Well, this is embarrassing.
I was stood up. TWICE. Two weekends in a row…by the same guy.
Now, let me clarify — It wasn’t some stranded-at-a-restaurant-alone situation, like a scene out of an early 2000s rom-com.
No, it was a we-made-plans-to-go-out-on-Saturday-night, -and-then-he-never-followed-through situation.
And this happened two weekends in a row.
The first weekend – he said he fell asleep. Which – you know what…Fine. I have an older sibling who’s a hardworking doctor, and is so sleep deprived that he often times will fall asleep within 90 seconds of sitting down on a couch. Mr. Stood Me Up Twice works at a high-stakes job in NYC – I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I gave him some grace.
Well, this weekend…Saturday night rolls around, we had planned on going out all week. I had gotten a manicure, got my glam on with a great outfit, perfume, makeup, everything — 6pm…7pm…8pm… crickets.
I am just — baffled.
And I’m not dense. I’m not naive that — despicably — most guys have several girls on their “roster” that they’re actively dating in the beginning stages of getting to know a person. Sadly, that’s just the name of the game these days, especially in NYC.
But this guy and I – we’d been out on three dates. He seemed to be really into me…just…bad at dating.
And so, finally…after allowing myself to, admittedly be strung along now for far too long, I am going to respect myself and walk away.
Because I deserve better than that.
I mean, for crying out loud, at the bare minimum, I deserve a text that you’re canceling on me!!
I was pissed.
And yesterday, I took a walk to blow off some steam, and I was reflecting on the fact that – wow, I have been stood up twice. Frankly, if I’m being really honest, it was a bit of a blow to the ego. I feel a little gross admitting, but I never thought that I would be stood up once, let alone, twice.
I mean, I just believe that people are better than that! And maybe that’s a fault.
But I was thinking about it, and it hit me: When people show you who they are, believe them.
I don’t have many bad experiences with people — as a Strong Two on the Enneagram Scale (aka a desperate People Pleaser who’s deepest desire is to be loved) my interactions are 99.9% favorable. But hey, as the former president of a sorority, let’s just say, I’ve seen some things.
But in those rare occasions where I’ve been hurt, or taken advantage of, or simply just left with a bad taste in my mouth about a person — looking back, those behavior patterns were evident all along, I was just choosing to overlook them.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
But I think the biggest takeaway for me was that, God is working.
God is orchestrating exactly where I am, who I’m meeting, what is happening. God is in control. And perhaps God wanted to show me that, frankly, there are some frogs out there. Perhaps God was trying to show me characteristics that I don’t want in my potential husband. Perhaps God was trying to teach me that I need to stand up for myself and demand bare minimum respect and courtesy. There’s no time to waste with someone who’s not respecting you.
I do believe that God has a good plan for me. If I’m being really super brutally honest, I think I still have a long way to go before I’m truly ready to bring someone into my life, and share with them all of my imperfections and the broken past from which –by God’s grace– I’ve overcome. And I think all these experiences are just evidence of Him working on my heart, so I that I am ready to fully let someone in.
And I trust that, God is working on my future husband’s heart too.
I can’t rush God. I’ve got to just keep putting myself out there, open to whomever God brings into my life.
Which is why, I’m going out with another handsome bachelor on Wednesday. 🙂
Oh, and if for some crazy reason Mr. Stood Me Up Twice is reading this…a) Welcome to my secret blog. And b) The men in my family have a few choice words for you, sir.
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382 responses to “I Got Stood Up – TWICE”
Frogs, sloth, poultry, whatever…God wants us to marry humans, not animals. His loss.
Thanks Brandon, I appreciate that. But of a blow to the ego but onward and upward!! 🙂 hope you’re having a great night! Hugs and love xox
His loss will be someone else’s gain. Stand your ground and hold to your standards, and keep your feeling of self-worth strong. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. When all is said and done, I’ve no doubt Mr. Right will appear, and it will be magical. Hugs and love– Mike
thank you Mike, i appreciate you saying that, and for your encouraging words. you’re right – I believe it will be magical too!! 🙂 have a great night! hugs and love xox
Hugs. It definitely sucks to be stood up. Glad you’re able to process your feelings and that your support system is strong! Many blessings on your upcoming date.
thank you friend, I really appreciate the encouragement. yes! i am blessed to have wonderful loved ones to process with!! 🙂 hugs xo
It is frustrating when Guys are pricks, who don’t have the decency to have some respect for the time and effort of any woman they have been a date (or several) with. It’s sad, that the concept of being a gentleman has gone out the window.
thank you, yeah it was pretty disappointing to say the least. I think the dating app culture has allowed guys to be able to get away with behavior like this. we need to raise them to a higher standard! hugs x
I completely agree, the last guy I “dated” (it was 3 dates and not much in the way of communication between dates after the first one), I had met through a dating site. That was the final straw on “looking for love”, since then, I need to meet the guy in real life from the get go. I am definitely holding each guy I meet and get to know to a higher standard of how they treat women, and people in general.
thank you so much frien d- I’m sorry you can relate so personally. best of luck on your dating journey!! will be praying for you! big hugs xo
😂😂😂😂😂that last meme. You know the saying, “it will happen when you aren’t looking for it”….yeah, that’s exactly how I met my husband (almost 24 years now!). Hang in there girl. He’s out there. You will know it without a doubt when you meet him!
haha thank you so much 🙂 You’re right – when I’m not looking for it! And thanks for sharing your beautiful love story! Gives me great hope. and congrats on 24 years!! that’s really something to celebrate! hugs xox
Oh, my, yes. When people show you who they are, believe them.
But, ugh. It is a blow to the ego.
And you do deserve better. Respect. Courtesy. Kindness. Honesty – which may feel unkind but not nearly as unkind as deception or lies.
Thank you Teressa, for your wonderful and encouraging words. Just a little courtesy is all I’m after!! hahaha And you’re right – nothing is more beautiful than the truth spoken in love 🙂 hugs to you xo
Honestly Caralyn, you are too good for this guy. Too many strikes, he’s out. Everything happens for a reason by His direction. I’d be really pissed too. 🙏🏻😳😎
aw John, thank you my dear friend. That’s exactly what all my friends said too. They were done with him after the first strike! big hugs to you xox
Your welcome Caralyn, I’ve been down some bumpy roads in this regard. Stay strong and well. 😎
xoxoxoxo 🙂 🙂
A kind display of grace and mercy on your part….
grace towards the first failed date
mercy for just moving and not choosing to be one those who wants to waste energy on making his life miserable.
listening to God’s whisper to move and remember you are HIS above anyone else’s
and how just being HIS gives you all the value in the world to Him is always the wisest way to go.
He loves you, Caralyn.
PS. Praying for your hardworking brother.
Thank you Gail, for your encouraging words. Amen to that – I am His about anyone elses, and I know that when the right man comes along, he will know and respect that too. I am so touched by your kindness. And thanks for your prayers! He’s a pretty awesome dude! 🙂 hugs xox
🙂 I’m sure he must be. The spirit of you and your mom is a great indication.
I use to have a brother who would come in from work, and fall asleep from exhaustion as soon as he sat in a chair or couch (even as a roofer with tar all over him), and didn’t move a muscle until he’s automated 5am alarm went off. Then off he went again to do the same thing… sometimes for days.
Gosh that sounds just exhausting. Yeah I mean if you’re tired you’re tired!! But there’s just a lack of respect by vanishing!!
Amen, Sister!! Doctor’s offices, workplaces, and so much will let you go if you are a no show, and write “no rehire” or some kind of note not to allow you back at all.
I’m glad you have your family for support too. The last line was cute. My brother used to ask me, “You want me to go whip his… ?” And while of course I told him, “No. He’s not worth you’re getting into trouble or going to prison, and it’s just not Christlike” it was pretty cool to know he was willing. 😉
hahaha aren’t brothers just the best? love your response to him!!!
<3 🙂
🤗🤗🤗
I broke up with my boyfriend in January. Well, technically, he broke up with me. We had been seeing eachother on and off for about 10 years. So you know I was shocked when he broke up with me because he didn’t get his way one day. Unfortunately for him, it was the second time. I gave him 5 days to change his mind – probably 5 days too many – and then I totally blocked him and made his wish come true. He sent me a text on Valentine’s Day – from a phone number I didn’t recognize. I didn’t respond.
You did the right thing. You are the Prize and he needs to recognize.
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. You deserve a man that recognizes the prize too! Our princes are out there, my friend! thanks for the encouragment! bigbig hugs xox
His loss not yours. You deserve a man who will treat you with respect, love you more than anyone else except God, and much more
Thank you so much 🙂 I really do appreciate that. And you’re right – it will be a beautiful, beautiful thing, when it happens! 🙂 hugs xox
As I would tell my daughter (and have!), that kind of behavior should be a real warning sign of worse behavior to come. When it happens it happens. You’re too good to stoop. Good decision.
Ted
thank you Ted, that really is terrific advice. A red flag for sure. thanks for the encouragement!! hugs xo
Yes! Believe them! That is inexcusable behavior and believe me, it likely wouldn’t improve over time. Shake the dust off your shoes and move on. Love is kind. Mr. Wrong was not.
Thank you so much Deanna! I really appreciate your encouragment. Amen – onto find Mr. Right! 🙂 hugs xos
oops? I didn’t know this was a secret blog.
hahahhaha well — only secret to him 🙂 does that make me a horrible person!?!?! eek! this has always been an anonymous blog! hah
Yeah, falling asleep before a date 😞, sounds like an excuse to me personally, but since he did it again you are in your rights to give up on him for someone else. Dating is mostly weeding out the bad apples. Eventually you’ll come across a good one.
Thank you friend, yeah – I’m pretty forgiving and easy going, but this was just….enough is enough. That’s great advice. thank you for the encouragement ! hugs xo
Good for you for saying “no thanks, next!” You deserve better!
thank you 🙂 yeah – I felt like Arianna Grande in her “Thank you, next!” song hahahaha I appreciate your encouraging words! hugs xo
Don’t settle! I’ve been reading your blog long enough to know you deserve the best 🙂
awww, that just brought a huge smile to my face. thanks again xoxo
This rustles much jimmies. Sounds like you dodged a bullet though.
Thanks friend. Yeah pretty disappointing. Ah well.. Onto the next! Hugs and love xox
My poetry book coming out admit something about about me that I NEVER thought I would admit. I finalized it last night and was like, “Do I really want to put this out there…am I going to embarrass myself?” Then I come on here and see this and realize this is WHY we right. To show folks they aren’t alone. Reading your post, though about different things, reminded me of why I am publishing the book. Thank you Caralyn for always providing quality content!
Your ending by the way – beautiful!! Loved that last paragraph!!
Thank you Shell – I really appreciate that. You’re so right! This is why! Excited to see your finished book!!! 🙂 big hugs to you xoxo
<3
xox 🙂
You’re a strong person, so feel sorry for him. He doesn’t recognize a quality product when he sees it so for the rest of his life he’s going to have to have second best, or maybe third best. Well, you get the drift. 🙂
thank you Ian, I really appreciate your encouraging words. hahah you’re sweet. hugs xox
God does have a plan for you… Hopefully the next guy won’t stand you up! Best of luck… ❤
THank you friend, I really appreciate your encouraging words! hugs xo
You’ll have to let us know how you get on..❣
i most certainly will! 🙂
Glad you are moving on. You did not deserve this. -Jeff
Thank you Jeff, I appreciate your encouraging words. hugs xo
Well written and handled. 🙂 I am proud of you. ❤
Thank you Claudette, I appreciate that. hugs xox
I have been where you have been many times. They say it will not happen again. the truth is that they are not telling the truth. They never planned on being there in the first place. You are a great lady who deserves a great man.
Thank you JB, I appreciate your support and encouragement. you’re kind to say that. hugs xo
You are very graciously welcome BBB. You are a kind lady. Hugs to you.
oxoxoxo 🙂
🙂🙂🙂
Lucky for you that he stood you up not once, which should have been at least a text, but twice so now he’s off has a big red line through his name on your “maybe” list
Oh, geez, this guy sounds like a loser. My best guess is that he lost interest in you and didn’t know how to say as much. His loss!! Anyone who can’t respect you enough to communicate is beneath you! I’m still holding out hope that God will find both you and me wonderful men!! 🙂
Thank you Meg for your encouraging words. Yeah, you must be right- or he met someone else! thanks for stopping by! hugs xo
Glad your getting out there. Your well on your way to a great guy, being open to opportunities and potential. It will probably be someone your surprised by that you end up with so stay open. Gods ways are higher than ours!
Thank you Lisa, I appreciate your encouragement. I love that idea – someone i’m surprised by! hugs xox
Sounds like you dodged a bullet! 😉 You’re lovely in many ways, and I have no doubt the right one will simply adore and respect you. A good relationship is worth waiting for…worth fighting for! Take it from me, I promise what God has in store is worth whatever it takes to get there!
thank you so much for your support and encouragement. you’re right – it is worth waiting and fighting for! hugs xox
Wow…I’m so sorry girlie you got stood up, TWICE. How MESSED UP!!! If anything, as much as technology seems to run our lives, I would think that he would have a few reminders set for the date. We can remember to bring our phones to the restroom but can’t remember to go on a date???? Whatever the excuse is… I’M NOT BUYING IT.
Continue to seek The Lord in finding the special man for you. He is faithful. In fact, pray your way through even dating the next lucky bachelor. May your dating venture be purposeful and blessed, gorgeous!
Thank you so much Lindsey for your kind words and encouragement. haha so true!! Amen – pray my way through – that’s a beautiful thought! big hugs xox
No problem. Praying my way through works for me. Sending Love and Big hugs
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Best clapback in my opinion. So Bravo 👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼 What if he’s reading this, 😏
Haha thank you 🙂 he doesn’t know what the blog is called so I highly doubt it! I sure hope he doesn’t! Haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
👍🏼
xoxo 🙂
Nice to see someone as nice as you get stood up twice…..sends a message to all those out there that anybody can get stood up! I see it a different way sometimes – guys run from a women who is too strong, cannot be manipulated, or is just too good for them. They go looking for targets that will make them feel superior or selfishly feed their egos all the while telling themselves fictions. Probably not this guy – though you never know. Man I loved the door shot – who would not want a key to those doors!
Anyway – trust and discern with God.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. You’re right -trust and discern with God!! Hugs and love xox
That is so freakin’ true. Too many horrible guys like that!
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“When people show you who they are, believe them.” What a great quotation!
More and more I sound like an old man, but I can’t help it…KIDS THESE DAYS!!! Whether in personal life or business I find myself constantly astounded at the rudeness and outright idiocy of the youngsters I encounter. No one is interested in the future. Everyone is interested in “me punching my ticket and moving on to greatness.”
Mr. Rude isn’t thinking that you might be the one that got away. He might not be old enough to know that “The Whirligig of time brings in its revenges.” Thank you Mr. Shakespeare. Julie and I have marveled at how people reap what they sow.
Therein lies part of your answer. Not promoting vindictiveness here, but you can take some satisfaction in knowing that justice always has the last word. Knowing that I’ve been less than stellar in all of my dealings keeps me from rubbing my hands in delight, but I do take comfort in knowing that people who are intentionally harmful will be subject to justice in some way.
You, my friend, are the flip side of that coin. Yes, I know you were not a nice person during your anorexia, but you have repented, are forgiven, and now brighten the lives of so many of us! That too will receive what is just.
Haha thank you Jeff. There’s a lot of truth here. the flip side of the coin – I am so touched by that. And I am embracing that more and more every day. Especially because it has brought me to where I am today. And gosh, you’re kind to say that. Thank you, Jeff. Thanks for brightening my day!! Grateful for your friendship. Hugs and love to you and Julie! xox
You’ve been brightening mine too for the last 3 years! Thank you!!
🙂 🙂 🙂 xoxo
Little relief tho it may be to a woman scorned, I offer these two poems to fortify your conscience.
Joaquin Miller – Columbus
Rudyard Kipling – The Female of the Species
Best of luck to you, and God Bless.
AMDG
-Scoot
Thanks Scoot for these powerful quotes! I appreciate it!! Hugs and love xox
Sorry about that my friend. As for me it has been so long since I’ve been on the “dating” scene I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’ve been married for 25 years but due to my being away due to my military obligations I’m not sure we will make it to 26. I have no desire to even think about that what ifs. I’ve got 6 more months until I get to come home for good and I pray that my wife and I can reconnect after 2 years away. May your week ahead be blessed my friend.
Thank you friend for your encouraging words. I will definitely be praying for your and your wife. 25 years is a lot of life and love lived together. That’s beautiful. I prayer that it is a smooth transition and reconnection. And thank you for your service to our country!!! Hugs and love xox
Thank you ☺️
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I cannot believe this! What is wrong with this guy? He’s beyond rude, he’s DC dumb, dumb DUMB! You deserve far better than this and I hope and pray for God’s perfect plan to unfold in your life.
Thanks Louie for your prayers. I know God’s got this! Hugs and love xox
Bummer…
Thanks David. Hugs and love xox
” When people show you who they are, believe them.” Going to remember that one. Caralyn, Like several others have already said, I would be ticked off too. Toads come in all shapes and sizes. Sorry you have had to deal with this toad.
Thanks DM. I appreciate your support. The right one is surely on his way! Hugs and love xox
I saw stuff like this happen to one of my daughters…(over the top disrespect) .Won’t go into it here, but I can just about guess how your dad was feeling..
Oh yeah – He had some *choice* words! Haha aw I’m sorry your daughter can relate!
Thank goodness he showed you who he was so quickly and well done to you for enforcing boundaries.
Thank you friend – that’s a really great way to look at it! Better sooner rather than later!! Hugs and love xox
Well he’s missing out, and yes you definitely deserve better than that. Good for you for having the wisdom to shut that door and opening your eyes to what God is showing you. He has big plans for you and when Mr Right walks into your life it will be well worth the wait. Until then, be patient and continue to stay true to yourself 💕🙏🏼
Thank you Lisa, I appreciate your kindness. I believe He’s definitely got a good plan! Patience is the hard part! Haha Hugs and love xox
Guys are such idiots. Why would anyone ditch their chance with you? He’s a dolt, a miscreant, a child. Oh well, like you said, it wasn’t meant to be. When I look back at my life, I see God’s work too. At the time though, it is so very frustrating.
Good luck with the next dude!
Reid
Thanks Reid, you’re kind to say that. Amen – God’s working!! Hugs and love xox
Oh girl. I’m a 26 single Catholic girl who knows the struggle. The dating scene is a hot mess these days to say the least. And after many frogs I am finally at a point of peace where my devotion is now focused on Him. I resisted for so long and so badly wanted a husband but now I know that I HAVE to have better standards. God is asking me to be patient and also to say no to several men and be picky. Stay strong. I’m in Kansas and its not easy so I can only imagine if NYC how difficult it would be. Pray and give it to God, lady. You are to smart for anything less than what God has in store for you.
A HOT MESS. Thanks Allison, so true – patience can be so difficult! Yes! Praying for you on your journey! God’s preparing our men right now! Haha Hugs and love xox
Wow! Their loss! Glad you skipped these walking headaches!
Thank you Gerry, I appreciate that!
@ the #livid never in a million years would I have guessed that. Just from the picture id say is she trying to smile at me ahould i smile back…
Gussing your mood from your expression is lose 100% of the time haha.
Ahaha oh yeah that’s my – I cannot believe you just did that and I’m ticked look!! Thanks friend. Hugs and love xox
Clearly, he’s a moron. Love your attitude, though. God’s preparing someone out there for you. Someone who will actually be worthy of the awesome person He’s made you to be.
Thanks friend – I do believe that with my whole heart: God’s in control! Thanks for your support. Hugs and love xox
Oh girl. You deserve MrGoesAllOut not THAT guy. Dating is so hard. I’ve had some tears and disappointments in dating lately. Sigh.
Let’s pray for each other.
Hugs and so much love.
-Melissa
Mr. Goes All Out! Haha love it!! Thanks so much Melissa! I’m sorry you can so personally relate. Amen to that! I will absolutely keep you and our future men in my prayers! Hugs and love xox
Thank you. Xoxo
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Huge thanks for sharing that. Not a lot of people would have put it back out with so much honesty. Sigh, another guy us “good guys” would like to disavow. Tell you what, I’m going to concentrate all my thoughts and send him a cosmic flick to the nuts. You’re welcome!
Thank you! hahah you’re funny hugs x
Dating can be so frustrating (I’ve been there). I see how this would have been disappointing and upsetting. If he has a cell phone, it is hard to understand why he would not call, text, or even set an alarm. Best wishes!
Thanks Marcelo – it sure can. Thanks for your support and encouragement. Yeah, super disappointing!! Hugs and love xox
I HATE when that happens haha But you have a great attitude!
Thanks Katie, i appreciate that! Hugs and love xox
Maybe it’s my age talking, but the idiot did you a favor. You should be happy you got rid of the bum! Now you can find someone who appreciates you.
Haha thanks – that’s a great perspective! Hugs and love xox
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Come to Texas and let me take you out.
Thanks Kevin. Haha yeah a Texas cowboy certainly wouldn’t have pulled a stunt like that! Hugs and love xox
I am so impressed how you are able to see through the angst and turn it over to God. You are strong and I am wondering if I can be as strong to turn over my angst to God. Thank you for sharing your rare emotions and seeing how God can be there all along.
Thanks Susan, i really appreciate your kind words. Oh yes – He is always always there! Hugs and love xox
Pardon my candor…but he must have a serious malfunction. I hope for his sake he’s in a hospital with a concussion…that would justify not following through with you.
You are a fine young woman with a good grasp on things…not as common as you might think.
What young men don’t see…
Haha awww thank you friend. I really appreciate your support and kind words. It means a lot. Hugs and love xox
Definitely his loss…he can’t get it together enough to be a gentleman. You will find better!
Thanks Stephanie, i really appreciate your encouraging words. A gentleman! Yes! That’s what I’m looking for! Hugs and love xox
They do still exist, they are just really tough to get to come out in the open
You’re right about that!
I have a few choice words for him too. Good perspective, especially the part about people showing you who they really are.
thanks friend, yeah – everyone in my family, and my friends – they were all pretty up in the bit about it too. Choice words to say the least! i appreciate your support! hugs xox
I hope this doesn’t sound harsh but maybe focus on someone just to hang out with or just as a boyfriend. As my mom might have said, “You’re thinking too hard”.
My wife came out of left field. I wasn’t looking for her yet she showed up, presumably when God decided she should. And that was a decade before His grace was amazing to me.
Thank you Janis – that is really great advice. that puts too much pressure on it! And thanks for sharing your story – God is always at work! hugs xo
You are absolutely right, better to stand up for your diginity. you deserve some real man who will respect you.
And always remember, you’re screening these guys for someone who will love you forever, in good times and bad and especially should you start a family, you’ll need a true man.
thank you Challen. I really appreciate your support and encouraging words. That’s such a powerful reminder!!! hugs xox
It’s his loss and, by the sound of it, your blessing. Any guy that would not have gone out of his way to make up for it is best left alone. You’re right – God is working. Romans 8:28 says that He is working all things together for good to those who love Him, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Never forget that! God has a great man in store for you – one who chases after Him.
Thanks so much Matthew. I do believe that – that He’s working all things together for good! I appreciate the encouragement! Hugs and love xox
His loss, beautiful. If he is such a jerk for not showing up, you win and see his true colors up front. Praise God! Better awaits. Keep your beautiful chin up and beautiful heart beating for God! Love you, as always! XO 😄 ❤
Thank you so much Tonya – you’re right. Better to learn that now rather than later. I really appreciate your encouragement! Much love to you, dear friend! Xox
It is a blessing to see true colors up front than struggle for years with them. Truth! God has much better in store for you but as always knows the perfect timing for you both. No worries, precious friend. 😄❤
Amen – it’s all about the timing, and I trust that there is certainly a reason for why God is waiting. I will trust trust trust. Very grateful for your support and friendship 💛💛💛
Grateful for you. You help so many people by sharing your life’s journey and thoughts. Your vulnerability expresses your inner strength and trust in God beautifully. Thank you for writing. Means so much!
Gosh that is seriously such a kind thing to say. I am so touched!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
Just knew you needed some truth to counter this snub from an unworthy. Jerks are everywhere, God loves you through the protection He gives you, disguised in the world as a snub. God loves you too much to let a jerk get too close to you. 😄
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Thank you for that beautiful truth!! AMEN!!
Caralyn, so on the first time he missed, did he contact you to say your sorry or was it a response to your inquiry of where was he? On the second time, did he/has he ever gotten back to you – it did not sound like he did. On my worst date, I would never do that . . .that’s amazing he has twice. What about him made you like him – maybe it was the inevitable anyway. But, I want to say goodbye, I know it won’t go anywhere, but I always seem to say, well you never know, then bam, they say it won’t work out. Now I feel dejected, rejected but it was my idea first. LOL. Dating is dating, God will lead you to the one. Glad you took it with a smile, don’t let those who set out to hurt you hurt you. God Bless!!
Thank you so much 🙂 and no – radio silence. Just so disappointing. I so agree – God will lead me to Mr. Right!! Much love xox
You are and your not, but be careful, you are in New York, but something tells me you are a country girl at heart. Not a lot of country in the city, if you know what I mean. Big Bear hugs coming your way! !
hahah total country girl! 🙂 — or at least, a solid midwest gal! hhaha
You deserve better and he definitely did you a favor! However that was rude of him and he could have let you know he wasn’t coming. What’s wrong with people?? But oh well, we live and we learn. Its not the end of the world. The right guy will come along when you’re ready for him. Trust the process! God knows what you’re looking for
Thank you Lane 🙂 I really appreciate your support and encouragement! You’re so right – gotta trust the process! God is in control and He is a good good Father! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
You’re very welcome! 😍🤗🌹💕 and yes he is 🌻🌻
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When you start making excuses for him in the beginning,it can only go down hill. That’s his way of lowering your standard.Therefore you will expect less of him each and every time.So much so that when he simply shows up in the future you honey are just happy he is there. Yes his loss though you most likely don t feel like that now. But as they say ” beautiful girl he is just not that into you” Good though dont start lowering your standards .Good luck and do not ignore red flags
You’re so right about that. Gotta keep that standard high. Thanks so much for your support!! Hugs and love xox
I’ve dated a few toads but it was worse than being stood up. . I’ve written about it recently on my blog if you wanted to check it out. My advice is to give the right guys the time of day and give the wrong ones the flick. Time is precious, don’t waste yours on jerks
Thanks Kelly – I will definitely check that out. I really appreciate your advice. Very true! Hugs and love xox
“…high-stakes job in NYC…”
Herein lies my question. Perhaps the individuals you are focusing on are not humble enough? Being too focused on the $$$ producing job, too focused on their penthouse, perhaps the focus is TOO materialistic?
This is not a diss, just an observation from someone who has been in this realm for more than five decades. The characteristics you’re looking for in a husband, you might find those in a person with more humble surroundings. The glitz, the glamour and the $$$ lifestyle usually doesn’t lend itself to a sturdier Christian foundation, one meant to grow a family. Don’t be dazzled by the “ooo, shiny” personalities…look for the diamond in the rough that will stand the test of time. Take it from someone who has “been there, done that”. It’ll save you years of searching and heartache…humble is better than shiny.
Thank you for this powerful perspective, Lisa. Yeah, I actually am not really all that focused on those things. I think that, by nature — ANY job in NYC is a high stakes job, simply because NYC itself is a high stakes city. You’re right – there is so much more to life than $$$! Thanks so much for this wonderful wisdom! hugs and love xox
His loss! Yes you deserve better than that… and you will not settle for less. <3
thank you Jan, I really appreciate that. i know God has someone in store!! 🙂 hugs x
If it’s any consolation: I was set up for a blind date, one of the worst of my life, and one day later I met my husband and we’ve been together for 17 years! You never know what the universe holds — just keep the faith!
Oh my gosh what a story!! Thanks so much for sharing! So beautiful – gives me great hope! Congrats on 17 years! That’s really something to celebrate! Hugs and love xox
This post reminds me of recent conversations with my daughters. They’re both in their mid 20’s and in the dating scene. My oldest told me the other day that she knows she needs to date to find out what she does – and doesn’t – want in a future husband. Both of my girls figure if it doesn’t work out, he isn’t “the one” and it’s time to move on to find him. God does have a plan, and that’s what my mom told me when I was searching for Mr. Right 🙂 Hope you have a great time Wednesday!! xo
That’s such great advice. Thank you Jenny! I firmly believe that: that He has a plan! I just have to keep putting myself out there and be patient!! Best of luck to your daughters! It’s a jungle out there! I’ll keep them in my prayers for sure! Hugs and love xox
Thank you, I know they’d appreciate that! It’s tough out there. I pray every day that they’ll find the perfect guy for them. And they will, in God’s timing. And you will too Caralyn! I’ll pray for that for you❤️
Thank you 🙂 I really appreciate your prayers 🙂 yes! In His Timing!
Leave that dork in the dust. There will be a guy for you who’s going to blow your socks off. God will bring him to you.
Thanks Kevin. Yeah, moving on up! I fully trust that! God will bring him into my path! Hugs and love xox
Delete his number and move on.
Thanks friend, onto the next! Hugs and love xox
I don’t know if you read my story titled Mushrooms, but you should. You deserve a guy who would eat mushrooms for you.
Haha thanks 🙂 will check it out c
Yes, you deserve better.
Thank you friend. I appreciate that. Hugs and love xox
Wow, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Dating is so difficult in this modern age, and it doesn’t help that guys these days are so noncommittal. Just remember – you are worth it. Walk away from people who don’t appreciate your value.
Sending hugs and love your way! 🙂
– Katie
thank you so much Katie, yeah the noncommittal aspect is really annoying! thanks for the encouragement! hugs xo
“FELL ASLEEP?!” Are you kidding me?… If I were him, I’d me too excited to sleep. OK.. you gave him the benefit of a doubt. But what was the excuse the 2nd time? Did he even bother to give an explanation?… Mr. “Stood me up twice” must be kicking himself right now. .
I suppose after the 3rd date, he must have thought the relationship is sure and become complacent OR, he’s got another girl in the running and he completely forgot about the plans he made with you.
The part you mentioned about guys having many girls on the line in the beginning stages of dating. If girls know this, then why do they get upset if a guy mentions that he is meeting another person?
If I was dating someone and I was going to meet another girl, I would be completely open and honest about it. However a friend of mine said that it was a bad idea to do so. He said that since there are no real commitments made at that stage, then there is no need and being completely open would be rather confusing…
To be honest, I’m rather confused myself right now… I always felt that honesty was the best policy, however it seems that not so in the dating scene. Its a game and you got to be a player.
Kind of affirms my stance in saying, “Girls Don’t Like Nice Guys” for most part, ‘cuz we’re not players.
I wish Mr. “Wednesday” best of luck and I hope he realizes how blessed he is to have a shot with you.
Oh gosh, thank you friend. You brought a smile to my face. Yeah – I think you’re right – probably just met someone else! it really is a conundrum with the whole dating scene. so confusing! hugs xo
If he met someone else, the right thing to do is to tell you without keeping your hopes up.. Or was he just stringing you along just in case the other one didn’t work out.
If that was the case, then he was just not into you and you were just a fall-back. That’s just disrespectful IMO.
I’ll tell you what Caralyn.. if I’m still single when I turn 40, you and I can give it a shot.. LOL.
I hope everything goes well with Mr. Wednesday.
I agree 💯💯💯 Haha thanks friend. Hugs and love xox
I can relate with this blog post. I’m even amazed you shared it here.🙂 Such boldness.
Sweetheart, let no man treat you like trash. You matter. You are special.
God is interested in your love story. One day, your man will come in through the doors, realise your worth and never leave.
Keep being you.
Keep following after Christ.
He will fix your love story.
You are amazing.😘😘
thank you friend – that is such great advice. And you’re so right about that!!! hugs xo
You’re welcome.💕💕
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My dear friend
Yes, it is God who brings a couple together and such a holy sacrament cannot be forced. Often it is by “chance” that a woman and a man come together and sometimes only a twinkle of an eye is enough “to know each other” – to know this is the right one. Of course we have to go through experiences and learn from them as well. You are a wonderful woman and may God bring you the right person by your side.
It is good that you always analyze the situations this will enrich your heart too.
From heart to heart
Didi
Thank you Didi for this beautiful encouragement. you’re so right – I firmly believe God will bring that right man into my life. big hugs xox
Big hugs, my friend 🙂
Didi
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You are do right about deserving better! This is one of the differences between a boy and a man; a man will make plans with you and follow through.
I’d have some choice words for the boy, too…
haha thank you Steve – AMEN TO THAT!!! hugs xo
Do try to stop trying and do let God act.
He knows exactly where you are and will send what and who you need. He has plans not so discernible but very real.
God bless you.
Hi Frank, that’s such great advice. thank you! hugs xo
Yes girl! This is amazing 💜
thank you friend. I appreciate that 🙂 glad you stopped by! hugs xox
I can’t even deal? Twice? Silly man, no manners! Good riddance!
no kidding!! thanks Vheedah! hugs xo
Love your writing style. Very engaging from the start. Keep it up. P.s soz you had to go through that (twice). But like you say, God’s got a bigger plan for us. We just can’t see the full picture from his perspective.
Thank you Gome, I appreciate that. And you’re so right – He’s got a plan! hugs xo
So, that was God’s ‘no’ 😊 for you. It’s so easy to look past the red flags. I know I do and after I’m like “hello!”.
You’re right – haha exactly. It’s like – hello, they were plain as day all along!! haha thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement! hugs xo
You may have tried this already to test or try to see if the guy fits your profile, if not within the first 5 or 10 minutes of the first convo mention God or Jesus. Like I’m blessed or I thank the Lord, etc. Watch their reaction and judge from that point if they are worthy of you & your faith.
Scripture only restricts interfaith marriages, not racial, not that thats an issue, but your faith should be and is probably the first criteria to determine compatibility.
Just a thought, God Bless & good luck.
That’s really great advice! thanks friend – amen – faith is definitely a nonnegotiable! hugs xo
Sorry to hear that, but at least you discovered his true colors! I’ve been out of the dating scene for quite some time, but it’s quite ruthless in NYC. I was wondering – would you ever date someone that had a different vision of a higher power? (Obv asking for a friend hahah)
thanks friend – you’re right about that – better sooner rather than later! That’s a great question – and to be one hundred percent honest, faith is a deal breaker for me. I believe that the best relationships and marriages have their foundation in Christ. I want to have that bond between us, and be able to raise a family in the same faith, so unfortunately, it’s a nonnegotiable for me! hugs xox
Great post! This would definitely be a great read for others in your situation. People take being stood up to heart. You didn’t let it destroy you and that is fabulous! I can’t wait to hear about Mr. Wednesday! 😉
thank you so much! haha yeah, I’m excited! hugs xo
There is a great dating book:He’s Just Not THAT into You. It’s from a guy’s perspective.
Some men are cowards. They cannot tell a woman they don’t want to date them so they behave badly. The excuse is, ‘I don’t want to be the bad guy’. The reality is, they are too immature to do anything difficult or uncomfortable, they do not care about other people’s feelings, they are too lazy to make an effort. I feel for you. I hated dating. It was horrible. I stopped dating, started courting and found my husband. I told ALL my friends and family that i was looking for a husband and to set me up with men looking for a wife. No more dating. The difference is both subtle and profound. Yes, there will be man-boys who will try and challenge your boundaries. Don’t give them a second chance. Have a mindset of an employer. You are ‘interviewing’ men to fill a once in a life time position: that of Husband and all that that word means to you. Serious applicants only need apply. You own no one an explanation, a second chance, a free ride for sleeping in and standing you up. It’s ok to stand your ground. Good for you for walking away from this one.
Thanks Melissa – i will defintiely have to download that book and give it a read. And thank you for sharing your story. Courting – i like that. Such great advice! thank you!! hugs xo
Great post. The Full House gifs were so appropriate. On to the next! 😄
Thank you Johnzelle 🙂 yes! onto the next! xox
His loss entirely. But not yours… consider it a bullet dodged and thank the Lord for sparing you the wasted time!
Thank you so much Heather, that’s a really powerful way to look at it! i appreciate it!! 🙂 hugs xo
Ouch…what a jerk 🙁 At least have some decency and show up when you say you are going to, or just don’t make plans! Sorry you had to go through this, but you are definitely looking at it the right way. Let God use this to help you grow and better prepare you for Mr. Right. When it happens, you’ll know. We are all here rooting for you! I especially love your last line….I hope he never does runs into any of the men in your family, lol! God Bless!
Thanks friend – yeah, it was pretty disappointing. And you’re right – God’s preparing Mr. Right’s heart and my heart! hahah I sure hope so too!!! 🙂 hugs xox
When I lived in LA (another big city), dating was the worst. But I have to say the same thing happened in which I felt odd that a guy suddenly felt sick but my friends told me it was ok and I need to relax and trust. So, eventually we get together and he ghosts me after that. I was mortified! The same week, another guy from my past came back but was engaged with a baby on the way. I was wondering why God was having me go through this as I’m moving to Charlotte, starting over. But it all makes sense now. I’m starting to date a great guy who also is in a good place. I think it matters that both of you are in a good place (so timing) and all of our fears are realized so we can: 1. Realize we deserve more than that BS 2. We can appreciate a good thing when it comes along 3. We can work through our past issues and fears that may have been buried underneath everything
I still get nervous but that’s what friends and God are for! 🙂 I will say that being ghosted after committing to someone and seeing a man I thought I would marry come back in my life were too big things holding me back. God’s timing is perfect. I don’t think I would’ve been as open to this new guy had that not happened (even though it sucks and we all deserve better than those yucky guys). I see great things ahead for you!! Keep going ❤️
Hi Christy! Thank you so much for sharing your story! Gosh, i’m sorry you had to go through that in LA – I feel like, especially in these big cities where it’s easy to be anonomyous, and unlike a smaller town where everybody knows everybody’s business, guys think it’s okay to ghost or worse. But I’m SO excited for you that you’ve found a great guy in Charlotte!! This is such great advice- I really appreciate it 🙂 I will keep you and your new relationship in my prayers!! big hugs xo
C, I believe every setback is a set up for something greater. – tsk
Thanks Tony – I love that saying so much!! amen! hugs xo
I feel ya! In the months before I met my husband, I dated around (while being totally up front with the guys about it). Back to back, I had a guy tell me he didn’t want to pursue even a casual relationship with me since I would not have sex with him (though, to his credit, he was surprisingly gentle about it), and another guy who, like your aforementioned dude, kept standing me up. There were a couple other colorful characters peppered in there, but you get the idea. Basically, there are a lot of women who have been and are in the trenches with you. It stinks, but it doesn’t last forever.
It’s like I read in my daily devotional yesterday: God is never late, but He’s also never early; He’s right on time.
Hi Monica, thank you so much for sharing your story. Oh gosh, I’m sorry you were shown that disrespect – not cool!! So glad you found your prince! 🙂 Oh I love that so much – He’s never late or never early. right on time. I’m going to keep that with me in my heart — so comforting. i appreciate you sharing that with me. big hugs xox
My favorite quote here is, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” As Christians we know what God can do in their lives, but as far as getting into a relationship with someone goes, let’s just say it’s better for God to bring them a little closer to his image before we dive in and get over our heads. So, from a mother and grandmother perspective, good for you!
Hi Bonnie! Thank you so much for your encouragement! You’re so right about that – God always knows what He’s doing, and sometimes it’s for our protection. hugs xo
Amen!! 😀
Thanks Jonah!! 🙂 hugs xox
Great interpretation of life’s circumstances! You are in His grip…but sometimes waiting in faith is the hardest part.
Thank you so much Daryl! You’re right about that – patience is not my strong suit! haha hugs x
I hope you find someone who truly loves you for you and respects you. Rooting for you always, friend! 💛
Take care,
Laura
THank you so much Laura, I really appreciate your support and encouragement! big big hugs xox
multiple girls on their roster…that’s kinda sad. Thus is life, though…unfortunately
Thanks friend – yeah pretty disheartening for sure. Hugs and love xox
He’ll come when you’re not looking. He won’t come when we’re actively searching. Surrendering yourself to God is so powerful – we want to feel like we are in control, but sometimes we have very little control over fate. God decides when the time is right. Dating sites can be both good and bad – plenty of frogs there too. Idk if you use a dating site or not but my friend is going thru a very similar situation (she hasn’t gone on an IRL date yet but is trying to connect with guys) and gets a lot of frogs as well…. I tell her patience. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.
That’s such great advice, thank you Hilary! I needed to hear that! Patience 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Don’t worry. It was his loss. The least he could have done was sent a text. There’s no excuse this time around. He wasted your time but like you mentioned God isn’t finished with you yet. Hold on. Look to the hills because God is surely bringing the right person your way. He alone is Faithful 🙏🏿. Great post 👍🏾😊
Thank you Karen, I appreciate your encouragement. Amen – He is in control! Hugs and love xox
Ah! Whoever that loser is, Caralyn, he not only has to watch out for the men in your family. How about that young lady with her finger pointing, saying, “You’re in big trouble mister.” That is who he better watch out for.
That person, certainly was not the man for you, Caralyn. God, in His wisdom, has your life in His hands now, as well as the “gentleman” who will be waiting for you as you walk down the aisle.
Each day is a day of preparation for the two of you. Preparation for the ministry you will be working in together.
Scripture says:
Ecclesiastes 4:12
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Caralyn + God’s chosen man + Holy Spirit is a three strand cord not quickly broken, in serving Jesus Christ, King of kings together.
God’s Abundant Blessings Caralyn.
Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘
Thanks George, I so appreciate this encouragement. And what a comforting verse! It really puts things in perspective. Thanks for sharing it with me! Hugs and love xox
😀🌹❤️😘🌹🌹
🥰🥰🥰
When God says “No” to something we want or hoped for, we should not be mad or frustrated. His NOs are always a prelude to the YES — the bigger blessings He had saved and crafted especially for us.
Hence, he is a big NO. Lol.
Thank you Tina, I appreciate your encouragement. Amen! He’s crafted a good plan for us! Hugs and love xox
He was showing you a preview of what you could expect from him…Good riddance!
That’s a great point! Thank you Krista! Hugs and love xox
Look at how beautiful you are, within and without. I’m not saying you’re perfect though, neither am I…but one thing I so much know we have in common is that we have same perfect savior. So keep it rolling…soon we’ll breakthrough.
Oh my gosh thank you friend for your kind words. Amen! Jesus is perfect! And so is His timing! Hugs and love xox
You have given me a opening to go kick a little Butt for you. You are so open that there may be a little fear factor looming in the back of the room. This is not a negative and you may want to make yourself aware. For whatever reason, this guy’s problem is that he has no sense of guidance. You continue, overcome the hurt, and use the time (wasted) with the upper hand. The best to you and find blessings.
Hahaha thank you friend. I appreciate your kind words and support. Hugs and love xox
I actually feel bad for the women he is not standing up. Some poor girl will marry him one day only to discover he’s a jerk.
Thanks, hopefully he grows out of it! Hugs and love xox
I hope you have a fantastic time on Wednesday! That a girl…
Thank you friend. Yeah! I’m excited!! Hugs and love xox
Hahaha….love this post, my friend. I find it hard to digest that someone could do that to you… but then I am a firm believer that sometimes what happens is for the best…and your guy, when you have to meet him, even before you call him yours…will be there at your door, five minutes early than one minute late. Take care and best wishes!
Aw thanks Vidur! You’re right – everything happens for a reason! Hugs and love xox
What is the name of Mr Idiot’s guidedog?
Hahah you’re funny, David. Thanks friend. Hugs and love xox
If someone like you gets stood up, I have no chance! You are worth so much more than that.
Oh my gosh thank you friend. No one deserves to be disrespected like that! Hugs and love xox
Everything has a season. In God’s time things will happen and it will happen for you. You are right you are better than waiting for some guy who doesn’t respect you enough to even text you which I feel is disrespectful by the way instead of a phone call. It will come and it will be right. Blessings
that is such great advice, thank you Corrie. And so true – God’s timing is everything! I really appreciate the encouragement! 🙂 big hugs to you xxoo
What God has for you, nothing or nobody can stop it! Keep on patiently waiting! Your season will come! <3
Thank you Sophie. I firmly believe that! Thanks for your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
His loss my friend
Thanks MCM, I appreciate it. I hope you’re having a great night. Hugs and love xox
Your very welcome my friend, and much love and peace!!
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I don’t know, man. 🤔
Thanks Kenzie☺️
I mean, there’s a lot of crappy rules. Three real dates, fourth one slumber party. You also mentioned you both expressed an interest but were dating other people? Very, high school. Hard to imagine long term with someone when there’s other someones. That’s my biggest Bachelor gripe.
To be clear, I was not dating anyone else. And I do not think he was either.
Do you know? You mentioned that’s normal for NYC. I was thinking, it was a binary trait. I agree about, the ego but disagree it’s like a self esteem thing, right? Ego, stands next to you. The shell, self esteem is the spirit, who we are.
Hmm I’m having a hard time following
Ego is just a shell. It’s why it’s fragile. Self esteem is the perception of the ego. That’s why I said it’s inside us. They are separate parts of how we see ourselves and what we show everyone. I know, you mentioned codependency, just trying to help (probably badly) to differentiate the ego and self esteem. Since, self esteem has a strong relation to codependency.
Thanks for the clarification. Also – What’s codependency? Haha I never mentioned it!
You mentioned you were reading a book on codependency when we talked in the cuffing season post. It’s a strange limitation, if you have low self esteem and maybe this guy is so great with a nice job or looks then you are validating your worth through him. Also, not having someone is rare as the constant need for validation through attention remains. I mean, it fits and it’s also pretty normal but it’s really reaching for something that will never exist. Especially for the partner.
Thanks
Ever been alone? Like, not searching for a guy.
Of course i have, Kenzie. Wow – I’m sorry you think I’m so shallow.
It’s not being shallow. I’d tell you. I think, if being with someone makes me feel less whole than the person I found being alone. I shouldn’t be there. Whatever, that type of love that is being offered. Codependency, feels like the reverse. I have to guess. I have to please. It’s my fault for trying. It’s just my, fault. That’s, not love but is what we call, love in popular culture.
Ahhhh ok. Thank you for going into more detail. It’s true – pop culture love is so so skewed in today’s world.
But, now we’re getting somewhere. What is built by your industry reinforces the need for women to pursue this as the only relationship. Especially, targeting women with already low self esteem. In a culture, that women have accepted as a normal place, with low self esteem.
Ok. And just to clarify: I don’t have low self esteem. I have come a long way in my recovery – thanks be to God.
Would you have waited if esteem was not partly the issue after being “stood up?” I bring, boring books on dates. If they don’t show, I’m still eating. 😁 If they do show, I appear very smart.
I wasn’t waiting at the restaurant. He just never followed up with our plans. So I was home. Nice touch with the book
I know you weren’t waiting at a restaurant. Its where I get stood up. Thanks for thinking about, me. 🙄 😂
I’m sorry you’ve been stood up before
Yeah. Good talk.
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Hm. In high school, we had bubbles around us that made us arrogant. The jock. The theater nerd. The artist. The regular nerd. This, is not high school anymore so we must turn that arrogance into real confidence. Be confident. They don’t deserve you. You are beautiful. Be beautiful and confident.