The Beauty Of Weight Gain – What I Learned from Gaining 35 Pounds

I stumbled across an old photo of myself yesterday.

It was from my senior prom, circa 2007. And right at the height — or rather, depths — of my battle with anorexia.

It took my breath away.

I was looking at an unrecognizable shell of myself. A gaunt, 78-pound girl, who was concealing her fear, her misery, her cries for help…behind a taut smile, and an isolated existence.

2007 vs 2020

And it was just a few weeks later that I would go on to be admitted to an inpatient treatment facility in Arizona.

Inpatient is not something I talk about a lot – frankly because, it’s uncomfortable. It’s like asking a drug addict to describe how the detox process was. Words seem inadequate, insufficient and just incapable of grasping the reality of the situation.

Sure, I could talk to you about how they removed all the mirrors from my make up compacts. (This was two-fold: a) because there were no mirrors whatsoever in the facility. And b) so that girls couldn’t use them as razor blades to hurt themselves.)

Or I could talk to you about how I had to sleep in a cot at the nurses station for the first 3 weeks, because they were afraid my heart would stop in the middle of the night.

I could talk about how they flushed the toilets for you. Or how some girls would hide rocks in their underwear to “game the system” to make their weigh ins heavier than they actually were. Or how there were grown women using coloring books like children to pass the time.

Like I said — words are inadequate.

And typically with my eating-disorder-themed blog posts, I like to keep them palatable. I’ll flirt with the line of discomfort…but I try to stay within the realm of “safe” for all readers.

But I think sometimes…especially for my audience of recovery warriors and loved ones, it is important to really “go there” and be blatantly honest.

And so tonight, I’m going to do just that. And I’d like to thank Reason Health for partnering with me on this post to tell my story.

I think for most people, when they think of recovering from anorexia…there’s almost a tinge of lust. Like…it must be nice to have to gain weight. Poor you, having to eat all the ice cream, pizza, and fettuccini alfredo you can muster.

They imagine something like a month-long binge of junk food with no working out, and lot of Netflix.

And while, sure…maybe it’s alluring to imagine the “luxury” of indulging in a surplus of calories, the truth of the matter is that, in eating disorder recovery, you’re actually relearning how to eat, and reestablishing a positive relationship with food, when…real talk: you’re terrified of it.

Allow me to break it down for you. They serve you the Standard American Diet. Every day, you have a choice of two menus…each meeting the nutrition requirement for an average adult. Three meals. Two snacks. And dessert.

So food wise, everyone is eating the same thing: teaching you that food is not to be feared. And your body is getting used to proper portion sizes, how to feel okay with fullness, recognizing hunger cues, and frankly, tackling “fear foods.”

The weight gain – comes in the form of supplements. They don’t want you to associate a “normal” meal plan with gaining weight. That comes from supplementary drinks.

And here’s where things break off into two different tracks.

You could choose to receive these supplements through a feeding tube you had to wear (aka — it goes down your nose and into your stomach) for the three months you were there. Or, you could choose to drink the supplements.

I chose the latter.

If I was going to gain weight — damn it, I was going to be the one to put the dang calories in my own dang pie hole. It was my way of saying “F-you” to the eating disorder.

And so I did. We drank these medicinal-tasting weight gaining drinks called Ensure Plus.

Many of the women would gripe about this drink — not merely because of the unpleasant taste, but because of the ingredients. The first four ingredients were corn maltodextrin, sugar, corn/canola oil and water. Food fears aside, we didn’t want to be rebuilding our bodies with the #1 genetically modified food – corn!

Because to consume enough calories to gain weight and rebuild my organs and muscles — I was consuming three Ensures a day.

This is where my partner in tonight’s post comes in.

I was contacted by Reason Health earlier this month, because they have created a high calorie Nutrition Beverage that honestly, I wish would have been around when I was restoring my body back in 2007.

Reason Nutrition Beverage!

It was developed by Dr. Dhagash Joshi to help cancer patients gain weight, and people with anorexia restore their bodies through healthy, easily absorbable nutrition.

I actually got to talk to him on the phone this last week, and learning about his product, I knew I had to share it on the blog. As you know, I very rarely endorse products. But this is something I know I would have genuinely benefitted from during my weight gaining journey.

Today, healthy, happy, and full of life!

The thing about Reason Beverages that I was so intrigued by was their ingredient list. Instead of corn syrup and corn oil, it uses wholesome, all-natural (and non-GMO) macronutients — namely: coconut oil.

Here’s the amazing thing: the Medium Chain Triglycerides (MCTs) found in coconut oil are not only super easily absorbed, but they also trigger in your body a response that increases your appetite. This is obviously terrific for anorexia patients, but also cancer patients who often lack the desire to eat.

Everything about this drink intrigued me. The fact that it uses the best source of milk in the world: cows from Holland. There’s no corn-syrup in sight. It’s high protein. No artificial sweeteners. A bountiful 450 calories. And it tastes great.

Reason Nutrition Beverage!

My gentleman friend was over for dinner the other night, and he tried both the strawberry and vanilla flavors, and gave it two thumbs up!

So I wanted to just pass that information about Reason Health along to you. They’re available online at reasonhealth.com. Nutrition supplement drinks were how I put on over 35 pounds. And I truly wish this would have been an option for me at that time. I know it would have greatly benefitted my recovery journey.

To bring this story full circle, I wanted to just take a moment to reflect on what such substantial weight gain has meant for me.

Because let’s be honest: to go from 78 pounds to a healthy weight range — where I am menstruating, and active, and living a full, abundant life — I am a completely different person, both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

I not only gained nearly half of my body weight, but a profound perspective that I am incredibly grateful for.

When I was so severely sick and malnourish, weighing myself every. single. morning, my life was dictated by the tenth of a pound shift I would see. It was an obsession. My entire existence was ruled by the numbers on the scale. And the lower it plummeted, the lower my self-worth tanked, and I became increasingly incapable of being in sound mind and judgement.

Through my eating disorder, I was restricting myself from living. I was thwarting myself from thriving. From loving. From growing in faith. From my future. From blossoming into the woman God made me to be.

Healing my mind and nourishing my body in recovery has allowed me to truly bloom.

There is beauty in weight gain. I want to say that loud and clear to all my readers who are terrified of that thought, but who so — like myself at that time — desperately need.

When I was in such a malnourished state, I was missing out on life. I was exhausted all the time. I lacked the energy and motivation to do anything other than sleep or lust over food. I withdrew from my relationships, in avoidance of situations involving food. I was infertile and not menstruating. Cold all the time. I was truly frightful: gaunt, skeletal, dull and gray skin, with no life behind my eyes. All of my hair fell out. I was obsessed with food. Truly. I had no personality anymore, because being fun takes energy, and energy comes from calories. I mean, I didn’t genuinely smile or laugh for nearly two years.

I was lifeless, in every sense of the word.

To think that I was unwilling to let go of that hellish existence for fear of gaining weight….it breaks my heart.

If only I would have known the life that was waiting for me, in a properly nourished body.

A life of friends. Fun. Health. Joy from social interactions, and cooking, and shared experiences. A life where I enjoy filling out clothes, and having the strength to run, and ride bikes around the city. Where I’m goofy, and funny and have that zest for life and sparkle in my eye. Where I can love the woman God made me to be — and the beautiful, healthy body that reflects He who made me. I can be fully Caralyn.

That‘s life.

That’s living. That’s the beauty of weight gain.

That’s the beauty of recovery.

And that’s what I’m grateful for today, and every day.

And thank you again to Reason Health for partnering with me, and for offering a healthy way to get back to a normal weight with their Reason Nutrition Beverage.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

TAKE ME TO THE B³ STORE!

A huge shoutout to Reason Nutrition Beverage! Their all-natural, high calorie drink is not only delicious, but it has no “garbage” in it! Utilizing the wholesome goodness of coconut oil, it’s a phenomenal option for those needing to gain weight in recovery, or for those simply looking to supplement their diet with convenient and fast nutrition. Check them out!

A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

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144 responses to “The Beauty Of Weight Gain – What I Learned from Gaining 35 Pounds”

    • Thank you Jeff. That really means a lot. It’s been a journey!! Hugs and love xox

  1. Thank you for sharing your raw and vulnerable post with us. I never ended up at an inpatient facility at age 13, but I was pretty close. At 98 lbs and a size double zero, my fingernails were blue, I was wearing hoodies in the middle of summer, and my period stopped. I was sent to my pediatrician where he made my parents make me eat 3 meals a day. They had to take photos and record what I ate everyday. It was embarrassing, and I gained 30 lbs in a month. A MONTH.

    One thing that really stood out was how they fed you the Standard American Diet in inpatient. I noticed that your current diet is far from SAD. If anything, we would all benefit from a clean eating lifestyle like yours. I think the issue with weight issues stems from the root problem, that is, what we’re eating. Majority of Americans (and Canadians) live on the Standard American Diet (SAD).

    • Thank you so much Hilary for such wonderful encouragement. I’m sorry that you can so personally relate. Wow – what a journey you took – thank you for sharing your story. Yes – it is definitely interesting to examine – from a healthy place – the choices they made at inpatient. Definitely some food for thought – no pun intended. I’m so glad you’re thriving and have found freedom! Cheering for you my dear friend. Hugs and love xox

    • Quite a journey indeed. Thank you so much for your support. God is good. Hugs and love xox

  2. My reaction tonight really isn’t about the issues of weight gain for someone with ED. It has more to do with Reason Health reaching out to you. I think there’s a real lesson there for your readers who have suffered from ED or are still fighting for their recovery.

    You described your inpatient experience tonight, and I heard you live here in Memphis when you came to speak at my church. It was pretty scary. I remember you saying that you were the worst case that facility had ever seen! So who would have expected that skeletal girl, standing naked and shivering before the intake staff to become a foremost blogger in the world, sought out by other podcasts and now this weight recovery company?

    Not every ED sufferer who reads you will have that same success, but they have the opportunity to have some sort of success, some sort of mission that God has prepared, big or small. Hopefully, they will look at you and at least see that everyone has a future. They just need to survive, recover, and discover what that future is.

    And the same can be said for us all. I’ve had to recover from ruin and severe health problems. And everyone is recovering from something. Maybe that’s an article for you – doing the next right thing enough times to crawl out of the hole and become what God intended. 🙂

    • Wow Jeff, I am so touched by your incredibly kind words. Thank you, my dear friend. You are so right – we all have the opportunity to change our lives and help others do the same. We have the opportunity to cheer others on along the way – because we’re all journeying towards the same goal: Heaven. We’ll all have our challenges, but what a beautiful thing that we can all help and encourage one another along the way. I know personally you have been that for me, and for that I am so grateful. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. And yes! I was thrilled to work with Reason because I truly stand behind their product wholeheartedly. It’s a great product which is doing great things. Big hugs to you and your girls!! Xox

  3. I am sure your willingness to share all that you have been through saves lives. The supplement seems like such a simple,sensible effective idea.

    New York has been through so much also and come out the other side. I was listening to your governer say today that the wearing of masks would/ would have saved 40000 lives. I love that you proudly sport your mask when you are out and about. It is often the simple things which are the most effective. I spent a small fortune on masks this week.

    • Thank you so much 🙂 yes! The supplement is a terrific product. I stand behind them 100%. I would have appreciated it had it been around! And you’re right! Masks are so important. The photo today with Reason – my mask is in my purse! Haha I just took it off for the photo – but you’re right, it’s the little things! So glad you stopped by! Have a beautiful weekend! Big hugs! Xoxo

  4. I appreciate how you call B3 a ministry.

    At first read, I was a little taken back when I realized (mid-story) that you were advertising something. But then I remembered you NEED to do these things to support your blog ministry, AND these Reason shakes must be good or you wouldn’t vouch for them.

    Many are undoubtedly inspired by your story. Keep going, sister!

    Blessings.

    • Thank you so much David, that really means a lot. You’re right – and plus I wholeheartedly support their product! I’d mention them for free honestly. Sending big hugs!! Hugs and love xox

  5. Cheers to your health and happiness, Caralyn! Thank God you got through it, now living such a vibrant, rich life. And sharing your story, which helps so many others! Thank you!🌷

  6. What an amazing story. I’m a healthy girl, but I sometimes am tempted to eat less just Until my tummy is flatter. I dream of being a therapist for teens within the church who need help, and this post has encouraged me to keep dreaming. I would love to one day allow someone the means to recover in the way that you have recovered.

    Keep preaching sister!

    • Thank you so much Lou – I really appreciate your encouraging words! What a beautiful dream to help those teens. I love that. Cheering for you in that 🙂 sending hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Immanuel. I really appreciate your support. Yes! I certainly will! Can’t wait to read it! Hugs and love xox

  7. Thank you for sharing your story with us Caralyn. I always look forward to your posts! They are always so honest and real. Thank you for maintaining that honesty and transparency! God bless you greatly! Thank God for your health! Thank God that He turned your ashes into beauty! Who would have thought that your pain would turn to a gain! Thank God indeed! Your story inspire me and spurs me on! It makes remain grateful for my story even the pain. I am encouraged that it will work out for me in the end. Lots lot love Caralyn! God bless you.

  8. Wow!!!! LOVE this post!!! Don’t worry about making people uncomfortable – life can be uncomfortable … good to see truth!

    You look so incredibly healthy now!!! How insane is that?? You are older than you were – but look way more full of life and young in your face now!!

    It is an issue that absolutely needs to be addressed because even my daughter at 13 almost 14 is hitting that age where she’s comparing herself!!

    I would curious if you be willing to write a post about? It might be painful though? But what made you take that course in life? When did you notice it appearing? What was the point where you turned to that?

    One story … the Karen Carpenter story… really hit me… it took her life.

    I love this post because was real and raw with a pertinent issue that still happens today.

    I love that you bring attention to this issue. It can take your life – we are not defined by bodies or body image. … or color or whatever else ✌️

    I am glad you had the strength to get through that and get better – we are now blessed with you… and by sharing you are enlightening ❤️ that’s important …

    You look incredible!! Take care ✌️😘

    • Thank you so much for your wonderfully kind words and support. I know! it’s starting younger and younger. I actually do go into the origins, and how it took hold in my life in my video: https://youtu.be/aeM7o0IeMZk — but to answer your question, i could see traces of the perfectionist mindset start to set in during my child acting carreer when I was 7 – but the actual eating disorder set in when I was a sophomore/junior in high school. Yeah, Karen Carpenter’s story is so tragic. Very touched by your kindness, thank you so much. big big hugs xox

      • Wow! That was powerful!! They should have you doing that at high schools around the country! (Well when we don’t have corona)

        Love your story!! Thank you for sharing that!! ❤️ stay strong!! Big Hugs 🤗 to you too!

  9. Very courageous article. Thanks for sharing and letting people have a glimpse in a world that is quite different. Proud of you for coming through and flourishing. Remember, our strength is not enough by itself. When you rely on the power of God through His Son, anything is achievable. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
    ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭KJV‬‬
    https://www.bible.com/1/php.4.13.kjv
    .God bless you in every way.

    • Thank you so much Dennis – i really appreciate your kind words. Yes – God is good, and I thank Him for delivering me from that dark place. amen! love that verse. Hugs and love xox

  10. I love when you are open and share so truthfully and transparently about your battle with anorexia. It’s great to see the comparison of pictures and perspective. It’s a part of you, it allowed the light both in more and out in a greater way. A living testimony. So much love Carolyn ❤❤❤

    • aw, thank you so much 🙂 that really means a lot. You’re right – it shaped the person I’ve become today – it has been quite the journey indeed. i appreciate the encouragement! God is good, and I’m so grateful for this second chance! big hugs to you xo

  11. My dear Caralyn,

    I am so happy that you are now the person as you are: balanced, you have courage and strength even to cope new situations as you have become much stronger than 13 years ago. You are a young pretty lady, full of charm and many nice skills which I appreciate so much. Your journey to this present was not easy and the reminder that you have to fight for all you have achieved is now permantly anchored in you. You reached this goal by the sweat of your brow. For this all have my sincere respect and acknowledgement, my dear friend.
    Go on like this.
    Sending you much love and many warm hugs – just feel how happy I am with you 🙂
    Yours friend Didi

    • Oh thank you so much Didi, my dear friend. Yes! I am who I am today for having gone through that. And i am so grateful to God for this second chance. He is so generous to us. Thank you for the hugs! Sending some right back atcha!
      have a beautiful weekend!
      Hugs and love xox

  12. Great article Caralyn. Have a great weekend ahead. 🙂

    Oh how I love to eat. I cannot express it enough. LOL..
    Those 7 days of having nothing but water were absolute torture for me. I suppose like many people in this world and actually the complete polar opposite of what you need to do, is the fact that I need to lose weight.. not gain it.
    But it is important that if we do gain weight, we gain the right kind of weight. And if we need to lose it, we do that the right way too.
    But temptations are so great. All those delicious food.

    What i did learn on those 7 days was the biggest single key was discipline. Look at every one who has a body like Captain America or Wonder Woman and you’ll notice that they all have one thing in common – discipline. Every successful person has discipline – in whatever area of life you look at.

    I guess that I finally understand that song by Huey Lewis – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB5YkmjalDg

    LOL…

    • Thank you so much. What an experience that must have been. I cannot imagine. Yes – discipline is important! Hugs and love xox

  13. Wow! Your post is encouraging, and your words are true.
    I’ve battled with something similar to anorexia; although not as extreme. I did get to the point of weighing about 85 pounds and I did have a number of the symptoms of being anorexic. That was a few years ago though.

    The journey towards recovery has been good; sometimes scary, especially with the weight gain.

    Nevertheless, life is so much better when you don’t have to be obsessed with food and weight gain. I mean those things are not life at all. God created us for much better.

    I’m glad that you can boldly share your experiences and use it to encourage others who are going through similar experiences.

    Thank you! And thanks for endorsing the product too. It’ll surely be of help.

    • Thank you so much Oluwatomi! And thank you for sharing your story – I’m so glad you’re not in that place anymore. I’m cheering for you and the freedom you’ve embraced. Amen to that! We were created for more! Hugs and love xox

  14. Caralynn, I am so happy that you are now healthy in both mind and body. Your struggles were immense but you overcame them. You have such a gift from God to help others. Having the courage to tell your story will help many more. Thank you for sharing. Take care.

    • Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It truly means so much!! I’m very grateful for the second chance He gave me! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much 🙂 it was quite a journey – I’m grateful for His deliverance!! Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  15. Beautiful post! Your recovered self is exquisite – exactly how God created and intended for you to be. So thankful you let Him in to your soul, to draw you through recovery back to radiant life <3

    • Thank you so much Mindy – that truly means so much. Yes! I am grateful to Him for this second chance. He is so generous, and yes! A radiant life – what a powerful thought! I am humbled. We are all radiant in Him!! Grateful for you!! Hugs and love xox

  16. Hello!

    My name is Catia, I’m the co-founder of Eljemel.
    A new organic and sustainable beauty website.

    I know your audience values beauty, And I’d love to write a guest post if that’s ok with you that links back to Eljemel.com, I think it would align well with what you’ve been posting on your blog.

    Please let me know if it’s possible.

    Kind Regards
    Catia

  17. What a beautiful post Caralyn! Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. And the message that weight gain can be beautiful is necessary these days. I’m grateful for you!

    • Thank you so much Robin! I so appreciate your encouraging words. yes! God has brought me through a lot, and I’m so grateful for the second chance! 🙂 Awww – i’m grateful for you too! hope you have a wonderful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  18. Great post! Not sure I told you but in my late teens I almost developed bulimia where I would binge on junk food then take laxatives-I was obsessed with clean eating but would binge on junk food then purge myself.😒 But on a positive note, when Christ became real in my life and His word enlightened me, I was delivered gradually and the tenseness around food disappeared. 😇 By the way, you look adorable in the hat pic. Love from Miami!

    • thank you so much Giselle! and thank you for sharing your story – our relationships with food are so personal and can be so challenging. I can definitely relate. i’m so glad that you have found freedom from that! God is good, and I am so grateful for His deliverance too! sending big hugs! xoxo

  19. I am so appreciative of both what you share and how you share it. I love the authenticity with which you write, and the hope and peace that Jesus covers your story in is transferred through the screen as I read. <3

    • Aw thank you Tina, that brings my heart so much joy to know this hit home with you 🙂 amen! Yes! I’m so grateful for the generous second chance He has given me. We are so blessed! Hugs and love xox

  20. My mother suffered from anorexia before it was recognized by the health profession. She recovered, but in turn passed her own insecurities onto me. Definitely not to either of your extremes, but enough to have my own issues with food. Just know that your complete honesty on this subject matter helps many others who are struggling and recovering with eating disorders and body dysmorphia.

    • Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry that your mother had to endure that, and that this resonated with you. Thank you for your support. I pray that it does help even just one person. Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  21. Dear BBB, your honesty brought years to my eyes, and at the same time it brought out there true glory of God’s call on your life. Thank you for being the brave spirit that you are and living the life God has created for you. Bless you 😘

    • Thank you so much Linda, I really appreciate your kind words. I am so grateful for the second chance He gave me! God is good! Hugs and love xox

  22. Hi Caralyn. Thanks for sharing this information. You have really done a great job of fighting anorexia nervosa. I liked this reason health drink. I wonder if it’s available in India. Can you share email of Joshi. I would like to interact with him on this product. God bless you. Thanks for checking out my blog.

  23. congrats on your success in conquering your illness and I appreciate your willingness to share your journey with others. I wish you the best in your partnership with Reason Beverages!

    • Thank you so much Jim! I appreciate you support. Yes! I believe God allows us to endure things so we grow and can share with others!! To God be the glory! Big hugs to you! Hope you have a great weekend! Xox

  24. “I’ll flirt with the line of discomfort”…. don’t be such a tease (lol)… actually the discomfort is the best part, awkwardness, or things we ‘shouldn’t’ discuss are the best recourse… because we all have these things, the flaws, the mistakes, the edges, when one of us speaks up it helps others feel less alone and more human, so, thanks.

    • Thanks so much David. That’s such a powerful and interesting perspective! Hugs and love xox

  25. Your story is vital for others but your story is vital to understand for you God is working in you now to make just how he wants you to be now not later stay strong

    • Oh gosh thank you so much for such kind words. Yes! I am so grateful for His grace! Hugs and love xox

    • Oh gosh thanks Marjorie for saying that. It’s amazing what nutrition can do! Hugs and love xox

    • Oh gosh thank you Brad, that’s really kind of you to say. You’re right – those lessons we have to learn the hard way are the one that really stick! Hugs and love xox

  26. My heart goes to everyone who has to face this kind of hell. And you, you look beautiful and I am truly happy for you that you could leave this all behind you now.

    • Thank you so much – gosh I appreciate that. Yeah – I am so grateful for the freedom of recovery!!! God is good 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  27. Okay, I can take a recommendation for Reason and your reasons for recommending it, but don’t diss my Ensure! ;-)))) Post-stroke, I have really enjoyed it, but found Ensure Plus to be a little too heavy for me, although it’s creaminess was really nice. I just don’t need that many calories and regular Ensure is usually a little cheaper (said the skinflint).
    If I spot your Reason in a store sometime, I may try it out.
    love and prayers, c.a.

    • Hahah sorry about that CA! I guess it’s an acquired taste! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it! Yes – def give it a try 🙂 I’ve found it to be quite a treat! Keeping you in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

  28. I’m so happy you have fought your battle and overcome. You look so beautiful, full of life and vibrant.
    I know it means very little from a stranger on the Internet but I’m proud of you and want you to know how incredible you are for bringing yourself back from the brink. X

    • Aw thank you so much! I so appreciate your kind and encouraging words. I am so touched!!!! Yes! I am so grateful for this second chance 🙂 sending big hugs to you xox

  29. I don’t have anorexia, but your blog still speaks to me because there are other mental struggles that relate to this disorder. Great blog. The only one I read of all my subscriptions.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Gosh, I’m so touched that it resonates with you, Mistye 🙂 sending you so much love and hugs xx

    • Thanks Cortney, I appreciate you sharing your story. Yes there is!! Hugs and love xox

  30. I’m happy for you reading this. I’m glad you can share this now in a much better place. I also appreciate how you can use it to encourage and reach others. Just wanted let you know you’re doing a cool thing.

    • Thank you so much Courtney, I really appreciate that. I am also so grateful to be in a better place! Thanks for the encouraging words! Hugs and love xox

  31. I am so grateful that you used your time in recovery to actually recover. You are such a blessing to me and show us all that life is full and beautiful when you work through demons, surrender to God and trust the process. Thank you for sharing your heart with us ❤️

    • Thank you Lisa! Oh gosh thank you for saying that. Amen – God has given me a second chance and I literally owe my life to Him!! His grace is amazing!! And yesssss – trust the recovery process! It’s a long journey, but the destination is absolutely worth it!! Thank you for all your reading tonight! You’re a blessing to me! Hugs and love xox

  32. Hi, Carolyn. My college roommate seems to be suffering from an eating disorder. She weighs everything she eats, has most of her meals in the dorm, and will say things like “I’m starving!” And then walk to a cafe with me and only get a coffee. In addition, she’s looks like she’s lost anywhere from 10-15 pounds since coming here, and already was super slim. So now she’s starting to look almost skeletal. What do I do? I felt like saying something at a couple of points during the year, but didn’t bc I felt it wasnt my place. However, now that she is going home for the holidays, I feel like if her parents notice, she is far less likely to trust them than a peer. 🤷‍♀️

    • Also, I don’t know how to delete this comment, but I feel like I should repost it under a different name to protect my roommate’s privacy, if anyone who knows me reads this blog. 🙁

    • Hi Anna, oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that. Yes, sadly that definitely sounds like you’re seeing some red flags of disordered eating. It is very clear that you have a beautiful and kind heart, and you care about your roommate. This is a delicate situation, but truthfully, the timing of right now – with her going home, is actually the best place for her to be. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy, and the last thing it wants is to have to accountable to someone — which she will have to be in her home environment. Ultimately, her parents will (hopefully) help her get the help she needs. What *you* can do? I think just what you have been doing – keep engaging with her. Keep inviting her to meals, be a source of trust and support for her. She is obviously going through something, and you can be a huge blessing when she does get the help she needs and begins her difficult journey of recovery. Having a safe and trusted friend who cares for her will be just what needs! Thanks for asking – I will definitely keep her and you in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

      • Okay, thank you so much. I guess the only thing I can do now is pray as well 🙂. Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving this week.

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