Thank you all so much for the wonderful birthday wishes!!
My mom surprised me in NYC, so I’ve had just the most lovely last couple days with her doing some shopping and eating at some delicious restaurants with my friends!
Recovery is a long and difficult road. And over the last 12 years, I have definitely discovered some mental shifts that truly helped keep my recovery train moving forward and on the right track.
But truly, they are applicible to everyone in life. Because I think we all have areas in life that bring us fear or anxiety or uncertainty. And if we allow those negative thought processes to be the lens through which we view the world, we are thwarting our chance to thrive.
So here are the “mental shifts” that I made that truly turned my recovery around.
1 Adopt a “What If” Mindset
This one was absolutely critical. Because in the beginning of recovery, there is SO MUCH FEAR. It controls your thoughts, your heart, your decisions.
What I had to do was turn that fear into curiosity. Sure, I had over 30 pounds to gain – I could either continue to be terrified of that fact, OR, I could become curious about the possibilities that came along with a life free from ED. Become curious about the way my body would bloom.
2 Just do the next right thing.
This dynamite piece of advice was given to me by my mother. I was explaining recovery to someone the other day as trying to drink the ocean through a straw. Or standing a the bottom of Mt. Everest and looking up at a mountain you have to climb bare foot. It can seem incredibly overwhelming, to the point where you don’t even know where to start.
And that overwhelming feeling can paralyze you, if I’m being honest.
So just take it one decision at a time. Day by day, meal by meal, moment by moment. Just do the next right thing.
Because the thing is: baby steps add up to bigger steps, which add up to miles, and pretty soon you’re at the top of that mountain, looking back at how far you’ve come.
3 Embrace a spirit of YES!
There is nothing more powerful than the word YES! There was a day at inpatient where I was sitting at the meal table, and I just said — OK, Lord – I’m going to say YES to whatever you put in front of me. In that moment, as a scared young girl, I knew that God knew what was best for me, and in fact, already had everything planned out. So I just need to let Him drive. And embrace what He was unfolding in front of me — especially the food on my plate!
And that was the beginning of my “YES” mindset — and it has bled into all areas of my life: social engagements, career opportunities, spontaneous adventures — life is more fulfilling when you welcome it with open arms!
4 When all else fails, GET ANGRY
This last one was a last resort effort, on those days where I couldn’t muster the strength to fight. And that was to GET ANGRY. But more specifically, Get Angry at Satan.
“ED” — which is in reality, actually Satan — had stolen so much from me, through the suffocating strangulation of the anorexia. And so I got mad. And I literally took and inventory — I wrote it out in my journal — of all the things that he stole from me: my health, my body, my relationships, my graduation, my passions, my goofy personality, my ambition, my college, my extracurriculars, my fertility, MY HAIR — I mean, he is a thief that comes only to steal, kill and destroy! SO GET MAD ABOUT IT, and then use that anger as the fuel to RECLAIM YOU LIFE! And TAKE BACK WHAT IS YOURS!
This mindset helped me on many a day when the snack or supplement increase seemed insurmountable, and the fear was winning. I’d get mad, and then every bite I took would be a way to say, “TAKE THAT, SATAN!”
So there you have it. I hope those are helpful to you! I know they were to me!
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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Here was yesterday’s video! https://youtu.be/8pmp4ZI968A
A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia. Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.
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