“You don’t get a trophy for an unmedicated birth.”
I’ve heard that time and time again when I share with people that I want to have my daughter without an epidural.
But there’s a very specific reason that I want to have her naturally:
There are very few times in life when one will truly experience physical suffering.
Childbirth is definitely one of those times.
And it is my deep desire to experience fully that pain, so as to share in the suffering of Christ.
In fact, I want to unite it with Jesus’ suffering, and offer it as a form of prayer for a very specific intention that I hold deep in my heart.
At the end of the day, I want to birth a healthy, thriving young lady; and I am well aware that there may be circumstances outside of my control that will impact how my baby comes into the world — especially given the fact that she is in the 96th percentile.
But this is why I want to deliver without an epidural. I want to feel it. I want to embrace the suffering so as to feel a sliver of what our Savior felt on the Cross.
If you have any tips on unmedicated birthing, please leave them in the comments! 🙂 Thank you!
27 responses to “Why I Want an Unmedicated Birth”
God bless you, Caralyn! 🙏🏻❤️✝️
I’ve had 3 unmedicated births. My husband and I took a Lamaze class, which really helped. However, my longest labor was less than 7 hours. The best thing about it, was that after the babies were born the pain was over, and we were both fully awake. The breathing through the contractions really did work. Praying was essential. Do to having a different doctor for my 4th baby, I got an epidural. Pushing her out was harder, and I didn’t feel as strong. I was also induced, because my water had broken and I was impatient to begin labor. It took over 12 hours. My original doctor ,after my water broke around 10 in the morning , advised me to wait until I went into labor. My first pain was around 10 at night, and she was born at 4:34 a.m. the next morning. The next two were very similar. If I had to do it again, I would have waited for the last child, and refused the pain meds. I still got a beautiful baby the last time, but it was the longest and hardest labor.
Hmm. No way you’ll hear anything negative from the critics on this topic and reasoning, Caralyn. Haha…
Don’t take this as an attempt to change your mind; this is strictly your decision and I have no place in it. I’d like to throw some slightly/somewhat more theological factors into your thought process, if I may; with no suggestion you haven’t already considered it:
1) We don’t have to suffer like Christ did because he already did. That debt is paid.
2) Pain during childbirth was handed down as punishment for Eve’s actions in Gen 3.
Neither of these is intended to sway you from your chosen path; again, I think you should do exactly what you think is right for you, Stephen and your apparently-not-so-little-little one.
Cheers.
I agree with the sentiments here concerning theology. That being said, Caralyn, I completely understand the feeling of wanting to do an unmedicated birth. I have had four unmedicated births. (5th was medicated with an epidural and that went very well for me, too).
If you start to feel like you can’t do it or the pain is just way more intense than you imagined, that is so normal girl. I panicked during the birth of my first. Like, I mean, (sorry for the tmi here) I nearly put my hand down over my bottom area so that he couldn’t come out! Lol. I don’t mean at all to scare you, or dissuade you, but just want you to know it is very normal to be curious about what birth feels like but also that once you are in the middle of it, it is absolutely intense and do not feel bad for an instant if you change your mind and decide you want some pain relief.
I like to stand and keep moving during labor! It’s probably different for each woman, but since you are more active, I would think staying on your feet as long as possible would probably be good. Walk, sway, move around but don’t lay down on that bed until you absolutely can’t help it anymore. If you feel comfortable with it, you could push the baby out on all fours or even standing and leaning over the bed (I’ve done that). That being said, you kind of just have to figure out what feels most comfortable for you!
Thanks for asking for advice. I know obviously that you will read these and take it or leave it, but I feel like women like to talk about their experiences and it feels good to them to share, so thanks for asking anyway. 🙂
You can do it!! So excited for you guys to meet your little girl soon!
You look beautiful and I love your mindset! God will ensure your blessings! <3
Quite simply – breathe and focus. God will be with you! And I’ll be praying for you too. <3
I don’t know much about unmedicated birth. Both my kids were induced, so I had lots of epidural! If you can handle the pain and your choice, I say “more power to you.” Stay safe, healthy, and well. Best wishes for your family.
“Why are we suffering like this? It seems so without purpose,” someone in my family once asked. The reply quoted Colossians 1:24, “Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church.” Paul was referring to his sufferings as a result of his ministry to the Church. But, as mothers, we have the privilege of identifying, in a small way, with the sufferings of Christ as we suffer for the sake of our children.
Birth is truly holy work. And it is worth entering it with the beautiful attitude you express here. I am oh so very thankful for even the most difficult of my births, even the one that felt like it brought me to the very end of myself.
My advice: pray. Determine to consider it all joy. Surrender utterly and completely to our precious Savior.
Once you hold that sweet baby in your arms, it will be worth it all.
It helps to have very specific intentions in mind to list off and offer up moments for. It distracts from the pain.
Also, a tense machine is a good distraction without being medication. You click it when you feel a contraction and you feel a little buzz on your belly where the stickers are attached.
Here’s a blogpost I wrote for a friend having her first baby:
https://eastofcrazyland.com/?s=Giving+birth
Lots of experience there…I’ve had 10! 😉
It’s nice to have a blessingway before giving birth. Get together and pray for you and baby with your girlfriends and let them pamper you a bit!
Best wishes!
That was my goal. I lasted to 3cm and then told anesthesia I didn’t care if they paralyzed me putting it in. If they could have said this will last six hours and be over I might have been successful. It was the not knowing when it was going to end that messed me up. However number 3 I was at a ten when I had an epidural because my husband had not made it to hospital yet. They were rough.
I don’t know why people cop such an attitude about natural childbirth. If you can do it, you go girl. I will pray that this is your outcome and a safely delivered little girl. Peace Rachel
LaMas (sp?) breathing
I had three natural births. My labors weren’t terribly long, though. If they had been I surely might have asked for meds. My husband really helped me by leaning over me and helping me focus on breathing, giving me a number to focus on as I breathed that number of breaths. I kept telling myself that millions of other women have done this and by God’s grace I could, too. And that I knew it would be over soon and I could hold and meet our precious child. Having an unmedicated birth is a great goal but don’t feel like a failure if it doesn’t work out. Blessings, Caralyn!
I had four kids. The more you can relax, submit, completely surrender to the experience, the better it is. This is easier said than done of course! Breathing really helps. Anything you can do to force your body to relax so nature can take over is helpful. Our bodies are wonderfully and fearfully made, so if we let them work naturally they will do what they are designed to do.
I had long, painful labors, but some women actually have minor discomfort. We have a grandchild born in the waiting room because mom had an easy and brief labor. Everyone is a bit different of course, but I found the end part of labor, the actual birth to be far less painful than the contractions leading up to it.
As for Jesus, I think just being a mom helps to bring you closer to Him. Wait until you complain to Him about your parenting challenges and He’s like, “Yeah tell me about it, times millions of people, for centuries.”
You can do this! A woman’s body was beautifully made for this. I relied so heavily on my husband and mom for my first natural birth. They were my life lines. So I highly suggest having your favorite people on your birth team.
I’m a week behind you with my second and I’m preparing for this natural birth this time with syncing my breath with the Jesus Prayer.
You got this! It’s hard. It’s painful. But it is one of the only times you can say “this is my body, broken for you” alongside Jesus as you bring your precious girl into the world. It is so so beautiful!
Mother of five here, I did it both ways. It’s quite painful but using your body to work with the contractions will help. If you can do it it’s great, but if you give in and take something that’s ok too. When I did natural I was walking to the nursery in no time at all, I felt great. Saint Anne is the Patron Saint for women in labor, send some prayers her way.
I gave birth to both my kids without any medication. The second time was easier, I think because my body had already done it once! I listened to a lot of natural birth stories via podcast (Birth Hour podcast) to help mentally prepare myself for what to expect and remind myself that women do this everyday! It also helps you learn more about different things that could happen and what might help you cope.
Laboring at home until the contractions became difficult helped, too. It was a peaceful and comfortable environment for me. I had a doula the first time as well, for support. I did a lot of breathing through the contractions, worship music, hopped in the shower to help with back labor, counter pressure, standing/swaying or being on hand/knees (whatever is most comfortable), and not being afraid to make whatever crazy noises came out haha.
Just let the contraction wash over you and let go- your body knows what to do! for me it helped to not view it as suffering, because then you tense up. Whatever helps you to relax as best you can is best. You got this!! And if you need the help of medication, you still got it! Birth is hard work!
Have you considered giving birth in a midwife centered place instead of the hospital? They know more natural ways of dealing with pain. Also, remember the placenta is in front you mentioned. Some of your size is not the baby! Ultrasounds can also make the baby appear larger than it really is. Don’t let fear enter in. God will be with you every moment!
It’s been a while since I’ve commented on your blog, although I have been keeping up with your writing (congrats on the wonderful man, the beautiful wedding, the new home, and the impending baby girl! Think that caught me all up).
Now, with your delivery coming, and the want/wish/need for unmedicated. I have had four children (all girls, so much fun). The first three were unmedicated, and I didn’t have issues. The closest I had to medication, was with the first one, (30 years ago when I was 20 years old) where they gave me laughing gas with a mask that I had control over, I barely used it. The fourth was induced labor and I had an epidural (April 2004), sometimes, I can still feel the spot where the needle went into my spine. I know everyone has their own experience with it.
With all three deliveries, I felt everything and I wouldn’t change it for the world. There is something about feeling your body do what comes natural to it, physically manipulating the muscles to push out a new life.
Everybody, and every body, is different. Everyone has to do what is best for themself, not what is expected from society, not what “the norm” says you should do. You have to rely on what you want, have the discussion with your doctor (pros and cons to both with or without medication), discuss it with your husband. Make a “I’ll only be medicated if THIS happens” or “even if THIS happens, I don’t want to be medicated” type of agreement. But remember, you can ALWAYS change your mind. It’s amazing how quickly things can change (one day you’re planning a wedding, then you’re a wife).
In the end, pray for a good birth. He will help you through it. I believe that, with faith, He will help and guide you.
I am excited and waiting for the new baby post!
I ❤️ your thinking’
Funny, it seems only those who were drugged out of their minds and had every possible intervention during childbirth who complain about the pain and lack of medals. I think they are just projecting their regret onto the rest of us.
I had my first two perfect angels unmedicated, unassisted. The next was a crash c-section I had no say in. The fourth was an unmedicated vbac. I expected to leave the hospital each time with a healthy baby not an award.
Relax at home as long as you can with your husband keeping an eye on your behavior — he will be able to mark your progress by your breathing, perspiration, tone of voice and whatnot. Once your contractions are long and powerful enough that you start to feel a little panicky, it’s time to go to the hospital if that is what your plans are. When you check in, tell the nurses you’d like to be left alone and that you promise to call for help if you need it.
If your birthing center has a pool, try it. Get in there and rest up as much as possible until you are fully dilated. Then trust your body to do what God designed it to do. It’s kind of a waiting game until it’s time to push and you can actually participate.
Hi sweetheart!
I don’t personally have advise. I wanted to myself, have all natural birth but after 24 hrs of labor and still only dilated to 5, my doctor begged me to take the epidural and said that I’d help dilated faster. I was so completely exhausted by then that I broke down and took it. I think it must’ve been divine intervention though. When they tried to bring my son out, his heart rate plummeted and mine began to follow! My pelvice just never opened up birth and it was a mad scramble for an emergency C-Section to save us both.
However, my daughter-in-love had her 1st with and her second one without and declares that everything about the one without was in every way better and so much easier recovery!
My niece is about to have her 3rd child, all at home in a baby pool with a midwife, soft praise music and every one just so peaceful and natural. It’s beautiful!
And there is that saying….the greater the pain, the Deeper the love. 💕
My daughter just had a planned, unassisted birth at home. Really nice and no needles in the baby. Don’t let the hospital boss you around—they want to give your newborn shots. Forget that!
Good for you Caralyn. My wife went the same route with our first child and after 32 hours of labor we had our daughter. I was so proud of her for enduring the pain and realized how strong she was. After, she never regretted her decision and felt a true sense of inner strength.
I was induced because my baby was IUGR and my labor was around 21 hours. I will say the cervadil/pitocin contractions are super intense. I’m not sure how that compares to non induced labor. I ended up getting the epidural halfway through but it failed on one side! Thankfully the second one worked right for pushing time but I could still feel the urge. 😅 What got me through was prayer and having my husband pray, breathing very deeply and relaxing as best I could. I also made low moan sounds as I exhaled and that really helped. Swaying my hips and leaning also felt so much better than laying down (which I was forced into with epidural). Basically the thing that got me was how exhausting it was. Especially because I had just worked a full shift before I was induced. If you can get enough rest in early labor then that would probably help. No matter what kind of birth you have, Christ will be glorified and teach you many things if you submit it to Him. And you have the reward of your beautiful babe. ❤️ Praying for you Caralyn!
Praying all goes well! I only had one child, in 1982. I took Lamaze classes by a mid-wife. I honestly wanted a home birth and also naturally. But because I had heart disease as a child (rheumatic fever) she recommended to have her in the hospital. My husband faints at the sight of blood so he said he wasn’t going in with me. My Lamaze coach planned to be with me excepted for the week of April 28. My due date was April 4. I disagreed with the due date, I calculated April 11. My pregnancy was easy peesey. But I was huge. I was a Probation and Parole Officer. So I was in court every few days. The judge asked when was my due date as he preferred to not have a delivery in the court room! I worked until the day before she was delivered. I never went into labor! But my water broke in bed as I couldn’t get comfortable. I was tossing and turning. My husband worked until 9 pm so I was alone, went to bed early. We called my doc as soon as he got home-come to the hospital we were directed. We did, it still no labor. The doctor on duty wanted to induce me. No I said I want her naturally (what we called it). Plus I wanted my OB/GYN doctor, not the one on call. My doc came in at 7 am so I said I’ll wait. My doctor knew how I felt….
I never went into labor. They said I was now putting her at risk so he insisted inducing me. Finally labor started and it wasn’t bad! But then they said she was now breech. They turned me slightly back and forth to get her to turn. I was still fine, and then she turned! The anesthesiologist came in to check on me. I said I’m fine, no epidural for me. He said he was about to go into surgery so this was my last chance….Then it hit me like a knife slicing me open. I cried out….oh had I only endured like my Lord! I didn’t think of His pain, I just knew I didn’t want my daughter in distress so I let him give it to me. She literally popped out 10 minutes later! She was tiny, 6 pounds 10 ounces, but long, 21”. Healthy and she’s been as stubborn ever since. Here’s the saddest part, I said that was so easy, I want another one right away! My doc said wait 3 years to let my body heal. Argh, I regret listening as I was 27 and my biological clock was ticking. Three years later, our hard headed child was now so independent, I couldn’t imagine going through diapers again and I was up for a new job. So that was my last child, too. I’ve regretted it ever since. So I’ve preached to anyone who asked, or didn’t, have at least 2! Finally, my daughter was pregnant! Her first pregnancy was also easy as was her delivery 27 years later. So she was ready for a second one. Her husband only wanted one, but her first was so adorable and easy! So two years later, we three are back in the delivery room. But her second was very difficult so she had to have an epidural. He finally came out but she also had to be induced. He’s fine, my only two grandsons are now 8 and 10….
I forgot to add that the nurse grabbed my husband and said he HAD to be with me since my coach wasn’t there! When the doc saw him, he asked if he was ok, since he was white as a sheet! He had someone get him an orange juice-he had not eaten, it was 7 am. My husband said please add vodka to it! At least we all laughed! So guess who did the coaching? I had to coach him! But oh, when they put her on me, I took his hand and rubber her teeny fist-so grabbed his finger!!! And she’s kept him wrapped around her finger ever since. But he declined to join us in her labor and delivery room! I’m so blessed I was with her for both births!
So beautiful