Well, this is embarrassing.
I was stood up. TWICE. Two weekends in a row…by the same guy.
Now, let me clarify — It wasn’t some stranded-at-a-restaurant-alone situation, like a scene out of an early 2000s rom-com.
No, it was a we-made-plans-to-go-out-on-Saturday-night, -and-then-he-never-followed-through situation.
And this happened two weekends in a row.
The first weekend – he said he fell asleep. Which – you know what…Fine. I have an older sibling who’s a hardworking doctor, and is so sleep deprived that he often times will fall asleep within 90 seconds of sitting down on a couch. Mr. Stood Me Up Twice works at a high-stakes job in NYC – I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I gave him some grace.
Well, this weekend…Saturday night rolls around, we had planned on going out all week. I had gotten a manicure, got my glam on with a great outfit, perfume, makeup, everything — 6pm…7pm…8pm… crickets.
I am just — baffled.
And I’m not dense. I’m not naive that — despicably — most guys have several girls on their “roster” that they’re actively dating in the beginning stages of getting to know a person. Sadly, that’s just the name of the game these days, especially in NYC.
But this guy and I – we’d been out on three dates. He seemed to be really into me…just…bad at dating.
And so, finally…after allowing myself to, admittedly be strung along now for far too long, I am going to respect myself and walk away.
Because I deserve better than that.
I mean, for crying out loud, at the bare minimum, I deserve a text that you’re canceling on me!!
I was pissed.
And yesterday, I took a walk to blow off some steam, and I was reflecting on the fact that – wow, I have been stood up twice. Frankly, if I’m being really honest, it was a bit of a blow to the ego. I feel a little gross admitting, but I never thought that I would be stood up once, let alone, twice.
I mean, I just believe that people are better than that! And maybe that’s a fault.
But I was thinking about it, and it hit me: When people show you who they are, believe them.
I don’t have many bad experiences with people — as a Strong Two on the Enneagram Scale (aka a desperate People Pleaser who’s deepest desire is to be loved) my interactions are 99.9% favorable. But hey, as the former president of a sorority, let’s just say, I’ve seen some things.
But in those rare occasions where I’ve been hurt, or taken advantage of, or simply just left with a bad taste in my mouth about a person — looking back, those behavior patterns were evident all along, I was just choosing to overlook them.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
But I think the biggest takeaway for me was that, God is working.
God is orchestrating exactly where I am, who I’m meeting, what is happening. God is in control. And perhaps God wanted to show me that, frankly, there are some frogs out there. Perhaps God was trying to show me characteristics that I don’t want in my potential husband. Perhaps God was trying to teach me that I need to stand up for myself and demand bare minimum respect and courtesy. There’s no time to waste with someone who’s not respecting you.
I do believe that God has a good plan for me. If I’m being really super brutally honest, I think I still have a long way to go before I’m truly ready to bring someone into my life, and share with them all of my imperfections and the broken past from which –by God’s grace– I’ve overcome. And I think all these experiences are just evidence of Him working on my heart, so I that I am ready to fully let someone in.
And I trust that, God is working on my future husband’s heart too.
I can’t rush God. I’ve got to just keep putting myself out there, open to whomever God brings into my life.
Which is why, I’m going out with another handsome bachelor on Wednesday. 🙂
Oh, and if for some crazy reason Mr. Stood Me Up Twice is reading this…a) Welcome to my secret blog. And b) The men in my family have a few choice words for you, sir.
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