Pickles and ice cream. Weight gain. Difficulty putting on shoes.
I’m going to be honest: before I became pregnant, that was about all I knew about these 9…but really 10 months…of carrying a child.
Right now, I am 26 weeks pregnant. And this whole beautiful journey has been one huge eye opening experience.
Coming from a family of two older brothers, and being one of the first in my friend group to have kids…I had absolutely no clue what I was “in for” going into pregnancy.
You see, I think there’s this misconception that just by being a girl, you know all of the secrets and ins and outs of carrying a baby. But frankly — especially coming from NYC where, let’s face it: no one is pregnant — there are just certain things that you don’t know until you know. If that makes sense.
And so, I thought that I would compile a list of some things that have been a surprise to me. So that, if there’s anyone else out there who was like me and a bit in the dark about the reality of pregnancy, I can shed some light for if/when they — or their loved ones — find themselves “with child.”
Before I start this list, I just want to open with the fact that it is my life’s joy to be pregnant. This is what I have always dreamed of and prayed for since I was a little girl. And one that, due to all of the repercussions of the anorexia in my past, I didn’t know if it could actually be a reality.
Carrying our daughter is the greatest honor: I know that God is at work forming her in my womb, and it is such a privilege to be part of that process, and the vessel where that miracle is taking place.
During these last six months, I have felt closer to God than ever before. Closer to my husband and family than ever. And my life has had the most purpose and higher calling than I’ve ever felt. Everything – every food choice, every life decision, every little daily moment or sacrifice you make because of “pregnancy” – is a choice made in love with her best interest in mind. And I’ve felt a special connection with Mary.
So all that being said, allow me to highlight some of the most surprising things that I wasn’t aware of.
1. The fear of something “going wrong” in those first few weeks is inexplicable.
Not to start off on a dark foot here, but this is a huge reality for women when they find out they’re pregnant. They pee on a stick, find out they’re pregnant, and then have to wait for about six or seven weeks until they can see their doctor. So those weeks are excruciating. The excitement is so palpable, and yet: you know it is the most delicate time in the formation of your little babe.
Every time you go to the bathroom, you just pray you don’t see blood. You’re reading all the labels and double checking if things are pasteurized, and Googling every single symptom or activity or skincare ingredient or food item: “Is ________ pregnancy safe?”
There is just so much fear. Especially when getting pregnant in and of itself is such a miracle. I really had to surrender my fear — and this pregnancy — to Jesus and just trust that He would protect me and my baby. And that really helped.
2. You are intensely tired.
This one threw me for quite a loop. Because, particularly during the first trimester: you are acutely exhausted. I could make it through the day, but once dinner was cleaned up and it was 7:00…I was upstairs getting ready for bed. Because literally as soon as my husband and I would sit down to watch TV…I was out. Literally I was falling asleep for the night before 8:00.
I think back to my friends who were pregnant at my wedding, and I think to myself: Wow: what champs. WHAT CHAMPS to be out past 8pm and on a dance floor. Seriously so impressive. And also — I can’t believe I didn’t have a clue.
3. The “bloated phase” is dreadful.
OK, “dreadful” is perhaps a bit of a dramatic exaggeration. BUT, it is super annoying. Because you don’t fit into maternity clothes yet, and your “regular clothes” don’t fit anymore. And you’re just kind of in this no man’s land where a) you can’t tell anyone you’re pregnant because it’s too early, b) you don’t look “pregnant,” but c) you look like you’ve just finished a Thanksgiving dinner every day.
So yeah…that was not the most fun season to navigate fashion-wise.
4. Belly oil is your best friend.
I’ve used Hatch Belly Oil since I was about 12 weeks pregnant. One thing about skin that’s growing and stretching…is that it itches. Badly. This stuff…I slather it on twice a day. It smells amazing. It doesn’t make my clothes or bed sheet greasy or oil-stained. It absorbs quickly. MOISTURIZING IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
5. You’re gassy. And you pee in the middle of the night a lot.
OK – let’s get these embarassing truths out of the way in one fell swoop. I don’t know if maybe it’s just me…and if it is, then welp: I’m outing myself here! But there’s just a lot of gas that is happening in there. I had never tooted in front of my husband before EVER. And I will never forget, we were watching a movie, and *BOOP!* all of a sudden a cute little toot came out of nowhere! That’s the thing — in pregnancy, they come out of left field so there’s nothing you can do!! We both had an extremely hearty laugh, and Steven goes: It was the baby!
That, and you just pee all the time, but especially at night. We’re talking: minimum three times.
6. Feeling the baby kick is the most magical feeling in the world.
OK – so I realize that the majority of the things I’ve mentioned so far are negatives. But I’m really just trying to shine a light on the reality of pregnancy, because I literally thought you just gained weight and had weird food cravings. So I wanted to be real here.
But KICKS. These are the most beautiful things because they remind you at the most random times throughout the day that you’re with your baby! It reminds you that you’re growing your child, and that you’re a mom! It’s so exciting. And once they become strong enough that your husband can feel them too from the outside — it is such a beautiful bonding moment for the three of you, and it really makes your man feel part of the journey.
7. It’s fun to show off your bump!
Honestly, I’m having so much fun dressing my bump. I love form fitting things that really show off the little basketball I’m carrying!
8. Thigh rub is real!
Oh my gosh this one caught me the MOST by surprise! This is not something that I’ve had to deal with before, but WOW — I was wearing a long dress one afternoon and it got kind of warm. Chaffing on your thighs — and underarms — is no joke.
I’m going to link these pregnancy biker shorts that I wear every single day to combat this. (I have 8 pair!)
And for the underarms: it was because I was still trying to squeeze into my pre-pregnancy workout tops. So definitely invest in some new ones from the get-go.
Lastly: it goes by SO FAST!
I truly cannot believe that I’m already 26 weeks! Time is absolutely FLYING by. I want it to slow down! I am having the absolute time of my life. I truly LOVE being pregnant. Every day is special and has so much meaning and purpose. My husband and I are falling in love with our daughter more and more every day. And it’s just so exciting to dream and plan for and excitedly await her arrival this summer!
So to close, yes — there are a lot of things I didn’t know, BUT pregnancy truly comes so natural. We’re doing what God designed us to do as women!
So this list was merely just to share with anyone who may not be aware of or appreciate the Herculean task it is to grow a child. So may this serve as a glimpse into the reality of maternity living!
33 responses to “RealTalk: I Knew NOTHING About Being Pregnant. Here’s My Pregnancy 101”
Caralyn, thank you for sharing what being pregnant is like. I had no idea of course what women must deal with while pregnant. God bless your family! 🙏🏻❤️
Bad news, the peeing in the middle of the night doesn’t end with pregnancy 😂. I was terribly sick with severe morning sickness with all three of my boys, but being pregnant was a magical experience. You absolutely feel closer to god. The last few weeks will go slow (at least it will feel like it.). Rest up and stay hydrated
For what it’s worth, my bladder went back to normal after pregnancy, thank goodness. But near the end, like the last two weeks, peeing took forever! There was just no room I guess, for all the plumbing to work correctly and it just dribbled out. TMI, haha!
Good luck.
Oh man, I’m jealous! Mine has never recovered!! And definitely remember the indignities of those last few weeks.
These next 3 month….super tired all over again. This is where your daughter goes into turbo growth. Though tired so much more, my best advise is to walk walk walk! Taking lots of long walks will definitely make things much easier during labor.
But oh sweet girl. The best is yet to come. You are going to come to know, understand and realize our Father is a whole new, deeper, more incredible way through your child. You can’t know what you don’t know is true. You can only imagine. But, you are going to experience an entirely unique type of love that is like no other and this is the beginning of the knowledge of God as our Father, His unimaginable love for us. How this love for your child mirrors the love that He has for us and is the love that we’d lay our own life down for ( as our Lord laid His down for us) and the depth of love that a Father would lay His Sons down for us.
turbo growth! oh I can’t wait 🙂 I am excited! Yes – walking is my BFF — my pregnancy exercise routine is an hour walk every day, coupled with some gentle body-strength work for about 20 minutes, 4x a week. I’ve had to really pay attention to how my body feels (aka: slowing down my pace a little) and I really feel, honestly, amazing. I feel strong, I feel nourished. I feel healthy. And I can only imagine that those feelings of positivity are good for the baby’s temperament 🙂 That, and I just sing worship music around the house all day. I want to try to use worship music as her “white noise” machine when she’s “out” lol Oh, I am so excited for that — the love I have for this child now is only a glimpse of the love the Father has for us, His children, and that’s been really powerful to realize. And like you said, I can only imagine how intense that feeling is going to become after she’s here. Also – seeing my husband really connect to God through a fathership-connection: that’s been honestly, *the most* beautiful thing. I just thank God every day that He’s given me a husband who seeks Him with a genuine heart. I feel so incredibly blessed. Thank you for such a beautiful comment, Laura. I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday! Hugs and love xox
Oh Carolyn,
I love so much hearing your words and that they have been kept here in writing. They will be words of remembrance for you and something your daughter will treasure one day. I love so much how connected you already are to the miracle and mystery that God bestowed upon us that is unique to only women, the gift of creation in our bodies and to bring life into the world. Just like the many ways that God connects to and reveals Himself and His image in men, this is how He connects and reveals His image in us. What a beautiful and awe inspiring thing!
AND, I love so much the words you speak about your husband. What an almost rare blessing in the world we now find ourselves in today. What an answered prayer for so many of us who love you but specifically your parents who I am sure have prayed for this man for you long before the Lord revealed to you. Start praying right away for your daughters husband.
I buy faith based lullaby and classical CD’s for all my grandbabies when they’re born and there is a site called Scripture Lullabies that you might like. I love their devotions but they have put scripture into lullabies.
All my Love & prayers
Laura💕
You look gorgeous and healthy.
thank you Sue! that’s so kind of you to say! Hugs and love xox
Just a little something to look forward to. I was probably 30 working with a nurse that had just turned 50. We were in the bathroom helping a gal straight cath and she squated down and out came toot. She told me once you hit 50 there is no controlling it they just shoot out like rockets. Now that I am passed that age she was not kidding and my husband has same problem. You look radiant and yes feeling the baby move is the best part of pregnancy!!
Thank you so much Rachel! hahah I laughed at this comment! This pregnancy has definitely gotten my husband and I (really just me) over the hurdle of toots hahahha I still will ALWAYS feel mortified when it happens (which is often during this pregnancy), but I guess it is just God giving me a little practice in humility! hahah thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
Two weird things (nobody told me about) that scared me AFTER our daughter was born: One, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning at the hospital absolutely drenched with night sweats. I thought maybe I had a post-surgery (c-section) infection. Turns out, it was just my body getting rid extra fluid gained during a sweltering summer. Nothing to sweat if that happens to you, ha! Two, a lot of my hair fell out. This is apparently due to the change in hormones after your pregnancy is over. But I only lost some of my hair, and it grew back. These things don’t happen to everyone, but if either winds up in your experience, no need to fret. The real kicker is how weepy you will get about EVERYTHING. The good news is that your happiness over your daughter helps you cope with the postpartum emotionalism. I remember watching TV commercials and boohooing over them…not my usual response as an advertising copywriter. It will be just fine for you to cry at the drop of a hat. Tell your husband that you’ll level out eventually. He seems like such a sweetie–destined to be a great dad! Praying all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and delivery. May God bless you richly in your expanding-family years!
So helpful!! thank you for sharing those! i had bad night sweats in the first couple weeks after finding out I was pregnant, and I figured it was just homormal changes. But boy was it ever ANNOYING! Going through three pajamas a night! And I have definitely heard of a lot of women experiencing hair loss. I’m glad yours grew back! that is the one I am bracing myself for the most. God’s hands! hahah – yeah, he’s gotten used to some abnormal emotional episodes lol Glad to hear those will continue! 😉 hehe Hugs and love xox
Thank you for sharing, and I can say yes to all of those… 🙂 I’ve got three kids and it is amazing growing them. But the first one is the most special pregnancy. There are other surprises with your 2nd or your 3rd. So enjoy this one. As you said – every single second. You are never going to be a first time mum again. Never have this experience it for the first time like this. I am so glad you are really enjoying it.
thank you so much! three kids – that is so beautiful! i hope God blesses us with three one day! Yes! every single second has been such a joy indeed. this is such a powerful perspective — thank you my friend! Hugs and love xox
. . So happy for you in your discovery and journey of pregnancy. It is a wonder how God creates the entire process. . . We are being woven together with our child as God fearfully and wonderfully develops life within our wombs. From conception to birth when we
hold our child, we are transformed. Enjoy the goodness and love of the Father when he alone determines family. Culture will never be able to destroy what God gives birth to – a love of FAMILY.
thank you Judy! It really is — I have been just in awe of God and His brilliance, experiencing how the body just instinctively KNOWS what to do to grow this child! it’s not like I have to think — “okay, let’s grow eyelashes. OK, now let’s get the central nervous system going and connect this neuron to that receptor in the brain” — nope! the body just KNOWS! it is WILD when you really think about the complexities that the body is just forming. thank you for this beautiful comment. Amen! family is everything! Hugs and love xox
#2 – YES! So tired. Growing a whole ‘nother human is exhausting! When I was pregnant with my third there were times where my husband and I would go to visit friends … and the first thing I would do was lay down on the couch and go to sleep.
#7 – YES! Pregnancy is the one time where, as an American woman, you have cultural “permission” to be big. It was such a mind shift for me and I enjoyed every minute of being my gargantuan self. 😀
Thanks Athena!! I am definitely loving my gargantuan self too! heheh 🙂 what a uniting experience for women 🙂 i love it! so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for these stories. I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first child. We took a 500 mile trip to see my parents and we had to stop in a quiet wooded area for her to urinate. She got the urge and she had to go right then. But I have been researching development in the womb for one of the fictional characters in my Wednesday morning short story series. I want to get the details as accurate as possible, and this post gave me a lot of confirmation. I will continue to pray for you.
Keeping you and your family in my daily prayers, dear one.
Just like every child, every pregnancy is different, though many of your experiences will be commonly shared enough that women (and dads!) will appreciate hearing how you are doing. Just don’t expect the exact same things with baby #2.😉
It is good that you have the courage to behonest about all this. We are immensely vulnerable following the birth. It was the most vulnerable time of my life. Insensitive treatment and comments can do a lot of damage. To quote The Devik wears Prada. ‘Gird your loins’ be prepared to kick ass if you need to.
I would love to give you a sweet flowery picture of motherhood but I think many of us experience it as a daily battle.
This is my favourite portrayal of motherhood from Raising Helen;
https://youtu.be/qWqkTXhPANI?si=WTvWnzZk2eBIWcZ3
More realistic than you might believe. A baseball bat might help with interfering busybodies too!
Honestly I wish I had equipped myself with a baseball bat ahead of visitors
I tried to link to a scene from Raising Helen where she is breaking up a teen age party!
Oh my! This is so precious Carolyn! Thank you for sharing these truths and taking us along your pregnancy journey. I am very glad that you’re healthy and enjoying the whole process and I can’t wait to see you write about the arrival of your precious little girl.
Sending you lots of hugs! 🤗
Congratulations!
It’s such a privilege to be making this journey vicariously with you. Thanks for sharing! Takes me back 58 years to my first pregnancy!
What a sweet blog. Sending you a big hug.
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My cousin’s husband said that the first time he farted in front of her and she laughed, that’s when he knew she was the one.
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So precious