Love Never Fails

I’m gonna just come right out with it: it’s been a rough couple of days.

So I apologize for my absence this past Thursday.

What was I doing?

I was breaking someone’s heart.

Please don’t read that in a “My-Milkshake-Brings-All-the-Boys-to-the-Yard” kind of a way.


But rather, in a “I-just-had-to-hurt-someone-that-I-care-about-deeply-and-am-feeling-tremendously-guilty-and-full-of-sorrow-because-of-it” kind of a way.

As you know, this year, I have decided to be open to love.

And in an effort to do just that, I revisited a relationship with the boy I wrote this post about. I wanted to explore the chemistry. Put my toe in the water. See if there was anything there.


And there was. At least, for him. But for me, I just wasn’t feeling it. He’s an amazing guy, but when it comes to romantic feelings, I just couldn’t see him as more than a brother.

And it’s a shame. Because I truly do find his character, his heart, his faith very attractive. But I just couldn’t shake the “brotherly” feeling I had with him.

But more than that, I knew deep down that I still had more work to do, loving myself, before I could receive his love. For, the ultimate act of self-love is allowing another person to love me.

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So I had to tell him before his feelings got more advanced than they already were.

And let me tell you: hurting people sucks.

But afterwards, I was feeling really down. Aside from the guilt from causing someone I care about pain, I was also angry at myself. I found the Voice of ED snaking his way back into my head with things like, Of course you couldn’t love him — you’re incapable of that. You’ve just thrown away your last chance at love. You’re destined to be alone. You’re unlovable.

I found myself beating myself up.

And when you’re in that head space, it’s really hard to come up with inspiring words for a blog about hope and self-love.


So what did I do? I turned to the bible.

Isn’t it funny how sometimes, we are given exactly what we need to hear, when exactly, we need to hear it


I randomly flipped open to this.

1st Corinthians.

Love is patient, love is kind…

Now I’m going to stop you right there. Because if you’re like me, if I were to go on, you’d just glaze over it because we’ve heard that verse SO. MANY. TIMES. at weddings.

But I think that, since we associate it so heavily with marriage, that we can miss a very powerful passage.

Try reading this, thinking not about love for another person, but love for yourself.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
It is not inflated, it is not rude,
It does not seek its own interests,
It is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
It does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

Whaaaaat?!! Crazy right?! You’re like picking up the pieces from your blown mind off the floor right now, aren’t you?

So am I.


I mean, I could talk for probably 3000 words on each and every phrase in that passage, but I’m going to stick to my top 3.

Love is patient.

 

Right off the bat. God is reminding me that self-love is patient. So I’m not truly ready to be in love yet. That’s okay. I need to be patient with myself. The anorexia I endured left some very large and very real wounds that take time to heal. I should celebrate the fact that I gave love a shot. Tested the waters. I was open to it.

But the truth is, I’m still blossoming into the woman God made me to be. And I’m blooming at my own pace. I need to remember that and be patient in love with myself. The day will come when I am truly ready for love. But that day is not today. And that’s okay.

Love bears all things/does not brood over injury

These I think go hand in hand, so I’m going to count them as one.

My past is not pretty. Anorexia is a wounding attack against the self. A deliberate injury to the self. But love bears all things. Even that. God’s love for me. My family’s love for me. And yes, my love for me. It needs to not brood on that past harm, but move forward from it. And flourish, even with that period of darkness plaguing my history. Love bears all things.

  

Lastly, love rejoices with the truth.

Truth. In today’s world, it’s hard to know what that is. Really. It has been so skewed and adapted and stretched and eroded at, that we can hardly recognize it when we see it. But there is one that I know to be true: I am loved, and I am worthy of love. Period. Okay, so maybe that’s two…big whoop.

But that’s it. That’s the truth. I am loved by God to a degree that is incomprehensible. And I am worthy of love.

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The first truth, I whole heartedly know, believe, and claim.

The second…I’m still working on.

I thought I was a lot farther along on that journey, but seeing how things with that boy turned out, it appears I still have work to do

I am worthy of love, because God deemed me worthy to die on a Cross for.

[Self] love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [Self] love never fails.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

285 thoughts on “Love Never Fails

  1. This is such an authentically beautiful post. Although you
    are experiencing the pain of having to hurt someone, you gave the best gift of love rather than living someone which wasn’t true. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable in your entries.

    1. Aw thank you so much. Yeah that’s what I had to tell myself: that it was the kind thing to do to be honest with him. Hard as it was, I have peace. Thanks for your thoughtful and encouraging response☺️ hugs xx

  2. You don’t need affirmation, however, I believe you did the right thing. As painful as it is, sometimes we have to hurt others before the pain we may eventually cause becomes irreparable . And it’s true, we have to learn to love ourselves before we can all others to love us.

  3. I can totally relate to matters of the heart and feelings of insecurity and unworthiness that our ED can try to capitalize on, but I appreciate how you can bring things back into perspective with God’s truth, and his love for us. Thank you for sharing.

  4. An amazing truth for many of us to accept, believe and claim for ourselves. Important, significant and necessary post. Thank you for your vulnerability and being open to receive love. Working on that myself. However, the road to freedom from self but to self as well is enlightening and a blessing to behold when you share your journey. Keep writing and sharing.

  5. Reblogged this on msktb and commented:
    Beautiful and timely. Prayers are answered every day. Instead of blogging, creating, and moving about today… I was as still as I could be. And in doing so, many things were revealed. I’m sharing this blog as evidence that I am walking with the Lord and He is showing me His power through His glorious works, His wonderfully talented children, and His dominion.

  6. Being compassionate with one’s self is so important but not always easy. Giving ourself the kindness that we show others is often difficult. I wish you continued success in your journey. Lori

    1. Thank you so much Lori! You’re right, difficult as it may be, showing ourselves kindness is so important. Thanks for these words of affirmation and encouragement. It means a lot xox

  7. This is so beautifully written and I really can relate to some of the feelings you share. I love that part of the bible you shared. I may be Jewish but I still believe and I know that you were meant to read that at that very moment. Everything happens for a reason. I’m an ED survivor on top of my traumatic brain injury so I really can relate to much that you share. I thank you for being so open and raw. You are beautiful inside and out. Always remember that.

    1. Oh thank you so much Julie☺️ it’s Yoga_ditty!!! Yay! ❤️❤️❤️ your kind words have absolutely warmed my heart tonight. Thank you☺️ yes, God is good! Thanks for sharing part of your journey. You’ve overcome a lot. Truly inspiring. Thanks for stopping by and for your friendship! Hugs! Xoxo

    2. I’m not religious as all but I agree Julie – there are times when it seems like fate intervenes so long as a person is aware and connect with what message the universe is telling us

  8. I worry I’ll never be able to love another person. I just am too scared to try and have the luck of a busy schedule to hide behind. I don’t know how to be loved. This post gives me some encouragement to try that whole self-love thing harder. I feel like I do appreciate myself and have moments of loving it, but I think I need to work on unconditional self-love.
    Thanks for these words <3

    1. Hi Ellie! Thanks for this. Oh girl, I’m giving you such a big hug through the computer right now. You definitely will be able to love another person. You were made for love. Both showing another love, and receiving it in return. Because you have a beautiful heart and a lot of love to give. And are worth it. 100%. I’m definitely working on the self-love thing too. Unconditional self love. we’re worth it! Love ya babe.

    2. I never ever thought I could love and be loved. Somehow I found my soul mate and I listened to the lessons he has to teach me -I deided to be conscious and aware of these message and try, I am finally, very slowly coming into my own and loving myself and accepting myself. Don’t lose hope.

  9. Your blog posts always hits me right in the heart, you do have to learn to love yourself, I struggle so badly with myself still especially this past week, since I split with my partner in October I have been concentrating on developing my relationship with the Lord. I managed to write so many posts this week but I feel the coming week is going to be more difficult for me so not looking forward to that

      1. thankyou my beautiful friend, sorry for reply late, literally was the early hours of the morning when I commented, being “across the pond” and all that. Never feel guilty about whats best for you to improve yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. I know I do quite alot and without Gods help that guilt would eat at me so much and wear me down, thankfully I do have my God in my life and things are so much better, especially when he lifts my burdens from me. He even gave me wisdom today and I haven’t even prayed or worshipped personally today, I mean, I know it might have been from praying the past few days/weeks but he is so amazing, he never fails us <3

      2. Hi Benjamin! Oh you are so right: God is always there to life is up and enlighten our minds with His truth. What a comfort that is. Thanks for the encouragement, my friend. So glad God is working in your life! Hugs and love xx

      3. I wish we could talk more often, you can always bring a smile to my face, you are an amazing human being, and feel like I have know your for years, even though I dont know your name, hope you had a good day, I know I had a very mixed sadly, had to cut short writing and lost the focus of it and the energy to write it so I have put it to one side, hopefully to pick it up tomorrow 🙁

        Much love and blessing
        your good friend
        Benjamin

      4. Thank you Benjamin:) I truly value our friendship❤️ isn’t it amazing how God can bring two people together through something like the Internet? he is good! Hugs friend 💚

    1. I find free writing help me so much. Sorry about what you are going through. maybe in time you will get some kind of answer as to why you are gong through this heart aching time . Best wishes.

  10. I was thinking of this passage the last few days too. I have lost nearly every friend I have ever made with the exception of my husband. Over the past month, I have played how they all started and ended in my mind and like you, I have berated myself. Most of those friends, if not all of them, were based on the assumption that I was a sheep and they needed to shepherd me. Whenever you have a friendship where one person thinks they are better than you, it’s bound to end up in disaster. So I went through this passage reminding myself that real love is patient even with people like me, it’s not rude or proud or unkind. Love believes the best. Love doesn’t give up when it’s too hard. In all these so called friendships, they gave up. Even after I tried to work it out. Over. Done. And this passage comforted me because it reminded me that even though I failed too, those people didn’t love. I own my part of it but I won’t own their sin.

    I know this isn’t what the post was about but wanted to share how that passage encouraged me in dealing with relationships and my own insecurities.

    1. Hi Buck, thank you for sharing this. I’m so glad this post resonated with you in the way you needed to hear. You’re right: love does believe the best and it doesn’t give up. Know that you are worthy of love and friendships. Sending you so much love. Thanks for reading!

      1. You do the same. The pain of hurting someone will pass, in time. I know, because I’ve lived it, and am living it. Blessings…

  11. I’ve picked up the pieces of my blown mind, and just wow, thank you! I struggle so much with loving myself (though I put on a good show of self-confidence…). It truly does blow my mind that this scripture isn’t applied more to one’s self before applying it to others. And because I don’t love myself this way, I struggle to love others this way, I struggle to let anyone love me this way, and worst of all I struggle to love God AND struggle to let God love me this way.

    I once broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because my feelings had waned and it was the right thing to do, however I continuously struggle with the dysfunctional thoughts of “No one will ever love you if you don’t stay with him” or “Of course he doesn’t want you, you’re fat and annoying”. I’m so glad you wrote this post to share your struggles though. It is scary and freeing to be so vulnerable <3

    1. Thank you so much for this heart felt reflection. Loving yourself is definitely a journey. But how comforting to know that we are loved first by our Father. That is a strong truth we can rest in. Sending you so much love. God is preparing someone for you right now. Because you ARE love able. And worth it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    2. I think this is such a common feeling. I think the first step which is the hardest is to accept what you have- your body, your mind and try not cover up your natural self.It is scary showing our naked selves to the world and people will let us down. I think as long as we stay true to our authentic self and not give up on accepting ourselves then love will come naturally. That’s just my opinion

      1. What a beautiful response, Daisy. Yes, not giving up on ourselves and having patience in blooming into our true authentic self is so important. In healing. In loving. In growing. In living. Thanks for this perspective xx

  12. The only love we should seek is that which is already given to us in greater abundance than we are capable of comprehending.When we are full of God’s love, it is natural to want to share it with someone, but we don’t need to look for it. It will find us.

    Why, there’s probably even hope for an old man like me whose past will require a very special Christian woman to see beyond it to the new heart that God has given me. And in the event that I discover a relationship is not in God’s plan for me before I die, it’s OK. While I admit it would be wonderful to have someone to love with this new heart and to look at each day with these new eyes, the truth is that, while I have been married twice and had more than my fair share of girlfriends, i have NEVER been loved like this.

    God’s love is perfect love, and you have it, my friend. You are special and He will provide you with someone equally special. In His time.

    Your courage in using your pain, your fears, and your vulnerability to help others is always a source of great encouragement to me.

    Know that you are loved and your friendship is valued.

    1. Wow thank you Tony, for this beautiful perspective. Your wisdom never ceases to blow me away. You’re right: Gods love is perfect love and I can find peace in claiming that. God is always working behind the scenes, and I believe he’s preparing the hearts of two people for both you and I 🙂 hugs Tony!

  13. What a beautiful post. I admire you so much, for taking the chance to love, for being honest with yourself and with him (as much as it hurt) and for being kind and patient to yourself. Love yourself first and true love with your soul mate will come when the time is right, I have no doubt. Blessings to you.

    1. Thank you so much Miriam. That really means a lot. So much truth: I must love myself first, as difficult as that may be. Thanks again for stopping by and for the nudge of encouragement☺️

  14. Hurting people is never a good feeling, but to continue unauthentically when your heart is telling you something different is a worse injury, both to you and to the other person. It is the nature of the Holy Spirit to give peace of mind and heart, that is how we know that we are cooperating with God’s plan for us. You did a very brave thing… THREE very brave things, in fact. You made yourself vulnerable and put your heart on the line, you did the honest and most compassionate thing you could when it was clear it wouldn’t work out, and then you shared your vulnerability with a bunch of strangers on the internet! You have every reason to be confident in yourself and to embrace your worthiness and inner goodness. Every reason to love yourself as God loves you! ❤️

    1. Oh thank you Lulu! Haha well when you put it that way, I guess there were three things! Although the last may lean more towards the crazy than brave! Haha 😋 but in all seriousness, thank you for these beautiful words of affirmation and love. I so so appreciate it. Hugs to you xox

  15. Ana, this is a wonderful and insightful post. I think that perhaps one day, as the Lord leads, you will share your journey in a bigger way and truly help others deal with what you have dealt with. The Lord bless you! Jim

    1. Hi Jim, my goodness thank you for such affirming words! It really means a lot. All I know is that I owe God everything. Including my life. So I long to serve him in whatever way possible. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

  16. While I never struggled with my body image, I have suffered for the past 6 years, failing to love who I am as a person and feeling unworthy of love. And you completely hit the nail on the head. THIS. This is what I am working on as well and you put it so beautifully. I am SO happy there are other women who are starting a revolution and working on loving themselves.

  17. I like your thought processes! I am going to think further on the whole Corinthians passage being applied to ourselves thing because I’ve really only looked at it in context of marriage, family, and God’s love. Interesting!

    But I can say that what you’re feeling (aka being open to love, etc) has also been on my mind recently. In response, God has told me to 1) wait, for all good things (His dreams for us) come with time, and 2) grow as I wait so that I may be ready for these dreams. Maybe this helps you?

    Also, I love this video: https://www.facebook.com/ucn.young/videos/434784486672073/

    1. Thank you so much for this great perspective! Those two things are awesome. Waiting and growing. How helpful is it to know that God is working behind the scenes for good for us:) thanks for stopping by!

  18. Another beautiful, insightful and inspiring as usual 🙂 Do not feel awful because whenever anybody seeks out a love relationship, only oneself can come to an overall conclusion as to whether or not that person will be right for oneself in the long term. As you implied in this post, you may not have an eating disorder anymore, but you also need to feel better emotionally as well. Anybody who had a past disorder of any kind would feel the same way you do based on my experiences with other individuals. I find it interesting that you read some of the bible between your last blog post and this one and you know what, whenever things feel a little shaky, it does come off as insightful and informative. This is not to imply that it wasn’t (it always was), but I seem to feel that way whenever I need some hope in my life. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂 and just keep smiling 🙂

    1. Thank you so much John. Yes, the bible always seems to have a blurb of encouragement and guidance. It is God’s word, after all! 🙂 thanks for stopping by and for your encouraging words, as always! Hugs!

    1. Hi Candace! Oh thank you so much. I’m really glad this resonated with you in the way you needed tonight:) that brings my heart so much joy! Yes He does! For both of us☺️☺️☺️thanks for stopping by, friend! Hugs!

  19. Beautiful piece! I can relate to everything you wrote and I find what you wrote about ‘self love’ so heart warming. God bless you! <3
    ~M.

  20. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.

    And please don’t break someone’s heart frequently because it worse than getting hit by a meteor {just kidding!}.

    GOD bless you.

    1. Haha oh yikes that sounds like an intense feeling! But in all seriousness, that’s right. It was so difficult and disheartening to have to disappoint someone I care so deeply about. But i had to for both our sakes. I look forward to finding a soul mate and experiencing all those things. Thanks for stopping by xx

  21. I have had to work so hard on accepting myself. I have got to a stage where I am mostly comfortable with myself. Yes, I have an eating disorder but I also have a the drive to live and Anorexia only thrives in death and decay. The day I started to respect myself and and let go was the day I allowed to accept myself and allow myself to be loved. I am not saying that it is a permanent feeling. Some days I am not so positive but as long as there are more I love me and I love to be loved moments I think I am on the right path and onto a good. Thing. I am not religious at all but I do believe in energy. I had a similar siltation with two men who wanted me to love them. I was so far into my illness I had to tell them I can’t do this: the whole relationship thing. Nobody with a heart wants to hurt someone but to be honest to yourself and to others is a one step closer to acceptance and self love

    1. Hi Daisy❤️ I love your heart. You have such beautiful insight, it is absolutely lovely. You’re right: being honest with yourself and others is part of the journey to self acceptance and love, and ultimately, freedom. Sending you so much love on your journey. You ARE on the right path and everyday getting closer to that freedom. Cheering you on, my friend. 😘❤️ thanks for stopping by xx

  22. What you were doing is showing respect, not giving false hope. I really agree with your thought and action. Hurting people sometimes is the thing that we don’t want to do. However, we can’t expect something when we are living in this world. All that matters is we showing love and grace to everybody. Nice post!

  23. I strongly believe that no one can truly hurt another because really we all are one. We learn something from each and every single moment if we look at it… You tried to open yourself to love, and you got an answer – that page in the bible, and you’re moving forward taking that with you. I’m sure the boy learnt something as well. Sometimes we take a long time to realize that we are learning or learnt something from a thing that we thought was so “unfair” or “bad” and sometimes we never realise it. But it’s there. We only need to look to see what that lesson is… I feel like our whole lives are about love and self improvement…if we have so much love in ourselves, how can we give but anything else to another person? 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful perspective! Yes, I completely agree: our lives are about learning to love: both others and self. It is a journey. And this episode definitely taught me a lot. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

  24. I have a feeling you are in my head, somewhere. You did the right thing. Trust me, you’d never have felt at peace if you kept it going just kill and prove to the voice that tells you, you can’t have better. You can and You will. Remember God’s promises to you. They should keep you going!

    1. Haha oh thank you Olive! And what great advice. Yes, I need to focus on God’s truth: that I am loved and worthy of love. Thanks for stopping by this morning! Have a lovely lovely day! Hugs!

  25. Ooh, yeah, being the heart-breaker is tough, especially when it’s a “misconnection” reason rather than a “bad!bad!” reason.
    I know your pain – had to do the same under slightly different circumstances almost exactly a year ago. :/
    It will hurt for a while and it may feel confusing because of your guilt, but in the end it will level out to an acceptance.
    I’m just glad you were able to put on the brakes before things got serious. (In my case, despite my best ‘take it as things go’ and ‘I’m not as into you as you are into me’ hints, I still liked the guy enough that it took me until we were pretty serious to realise that things weren’t going to end up well for both of us eventually…and by that time, well. There were consequences. 🙁 )
    I found solace in my diary writing and the Bible … It is very true that we ought to love ourselves first and know ourselves first before trying to give ourselves away….

    1. So very true. Thank you for this insight, friend. Yeah, As much as I wanted to “see how things progressed” the fact is, he was showing signs of being much farther along in his feelings. I had to be straight with him before he really got hurt. Thanks for this wonderful perspective. Have a beautiful day! Hugs!

  26. I love this. What a great reminder and what a beautiful thing that those verses can be related to us personally. Loving yourself and who you are is so important.
    Thank you!

  27. In Buddhism, we have something known as the practice of ‘metta.’ Metta is defined as, among other things, “a sincere wish for the welfare and genuine happiness of all beings.” The first step in practicing metta is always to meditate, at some length, on self-love, the premise being that more often than not, it is a lack of self-confidence and/or self-love that motivates one person’s unkindness towards another, and that it is not possible to love anyone without first loving oneself. So, just as it isn’t possible to be miserable without being self-centered, it isn’t possible to give anyone else “a break” until we’ve learned to do the same for ourselves. Self-love is about finding compassion for ourselves, and then extending that same compassion to others. It’s about recognizing our commonality and our connection.

    A lack of self-love would have motivated some women to accept that young man’s love despite not being able to return it in the way that he desired to receive it because they’re more in love with ‘love’ than ‘loving.’ You have shown that you understand that difference. Self-love is one of the most under-rated and overlooked concepts around. You’ve recognized, and practiced, an essential truth — and expressed it so very beautifully! Thank you!

    Namaste.

    Vivien

    1. Hi Vivien, thank you for this beautiful perspective. There are a lot of wonderful things here: I absolutely love that “self love is about finding compassion for ourselves and then extending that same compassion to others.” Wow. Wow wow wow. So true! Thanks for your encouragement this morning. Much appreciated 🙂 hugs and love to you!

  28. You seem to be struggling with giving love, not just receiving it. Those scripture verses will help you let someone love you. The first stages of true love don’t always begin with a feeling, but with a decision to love. The feelings come on later. besides the feeling of being in love passes quickly in any relationship. It grows into a stronger more fulfilling love as we cultivate it with all the things in I Corinthians 13. Ma6 God bless you as you learn how to love.

  29. Seriously, though, I love your blog! And yes – from a girl who is very close to ended the communication with the first guy I’ve dated in over a year – it is so consoling to hear that what I think/feel in this regard is shared by others. Thank you for sharing!

    I hold on to the fact that God loves me so much – even if I’m making a big mistake by ending things or it is just me freaking out because I have to let go of control… God loves me so much that he isn’t going to look at me and say, “Sorry, N, you’re screwed – that was your one chance at love.” He has this. He knows my weaknesses and fears. And I trust Him.

    1. What a beautiful response! First thank you, N:) that means the world ☺️ and you’re right: God isn’t going to abandon you or leave you out try dry. Because he loves you. Deeply. And as you say: “He’s got this” ☺️☺️☺️thanks for reading, friend! Xox

  30. Being the cause of someone else’s pain is never a good feeling, ultimately you did the right thing. I went through something very similar way back when and I still feel guilty about it every now and then. Sometimes we WANT to love others and keep them around in our lives because they’d fit perfectly in it, but that’s not always how things are meant to play out. His job in your life is done…Everything you learned from this experience and from him are is now going to play a super important role in the rest of your life! So shake the “guilty” feeling and soak in the experience…move forward with your happiness and thank God for putting him in your life😘 Cheer up doll, this too shall pass😊

    1. Oh thank you so much Ahidee. Wow, what a beautiful perspective. You’re so right: I did learn so much from this guy. And I learned that are still “good guys” out there! I just need to soak in the experience, like you said, and grow from it. God is good and His plan and timing is perfect. Thanks for stopping by☺️☺️☺️😘

  31. Beautiful Post! God’s love never fails! I am reminded of this quote by one of my favorites… Corrie Ten Boom “His timing is perfect, His will is our Hiding Place.”

  32. Oh dear, we’ve all been there. I burst into tears after breaking up with one of my high school sweethearts because I felt so bad for hurting him. On top of that, I didn’t even have the guts to let him down face to face, I broke up with him over the phone! I was just a kid, so I didn’t know any better, but I still feel ashamed when I think about it.

    1. Thank you so much for this insight. Ending relationships is always hard. I think in the long run though, this was best for both he and I. And I need to rest in that peace. Thanks for stopping by and for your words of kindness. Hugs and love to you friend!

  33. Another great message! Thank you. We need to see ourselves as God sees us…when we reach that point, we will see others thru God’s “eyes” which presents an entirely different view than we have ever seen. You are doing awesome in your journey…just keep moving forward one step at a time.

  34. When I meet someone who hasn’t learned partner dancing, I always started with: “Dancing is like flirting: it’s about seeing how close you can get, and then making sure that it’s safe to get away.” So many of us go through life looking to find that one person that we will fall into forever, but a long-term relationship isn’t like that. It has phases, a dance that sometimes brings deeper intimacy, but also distancing as we explore of our independent strengths that upon the return bring resilience to the relationship.

    So I am reading that your friend got in too deep, just as you got in too deep at one point in your life. He needs to reestablish his individual identity. While what you did might have been painful to him, that pain should be a lesson that helps him to become stronger. So there is nothing wrong with what you did – as I see it, you are giving him the benefit of all the trauma that you went through yourself!

    1. Hi Brian, wow what a beautiful metaphor! Thank you so much for sharing that. It makes so much sense. Yes, although this episode was painful, it was ultimately a learning opportunity for both he and I. Thanks for sharing his great perspective. Hugs!

  35. “But more than that, I knew deep down that I still had more work to do, loving myself, before I could receive his love. For, the ultimate act of self-love is allowing another person to love me.”

    Yes…this post was beautifully written and well stated. The best thing you could do for that man, was let him go before it was too late.

    I am married with three children. My husband and I have been together for twelve years but we both got saved later in life. Well after a lot of heart damage had been done. It’s been a rough couple of days for me too. I don’t think I know how to love myself nor do I think I am patient with myself at my process. When I am hurting emotionally, I am like a wounded animal..biting every hand trying to come near. It hurts to receive love! I am always looking for the string! I am always waiting for “it” to be USED against me. When I show my vulnerability, my brokenness, I later maul myself to shreds because “how dare I be so weak.” Isn’t His power perfected in weakness?? I want desperately to simply “be loved”……that I sabotage every act of love made in my direction. I also hurt from old wounds. This middle aged soldier has got some battle scars. From my current marriage and past boyfriends. Hurting people hurt people and I think my husband and I deserve the medal of honor in that department.

    Today, I have the aftershock of puffy eyelids, sleep deprived brain function and nothing but thoughts of shame and guilt at not being able to be “The Healthy One with all the perfect answers, who KNOWS her worth in Christ and NEVER needs her husband to SHOW his love because Her SECURITY RESTS SOLEY IN JESUS”…or something like that…

    I loved your post…beautiful and impeccable timing.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad this reinstated with you in the way you needed to hear it today. You’re right, loving ourselves is so important when we love another person. It is the foundation upon which love for another is built. You have a lot of wisdom. Sending you a big hug through the computer. I think having patience for our “blooming process” is one of the most difficult things in life. I admire your courage and heart. Hugs friend xox

  36. When you find the courage to be brave and share difficult truths with love and consideration for the other person, it will both strengthen and set you free. Beautiful post.

  37. I am glad to know you read a bible 🙂 and yes be patient somebody is there for you. I actually prayed constantly to God for the best man to come into my life and so he did grant me my wishes! Praying is a powerful tool.

    1. Thank you Vinneve. That’s a beautiful name btw. Oh that’s awesome! I’m so happy for yes. Yes, I dwell in the peace and comfort of knowing that He is preparing the man for me this very minute. Thanks for that reminder. Hugs

    1. Hi friend, you’re so right. It was not fair to him to continue on. I tried to give it a fair shot, seeing if those romantic feelings would grow, but as soon as he became clearly more invested, I had to be honest and level with him. It was the loving thing to do. Because I do truly care about him. Enough to let him go love someone that can love him back. Thanks for reading. Hugs xx

  38. I’m not anorexic but I am so very thin. I lost my appetite when I discovered that my ex had acquired yet another tramp. Tell me, do you really believe God hears you? I used to be very religious. I prayed every single day. His answer was always no. Somewhere, I stopped praying.

    1. Hi Laurel, thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry about your ex. You deserve someone who respects you and treats you like the precious gift you are:) and yes, I do believe that God hears me. My life is a testimony to that fact. He saved me from death to anorexia. But in the midst of the suffering, I didn’t think that God heard me. I thought he had abandoned me. But it was in that time that (I recognize now) that He was upholding me and carrying me. He was what got me through, even though I thought i was alone. I hope that makes sense ❤️ sending so much love to you, my friend xox

      1. It makes sense and I do believe there were times He sent his angels to protect me but I don’t understand how so much grief can be bestowed on one person. Just being selfish, I guess.

      2. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. Suffering is one of the most difficult things to understand. I don’t pretend to fully understand it, but I do believe that He is with us through it. And I know there’s a lot that I don’t know-that I will never know until we meet our Maker. But grief is so very hard. Sending you so much love and hugs right now ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  39. So, I may have broken the rules about reading from the oldest to the newest…but I did read a few of the old posts first. One of which included “Missing Out on Love…” and then this one. I just wanted to say that I have a husband now…whom I did not marry until I was 33…and one day about 5 years into our marriage, I thought of the verse “Love covers a multitude of sins.” I had always thought of that verse in the selfish way…as in, I was the one who had the love that was covering someone else’s sins. Let me say here that my husband is quite scatterbrained and often forgets important things or things I have asked him repeatedly to do. But he LOVES me. One day, I realized that it HIS love for me that was covering his sins and not my extravagant love covering over them. He loved me so much that I didn’t mind that he forgot things. It took a little of the pressure off of me. You will know when you find that person. Don’t rush it. It’s not worth it. Being alone is better than being with the wrong person.

    1. Thank you for this note of encouragement. What a beautiful perspective on that verse. I too have only thought of it in a selfish way, but seeing it with this filter now is so enlightening. So thank you ☺️☺️☺️so happy for you that you found The One☺️☺️☺️❤️

  40. Let me add, that I could have married before that…I had been engaged twice. I am SO glad that the Lord led me away from those situations. Wait for the real thing.

    1. Amen to that❤️ just another example that God’s timing is perfect:) we just have to trust and be patient. Two very difficult things for me😬❤️❤️❤️thanks again for reading!

  41. Hello B. I want to thank you for liking my stuff today. It meant a lot to me, I want you to know that chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow and it is entitled the fears of my peers. I want you to know that because you have gone out of your way to read my stuff I want you to know that like the Randy Newman song says you got a friend in me.

    1. Thank you so much coffee nut! 🙂 cute name btw! But seriously I’m really glad this resonated with you tonight. Self love is a difficult journey, but one to freedom that is totally worth it. One day at a time. Thanks for stopping by ❤️❤️❤️

  42. The number one fact, you know you are loved by God and he died on the cross for you. My friend, many many do not even know this yet, in their journey. You are getting very very close to taking a leap of faith and to love someone deeply. I know in my heart God has BIG plans for you. Blessings on trying and staying true.

    1. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this. I’m literally smiling right now, so thank you for sharing that truth of joy and peace with me. God is good. I just have to trust His timing! Thanks for stopping by, friend. Sending love and hugs!! ❤️

    1. Aw, thank you so much! That really means a lot, Maria! I do spend a lot a lot of time on them — a labor of love to be clear — so it’s nice to hear that you enjoy them! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

      1. I know it must be time consuming but the result is quality and I can’t help using your tweets in some my posts. I had some trouble to have the picture been seen, but today I succeeded in a draft that will be published soon

  43. wow! I have been meaning to write next on the love passage in Corinthians. thank you for sharing, I enjoyed reading your reflection of it.

  44. I haven’t read most of the comments to this post so my apologies if someone has already said this. You were doing the kindest thing to end the relationship early if it had no future. To let it go on just to spare this guy’s feelings would only be giving him more pain later on.

    And, great post yet again!

    1. Thanks Harry. I appreciate your kind words. Yes, although it was really hard, I knew the respectful and loving thing was to be honest with him before things got even more serious. Thanks for stopping by☺️☺️☺️

  45. Thank you for stopping by my blog today. Lover I have a strange feeling coming over me. I feel like I may be too vulnerable now and I feel as though there is no mystery to my life at all. Although I do appreciate having the story being out there, the combination of liberation and uneasy circumstances that question whether I should publish more. What do you think?

      1. You’re wise beyond your years. I’m going to do it. I’m going to keep writing and revealing one piece of the puzzle at a time. The reason behind this is because I’m the only one that can really tell my own story because I lived it. Look forward to more writing pieces from me in the near future.

      1. Amor thriving dedication to my pastor studies. There you go, another piece of the puzzle revealed to you the former Sports entertainer goes church on you. This is far more of a rewarding occupation then I could ever have imagined. Reverend is wonderful.

  46. Such a heartwarming post. Love can be difficult and hurting someone even more so. It’s always best to do things the right way and if you do that, you have nothing to beat yourself up about. Because you are a caring person this is what makes you feel bad and seeing that in you should remind that person that you would never hurt with intention. Hoping that you feel better.

    1. Oh thank you so much Corrie:) I really appreciate your kind words. You’re right, although it was very difficulty, in the end it was the loving and respectful thing to do. Because info care about him very much. Just not in a romantic way. Thanks for stopping by xx

  47. I admire your honesty. I think you are going to have a fantastic life full of love. Your photos are cool too did you do the graphics yourself or are they purchased (I’m looking for tips on how to get some). I’ll certainly share your post on my fbk LoveIsRealArt page.
    Oh and thank you for stopping by my new Village blog 😊

    1. Oh thank you so much:) I really appreciate you encouragement and the share! Yes, j make all the images myself (except the cat/milkshake one) haha. It is a bit of a labor of love, so your positive feedback really means a lot. Hugs!

  48. Feeling worthy of love is very hard to remind yourself of. I struggle with it everyday. After being in a relationship that hurt me far beyond what it should have been capable of 2 years ago, I still don’t understand where the line comes with the man that loves me now. So I put on my bathroom mirror that I am worthy. Every time I go in my bathroom it reminds me that I am worthy of the things I want. It helps. It doesn’t work for everyone but everyone needs the reminder. I’m sure it will help you, too. And self-love is a process we all struggle with no matter how old we are. There may be things throughout our lives that drop us way down low and we have to rebuild that self-love. You are doing wonderful! Do let anybody tell you less.

    1. Wow thank you so much for this beautiful response Clarissa:) your encouraging words mean so much. I absolutely love what you put on your mirror. I’m going to do that right now! So glad you’ve found that freedom. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love to you friend!

    1. Hi Doug! Oh my gosh what a beautiful song! I’ve never heard it before now but wow it really moved me. That guy has a great voice. Thanks for passing it along. Definitely worth the listen! ❤️❤️❤️

      1. Andrew Peterson is one of my favorites. His new album The Dark Edge of Dawn is worth every penny.

  49. First up, sorry that the attempt did not work as he wanted, or you aspired. You’re quite right, hurting people sucks.
    I have not read I Cor that way before. Interesting.
    I hope one day I get to the point of the two truths. Right now I struggle with both. Hold fast to both of them and keep going!

    1. Hey Jeff. Thanks so much for this response. I think love – every kind of love – requires a journey. One that we are constantly on and constantly growing and evolving in. One day at a time:) thanks for reading!

  50. Thank you for writing so honestly and for liking one of my posts. (When I read your heart here, I had to think of a poem I recently wrote on my blog. “The Offer” If you have a chance to read it, I pray it can offer you hope.)
    I agree with a lot of what you wrote about, but I have one caution, Don’t make self-love the focus. Yes, I believe you have to love yourself to love another person vulnerably and deeply; yet, I have discovered in my journey, that those days I don’t love me the best thing to do is focus on God and why I love Him. I went through a year or two when I did not have any close friends. I invested in God, and He proved to me in my heart that I was worth being loved.
    Keep writing and loving well and forgiving yourself and seeking God.
    I will be following your blog with interest as I am walking beside a friend given the challenge of anorexia.

    1. Hi there Yolanda! Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection! I’m so sorry your friend is suffering from anorexia. I will definitely keep her in my prayers. And you’re right. I think the thing to remember is that self love is only found through God. It is found by keeping our eyes on Him and seeing ourselves the way He sees us: as beautiful and precious children. What a great perspective to ponder this morning. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

  51. Congrats on staying true to your gut feelings. That takes more bravery and deserves a lot more respect than playing it safe. Sending prayers & best wishes for the future your way.

  52. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing, even though I can imagine that it was hard to write. I love how God knows exactly what we need to hear/read if we only take a moment to stop and listen.

    1. Thank you so much Rahab:) You’re right: God is good and wants the best for His children and know what they need to hear. I owe everything to Him, so even though it was difficult to write, it was necessary, because I owe Him my life. Thanks for stopping by and for your beautiful reflection. hugs my friend! xox

  53. It truly is all about, starts with, ends with, grows with, dies without, love. Thanks for your candid, frank and uplifting post. Blessings to you this Lenten season and thank you for stopping by the site and liking the post on Tares. In His Name Doug

    1. Hey Doug! Thanks for your wonderful reflection. You’re right. “The greatest of these is love.” I appreciate your encouragement this morning! It means a lot. Have a great day!

  54. Thank you! Thank you for your lovely insight. I just love how you can read the Bible many times and how the same scripture can speak to your heart in a different way than before. I love when God speaks to us through His word in the midst of our circumstances. It is so amazing. I am very touched by your experience and just seeing how powerful God works in the lives of his children. You are reaching out into the lives of many people and that is the power of God in you. May you continue to be blessed on your journey.

    1. Gosh, thank you for much, Joyfull Mom:) yes-God IS good. I can honestly say that these are His words. Not mine. I just sit down to the computer and say, “okay God, I’m listening!” It’s all Him! But thank you for such affirming and encouraging works. I appreciate you taking the time to read. Hugs! Xox

      1. I can tell by your writing that it is truly inspired by Him. I can feel His presence in your words and on your site. You have so many comments and you take the time to respond. That is a ministry right there my friend…a very powerful one! I am home 90% of the time, but I have the desire to touch many lives. My prayer is to be able to reach the MASS of hurting and lost souls just like you are doing now. I pray God’s will be done. I love it when God shows up…and He has clearly been showing up in your life! He never left :0) I will be keeping up with you. Great job doing the Father’s work here on earth. Blessings and love my sister in Christ!

      2. Wow thank you again for the blessing you have given me in this nudge of kindness and support❤️ your genuine and loving heart definitely shines through. God bless you my friend. Xoxoxoxo

  55. Hmm! Another classic piece on the often misunderstood subject called LOVE. And to your credit, If there’s one thing that stands you out from other blogs that I know, your SINCERITY is it. Well done!

    1. Aw, thank you so much Sonnie! what a kind thing to say:) i appreciate it! yes, love is something that i’ve learning something new about every single day. thanks for stopping by! hugs!

  56. May God bless your witness to Him.
    Thanks for liking my Post ” Patrick Hamilton .. LAW AND GOSPEL”
    Please, if you have time, read some of my other post they are full of Gospel Truths and seek to glorify God and uplift the Lord Jesus Christ.

    jgmtheo.wordpress.com/

  57. I was just thinking about that verse from 1st Corinthians the other day and about how much I felt it was untrue regarding love. Flipping that passage and reading it about MYSELF rather than someone else…well that, dear, was indeed mind blowing. Thanks for sharing.

  58. Wow. First — thank you for your transparency. Second — I clicked on this not expecting 1 Cor… Yesterday I had this moment when those verses came to mind. It sounds like you know what kind of moment I mean. I did some free form writing that is too raw to share but check back soon for the shareable version. Again, thanks for sharing, friend.

  59. I know I’m super late to this conversation on a post almost four weeks old, but the thought that ‘we [ONLY] accept the love we think we deserve’ is a game-changer, at least for me. When Christ has infinite love for us, yet we choose to limit the love we receive… It’s like we’re playing that old game of you get your wages, not realizing that old way of thinking delivers death. No matter how much love you think you deserve, God loves more.

    Thanks for sharing, and thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.

  60. I stopped by originally to thank you for regularly stopping by my blog and faithfully encouraging me. So thank you! But I got here and had a few minutes to read and have to tell you that I very much enjoyed reading this post.

    So many times I have found that scriptures I thought I understood well have a brooder interpretation than I ever imagined. I have struggled in the midst of my circumstances – with my own wounds, to feel God’s love for me. I’ve wrestled with how to recognize His love, because while I may not always feel His love for me, I do know that he does love me.. Eventually, I too turned to 1 Corinthians 13 and replaced the word love with God, because 1 John 4:8 and 1 John 4:16 both tell us that God is the very essence of love. I can also appreciate the need to see yourself through God’s eyes – self love. I’m glad you turned to the scriptures when your heart hurt and negative self-talk threatened to lead you to believe things about yourself that the Bible tells us are untrue. Wise choice! Thanks for your authenticity.

    1. Hi Janet, wow thank you for this absolutely beautiful reflection! I’ve so enjoyed reading your posts. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read. You’re right-there is so so much comfort and truth in His word. It is a window into His heart. Have a wonderful night. Hugs xox

  61. Thanks so much for such an inspiring post. Without question, it was a “right now word for all seasons. . . love never fails.” I especially appreciated the colorful posters that reinforced the message, not that it needed anything other than the heartfelt and exquisitely crafted words that you wrote.

    Thanks also for the visits to Dr. J’s Apothecary Shoppe and for the “likes.” You continue to be a blessing.

    1. Thank you so much Dr. J. That really means a lot. I’m glad you like my quote art photos! They’re a bit of a labor of love, but I really do enjoy making them☺️ thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

  62. This is a good reflection on I Corinthians. But I have to say I had a hard time getting past the cat at the top! I deal with rough spots via humor. Remember my motto for The Zipper Club (bypass survivors)? “Angioplasty is for sissies.” So I kept thinking of al the funny stuff I’d throw at you if you were my daughter.

    But that aside, maybe you missed the one really important thing here. A guy of the male persuasion, a testosterone-based life form, who I am guessing knows your history, takes a look at you and says “I would like to get me some of that!” Or something along those lines in a positive, non-misogynist, long term commitment sort of way. The guy found you ATTRACTIVE!!

    So…Beauty…while he may not have been The One, he showed you that you are someone to be desired. You are right to be careful when you either do or don’t accept someone’s advances. I’m not saying you should’ve gone for him, ’cause, “hey, I could do worse than marry a ‘brother.'” 🙂 I am saying here’s the pudding of proof; someone got a taste of who you are and how you look, and gave you two enthusiastic thumbs up!

    I’ll suggest this may not be the time to say your not ready. Someone thought you are. Others will too. Maybe now is the time to say “OK. It looks like I got this.” Maybe that’s the way to make yourself ready. Practice toe-dipping.

    So pardon the preachy, tongue in cheek Dad thing here. I think you’ve got it more together than you think. You’ve got 5000+ followers and hundreds of “Likers” who think you’re the cat’s meow (deliberate reference). This is not the time to paws. You don’t have to be purrfect. You just have to be you. And you’re pretty darn good at that! You’ll be feline! 🙂

    1. Hey hey Jeffrey! Oh my gosh, LOVE the dad jokes. So much. So incredibly much. You made my day, you have no idea. So thank you:) but in all seriousness, this was such a beautiful note, Jeffrey. Thank you for all the kind things you said, and for also offering a new perspective for me. You really do have incredible insight. I am so blessed to call you friend. ☺️ you’re right-looks like I’ve got some more toe-dipping to practice! Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Xox

      1. Well, it definitely sounds like you’re already on that path to understanding that you’re lovable and have accepted God’s love and grace in your life. So you might not get as much out of it now as a few years ago. But it can be a wonderful reinforcement if sometimes you still have that voice of self-doubt in your head.

  63. It has been so encouraging to read this post tonight. I have also been reflecting on how amazing Jesus’ love for me is.
    And that his love for me, displayed on the cross, defines me now. Thank you xx

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