In recent days here, in light of Alabama’s recent Human Life Protection Act, there seems to be a caustic energy that is sweeping the world.
Celebrities like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Pink, Reese Witherspoon, Cynthia Nixon, Rihanna, Courteney Cox, Kylie Jenner, Emma Watson, Karlie Kloss, Hilary Duff, Gigi Hadid, Diddy, Ellen Degeneres, Ariana Grande and countless others, have joined in the outrage of our neighbors and former classmates on Facebook, shouting “Men Shouldn’t Be Making Laws About Women’s Bodies.“
They’re doxxing the people who voted in favor of the bill. And Alyssa Milano has even gone so far as to pledge a #SexStrike in protest of the prolife legislature that is “robbing” them of their “bodily autonomy.”
Well tonight, instead of joining the argument about this deeply emotional issue, I instead wanted to offer a different perspective on my own relationship with my body, as someone who has had to live with the results of my choice for the last 11 years now.
If you were to ask me, when I was in the throes of my anorexia, I would have shouted from the rooftops: “MY BODY, MY CHOICE.”
Because that’s exactly how I was living: I was choosing to destroy my body through starvation, obsessive exercise, insomnia, and other destructive manifestations of my eating disorder.
I did not want ANYONE to have any say over the way I was choosing to treat it. I wanted to destroy it as I so pleased, and there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could say or do otherwise about it.
And in fact, as an 18-year old high school senior, no one could. Because I was legally an adult.
And so even though I was clearly a danger to myself, and was wasting away to 78 pounds, my parents, legally could not force me to go to inpatient treatment. Because it was…my body, my choice.
And even though I would have never said, “I want to die,” that’s exactly what my actions — my choices — were not only communicating, but successfully manifesting.
You know what my choice got me?
Osteopenia at 18 years old.
All my hair fell out.
I never got my period, and even to this day, I still have only menstruated thrice.
My circulation, even to this day, sucks.
I suffered from edema for six years, even after recovering.
My relationships took a huge hit.
I had to drop out of college.
And I can still struggle with feeling unworthy of love.
I wish I could just go back in time, and shake that strong willed, hurting, and terrified young girl and say, “Your choices are killing you.”
I would hug her so tightly and not let go.
There’s so much I wish I could tell her. So much perspective that I would share, now — as a whole, healthy, and healed young woman — that I so desperately needed to hear back then.
Because the only way I have been able to embrace recovery, and leave those destructive behaviors behind, was to realize that — my body was not mine to destroy.
Yes, it was my body, but my choice? Not quite. My body is a gift – on loan to me by the Father. And you know what, yeah that might seem a little bit “out there.” But take it from someone who was literally knocking on death’s door — there are certain things you wake up to when you’re teetering on the edge.
When I realized and embraced that I was a child of God, and handmade by the Father, it suddenly became crystal clear that my body was a temple. It was my act of worship. The instrument through which I am to glorify and honor Him who gave me life, and saved it.
It was no longer my choice. It was my responsibility. It was my privilege. It was my beautiful vessel to honor Him with.
I think we can get so lost in our pride, our ego, our autonomy. I know I did. My body was mine to deprive nutrients. It was mine to kill with olympic caliber workouts on no sleep and no fuel. I could berate my mind and spirit with flagellating, critical thoughts, and isolate myself so that no one could tell me otherwise.
But in the end, a life of striving for autonomy led me to the brink of death, literally.
And I’m still paying the price for my choices.
As someone who lived the most radical, and most extreme manifestation of “My Body, My Choice,” I want to just leave you with one final thought.
We all have that fundamental human right over our bodies. That’s absolutely true – and as I found out – up to and including autonomous choices that lead to self-demise. For better or for worse, that is the prerogative of each and every person.
But that human right, is not actually what is coming under “attack” in these prolife legislations. Because that autonomous choice to self-destruct is our fundamental right, UNTIL it threatens the life of another person.
That’s why a person is free to drink alcohol to the point of passing out, and yet — if that same person gets behind the wheel of a car, it’s illegal. Why? Because all of a sudden, that choice threatens the life of another.
Which is exactly the case with abortion. Because those choices now involve another person. And now, it’s no longer a human right, but a civil right.
Sitting here today, I’m just so grateful that my family and loved ones were able to get through to me that my choices were not only killing me, but deeply hurting the ones I love most. And thank God it wasn’t too late.
In my recovery, I’ve vowed not only to never return to that way of life again, but that everyday, I will make the choice, to honor my body, and use it as the instrument of peace and hope God entrusted me with.
And to those saying that Men Shouldn’t Be Making Laws Against Women’s Bodies – I say, you’re right. And further, Women Shouldn’t Be Making Choices to Destroy Their Child’s Body.
**NEW: Stand in the gap and use your voice without saying a word with my new, “I am Prolife” tee. Available in a wide variety of colors for both men and women. **
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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354 responses to “My Body, My Choice”
That sign “Abortion is a human right.” gives me chills. And let me tell you, they sure ain’t happy chills.
I am right there with ya…chills. Thanks for reading! big hugs xox
Big hugs right back at ya, girl! 🙂
It just amazes me how everyone in Hollywood and the media nearly dies from sweat inhalation about restricting guns and taking guns from people and creating more and more gun laws, but they believe that it is right to kill a baby in the most brutal ways possible. 🙁 Go figure.
I know – go figure. It’s really quite sad and it’s a scary reality
Well said, Caralyn!
Thank you so much Roy!! I appreciate you stopping by. Have a great night. Hugs and love xox
Abortion isn’t natural unless it’s a miscarriage. Induced abortion is just plain wrong in my eyes.
Thanks for sharing your heart, Hilary. I’m right there with you. Hugs and love xox
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The “my body my choice” seems to be the last card the Pro-choice faction plays. The idea is that this trumps all pro-Life arguments. At the core is that it works only if it denies the personhood of the fetus and that fetus’s right to life. The courts have been avoiding this question since Roe v. Wade. And it is an awesome question to discern. No wonder the Supreme Court is reluctant to go there.
I completely agree, David. It all should down to WHEN life begins, because once personhood is established, then he or she has rights. Awesome question to discern indeed. Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love back to you.
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Amen! you said it perfectly, and I agree …coming from a women who was told , should of never been able to have kid’s because of my birth defect, I had two beautiful kids and family and doctor’s were amazed . I believe there is a God and he wanted me to bring them into this world and why should I have deprived him … The births were not easy especially my daughter who they thought I should end the pregnancies or do test that would possibly had that effect. and when I was so worried and in doubt my dad said to me do not do the test they dont know . this is a gift from god and you will be able to handle what way she comes and you will love her and thats what I did and she was just fine.
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Praise God that you were able to have kids!!! Amen to that – what a tale of victory 🙌🏼 Hugs and love xox
Thank you! I think of others who can’t ..so for I to have them breaks my heart but even more to take this life away is more heartbreaking.
I agree 💛💛💛💛
Hugs!!!
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Love it
Thank you so much Dominique! Hugs and love xox
This is beautifully thought out and written! When women talk about making choices about their body, they are making choices about another human being’s body! To support your point, I read in DNA; Pirates of the Sacred Spiral by Horowitz that women’s bodies shut off the rejection part of their physiology regarding the infant so that the baby survives. The immune system is “instructed” to leave the baby alone!
Different heart, distinct DNA…everything tells us that it is not part of the mother’s body!
Caralyn, I sure wish I could comfort you somehow over the difficulties you still face! All I can offer are my prayers, the fatherly love from “dad2,” and all the support I can give! Extra love and hugs tonight!!
Hey Jeff! Gosh thank you so much. What an interesting fact! I’d like to read that book. You’re so right – just because a car’s parked in the garage doesn’t make the car part of the garage. Thanks so much Dad2, for being a great encourager and friend!! I appreciate it so much!!! Hope you and Julie have a great great night 🙂 Hugs and love xox
The book is out of print but in high demand. It cost me roughly $60 for a used copy. Mint condition go for $100-200! I wrote a 23 part series on it starting June of 2017 – https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2017/06/22/pirates-of-the-sacred-spiral-part-1-2/ Less expensive than buying! It’s about how DNA research has been manipulated in the past for evil doings. The fact about mothers not rejecting their babes was used for a covert sterilization project in, I believe, the Philippines. Hence the title – Pirates of the Sacred Spiral. Written by a Christian.
OH WOW! Talk about a golden copy!! I can’t wait to check our your series. 23 parts! How awesome! I’ve better start reading! Haha Hugs and love xox
Great post! I appreciate your ability to speak truth from such a personal place. Keep being bold!
Hey Andy! Thank you so much 🙂 I appreciate your kind words and support, and for taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
Well said!
Thank you so much Beckie!! Hugs and love xox
Yes, yes, and yes. Beautifully written.
Thank you so much Amy!! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
Good stuff. I would love to post this on my website with your permission. I could create links back to website and anything else you would like to include. I think this would really foster some thinking with the followers of my stuff. Very thoughtful and wonderfully written. Thanks, Paul
Hey Paul, thank you so much. Absolutely – I would be honored if you passed this along!! I appreciate it! Have a great night! Hugs and love xox
Thanks, lots of substance in that post!
✨💛✨ I appreciate that.
One of the pro-abortion movement’s biggest bait and switch is “you’re free to choose!” But what the big lie is not the money they make from the fetus is that you’re free from the consequences of your action. No one is ever free from the consequences. You may suffer now, or later, but doesn’t matter. My friend, thanks for sharing about what happens to your body during an eating disorder and how you’re still healing several years later.
And thanks also for speaking the truth with so much love.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – every choice has a consequence. And you know, one of the really incredible services that prolife crisis pregnancy centers offer are counseling service for post abortive mothers. They need love and compassion and support. Because you’re right – it is such an emotion and difficult choice that sooner or later will catch up. Hugs and love xox
Very well said, again, Caralyn!!!
To bend thought on the word “choice” — there is a “choice” here but not after the event. Instead the choice is to refrain from an act that might conceive a child. -Jeff
Hi Jeff, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. I agree – that is the “choice” that people so quickly forget. Hugs and love xox
And also – one of my favorite prolife voices on this – I think it’s Steve crowder?? But he is prolife but he says he’s pro choice…4 choices…abstinence, adoption, contraception, motherhood. Makes a lot of sense. As a catholic, I personally do not follow that belief about contraceptive, but I understand and applaud this argument!! Hugs and love xox
Agree! Your body, your choice! But when you involve another human’s life, especially a defenseless one, the ‘choice’ involves a new responsibility.
Hi Dawn! Thank you so much for sharing your heart — and amen — there’s a responsibility there!! Glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
You may have missed the point. You have the right to be left on your own, or to seek help or to listen to advice, but that’s not something a government should decide for you. As to when a life begins, not the Bible or science has an answer so it’s left to religion and the law, not the best institutions to make these judgments I think. And it’s certainly not my place to remind you that men have entirely too much to say about what women ought and ought not to do or dictate choices.
Hi Steven, thanks so much for joining the dialogue about this. I agree that WHEN life begins is really the question here. And religion aside, we have to turn to science. So we have to look at…is it 6 inches of birth canal? Is it at a heart beat? Is it at conception? — because this one has a LOT of different factors, like a baby in one of the best hospitals in the country with all the fancy technology is viable *a lot* earlier than a baby born at a barebones community hospital. Or what about economic factors that effect viability? A family that has means to pay for those technologies vs one that doesn’t also effects viability. Which brings us to conception. Those are just some of my thoughts, I’d love to hear what you think. And in terms of men dictating my choices, the men in my life and community, and the laws I’ve grown up being privileged to in the USA — I have never had anything but support, empowerment and encouragement from men. I have been brought up knowing that a woman can do anything a man can do – if not better. I have been paid equally. I have been respected. I have been given a fair shot regardless of my sex. So I guess I just don’t quite see this oppressive society where men are dictating my choices. Again – I hope this isn’t coming off as disrespectful, because I’m not meaning it to at all, and I hate that tone doesn’t come across on a computer screen. Because I’m just having a dialogue!! 🙂 and I appreciate you sharing your heart and joining in. Hugs and love xox
Caralym, your voice is powerful! So thankful that you chose life and are still here, making a positive contribution. We don’t know the value of one life because it cannot be calculated. The babies deserve to live and to be. There has been much propaganda that makes human lives as having less value than a whale or some other bird or insect. You show how one can go from near death to vibrant life. Keep speaking! Love and hugs! XOXO
Gosh you’re mind to say that. Thank you so much for always encouraging me and giving me the empowerment to speak up!! I agree – the value is immeasurable!! Hugs and love xox
You are welcome! Never forget that you are valuable!!!
✨💛✨aww you just made my night. Thanks again xox
xoxo
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Powerfully written, Caralyn!
Thanks so much Broose! Hope you have an awesome night! Hugs and love xox
Very well done. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much friend! Hope you have a great night! Hugs and love xox
Absolutely. I hope you have a good night as well.
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[…] via My Body, My Choice — BeautyBeyondBones […]
Thanks so much for the link up! Hugs and love xox
This was an excellent post. I really lean heavily on my libertarian side on this issue, I dont think its a good idea to have the government intervene in the matter but rather have each persons conscious dictate their personal outcome. In my travels I have never found anyone who was pro choice that wasnt pro life, meaning those who argue for choice werent killers or hated babies but rather wanted the free will and the right to decide for themselves.
Hi Karac, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. You’re right – it is a deeply emotional issue, and I think at the end of the day, people are just trying to do what they think is right. Hugs and love xox
I think the way you told your story was beautifully done and very moving. “but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst.” I’m happy for you that you chose to drink the living water that He offered you.
Thank you so much Tom, I really appreciate your support – amen to that! His living water!! I am so grateful for His saving power. Hugs and love xox
I find your posts and esp your faith to be a tonic. Signed, an appreciative reader. xox
You are too kind. Thanks for making me smile. Xox
Great post. I just want to point out this. The same states pretending to want to save lives. And as Kay Ivey says , ” all life is precious, ” also signed the death warrant for an inmate that same night. I know baby,a killer. But once you say all life is precious you can’t go and agree to have someone executed. Another thing I want to point out is : if people are so pro life why do women hate to tell their boss that they are pregnant. They know they will not get the promotion. Women are treated differently at work in a bad way once they become pregnant. im just saying
Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this emotional issue. I think being prolife is a way of life that yes, needs to span the broadest definition. Hugs and love xox
Two things. 1. If you don’t like the laws in Alabama, don’t live there. If you don’t live there, you really don’t have a say in the laws the people pass. 2. If men have no right to tell women what to do with their bodies by passing legislation, you’re right. Maybe we ought to repeal Roe v Wade. A law that was passed by men to tell women what to do with their Bodies. Clearly, they had no right too pass it.
Oh, and a sex strike? Knock yourself out. Maybe if people did that more often, instead of using abortion as birth control, there wouldn’t be such an outcry. It’s really the first, and most responsible choice a person can make in the matter of preventing unwanted children.
I agree – I think it’s so right that Alyssa is advocating for abstinence. It’s like – YEAH! THAT’S BEEN THE SOLUTION ALL ALONG. haha Hugs and love xox
Well said Caralyn. So clear, authentic from the heart.
I just shared a post on fb, from the wife of a previous Pastor at our church. She was an “accident” in her Dad’s mind. But certainly not in her FATHER’S Plans.
Her Mom struggled through, raising her, and she is now a Mighty Woman Of God as well.
Thank you Caralyn, God Bless you as you continually serve Him, Glorifying Him, Praising Jesus, and speaking Truth.
Luv. 😀❤️🌹😘 Hugs
Thank you so much George 🙂 wow – what a powerful story. You’re so right – God has a plan for each and every one of His children and each is precious in His sight. I appreciate your support and encouragement, always. Hugs and love xox
Well done and well said 👏👏👏
Thank you so much!! 🙂 i appreciate you taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
By the way, women legislators voted for these bans, and a woman governor signed it into law. Hmmmm. I guess that there are women who choose to give people a chance at life as opposed to those who seek to end it with the exception of themselves. I say that we need more women… like you.
So true!! Thanks JB, that’s really kind of you to say! Hugs and love xox
You are very graciously welcome BBB. You are a great lady to be kind to, and you have a great and special heart. Hugs and love to YOU!!!
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Haha awesome
Yes YOU are.
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Aww.
I would really like to see a more broad definition of the pro-life movement before I can get behind this. It’s hard because I agree with what you are saying about the threshold of autonomy vs. threatening the life of another person, but I see so much of the energy focused on this particular issue and almost none (with the exception of a few activists) focused on things like addressing the death penalty, involvement in war, or the existing health disparities (like infant mortality rates) for kids who are currently alive.
TLDR I agree w you but I feel like I end up choosing between policies that largely support low-income families/good health outcomes (largely Democrat) or ones that largely support traditional pro-life stances (largely Republican) and no platform that supports both.
For example I think better child care and health care policies like inclusive family leave would help lower abortion rates. I think above you mentioned more funding for adoption and sex education – idk, that is never included in these types of bills. It seems easier to ban things than to really address the problem at all stages of life and for all types of people.
Hi Liz, thanks for sharing your heart on this emotional issue. I think there’s definitely something to the broad definition. And part of the awesome thing about prolife crisis pregnancy centers is that they offer so much support and resources to lower income families. Great ideas. Hugs and love xox
Yeah crisis pregnancy centers are helpful, I guess they don’t address the rest of the gap in care but they’re something. Although I think some are faith based and that could be a barrier to care.
I’ve worked most of my career in nonprofits/health care so I feel strongly about this. Idk there is a lot of stigma toward poor people, but also not a lot of resources out there in states passing these laws to help people be less poor.
Compassion for babies is understandable, but what about the people we want them to grow into? It just doesn’t make sense to me.
If we’re so convinced that life begins at a certain time, I guess it bothers me that our policy doesn’t reflect that it also continues a long time after that.
Not that you necessarily think this but I see a lot of ‘people just made bad choices and they deserve what they get’ sentiment when it comes to people using public services, without much empathy.
Thanks for all the work you’ve put in in your career. I can feel your passion! Thanks for sharing your heart
Amen! Another homerun from Caralyn! How are you doing at loving yourself these days?
Oh gosh thank you so much Steve, I appreciate that. Actually I think pretty good! Thanks for asking! Hugs and love xox
And I’m now in a dating relationship, so I’m loving myself enough to be bold and initiative!
Awesome!!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I spoke too soon
Amen, sister!!! I BLASTED a fiery post out on Facebook this past Friday night(it’s public, so you can take a look at it if you want to), because of exactly what’s going on, and a few other things that some near and dear to me, refuse to know God and adhere to what His Word says. I am so glad that you also wrote about this–it’s another confirmation to me, that the Holy Spirit is putting it into our hearts and minds to let the world know what GOD says in HIs Word, how we are to treat LIFE, and how precious it is! My pastor touched on the same things this Sunday, giving even more confirmation of how the Holy Spirit moves in us, and lets us know we have that “singleness of mind”, as we should. I’m blessed to read each one of your posts! Love you!!
Hey there Nett! Thanks so much for sharing that. Yes!! It is SO precious. Looking forward to reading your post! Hugs and love xox
Thank you so much for this. I couldn’t agree more. The blindness in this world, the lengths people will go to to defend evil, so sad. Keep shining the light.
Thanks so much Adrienne!! I really appreciate your support. So glad this resonated with you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
I’ve contemplated over the rights and wrongs of abortion quite a lot. I used to believe that it is a firm no-no because at the end of the day, no matter how much we try to mask the facts, it is a form of killing. Despite my inclination towards banning of abortion still persists, I am gradually thinking that perhaps the people at the top and the people of society should look into reconsidering allowing abortion from extreme cases of unwanted abortion, on a strict case by case basis. Cases such as r**e and i****t definitely deserves a ponder by the judges, don’t they? Obviously, appeals for abortion due to pregnancy from blatant promiscuous demeanours should have almost zero chances of success.
I am touched by your personal experience of anorexia. Glad to see that you are using your huge following well to spread your educational messages. Keep touching lives.
Thanks so much for sharing your heart, Jo. Yeah it is a deeply emotional issue, and I think deep down everyone is trying their best to do what is right and what they think the best thing to do is. And I agree – it is a form of killing. So the question then becomes, what to do about that. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
Spot on! Once there’s a baby in the womb, there are two bodies involved and one does not have the right to kill the other.
I like the drink-driving analogy too: I have the right to drink and the right to drive, but not to maim or kill another by doing so.
Hi Stephen, thank you so much – I completely agree – two bodies!! Thanks so much for your support and for your son sister encouragement. Means a lot! Hugs and love xox
It is so good to hear a woman speak out for the lives of babies and their fathers.
Yes fathers…men, Real men want children.
Sex has been perverted, the act of creation is sacred as well as a bonding activity with your sweetheart.
I have, in 59 years only exercised that right with the three women I was married to.
None of them respected the gift.
Be fearless sister, the world needs to see and hear from a real woman with values.
May God keep and bless you always.
Namaste
Thank you so much friend for sharing your heart and your story. I agree – it is definitely s gift to be respected, and I’m sorry your ex wives didn’t respect that. Hugs and love xox
Really great post. Very thought provoking and convicting.
—Jack
Hi Jack, thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you stopping by. Hugs and love xox
I think I am pro-life with the three exceptions – rape, incest and protecting the life of the mother. I think the right to life trumps the right to choice. My problem is when life (not the soul) begins. Roe vs Wade is a compromise I can live with. What I can’t agree with is abortion on demand or using abortion as a birth control method. It also sickens me when some women abort female babies because their culture prizes male babies and demands a male heir. Does this make me Pro Life? While the fetus at six weeks has no EEG and is legally dead and the Bible tells us that it is only at first breath that God sends the soul (Both old and New Testament) I can’t accept that means a fetus in the third semester may be aborted; if the fetus is viable then it is murder to abort it. Every religion on earth says “Thou shalt not kill.”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I agree – thou shalt not kill is definitely the baseline. I am unfamiliar with the passage you’re referring to, but I always rely on the passage from psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” And I agree – culturally driven abortion based on the sex of the baby is just so incredibly sad. We see that also with babies with Down syndrome, they are being aborted at alarming rates. It just makes me want to cry. Hugs and love xox
Thank you for your comment on my comment. Here are two passages that address God breathing life into us outside the womb.
“And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Genesis 2:3 KJV – why Jews believe man receives his soul at his first breath.
and
“And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost.” John 20:32 – just like God breathed life into man in Genesis 2:7, so Jesus breathed eternal life into man there in John 20:32.The use of the verb ejnefuvshsen to describe the action of Jesus here recalls Gen 2:3: This time, however, it is Jesus who is breathing the breath/Spirit of eternal life, life from above, into his disciples.
I have a newpher with Down’s syndrome who is near 50 now and the whole family is blessed by his life among us.
Peace and love
Oh awesome, thank you for sharing those passages! And wow – that is truly wonderful. All life is precious and matters and yes! He enriches your lives! Hugs and love xox
You write so beautifully about your disease and recovery. Truly insightful and inspiring. As you must have witnessed on your journey there are many roads to recovery and reinvention and not all of them lead to Jesus or Christianity or any particular religion. I am glad for you that faith helped you find yourself. I always feel like the minority here stirring the pot but so be it. I find it hard to compare your disease of an eating disorder with a woman’s right to choose. I think a choice of having a child or not is eons away from a disease like addiction, eating disorder etc. I am so very glad for you that you have been lucky enough to have lived your entire life non-marginalized. You may be in the .001% of women in this country and the world to have that experience. Or perhaps you haven’t recognized it happening…..Sometimes in trying to draw connections we alienate. Like when people would tell me that “they understood how I felt” after my brother and mother died because “their dog had died”. Totally different unrelated situations. See what I am implying. Peace, love and kindness even when the choices don’t match my own- right?
Hi friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts. First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. That is so hard, and I’m really sorry that you’ve had to walk that road. And secondly, my intention with this post was not to alienate. Nor was it to compare having a child with anorexia. But rather, to highlight another perspective on “bodily autonomy” that is the cornerstone of the pro abortion position. Lastly, I do appreciate that there are other ways to recover – for me personally I couldn’t have done it without a faith. Even alcoholics anonymous – a secular org – recognizes first and foremost as one of their “12 steps” is to recognize that there is a divine power greater than oneself. So another path – not necessarily having to be a Christian path, but it is one way to find recovery. 🙂 and thank you for offering these perspectives! I love dialogue, and I respect everyone’s opinions! So glad you stopped by, and also – I’m so sorry that people have said that to you about losing their pet. That is just so insensitive, and though I’m sure they were well meaning, I can’t imagine the hurt that must have caused you and I’m just really sorry for that and wish I could give you a hug 🙂 xox
Now that you have explained further I see your perspective. Thank you, yes I understand people are well intentioned and grief is usually very difficult for most to discuss. Hugs to you too! 🙂
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I, for some reason am just seeing this so clearly. Yes, have all the sex you want and do what you choose to do with your body, but once that body houses another, aren’t we to protect those children by law? Clearly. I’m glad to read your blog. I am really happy for you and your recovery and being so tight knit with God and your faith and the word. It’s good you are so strong with Him at such a young age. Keep at it. What the devil meant for harm, God is truly using for your good, and the good of many others! Like your stories. Thank you for sharing you. I can relate. 🙂 Holly
Hi Holly, gosh thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Amen! I think God allows us to go through things so that we can help others 💛 (or at least try to!!) 🙂 I fully agree! Big hugs to you friend xox
Love this! Very well said ❤️
Oh gosh thank you so much!!! Hugs and love xox
[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/05/20/my-body-my-choice/ […]
Thanks so much Tonya for the link up! Hugs and love xox
What a fantastic, true post!!! Love your perspective and reasoning. Great on point! Hugs!!! As always, I love you, beautiful woman of God!xo😄❤
Hi Tonya! Gosh thank you so much for your support 🙂 it was a tough weekend to be a prolifer! Gotta stay strong! Love ya friend! Big hugs to you xox
You are such a treasure!😄❤
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Well said, Carolyn.
Thank you so much Tony. Hugs and love xox
You and I are here because our mothers valued our life more than their own body. And neither felt ashamed of what they sacrificed.
Amen to that Rollie! AMEN TO THAT!! Hugs and love xox
I absolutely agree with everything you said. Even if you don’t believe in God and don’t see your body as a gift from God that you have a responsibility to care for, as soon as a woman’s egg is fertilized and begins to grow, it is no longer a part of their body. It is a separate life. You can look at the genetic makeup of every cell of the mother’s body and it would be obvious that this embryo is NOT a part of her body. I don’t want to tell women what to do with their own body. If they want to cut off their hand or poke out their eye, I would do my best to talk them out of it, but it’s their body, their choice. But this is an entirely different situation. An embryo relies on the mother’s body to grow and develop, but it is not a part of her body.
Hi Don! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! I totally agree – it is a separate life. Separate brain, body, DNA, heart beat, whole nine yards. That is so so exceptionally put. Thanks for this awesome response. Hugs and love xox
I love your courage, wisdom, and heart. Thanks for sharing <3
Oh gosh thank you so much for your kind words. It seriously means the world. Hope you have a great night. Hugs and love xox
Xoxo 🌻
Thanks TS 🙂 ✨💛✨
You’re welcome. 💙
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Thank you for sharing this perspective. I just wish I wasn’t surrounded by people who consider abortion a fundamental right and keep going on and on about how we just want to control women.
Thank you so much. I feel you there. It’s not about control! It’s about life! So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
I recently read a blog by a woman who grew up with a mother who tried to kill herself and her children. She sat her daughter down one day and said “I’m going to kill all of us because I brought you into this world so I can take you out”. This lady became prolife because of this experience. This is the same kind of thinking as “My body, my choice”. It’s not really. These people don’t realize that what is growing inside of them is another life. Doctors define life as saying when the heart beats, but they don’t count it when it is six weeks along inside the womb. Doctors fight to save the life of a baby born four months early but provide abortions past that date. It’s illogical. Doctors write books about science talking about the natural birth process, that it’s normal and healthy for a baby to develop inside the woman’s uterus, but they use the excuse of “Well, the baby can’t survive outside of the womb” so it’s not a person yet or something like that. It’s not supposed to survive outside the womb until it is 40 weeks along, not 20! But that doesn’t mean it’s not alive. It’s exactly where it is supposed to be. All the science points to that growing ball of cells will turn into a human being if allowed to continue. It’s not going to be a frog or something, but just because it’s tiny, it’s not supposed to count. God counts it. He alone created it and He alone is supposed to take it at its appointed time. If anyone else takes it, it is murder. And something else to consider, there is a Bible verse where God tells the people, “You keep alive what shouldn’t be and you murder what shouldn’t be” and he judged them for it. This certainly applies to the birth process. Some people go to the doctor and have their doctor give them hormones and such to keep the pregnancy going when naturally it would have miscarried and they have abortions for the babies that were supposed to be born. We’ve royally messed everything up!
I get tired of hearing about women’s right. Real women, at least 99% of them, are born to be MOTHERS and to PROTECT the life growing inside of them. These “women” destroy this beautiful part of themselves. Also, we need to be reminded that the main purpose of sexuality is to have babies! That’ the whole purpose. If all we started having abortions, we’d all die out after this generation.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I loved this post. It’s very beautifully and eloquently written unlike my comment. LOL
Thank you so much for this powerful response. Oh friend, I feel you there. That is SO true about the main purpose of sexuality. With the introduction of the pill and the sexual revolution, it completely separated that purpose from the act, and commoditized sex. That’s a can of worms I would love to open in a different post. Hugs and love xox
I watched a video of the testimony of Natalie Grant a Christian singer. She struggled with bulimia and fertility issue. I thought you might like it.
https://youtu.be/TxKxf3Xk8tg
Wow what a testimony. Thanks for sharing that! Hugs and love xox
Glad to share it my little sister. Hope it encourages you. I am so blessed by your testimony. 🙂
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This is just beautiful!
Oh gosh thank you so much Laura, I appreciate that. Hugs and love xox
This was a really beautiful, life-giving, and meaningful post. You are seriously hands down the most inspiring and relatable blogger I have come across. I really enjoy your posts and your vulnerability. Thank you for being so openly God-fearing!
Thank you so much TeresaLee, I’m so glad this resonated with you!! 🙂 and oh my gosh – you absolutely just made my day. What an incredibly kind thing to say 🙂 means a lot. Hugs and love xox
Thanks for being so vulnerable! These words are so needed right now and I know they touched my heart tonight ❤️
Thanks so much Sadie! I’m so glad this resonated with you 🙂 so glad you stopped by! big hugs xox
I am not sure if I am going to post on my own blog about this, since I lost a friend after Prop 8 in California…the Gay Marriage issue. Being the eldest living with a rare metabolic disorder, I am thankful my mother didn’t choose Abortion. My sister passed away a few month’s after birth and then I had the same symptoms. My parents fought for me to survive and I am still here.. although they’re not.
Oh gosh, you have a powerful story. Thank you for sharing it. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I am inspired by you. Sending big big hugs xox
Thank you.
xoxo <3
When you wrote this “…I think we can get so lost in our pride, our ego, our autonomy. ..”
You’re hitting the nail on the head, their chants and rants are about self and no other.
They’re incapable of viewing it from your perspective because of their own selfishness, basically sin in a nutshell.
God Bless.
Thanks so much friend. I have been in that headspace for sure, and that’s what it was. Hugs and love xox
well said
Thank you so much 🙂 Hugs and love xox
back at cha’ lol
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Excellent 👌🏼
Thank you so much Tamara! Hugs and love xox
Oh my days, you have said it all! And the last analogy and drunk driving just hit the nail home! Thank you for this deeply insightful piece. 🙌
Oh gosh thank you so much 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Well said! You made an excellent point about being allowed to drink to you pass out, but when you get behind the wheel you are endangering the lives of others, much like choosing to kill the baby inside your body.
Thank you so much Jennifer! So glad this resonated with you! Yeah, I think when we take away the super emotional aspect of it (involving a child) and look objectively at the situation, it’s easier to see the truth of the matter. So glad you stopped by 🙂 big big hugs xox
Great Post. Big Hugs
Thank you so much friend xox
Once again, a great, thought-provoking post. I’ve been struck by something that Abby Johnson posted on her FB today. She reached out to those who feel unwanted or disposable because of the current and heated rhetoric of the abortion debate. She address “foster children, adopted children, abortion survivors, people who are differently-abled, people who have conceived a child in rape, those who are conceived in rape”, etc. These are real people … real humans … not simply invisible decisions. My husband and his brother were adopted. I know two women who were the results of violent rapes. Several close friends are raising children with Downs Syndrome and other physical or mental health challenges. Several friends and family are fostering children … some of the situations leading to adoption. My heart hurts that in the screaming for rights, these precious souls are labelled “less than,” undeserving of life because they have inconvenienced those shouting, “My body, my rights.” Think of the guilt we are placing on people because they are alive while millions with the same circumstances are dead … never given a chance. This guilt is a real thing … I’ve watched love ones struggle with always feeling unworthy and with deep depression because of the stigma that “choice” has put in their lives.
Hi friend! Oh gosh thank you so much for sharing your heart. I haven’t seen that post but I will definitely check it out!! it’s SO TRUE! All this talk is communicating “less than” which is SO AWFUL. you hit the nail on the head – they are precious souls that are wanted and worthy of life just like every other person in the world. Breaks me heart. Extra prayers for them. Hugs and love xox
God. Love. Life … so very precious …
Amen to that! Thanks so much. Hugs and love xox
Pleasure 🤗
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I endorse your views on this issue and as always, your insight is spot-on. Very well written. God bless you for standing up for the rights of the unborn. I am horrified at the mindset that women’s’ rights over their bodies preempts aborted baby girls’ rights to be born, grow to womanhood, and claim rights over their future bodies that was taken away in the womb by today’s women? Terrible sentence structure, but a conundrum nonetheless.
Hi Sherron, thank you so much for your support. It truly means the world. I fully agree!! A conundrum indeed. Hugs and love xox
Your story inspires me every time you tell it. It isn’t just about actual hurting your body that kills but how you treat it on the long or short run and it is funny how people believe that hurting a physical human being is murder and hurting a growing being isn’t. Selfish is what they are. Thank you for the write up. No one called themselves to existence so why take the life of an existence you didn’t create??? God bless you!!
Oh my gosh thank you so much. You’re so right – we do not have the right to extinguish a life, no matter how small. Hugs and love xox
Well written Caralyn, however I feel that you should have endorsed the movie, “Unplanned” in there as well – sort of encouraging women who’s views are pro-abortion, to first watch that movie before picketing, etc.
There are so many “what if” cases and scenarios that are being thrown around at the moment – Rape, child abuse, etc. Considering the lives of the victims of such crimes, I would certainly be pro-abortion. However when I consider the majority number of those who are just using the system for a quick fix to a mistake…. Also the considering that a life is a life.. I’m pro-life.. I will always be.
It saddens me that people will get all up in arms over the gun violence and claim that every life is precious; yet, they are willing to deny the same rights to an innocent child in the womb.
These are the same people that say we can’t neuter rapists because that would be a violation of human rights, yet killing an infant isn’t.
They say because the fetus is deformed, it can’t be called a human being. I’m sorry, by that logic anyone born deformed can’t be called a human being either. #JustSaying
The world is so full of double standards and it has come to a point where the world is not paving the way for the next generation to be a bunch of soulless, brain-dead, robots; who’s only mission in life is themselves. And anyone who actually is God-fearing and has a heart, is demonized.
Thank you so much for this response. Yes, in hindsight I do wish I would have mentioned Unplanned. As you recall, I have endorsed them in probably 6 or 7 of my most recent posts. It just slipped my mind this time. But you’re correct it is SUCH a powerful and important film that everyone should see. Powerful points my friend. Powerful points. Hugs and love xox
I also find it very interesting that women, even celebrities, make so many comments about their rights, having to endure sexual discrimination, etc.. yet, will go to a club and dance to music and hip-hop songs with lyrics making sexually derogatory comments about the women in their lives.. Those artists refer to their girlfriends as “My B****” or “that W****”…
And no one says anything? Why?
Double standards… 🙁
Yeah that’s a great point. The misogyny is pretty disgusting in the lyrics
Glad to see you speaking on this
Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to read it!! Hugs and love xox
You’re welcome!
🙂 xoxoxoxoox
=)
I’m with you up to the abortion issue, I firmly believe a woman has the Right to terminate her pregnancy.
Thank you for sharing your position, and taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
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xox 🙂
BBB, yet again, your clarity of mind (and soul) bubble up to the surface to get to the core of an issue, clear away the distractions and expose Inner Truth (and wisdom). This life you see, was never about us… It is about Jesus Christ as we are living through Him. God bless you.
Thanks so much MW – you’re so right about that. We are on His mission. Not about us. Hugs and love xox
I SO love this! You go, girl!
Oh my gosh thank you so much Mike!! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
Hello beautiful sis, this one of your most strongly written, eloquent and passionate post of yours I have ever read. And filled with so much wisdom and unique point of view in light of your own experience. We humans are very limited in our wisdom and that is why we need others to check and balance us. This is why no one person is meant to rule a country alone, cuz one person isn’t always right. We cannot have sole say in how we live our lives because of our ego, pride, limited wisdom and biased viewpoints. Even the Bible says that in the multitude of counselors there is safety. A baby growing inside of us is NOT our body. God gave the baby to us as a gift no matter the tragic or regretful circumstances the child was brought into the world. May God have mercy on us justifying murder of innocent little lives. Who are we to decide that a human doesn’t get to live out their destiny?
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! You’re so right about that – life is a gift bestowed upon us. Who are we indeed. Hugs and love xox
Gun laws and the death penalty means Alabama isn’t a pro life state. I don’t think this is about being pro life, I think it’s anti-woman. The law is unmoveable in any case even rape and incest, the victim forgotten.
Most women don’t go having abortions lightly. It’s an agonising decision for most. I think the “do the deed and live with the consequences” rhetoric is too blasé. Who will provide healthcare, education, not to mention Day to day expenses for these children? Contraception fails. Not everyone uses contraception but if they’re raped then they have to live with that and potentially have a baby too? You can’t ban abortions, you’ll drive it back underground and women will die.
Thank you for sharing your position on this deeply emotional issue. I do agree that there are a lot of needs that society should address, but I don’t think the answer to those structural issues is to kill the children. I do appreciate you stopping by and joining the dialogue on this difficult issue. I respect your views and I hear you! Hugs and love xox
You’re an inspiration! I agree with your views all the time politically. Not to mention, your writing has power in the fact you’ve been through hard times, which you overcame through blood, sweat, and tears.
Oh my gosh thank you so much for this wonderful note of encouragement. It really means a lot. That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger! 🙂 big big hugs xox
Beautifully expressed!
thank you so much Monteelou. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
big hugs to you xox
Ahhhhhh! First – awesome post! Second – WE WANT TO REACH THROUGH THE COMPUTER AND HUG YOU! We started https://marriedstrong.com/ because we hurt when others are hurting and we want to help couples who are going through pain in their marriage. God has surely blessed you and is taking good care of you now. ALL LIFE is an amazing blessing. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much!!! Oh my gosh I am so touched by your kind words. And what an awesome ministry!! Cheering for you! Hugs and love xox
Bravo, Caralyn! Well said!!
Thank you so much Heather!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read it!! Hugs and love xox
Straight from the heart! Beautifully written. My the LORD continue to bless you and your ministry of helping others heal from their personal pain. Thank you for sharing.
Aw thank you so much Debra!! That really means a lot. And same to you dear friend! Hugs and love xox
Well said (“written”)!
Thank you for sharing your story. Keep up the good work.
God bless
Thank you so much Sandy! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
Bravo! I know several women who (while in our teens) chose abortion, and to this day (35 years later) still grieve that loss. Keep speaking out. And keep exposing social media for blocking and banning you. You’re speaking truth and they hate that.
Thank you so much Lisa, for sharing that. I’m so sorry to hear that those women are having to deal with that grief. That’s one thing I think is so important — offering support, compassion, and resources to post-abortive women, because it does take a large toll on their heart. THey need love! Thanks for your encouraging words. big hgus xo
Thank you for posting/talking about this!
I’ve been seeing a lot about this issue on social media lately, especially on Facebook. And I’ve been seeing people on either side of the spectrum: either incredibly against abortion and related issues or incredibly for the “my body, my choice” argument.
I think it’s great that you’ve put up a post where you give a “compromise” of sorts. Kind of like you said, we do have control over our bodies, but when our choices affect the lives of others, that’s when it isn’t so simple.
Thank you.
– Victoria
Hi Victoria, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. You’re so right – when our choices impact the lives of others, we have to reexamine what’s going on. Big hugs to you xox
Best of your posts I’ve read so far. Truth is truth even if it slaps you in the face. But people will still reject truth even if they were paid to keep it. If the Bible hadn’t given us heads-up I would have been deeply worried, but nothing surprises me anymore. We will keep speaking for truth. Well done, sis.
Hi friend! Oh gosh, thank you so much 🙂 “Truth is truth even if it slaps you in the face -” WOW! I’ve never heard that one before but dang is that one of the most accurate things I’ve ever heard. I really appreciate your support! big hugs xox
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“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.”
PSALMS 139:13-16 NASB
https://www.bible.com/100/psa.139.13-16.nasb
Yes!!! This is my ABSOLUTE favorite verse that shows the tender love that Father has for us, especially as He was forming us in the womb. If this isn’t the most crystal clear evidence, then I don’t know what is! hugs xo
This only gives hope for the lives of the children that were aborted – the abortion victims, the unwanted. God knows all, sees all, hears all… Therefore he foreknew what was going to happen. And so you can be sure God has made provisions for them…
You can talk about the most famous unwanted child in the bible – Ismail. Ismail was not in the plan of God at all. His birth was the result of planning outside of God’s will. Perhaps if it didn’t happen, there would not be any issues in the middle east at all. Did God know that it would happen? Yup and God already made plans for him; in keeping with the covenant he made with Abraham.
Where the souls of the aborted children are, will be a mystery. I have my own theories about that. But I shall keep them to myself.
Having had an abortion myself, this topic is very dear to my heart. In addition to everything you said, the emotional guilt that comes with it is heavy. I don’t honestly think legislation alone will solve this problem. I think community support for people who are vulnerable, and for the children when they are born will help a great deal.
Hi Efua, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you’ve been carrying that heavy emotion, and I pray that you’ve got a strong support system around you. Because you’re absolutely right – community support is so important. That’s one of the beautiful things about prolife crisis pregnancy centers – is that they offer those resources and support before, during AND AFTER the pregnancy. They help the mothers with all the resources and clothes, and diapers. They help the mothers get jobs, and find child care. They help them get child support, depending on their circumstance. Or they walk them through the adoption process. They also offer women who have had abortions the counselling and therapy they need. Friend, I cannot imagine the difficult road that was to walk for you, and my heart is with you as you heal from that. I just want you to know that I love you, I am praying for you, and that if you ever need to talk, I am here and would be honored to listen to your story. Sending so much love. xox
Thank you so much for your kind words. Praise God for his forgiveness as such I am no longer held bound by that condemnation😊. Good to know about the support existing in the USA. I haven’t heard of same in the UK. Counselling not just for those who are considering it but also for those who have gone through it is very important. I think we need to do more here in the UK. Thanks again sis❤️
Amen! Praise God for His forgiveness!! He has made all of us a new creation and has wiped us clean!! I definitely am personally grateful for that truth!! I hope the UK can shape up. Who knows – maybe this is your calling? Maybe you should start something or set into motion what’s missing? Just a thought 🙂 I personally think you’d be awesome at it 🙂 xox
I have thinking about it sis. I would love to soon. Thank again for your sweet words😊❤️
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Hi Caralyn. I must agree with you. After three miscarriages, the thought of an abortion makes me sick. I lost three babies that I very much planned and wanted. I simply cannot fathom that someone would ever end a pregnancy by choice.
A little unrelated – I have a tough time wrapping my head around my losses as “part of God’s plan.” How do you stay so positive, and keep your trust in God when it seems impossible? Appreciate your advice.
Your fellow Cincinnatian,
Amanda
MeetThePetes.com
Hi Amanda, oh gosh, i am just so sorry for your loss. my heart is absolutely with you and breaks to think that you’ve had to walk such a painful and difficult road. And know that I am praying for you. That is really such a tough question – because it is unfathomable to try to understand loss as part of God’s plan. And my unqualified answer, is: I don’t know. I don’t know why God allows loss to happen. Do I think that He *causes* those things to happen? No. But I do think that He can redeem our suffering, and somehow use it for good. Like helping other people who are walking similar roads. Or offering you a unique perspective that one can only get through enduring such grief, that one day you will be able to use for a divine purpose. I just don’t know. But what I DO know, is that you have three beautiful children waiting for you in Heaven that cannot wait to meet and hug you and spend eternity with you. I cannot imagine the pain you carry in your heart daily, and the heaviness that is to carry, but just know that I love you. I am praying for you. And you are such a strong and inspiring woman, Amanda. Hugs and love xox caralyn
For those who believe “My Body My Choice”. Would you have the body living inside you be the victim of your choice. Of course, there are no abortions living today. Of sorry, It is all about me. Live your life and stand your ground. You are loved and blessed.
Thanks friend. Yeah, the victims are voiceless, which is precisely why we need to stand in the gap for them and be their voice!! Hugs and love xox
Ah, the Cultural Revolution in a world of media and social media that looks up to celebrities. Something disturbing are studies showing in China that not only are seniors committing suicide, but this is becoming normalized and an almost expected or honorable way to go. In China, senior suicide rates have risen 500 percent over the past 20 years, as 590 women a day kill themselves. In China, the countryside see three times more women kill themselves as men. Many more attempt suicide. As the concept of motherhood…. as identity is taken away. Is this a direct result of the Chinese government’s one-child, and now two-child, policy? Ah, the Cultural Revolution, when the Spirit of a land is always fought over. It would never happen here.
Oh my gosh that is just so heartbreaking. Gosh so incredibly sad. We’ve got to pray for China. Hugs and love xox
C, you really make me think … touch me, make me feel, and make me think. My view:
If it’s an obligation, then you don’t have a choice. I’m not sure God wants that for us. He gives us innumerable choices. The part of us that chooses is the central part of us, it was from the beginning.
Of course, every choice has a result. If a person has a choice (and they probably do) then they have to own their choice.
Everyone is after autonomy, the power and authority. It seems to me a lot more good comes when we just take more responsibility instead. It’s often offered, rarely taken. – Tony
Thanks Tony for sharing your thoughts on this deeply emotional issue. Lots of food for thought here. Hugs and love xox
I absolutely love everything about this post. What some don’t understand that when they make the argument of “my body, my choice”, is that no one is taking away the freedom to do whatever you want with your individual body- get tattoos, get piercings, whatever floats your boat, it’s about protecting a life that is a completely different body/individual. And I find the “men shouldn’t be making laws about women’s bodies” laughable bc a woman introduced the bill and a woman signed it into law. And what is so bad about men standing up for what’s right? When it comes to creating life, it takes 2 to tango, so I believe men should voice their stance without always being demonized with the “no uterus, no opinion” talk. It doesn’t matter if it is a man or a woman that is pro-life, however, bc you will get criticized regardless, which is sad and backwards. I 100% agree with everything you said and I am thankful there are so many out there standing up for life.❤️❤️❤️ it makes me want to be more vocal about my pro-life stance myself. It pains me to see the arguments and views of the contrary, but I know in the end life and love will always win. Even when the most vocal/popular views seem overpowering.❤️
Hi Brooke, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. I completely agree – a completely different individual is impacted. Hugs and love xox
Compelling argument. As a vegetarian, I have respect for life – human and animal. It hurts me to see animals killed for meat, and especially suffering in factory farms. I have come to accept that not everyone can be a vegetarian – some have even health issues that prevent them from being one. It is a tough truth to accept, nonetheless. Baby cows die to make veal – a sentient animal mother bears a child only for it to be plucked from her immediately and culled. I have to live in a world that does this type of unspeakable cruelty.
That said, I have accepted that meat eating is a gray area. That there are people who cannot live without meat – the whole herbivore carnivore argument. I now try to tell myself this: “avoidable cruelty can be avoided”. I hope that even meat eaters would oppose factory farming where animals do not have a life whatsoever and are treated as meat. I hope that beauty products would be cruelty-free and rabbit eyes are not sprayed with shampoo to test that product.
My stance on abortion is similar. Avoidable cruelty needs to be avoided. I dislike the thought of abortion. I have also read compelling accounts from rape survivors who were pushed into years of depression – which would have been worse had they been forced to keep the baby that was conceived from that rape. I have read about a 11 year old getting pregnant and nearly dying having that child. I have read about someone being abused as a child, getting pregnant and a merciful person helping them end that pregnancy caused by a pervert. I have also read about people who are not ready to be mothers having children, abusing them, neglecting them and totally messing up their lives – including these children being abused by the partners of these irresponsible women.
So to me abortion is a gray area. A child that is born needs to be wanted, and cherished. Every child deserves to be protected and cared for. Bringing a child into a cruel situation where he/she is unwanted and could be abused or neglected, or whose mother may die trying to have the child is not something that child deserves.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this deeply emotional issue. I am vegan so I definitely get where you’re coming from when discussing meat! I respect your position. I would just like to offer this thought – there is a list miles long of loving couples who cannot conceive who would give anything to adopt a child. Just something to think about. Thanks again for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
It isn’t often that a confession is good for the soul of someone other than the confessor. This is that rare case. Thank you for sharing, and for bringing a new light to this dark issue.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
This is a very brave and vulnerable post. It takes courage to take a strong stance against abortion right now. I couldn’t agree more. I do not understand the logic behind the argument “My body, my choice.” Once someone conceives life, that baby has its own body. Why doesn’t it get a choice? That person made a choice to have unprotected sex. They made that decision with their body, and now they don’t want to deal with the consequences. It’s a childish and entitled argument.
Thank you so much for your support and for taking the time to read. I agree – the baby has its own separate body, and should be protected under the law. Hugs and love xox
Omg ahah, thank you for always sharing your faith. Thank you for being so bold and brave as always. I feel the passion while reading. You always make me think. I hope we as Christians and honestly just human beings can rise up and start to value life again instead of banning against life 💛 xoxo
Thank you so much Laura!! So glad this resonated with you. I pray that this nation – and world – starts to value life again too!! Hugs and love xox
So glad you made it through. Your post actually struck a chord with me. I have been feeling really ill for some time but I too had decided it was”my body, my choice” and had been neglecting my own health needs, as I have tried to get my youngsters through everything. I realised today that my behaviour has in fact not been too dissimilar to your own, albeit for totally different reasons.
My choice to struggle on, had been impacting everything and everybody. I do not know where this particular journey will end but this post was a timely reminder that our body is indeed God’s temple.
Thank you so much, I’m so glad it resonated with you. And I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling ill!! I hope you can start feeling better soon. You’re right – it’s a temple 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story.
Thanks so much Charmy! Hugs and love xox
This post is so spot on! Thanks for sharing your vulnerable journey and your heart as well. Way to speak His truth!
Oh gosh thank you so much! So glad it resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
[…] that abortion is only about a woman’s body. I read a compelling blog by BeautyBeyond Bones here that turns the phrase “my body, my choice” on its head. The blog makes a lot of […]
Thank you so much for the linkup! Hugs and love xox
Thanks for writing such a beautiful blog. I have my own take on the topic here: https://thefreespirited1.wordpress.com/2019/05/22/the-color-gray/
Thanks so much! Oh awesome – I look forward to reading your article! Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox
It’s more the fact that making abortion illegal doesn’t actually make it stop, women’s lives are in danger now and back street abortions will be on the up.. many women and girls will die. You don’t have to believe in abortion to be pro-choice, that’s what many people get confused about. Pro-Choice is giving women a safe space to have access to safe and professional terminations (whether that be accidental pregnancy, the baby has a sever health defect and the child will not live outside the womb, a miscarriage that has gone wrong and a termination is needed so the mother doesn’t die because of it), pro-choice is thinking “I don’t know how I feel about abortion but it’s your life and I will support you anyway”.
The new laws in Alabama are going to hinder women and it’s even sadder that a fellow woman signed the bill.
Hi Carly, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and heart on this deeply emotional issue. I appreciate you joining the dialogue and sharing your definition of pro choice. It’s definitely a tough issue, and I respect your views. And I would like to just add that for my prolife position, it isn’t, I want to control women’s bodies, but rather, I want to give rights to all persons, including the person in the womb. Those specific instances you cited – are all tragic and difficult and I have so much love and compassion for those women facing those situations – but I personally believe that ending the life of the child in the womb does not solve any of them. Adoption is an option – there’s a line miles long of incredible couples who desperate WANT to adopt those babies — I know several that have been on that waiting list for literally years. And with the severe health defects, chance of not living outside the womb, mother’s life — there will be no difference in the outcome of the mother if you induce labor to have the child or if you first insert a needle into the child filled with poison and then induce the same labor. I love and support those women faced with those unthinkably difficult situations. And that’s why I support prolife crisis pregnancy centers – because they offer support, resources, and care to those women before, during, and AFTER the pregnancy. They help women with health care, they get them all the necessary prenatal “stuff” and diapers and phone plans. Maternity clothes, baby clothes. We’ve even helped buy a minivan for one mother. They help set up adoptions. They help afterwards setting the woman up with a job, or finish her degree or get the child support she needs. They even offer post-abortive counseling to those women who come in after having had an abortion. That is how I support those women facing those incredibly difficult situations. Again, thank you for joining the conversation and sharing your heart. I’ve enjoyed our dialogue! Sending big hugs and love xox
As always, well said.
Thanks so much Paul. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Well done AND well said! I agree fully.
Thanks so much Joseph! So glad it resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
Very well said!
Thank you so much Galen 🙂 I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox
One of your best written posts Caralyn. May it change the hearts and minds who need it most.
Thank you so much Dawn. That is my prayer for writing it! 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by, and taking the time to read. big big hugs xo
Great text! Can I share it?
absolutely! thank you Dayane! xox
Although we have some fundamental differences in opinion and faith/belief, I applaud your non-confrontational approach to expressing your side. And it is a well written argument.
Thank you so much Michael 🙂 I appreciate that. I think respectful and open-hearted dialogue is what the country needs now more than ever. Hugs and love xox
Back at ya! Not sure how the idea that we all need to agree to get along took root, but if we all (gently) push back against it, hopefully we can make a difference 😄
I think you’re so right – and we need to make a difference!! 🙂
Awesome to here about your switching in beliefs about this particular issue. If only we could convince everyone how destructive abortions are. Great read!
Thanks so much Dylan!! Amen to that. I appreciate you taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
Insightful. Thank you for sharing graciously
Thanks so much Jemimah 🙂 so glad this resonated with you. I appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox
Excellent take on a serious issue. The body in the womb can not hire a lawyer. The baby in the womb can not voice their opinion. There are no doubt that situations arise in which if the baby in the womb could voice an opinion it may agree that the circumstances merit difficult decisions. I believe that the individual involved is the decision maker. I personally believe that life is eternal, and that the spirit has options to return into another to re-experience the life event. I often pray that I don’t wish to return Jewish in Germany in 1937. I can also see a similar circumstance if one were the one returning as the body in the aforementioned womb of debate. I wonder what my lawyer would say. My daughter also has suffered from the same decisions that you made early on in life and lives today with the results. Nothing is free. Your decisions become your results. The opinions of those looking back over their lives after the events in question were their choices may also bring interesting discussion to the table. Thank you for stirring the pot. Not just for yourself, but for those you are impacting today. Good job.
Hi Dennis! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and heart on this deeply emotional issue. You’re so right – the baby in the womb cannot hire a lawyer or speak out, so we must. I appreciate you joining the conversation. Hugs and love xox
Hi. Thanks so much for this post. I am pro-life – always have been, always will be – & I’m constantly incensed by woman saying that it’s their bodies, & so they have the right to end the life of the baby they’re carrying, often because it’s inconvenient for them. I know that sometimes women conceive due to rape through various situations, like abuse, & I have great sympathy for these women. But they’re still carrying another human being within their bodies. It’s heartbreaking to see how little human life is valued, especially the most vulnerable in our society.
On the other main issue of this post, your struggle with anorexia, I can relate a bit. I struggled with bulimia as a result of having been abused. I was harming myself, although I didn’t see it as such at the time. Most of my struggle with it happened while I was away at college & my parents & brother were unaware until years later of what was really going on with me. No one in my college stepped in to help, but then I hid it well & had isolated myself a lot. So no one actually got close enough to really know me or what was happening.
Still, I wish that someone had stepped in & showed some concern during the worst of it. Of course since I had placed a wall around myself, it was hard for people to really get close, but some did say later on that they knew something wasn’t right but they didn’t want to be accused of sticking their noses in where they didn’t belong. They regretted that.
A month before the end of my first year of college, I turned my life around. I rededicated my life to God & real healing began. I still struggled with bulimia a great deal, but God gave me the strength to overcome & He gave me some great friends who really supported me. In turn, I was able to support & to help them, & God used that to help me as well. It’s amazing how helping others can help us.
Why I mention this is that, while it’s true that we have choices about what we do with our bodies – God have us free will – that’s not an absolute thing. If we’re causing harm to ourselves or others (like purposely aborting a fetus), then that’s wrong. God calls us to support life & to nourish it – not to snuff it out.
I’d not thought about the whole choice thing as extending to other areas aside from abortion, but it’s true. Thank-you. ❤️
Thanks so much Michelle for sharing your heart on this issue. I’m so glad this resonated with you. I agree – all life needs to be valued and protected. And I’m so sorry to hear that you had to walk that difficult road. It breaks my heart to hear that you endured abuse. I am so sorry that you were not respected in the way that you deserved. And praise God that you had that turn around with God. Great friends are such a blessing indeed. Thanks again for sharing your story. You have a powerful testimony. Hugs and love xox
Hi Caralyn,
My friend just gave birth to a mixed race child because she did not want to have an abortion, she wants to give him up for adoption. He has some medical problems but is cute as button. Would you be willing to adopt him? Why or why not?
Hi Megan, thank you for sharing this. Your friend is a hero!! I personally am not in a place where I can raise a child – I am single and can barely pay my bills, which is one of the reasons why I am practicing abstinence. However, I know of at least 4 different couples that I could get your friend in touch with who are desperately wanting to adopt a child and have been on the waiting list for over two years. Hugs and love xox
Great post. Your unique perspective and how you told your story and how it relates to the same thoughts regarding abortion was very well said. A life is a gift from God. The circumstances of how the baby came about seems to be the crux of this tough topic. I’m completely pro-life: anti-war, for taking care of the environment, against capital punishment, helping those in need, for the unborn and the elderly. All are pro-life issues. I do believe in the exception of the woman’s life is in danger of being lost. I look at this issue through my Orthodox Christian lenses, which sees a mother pregnant with a baby, a new life. This baby is a human being with a body and a soul. The soul is created at conception. The body forms throughout the months in the womb. The heartbeat is beating as early as 6 weeks. I got to hear my second son’s (my first pregnancy was ectopic and unfortunately, I had to take shots to cause a miscarriage because it was in my fallopian tube) heartbeat at 6 weeks. I was adamant about the doctor checking then to make sure the baby was in the uterus and not one of my tubes. He was, thank God.
So I always remember, another body and soul is within you, and you have the responsibility to nurture and take care of it. If you are unable to do so, I do agree adoption is a good alternative, although I know the red tape and struggles going through that process both for the birth mother and the couples that want to adopt.
The issues of rape and incest are extremely difficult situations that merit compassion and not pedantic or preachy advice from a pro-life position because I can’t imagine how painful and tragic the experiences have been for the women. I only know that with the exception of the mother’s life being lost, I’m for giving the baby the chance to live since they had nothing to do with creating themselves. And that means helping the mother and child after the birth. Again, pro-life is life from womb to tomb. All life matters. And that even includes all of God’s creation — humans, animals, plants, etc. My thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your heart on this important issue. Life IS a gift from God. So true. And gosh, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to walk that road. My heart goes out to you, friend. Pro life from womb to tomb — I’ve never heard that before but WOW what a powerful phrase that i agree with 100%. Hugs and love xox
Thank you. 🙂 And you’re welcome. Glad you found my post helpful. 🙂 xxx ooo <3 <3
🙂 xoxox
I appreciate you being so honest and standing up for what you believe in! It was nice to hear your perspective, and you were very kind and loving in the way you presented it. Thank you for showing your love to people who stand on the opposing side of the argument. It was just refreshing to read. 🙂
Thank you so much Christie, I really appreciate your support. This is a tough issue, and I think respectful and healthy dialogue is crucial for society. So glad you stopped by 🙂 sending big big hugs xox
I really enjoyed this piece! It must have been challenging to write such a bold piece! Thank you for sharing! I’m actually going to publish a post tomorrow that’s a little heated, especially considering the current political climate.
Thank you for always encouraging me!
Thanks so much Sarah! Yeah a bit frightening to push publish on this one, but sometimes you’ve just gotta go for it!! Can’t wait to read your piece! Hugs and love xox
Thankyou for sharing what you went through. I agree with every word. Our bodies are a gift from God and we have a responsibility towards it. And the justification of using my body, my choice to kill an unborn child is beyond comprehension for me.
Thankyou for sharing your strength through your words.
Thanks so much friend. Amen to that – a gift and a responsibility. I really appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
Oh, Caralyn, this is beautiful! Just as you are inside and out.
Thanks you Terese – gosh what a kind thing to say. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it 🥰 have a beautiful weekend xox
You as well!
🥰🥰🥰
Great job of communicating a point that is being missed in all this rhetoric. The choice is being made at the time of conception. That choice brings responsibility. I admire the way you said this so much!
Thanks so much Jim I really appreciate your support. Amen – responsibility Indeed! Hugs and love xox
I was deeply affected by your post and the suffering that you underwent. I’m glad the life-threatening part is over. I’m not sure that the comparison between your struggle is analogous to an anti-abortion stance, so I will not comment.
Do you believe forcing a woman to give birth to a child should happen:
1. if the woman is raped?
2. if the child / girl / woman is a victim of incest?
If pro-life becomes the law of the land do you ascribe to providing care of the child if the woman is destitute? without family or any means of support?
Do you believe that since a pregnancy comes from sperm that men’s bodies should be held accountable? Mandatory vasectomies amongst all unmarried males unless they can prove and/or are tested for sterility?
Hi Kai, thank you for sharing your heart. I’m glad this resonated with you. i think that both the man and the woman, since they underwent the sexual act together, are both responsible for the child. Sadly, since the woman is physically carrying the child, many times she ends up with the responsibility of raising the child. And no, i do not believe in mandatory vasectomies – I don’t know of anyone who would take such a drastic position, honestly. One of the reasons I support prolife crisis pregnancy centers is that they offer support and resources to the woman before, during and AFTER the pregnancy. not only do they help with maternity clothes and neonatal vitamins, and help in the adoption process, but they also help with setting up child care options, will help the mother find a job, get her child support, baby clothes, etc. It is all encompassing, because you’re right – single mothers have a lot on their plate. But i don’t believe that the answer to any of the things you’ve mentioned can be solved by killing the child. hope that answers your questions. thanks for stopping by. hugs xo
Thank you for this post! Very well said! Your remarks about our bodies being a temple and an act of worship were convicting. Although, I regret to admit that my temple is, shall we say, over insulated. 🙁
Thank you so much Glenn! I’m so glad it resonated with you. Haha still a temple!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Hugs and love xox
Very nice article! Not only you explained it very soundly in the Biblical sense but also you presented the logical side of protecting the child with a very strong and reasonable argument. This is very profound wisdom. And it is evident that the Holy Spirit is working through you when you wrote this. God bless you more and more.
Thanks so much David – I appreciate that so much. And wow, I am humbled by such kind words. Big hugs to you xox
I’m glad for your recovery and your stand against abortion. God bless you.
thank you again 🙂 you’re on a reading roll! xox
Thank you for not being afraid to speak up about this and I totally agree with you!✨💗
Oh gosh, thank you so much Kylie for your support. it really means a lot!! this was a scary one to push publish on!!! haha hugs xo
I’ll always support you! I bet it was and we should always speak up about the huge controversy of abortion even when so many people have different views on it. I also love the shirt by the way☺️✨💗
You’re the sweetest 💛 I think you’re so right. And oh gosh thank you!!
Thank you and so are you💗 you’re welcome☺️
xoxo 🙂
Exquisitely said!
Thank you so much Tim! I appreciate that! hugs ox
I really enjoy reading your blog. I would love to work with you on a post for my blog on mental health. If you are interested please feel free to email me at: Amanda@amandagene.com
Hi Amanda! Thank you so much for reaching out! sounds like an interesting opportunity! thanks!! hugs xo
I hope to hear from you soon. 🙂
I was deeply moved my this post. Wow! Hmm. God is so great! The sad thing is that they are murdering our Father’s heritage and they will be dreadfully judged for that sin unless they repent and come to Jesus Christ. May we continue to stand for justice & righteousness in Jesus name! Blessings && strength to you! You are beautiful, strong, healthy& made new in Jesus! Glory!
Hi Tammy,thank you so much – I’m so glad this resonated with you so deeply. I agree – stand for justice in Jesus’ name!! hugs xo
Hi girl! <3 Amen! Yes and not just some of us but ALL of us. We have been silent too long. Yes, it did. Blessings! 🙂
all of us yes!!!
Yes!
I love this. Thank God for you.
Thank you so much 🙂 I really appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox
I Thank God for your pure acknowledgement of this seemly complicated issue for people.
Oh gosh thank you so much. This is a tough issue for sure. And we need more voices for the babies 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Your post was insightful, honest, and articulate. Your willingness to be vulnerable and share your toughest times is recognized and appreciated. I finished your post feeling like a had learned something, expanded my perspective, and gained in understanding. That is all I can ever ask for from the time I devote to reading anything. Thank you!
Hi Brad, thank you so much for your support on this. I’m so glad that this resonated with you. Amen to that!! I’m honored!! thanks again for taking the time to read it. big hugs xo
Great post. While I believe the choice should not be decided by those in government especially men, it is a choice that should be made by the individual. If a woman decides to have an abortion that is something she has to answer to with God. I don’t feel that I should judge because I am far from perfect. Yet I don’t feel abortion should be used as a form of birth control either. Women getting pregnant and having abortions just because they can is never the way to go. But if there are other circumstances I feel they should have a choice and what they choose to do is something they must live with.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! That’s a great point – I definitely don’t feel I have the right to judge either – that is only God’s place. And that is something that we all will have to answer to one day. There is definitely a lot of gray area surrounding this deeply emotional issue. I just pray for wisdom and guidance for the everyone involved, or who is touched by this issue. big hugs xoxoxo
So true. It’s a sad thing truly.
I struggle with an intensity over controlling my body with food, exercise, touch, etc. It’s a deep and hard road, and I’m so glad, so glad that you can speak from yourself in all this mess. I was pro-choice in high school, part of my bachelor years, until I was put into a place where I had to face some choices made FOR me, as age-of-minority as I’d been. Know what turned on the lightbulb for me? It wasn’t the idea that God loved me, or that I am precious in His sight. Nor is it that my body is a living temple, an earthen vessel. Self-hatred is awful.
What struck me is closer to your inspirational graphics in your post. That my life is beyond myself, and with each death crossing my face, that, friend, is how God made clear His grace. Love for others. Thank you for sharing yourself in this space. <3
Thank you so much Karina for sharing your story. God has an abundance of grace and love for each of His children. Remembering that helps me through the tough days:) sending so much love and hugs xox
Dear BeautyBeyondbones
I am writing this first because I was trying to find a tiny comment box on your blog to write without actually going to an article. But I have failed and now I am using this platform to write to you.
Yet I did look a little at this article on abortion- I am glad you are pro abortion, its not the most popular stand to take.
I wanted to say thank you for taking the time of your day, (probably very busy and have allot of other responsibilities to do;) to read my blog articles, and I want you to know that I appreciate that.
I hope you have a blessed week,
Your’s Sincerely
Ninos Hadjirousou
Hi Ninos, thank you for commenting. I just want to clarify, despite the title, I am actually not pro-abortion. I am staunchly anti-abortion. Just wanted to clear that up. Thank you so much for taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
Oh! I am so sorry
I must have been sleeping while writing. After reading your message this morning;
I have to say that I am actually anti abortion too! (this is what I meant btw yesterday- slippery keyboard and typo …)
Thank you for clarifying- that is what I was glad about- you are anti abortion.
I appreciate your reply 🙂
Not to worry 🙂 Thanks again for taking the time to read!! big hugs to you xox
I have a very different view on the topic but appreciate your thoughtful, personal connection to your journey with eating disorders/your body. I think we can all benefit from reading and discussing opposing views in respectful ways — thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and join the conversation. I agree! Open and respectful dialogue is so needed!! I appreciate you! Hugs and love xox
You are soooo beautiful!!!💕💕💕💕
Oh my gosh thank you So much 🙂 Hugs and love xox
You are to be commended for sharing this story of your life and your choice. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You said it better than many have said it…
Thanks once again for stopping by my blog post “Innocent”
This is exactly right: From womb to tomb…that is what life is and it is up to the Father to determine the destiny.
Thank you so much!!! I so appreciate your support 🙂 womb to tomb! Amen! Hugs and love xox
The whole situation is very sad, and it is women that are pushing it…. this time they cant blame men. Why they cant see that abortion is murder is beyond me. From the moment of conception our spirit enters this world.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I completely agree. Conception! Hugs and love xox
Well said. I appreciate the way you shared this. God bless!
Thank you so much Dan!! Hugs and love xox
Very powerful, thank you for posting
Thank you so much Lydia. Hugs and love xox
[…] Here is the link to the blog I quoted if you would like to read the full content: https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/05/20/my-body-my-choice/ […]
Thanks for the link up!! Hugs and love xox
I admire your courage and strength 🙂
Thank you David. Hugs and love xox
Love your blog and your story sounds incredible! So thankful you have been victorious in the Lord over your battles and you march on! You truly are an inspiration and I love what you wrote! It is another human’s right to live! We all crave life – God made us that way! <3 God bless you, Sister!
Hi Christine! Oh gosh thank you so much for your kind words and support. It truly means so much. Amen – God made us that way!! Hugs and love xox