I was listening to a talk the other day by Fr. Glenn Sudano, and it spoke to me so profoundly that I took on the task of writing this book. Allow me to recount what I took away from it.

We are all wounded. Each and every one of us have scars that remind us of our sufferings and shortcomings. They are part of who we are. And try as we may to cover them up, we shouldn’t – because they are beautiful.

Jesus endured the greatest suffering of all: the Cross. And when He rose again after the third day, He greeted His loved ones and showed them the scars on His hands where He had been pierced. Thomas even put his hands in the holes. His wounds weren’t infected, but glorious and glowing. They were a victory.

That’s how we need to treat our wounds. Are they infected or are they glowing? Our wounds are the signs of the suffering and trials in our life, and they need to be washed in His divine grace. We must allow His Light to shine out of them. For in our weakness, we are actually strong, through Christ. He suffered first, and won, thus allowing us to do the same.

Therefore, I am writing this deeply personal and oftentimes disturbingly honest account, revealing my wounds from the anorexia that ravaged my body eight years ago. I hope it offers insight into the insidious nature of the disease, so as to shed light on what your loved one is going through.

Through these words, I hope to expose the inner thinking of someone struggling with the disease. It’s what I wish I could have told my parents and loved ones at the time, but couldn’t. It’s what I wish they would have known. What I wish they would have understood.

I preface this, that this account is from when I was fully engulfed in my disease. My thoughts were not clean, nor pure. They were dark. Very dark. But it is in exposing that darkness that I hope to allow His Light to shine through these wounds so as to bring hope and help to others.

Advertisements

302 thoughts on “Glorious Wounds

  1. Is it possible to have spiritual PTSD. Short answer is yes. See we are a mirror. We is our human spirit, body and mind. What happens to our spirit gets rfflected in out bodies and minds. Out spirit is capable of being traumatized and in essence what happens to it is that it gets stained with a bruise or a trauma. This experience results in a bond being formed. The bond is anchored to our spirit, mind and body as well as the place and even the people it happened with.
    Yes there is scripture about webs in the bible. This is one of those things that can get us attached to this web or matrix of the wiles of the enemy.

    I had it and was graced with s series of dreams to let me see an entire season which I had not only been defiled but also had defiled others as well as place and time. time is an element of what God has made and it too can and will be defiled.

    This element (time) is one of your primary areas of spiritual authority. If this has any witness or reasonance am happy to link you to some ministers who can share with you some more of these concepts if so led?

    My walk was that Jesus set me free from this wile of the enemy and than received confirmations and an authorityas to timing inmy life.

    garry

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Here is a deep macro view of the PTSD paradigm which is effecting millions of people. Unfortunately women are the leading edge of the carnage left in the wake of the Big F( feminism) Men and boys in the next generation are trailing.
        Biblically speaking the war has always been aimed first against man who was destined to have been the priest in his union of man and woman. Not as one who is in charge over the woman but submitted to his husband( Jesus) as the bride of Christ and than equally to his bride on earth. This was the original prototype. Wow has it been and is being so polluted and corrupted. For those in pain or are emerging from it please know that Jesus can, will not only heal but can restore. Trust him….. he does know what he is doing!
        https://www.henrymakow.com/2017/03/obrien-femininism-cop-out.html

        Like

      2. If led can forward many various forms of formidable spirit led non churchy sources of some of the cutting edge of ministry in the domain of the fake narrative so many have been subjected to. My wife and I were given the grace to have ministered to several folks who were shoved pretty far down this rabbit hole. Jesus himself entered the fray with us to lead us in prayer for the freedom of these beautiful people who were set free of this bondage and are now walking in victory and have gained a specific authority in this arena of ministry.
        Blessings
        g

        Like

      1. Most interesting, yet very prophetic thing for another bruised time traveler to share.
        Thanks for sharing. Ya got a great gift for writing. Must have had ancestors who were scribes.
        Mine were the tribe of Levi.Many were Rabbi’s who came as immigrants.
        All ancient history -( twinkies under the bridge)
        If you ever wonder about freedom and need to just stop time travel for a while…… can share some most explosive things.
        Keep up the great writing!

        Like

  2. Thank you so much for liking my last blog post! I am new to the blog arena but struggled with my own eating disorder 6 long years. I am currently 12 years recovered. If I could ever be a guest writer for your blog, please let know! Proud of you for all of the work you are doing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello! I am not sure how you found my blog a week or so ago, but I was really happy to see I have readers other than my family and some close friends. I have tagged several of my entries with the word STROKE and DEALING WITH LOSS, so that is probably how we crossed our paths. My mom had a stroke when I was only 3 (I am 45 now) so I really feel your pain. Have faith in her, and also , it is amazing what a stubborn mind can do! My mom’s determination is what has her still here with us, despite the crisis she had this last summer. Your are a very beautiful and smart young woman, and regardless of your mom’s recovery speed, she will ALWAYS be there for you, with you. Are you getting married soon? I couldn’t put all the pieces together and I could not find your blog entry when you explained about the stroke. Best wishes! Keep writing- you are GOOD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry that you can personally relate. Your mom sounds pretty incredible. No im not getting married. I’m actually single! I guess that wasn’t clear but I was talking about my future wedding. Haha. Thanks for your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  4. Dearest Writer,

    Your story within the confines of this blog is an inspiration. Though I’ve only read a few, amongst a significant amount, I can truly see your beauty, your priceless worth, and your incredible story. You’re a remarkable lady, BBB, and I hope to tread through your thoughts in the future.

    -D.V.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear friend,

    Well done written and analysed concerning our wounds in our life. Yes, we all have these scars and were suffering from it at certain times. Somtimes they were bitter medicine but gradually they helped us too to learn from it, to enrich us once we have overcome those sufferings. Isn’t life like a mirror or an echo of our own thoughts, words and deeds? Like a cause and effect and like a balance of good and bad things? In the end they are lessons for us to learn from in the school of life and when our trust in God is growing so strongly that we are able to surrender in this trust and confidence in Him then all our problems suddenly become smaller and smaller while we have our attention in Him.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂
    Have a happy time
    Didi(Artist)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Didi, thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. So true – that surrendering in trust to Him is what life is all about. It definitely is easier said than done, and is something i have to work on every single day. hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Glorious Wounds, not a pop fad topic but a foundation to walking with an abundant God who wants you to live an abundant life, now and forever…. Maybe,,,Jesus will look at your scars and say ” You are my child, your marks prove it, only my children have scars like mine. I love you my child…

    Like

  7. In the beginning, God brought order and beauty (and life!) out of the primordial chaos. Could anyone have predicted that? No. But God had plans. (“My plans are not your plans.”) Out of slavery, got brought liberation and a people curiously his own. Out of suffering and death and persecution, God worked the Resurrection. Who ever expects the Resurrection? Likewise, out of the chaos of the human condition and the ravages of addiction and disease, God can raise us to new life. Nearly 28 years ago, I was hopelessly lost in the maze of alcoholism and as good as dead. I sit here today telling you about my new life as a sober and happy father, husband, physician, and believer, not because I heard about God, but because I met the One who calls into life what did not exist and gives life to what was dead. My wounds, like yours, were where the light got in and began the process of new life and blessings for others. Each of us is God’s own beloved, and when we are lost God seeks us and finds us and brings us to new life, if we allow it. Your journey is a treasure and I appreciate you sharing it with others. Life in Christ only becomes a gift when it is given.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much. I think to go back in the archives on the right hand side to the earliest date and then click previous post on each one. Wow I am so honored that you would want to read it. Thank you:) hhb

      Like

      1. Oh totally! I was really exposed to eating disorders during my senior year of undergrad. Being a therapist and social worker now, it is crucial to appreciate the narratives of others who have undergone the struggle. Ofc I think it is an honor for me to read your journey and I hope I can benefit.

        Btw is there a recent blog post where you share things that you’ve learned along the journey (after looking back)? I’m sure you look back and reflect on it often

        Like

      2. Thank you again. Yes! My most recent one Recovery:10 years later has some total reflection. As well as “Top 4 things I’ve learned in recovery”. Hope that helps. Hugs and love xox

        Like

  8. Thanks for your like on my latest post. I am so grateful I stumbled across your blog. I’ve enjoyed the raw authenticity with your writing and I look forward to reading about your journey.

    Like

  9. How amazing it is how God will use us to inspire one another and spur each other on to good deeds! I pray this blog will inspire others as well. God bless. –E.R. Peters

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I echo your other comments: What a beautiful post and testimony! I can imagine our Lord smiling as He watches His light shine through your scars. Keep up the great work! 🙂

    Like

  11. God uses us when we hit bottom and we can only look up. It is only after we become broken and quit relying on our own power that His light shines. i want to see the world through His eyes. you are doing well in serving Him. Keep up the good work.

    Like

  12. What an encouraging post reminding us of our Ultimate Healer, Jesus Christ – thank you so much! The fact that God’s grace covers us and He takes our wounds and the pain in our lives and uses them as instruments for His service is powerful. God can transform those of us who are hurting into wounded healers, people who can help others with their testimony, and that is exactly what Jesus did, and that’s what you are doing too. Thank you for the hope and inspiration you are sharing! It is glorifying Him.

    Like

  13. Hello
    I’ve been meaning to leave you a note for a while now. You seem to be a frequent reader of my blog – thequotidiantheologian.wordpress.com – and thank you for that! I read one of your blog posts a few months ago (I can’t find it now), where you spoke about being at a garden party, and underneath a seeming air of indifference, people really wanted to talk about faith. I was struck by how open you were about your faith, and it encouraged me to be more open about mine – I’m Muslim, and living my life walking God’s Path is everything to me, but I always had it like I had to hide it because ‘nobody wants to talk about faith openly!’. It’s outlooks like yours that help encourage others to openly embrace their faith and be unapologetic about how important it is in their lives as modern humans (and women, come to think about it). I would be delighted if my words could do the same for somebody else, too.
    All the best with your work and blog
    Nazish

    Like

  14. Incredibly moving and powerfully written post. Definitely puts a new spin on looking at what I consider my “unresolved grief.” The pain I’ve endured [the loss of a loved one] has shaped me into who I am today—it first made me strong and rather invincible and then tired of running and out of steam, moved me into a very dark place—but recently I identified the root of my pain [through writing]—and I no longer have to seek diversion from the it [the drinking]. I can look at that pain and know it and understand it and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. I, too, have come away from the Darkness.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s