1. I love Jesus, and I try to live my life accordingly.
2. I fail at doing that all the time.
3. I’m not as confident as I may seem. Inside there is an insecure girl that is desperate for acceptance and love.
4. And yet…I have trouble accepting the love I so desire.
5. It is scary for me to show how I really feel. Walls are easy to build and seemingly impossible to break down.
6. I love being with people, but I need some quality alone time to function optimally.
7. I care fiercely about my friends, and will be loyal until the end.
8. My word is the most important thing I own. I follow through – sometimes to a fault.
9. I am terrified of confrontation, and will even compromise my own feelings/wellbeing in order to please other people.
10. Nothing says how you feel, more than your actions.
Wouldn’t it be something if we all wore our deepest, most hidden feelings on our sleeves?
I think sometimes it’s important to take an inventory of who you are, what’s inside your heart, and where you’re really at.
The biggest part of my recovery from anorexia has been believing that the messy, broken, real Caralyn is worthy of love. And I think sometimes it’s important to take a proverbial look in the mirror and have a come to Jesus moment with yourself.
Because we’re all works in progress. God is working on my heart – shaping it, molding it – into one that is His.
And I think what I need to remember most here, is that yes – it is easy to write all those things on an anonymous blog, but letting others into those personal things is quite frankly, terrifying.
But that girl – the young woman with that laundry list of things she’d rather no one see – she is worth loving. All of her. The proof is on the Cross.
I guess this was just a reminder for me this morning. Maybe you needed to hear it too.
What’s one thing you would wear on your sleeve?
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157 responses to “10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times”
Caralyn, I love this so much. Yes it is so very hard to be vulnerable and I too struggle with that as well. All of these are amazing, and I admire you for being willing to share these with us. So beautiful. Praying for you sister, much love:)
Oh gosh, thank you Anna, I am so touched by your kind words. Yeah, being vulnerable is a scary thing. But i think it will be totally worth it in the end! Thank you for the prayers. know that you are in mine too! hugs xox
You are so right. I most definitely agree 🙂 thank you girl you are so sweet!
xoxoxo 🙂
This is a beautiful expression of who you are and what makes you so wonderful!! Thanks for sharing all of these things. You are amazing wonderful and beautiful!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo and Love!!
thank you Miguel. I appreciate your kindness so much. you’re a great friend. hugs xox
Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Beautiful post! Thank you so much for expressing your vulnerability. As maya angelo said “we are more alike than we are different”
You might enjoy a book called Two Chairs written by Bob Beaudine. It’s helped me a lot.
Thank you Diane. oh i love that quote so much! I will definitely check that book out. thank you for sharing. big hugs xox
You are very welcome!💕 one of my favorite quotes too😊
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God bless you sister.
I can relate to all 10. We all fight the same demons, and these same demons will always make us feel we have to earn it. The last thing these demons don’t want us to believe is that Jesus paid it all on Calvary.
This world has the wrong view of the “entitlement” Spirit in our youth.
They have the right heart that it should come freely, but little do they know that what they should seek FIRST is a relationship with God vs. the externals.
We are ALL entitled to God’s love and to receive freely God’s gift of the Holy Spirit.
Sadly, this world will teach us to a fault that we have to “earn” everything.
Being taught since childhood that we must earn everything, makes it extremely difficult for us to receive anything freely without guilt.
These demons want us to feel we need to earn the love of our significant others, family, friends and the Church.
And although a life of having to “earn it” is true outside the “Church”, it is not true inside the Body of Christ.
We cannot earn our way closer to God. And it’s starts by a sincere conviction that it is a gift that we must simply first receive.
And the more we can receive this FREELY from God, the easier it gets for us to receive it from others and to also freely give.
Remain the light and salt sister.
Thank you friend. Gosh I am so touched by this. Thank you for sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox
Why did I relate to this so much?
Hi friend, thanks for taking the time to read. 8 don’t know but I’m glad it did 🙂 Hugs and love xox
I really enjoyed this post. I would wear my desire to see people restored. I long to see a world where we stop fighting over political views and religious differences and instead walk in unity. I’ve read the Bible and I know this world doesn’t exist this side of heaven, but I would like to do as much as I can to make the people who encounter me know they are loved, valued, accepted, and welcomed regardless of their past, present, or future decisions and sin. “For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight. — Psalm 72:12-14
Thank you
So much Shell for your kind words. Oh gosh I love that psalm so much. A balm to my soul. Hugs and love xox
I swear these 10 are all me ❤️ you mean the world to me and loads of other people too. You are loved so much ❤️
Thank you Benny. So glad this resonated with you. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for the post.
Thanks JB. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
You are very graciously welcome BBB. Hugs and love to YOU!!!
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This is all normal!
By the time most people have ‘what they want’ figured out, they’re middle aged, and even then they’re too afraid to live it because of what other people ‘might think’ I’d say you’re ahead of the game!
Having a friend or two who you can lay bare your deepest inner feelings and secrets to helps LOADS.. once you can tell literally anything to one person and there are no consequences just love and acceptance, it’s easier to do that to the rest of the world too. This has been a game changer for me.
Do your thing, live it, own it 🙂
Aw thank you Charlie. I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement. That is so powerful. Own it. Yes! Hugs and love xox
Honesty. That’s crackin’ girl! -Jeff
Thanks Jeff. Hugs and love xox
What a beautifully honest post! I am sure you won’t be as afraid or insecure once you find the right guy, or he finds you! I say that because my wife was that way. Being secure in love changes us in so many wonderful ways. 🙂
Thank you so much my dear friend. Gosh I so appreciate the encouragement. That gives me so much hope! Hugs and love xox
Blessings! 🙂
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Amen! I need to see myself through the eyes of Jesus or I can get down on myself too. I am so thankful for His love! P.S. Awesome coat! God bless!
Hey Ryan, thank you so much. Yes! Through the eyes of Jesus! Aw thanks – it’s super warm! Hugs and love xox
For me, I’d have to add one more: “Remember to let Him help.”
Caralyn, you are making such a difference in the lives of many people you will never meet by your willingness to own your dark moments and share them. The world is better because of people like you. Don’t ever doubt that. Hugs and love from chilly Kentucky– Mike
Oh my goodness YES!! I love that additional one so much! Thank you so much for such kind words, Mike. I am so touched and grateful. Hugs and love xox
[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/01/31/10-things-i-wish-i-could-wear-on-my-sleeve-at-all-times/ […]
Thanks for the link up. Hugs and love xox
I agree with this list for myself (except #9 to a lesser degree)!
Thank you so much Steve. So glad it resonated with you. Hugs and love xox
love this post- so relatable. We’re all a work in progress and a beautiful mess! 🙂 <3
Thank you Cait. So glad it resonated with you. Hugs and love xox
I like your list, and it’s very sweet, especially #1 & #2 because it is the same way for me. I love Jesus, too. I do not adequately show him.
Thank you so much Nike. 🙂 glad it hit home with you. Hugs and love xox
[…] via 10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times — BeautyBeyondBones […]
Thank you for the link up. Hugs and love xox
7. I care fiercely about my friends, and will be loyal until the end.
This is me and I end up getting mowed over. This has caused me great pain & trust issues.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us. 💕
Oh good! I’m so glad it hit home with you. Oh gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. No one deserves to be mowed over. big hugs to you xoxo
I cannot imagine wearing any of those on my sleeve. Even with Christ’s love I still consider myself someone who needs to hide. God bless you for being so bold!
Thank you John. God sees you and loves you so much:) just like He does all His precious children 🙂 Hugs and love xox
As always, I love you. You are my courageous hero sister under our mutual Father God. Your beauty is deeply internal and tied not to those pesky persistent insecurities but tied most perfectly to who God made you to be, His glory shining put from you. That is what I always mean when I call you beautiful. God bless you today as always!!XOXO 😄❤
Oh Tonya, thank you so much my dear, sweet friend. Gosh, I am so touched by this. God has made us all beautiful in His image! big hugs to you xox
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I think many of us feel the same way. I still feel like a little kid on the inside and as scared as I ever was.
Thank you so much Tony 🙂 I’m glad it resonated with you. i feel you there. hugs xox
I would have to put on mine, I enjoy not being perfect! It gives me an excuse/ reason to study the word. If I were perfect than I would never get to be among the ones I love.
thank you, friend. Yes! I enjoy it too! amen! hugs xo
Love this! Definitely interesting to think about…
Thank you Georgia 🙂 yeah, I don’t know why this was put on my heart this morning, but it was, so I decided to share! 🙂 thanks for taking the time to read! hope you have a beautiful weekend! hugs xo
Beautifully written. I loved this Caralyn 😊. I can relate to it. They are done I have embraced and learned from and yes God is still at work in each of our lives 🙌🏿
Thank you Karen 🙂 I’m so glad it resonated with you. Amen! He’s always at work, and what a miracle that is! hugs xox
Lovely and courageous post.
Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox
As I’ve said before there’s honesty on this page that is a rare treat in this age. Yes of course we all have challenges similar to yours and that’s why we need to be of comfort and support to each other. Keep being yourself and stay close to the Lord who loves you more than any human being is capable of loving. He is special and He wants us with Him someday so hang in there.:)
Thank you Ian, what a kind thing to say. You’re so right about that – He wants that so much. Hugs and love xox
This post, apart from being from a woman… in my head all the time. You’re in my head, please get out.
Seriously though, great post.
Haha thank you Daniel. So glad it resonated with you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Thanks so much for sharing Caralyn.
Well, for starters, there are a lotta things I’d like to wear on my sleeves to, but i guess the with the thickest font would be “i wish the world around me would give up its persistent quest to scare heck out of me”.
But it’s not happening any time soon. So i guess it’s just to consistently toughen up, by the grace of God that is
Thank you Ned for sharing that. Oh yes, God can help in that department. Hugs and love xox
Wonderful! You express in a lovely way the gifts of the Holy Spirit in your person. May He fill your heart, His faithful.
Thank you Gerry. Wow what a kind thing to say 🙂 God is good. Hugs and love xox
“…But that girl – the young woman with that laundry list of things she’d rather no one see – she is worth loving…”
She is, hang in there & GOD Bless.
Oh gosh thank you friend. You are so kind. Hugs and love xox
Absolutely Beautiful!
Thank you friend ! Hugs and love xox
My beloved spouse Patricia was a very private person and never wore any of herself on her sleeve; Yet everyone who saw us together could readily see we were very much in love. Patricia and I were lucky enough to discover that quiet, intense love that is basic to life itself; it is seldom found in real life. We had the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most real to each other. God is very much a part of our love; we are still together in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Thank you, my dear friend, for sharing that about Patricia. That is so beautiful how God was part of your love. It will be the sweetest reunion. 💛 Hugs and love xox
Living in this world of sin, as a sinner who succumbs to the temptation to sin every day, is hard. Which is why Jesus came to do it for us! He was born to be our substitute under God’s holy Law, lived perfectly to be our righteousness by faith, died on the cross to forgive all the sins of all people of all time, rose victoriously from the grave so that we too might rise from the grave, and ascended in heaven with the promise that he will come back and take all believers in him to Paradise.
Thank you Ed for sharing your thoughts on this. Yes! He did it for us! Hugs and love xox
It’s impressive that someone so young can have such insight. You are so right – we are all work in progress.
Thank you, friend. Gosh, you are kind to say that. Yes we are! Hugs and love xox
Well said!!
Thank you friend! Hugs and love xox
Wearing such matters on our sleeves, would enable us to show things we care about without talking about it, but would give us a starting point to talk about them
Thank you friend. I think you’re so right about that. Would open up some important conversations. Hugs and love xox
This was great! It makes people much closer to know we share some of the same insecurities.
Thanks Tomashia! Yes i agree! Hugs and love xox
Such a great question! Maybe “Work of God – Still In Progress” or something like that. . .
By the way, I’m going to be chaperoning a field trip in your little town at the end of this month! It’s a pretty packed agenda and I’ll be responsible for several young men and women, but I’ll certainly think about you and pray for you while I’m walking all over the place!
Thank you so much Heather 🙂 Love that – still in progress – yes! oh how fun!! I hope you and your group have an absolute blast! thanks for the prayers, know that you all will be in mine too! hugs xox
Loved post. “insecure girl that is desperate for acceptance and love.” Stood out for me, i think we all feel insecure and are desperate for acceptance and love., dont you think your alone. 🙂
Thank you so much friend 🙂 I appreciate your encouragement and support. I think you’re right about that! hugs xox
I dont think you realise just how awesome you are. Easy mistake..lol
Oh my gosh – I am so touched. Thank you again
Your posts consistently blow me away. Thank you for being so awesome. God is at work!!
Oh gosh, Laura Beth you are too kind. thank YOU for being such an awesome friend!!! hope you have a fabulous weekend. hugs xo
XOXO
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My response to the message in the beautiful photo above is: I will do the next right thing as soon as I know what the right thing is! I wish God would lower a billboard from the sky so I could follow instructions. The bible is not always so clear. Thanks for posting! Val
Hi Val, gosh thank you so much! haha I wish God would speak through billboards too! Divine billboards – what a concept! haha hugs xox
Shame and betrayal are the enemies of being authentic and vulnerable. We rightly fear that others would take advantage of these 10 perceptions for their own benefit and at our expense.
Your next book could have 10 chapters. You clearly have something to say. The one that stands out for me is the aversion to confrontation. My response at one time, was to exit and close that person from my life. I did not believe that such things could be discussed or resolved.
BTW: The story of my life before I found freedom and faith. The Knight in Rusty Armor http://hitmansystem.com/files/KnightInRustyArmor.pdf
Thank you so much Von, I really appreciate your kind words. I think you’re right about that. And gosh, you’re kind to say that! hugs xox
I have never met you in person, but love your blog and I want to say how proud I am of you. Being genuine and real about your life and your struggles in your blog has helped many people. I can’t help but think God smiles when you blog as you share how his grace has blessed you. Some day we will meet in heaven my little sister in Jesus.
For me lately it has been more of a what now feeling after having been through so much. Sometimes I wish the Lord would just take me home, but then he shows me there is more to do here. I can so relate to what Paul wrote in Philippians 1:
“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”
I am tired of the pain and struggles in this life but also know there are so many refugees to reach out to in my city and the Lord is not done with me in this life yet.
Oh my gosh I am so touched by this. Thank you so much for such generous words. I am humbled and grateful. Ah, that verse from Philippians is so powerful. thank you for sharing. hugs xo
That’s what living in a Christian community is about, right? Helping each other when we fail (#2) and shining brightly when we can (#1).
The BBB community is such an important one thanks to your openness. It’s why I’m still here after several years now. It’s an invitation to share amongst each other and open up.
I learned about sharing with people I don’t really know when my grandmother died. My manager at work – Tim Swiergosz – took me out after work just to give me some company. That evening was so helpful, I learned the value of talking to people outside of your situation to get perspective and comfort. It’s at least partly why professional therapists are so effective; they aren’t part of the “dance” of your inner circle.
That’s what BBB does so well. It’s a forum for people to have that sharing free from the entanglements, the stimulus/response of the more familiar. You lead by example, and people respond to it. You benefit from it also, as I’ve watched the growth. After all, you can’t outgive whenever God is involved!
With hugs, Jeff
Hi Jeff! Ah, yes, that is so true — that is the beauty of community for sure! And you’re right, I am so grateful for such wonderful friends on here, like you!! Wow, what a powerful memory. You’re right – it’s always so helpful and comforting to have someone to process with. thank you again 🙂 You da best! hugs to you and Julie! xox
Naw, YOU da best. I wanna be like you when I grow up. Hugs back to you!
Hahahahah 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Finally got to read one of your posts! Appreciate the transparency, I definitely share some of those with you! Keep writing for His glory- you gotta gift girl!
Thank you so much Sean!! You’re kind to say that. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
I was really taken away by your ability to expose yourself, then without thinking about it you express where your strengths are and how you hide them. You are very much like all of us. Most are afraid to bring those things up for fear of failure. You make it so easy that there is little of no exposure. You are great the way you are and I would never think to change you.
Thank you friend. I appreciate your encouraging words. I am truly touched 🙂 Blessings to you, friend! Hugs and love xox
C – meant to tell you – I like the new graphics !
Oh hey thanks!! 🙂
Beautifully written. Humanity has become a life of three-lives. Who we want to be, who we pretend to be, and the real us. There’s no need to judge yourself nor hide. Interestingly, all the things we wish upon ourselves… nobody cares. I spent a good portion of my life trying to please everyone around me and god. Losing faith was enlightening. I realized I held the power over my life and I’m better for it. “psychotherapy ends the moment we stop defending the organism for being an organism”—Alan Watts. The truth is, we’re all pretty awesome—and quirky and beautiful—slightly neurotic and gullible. So what? Love it! You seem to have a good core, but faith lets us dwell in the dichotomy of secrets. Living a double life benefits no one. Do unto others as we would have them do unto us takes on a whole new meaning when deprecating ourselves from the moments we decide to merely believe. The state of the religions begin with the premise that your no good without god. Well, it’s pretty evident where that belief has taken us.
Thank you so much Jim, for your kind words. And thank you
For sharing your story. You’re so right about that! We’re all beautifully complex! Glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
Love this post! Such honesty! Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. 🙂
Aw thank you friend 🙂 i appreciate you kind words of encouragement. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Everyone has insecurities… God desires for us to bring them and everything we feel to Him. We find complete security and fulfillment in the Lord — and only in Him. It’s a beautiful gift I pray everyone will realize!
Thanks Terese. You’re so right about that. Bring them to Him! I will join you in that prayer! Hugs and love xox
I love the authenticity of your voice! As a survivor of ed-nos, I’m going through this also! Us survivors need to stick together and boost each other up!
Hey Kelly! Oh gosh thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. Yes! I’m in your corner, warrior! Hugs and love xox
[…] via 10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times — BeautyBeyondBones […]
Thank you for the link up! Hugs and love xox
One thing I wish I could write on my sleeve: I’m constantly learning how to really love.
Thank you Anesii. I feel ya there. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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I relate with everything you are saying! Thank you for being brave enough to share your heart and story. “Anonymous blog” and all. 😉 <3
Thank you so much 🙂 im so glad it hit home with you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing this! I too love Christ and mess up. But as long as we’re here we get more chances to do things better than we did before.
Great post!
Thank you friend. Amen to that! What a comforting thought! Hugs and love xox
Nice 👍
Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox
I’ve read somewhere that “When you are about 20, you really care how others see you. When you are middle-aged, you don’t care what they think anymore. By the time you are considered “elderly”, you realize that they were never really watching you as much as you thought!”
What’s one thing I’d wear on my sleeve? That: “I am no worse and no better than anyone else, but I have a hard time ‘getting’ that.”
Good read; thanks.
Shalom,
Yah’s girl
Thank you for sharing this powerful perspective! I love your quote. Hugs and love xox
[…] via 10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times — BeautyBeyondBones […]
Thank you for the link up! Hugs and love xox
This was sooo beautiful!!!! And I loved your jacket!!! But the piece you wrote was stirring! Thank you so much for words!
Thank you Aubrey 🙂 I appreciate that! And ooh it’s a super warm jacket! Hugs and love xox
There are probably no two persons who could be dissimilar as you and I. And yet, your ten things also the same ten things I would also wear on my sleeve. Your story is not my story and yet I sense the same underlying threads in your storyline that are so uncannily familiar. Strange!
Thank you friend. Just goes to show that we’re all in this together. 🙂 big hugs xox
Enjoyed this
Thanks Kreemer 🙂 Hugs and love xox
your ten are my ten, Caralyn. Beautiful post.
Thank you David. Hugs and love xox
I can totally relate to 5,6,7. Sometimes I rehearse how I want to pour my heart out to someone but when the time comes for me to actually do it, I just go straight to the point and leave my heart out of it… I really get frustrated at me sometimes.
One thing I would like to wear on my sleeve, sometimes I stay on my own rather than being in the midst of people not because I’m a snob but because sometimes I’m too shy to express myself in a group conversation.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m glad this resonated with you. Ah yes, that’s another good one to wear on the sleeve. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
I can completely relate to most of these 10 things!
oh good! i’m so glad! thanks for stopping by! hugs xox
A masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time – –
I think that is perfect.
We are ALL a product of our past, and it’s up to us, to take those things from the past that are what we need and want to keep for our future, and throw away what is worthless.
Thank you for reading my post. I came to see who you are.
I’ve had this blog forever. I write volumes daily. Yet, I never post. Dunno why. I used to. Have an old blog FULL. Lol.
Knowing nothing about you except what I just learned with a quick scan, I want to leave you with a little gift …
I am proud of you. For all you have come through. For believing and sticking to that belief. For recognizing your faults and not letting them define you.
I see you say you have trouble ACCEPTING love. In most cases, I do also.
Took 20+ years with my husband to understand that he not only loves me now, he did all the time before, and he will every day after today.
(Before I even start this, let me admit that I rarely get my words from others. When I do, I say I did. For example: You should watch a Ted Talk that changed so many things for me… it’s called “How to stop screwing yourself over.” It’s by Mel Robbins. She says she changed her entire life in 5 seconds. She’s crazy amazing. But, when she did that talk, she was NOWHERE near where she is now. The talk is about 20ish mins long, but her method is literally only 5 seconds long.”
See, I quoted someone. Most of what I write is my own ideas, thoughts, and things I have learned through my own experience in the world. So, uh…. sometimes I find myself making things up as I go along. Not because I’m trying to mislead anyone, not because I’m just saying ridiculous stuff.
I just write whatever comes to me, whatever comes to my mind at the moment. That’s what I’m about to do right now. Okay? Lol.)
Try this. Every single time someone says something positive to you, FORCE YOURSELF, to look in their eyes, and immediately say “thank you.” Just THAT. Count to 5, while you look at them.
Then, COMPLIMENT THEM IN RETURN.
It WON’T always work at first. Just keep at it.
Here’s the thing. I’m not a religious person. Because of what I have been through. That doesn’t mean I don’t BELIEVE.
I understand religion. I studied all of the varieties I could.
Try thinking about the following thoughts in regards to the above exercise. The little behavior change, is “simple, not easy”. (Mel Robbins says that. Lol.)
But, I find it easier to DO simple things like that, if I have some kind of SOLID forethought to support the reasoning behind the action. It isn’t always accessible. Sometimes, you have to “make it up.” You can add motivation, strength, and the drive to KEEP doing it, by making it real and personal for you.
Therefore, I offer the following to you:
1- God has sent this person to me to show me that he values me and so do others.
– Don’t turn away God’s messenger or deny what they have said to you. He sent them. He didn’t tell them what to say. He trusted the person to see for themselves what you need to hear today. God is BUSY. So, he leaves some things to US, yeah?)
2- God has also sent this person to ME, because he needs me to give this person a message that they are appreciated (that’s the “Thank You”.) and that their kindness is not unnoticed nor is it without purpose. Don’t let God’s messenger feel like they have spoken empty words to a silent person.
And the MOST important….
3- God sent that person to you because he needs YOU to tell that person something they need to hear. RIGHT NOW. Not later. You have to accept their words, thank them, and then tell them what they need to hear, before they get away.
This one is what will get you through the first two easier.
Sometimes you will sputter after a compliment. I do. But, when you do that, a person has a chance to get away from you before you have a chance to say something, right?
Think about this, what if the message you are given, was exactly what you needed to head off a disaster that day? Or to make you feel better after a rough day? What if the road between failure and continuing your path, is as simple as one sincere compliment? I’ve been there.
Now, flip that over. What if YOUR WORDS, are what that person needs to hear right then? What if god needs you to give the other person, the things a compliment can do for you?
Not to be grim, but suppose any random person you come upon in 100,000 is one of the 14 people that will commit suicide that day. That is the rate of suicide in the US, as of 2017. (Old data I know. Sorry. I just did a quick google. https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/ )
That’s an average of 129 people a day.
It could be you.
It could be me.
Just scanning your blog and seeing 4 facts about you, I know you have probably been on the edge at some point.
I have. More times than I could count. Really. I stopped counting long before the last one in 2004.
WE could be in those statistics. So could anyone you encounter today. What if everyone we meet or interact with today, is ONE COMPLIMENT AWAY FROM BEING THAT STATISTIC?!?!
What if you save someone every day?
With a single compliment? You wouldn’t KNOW that you did.
But you don’t know that you didn’t. I don’t.
God’s messenger to you, doesn’t know if they just saved you.
DON’T WAIT!! don’t stumble over your words Pooh Pooh-ing what they said.
Accept it!!
Thank them!!!
And just in case, don’t let them get away without a sincere compliment from you.
Now, sometimes, people will give a “passing compliment”. I find this frustrating. Because they are literally passing you and you don’t have the chance to even TRY to not sputter and tell them “oh. The cake is just a box mix.” Or “I really don’t think these shoes are all that. So old.”
In this case, (It’s not ALWAYS the best idea. YMMV.)
But, sometimes, you have a chance to catch a passing person’s hand, or jacket tail… IF you feel it is okay, GRAB IT.
Or call their name, loud and clear, if you know it.
Or if don’t know them, yell out, “HEY. OH. WAIT. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!!!”.. and if you have NOTHING…..
Um. Well, truthfully, you NEVER have nothing. You have words, you have hugs, you have smiles, handshakes, thank you’s, and compliments.
God gave you those things. They are always with you. They are free. They never run out.
Plus, if you can make safely and comfortably make physical contact with a person, that’s a bonus.
It’s a fact, that physical touch is good for humans and that most of us don’t get as much as we should. So, if you feel safe doing so, catching a passing complimenters hand, or gifting a quick hug, will improve their health (and yours.) Its happened, I’m SURE. But, it’s pretty rare, I think, for someone who has just given you a passing compliment to get mad about the few seconds it will take you to say thank you, and compliment them in return.
You don’t know what power lies behind your compliment.
You don’t know which of you God sent to who.
TL:DR???
K. God NEEDS you to QUICKLY accept that compliment, show appreciation, and GIVE A COMPLIMENT IN RETURN.
Because when you STOP feeling like the compliment conversation is ABOUT you, and thinking, “How can I best serve God by giving love to this messenger?”
You will probably stop turning love away at the door.
It’ll be like swallowing nasty cough syrup. Hold your nose and do it fast so you can get to the important stuff.
Just an idea.
No matter what. Remember, God loves you. And he is not the only person. You are WORTHY of love. The more love you HAVE, the more love you are capable of giving away.
That’s how it is supposed to work, I think.
I know. Long comment. It’s just “what I do”. Lol. If only I could write and post on my own blog more often. Maybe I need to start doing some journal prompts or something.
Anyway, listen. Thank you again. Just for reading my words. If nothing else, I feel heard.
And you have me a chance to spread some love your way. Your readers, too.
THAT makes everything on my heart a good bit lighter.
Be happy. (And don’t put it off!)
✌🏻❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈
thank you so much for this beautiful response. your heart is shining through, and i really appreciate the encouragement. big hugs xox
You are so very welcome. I look forward to perusing your blog.
I thought about my own words all day. I forgot to mention that, well, like I said, I made that up on the spot. I have a knack for that. In the years before I developed severe social anxiety and agoraphobia, I was a social butterfly. It’s hard to remember that person without wincing in pain at the loss of her.
I was always giving out little bits of love. That’s what I called them. Just like I did here. People who knew me, always said “Why is it you can help everyone but yourself?”
Last night, I realized I am still doing the same old thing.
I didn’t think of that whole thing I wrote as a solution to myself. I probably wouldn’t have HAD the thoughts at all, if I hadn’t come here, if you hadn’t made me feel heard.
So, this morning, I had a notification of your comment. WordPress crashed three times while I tried to scroll to what you said. Through what many others had said. So, I read others’ comments, about 4 times each. Lol.
I get down to my own comment. Read what you said. I had to re-read what I wrote. For some reason, I never really do that. I don’t re-read my writing. EVER. It’s almost a superstition.
I also have a tendency to FORGET what I wrote. Often my writing, occurs in a headspace that is intensely pin point focused. When I am writing, it just pours out, uninterrupted, and when it’s done, I pop back to reality, with little recollection of what I said. Just a feeling of “having got that out of my system.” I can guarantee you, that if I come upon another person, with a similar experience, that I won’t say the same thing to them that I did to you. It may serve the same purpose. But, the concept and advice would be completely different.
So, I had no intention of re-reading my own words. I had done so much “work” to get back here though, and I wanted to put your response into better context in relation to what I said.
I read what I write, and it was if someone else entirely wrote them. I barely recognize my own words.
And I thought, “yeah. That’s not an accident. First, I was forced to stop and read almost all of the other responses. Wonderful. And then, her reply, made me return here, made me feel heard, made me re-read my words. Not an accident at all.”
Thank you again for hearing me. And also, for somehow, redirecting my words back to myself.
I think I should probably take my own advice sometime.
🤔
Be happy. (And don’t put it off!) ✌🏻❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈
✨💛✨
Caralyn, thank you for your honesty, it’s so refreshing. It really made me think; ‘So what is it I wear in my sleeve?’ Listening. Yes, just listening to what clients, friends and family are saying. Sometimes it requires a response and sometimes not. Thanks so much for your helpful post, Suz.
Thank you Suz, listening. I love that – it is such a beautiful gift to people to jut get them 🙂 love that. Hugs and love xox