Well, here it is, it’s Sunday night, and I’m sitting at my desk, looking at a beautiful bouquet of flowers, sent to me by a suitor, whom…I have absolutely no romantic interest in.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Recently here — as in the last couple weeks or so — I’ve learned a very important lesson. I’ve grown, you could say.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s the new year, or that I’m finally following the advice of my brilliantly in-tune parents, but lately here, I have become incredibly…honest.
You see, growing up as a perpetual people pleaser, not only did it contribute to the anorexia in my past, but it has also resulted in this crippling mindset of never wanting to let anyone down. And as a result, I will “go with the flow” and often put my needs and wants second to whomever I’m trying to appease.
Hence why there’s a $75 dollar bouquet of roses on my dining table right now…because I was reluctant to tell this guy I wasn’t interested for fear of hurting his feelings.
But slowly, I’ve been working to end that self-sabotaging way of living.
Recently — I’ve spoken my position with bouquet boy and set a boundary for friendship only. I’ve spoken my heart with a person, and allowed my vulnerability to come through, even though it was incredibly scary. And I’ve advocated for myself and the needs my body has by saying a healthy two letter word: No.
And you know what? It felt incredibly freeing.
You see, at the end of the day, when I put my head on my pillow, I have to sleep, knowing that I either, a) listened to and respected my needs and boundaries. Or b) neglected the self-respect necessary to do so.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m growing up, but I’ve come to realize that I cannot be everything to everybody. Doing what is right for me, is not selfish or self-centered or egotistical, but rather, necessary to be a full, functioning, multifaceted individual.
I was talking with a friend earlier today, and this person was discussing how he feels guilty for taking a vacation and being away from his patients.
And I told him that, he should view this vacation — this period of soul recharge — as part of a necessary routine of self care. Because the thing is, especially in his line of work, you simply cannot give from an empty cup.
If you’re going to positively impact people around you, and be the best parent, or friend, or teacher, or boss, or whatever — you have to be personally filled up to be able to do so to the best of your ability.
And of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean taking a ten-day vacation in the Swiss Alps, but rather, living from a mindset of self-respect.
And advocating for your needs, boundaries, and feelings, is definitely a huge component of such self-respect.
Now, granted, there is of course, only One true source who can fill our cups completely, and make them overflow — and that is Jesus.
But even He knew the importance of honesty and self-respect.
I mean, just look at how he retreated to pray — in the wilderness, in Gethsemane, on the mountainside, in the desert — Jesus knew the importance of respecting his need for solitude, and tapping into the Source of strength, through prayer.
But back to the flowers.
Honestly, I wish I’d have started speaking up for myself sooner. Because the truth is, it has been so fulfilling. So freeing. So empowering. So, just…good.
I feel strong. And like I’m truly listening to my body and its needs — mentally, physically, and emotionally.
There is nothing more important than honesty. Especially when it comes to you.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia. Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.
***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***
Sign up below for my free newsletter!
Get my daily videos, recipes and posts delivered straight to your inbox!
[mc4wp_form id=”30616″]
Here was yesterday’s video! https://youtu.be/8pmp4ZI968A
MAGIC TOOTHPASTE? Yes! I am in love with this superior whitening toothpaste. It keeps my smile sparkling, without sensitivity or bleach! I made a website where you can directly order this miracle product! So if you want to give it a try, you can go ahead and grab a tube for yourself. I promise, your smile will thank you!
I had so much fun going through the FabFitFun winter box — it’s filled with awesome products — from beauty, to fitness, fashion, skincare, home — all full size, valued at over $250, but sold for only $39.99 when you use my code “SANTABABY!”
Be sure to check out my affiliate, Audible. Listening to audiobooks while I cook is literally my new favorite thing. And just for you, they’re offering a Free 30-Day Trial Membership. And with this free membership, you’re going to get 2 free audiobooks! Literally. Free. It is the best deal ever. And if for some reason, you decide it’s not for you, you can cancel within those 30 days and it’s zero money out of your pocket, plus, you get to keep the 2 audiobooks. Soooo…it’s pretty much a no brainer. Plus, it’s a free and easy way to support this blog! So thank you!!
Huge shoutout to my favorite: Ethos Spa Skin and Laser Center in Summit, New Jersey! Located just outside of NYC, this gorgeous medical spa keeps my skin healthy and bright! Stop in and treat yo’self! 🙂
STAY CONNECTED!
@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram
For Podcast versions of my posts, please check out Patreon! It’s only $2 a month!! You make this blog possible 🙂
And really quickly, I’ve had several questions concerning my Amazon link (amazon.com/shop/beautybeyondbones) — You do not need to buy one of my specific highlighted products on my page, in order for it to “credit” my account. Any purchases that you search or make from anywhere on Amazon, after first visiting my Amazon page, will credit this blog and help support this blog ministry. I am truly so grateful and appreciative to those of you wanting to do so! So thank you! Again, it is an absolutely free, and easy way for you to help keep this blog going!
139 responses to “Empowering Honesty”
Honesty can be pretty hard, because none of us want to hurt anyone, people pleaser or not. It can be difficult to simply decide if we should. Is it important enough to speak a potentially hurtful truth? Is it the right time? Hardest – how do we tell the truth without being hurtful? The last is a real skill.
I’ll ask you a question, which is the flip of tonight’s situation. You have a legitimate need to be honest and say no to someone. But…are you ready to be honest to tell someone you are interested in them?
You’re so right about that Jeff – that last one is a skill that takes decades to master. Thats a powerful question! Eek! Gives me the butterflies to even think about! Haha thanks for stopping by tonight! Hugs to you and your girls! Xox
Eek indeed. How many times have I encouraged you to go ahead and take a chance? I pray you’ll find that strength and realize how easy it really is. Weird example – I had to kiss a friend’s wife for a play. I was completely weirded out until she took the initiative and kissed me. Once done, it was nothing. Talk to someone you are interested in. Anticipation is a killer! PLUS – I figured out how to use an editor and finally have a homemade acting reel. Almost ready to pull the trigger contacting agencies. Anticipation is my current problem – what if they say no? But gotta try!
Your so right — taking a chance — that’s the ticket. oh gosh – what an example! haha #actorproblems am i right?? but so true. That’s right!! I got your email!! I will check it out this morning and get back to you! i’m sorry i had a friend visiting all weekend and so i haven’t gotten to my inbox yet, but i cannot cannot WAIT to see it!!! you’re following your own advice and taking a chance and i’m so pumped for you!!! 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words! Means the world!
🙂 I didn’t forget! I will look at it when i get home! Haha sorry crazy day of auditions! 🥰
No worries! I pray you get at least one job out of it all! Good for you to have those opportunities!!
Yes! Thank you! Just sent it! Loved your work!!
Yes!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! 💛
I know what you mean when it comes to being honest, especially with potential significant others. I’m sure that while it was a blow to his ego, he appreciated your honesty. It’s better than stringing him along out of not wanting to hurt his feelings (which I am guilty of because I, too, can be a people-pleaser). Good to hear that you’re choosing honesty. Thanks for the post!
-Annalee
Thank you so much Annalee! Glad this resonated with you. you’re right – that was the right thing to do – stringing along is never kind. hugs xo
Now I want a trip to the Alps since you suggested it. 🙂 It’s so easy to give, and give, and give, and leave nothing for yourself because you have no boundaries. I’ve been there at my church where I served nonstop for 7+ years and only took a breather in 2018. It was so worth it to take a short sabbatical or else I would have gone nuts.
With much agape and philia! XOXOXO
PS> Hope you come to a good decision about that the guy.
ahahah let me know when you go and i’ll book a ticket too!! 😉 hahaha thanks friend hugs x
Being honest can be difficult and uncomfortable but in the long run a much better way to be even if feeling are temporarily hurt.
Saying No is so hard isn’t it. I always used to struggle with saying No as I wanted to please everyone too.
you’re so right about that — it is so so much betting in the long run. thanks for the encouragment! Hugs and love xox
Good for you! I’ve learned that being a people pleaser definitely attracts the WRONG kind of people. So having boundaries, being confident, knowing yourself, that is not selfish, it’s HEALTHY. Hugs!
thank you so much! you’re right about that – it’s the most healthy thing we can do!!! i appreciate the encouragemetn! Hugs and love xox
“Bouquet boy” this name cracks me up. But on the other side of this, kudos to you for realizing this important life lesson so young. It has taken me a lot longer to get there, but I have learned to say No too and it feels good. It is my life, gosh darn it!
thank you so much friend — you’re right — saying no and setting that boundary is so important and empowering!! Hugs and love xox
I hope you made a true friend with your honesty
thank you Alice, i hope so too!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Well done for your honesty. At least apart from liberating you, it also lets the other party know where they stand, rather than pretending with each other. However, often one party may be too impatient and they hit brick wall. The most important thing is that you must both sing from the same ‘hymn sheet’. (1 Cor 6:14) Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed, (Amos 3:3) I have no doubt that there will be many more suitors and some may not appear what you are expecting. They may not be wolves in sheep’s clothing, but gold in disguise, only to be unearthed with prayers, as the Lord opens your eyes. He did with many when they encountered Him ( Gen. 21:19, Num 22:31 2 Ki 6:17,20, Luke 24:31, Gen 3:7) Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.(1 Sam16:7).
You will not miss your way. May the Lord open your eyes to see what belongs to you and embrace it, no matter how it is disguised, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
thank you so much! you’re right about that – gotta sing from the same hymn sheet — i love that analogy so much! thank you for your pryers! Hugs and love xox
Ahh Miss Caralyn,
Learning to speak up, to find ones voice, to understand the beauty of our uniqueness, value, worthiness, sometimes take much longer. I can speak to the taking longer. I’m enjoying this process, and it is, without a doubt, as you’ve lived, a journey of faith. May your journey continue bringing you closer to Jesus and his beautiful Mom.
Hi Teri!! Aw, thank you for this encouragemetn! You’re so right – finding ones voice is such a beautiful journey, one that is important and worth the wait! thanks for sharing your heart! Hugs and love xox
Yay! Growth is all the scary, but lovely things. xx
you’re so right about that, Brooke! thank you for the encouragement! hugs xo
My pleasure, gorgeous girl! x
✨💛✨🥰🥰🥰
If you don’t want them I’ll take the flowers 😏.
Kidding. Saying “No” is an important life skill.
hahahahah you’re hysterical, Marc. Thank you – so right about that! Hugs and love xox
Caralyn, so glad that you are valuing yourself. If you do not place value on yourself, you will try to please people. This is always a losing proposition to try to please others because they always change. You are showing great wisdom that frees you from others’ expectations. Abundant blessings, love and hugs.
thank you so much!! You’re so right about that — it’s important to value ourselves — Jesus definitely did! Enough to embrace the Cross!! That should speak volumes! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
You are welcome!
✨💛✨
Hey Caralyn. So proud of you. We know Our Lord Jesus watches over you, caring for you. We also know He has given you a mind, with the ability to discern and choose.
We each have that God given responsibility to take care of ourselves also, after prayer and seeking God of course. He will guide us, and Holy Spirit lets you know a certain gentleman is not God’s choice for you, then it is up to you to do as you did, letting him know. That is living with a God sensitivity, and a sensitivity and courtesy to let the gentleman know early as well.
Your wisdom and maturity growth is Holy Spirit led and grounded, and I hope many grasp on and follow your lead, as you openly share so much of your life.
God’s Blessings Caralyn.
Much Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘
and hopefully bouquet boy was simply being honest with you…
i definitely think he was. he is an incredibly upstanding guy. wish him the best 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Gorgeous flowers and a beautiful post. Well done you! 😃
thank you so much!! i appreciate that 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Yes — “Doing what is right for me, is not selfish or self-centered or egotistical, but rather, necessary to be a full, functioning, multifaceted individual.” It took me a long time to learn this lesson, too, but it’s a total game changer! 💞😊
thank you so much! game changer indeed! Hugs and love xox
If you’re not honest with yourself first, then you can’t be honest on the outside. That’s what I’ve learned. Good for you though. Not easy. But life isn’t.
You’re so so right about that Derek! honesty is the key to a full and fulfilling life. Hugs and love xox
Hi, what a great BLOG. Thank you for liking my post today on my BLOG so I could find this one. Will be praying for you…..
thank you so much!! so glad it hit home with you. thanks for your prayers! hugs xo
On our very first date with Pat I vowed to myself and God never to lie to Pat and yes I proposed to her on that first date. She died just after the 50th anniversary of that first date. We are still ONE and still very much in love. The truth is important to a relationship and to a marriage. Love is stronger than Death and lasts forever.
what a beautiful bond. Eric, I am always so inspired by the love you have for your wife. I am so sorry that she is no longer with us on this earth, but how sweet will the reunion be in Heaven 🙂 You’re right about that. Hugs and love xox
Some people have a difficult time setting boundaries way after they’ve “grown up”. Like me. So I am glad that you are beginning to “get it”. I love reading about how others progress through life. It’s so not easy sometimes and communicating with others is extremely helpful. We can only be responsible for our own feelings. Wonderful post. Thank you.
You’re right about that! thanks so much for the encouragement. big hugs xo
I have done it too. It is only now that I have a son of my own and seen the results when girls are less than honest, that I have understood a few things. Some of my former suitors are still friends and I am only now building up to truly apologising.
You’re right about that – honesty shines through when you’re looking for it. thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective! Hugs and love xox
I grew up being a people pleaser as well. I hate confrontation however my unexpressed anger grows into resentment, leading to anxiety and depression. This is not the will of God. I grew up with adults that didn’t instill in me that I was lovable and valuable just as I was so today I feel that I need “to do something” in order to be loved and validated by others. People pleasers are dependent on others for their sense of self-worth; we can be convinced that if other people are angry or disappointed with us then it means that we are inadequate. A vicious circle can be created with people pleasers especially when we are interacting with individuals who are aware of the power they hold in the relationship. The people who see that they can have the power in the relationship will perceive it as weakness and they will cross boundaries, be disrespectful or even abusive. In this new year, I’ve made it one of my goals to let go of being a people pleaser and instead become someone who is kind.
Thanks so much Kim for sharing yourheart. You’re right about that – it is a vicious cycle. love your goal! Hugs and love xox
*virtual hug back at cha!*;)
aw yay! 🙂 xoxox
My dear Caralyn
Yes, honesty is very important on our spiritual path – we have to learn, not only to be honest to others, but also to ourselves and last but not least to the One in us who knows our heart very well, the Christ-power or God-power – and when we know that we cannot cheat Him as He can read all our thoughts – with this knowledge we need no longer to hide in front of ourselves. Sometimes we are in a fix: on one hand we do not want to hurt someone to tell the truth and on the other hand we allow the truth to be hidden under the carpet – which is also not right – truth may sometimes hurt that is true – but what is hurt? – yes only the mind is hurt, false pride not to accept the truth. In this connection, dear friend, I want to share with you a poem of mine that I have recently written:
Journey to become honest and pure
To be honest
Is a matter of consciousness
To know our own mistakes
A process – walking into the depth
It is easy to say: “I am honest”
How many things we have overseen
Have not considered as honesty, dishonesty
In our daily life?
Yes, I am honest according of what I know
About my present state of mind
Present knowledge of myself
But what about the ignorance of myself?
Then I have missed many things
To consider as honesty, dishonesty
So walking in ourselves
Is to discover, to know ourselves – more and more…
What I claimed yesterday as honesty
May be today under a broadened horizon
So we bear honesty on our shoulders
To get lighter and lighter from ourselves…
The more we find us
The more we lose us
Detached from the world and even ourselves
To become pure in our hearts…
DidiArtist, 15.01.2020
If you like you can also see my digital art that goes along this poem:
https://didisvgp.wordpress.com/2020/01/16/journey-to-become-honest-and-pure/
Love and light to you, dear Caralyn and be always you 🙂
Didi
oh wow, Didi, what an absolutely beautiful poem. thank you for sharing that with me. i am touched. Hugs and love xox
From heart to heart, my friend 🙂
A happy day to you 🙂
Hugs and love
Didi
✨💛✨
Reading your article, I know very well what Bouquet Boy must be feeling. Yup, a scenario I can relate – the story of my life.
But you know Caralyn, you did the right thing. As a ‘Bouquet Boy’ myself, there were many times I wish someone was honest enough to tell me the truth straight up.
It has been said, “Honesty is the best Policy”. However our snowflake, egotistical world likes a little bending of the truth. The truth hurts in a matter of speaking, but it will hurt for an absolute second, compared to what decades of hurt a tiny lie can accomplish. Silence is an even worse thing.
Thank you so much! amen – honesty is the best polity. and silence is even worse. yep yep. Hugs and love xox
I too have always put the needs of others before mine & never truly knew how to let people down. I always just wanted to make them happy but they in turn never reciprocated the same. I made the decision last year to put myself first, say no because I also understood that it didn’t mean I was selfish either but rather cared for my mental health and self more. Thank you for reminding me of this.
thank you so much for sharing your heart, Gcinekile. i love that — way to put yourself first!! cheering for you! hugs xo
Honesty really is the best policy.
it really is Carol! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Mmm. It raises issues. You have to be honest with yourself in order to be honest with others. I know folks who didn’t really know themselves, didn’t know what they wanted and so let others steer them even though they knew that it wasn’t ‘alright’ or ‘all right’, and sadly, that’s how it turned out.
I feel honoured (English see!), having just checked out what BBB is all about, that you visited my pitiful new site and saw my first post ‘Who Can We Trust?’. My intention is to put serious questions out there and try to point out that, yes, Jesus is the Way. We can try going our way but it’s pretty futile and damaging. Anyway, I’d probably do better by promoting your site instead; I came here partly to see how other people do it and now I see, I feel encouraged that these platforms CAN be used for God’s glory, often without even speaking His name because of the wholesome content and comments; but I also feel slightly deflated at being such a dinosaur. It’ll be a steep curve but thanks for the inspiration and for being inspiring to so many. God bless you.
you’re so right about that ! honesty in one area breeds honesty in others! i look forward to following along on your blog! Hugs and love xox
Thanks. Honesty is indeed contagious but in some circumstances, not the ‘best policy’ as it can create barriers… it should always under the umbrellas of love and respect. I don’t know how you find the time for the responses, but well done. You inspired me to dig out my poem about bones ‘X-ray for Equity’ and put it on my site but I can’t work out how to have more than two posts at a time so things get buried quickly. Up to speed soon hopefully.
🙌🏼💛💛💛
Beautiful. These are very important lessons to learn, but I’ve found that you have to be in the right place in life to learn and accept them. Good for you.
thank you so much Amy! 🙂 You’re right about that — We’ve got to be ready to receive His lessons! Hugs and love xox
Honesty is the right thing. But, I think I’d really enjoy those roses anyway. A nice man brought a touch of joy into your day. That, all by itself, is a pleasure. 🙂
It really is!! hahah oh yes – i have thoroughly enjoyed waking up to them these last several mornings 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Good for you in saying no! I find it difficult too because like you..people pleaser..but just like you..saying “no” really is liberating <3 and honest to them and to myself.
Thank you so much! You’re right — liberating indeed! hugs xo
Hello Caralyn! I love everything you’re saying here as you explore the depths of your soul and find the underlying truth in there about you and the people around you or in your life, past present and those to come! You are right to see your parents as you do so wise and God loving as they are and you are growing in that appreciation of how it takes a lot of facing reality to get to be where they are! I want to say this; I feel like looking at you in a sense as they do as a parent because I see the child here but I also see you as a new friend sister now in whom I’m seeing this blessing of awakening and change taking place in your life. I would have felt the same about you no matter how things went with you over time but at least now I’m feeling a buzz of happiness in my heart when I think of you as this nice well-articulated and openly expressive and exposed younger woman of the internet world! As you know, and I have even had to learn much later than you, that this world is much fakery and non-meaningful gibberish too often, lip service as it were, especially if one’s real life isn’t in proper order and truthful perspective isn’t employed and carried out daily in that real world; the actual YOU world! You just helped me and made my day to see this beginning of transformation in you and you have been quite remarkable up till now in many ways how you overcame a lot and produced some tangible good; but now you are lifting-off like a rocket on a trip to a proper destination as I see it! Good work and kudos to you! You’re a fine example for other ladies with struggles to see that there is hope and to have courage and get moving toward truth! Thank you again and God bless you! I’ll also be quite frank and bold here to say that your most recent articles paled in comparison to this one which is truly about honest appropriate perspective in my eyes; as we are in a very messed up world currently so to me priorities are of paramount importance and a sense of triage is imperative in what we project or spend our waking hours thinking about or doing with our precious God given resources! Keep this up as best you can and if I help or hinder in any way, just let me know and I will see what needs to be adjusted or improved; even if it’s me predominately! I love this courage and integrity you are displaying here! All the best,
Lawrence
PS
This is so amazing, because I was thinking about you over the last few days and how I saw nothing popping up in my emails as far as notifications about your Blog! Now I get it!!! I was worrying again and not doing like my Dad always said, “to read between the lines!” I get impatient and that is a fault I have! Family tree hyper personality trait! You bring out the honestly in me too! Thanks Friend! 😊
Thanks so much Lawrence! you’re sweet – yes — Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays! That’s when the emails should be coming 🙂 hehe hope you’re having a great week so far! hugs x
Hi again, it’s me the guy who can worry a bit. And; I really hope your week is wonderful so far as well! Thank you for the compliment, tis so thoughtful and kind of you! Although, I can be what you said; but aren’t grapes sweet or sour at times, especially older ones!
And of course Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s why didn’t I catch on to that sooner one may ask or at least I’m wondering, LOL! I think the worrying gets in the way; ah huh, so see that’s proof of it right there, clouds the vision or thought processes; might be time to read between those lines more closely and then some! I know what; I’m going to get my eyes checked and; “perhaps need better readers!” “See that,” all’s well that ends well! Hey, if all else fails I can always pull out my old science class magnifying glass and be a regular “Sherlock Holmes!” Then I’m not likely to miss a trick or even a speck! Oh, oh, what am I getting myself into this time? I better remove the beam from my own eye before I “speak of a speck” in the eye of another! Pip, Pip, Cheerio, and all that! Carry on my lass! He, he, jolly good show! Silly boy!
😂😂😂👍👏🇺🇸
sherlock holmes hahah you make me chuckle! 🙂
Well then, I accomplished my primary mission Caralyn! 🙂 By golly that was the ticket if you must know! And there is a bit of Sherlock in me; and if I can be so bold as to venture to say as I detect there is in you as well! So, as they say across the pond, well done by George, now carry on! I certainly intend on doing just that! At least until the next mission accomplished; as we say in these parts! Ha,ha! 🙂
🙂
🤗
Bears Hugging!
Well done, Caralyn! As they say, honesty is the best policy.
thank you Diana! yes! the BEST policy! Hugs and love xox
You’re welcome, my friend! 💙
xoxo 🙂
Regarding your friend and vacation: Some years ago I had a friend and colleague refer to his vacation as “mental health insurance” and the term has stuck with me. We don’t feel guilty for paying our health insurance premiums because we know that’s a boundary, even an expense, that we need for good self-care so why should our time away from work/family/responsibilities/etc. be any different? Yes, there is a cost in time, money, relationships. etc. but there is a greater cost for neglecting good self-care. We *need* that time and, as you rightly noted, caregivers need to take the oxygen mask first. We can’t care for those around us unless we care for ourselves first.
You’re so right about that — we’ve got to put on our oxygen mask first! thanks friend! Hugs and love xox
As Dr. Larry Crabb wrote, “We develop a style of relating designed to protect ourselves from the pain we fear.” Often we fail to be open and honest because we’re scared of how badly we’ll feel if the other person doesn’t like hearing the truth. It’s yet another form of deception on our part. Glad to hear you freed your friend from being mistaken about your relationship. That’s part of the growth in Christ process.
thanks for this powerful insight, Rollie! You’re so right – let us be free from that fear! hugs xo
So lovely that your are making discoveries and sticking by them! Great post!
We all deserve a little space to ourselves. There is nothing wrong in that. Not overly indulgent, self preservation is giving respect to God’s subject.
You can only break the heart of one who is worthy of holding together. All the rest are just a passage of miscommunication. Honesty does have an advantage. The best to you young lady.
To be hosnest, this whole recover thing has been rough!(understatement of my life)!!!!! I’m hard core struggling, and don’t know how to just be honest with my friends and family that I need more help than I’m getting. I’m genuinly ready to give up and just let my ed take over me. I don’t know what to do
Hi Natalie — I’m sorry that you’re strugging. That is totally normal on the journey of recovery – don’t be discouraged! There will be ups and downs, highs and lows, but the important thing is to remain dedicated to moving forward. I think you hit the nail on the head — they are your family and friends and they want you to recover, and are your supporters and advocates. They would be THRILLED to hear you say that you want more help. Truly. They would cheer you on, because by acknowleding that advocating for your recovery, it shows your dedication, and that you truly desire a recovered life. Which is amazing. because a recovered life, free from ED is absolutely incredible and WHAT YOU DESERVE. I’m cheering for you and would definitely encourage you to have that conversation with your loved ones — like RIGHT NOW. Right after you get off the computer — call them in and have the heart to heart. ED has robbed you for far too long, don’t give him another second!!! you got this babe.
I can’t though, I really wish I could
[…] via Empowering Honesty — BeautyBeyondBones. […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
This was an awesome post. I smiled and laughed when you said “Bouquet Boy”. You are funny. I’m glad that you were honest. Being honest can cause people to leave your life but the right people who are meant to be there will surely be by your side. Stay true to who God created you to be, Caralyn 🤗
Aw thank you so much Karen! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! You’re right about that! Hugs and love xox
No problem Caralyn 🤗. Have a lovely day
Ah that is so true – “you can’t give from an empty cup.” Thank you for this reminder 🙂
Hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself!
– Katie
Thanks so much Katie! So glad this resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
Perfectly said! Sometimes growing up is hard. But most of the time it’s liberating! Knowing the Lord has your back at all times…priceless! 😉
Thank you so much Ashley! You’re right about that – so liberating! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Since I started reading The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, I realize all the effort I’ve wasted trying to please people. The Daily Stoic has reinforced the fact that the only thing I have control over is what’s between my ears. I’ve found it most helpful.
Thanks for sharing that! I’ll definitely have to check out that book! Thanks for the recco! Hugs and love xox
Good for you. Being honest in the beginning can really help you in the end. Blessings
Thank you so much! You’re so right about that – honesty is always the best policy! Hope you’re having a great week! Hugs and love xox
What a beautifully written post, because I too struggle daily wanting to please people. I didn’t struggle with an eating disorder but I battle with depression and anxiety. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Glad this resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
❤
xoxo 🙂
Amen! Praises to God for your growth in this aspect. I struggle with that weed too as well and my Father is plucking it out bit by bit. It’s a change that won’t come overnight but I’m getting there and it’s so true, when you’re honest with yourself and others it truly feels so freeing and just good you know! Blessed & uplifting message. God keep you and strengthen you as you continue to grow in Him! Blessings! <3
Thanks Tammy! Yes! So grateful to Him for the healing in my life! Thanks for the kind words! Hugs and love xox
You’re most welcome! Amen in all of our life’s! No problem at all! Same to you!
💛💛💛
Listen to Global Vibe Radio 184 Feat. Oscar Mulero (PoleGroup, Warm Up) by 6AM on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/6amgroup/global-vibe-radio-184-feat-oscar-mulero-polegroup-warm-up
I’m so proud of you for listening to your heart! I’m way older and just learning to do the same – better late than never – and feel like I’m finally stepping into who God made me to be. It’s such a joyful thing!
Aw thank you Kara 🙂 you’re so sweet. Yes! A joyful thing indeed! So happy for you! Hugs and love xox
I really needed this post as a sort of push to do the right thing. I am in a similar situation and I didn’t know what attitude to adopt. I don’t want to hurt this man’s feelings but at the same I don’t want to lead him on. I first chose to ignore him but that just make me feel more guilty because he is indeed a nice person. I guess honesty really is the best policy
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Yeah, although difficult in the moment, honesty really is the best policy. so glad you stopped by. hugs xo
Great post. I can relate to his post as I often find myself trying to keep other people happy.
Thank you so much Amanda!! I’m glad this resonated with you. Yes! Advocating for ourselves is a good thing! hugs xo
Amen. As a young minister out of seminary involved in teaching and helping with worship for my church, “burn out” is very common. The Lord designed us to take a day of Rest. We cannot properly serve either the Lord or other people if we’ve run ourselves ragged; we only end up doing those we’re trying to help a disservice because we’ll end up cutting corners.
Thank you so much Michael. You’re so right! Recharging and refilling our cup is necessary!! Hugs and love xox
I appreciate your perspective on honesty. Honestly, I’ve had the opposite experience where I push people away due to my explicit honesty. However, I’m pleased (purposefully using a weak affirmation) with the results. As cliched as it is, “you can please everyone part of the time, and some people all of the time, but you can not please everyone all of the time.” Essentially, everyone has their path and when you arrive at the truth of the cliche we all hope that the individual does not have to live with regrets; honestly.
Thank you so much Keith, I appreciate you sharing your heart. You’re right – everyone has their path! Hugs and love xox
Honesty delivered with empathy is always the best way to go.
I definitely agree Ian! Hugs and love xox
Great advice to share! We need to remain true to ourselves. God’s peace!
Thank you friend 🙂 amen to that! True to ourselves!! Hugs and love xox
I also give client, students and my family the plane oxgen mask speech because its true you cant help or love someone if you dont love yourself or in your words “you simply cannot give from an empty cup.”
aw thank you so much 🙂 You’re so right about that! can’t give from an empty cup! hugs xo
Great write. I am practicing honesty also. We must honour and kneel to the power and beauty of honesty. Honesty is purification and we should never bend the truth or we face living a lie…
thank you!!! yes!! honesty is purification. love that x