…and it’s YOU! All 5,000 of you!
Yes, I recently hit 5,000 subscribers.
And I just wanted to express my sincere gratitude to all of you for taking time out of your day to come read my posts and check out my silly little quote art pictures.
You know, it’s funny. Because when I started this blog, I was never doing it for “the numbers.” I literally just wanted to share my experience, with the prayer that even one person who is struggling with an eating disorder, or the loved one of someone struggling, might find hope and encouragement here. One person. That was all I was hoping for.
So it absolutely humbles me that you would care to read my words.
So, thank you 🙂
Now, if you have never heard it, quick recap: (Matthew 14) Jesus was being followed by a crowd of 5,000 people. At the end of the day, they became hungry (duh) but all anyone had was 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. So Jesus said, “Bring them here to me.” So then He took the food, “gave thanks and broke the loaves.” Then Jesus goes, Yo, pass it around. So the disciples gave the food to the 5,000 people. “They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up 12 basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about 5,000 men.”
It was a miracle
Now, I’m going to say something, and I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way. I mean, I seriously hope not. Here’s what I’m not saying: a) I am in no way saying that I am like Jesus. And b) I’m not suggesting that I am “feeding” 5,000 people with some groundbreaking spiritual/emotional “food.” Uuuh, no.
So with that out on the table, I continue.
The story of the Feeding of the 5,000 does make me think about this blog. But for a different reason.
Jesus fed all those people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. AKA: next to nothing.
He miraculously multiplied it.
I’m going to be really honest here for a minute: most days, I feel unworthy of publishing posts, feeling that my words aren’t enough – that I’m wasting your time, or that what I have to say really doesn’t matter. Who cares? You’re a joke, anyways.
But this story gives me so much hope.
Because Jesus takes what little there was, and makes it enough.
Most days, I think to myself, what could I possibly have to say? I’m a twenty-something, single girl, who is a measly actor/nanny with a veryyyyy questionable background … I mean, I allowed myself to waste away to literally death’s doorstep….sooo what could I possibly have to say that is worth even a teensy bit?
But God takes that miniscule bit I have to offer, and makes it enough.
And He does for you, too
It doesn’t have to be to a blog. It can be in any facet of life.
Sometimes it’s needing the strength to make it through a particularly stressful day. Or getting up the courage to have a conversation that is difficult but necessary. Or that thread that your relationship is holding on by – God takes all those things and makes them enough.
But we’ve got to give Him what we have to offer. “Bring them here to Me.” Because then what does He do? He blesses and breaks it.
One of the comments I get quite often is about how “vulnerable” I am on here. And first of all, thank you for taking the time to comment. But I can honestly say, that that vulnerability is not my doing. It is Jesus breaking me. It is Jesus taking what I have to offer – my history of anorexia and my journey to recovery – and pouring His light through those wounds so that not only can I heal, but also potentially someone else, too.
It is Him.
He makes it enough. He takes the pathetic offering I have to give, and works a miracle.
Those people that day, they weren’t eating the original 5 loaves and 2 fish, but the miraculous bread and fish – the food that He created. That He miraculously produced. Yes, it came from the original 5L/2F, but it was actually His loaves and fishes they were chowing down on.
I can just imagine the disciples that day, before the miracle, taking an inventory of what they had to give to Jesus. Like, Uuuh….there are like 5,000 people here, and we’ve got….uhhh….5 loaves and 2 fish. *Nervous laugh*
I mean, I would be embarrassed to even bring them to Him as an offering. I’d expect Jesus to scoff and be like, Are you kidding me? You expect me to work with THIS?
And how many times have I thought that about my own life? But He never does. He doesn’t roll His eyes or turn me away. He goes, Okay. I can work with this. Let’s do this.
And He does.
He can work miracles. Even with just a couple of stinky fish and stale bread.
So what more can He do with you and I?