” My dear BBB, there is only one question, ‘Is the threat to Roe v Wade all the Left, aka Democrats, are concerned about?’ Keeping Roe is the Left’s ‘Holy Grail,’ but, they also wish to legislate directly from the bench, to use the courts, as they have before, for power. This is not the same on the conservative side. The wish for us is that the courts function as they were designed to interpret the Constitution as written and intended. The biggest difference is that you NEVER see this when a candidate to the Supreme Court is favored by Democrats. Republicans don’t turn the hearings into a salacious circus against the Democratic nominees. As far as this particular case goes, the reality is we don’t know anything more on her side than we did before. She still can’t remember any key details except now she is sure it was Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh did give one more fact today. His calendar which detailed his activities extensively during the summer is question do not place him in the location at the party she partially recalls. THAT is actual evidence which can be verified as to when it was written and checked against things like school and workplace records. He names the people who were with him at any social gatherings, and they have corroborated his accounts. More actual EVIDENCE from Kavanaugh. That is lacking from Ms. Ford. She has a lot of emotion, but no evidence, and no corroboration. Emotion is important, but in justice it cannot be the determining factor, evidence and reliable, corroborated testimony must determine the judgments. If emotion rules the day, justice flies out the window and mere accusation will become the new standard of guilt. That is injustice glorified going against the human and Divine Law. Being sincere, heartfelt, and committed is not enough because one can still be sincerely wrong. Justice is too important to leave to sincerity alone.

    1. “you NEVER see this when a candidate to the Supreme Court is favored by Democrats” …. do you seriously believe this? Do you not recall at all how the Republicans blocked Obama from appointing his rightful Supreme Court Justice in 2016?
      In March 2016, following the death of Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, a Reagan appointee and one of the more conservative voices on the court, President Obama nominated federal appellate judge Merrick Garland, who was described as “centrist” by the mainstream media and “left-leaning” by those on the right, to fill the vacancy. He did this despite the fact that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky had already announced — on the day Scalia died — that the Republican-controlled Senate had no intention of confirming any nominee chosen by Obama.
      That seat was empty for damn near a year and you want to say only democrats would resist a SCOTUS nominee? That’s a new level of putting one’s head in the sand.

      1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Politics are such an ugly part of our existence. Hugs and love xox

      2. I don’t believe what Republicans did to Garland was fair, but they didn’t accuse him of sexual assault and drag his name through the mud throughout countless media cycles.

  22. I don’t really have too much to add to the conversation other than what has already been said. You did a great job writing this article. My only comments are a)why does no one else, even people she has named, collaborate her story? b)if we raise boys to believe they are from animals, then why are we so surprised when they act like animals? You can’t have it both ways. Sexual assault is always wrong. Period. And I don’t doubt that something happened to Dr. Ford. However, I do doubt it was Brett Kavanaugh. If she felt like she had to speak out, why hasn’t she spoken out before? He has served in many high profile situations. Situations that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting a man who had sexually assaulted someone be involved in. I’m sorry, but the timing seems very suspicious. Like I said, I don’t doubt that Dr. Ford experienced an incident of sexual assault. I just find it hard to believe that it was Mr. Kavanaugh. I will stop now before I really get going, but I pray that this situation is resolved in a FAIR manner. I pray our justice system actually serves JUSTICE. I just fear that, as has happened many times before, that it won’t. I pray for all involved. God Bless!

    1. Thank you friend for sharing your thoughts on this. I so agree. Sexual assault is always wrong. I’ll join you in that prayer. Hugs and love xox

  23. The first thing to do is ugly, but we have to admit that this culture has been made this way by design for the very reason you lament: to keep us paranoid and at each other’s throats.

    It does in large part stem from the entertainment world, and seeps into academia before filtering out to the rest of us. This also coincided with the diminution of the Church and religion in general in daily and public life, and the lessons it teaches about morality to men and women, including sexual morality. I’m sure this is purely happenstance . . .

    It didn’t have to be this way. Yet here we are.

    1. Thank you friend for sharing your thoughts on this. I pray for our country and for all those involved. Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you friend. I appreciate you passing it along! I’m glad it struck a chord with you! Hugs and love xox

  24. Caralyn,

    This is disappointing because the world is watching and looking at us as we continue to decline as a nation. Both political parties are blaming each other when they are both to blame on the political level. However, I agree that in the local level, we are all responsible for teaching our children that this is type of behavior is unacceptable. It still takes a village to raise children…

  25. I won’t get into the political side of things, as I’m not an American and it’s not my place to speak of it (or to whether or not this specific thing happened), but I think we need to teach people that respect is not selective. You don’t get to respect your mother but then feel free to disrespect that woman at the party who was wearing a short skirt. You don’t get to say ‘well, if she didn’t want to be assaulted, she shouldn’t have been (in that place/wearing those clothes/drinking)’. You respect people. You look at everyone as your sibling (aren’t we all?) and respect them as such. I feel that’s what is lacking lately – drilling into everyone’s heads that respect is about you being a respectful and decent person, not about what the other person was doing.

    And re: sexual abuse of men by women: can we PLEASE end the ‘I bet he liked’ culture while we are at it? Everyone needs to feel free to report assault and not have it dismissed, men and women.

    Okay, off my soap box now.

    Hugs and blessings your way!

    1. Thank you Jay for sharing your thoughts on this. Those are really powerful points. And you’re right – respect is not selective. Hugs and love xox

  26. You, my friend, are a giant. You have a manner of stating your mind and making a point that is “spot on”. Raising our boys differently is not easy. Raising our girls differently is not simple. We as parents have accepted a standard that requires actions by our children. In most cases you will find that the decision is to accept our parents position. When our 13 year old desires and attempts to appear as a 30 year old, “Boys will be boys” and Girls will be girls scorned. I am not trying to be judgemental, but, I feel that we need to bring a sense of reality to the of learning how to grow up and be discriminating.
    Puting all in perspective. We need to choose Common Sense over Emotional Desire.
    Great post and honest.

  27. This entire situation sucks…because if Ford’s statement is true, that would have been a horrible experience to go through as a teenager. If Kavanaugh is telling the truth with denying it happened, then Ford’s statements do extreme harm to future victims coming forward of other acts that actually happened. And from what I’ve seen so far, this is strictly a “he said, she said” argument. So how exactly can either side prove what happened or didn’t happen, with it having been so many years ago?

    What has continually bothered me about this is the claims from Ford are regarding something that supposedly happened when they were teenagers…how can we judge a person’s current character by something they may have done as a teenager?

    I’m not placing fault or accusation on either party, because unless you were there you can’t really know what happened.

    1. Thanks so much Ellen. I so agree. It is horrible all the way around. ALL the way around. And you’re right – people change. Great points. Hugs and love xox

  28. BBB, I respect your attempt to be non-political in this post. And I respectfully disagree on some things.
    We DO need to call out all men. Because men, as a class, continue to support the status quo of patriarchy and the oppression of women. Which is largely controlled through sexualized violence, or even the mere threat of such violence. We need to stop bowing down to the “good ones” in order to preserve their fragile masculinity and feelings and instead demand more from them.
    Women have been set up by patriarchy, quite well, in that we are literally damned if we do and damned if we don’t – on all aspects. Same way people of color are damned regardless of what they do.
    If we truly want things to get better we need to step away from individual situations and start calling out systems. This is no accident. The way sexual violence is used as a tool to control women. Women as a class are literally just trying to function day to day while catering to our captors in order to limit our risk of violence and death.

    1. Thank you so much Amy for sharing your thoughts on this and joining the conversation. Lots of powerful things to think about here. Hugs and love xox

  29. I graduated from high school a little over thirty years ago. Maybe there’s a difference between big city high schools and smaller cities, or just the culture of the area. I knew only one couple in high school having sex senior year. I heard nothing of any sexual assaults (in school — sadly at home was a different matter). Wild parties were pretty much unheard of. The few I did hear of were just a bunch of boys who got together with too much beer. It was a Catholic high school, but I don’t know that that made the difference.

    I think the Catholic church goes too far when it says sex is evil (unless you’re doing for the sole purpose of having babies — no having fun! even if you’re married!) But I think the other side has gone too far in saying that’s sex is only recreational and there are no consequences to your mental, emotional and spiritual well being to having sex with anything you want. Sex has consequences on many individual levels, and it does everyone a disservice to treat as either a one way ticket to hell or no more affecting than drinking a glass of water.

    I guess I don’t have much of a clear point. The way we view and talk about (or avoid talking about) sex in the US is unhealthy, I think, and we’ll keep having problems I’m afraid.

    1. Thank you JVT for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, sadly things have changed. When I went to high school I was one of the only people I knew of who hadn’t had sex yet. And wild parties were an every weekend occurrence. Powerful points here. Thank you for sharing. Hugs and love xox

  30. You compared a judge confirmation to a murder of high profile white people? Classy. You can’t even be a police officer with bad credit but you can be a judge with a prior felony/misdemeanor? He does have $200,000 in credit card debt so he probably shouldn’t be either. He’d have to make $3,000 a month payments for the next 20 years to pay just that off. Or, $60,000 a month until his confirmation. The political process starts/stops its more of a neighborhood street than the interstate. New information arises you, pause. That’s important. Use your branches of government like the Justice department (FBI) and ask,

    “Did this judge Kavanaugh rape a drunk 15 year old girl?”

    Because… felonies and misdemeanors and lots of debt ruin the credibility of the bench. Its law over ideology because there is a separate church and state. It’s not bad for America either. He’s not America. He’s a judge. There was law before him and plenty of better candidates after him.

    Also you mentioned you believed Ford and then toward the bottom you didn’t so, did you change your mind?

  31. Praying the truth is somehow revealed, but we may never know. The good thing is, no one can hide anything from God and we all will have to face our maker one day. Maybe if THAT truth was taught more often, we wouldn’t even be talking about this today.

  32. Oh my goodness, such truth! If everyone could approach this subject with such common sense.

    I have 2 boys myself and it terrifies me what they could face when they become men. I pray hard daily about just that. It is scary to think that just an accusation could cost them their livelihoods. They wouldn’t be able to obtain certain jobs, go certain places, etc. I support the me too movement with a caveat….we need to do a better job of ensuring that the men are treated fairly as well. I do understand there are creeps out there but as you said there are upstanding gentlemen as well. I caution my husband has he is in a leadership position to put certain safeguards in place so that he is never put in that situation or his character called to question. For those victims of assault (any kind but especially sexual), when women make false accusations it discredits everyone and forces them to relive their own assault. I totally sympathize with them and agree that we, as women, should be treated better.

    I guess my biggest point is….that we all need to live with INTEGRITY, stand by our word, be HONEST. I realize those words may be new to some people but that is what we need to get back to.

    1. Thank you so much! I’m so glad this resonated with you. I will definitely pray for your family. Sounds like you’re raising upstanding gentlemen. Hugs and love xox

  33. I haven’t read all of the comments, so forgive my redundancy if any. Speaking as a high school boy nearly 60 years ago it was rare for a girl to enter situations where wolfs prowled. They knew better because most parents set high standards for themselves and their children. That has rapidly changed over these years. Seems like 35 years ago morality became a joke. Today most men and women do what is right in their own eyes. Sadly that is reality on this place called earth. In this unraveling world some still cling to the source of morality, Jesus. Question: You have faithfully followed my blog for sometime now. Why do you think I rarely have comments?

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this tough issue. You’re right about that. We need to cling to Him. Hugs and love xox

  34. Thank you for your comments. The public discourse in your country is so divided. It seems like it is okay to win at all costs. Too many women continue to be abused. I agree men at a small rate but still unacceptable. I think of all the boys who were abused by church priests and clergy. I agree that we all need to raise young men differently. Being abusive is not a natural behavior of boys. It is learned. Even more so I think men and women need to be more open about our boundaries. No must always mean no. If you are not sure ask. If you one or both of your is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs consent becomes impossible. I love your blog. You have a big heart. You are courageous to speak about what is important to you. I am thankful to know you and follow your blog.

    1. Thanks so much Roland. It really is so divided. Makes me sad. Thanks again for the encouragement. You’re a great friend. Hugs and love xox

  35. For those accusing Kavanaugh, lets say you were right, how do you feel about it? May be you feel like a god now huh? If you really care about people or humans i would see you defending all abused women especially in democratic held states and cities, thing i dont see especially on the media. So please cut this crap. I am not perfect and i am sick of this double standard to use your emotions and hate for something you know nothing of. Here is a fact for you people, most American people are decent people, and you being loud and so proud of your democratic circus just sickens me. Americans are for freedom of speech and the importance of life in the womb of a woman, the day people like you will be in control is the day America will fall.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this tough topic. prayers for all those involved. Hugs and love xox

      1. Let s wish for the light to shine on your country. I am not from the US and you cant imagine how politics in your country affects all the world. I am not saying this to sugarcoat the U.S. it is a fact. Powerful countries like the U.S. hold balance in the world. I am from a third world country and believe me if censorship takes control and human rights gets stepped on and if especially your constitution falls apart the rest of the world will be doomed. All of the people i know from all over the world dream to live in the U.S. because of freedom of speech and because of the right to bear arms. When people have power the governement cant convert from democracy to something else easily. Conservative people fought in your history for blacks and for women rights… thing we dont hear of in the media nor in history courses unless we do our own research… i am as myself thought that conservatives were racist and homophobes until i saw the WalkAway movement on youtube. I am sorry i got carried away on my comment i know your blog is about positivity but i couldnt hold myself from being outraged. I watched Kavanaugh ‘s hearing and cried when he did. I am not even Christian but i felt his love for his family and country and no bad deed in his past will change that.

      2. Thank you for this important perspective. It’s true, the us has a great responsibility in setting a positive and productive example. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

  36. “Respect and honor go both ways. Women, if we want to be treated with respect, we need to a) demand it, and b) treat ourselves with the respect we desire and deserve.”

    I get your idea here, but I think it’s misguided. Men should treat women with respect because they’re people. The onus shouldn’t be on women to do anything; it only furthers the belief that male respect should somehow be conditional. We (men) need to do better, and that’s it.

    1. Hey Tonya! Aw thank you lady! You are honestly such an amazing friend! Thank you for always being such a great encourager, and passing along my articles. YOU totally rock and I am very grateful for you 🙂 just wanted you to know that. 💛Caralyn

      1. Awww, how sweet. I am an honest person and love encouraging the good I see in others. Jesus wants us to do that and I really just love pleasing Him. You are a blessing to me. Love your heart for Him. You are beautiful! 😄❤

  37. Speaking about this isn’t a political thing! It’s called freedom of speech, freedom of expression. And someone speaking out about an alleged sexual assault shouldn’t be politicized. Even if we disagree or whatever she has a right to be heard as does he and they both should be respected. However, women are treated as second class citizens world wide and that is one of the biggest issues in the world! Women need to be treated better, period! You spoke very eloquently and you were very clear in your message. It was very well said. I don’t mind talking about politics as long as we respect each other. We don’t have to agree we just have to respect each other. That’s what it’s all about!

    1. Thank you so much Lane for this thoughtful response. You’re right – they both should be respected. And we should all respect each other too!! So glad you stopped by! Big hugs xox

  38. Dear Beauty:

    Thank You for bringing a womans perspective to the issue of sexual misconduct.
    You have hit the nail squarely on the head: We, the People, must do better. We have
    forgotten our divine origins, the nobler, chaste, virtues that once pervaded society.
    Where has it gone?
    Will the rising generation correct the sins of the parents and exercise leadership
    in renewing virtue and nobility of person in society?
    Or will humanity continue to “De-evolve” into baser animals fit only for extinction?

    1. Thank you friend for sharing your thoughts on these tough recent events. So glad you stopped by. big hugs to you xo

  39. I’m sorry that happened to you. 🙁

    While I agree how Democrats used Dr. Ford as a last minute trump card (no pun intended) was tacky, it didn’t mean what Kavanaugh did to Dr. Ford all those years ago, it didn’t mean it doesn’t apply. I mean for crying out loud…I don’t want a man who assaulted another woman’s body to have one of the most influential roles of the nation telling me what I can and cannot do with my body! That would be like either you or my assaulter holding the helm of the Judicial Supreme Court! That’s sicking to me. A big HELL no on that.

    I don’t feel bad for Kavanaugh one bit, because of the pain Dr. Ford went through to get her life together. Not to mention he DIDN’T want the FBI to investigating his story AND he’s hiding his friend??? People say they want proof to see if it did happen, well how can we know if Kavanaugh and his friend doesn’t want the FBI investigating. They have nothing to hide and they “didn’t” assault her, then the both of them should have no problem going through with it, because I don’t want a man who going to be the judge of this nation and yet, not even being able to go through the process of his own investigation. That is HYPOCRISY in the HIGHEST degree!

    1. Hey Ezi! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. It really is such a difficult and sad situation. I’m glad that there is going to be an investigation. Because the truth needs to come out before any decisions are made. You made great points. Thanks. Hugs and love xox

  40. I am not one who usually gets involved in political issues. That said, I will admit that I watched nearly every minute of this hearing. I watched because the respect for women is very important to me. This hearing expressed why I don’t get involved in politics. It was political theater on both sides. I am sad for both parties involved. I hope that he didn’t assault her but I’ve seen this happen more often than not, especially with privileged individuals. I saw terrible behavior from both sides of the aisle. I saw men disregard the pain of a woman and I saw political ambition on both sides. It was sick.

    I hope that we can trust the system to find the truth. For me, the most important thing that this has raised in my mind is the respect for women. I have seen far too much disrespect for women by men. It is far too common. It is the only reason I might side with Dr. Ford. This is a bias and I want an objective truth to be revealed. Sadly I don’t think an objective truth will be revealed. Someone is lying. This is sad also. Like I said, I am sad for both of them. For their families and all that has been sacrificed for an epidemic that is still plaguing this society. The disrespect for women. I hope he is not being condemned for something simply for political motives. I hope that she is not doing this for political motives. I hope he didn’t sexually assault her. I ache for her pain and sacrifice for doing something she believed was right. I hope the system will bring out the truth. You are so right, this country and the political system has to do much better.

    1. Hi Alex, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Sadly, Political theater is a great term for it. You’re right. I’m glad there is going to be an investigation because the truth. Reds to come to light. Which will then allow a truly informed and correct decision. Hugs and love xox

  41. Well stated! As a parent of a girl and three boys, I worry about the world all of them are coming into. I have seen the abuses of the Patriarchy first hand and in vivid detail. I have seen just as great a potential for abuse in “empowered” women who I could never speak truth to their power in the workplace. I think you are spot on in regard to using humans as means to a given end instead of treating them like reasoned, powerful individuals. Thank you for adding your voice to this controversy in such an eloquent way.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this. I really appreciate you joining the conversation! Hugs and love xox

  42. Hey, sis’! I’m with you about this whole Kavanaugh situation: Tired of hearing it as well. Even moreso, through the years, I noticed how that sense of “respect” for anyone has gone down the drain at this point. Not only are people living in fear, but they are also staying ‘silent’ about anything and anyone nowadays. The same thing is happening when it comes to speaking up and about Christianity as well. People can hear us speak, but that information goes out the other side of their ears. They won’t listen unless they have ‘something’ to gain from listening to us.

    I feel bad for him and his family as well. Also, if this event did take place many years ago, I asked my mother “What’s the point of bringing it up now?” She said that she didn’t understand it either, but was upset that all her programs were cancelled on tv for the sake of showing this same court case. All I can do is keep him, his family, and this whole situation in my prayers because, especially in today’s world, it’s hard to gut out who’s telling the truth or any truth nowadays about any situation and topic.

    As for the sexual side of things, the “bossy” fellas I met, I managed to push these guys away from me because they felt like poisonous snakes to me. In other words, these two lovely guys wanted straight sex out of me, but neither succeeded. Lol. They hated me for making them wait too long and… well… that’s not my problem. When a man says that they’re patient with me, mean those words. Don’t live by the idea that since you asked, I will automatically submit to you what you request for, like the hoe example you’ve mentioned on how a women are often titled. Females, and male victims, should stop believing that they’re trapped, because the real truth is that…. you never are. God is covering you under His Wings more than you know. Stay strong and know that you are loved.

    Chat soon. 🙂

    1. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. what a tough situation all the way around. hugs

  43. I listened to the hearings on my satellite radio while I drove for work. They were riveting. Thank you for your thoughts on this. One thing you said resonated with me and that was your thought about the “typical high school boy”. I have to admit, I had this thought as well. And then I had to check myself, over the course of this debate… and though most will not admit it, I believe there are many, many men who are thinking about their behaviors in high school, and over the course of their lives, towards the women in their lives.
    So these hearings, though painful for all involved, may have some positive side effects. “All things work together for good”, right?

    1. thank you Abe for sharing your thoughts about this. I do hope that there can be some semblance of good that comes out of this. hugs x

  44. Yesterday a bunch of journalists on TV were discussing the prevalence of abuse and domestic violence and how could that be possible with all the “gender equality” policies and education… But none of them thought it is related to the general decline in morality, specially sexual morality, in our society. Thanks for pointing to that, I see there are still people with common sense!! Also I feel the following quote by Pope Paul VI in Humanae Vitae is very illuminating: “a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection”.

    1. thank you so much Paola for sharing your thoughts on this. yeah, the decline of faith and spirituality and morality is definitely a huge culprit behind the state of things. so glad you stopped by! hugs xo

  45. Thank you for this perspective on the Kavanaugh hearing. I truly appreciate your approach to the topic and I hope that it will resonate with many, many people.

  46. You have said what some of us would like to say. Many parents are now wondering who next among their bright beloved children who have made it to the top will be among those thrown into the nation’s arena to be mauled and torn to pieces. Why, o why some have chosen to align with such a self- destructive way of resolving conflicts?

  47. Appreciate you sharing a perspective that brings relevancy to the recent SCOTUS hearings. Good on you for being able to keep certain opinions close at heart while shedding light on the symptoms of the problem. Keep it up!

  48. I am not from the U.S. but I understand their obsession to high moral standards from a leader. But… dredging up something that happened 36 years ago? Really? Don’t people change? Is America all about moral uprightness? Where is mercy? Let the man/woman who has not sinned (and had their sin exposed) for the last 36 years be the first to throw a stone.

    1. Yeah that’s such a great point. People do change. Especially when it’s an uncorroborated accusation. Lots of powerful points here. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

  49. Right now, my wife’s son is going through the worst imaginable abuse by the surrogate mother of his 2-year-old son. She has tried to get the baby away (permanently) since he was born. She told the hospital that the father was unknown when she gave birth. It took the state Attorney General to force her to set the record straight, Since then, she has filed one false report after another with police, causing him to lose his job, be arrested, being denied time with his son.

    She is vengeful and hateful is every way possible. Even though her accusations have all been shown to be false, the police do not care, and will not investigate or prosecute her for her deceptions. They say the DA will not prosecute women for false accusations so as to not discourage other women from coming forth with true accusations. This woman has found out that she can bludgeon an innocent man to legal, and financial death, with impunity.

    I am not saying I know the facts of Kavanaugh’s past. I am saying that men are completely at the mercy of accusers, without hope of recourse or restoration of their honor or their livelihoods. Justice, and innocence until proven guilty have been thrown in the trash. Men have become collateral damage in a social war where there are true victims. We need a way to protect the innocent as well as the victims.

  50. I’m still kinda floored that he brought up the Clintons!!!???
    Aside from the likely previous perjury, and the withholding of records, and possible egregious sexual aggression, he has shown himself as too weirdly, deeply partisan for a supposedly apolitical position intended to mete out impartial justice.
    Also, a wretched record on enforcing or upholding environmental protections. Absolutely the last thing we need at this critical juncture.

    I know! Let’s get someone with a sterling record of moral uprightness and judicial moderation, like Merrick Garland, on the Supreme Court!😀

    As for those who are confused as to why people who are sexually abused don’t bring it up right away, and often never, the Twitter handle WhyIDidntReport offers considerable insight.

    1. Hi Nichole! Thank you for this powerful perspective. I can always count on you to offer such great insight. You always make me think and for that I am so grateful 🙂 I will definitely check out that twitter handle. I agree – I think there is a lot to learn and a lot of compassion to be had when it comes to victims and what they went through. So glad you stopped by! Big hugs xox

      1. It is all so heart-wrenching to read. It seems very worth remembering how statistically infinitesimal false claims of sexual abuse actually are – far more common for victims to think it is somehow their own fault, that they will be blamed or disbelieved, or “in trouble”. If powerful abusers in the public eye continue to get a pass, then how can we expect victims to change this script? Case in point: the many women who shared their stories of molestation, etc at the hands of #45 were summarily dismisses, aside perhaps from the occasional lingering death threat that I fear might also be the most likely result Professor Blasey-Ford can expect to come from her disclosure 😕
        I commend you for your willingness to read those Twitter testimonials – too many people are far too willing to ignore those voices as inconvenient and/or on the wrong “side”

      2. The courage it takes to come forward is nothing short of heroic. Their stories need to be told

  51. Well written and deftly dodging the political partisanship and its ugliness. Thank-you.

    The issue of respect arises organically when we begin to parse our emotions rather than react from fear, anger and entitlement. Emotional education is one way to begin.

    When I was in college in the 1970s as feminism was finding roots, I felt out of place in that sexists world as I do now. I have consistently had visions of a future where everybody feels safe, honored and respected and equal. When we honor others as sacred, including planet Earth and stop making others into objects, re-introduce civility towards one another then the possibility of transformation can begin to occur.

    BBB, you are a change agent. Thank-you again for your civility and care.

    1. Thank you so much Kai. I really appreciate your sharing your thoughts on this. Amen amen amen. We need to honor one another!!! Love that. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

  52. Yeah – I’m always happy to see how many comments you get to your posts. This one is especially important. I appreciate that you don’t really take a side here because Mr Kavanaugh may or may not have even done that and if he did it seems to have been made much worse by alcohol. Anyway – I’ve said it before and here it is again. Better role models are needed and this world needs more Jesus. We’re worshiping the wrong things

    1. Thank you! Yeah I feel so blessed by the wisdom people share with me in the comments section. Amen – the world needs more Jesus. Hugs and love xox

  53. I too reflected on the Kavanaugh hearing on my own blog. I didn’t exactly get political on siding or pontificating about each side, I reflected on my younger self and what I saw and heard as a teen during the Thomas confirmation and then as a college student during the Clinton impeachment. I remember these and I look at how they’ve affected me through time.

    1. Yeah it is really incredible the effect that those events have on impressionable youth. I remember the Clinton ordeal as well. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

    1. Hi Casey, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! amen! all equal! Hugs and love xox

  54. I’m mighty late to the discussion. I read a lot of the comments but not all. Maybe I am repeating someone. Kavanaugh did have evidence to prove his point – both in physical evidence (calendars) and testimony of reported witnesses. He did have six FBI investigations. He did have 30 years or so of conduct which should earn him a gold star. There is nothing in his known background that suggests he is a liar. When he made his first denial, he had no way to know whether or not she had evidence except that she could not have proof because it did not happen. Why would he take the chance of lying and then discovering she had told someone who could corroborate her story, or perhaps kept an old diary. I don’t think he lied. She had no evidence except for witnesses who only presented to be negative, and a “counseling session” from which the transcript could not be seen. She was a pawn used by the Democrats and was “cowed” by them. Her baby-like posture and presentation was quite pretentious for a lady who had earned doctorates and commanded a high position in a University. What kind of life she has been living for thirty years was not allowed to be known. If her high school incident was so traumatic, she certainly overcame in amazing ways.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this tough issue, Oneta. Great points. Unfortunately I’m afraid youre right about her being their pawn. Makes me sad for all parties involved. Hugs and love xox

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