Washing Feet and A Recognition

It just so happens that tonight’s post is quite timely. So I invite you to take a little journey with me.

I received word today, on Holy Thursday before Easter, that my blog was named by HealthLine, (a USA Today top-ranked health information provider with 125 million followers) as their #3 ranked “Best Eating Disorder Recovery” Blog of 2019, behind only NEDA and ED-Hope – which are two incredible organizations. I am humbled, grateful and truly blessed by the recognition.

So thank you, to HealthLine, and thank you to you, reading this — for allowing me to share my story, and joining me on the journey to new life.

This recognition comes at a rather interesting moment.

Allow me to set the scene. I’m on my computer reading the Gospel from Holy Thursday Mass in preparation for the post. And I had just finished the passage of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet, when I got the email notification, informing me that I had been recognized by HealthLine.

Of course, I’m ecstatic. I call my parents. We do a little group hug over the phone. And then I get back my computer, and what is still up on my screen? But John 13: 13-15…

Photo: Passion of the Christ

So when Jesus had washed their feet and put His garments back on and reclined at table again, He said to them,
“Do you realize what I have done for you? …
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.“

Let me first start out by saying that I am not equating myself to Christ. Let’s get that out of the way. No way, José.

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have thought that I would share about my anorexia on the Internet – or in a book! Never in my life would I have thought that I’d share about all the invasively personal and honest things on here — I mean, I’ve freaking shared about my menstrual history and my virginity for crying out loud!

But I’ve pretty much shed every single layer of who I am, and have exposed the vulnerable, broken mess of a human, out here on this blog. And for better or for worse, you’ve come along for the ride.

But why? Why have I shared things that have caused me embarrassment? The loss of friendships? Potential employment opportunities?

It is because Jesus washed my feet.

Photo: Passion of the Christ

I’ve shared with abandon that the sole, determining factor of my recovery was fully realizing that my eating disorder was one of the nails that pinned Jesus to the Cross. It was realizing that He died to set me free from that, and to pay my debt. He took it on. He forgave me of it.

And for this HealthLine news to be coming in on Holy Thursday, as He’s washing their feet and preparing to die on the cross – the foundation of my recovery, and purpose for this blog – it is just so incredibly timely. Miraculous timing, you could say.

I wasn’t too broken for Jesus. My crimes weren’t unforgivable. My past wasn’t too dirty. The guilt and shame that I had been carrying around because of my anorexia — because of the manipulation, and deception and lying and destruction — all the shit that goes along with an eating disorder — none of it was too much for Jesus to handle.

He is greater. And He took it on. And humbled Himself to die on a Cross.

But before He did, on that Holy Thursday night, He knelt down and washed the feet of His disciples, and instructed them to go and do the same for others.

And that is precisely what I pray this blog has done. I don’t have much to offer in this life…but I do have my story. I do have the testimony of the incredible saving grace of Jesus. Jesus, the source of my recovery. The foundation of my life. And the purpose behind why I so very frequently embarrass the crap out of myself for free on the internet.

Photo: Passion of the Christ

It is because it matters. You matter. Your heart matters. And if the only way I can wash your feet is to offer hope to those who are walking a road I’ve already travelled…then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So how incredibly meaningful that this recognition came in on Holy Thursday, of all days.

I have never done this blog for “the numbers.” My motto has been, and always will be, that if I’ve helped even one person, it is worth it. Admittedly, sometimes I struggle with feeling inadequate, or like I’m just spinning my wheels. But I think this was just a little nudge from the Father to keep at it, and keep sharing.

There is no place more desolate than the mind of a hopeless person, trapped in the cycle of anorexia or another addiction.

But there is hope. There is always a way out. There is always always hope. And it is found in the freedom won by the Cross. I pray that my life is a big, messy example of that.

Have a blessed, Easter friends.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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198 responses to “Washing Feet and A Recognition”

  2. That is simply wonderful! And the truth of it all – that you serve because He serves us to the fullest! I love reading your blog and I have a daughter walking a road that drifts in the same direction so we have enjoyed many things you have written. Keep going!

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    • Thank you so much Bethany!!! I’m so glad this has hit home with you 🙂 big big hugs xox

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    • Hah thanks Johnzelle – I simply cannot resist a good gif! Thanks for such kind words. Hugs and love xox

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  6. First, let me congratulate you on your award. Secondly, let me thank you for your honesty, transparency, and overall genuine character. Your example is one to follow. Why do we all hide behind walls of pretension when we have real stories to tell and heartfelt inspiration to share. There is no real life example too sacred in this world to be shared with another human hungering for understanding and compassion. Our stories are all broken. And you, my friend, have capitalized on this with your example of humble and loving kindness. Have a beautiful day ☀️Erika

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    • Hi Erika! Oh my gosh thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so touched by this. Amen to that – our stories are beautifully perfect and worth telling!! Big big hugs xox

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    • Thanks friend, I appreciate that so much. Have a beautiful Easter. Hugs and love xox

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    • Hi John! Thank you so much, my dear friend. I really appreciate that. Hugs and love xox

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    • Hi Dave! Thank you so much – yeah I owe my life – literally – to Jesus. God is good! Happy Easter. Hugs and love xox

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  13. Well deserved!! Congratulations, Caralyn!! “But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel… Christ is preached; and in this I rejoice, yes, and will rejoice.” Philippians 1:12,18. Have a wonderful Easter!!

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    • Thank you so much Kenneth!! I love that passage!! The furtherance of the gospel! Amen! Hugs and love xox

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  14. ON HAIKU

    ◇ Gut Feeling

    If I know what I AM doing
    When I don’t know what I AM doing
    Then I DEFINITELY!!! know what I AM doing

    …◇◇◇…

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  15. Congratulations Caralyn, on the well deserved recognition. Thank you for all you are doing for hurting people, in any and every situation in their lives. I praise our Lord Jesus for your life and testimony, your daily living testimony, with boldness and empowering of Holy Spirit.
    God Bless you as you continue to move forward, growing closer to, and deeper in Christ. I am certain you Bless our Heavenly Father daily as you minister through your everyday life.

    God Bless you Precious Sister in Christ, and Friend.
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘

    A Happy Joyous Blessed Easter, and to your Family. Hope you have an opportunity to get home for a visit.

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    • Hi George! Aww thank you so much 🙂 gosh I am so touched by this. You’re a wonderful friend and God is so good!! Have a blessed Easter! Hugs and love xox

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  21. “Her vulnerability is intentional…” It’s more than that. It’s the true you who you are. Congratulations on this award you truly deserve. “To the word (bible) and to the testimony (ours)!” And you do both here very effectively and for the honor of Christ Jesus. God bless you as you continue in all the courage you have displayed. 👍 😊

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  22. I am so pleased for you! The award is an incredible validation of what you do and who you are and how generously you share both. Thank you for sharing your excitement with us. You’re the real deal! <3

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  23. Cute little shorts with your little self, actually I had something pertinent to say but now that I have been distracted it doesn’t want to come back to me, oh well good job keep it up!

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  26. Keep walking that path of humility demonstrated by Jesus in the washing of His disciple’s feet and you and I will some day be able to thank Jesus face to face for His grace and compassion as he represented the Father in this sacrificial act. 🙂

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  28. I found this today, Holy Thursday: “Place does not exist except in God. There is no time outside God. God is the beauty in all beauty. Those who allow divine friendship enjoy devine friendship, and it is almost that simple. You are that which you are looking for, and that is why you are looking for it. God’s life and love flows through you as soon as you are ready to allow it. That is the core meaning of faith – to dare to trust that God could and does have an eternal compassion towards you. Everyone who asked Jesus to heal them or help them had somehow made that simple act of trust that he cared – and so the flow happened and they were healed. No other pre conditions were ever required.” – Richard Rohr Essential Teachings on Love. page 215-216.

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    • Oh wow that is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with me. To dare to trust that God has compassion towards us. I love that. Hugs and love xox

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  31. I love this. 🙂

    “My motto has been, and always will be, that if I’ve helped even one person, it is worth it.” As a teacher, I often feel inadequate and ineffective, especially on those days when everyone is noisy and out of their seats and not listening. One of my classes has over half the kids failing right now. But I can’t reach everyone, and even if what I did made a difference to one student, it was worth it. I’ve kept in touch with some of my students over the years. I started teaching right out of college, and I was teaching high school at the time, so now I’m in this weird time warp where the first group of students I taught are in their mid-30s now, and I’m only in my early 40s. I’ve had some interesting Facebook conversations lately with a few of those early students, and even though their friends were all treating me like crap and saying terribly inappropriate things behind my back, that group gave me a chance, and we’re still friends today almost 20 years later. So I did make a difference.

    Another story about making a difference to one person that came up in my life recently… someone who my family knew as a kid fell in with the wrong crowd in his teens and ended up going to prison for a long time. None of us knew what happened to him after that. He got out earlier this year and is trying to turn his life around, and one of the first things he did was look up a few people he knew in the past who weren’t part of his criminal background. One of the people he got back in touch with was my brother, and it seems like the fact that he remembered our family decades later shows that we really made a difference to him.

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  32. Thanks for your humility and following Christ’s example so faithfully. You go girl, you’re beautiful 😊

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  35. Love, Love, Love this post! 😄 You are so honest and humble! God works so many miracles behind the scenes. When we get a glimpse of the small or larger picture of what He does for us…it is nothing short of amazing!! In our struggles, when we turn to Him, He transforms them from gigantic mountains into small hills that we can traverse or He just picks us up and carries us over the entire mountain. Through it all, and by that I mean the entire array of human emotions – joy from the Lord never leaves us once, we receive Him into our hearts!!
    Congratulations from the bottom of my heart on the award you received on such a special day. You were able to step back and see the whole picture of why it came to you exactly on the day it did. That’s a true gift! Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” As woman of faith, approaching her sixties (Wow…I didn’t just say that, did I lol), I can look back and see exactly what that verse means.
    I really relate to your statement, “My motto has been, and always will be, that if I’ve helped even one person, it is worth it.” because that is exactly mine, whether it be in person or online. Even during the long sabbatical, I was forced to take from my work for Him on my blog and FB – when He brought me out the depths of pain and despair with His healing touch – my blog and FB page, while still young, were still very much alive. He never fails us!! Many blessings to you and your wonderful mission!! 🙏🏻 ♥️ ✝️

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    • Aww thank you so much! I am so touched by this beautiful response. Amen – He transforms us! And never fails us! Hugs and love xox

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  38. Congratulation, my dear friend 🙂
    This all you owe due to your personal experiences and through them, you can help thousands of other people who are in a similar situation as you used to be. Continue your selfless help as a service to man (and those who are in need with similar experiences).
    All my good wishes may accompany you, dear friend.
    Have a happy Easter time with your family 🙂
    Didi

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    • Hi Didi! Oh thank you so much 🙂 my deepest prayer is to help even one person! 🙂 same to you! Have a beautiful Easter! Hugs and love xox

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      • Yes, dear friend, even when you only could help one person with your experience, all your efforts have been worth it. This is the merit of the Christ-power who put His Grace on you and those who were able to learn from your lessons (in this case we are in thankfulness to this great divine power and prevent by this that our ego and pride take the credit for it)
        Thank you, from heart to heart
        Didi

  39. Reading this post, I do have to take issue with one thing Caralyn; equating yourself to Christ. I don’t know what it is thought at Mass or maybe you don’t have the extra bible studies that we do. You see, that’s the very thing that you should do. Or at least work to.

    Let me explain… the whole purpose of Christ’s mission here in earth was to show humanity how to live. He wasn’t just some beacon of holiness. In all intents and purposes, he was 100% man; and yet he was also 100% God.
    Our goal should not be to walk around with self-righteousness ringing in our heads, but the fact that we should strive to equate ourselves to Christ, the man, because that is what God wants.
    In all his teachings, he always referred himself to as “The Son of Man”.
    It simply means, we are called to walk with our heads high, having authority & dominion of sickness, evil spirits, etc; a power Christ achieved to give us by his death on the Cross. When performing miracles, Christ himself told his disciples that they would do greater things then He.
    However, the flip side is to be humble enough to strip away enough to reveal that we too are human beings, flawed with scars of our past; clearly showing, just as Christ did, one is never “too holy” or “too important” to serve his fellow man. This is what it truly means to be a Christian.

    Just as Christ emptied himself on the Cross, you have emptied yourself here.
    So Congratulations in the recognition. This is a sign you’re on the right track. It’s God’s way of approving what you’re doing.

    Keep up the good work.

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    • This is such a powerful perspective. And so true – we are supposed to strive to emulate our savior. WWJD. I am incredibly touched and humbled by your generous and kind words. Thank you friend. Have a blessed Easter weekend. Hugs and love xox

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  40. YES CARALYN 🙂 congratulations on the award but also wow. This is so incredible and beautiful girl. I am so proud you. You are truly amazing and such an example of boldness in your faith, so beautiful to witness.

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  41. Congratulations Caralyn! So excited for you, for one. For two, thankful for you, your blog, your courage. And for three, very proud of you for giving God the glory and staying focused inspite of the wonderful news. ☺

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    • Thank you so much Daisy!! Yes!! God is amazing and I owe Him absolutely everything!! Thanks for sharing in the joy with me 🙂 big big hugs xox

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  44. Congratulations on your recognition. They cannot put you down after all. You have a Happy Good Friday and a Happy Easter.

    P.S. I will gladly wash your feet.

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  46. Congratulations! You are worthy! And I hope you will fully embrace that thought. Thank you for sharing your deep and personal thoughts and you encourage all of us to rise higher. Peace;)

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  47. Love everything about this post! <3 Congrats on the blog recognition and thank you for continuing to share your love of Christ with others. 🙂 (And I LOVE my B3 shirt!)

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    • Hi Christine! Aw, thank you friend!! And oh my gosh YAY!! I’m so glad you love it!! I cannot begin to express how much I appreciate your support 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  48. A BIG congratulations to you on this amazing award!!! Well Deserved!
    God is really using you and your story to be the light in this sometimes dark world. Keep it up, Caralyn! And also a special recognition to your parents for raising such a beautiful young woman. Hugs!

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    • Hi friend! Aw thank you 🙂 i am humbled by your generous words! Haha aw you’re sweet! I’m about to see them! They’re picking me up at the airport so I will definitely pass that along 🙂 have a blessed Easter! Hugs and love xox

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    • Thank you Beverly – that has been the saving phrase of my life. His mercy and love are vast like the ocean! Hugs and love xox

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  50. Congratulations! I know your blog is one of the very few that keeps me coming back. I love your honesty and can relate to you so much as a Christian who suffers with anorexia and is just at the end of my first year in recovery. Thank you.

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    • Hi friend! Oh my gosh, thank you for saying that 🙂 I am so touched. And i am so excited for you and your recovery! Way to embrace life!!! I hope you can hear me cheering for you as you reclaim your life! You’re a rock star!! Hugs and love xox

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    • Hi Pastor Alan, thank you for such kind words. God is so good and I and so grateful to Him for saving my life! Hugs and love xox

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  52. I am so happy for you. What a blessing. You are obviously touching others and giving them hope. It is wonderful to be able to help even one person. I love your honesty. Your loving spirit and your love for Christ and our Lord and his promise is a blessing as well. Thank you for your kind heart and what you do. With love from one sister to another.

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    • Hi Joni! Oh my gosh I am so touched by your generous words. Thank you. God is so good and I owe Him my life! Big hugs to you sister! 🙂 Xox

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    • Thank you so much Dennis. Same to you, friend! Have a blessed Easter weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  54. I rejoice and give thanks that God has used (and continues to use!) your witness so abundantly. To have your blog recognized in a field that is not “automatically” Christian is the Lord opening a door in his love for those who struggle.

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    • Thank you so much:) I owe Him my life and it brings me so much joy to share! I appreciate your kind words! Hugs and love xox

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  55. Congratulations on being named #3! It must be a high honor. 🙂 And thank you for continuing to share the message of God’s love and grace through the cross.

    PS> I asked my church small group if they’d like to share the love by actually washing each other’s feet. All of them were pretty much: “Hey man, I love you all, but no one’s touching my feet. It’s too gross.” LOL

    XOXO

    PPS> I can’t help but share my favorite movie quote: “There are no points for 2nd place.” LOL Seriously though, congrats!

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    • Thank you so much!! Haha – yeah My favorite mass is the Holy Thursday service where the priest washes out feet. It is so beautifully humble. And haha!! Love the movie quote!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  56. You wrote, “I am not equating myself to Christ. Let’s get that out of the way. No way, José.” While you may not want people to think that you are, perhaps you should. Remember Jesus came to be one of us, that we might be one with Him. Τετέλεσται
    Pax, jbt

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    • Hi jbt, this is a really great point. You’re so right – WWJD – we are supposed to follow after Him and try to live our lives the way He did. that’s a powerfu perspective, thank you 🙂 hugs xo

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  57. “But there is hope. There is always a way out. There is always always hope. And it is found in the freedom won by the Cross. I pray that my life is a big, messy example of that.”
    Amen, Caralyn. Praise Jesus, that He took on the wrath we deserved. The fact that we have hope in a world so broken and hopeless is incredible– for some reason it reminds me of the hopelessness of Sol Pais, the 18 year old who wanted to shoot up high schools and ended up committing suicide. No Jesus, no hope.

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    • Amen, there is always hope. What a tragic situation, my prayers are with her loved ones. So tragic. The world needs Jesus. hugs xo

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    • Hey Laura! aw, thank you so much!! happy Easter to you as well, I hope you have a beautiful and meaningful weekend. big hugs xo

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  62. “I wasn’t too broken for Jesus.”

    Wow. That’s the power and beauty and hope of the gospel right there.

    None of us are too broken.

    And He doesn’t leave us in our brokenness, in our messiness, in our pain, in our deadness. I’m reminded of your recent post where you reminded us of how God brings dry bones back to life.

    You’ve truly blessed me. Thank you. May this Resurrection Sunday bring you much joy!

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    • Amen to that – that is the hope of Christ!! Amen amen amen! Thank you for your wonderfully kind words 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  63. Congratulations!! What great timing to receive that nudge of encouragement. ☺️ I certainly enjoy your openness and honesty. It gives me courage to do the same! Happy Easter, C!! 🐣

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    • Thanks so much friend 🙂 I so agree – God is always so timely with His encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  64. Wonderful news and perspective! I am so glad you are getting this award and recognition. Foot washing is very meaningful for me because of one experience in particular. I participated in what is known as the “Walk to Emmaus” in my Protestent circles, but Catholics know it as “Curcillo.” Have you ever heard of it? I had the blessing of being a ‘pilgrim’ and later a clergy leader in several ‘Walks.’ There was a special foot-washing ceremony at the end of our instructor training where our leader went from one to the other of 20+ people on her knees and washed one of each person’s feet. It was a profoundly humbling and empowering moment. The whole “Emmaus” experience is unique and inspiring. If there is a “Cursillo” nearby you or anyone else who reads you, I would recommend it highly. Thanks to God for you and your honesty and faith. As always, blessings to you and yours and a very happy Resurrection Day!

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    • Thank you DT, I appreciate that – Oh wow – I haven’t heard of that, but it sounds incredibly powerful! will have to look into that for next year! big hugs xo

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    • Hi Gideon, thank you so much 🙂 I appreciate you taking the time to read 🙂 big hugs xox

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  66. Awesome insights, B3! I truly admire the love you have for Christ, for how you help others thru your personal story, and your frankness and humility.

    Btw: I just noticed your little “B3” moniker, and I thought “Don’t Be square. B3. (‘B’ Cubed) ” heheh. Cute. ☺

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    • Thank you so much! Gosh, what a kind thing to say. And haha yes!! Don’t be square! love it!!! have a blessed Easter! hugs xo

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  67. Most sincere congratulations! The Grace of God shows itself through your work! It is a pleasure to read your writings and an inspiration to see what one person can do through such a medium as this. I am sure you will have great success in the future.

    I am an accountant by trade and this sort of thing is interesting to me, and I am sure you are surrounded by wiser advisors and better counsel than I can offer here; nevertheless please forgive this unsolicited advice. You point out that you are ranked on the same list as other organizations and as far as I can tell, you are a solo operation, just a girl with a story, a passion, and the Grace of God making this all happen. Many non-profits have been founded on less. You could use the brand you are building as a launching point to do great things, to help people beyond sharing your story and giving them an inspiration and strength in their own struggles.

    A non-profit could really magnify your reach. Maybe you’re content with the way things are, but I just wanted to let you know you are positioned for growth and you clearly have thousands of people who respect you, support you, and would follow you whatever you end up doing.

    God bless you, and congratulations again.
    AMDG
    -Scoot

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    • Thank you so much Scoot 🙂 what a kind thing to say – God is good!! and oh my gosh I really appreciate this terrific advice. THANK YOU! I have been praying about how to grow and find a way to support myself through this blog, so I will absolutely be looking into that option. You’re awesome, thank you! I hope you have a blessed Easter. Hugs and love xox Caralyn

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      • I would be happy to share further thoughts about the non-profit option if you are interested. Today is the (liturgical) 1st anniversary of my conversion so I will be at the vigil tonight to support the next class of prodigal sons and daughters returning home. I will include you in my prayers tonight. You have a blessed Easter as well!

      • Oh gosh, thank you for your prayers 🙂 and wow – congrats on your anniversary! that is so SO exciting and wonderful. and just – wow, so awesome. i will certainly be keeping you in my prayers as well!! Happy Easter!

  71. Wow! Congratulations, Caralyn! What an honor!!!

    Without meaning to be the contrarian, you have a lot to offer in this life. I believe we all have a lot to offer. We all have the ability to love God and others and use that love of God and others to transform more than one may ever realize.

    Happy Easter!!!

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    • Thank you so much Brendan! You’re kind to say that. And you’re so right! We all have have that wonderful ability!! Hugs and love xox

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  78. Congratulations Caralyn! And how pleased He most definitely is that you would allow Him to speak through you, as He did for the Father. I love that the prayer card you are holding is that of Divine Mercy. “For the sake of His sorrowful passion have mercy on us and on the Whole World.” Fitting indeed for such a joyous occasion as the celebration of your discipleship!! Hugs and blessing to you, dear one

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    • Thank you so much Dawn Marie! 🙂 I absolutely love the Divine Mercy – amen! It has really seen my family through some tough times! hugs ox

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  80. Congratulations Cara. You more than deserve the recognition. And thank you for always pouring yourself out here. More grace and strength to you.

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    • Thank you so much 🙂 oh my gosh i am so touched by that. Same to you! Hugs and love xox

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  81. Well preached and presented. Your heart is beautiful to see. Motives are everything and people like me get it. Who wants to listen to someone who doesn’t care about them? I’m sick of professionally cold and impersonal articles. I want warmth, heart, personal experience, and some love felt. You embody all of that. Keep it up girl. Don’t ever stop.

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    • thank you again. you’re on a reading roll! thanks for such generous words. hugs xo

      Reply

  83. This post is one example of why I shared about you with my EGroup at church. We have some former Catholics and someone asked if I considered Catholics Christians and I said absolutely. I shared how when I read your blogs, I see a sister in Christ who just happens to go to a different house. Your love for Christ, the way you share scripture, it’s so breathtaking!! It makes me want to celebrate because doe so long I didn’t know folks like that within the Catholic Church. It was more family culture versus a relationship with Jesus. That made me sad because – as you know – there is so much more we experience when we dive in for ourselves!!! I love reading your posts, even when we don’t see eye-to-eye on an issues. Thanks for being such a beautiful demonstration of His love walked out here on Earth, Caralyn!

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    • You are on a reading roll!! and gosh, thank you again for sharing my blog with your EGroup – I am truly, honored. Grateful for you!!!

      Reply

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