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Alright: onto tonight’s post!
I was watching a really interesting video yesterday on YouTube. And I’m embarrassed to share the title, because…it’s pretty mortifying.
Suffice it to say, it was about dating and relationships.
Hey – I’m not above a little free advice from quasi-questionable sources on the internet.
But during this video, the “penny dropped,” as my late acting teacher would have said.
It was talking about how the number one thing that makes people ready for relationships, is being emotionally available.
More than looks, more than personality — a person’s emotional availability is one of the most important attractive qualities a person can possess.
And it really made me think. Because let’s be honest…for a long time…I haven’t been emotionally available.
Until recently, I have been completely shut off to letting anyone even remotely near my heart. Emotional access = denied.
And in that moment, I realized that this is something that doesn’t ever get talked about in recovery circles, when it comes to eating disorders or other forms of trauma.
Especially with anorexia recovery, there’s this preconceived notion that as soon as the weight gets put back on, that everything should resume to “normal,” with no traces of disordered thinking ever present again.
Like, *BAM* you’re fixed!
That couldn’t be further from the truth. And it is especially evident in relationships.
I’ve been in this recovery space for almost 10 years now — yikes. BeautyBeyondBones has been named one of the Top Three Eating Disorder Recovery Blogs on the web, the past three years running. And not only that…I’m living it.
So, although I don’t have PhD or “title” to back me up, I feel I have a bit of authority when I say, that there’s a gaping hole in information about the effects of recovery on relationships. And more specifically, one’s emotional availability.
Allow me to open up for just a moment.
Dating has always been a very difficult area of my life. Not for lack of options, but rather, for keeping men at arm’s length.
In terms of recovery timelines, this is the absolute last area to be healed, because in order to be fully open, honest, and vulnerable with another person, you have to first make peace with those things within yourself.
In other words – you can’t be open about something you haven’t personally come to terms with, first.
Which is precisely why, in my past dating life, as soon as a guy would get really serious, and we’d get to that point where we’re sharing our history, and tearing down those emotional walls — I’d always hit that one specific impenetrable wall – the one that exposes my history of anorexia, and the accompanying baggage that goes with that – and all of a sudden, I’d run, and end things with great men who, frankly to this day, don’t know what they did “wrong.”
(Hint: Nothing. In this case, it really “wasn’t you, but me.”)
But I wish there would have been a handbook out there — a resource — that would have clued me into how difficult, and frankly, emotionally devastating that aspect of recovery would be.
And how emotional vulnerability is something that needs specific attention and work, along with patience, grace and time.
All of that to say — if there is one thing that I would tell myself, back in 2007, when I was starting recovery, it is this:
You are not damaged goods.
Recovering from anorexia — which, at least in my case, could also be called lethal perfectionism — left me with so much shame about my past.
So much guilt for the pain I inflicted on my loved ones. So much shame for the choices I made that destroyed my body, my future, my relationships, my health, my life.
I carried that shame, well into recovery — believing that the anorexia was a permanent stain, not just on my medical record, but on me, Caralyn…as a person.
And so I did what I learned to rely on in my disease: being emotionally unavailable.
Hide that part of my past from absolutely everyone.
If only I knew, that brokenness, is what made me truly loveable.
Because that brokenness, is precisely the access point where Jesus was able to capture my heart.
And it is that brokenness that made me who I am today.
It’s not a “stain.” Sure, it was a difficult season with immense suffering and pain – but to allow that to completely derail my relationships, my future, my present — that, would be the real tragedy.
I just think back, at the scared, recovering young girl, who was petrified of anyone finding out the imperfect past I kept hidden away.
Remembering how emotionally exhausted I’d be, suppressing the real me – “stains” and all.
I am not damaged goods. And neither are you.
Emotional availability. That’s what I’m personally praying for for myself, and for you. Because, as I’m currently finding out, life is so much better when you let people in, and share the real, imperfect you.
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“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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107 responses to “Emotional Availability”
When there are no resources for what you need…there are no resources for all the other people in your situation. Go out and create that resource. Who would really be better about talking about it than you? Isn’t it time there’s a sequel to Bloom? It was only after my first book that I realized there was a gap in resources for partners of pornography addicts. So I did my research, found a writing partner with some expertise different than mine, and created it. You’ve got so much light and advice to give that this could absolutely be your next step. Just food for thought.
Thanks Joshua for the encouraging words! Yes! That’s exactly why I wrote my book! A sequel!! What a great idea!! I love that! And congrats on your books! You’re right – there’s a need for sure! Grateful for you and your positive kick in the pants! Hahah 🙂 but seriously! Have a great night! Hugs and love xox
As usual you have made me think.
Thank you so much 🙂 I’m so glad it gave you something to ponder 🙂 hope you’re having a beautiful night! Hugs and love xox
Thanks for sharing! It’s a great prayer because I think it’s gotten worse with phones. Did you know an average person touches his phone nearly 80 times a day? 80! – not a typo. We are constantly checking for texts, likes on social posts, Youtube video notifications, and our own problems… that we forget there is someone closer who just wants our undivided attention for a short time. We stopped becoming emotional available and it’s so sad that way. 🙁
Thank you so much! Oh my gosh 80! Is it sad that I thought that was a low estimate for myself?! Eek! You’re right. It really is sad. Hugs and love xox
XOXOXO. I’m not blaming anyone at all. After all, there are plenty of legitimate reasons, but there are just as many times when it is symptomatic of our self absorption. Don’t feel bad. 🙂
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Beautifully said. I did the same thing~no, not with anorexia, but with other trauma. We are not broken ~but “pieced “ and put together through the love of our Heavenly Father indeed. Our lights shine through our brokenness. And yours is shining bright beautiful young lady. God bless you! Love and hugs. ❣️💚🤗🙏🏻
Thank you KL, I really appreciate this beautiful response. I absolutely love that – pieced together by our loving Father, indeed! hope you have a great night! hugs and lots of love xox
You too sweet lady! God has such an amazing plan I’m your life~look how he’s using you! This middle-aged MO gal adores you 🤗❣️😉 you have a great night too!
🙂 xoxoxo 🙂 🙂 🙂
Carolyn
I believe you may have just discovered the key
The initial step one of honestly admitting liberates and the path through opens
Congratulations 🎉
Thank you Jeff – that’s such a powerful point. it really is the key! glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
I too have been unavailable and no longer want to be
it’s a freeing thing, to let others in! Praying for you!
Beautiful ❤️ Love how you are using your story as the bridge to freedom for so many others!
Hi Hilary! Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. means a lot 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Amazing! Grateful to God for your life and where you are. May He complete the great work He has started. Thanks for being transparent.
Thank you so much Lohluh! yes! me too 🙂 i’m very grateful for the journey He’s brought me through! Hugs and love xox
Caralyn, being in a state of brokenness is certainly a good thing Scripturally. God says in 1st Peter 3:4 how much He treasures a woman with a meek and quiet spirit. God gave Himself (in Christ) for us when we were our absolute worst–see Romans 5:6-8. You are not damaged goods. God has and is making you a very special woman. I hope God will bless you with a man who loves you, but even more importantly, a man who loves Him! 😀
Hi Joseph! thank you so much or sharing this powerful reflection. i appreciate you sharing those Scriptures with me! Hugs and love xox
Being emotionally available is a daily habit I have to practice. You have to choose carefully who you share it with, but yes absolutely to the fact that it must be shared. Recovery is hard. There’s no two ways about it as you very well know, but stoic expression and language are many times where we default. May the Father empower us to shed that curse the same way He got rid of the addictions. One day at a time.
Thank you so much 🙂 You’re right – we have to be very choosy about who we let in, for sure! amen – one day at a time! Hugs and love xox
Until recently? Does that mean you ARE opening up, becoming available? I surely hope so!
I think you should write another book; this one on Emotional Availability. You filled one resource gap with Bloom; how about another? Google the topic, find as many sources as you can, then lay out some chapters on the topics. Whether it’s the books or screenplay I’ve written or just a speech, I always think in terms of creating a Path of Discovery. EA is a topic I think would lend itself to that. It could be series of personal stories augmented by the research you could do for it. I’ll bet you could develop “steps to opening up” much like psychiatrists have already identified stages of grief. Document what you’ve accomplished personally and lay out what you’ve learned intellectually but still have to internalize.
It’s not like you don’t have any time on your hands, right??
As a public speaker, this could be another presentation to follow what you did here. If you think it’s worth developing, would you be open to a second round here at CTK? Theoretically? When things settle down?
“That brokenness, is what made me truly loveable.” That’s why you have 45,000 readers. You’ve been open about your PAST brokenness, and people respond to that honesty. So will some lucky guy!!
Hi Jeff!!! yes it does! 😉 and thank you for this encouragement! i’ve actually been throwing around the idea! (I should have used the time in quarantine to write one, but I was too busy trying to survive hahah) but seriously, that is so encouraging, thank you. a path of discovery — i like that so much. and absolutely! I would be SO TOTALLY DOWN for another round at CTK! 🙂 I’m so touched by this note, Jeff. You’re a great friend. Thanks for always being in my corner. 🙂 hope you’re having a great week. Sending big hugs and love to you and your girls! xox
I’m glad you’re thinking about doing a book. Doing some research would help organize your thoughts. Don’t think so much about writing as learning first. That’ll help you organize and formalize your thinking. YES! When travel becomes viable again we can revisit this, decide what you should talk about, then I’ll pitch it to pastor. Hopefully you’ll have something on EA in hand! And…reading this tonight, well, how do I say this; I’m very gratified that you let me in a bit starting years ago. Looking back, it seems now that that was probably hard to do with a complete stranger. Thank you!
That’s a great idea – organization is keyyyy! and gosh, your friendship made it easy! Have a great Monday!
You too!
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Even people we look up to and feel they have it all together carry baggage of some kind. We as human beings are very good at concealing that from each other and for some reason don’t want people to know we are vulnerable. So it’s very refreshing to come to a blog page like this and find someone who is prepared to be honest about themselves. Knowing everyone carries baggage should come as a comfort to you and show you are not uniquely impacted though the levels of impact do make it harder to deal with when severe. The key to healing is to first recognize what has shaped us and then it is in our power to aim for the best life has to offer and realistically know while it’s a goal we may have to settle with something less and be happy with what we have. I think you hit the nail on the head here. You are drop dead gorgeous and I know you could have had many men trip over themselves to try and make you their life partner. So knowing that it really is up to you to decide if you are prepared to make a match with someone of your choice you are sure will respect and love you. And if you decide you are not willing to take the risk that’s OK too. Continue to be joyful as you are.
Thanks so much for this encouragement, Ian – you’re right – everyone carries something. I really appreciate your generous words – you’re right – recognizing what has shaped us is the key to healing! gosh, i’m truly touched!!! thank you!! 🙂 you’re a great friend! Hugs and love xox
Pretty sure I’m not alone in saying as one of your readers that we love you already, exactly as you are!
Bruné Brown has amazing stuff written on vulnerability, and the courage it takes.
oh my gosh, Anna – i am so touched 🙂 thank you my hear friend!! i’ll have to look up some of Brown’s work! thanks for the recco! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
God is always in your heart. This quote from Julian of Norwich says it all:
“This vision was shown me to teach me – as I understand it – that it is necessary for everyone to feel in this way: sometimes to be comforted, and sometimes to feel failure and be left to oneself. God wants us to know that he keeps us equally safe in joy and in sorrow, and loves us as much in sorrow as in joy. And for the benefit of his soul a man is sometimes left to himself, although sin is not always the cause; for at this time I committed no sin for which I ought to be left to myself. Nor did I deserve to have the feeling of bliss. But our Lord gives freely when he wills, and sometimes allows us to be in sorrow and both come from one love. For it is God’s will that we keep ourselves, in good spirits with all our might, for bliss lasts forever, and pain passes and will come to nothing, therefore it is not God’s will that we should be influenced by feelings of pain to sorrow and grieve over them, but quickly pass beyond them and hold on to the endless joy that is God almighty, who loves and safeguards us.”
We are all occasionally surprised by Joy. This is joy bringing you out of grief.
oh wow, what a beautiful beautiful quote! God’s will is a powerful thing. and so is joy! thanks so much for sharing that, and for stopping by! hope you have a great night! Hugs and love xox
Hi, it is in you to proceed with your life and your writing and all of your combined pursuits. You have a good chance of feeling accomplished in what you do.
I appreciated being reminded in tonight’s post of yours about the success of your blog, for the last three years running. The emotions your blog usually speak to have a consistent resonance about them.
It is part of the charm of reading you, and so is the grip on the disorder you have, and, naturally, your investment in the peace you’ve won for yourself, through your service to Christ.
Thank you so much Odell, for this wonderfully encouraging note. Thank you – Christ has brought me though it – I wouldn’t have my recovery or my life if it weren’t for Him!! How grateful am I!!! So glad you stopped by! big hugs to you xo
See this is why the beauty goes beyond the bones, it goes to the heart, the core of our being. Our trust in God, and our ability to make that trust a very deep part of who we are. Some guy will come along, in the right moment, and the sharing of your heart will come as naturally as breathing.
It wasn’t them, and it wasn’t you exactly either. Our Guardian Angels, and the Holy Spirit have a role in all of this too. Keep praying Miss Caralyn. <3
Oh my gosh Teri you are too kind. Thank you so much for this beautiful response. Amen – prayer is where it’s at, and I do trust that!! Hugs and love xox
That’s why I liked that movie Silver Linings. They were both kind of messed up. Maybe one day you’ll find your Bradley Cooper. Or, he’ll find you I guess.
Haha That was a great movie!
What stops you from committing to movies like that? It seems, like a very relatable character.
Dear Carolyn,
I think there is still some kind unsolved problem in you. It seems that all your experience you had to make when you went through this suffering time of your eating disorder that it left traces of great fear in you. My friend, you have to start to put so much trust in yourself that this kind of wound in you will not always open whenever it comes to a close contact with a man. It can be healed when you let this time go – it is passed – you are now a person who has overcome this terrible disease, but still this fear accompanies you. Let it go, my friend – try to live in the presence and leave the past time behind you. This will surely help you. I know this from my own life when I had to go through difficult times too. It is like having a fear before the fear is coming, to fear the fear, the suffering which reminds us again and again of the past. It is good that you look into yourself and analyze it why you keep men at an arm’s length. It is an inner conflict you have to fight with yourself. It is necessary as you also wrote, to make peace with yourself, to transform the hidden fear into courage. Your own self-analysis will help you to find a way out, just take the next step and face your own insecurity, which is hidden in you and always appears in certain situations.
I wish you much power and strength to overcome this fear – just be you, a flower in the garden of God 🙂
May God pour His shower of grace over you and your family.
Hugs and love
Didi
Thank you so much for this powerful response. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought here. Amen – live in the now and leave the past behind. That’s a great piece of wisdom right there thank you 💛 yay for flowers in His garden! Love ya Didi! Xox
Welcome, my dear Caralyn – we all are in the making and mostly we learn from own experiences, even when have to swallow bitter medicine – this all makes us stronger. Have trust in God and take Him in your heart wherever you go, my friend – you will never be alone and He will protect you.
Love you too, – stay safe and healthy 🙂
Hugs and love
Didi
amen to that! xoxoxo
it is about fear of rejection, and also accepting our flaws. We are raised to pretend we are these perfect shiny things… no one is, no one will ever be. ripping down statues applies, we have imperfect lives, we do things we regret that when we look back we think “how could I do that?”, honesty is the best thing, it takes courage, in reality it does not, easy for me to say, but in reality, logic, we are all faulty, we have to embrace our frailty, because we are all broken, we all fail, but think of the billions of humans before us, we just have to be who we are, lay yourself out, because at the core you are a good person…. a perfect person? no, no such person ever existed, we need to embrace our failures and share them.
Thanks so much David for sharing this powerful perspective. Yes! Embrace our failures – that’s terrific advice. Hugs and love xox
Great post and thank you for being so courageous in sharing your story. It is a beautiful thing when we are emotionally available and often times we judge ourselves harsher than what others would. 🙏
Thanks so much Jason! You’re right about that – a beautiful thing indeed. Hugs and love xox
Those walls we build keep many things at bay dear lady, especially the most painful ones. It is just a coping strategy, like all those many other things in our lives. We are brought up very, very individually with many differing aspects around us, but the one thing in common we all have is that emotional wall to protect us from whatever.
And it takes a long and well lived life to break them back down so that in the end we are truly free because we have faced those fears and understood why we built them in the first place. We are only children with very immature emotional handling capacities when these fears are built and the only thing we can do is build that wall. Its like when you see a child who does not like what someone is saying to them, they stick their fingers in their ears and say (very loudly),…nah, nah, nah nah. But as adults apparently this isn’t cool 😂
That is the building of that wall.
You will face that inner place my friend because in doing so you will find something wonderful, something so powerful to be beyond words…and the love you will discover will make all that went before seem but a dream.
Take heart, be strong and have a faith that all of these things that seem so mean and horrible are in fact the making of this very beautiful thing. You cannot make a cake without first breaking an egg. You cannot become a beautiful loving person without first understanding what it is to go through our fears and its consequences. And after enduring so much pain you will see that truth imprinted on your heart, and the opening it has created to something that can never be broken, a freedom and love that will give so much meaning to what went before 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
You’re so right Mark – a coping strategy. And oh wow I love that – you can’t make a cake without breaking an egg. That’s my favorite thing I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you for this wonderful encouragement. Hugs and love xox
This is beautiful and honest. You’re well on your way to being emotionally available with a post like this!
Oh gosh thank you so much Amy, I really appreciate your kind words! I hope so! Hugs and love xox
Well said
Thank you friend! Hugs and love xox
Well Caralyn it seems that these online videos, etc., do have some pretty good advice occasionally OR maybe they always had the answers, but no one really thinks to take them seriously.
I like your post.. It is well written, comes from the heart. I guess with this blog, you get to bear your soul to quite a wide audience; giving immortality to your words and ideas.
As in Biblical times, “He who has ears, let him hear.”
Makes me wonder why we in our modern world make ‘falling in love’ so complicated.
I guess that is probably why we like fairy tales so much. If you think about it, in the time that those tales were written, back in days of old, we did not have the right to decide whom we loved. We were told to by our peers, our elders. Princes and Princesses were married as ways to form alliances, etc. It had nothing to do with Love. I guess back then loving your spouse came not from the first romances, but more from spending every moment with that person; accepting them for whom they were.
I guess that is probably why in the Indian subcontinent, it is still a practice today; with certain twists.
In our modern time, we want that “Love at First Sight” moment. We want that fairy tale romance and when we don’t get it, we separate. Relationships, marriage, Love, they don’t mean anything anymore. These days, you barely even know if someone says, “I love you.” whether that person actually means it.
Whether you get your info through the internet or divine inspiration or maybe just from a good book, it seems to me that when Caralyn finally meets Mr. Right, she will be completely and thoroughly emotionally available.
Thank you so much! You’re right – we make relationships so much harder than they need to be. What an interesting perspective. Thank you! Hugs and love xox
I absolutely loved this article! So spot on and was much needed by myself as well. All the best to you! God bless!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad it resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
Hey Igbo tech/STEM lady! When I’m not on my 9-5 I double as a travel consultant and a blogger in a multiniched sector. Travel, faith and lifestyle blog.
ijenlencha.com/2020/06/24/hon…
Awesome!
Lol. Thank you!
🙂 xox
Am also a blogger and I follow you, and thought I should reach out. Hope you follow me too ☺️
I wish you the best with your relationships; from what I have read when you talk about your parents, you have two great role models to emulate…
Thank you so much Jim! I really appreciate that. You’re right – two great role models indeed! I’ve been very blessed! Hugs and love xox
Hi, Caralyn,
“Because that brokenness, is precisely the access point where Jesus was able to capture my heart.” Thank you for such a gentle reminder that everyone who approaches the cross does so with some form of brokenness in their life.
As we grow in our relationship with God, we learn that it’s not our past that defines us; instead, it’s who we are in Christ Jesus. This is not to say that we should never reflect on the lessons we learned in our past, but never should we dwell on the mistakes. Satan, or the devil, wants nothing more than to keep our eyes focused on the rearview mirror of life as opposed to the open road ahead. However, we should never cling to the whispers of Satan; instead, we should always take hold of the power and authority of God’s word.
I congratulate you on your success in being named one of the top three eating disorder recovery blogs on the Internet. In time, Lord willing, I hope my site will have the honor of joining you and others in that class and rank. 🙂
Blessings,
Darryl Orrell
afaithfulsower.org
Hi Darryl, wow thank you for this wonderful response. Amen – when we approach the Cross, He takes our burdens and frees our hearts. I’m so grateful for your encouraging words. Hugs and love xox
I think the beauty of this blog, is you get to convey your growth and that speaks volumes. It is far better than someone who has not lived or come out of it. Although you may not have a PHd, you have your life experience. Walls are what we build and use to protect ourselves. When the right person comes along, he will unconsciously know how to take them down and you will unconsciously let him.
Oh my gosh thank you Jolie – you are very kind to say that. Yes – the school of hard knocks, if you will. 😉 that is very wise advice! Have a great afternoon! Hugs and love xox
Born again people owe no one any explanations. The past is gone because that person is gone. Let the new creation you are start living that way…
Yes! The old has gone, the new has come! What a beautiful truth! Thanks for the awesome reminder! Hugs and love xox
That lethal perfectionism is the one to blame!! 💝🙈
You’re right about that Yiena! Thanks!! Hugs and love xox
My pleasure dear! 💝💝
xoxoxo 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Well said! And I love the cat picture – classic!
Thank you so much! Haha yeah it’s fun! Hugs and love xox
Reading about NY, have you in my prayers.
Thanks H, I appreciate that!
Such a kind word to the guys you’ve encountered. Shows a lot about your heart, even if you are where you say you are.
BTW…my way of thinking is that being “damaged goods” is okay. God looks for those, and loves those. It’s the expectation we were all raised with – “look for the perfect person” – that’s the problem.
Thanks so much Brandon! I love that – God loves the “damaged goods” because then it lets Him “flex” His restorative muscles and show His strength! Have a great afternoon! Hugs and love xox
You are right. I am important.
Amen to that Amanda! You sure are! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
I am pretty sure we all have some emotional issues. Great topic! Like the book idea!
Thanks so much!! Yep we are all works in progress!! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Loved this line “You are not damaged goods.”
Thank you friend. Amen – we are not! Hugs and love xox
Availability is an issue that extends beyond the dating context. As a chaplain, I found praying with strangers particularly intimidating, but the whole idea of introducing myself to one person after another in an emergency room (or a psyche ward) rather overwhelming.
Wicks writes about availability as a spiritual dilemma: Wicks Seeks Availability Deepens Faith (https://t2pneuma.net/2018/05/08/wicks-seeks-availability-deepens-faith). This is one of the most helpful books that I have read.
The reason for having trouble being fully present is simply described as unfinished business or, at times, emotional hijacking. If you are really good at stuffing emotions, then they tend to pop up at unexpected times and to interfere with normal life and relationships. I often talk about a visit that I had in the ER with a young woman who had a spontaneous abortion. The visit went well during the first ten minutes, but pretty soon she was ministering to me, not I to her, as I began to relive a similar even that my wife and I had experienced, but never grieved. I got hijacked. Pretty soon I had to break off the visit and retreat to the chapel where I cried for half an hour. I normally do not cry much.
I suspect that your problem with availability is not only the hijacking, but perhaps a problem with repressed anger. Eating disorders have a social aspect. They are not just about a funny relationship with food. When talking with a psychotic patient hearing voices, I would frequently ask–do any of the voices have names? Our anger and our pains provide clues about what is important to us–follow the blood trail.
Blessings.
Thanks Stephen for this wonderful insight. I’ll definitely check out that link – thanks for passing it along. And you’re right – EDs have deep roots that are not related to food. That’s for sure. And wow what a powerful experience in the ER. Thanks for this! Hugs and love xox
An excellent post! Thank you for being so open about your challenges. The world needs more openness.
By the way, I’m in Canada so can’t use your Amazon.com link but would use one through Amazon.ca where I shop occasionally, if such a link exists.
oh you’re kind! I’ll look into it! thank you SO much!! 🙂
Thank you so much Steve! I really appreciate your support – means a lot! Hugs and love xox
Love this – been with my boyfriend almost six years and definitely the thing that brought us together was me being in the right emotional state. After two back to back heart breaking breakups, I took a year off dating to learn to love myself and it’s how I ended up finding love too!
Thank you so much for sharing that! Oh that’s so awesome! Isn’t it funny how life turns out sometimes!? Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox
Love this! “Your wounds are not your worth” – we’d all do well to remember that our past traumas do not define us. They are a chapter in our story but not the whole novel. The first thing I did when I found the man I love today was to tell him everything. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but I knew, in my heart, that he loved me unconditionally. And quite honestly if, after telling him, he decided to run – he wouldn’t have been the man for me anyway. Thankfully, he appreciated my trust in him and realized that he was in love with all the versions of me that have ever been because the version I am now – brought me to him. Elegant post – thank you for sharing!
thank you so much Lindsey! Amen! it sounds like you have a really special man in your life! that’s so beautiful! Hugs and love xox
Indeed, you are not damaged goods but transformed good and gold. When you are weak in His hands, then you are strong and in your weakness His strength is made perfect. May He give you the wisdom to know when and where and with whom be open. He who began this good work will bring it to a glorious finale. In His time He will make everything beautiful. Thank you for sharing this openly and encouraging others in the same boat. It is not over until He says so.
Thank you so much Fenny – your kind words are so appreciated! Amen – our weakness allows His strength to shine! Amen – He will make everything beautiful 🙂 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
I can agree in so much of what you writing about. The recovery is longer than many thinks, just becauce it includes all areas in life. And the area about finding yourself in love and emotionals can be a big box to go through. ❤
Thank you for putting words on this! ❤
Thank you so much!! i’m so glad this resonated with you 🙂 You’re so right – all areas in life! big hugs xox
Absolutely enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing ❤️
Aw thank you so much Melody! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Have a great day! Hugs and love xox