A Facebook Gut Punch

I did something I’m not proud of last night.

I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but sometimes, I find myself in what I like to call, The Facebook Time Suck.

You know what I’m talking about: It’s late; you definitely should be asleep already; your phone is on 15% battery life; and you’re just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through Social Media. And pretty soon, you find yourself on your elementary school crush’s wife’s Facebook page, looking at their engagement photos from 4 years ago, and you just. can’t. look. away. 

Very rarely do I fall into that trap. My life is typically way to hectic crazy for that…especially now that I’ve committed to making daily videos for my newsletter.

But last night, being that I’m home in Ohio now for Christmas, with a bit more time on my hands, I found myself late into the evening on the Facebook page of…several of my sorority sisters from college.

Now, if you’ve followed this blog for a while, you will know that, aside from my anorexia, that season of my life in the sorority was probably the second darkest period of my life.

Just a 30 second recap: I was the President of my sorority. And then in a publicly humiliating episode where I was stripped down to my sports bra and undies in front of the whole chapter, I was forced to “step down” from my position as President. They rejected the sisterhood I was amplifying. And they didn’t appreciate the higher standard I was subtly calling our chapter to — upholding the Christian values that the sorority itself was founded upon. Those values didn’t really line up with the binge drinking brothel that they wanted to create instead. A wonderful experience of 3 years of beautiful friendships and fun memories, in the blink of an eye, turned…just like that.

I’m not bitter, I promise.

But actually, I’ve really worked hard to find forgiveness in my heart, not just for the college-aged girls, but for the 40 and 50 year old women in charge of the national organization, who not only should know better, but should be striving to build young women up instead of seeking to tear them down.

But one of the ways I have worked on forgiveness and moving on, is that I do not follow any of those people on social media. I don’t want to be shown their faces on a daily basis, and be reminded of that time of pain in my life. It brings me back to a bad head space.

But, last night…I fell into the insatiable trap of curiosity.

And 45 minutes later, I’m up to my eyeballs in profiles, and wedding albums, and learning that frankly…not much had changed with those girls.

And feeling my chest tighten with unhealthy feelings, I finally, snapped out of it, turned off my phone and audibly said to myself, “Care, you need to get a life. This is not good for you.”

That night, as I was prepping for my Oh What a Beautiful Morning! video, the Bible verses that came up were exactly what I needed to hear. I’m telling you – once you start making reading your bible a daily practice, it is amazing how God truly speaks to you, and gives you exactly what you need to hear.

I mean, I grew up knowing that scripture is the “Word of God,” but only now am I realizing that, it really is. It’s His words, to you.

So I open up the page and find this little gem: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.” Proverbs 4:23

I actually gave a chuckle, reading that. I was envisioning God, peering over his Santa Claus-esq spectacles, wagging his finger at me, going…Now, now, now, Caralyn. Don’t you be doin’ that, young lady. You know better than to be digging up skeletons on Facebook!

I kind of rolled my eyes: Well played, God. Well played.

But then I look down to find this warm hug from my Father: “He has made everything beautiful in His time.” Eccl 3:11

And this, friends, was exactly what I needed to read after my destructive little Facebook Time Suck.

Sure, that season was unpleasant. There were many, many tears, and to say that it was an exercise in humility would be the understatement of the century.

However, God never let that pain go to waste. And last night, He challenged me to consider how, in fact, He has made it beautiful.

I honestly blacked out in my memory the majority of that tumultuous closing of that chapter. But I do remember, after all the smoke cleared and dust settled, being back at home, my mom and I were both lying in my bed looking up at the ceiling, having one of our infamous mother-daughter talks before bed, like we did every night of my childhood, and she said something to me that I’ll never forget.

She said, “Just shake the dust off.”

And of course, she was referring to Matthew 10:14 – “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”

But that’s exactly what I did, and never looked back.

I chose to leave behind that toxic situation, and move on. I moved to the Big Apple not knowing a soul, and built a beautiful community, full of people that love me and value the person I am. My friends here are like family, and the road we’re traveling on is exciting, and fulfilling and affirming.

I’ve chased my dreams. Built a desktop ministry that I can be proud of. And grown in my relationship with God in an incredibly personal and tangible way.

That season really shaped the trajectory of my life thus far.

But that’s not all.

Looking back, I realized just how much it shaped who I am.

That whole debacle taught me to value and treasure loyalty. After 3 years, building friendships with girls I thought were my friends – traveling with them, sharing hearts and laughter, joys and break ups, only to have them turn their backs when your spotlight “goes out” – it really singed my heart. And made me see the beauty of true, loyal, people.

But more, God has helped me grow from that pain. And solidified in my heart a dependence on God, as shelter, friend, and hope. As comforter, consoler, and teacher of trust, resilience, and humility.

He has made everything beautiful in His time.

Because the most beautiful thing to come out of that pain, was the young woman I became, from growing through it.

And for that, I am grateful.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

195 thoughts on “A Facebook Gut Punch

  1. As I read your post, I kept thinking about Romans 8:28 and how God causes all things to work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes. Included in the all things are the painful experiences. I have had many of those myself that helped lead me to be who I am today. God has blessed you with the opportunity to share his love in many ways. That is a deeply rich treasure. 🙂

    1. Hi there friend, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes! I love that verse from Romans. thanks for the support 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  2. I love this, as I can relate with my own dark moments of my past. I believe that God has allowed my memory to blackout much of a period of time in my life to protect me (because I’m a dweller; on people, circumstances, etc lol). However, every now and then certain memories are triggered that will suck me back in, but ultimately, I think the Lord uses those moments to show me how far he’s brought me from that time. It’s a beautiful reflection of his grace and the good that is working in our lives. ❤️

    1. hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I feel ya there! and amen to that – it shows how far He’s brought you! love that so much. hugs xox

  3. My dear Beauty, I don’t really have anything to respond with on tonight’s post other than a “Well done, you!” No, tonight I just want to give thanks for our friendship of the last, what two years? NO! THREE years!!! I give thanks for your trust, for meeting with me, for allowing me to barge into your blog with my rants, for teaching me, for being that wonderful Tiffany lamp with God’s light inside.

    Tonight as I sit here, realizing that Christmas is just a few days away, I just want to say thank you for your friendship and to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

    1. Thank you Jeff, aw, this brought a smile to my face. Wow, three years! That’s just awesome. I am so grateful for you, dear friend. I can always count on you for sage advice, wisdom and guidance, with just the right amount of dad humor, and “tell-it-to-me-straight-ness.” And I will always be grateful to you for being there for me in prayer and heart that night of my mom’s stroke. Thank you for that. I will never forget your generosity and friendship when I needed it most. Merry merry Christmas Jeff. I pray that your Christmas be filled with love and joy and togetherness with your loved ones 🙂 And send extra special Christmas love to Julie 🙂 oxox

  4. Wow. This is just what I needed to read right now. I’ve been through some hard times too, and lately they’ve been haunting me. I too value loyalty above all else, and I appreciate close friends more than anything else that could ever come along. I’m so glad you and I have both found that in our lives! It’s painful to develop the discernment to see that the people around you lack the gratitude for others that you feel. 🙁 Worst awareness ever. I’ve gone down the … what did you call it? … facebook suck path? myself, and I’ve also found people unchanged. It leads me to wonder that the brightest among us strive for self-improvement, whereas the less motivated just keep living the way they are with no concern for deeper truths. Thanks for your post tonight!! 🙂

    1. Hi Meg, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry this hit so close to home for you. Amen to that – close friends are the best. Sending you so much love, dear friend! xox

  5. Funny you mention Facebook, I just started my page to promote my blog! Until 4 days ago I have never once had a Facebook page. I’ve already realized that people can be very negative and give way to much information but at the same time I realized that I control what I want people to know about me and I won’t get sucked into being on there all the time. Hard being a private person and wanting to promote yourself and being a writer!

    I love how honest you always are about your life. I cannot Express that enough! It makes your followers feel closer to you and realize that we have all problems and we can all relate, help, and encourage each other.

    God is good and he has this amazing way of tapping out shoulder when we need to snap out of something.

    Struggles make us stronger humans and make us appreciate life more.

    Thank you for sharing and I’m Glad God has stepped into your life and that you started this ministry!

    You touch many lives 😍😍🙌🙌

    1. Hey Lane! Congrats on the page launch! yeah, there’s a lot of negativity out there, but it can also be a great way to keep in touch with loved ones too 🙂 That is very true! and thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 Amen – God is a great shoulder tapper 🙂 hahaha I loved this response – you’ve given me much to think about. big big hugs to you dear friend xox

      1. You’re very welcome my friend! I am a huge fan of yours. It is my pleasure to read your post 💕💕. And thank you. We’ll see how Facebook goes for me 😏. Have a wonderful blessed weekend and a fantastic Christmas 🎄🎄🎁❄🎁🎄

    1. Thank you so much Ryan, yeah my mom is pretty spot on with pretty much everything in life. haha thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

  6. I am sure it’s a challenge to need to work and to be the adept creator that you are while handling the holidays. It is, of course, a change of circumstances that go with it.

    Not that long ago, my seventy-year-old father mentioned a reflection on sin that had affected him. He doesn’t usually say too much about that business, although he is a weekly churchgoer.

    I enjoy the tact you take with your blog, and it is a pleasure for me to drop by and see what you’re saying. Interesting!

    1. Hi Odell, thank you so much for your kind words about my blog! I love the wisdom we can glean from our parents. hugs xo

    1. Hi Mary, thank you so much for your kind words. It is truly amazing to watch God work! hugs to you xox

    1. aw, thank you so much Tonya, you’re so kind to say that. love you dear friend! merry christmas!

  7. Wow you write so beautifully! I too have fallen into the facebook gut punch especially this time of year having down time. I agree that it’s so important to “shake the dust off’ and to remove things from our lives that are not adding positivity. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

    1. oh my goodness, thank you so much Nicki! Yeah, especially around Christmas and Thanksgiving, it is easy to get sucked into social media. yes! hugs xox

  8. Caralyn, you have so much wisdom packed in this post. Forgive, shake off the dust and keep moving towards your goals. You are comfortable being who you are and honest about it. Always love stopping by. Hugs and love! xoxo

    1. oh my goodness, thank you so much my dear friend. I was pretty nervous publishing this one, so I appreciate your kindness and support. hugs xox

  9. This is so true! I’ve had people I was very close to that I’ve had to let go of bc of past sins that pose a threat to my family. And there have been times that I have wondered how they were doing, but I’ve learned that actively entertaining that curiosity does me no good. I just pray for them when I feel the need, and then put it all in God’s hands. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. Hi there friend. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I love that! Yes – pray and put it in God’s hands! hugs xo

  10. Ok C Great job! I’m sure this will resonate with lots of folks as it did me (although a bit more of a dude version:) )

    I know i share a lot of Andy Stanley stuff with you but he and his wife have some material I love around this topic that they call the comparison trap. Hope you get a chance to check it out ! 🙂

    https://yourmove.is/episode/ep1-the-land-of-er-2/
    https://store.northpoint.org/products/comparison-trap-devotional

    You can’t genuinely love someone whom you secretly hope will fail. You can’t genuinely love someone
    whom you’re pushing to meet a standard so you can feel better about yourself. There’s no win in
    comparison. There’s never a finish line or sense of satisfaction.

    Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.
    Ecclesiastes 4:6

    J

    1. Hi J! oh gosh, thank you so much. I do love Andy Standley’s message! I look forward to checking out his post! thanks for passing it along! so true!! big hugs and merry christmas! xox

  11. We all fall into traps, and most of the time we do not see it coming. The good news is that you were convicted, and you changed your ways. It is a learning experience. Some traps are set by our so-called godly friends. Then you have those who say that they never fall into traps, but they do not realize that they are in a trap. It is also nice to see that you have a mother who encourages you as opposed to those who are quick to condemn.

    1. Thank you JB, you bring up a lot of powerful food for thought here. oh yes – my mom is my biggest cheerleader 🙂 big hugs xo

  12. Regardless of where the traps are, they are there before us … Facebook, life, death, illness, relationships, friendships, choices… We see the light only after the darkest moments. Grace under pressure (like a diamond) and walk away from it looking for love, wisdom, kindness & purpose. You’ve moved towards that, not stayed stuck.

    1. Very true – What poetic and powerful words. Thank you for sharing this great food for thought. hugs xo

  13. Kid we ALL get sucked in, I’d need a blog post and a half to explain mine. I am so proud of the woman you have become, and I would never have pegged you for a sorority member, So glad you are who you are now!

    1. I think you’re right about that. thanks so much Tony. Gosh, I am so touched by your kind words. haha – yeah, I don’t quite fit the mold! xox

  14. Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that story about the sorority. What an awful experience. I’ve never been a huge Greek person. Too much hazing, bullying, slave labor as freshmen to benefit the seniors, why pay for friends? I don’t know, it just wasn’t my thing I guess. Your experience sounds dreadful. I’m sorry. But like you said, dust off your feet and move on. And you did. Congratulations! Reid

  15. I’m with you! Each day I ask God to help me trust more, be more resilient, and exhibit a genuine humility. We’re all a work in progress: Human, fallible, and prone to lapses in good sense. But we’re not hopeless. God helps us “snap out of it” and shut the darn phone/computer/iPad off and go to bed! <3 God bless you. <3

    1. thank you so much Jan! I love that – trust more, resiliance and genuine humility! hugs to you xox

  16. That was an awful experience, one that any organization would be hard pressed to justify allowing to happen. Wow.

    That said, your post is interesting to me, as I’ve just had a comparable discussion with a close friend over the idea of forgiveness and moving on. It is very difficult for me to let some of my past go – things I’ve done and said, as well as things that were said and done to me – and as of late, it’s all been weighing rather heavily on me. My friend’s response is that like any other container, the space within us is finite, and if we fill it with negativity, we take away space that God would otherwise use to fill us with His blessings. If we are to receive the blessings He has prepared for us, therefore, we need to let go of those things within that are of no value.

    It is not easy to let that kind of hurt go, believe me. But I’m trying, and seeing how your post is the third time this week I’ve received this very message, I’m coming to the conclusion that God wants me to let it go, too!

    1. thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate you sharing your story. I will definitely keep you and that situation in my prayers 🙂 hugs to you xo

  17. You wrote this at a very good time, especially when I needed encouragement. I have stayed off of Facebook for 8 months and haven’t given in, and even now its especially tempting being home for Christmas. Also, being in my hometown has sparked some curiosity of my own, where I have these urges to look up old crushes, mean girls from my past etc. just to see what they are doing. Often, I feel that gut wrenching tenderness from within when I see them “further ahead” of me and I also feel this pain whenever I think of them. I often blame myself that I cannot feel happy for them because I have no friends in my hometown. It’s sad, but probably best that I stay away from social media for the time being.

    1. thank you Hilary, I appreciate your kind words. oh curiosity, the double edged sword. i feel you, friend. praying for ya! hugs xox

  18. You are an amazing woman of God, Caralyn. I, along with the many others appreciate your honesty, your openness, transparency, your walk with our God, your Live for our Lord Jesus Christ, and your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit of the Living God.
    You and the ministry Holy Spirit has guided you into, are a blessing to many every day, in different areas of need. Your obedience to His leading, and sharing how God speaks to you through His Word, is encouraging, as you tell all that He will speak to each of us, we just need to be available, and to “listen” as well as hear.

    We know the enemy will use anything available to attempt to discourage us, and pull us down. He loves to point out past negative experiences.

    Thank you for living, and sharing publicly, the Truth of God’s Word.

    1 John 5:4
    4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

    Luv,
    😀❤️🌹😘

    1. hi George, oh my goodness, this touched my heart so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’re so right about that – the enemy loves to help us remember and to cause us to take our eyes off of Jesus. I love that verse so much! merry merry christmas, George! hugs xo

  19. Wow. After reading this post I went back and read your original sorority post. What a challenging experience. I’m most impressed with your ability to be grateful for all your experiences, even that really hard ones. That is so transformative! Not always easy to do. There’s so much wisdom in this post. Good for you. And that proverb quite about guarding your heart.. Wow, Thank you!!

    1. Gosh, thank you so much for taking the time to read that, and for your kind words. Yeah, it turns out that the hard ones are, in the end, the ones that make us who we are 🙂 so glad you stopped by! hugs oxxoxo

  20. I call it snooping lol. But I’m laying in bed right now when I could be sleeping, but I’m reading your blog! But seriously, I’ve fallen down the wormhole as well. Just find someone and you are curious and it just keeps going. I think one of the worst parts about it, is you start to judge and compare their lives to yours. And that can be harmful to yourself.

    1. snooping hahah i like that. aww, thank you for such kind words. that’s a great point. there is no win in comparison, that’s for dang sure…and something i defintiely had to learn the hard way! hugs oxx

  21. Good on you for recognising that you didn’t need to be there. We all make mistakes as we are human. But you knew at some point that it wasn’t good for you to be delving back in the “what-could-have-been” era. So you have grown bigger than that, so well done. Cut yourself a break and be thankful for what you have achieved in your life, not only for yourself but for what you give to others. Love to hear your stories. Thank you for the raw emotions and truth you convey.

  22. I really needed those two Bible verses today, right now. My week has been filled with a slightly different situation, but still involved social media. Thank you 🙂

  23. Sometimes we all have be burned before we realize it is not what we should be. As you said it made you stronger but I’m pretty sure it didn’t feel that way when it happened which in a way you needed it to wake you up. Otherwise you would have been in the same place they are. You would not have ended up the strong powerful person you are with out the things that at the time seemed the worst. Good for you and your strength.

    1. Thanks friend, I think you’re right about that. Thank you for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

  24. I just wanted to personally thank you for this post. I have, just the other day, left my church as it was a very negative atmosphere with not very nice people in it and it was making me resent having to go. I thought if I don’t leave now, it may end up having a negative effect on my faith and so i bit the bullet and left. I am currently tooing and frowing from church to church on a mission to find my new place of worship and this post really made me feel good about it. Thank you! x

    1. Thank you so much Lottie, I’m so glad it resonated with you. I’m sorry that you had a negative atmosphere at the place that should be the most welcoming and joyful. I will definitely keep you in my prayers as you look for a new church! Hugs and love xox

  25. Good for you, sis and glory to God! Thanks for sharing that beautiful biblical reminder of everything is made beautiful in its time. Have a blessed and wonderful day. Keep being that bright light.

  26. I started using an app timer to limit time on FB. I don’t need it 90% of the time, but it is perfect for the times I spiral.

  27. Glad you’re not completely stuck in the past. I get the whole need to forgive, (I’ve been out of school 40 plus years and there are still incidents occasionally bubble back to the surface of my mind and I again forgive and release) Can I just say, the mean spirited stupidity of your sorority sisters and the national leadership, does piss me off. Yes forgive, yes don’t get stuck, yes God does use the hurt from our/ mine/ your past for my growth, but @ the same time, there is a place to call something for what it is as well. Sometimes, we in the church are so quick to gloss over the initial offence we don’t allow the wounded to grieve. You are so normal. That’s why I read your blog. Take care. DM

    1. Thanks so much DM, I appreciate your kind words. Yeah it was not the greatest of scenarios, that’s for sure. I appreciate you being in my corner 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  28. What a wonderful realization! Especially during this time of year 🙂 Good for you Caralyn! It is so hard to look back on past painful memories and realize the good that came from them. What a wonderful example of growth and love. thank you for sharing. You will make a very lucky man very happy 🙂 God Bless!

    1. Thank you so much for this kind response. God has been very good to me in helping my heart heal. Hugs and love xox

    1. Thanks Nikki for sharing that. Yeah – they look picture perfect from the outside… Hope you have a beautiful Christmas! Hugs and love xox

  29. Enjoyed this post and especially your comment “r. I’m telling you – once you start making reading your bible a daily practice, it is amazing how God truly speaks to you, and gives you exactly what you need to hear.” Knowing this truth changes so very much in a person’s life and brings us back from the brink of our fleshly responses to life. Appreciate your real life, down to earth sharing!!

    1. Thank you so much Ms. Wanda! Amen to that – He loves to speak to us through His word! Hugs and love xox

  30. Not being subtle here… if I saw anyone do that to anyone else I would f**king tear them apart. What evill to do that to you. I’m pleased to hear that you’ve over that now but that was bad.. Have a great Christmas xx

  31. What a difficult experience to overcome – that would certainly turn many peoples hearts stone cold. I’m so glad your faith and your family and new friends have supported you in moving forward in such a positive direction – you really did shake the dust off!! You did well guarding your heart – you didn’t let the darkness linger, just experienced it and then asked it to leave so you had more room for the light. What an insightful, brave, resilient young lady you are.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I have some really wonderful friends and an incredible family that really stood by my side. I am so grateful. God is good. Hugs and love xox

  32. Praise God! This was so encouraging, I always get sucked into Facebook, I try to avoid that app because I get so involved in other people lives.

  33. You precious soul! I was touched reading your story. Nothing hurts like rejection. And for trying to do good! You will be eternally blessed for your righteousness. My closest friends are my small group of ladies that are 81-95 years old. I adore and cherish them and they root for me. God gave me what I needed when I completely let Him pick my friends. Bless you and your ministry and know there are kindred souls rooting for you too. Blessings and PEACE, Sister
    Katie Turner 😊🙏🏼

  34. Caralyn.. You are right. God, in His Time has made something beautiful. We go through trials in our lives, much like the mythical creature the Phoenix, which rises up out of the ashes better than before! I had a friend who equated me to that creature after I described to them how I got through to that very moment. ..he asked how someone like me could get into such troubles. . I said,” I cannot lie to you, because you’re a priest, and you know the ” Boss” ( the Lord Almighty).

    God never leaves nor forsakes His Faithful! May He bless you in your endeavors, and guide your footsteps!

    Terrelyn

  35. God is teaching you some great things. The grass that appears greener is often the grass over the septic tank. Gross statement but so true! I look at those who appear more “successful” and discover that things are not as they appear. God took your difficult and has given you a worldwide platform. His plans are so much better than ours.

    1. Thank you so much Matthew!! God is good and I am grateful for the lessons He’s teaching me! Hugs and love xox

  36. Such a GREAT post! Thanks for sharing, as I needed every piece of this reminder myself today. God has impeccably perfect timing, doesn’t He? Blessings to you and yours!!

  37. I know I try so hard not to go down the Facebook rabbit hole. But sometimes it’s hard to avoid. I’m glad to hear you’ve moved on from that horrible experience though it’s not surprising to hear that none of the people involved have changed. I’ve found that’s usually been the case with the people in my life that I didn’t get along particularly well with or have hurt me in some way.

    1. Thanks so much Raney. You’re right – Facebook is hard to avoid. Thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

  38. You are so right about moving on. I just had coffee yesterday with someone who was part of several decisions that caused my family deep hurt. God compelled me to contact this person and meet with them. It was a fruitful discussion where I heard her side of the story and the challenges she faced. It gave me more insight and showed me things aren’t always as simple as they seem. I was able to tell her I forgive her and move on. It helped free me from the brewing anger.

    1. Thanks so much friend for your kind words. And oh wow, that is so wonderful that you were able to have that encounter. Hugs and love xox

  39. Great post. This is the first post of yours I’ve come across. I deactivated my social media accounts almost a year ago and truly it has altered so many things in my life. I can relate to being in the Facebook Time Suck, lol. To be honest I needed to unplug from social media and plug more into God. Now almost a year later I’ve gained so much clarity in my relationship with the Father. I truly loved this post. I look forward to reading some more of your content. Many blessings.

    1. Thank you T for your encouraging words. Yeah I also looking forward to unplugging this Christmas! Hugs and love xox

  40. Hi. I really understand this feeling. I’ve been through it as well and every now and then I get that same gut punch, I cry then brush it off and look at the the people I already have and see what a blessing they are. Thanls for your encouraging words.

    1. Thank you so much friend! You’re right – let’s focus on the good and the many blessings we have 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  41. Well done and well written.
    I totally resonated with what you wrote and shared.
    There are a lot of traps in social media just as there is a treasure trove of gems in it.
    Keep writing and sharing.
    Merry Christmas.
    May the Child in the Manger be a constant Presence in your life and writings.

  42. Beautiful! Betrayal is so hard to work through, and they impact our body image, self esteem, sense of trust, everything. What you went through must have been so hard. And facebook is not always a good place to spend time.

    1. thank you Marie for your encouragement. you’re so right – everything. I appreciate you taking the time to read! big hugs and merry christmas!

  43. It’s truly amazing how God speaks to us through words that were written thousands of years ago! Scripture is completely alive because Jesus is the Word of God and He lives forever… I too needed today that quote from Proverbs 🙂

    I’m glad you were able to overcome that difficult experience in your sorority and use it to grow into the amazing person you are today, creating a life that’s meaningful to you and to many others.

    1. It really is incredible, Paola. Thanks so much for your kind words. God uses everything for good! Hugs and love xox

  44. I totally know what it’s like to mindlessly scroll the newsfeed and then be like, “Wait, what was I on here for?” I recently deleted the Facebook app from my phone to help curb that tendency. It’s tempting to chase those rabbits. Let’em go. Thanks for sharing and caring. Peace.

  45. Oh how this blessed me and confirmed why I stay away from social media. Similar to your story, someone hurt me very deeply some time ago. I have forgiven them, and that was a long process. One of the ways I protect myself is by not viewing or following what they do on FB. It puts me in a bad head space too. Thank you for sharing this, it confirms what I’ve been doing is right for me. God bless you and Merry Christmas. Glory to our God.

  46. just be strong enough, I understand. it makes no sense all the time, just push through, what else is there really? that is all that keeps me going, and I question everything.

  47. What is really funny after reading this is, that when I started my blog (Just my understanding of God’s Word [shameless plug]) three years ago you were the first person to follow me and your faithfulness kept me reading my bible day in and out just so I could meet your expectations of something to read daily. Thank You for your support and yes I agree daily reading of the Word is the love God told us that would cover many sins and bring us to Him.

    1. Oh my gosh I cannot begin to tell you how much this touched my heart. Thank you so much Paul. Sending you so much love joy and peace this Christmas season! Xox

  48. God opened my eyes to this truth:
    Stop wondering if I am good enough for other people and start wondering if they are good enough for me.

  49. This post was so encouraging to me. My husband and I have just come out of a very toxic situation after 10 years. We were betrayed by the people closest to us who called themselves our “family”. We have been so broken by this and are grieving. We are seeking God but it seems some days the pain is as real as the day is happened. We have since moved across the country and it seems so clear this is where God wants us but my doubts are so huge right now and I struggle to look at “church” people in a good light. Its only been 5 months so its early days but of course, I just want to “get over it”. That isn’t reality. Thank you for this post. Thank you for your transparency.

    1. Thank you so much Rachel, I’m so glad this hit home with you. I’m so sorry that you went through that. Gosh that is so hard. I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. Hang in there. God is drawing you to Himself. sending big hugs and prayers xox

  50. There’s so much that I wanna say about fraternities and sororities but all I will say about that is praise the Lord you’re no longer a part of that sorority.

    Recently I’ve been reading through Jesus’ sermon on the mount and on different occasions been coming across the part where He says, “”Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

    Matthew 5:11‭-‬12
    Even though what you experienced then was humiliating and honestly straight up disrespectful you’re blessed because your intention was to point those young women in the right direction that would please God but they weren’t interested and clearly made an example of you for anyone who dare to challenge their way of doing things. (Sororities and fraternities have zero interest in pleasing God). We as believers will experience humiliating things like that and even worse but we know who we are in Christ and we know He is pleased when we do what pleases Him. It’s great that you aren’t bitter about it. It’s actually sad that not much has changed with those girls. (I can say the same about most of the girls I hung out with in high school). Would be great if they also come to know the Lord.

    1. Thanks so much SLR, for your support. You’re right – we have to keep putting His name out there even if it’s not super well received. Hugs and love xox

  51. I’ve just finished reading The Girls at 17 Swann St by Yara Zgheib. It is a novel that will be released in 2019. My book club won 10 copies for our meeting in Jan, so we received advance copies. It is about a young woman in recovery from anorexia. I’d like to see your review of the book!

  52. So glad God has brought you peace. My sister we have all been there. I once had a situation so humiliating and humbling for months I couldn’t talk about it without crying. Now when I share the story I can’t do it without laughing. That’s how good God is. What was once a source of pain has turned to tiumph and opportunities to minister the Word of God to others who face similar situations. I pray God will continue to use you in the same manner. Lena

  53. Most beautiful and reassuring post. I also grew up with a lot of things about God I recited from church, and only recently discovered the truth behind those mindless recitations. Each time, I have such epiphany, I can’t help but be Grateful.

    Only those with eyes can see the truth about God’s walk with them.

  54. Isn’t it just like the enemy to try to leave us vulnerable and broken. I love that you did not allow that to keep you from all that God had planned for you. I love that you allow God to use your struggles to reach others. While we shouldn’t dwell on the past, sometimes we need to glance back and be reminded of how far we’ve come. I’m celebrating with you today! You’ve come so far! 👏👏👏

    1. I really is. thank you for the encouragement! you’re right – God will always use everything for good! happy new year! hugs xo

  55. There have been so many times in my life that the same thing happened. I was struggling with something – I turned to the bible and He spoke to me. I have had this conversation with my own children – it’s great to pray but how good is a relationship where only one person speaks – make sure you listen to what He has to say too. Great post!

    1. Hey friend! You’re so right about that – we’ve got to listen! And how blessed are we to have a book full of His words! Hugs and love xox

  56. Love this article! The teeter totter of modern Christianity is balancing the effects of modern social mediums and the eternal truths of God… love it!

  57. That sounds like such a painful time, but what a good attitude you have about it. It sounds like you’ve really taken care of yourself and helped yourself heal.

    1. Thank you Kristin, for your kind words of encouragement! it really means a lot 🙂 hugs to you xox

  58. Seeing Godly smile on your face itself gives the ideas of God. He is always caring us but some of us do not care Him. Hence, it is always preferable for every one of us to be in attachment with God!!! Thanks for such a nice smile and beautiful blog.

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