20/20 2020

You want to hear something crazy?

There is one month left in this entire DECADE.

Yes – decade.

I mean, I remember when Y2K was a thing back in 1999. People were preparing for doomsday with canned goods and generators and bottled water. Meanwhile, I was just playing NeoPets on the computer, listening to Blue Da Be Dee on repeat.

But that was twenty years ago. TWENTY YEARS!

And now, we’re one month away from 2020 — the roaring twenties. And so now is the time to go for it. If there was ever a moment to take a shot, to burst out of your comfort zone, to do something a little crazy — now is the time!

Gosh, this past decade — it’s been quite a journey. I’ve truly solidified my recovery from anorexia. I’ve learned how to take care of myself – mind, body and spirit. And I’ve been working to create a meaningful life.

I’m not going to bore you by looking back. But I thought I’d take a minute to share what I want to take with me going forward into this next decade.

Because after all, hindsight is 20/20 – HAH! But for real – maybe the hindsight from this past decade can be a blessing this next go around.

1) Cherish Time with Loved Ones

Life is fragile. I’ve seen this with friends. I’ve seen this with my mom’s stroke. You just never know what is going to happen tomorrow. So put down the phone, be present with the people you love, and really savor every moment. Living far away from the people I love most in this world is really difficult. And quite honestly, it has me reevaluating a lot of things. But one thing I know for sure is that I will never EVER take a single moment we have together for granted. Life is too short.

2) Fall in Love with Taking Care of Yourself

This past decade was full of highs and lows for my health. Recovering from anorexia aside, battling such a severe Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2012 — which left me on bedrest for 11 months — truly forced me to have to learn how to care for my body, and quite honestly: kick any lingering ED habits I was still holding onto out of my life once and for all. I had to get serious about my complete spectrum of health: mind, body and spirit. And one of the biggest things was balance. If one of those areas was off: no bueno.

And honestly, thank you Jesus, for bringing the Specific Carb Diet into my life, because since adopting it in 2012, I have been symptom and medication free from my Ulcerative Colitis.

Which leads me to….

3) Trust that Setbacks are Actually Set Ups

Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be grateful for that year of bedrest from my Ulcerative Colitis. I mean, I was in a show in New York, I had to move home and live on my parent’s couch for a year as a fresh twenty-something! My world came crashing down. It was the biggest setback — aside from the anorexia — I had ever faced.

But you know what? It was actually the greatest set up of my life. Because I gained the greatest perspective and season of personal growth, that I could have only gleaned by going through such a tumultuous time. I learned perseverance. Faith. Trust. And — I finally kicked my unhealthy addiction to exercise, and adopted a three-meals-a-day lifestyle, that up until then, I had been skirting, due to lingering ED habits.

Not to mention, I loved getting to spend that special — albeit excruciatingly painful — time with my parents, and reconnecting with them as an adult.

God never lets our pain be for nothing. It will never be in vain. He uses it all, and will create something positive from it. We can trust that with our whole heart. And even though, in the midst of the suffering, it’s nearly impossible to see, God’s goodness will ultimately prevail.

4) Create an Environment Conducive to Blooming

Adopting recovery from anorexia can be challenging, because when you return to “the scene of the crime,” if you will, there will always be a shadow that follows you around, reminding you — and others — of your life in the eating disorder.

Memories are a powerful, powerful thing. And one of the most helpful decisions I made was to change my environment to be pro-recovery. I moved to New York. It was the clean slate I needed to create a life that was not overshadowed by dark memories from a destructive past.

5) Say YES to Life

This last one here, is the best, in my opinion. And one that I’ve really adopted here recently. After spending years in my anorexia isolating myself, and closing myself off to love and relationships — saying YES to life, to love, to adventures, to spontaneity, to FUN — it is amazing what it can do.

God created us to live life to the FULL. An abundant life, in every aspect of the word. A life enslaved to an eating disorder — where everything is stifled and suppressed, and closed off — it kills the beautiful part of our spirit that was created for community, and joy, and vulnerability.

Giving myself permission to feel those things has been the biggest game changer for me. And it all starts with the little word: YES.

We always ask God to show us His plan, and to change our situations — we need to allow Him to do so — and it starts with opening the doors that He presents to us. SAY YES!

So there ya go! This coming decade, I pray that we all can live in the beautiful, life-affirming abundance that God created us to enjoy.

The truth of the matter is that we are loved beyond our wildest imaginations. And the sooner we accept that, and then love ourselves in that same way, the sooner we can live FROM that joy that only He brings.

I pray that for me, and I pray that for you, my friend.

May 2020 be the year of living out 2019’s 20/20 hindsight!

What are some lessons YOU want to bring with you in 2020??

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.


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179 responses to “20/20 2020”

      • May your 2020 be awesome! Sometimes we want a stress free year, God often uses suffering to push us forward. Whenever I read your encouraging posts, I think Wow! If she could get through anorexia and UC, then I can beat what’s bothering me in time with God’s help. Maybe not tomorrow but 3 months? Six?

      • thank you! same to you! You’re right about that — He does what He needs to do to push us forward on His path! and oh my gosh — I am seriously so humble by that, thank you from the bottom of my heart. God is good and can bring us through absolutely anything! big hugs xox

    • Thank you so much! Maybe a little repetitive, but I’m a firm believer there’s never too much of a good thing! Haha 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  1. Beautiful post! 💖💖💖

    I just want to stay close with my family and true friends (learned a lot this year about who were true and who were not)… and be good to them as best I can. I also hope to continue bringing smiles to my readers. Hugs! 😀🦋🎉

    • Thank you so much Paula! That’s an important lesson to learn. I agree – quality over quantity!!! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  2. Time is a series of events and moves (it seems) dependent upon the circumstance.

    5 months since I last drank alcohol.
    1 year since my suicide attempt
    Almost 2 years since my marriage ended.
    Nearly 7 years since my youngest daughter was born.
    Nearly 12 years since my middle daughter was born.
    14 years since I tried and failed to be a pro wrestler.
    20 years since my oldest daughter was born.

    31 years since I lost my faith in Christ…

    The 30 years in between it coming back (thanks in part to my failed suicide attempt) were hard. But this past year has been enlightening. And I am optimistic about the future. Guided by God’s light I have direction now. And each day flies by now.

    I’m optimistic about the next decade.

    • Wow, thank you for sharing these incredibly personal milestones. Your journey in coming back from that event is incredibly inspiring. And I am so glad for that journey and your renewed dedication to life! praise God!! I’m optimistic with you!! Great things ahead!!! cheering for you my friend. hugs xo

      • Life is too valuable. I almost threw it away in the darkness. But now in the light I have hope. Hope that I can find redemption for my past.

        Promiscuity, substance abuse, self harm. Trying to find answers for that which was missing in my life. But there were no answers in the places I was looking. I felt truly alone. But now realise that at those points where I felt lost I wasn’t alone. Because if I were I wouldn’t be here right now.

      • I’m so glad you didn’t <3 Hope goes a long way, and I’m so glad you have it in your heart 🙂 You’re speaking my language — we look for it in so many dead ends. But you’re absolutely right – we’re never alone, even in those rock bottom moments, it’s when we’re in His arms, being carried through it. His strength is seen best in my weakness 🙂 sending humongous hugs xoxoxoxo

    • thank you Shell! I’m glad this came at the right time! i hope the decision making process is smooth and peace-inducing 🙂 big hugs xo


    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ If it Doesn’t Matter, Never Mind; if it Does Matter Be Mindful

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇



    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    So, You Are Scared of Being Dead Holding On to ALL that STUFF!!! that You Can’t Take with You when You Die; hmmm, interesting, SOMB (Rhymes with WOMB and is Soul, Observer, Mind, Body) which, or more Accurately Witch/Warlock, is ALL of Us so I Suggest Change Your Perspective and Watch as Amazing Things HAPPEN!!! for You…

    ♡ “The Trick is NOT!!! to Mind that it HURTS!!!” ~ ‘Lawrence Of Arabia’ and ‘Prometheus’ Movies


    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇


  4. Caralyn, it is time to embrace ourselves and enjoy life today. No looking back or beating oneself up for past mistakes. Loving who we are and where we are. Enjoyed your post. Love and hugs! xo

    • I think you’re right about that! onward and upward!!! gotta leave the past in the past 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by and for your note of encouragement 🙂 we’re right where we’re supposed to be, in His time! hugs xox

    • Thank you so much! Yeah that one was really the catalyst to my true healing. Nothing like a clean slate/fresh start!!! Hugs and love xox

  5. This year fly by, I mean it just flew! Where does the time go? I turned 39 two weeks ago and I feel like 29 wasn’t that long ago. Time flies by when you get older. I want to take happiness, love, peace, and blessings into 2020. You’re right cherish the time with your loved ones. Family is everything. Say yes to your life and take care of your body. We only get one! Great post my friend ❤🦋🌻

    • Time FLIES!!! oh my gosh happy belated birthday!! I love those things to take into 2020 especially peace!!! Family really IS everything:) so glad you stopped by Lane! Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  6. Don’t want to be *that guy* (but I will be): There are actually 13 months until the end of the decade. Decades end with the “0” year, not the “9” year, as do centuries. The first year of the 21st century, for example, was 2001, not 2000, and the first year of the next decade is 2021, not 2020 (which actually ends the 2010s).

    Only pointing this out because some of us may need more than 30 days to clean up our acts. 😀

    That said, a great post!

    • Oh interesting!!! I didn’t know that! Thanks for sharing that tidbit 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  7. Yep, I remember Y2K. It was a big fizz. I can remember being in our hospital IT department on conference call with those on the other side of the dateline and those who would experience midnight well after we did and watching with our IT specialists data processing in our systems to see if dire predictions would take place. Nothing happened and all was well. LOL

    • Thanks Ian! Wild time, that Y2K! Big fizz indeed. Oh wow – sounds like a moment you’ll never forget!! Haha yeah – I remember watching the clock too, wondering if it was going to go blank or something! Haha no stock piled food for us though! Haha Hugs and love xox

  8. Great post. I have to look forward…I have no choice! I want to kick anxiety for good.
    “Search me oh God and know my heart,
    Try me, and know my anxious thoughts,
    And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
    And lead me in the everlasting way”

    • Thank you so much!! Yes! I love those words so much – there’s so much comfort in our Father’s love. Here’s to looking forward!! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoyed the read 🙂 hope you have a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

  9. I would say create a old world similar to the one I lived growing up. Not relying as much on technology. Living in the moment. Doing more fun stuff with friends and even by myself to accomplish more. I know what I’m capable of. It’s time to reach that pinnacle.

  10. Thank you for sharing. I am hoping that 2020 has great things in store for YOU, and me. I will be ending this decade where I ended the last three years… on a train in Pennsylvania.

    • You’re kind to say that!! Thank you so much 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to read it! Hope you have an awesome weekend! 👍🏼 Hugs and love xox

  11. This post is so uplifting and heartwarming! I just celebrated my 5th year anniversary (and hopefully to many more in the future) from ED recovery so it’s always amazing to hear others on the continuous path to recovery! Keep fighting the fight and loving everyone around you!

    • Aw thank you so much Chrissie!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! And congrats on your anniversary! That’s so awesome, and I hope you can hear me cheering for you through the computer!!! 🥰 hope you have a great evening!! Hugs and love xox

  12. Blue his house with a blue little window
    And a blue Corvette
    And everything is blue for him
    And himself and everybody around
    ‘Cause he ain’t got nobody to listen

    DAMN YOU!!! Now one of the greatest songs ever is caught in my head!!

    • Hahahaha oh my gosh – yes!! I included a clip of this song on my Patreon podcast today, and it has been STUCK IN MY HEAD all day too!!! I agree – so great 🙂 haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

    • Thanks so much Ryan!! So glad it hit home with you tonight. You’re so right! Our pain is never in vain! He always uses it for good! Have a great night my friend. Hugs and love xox

  13. Wow! really liked your thoughts, you have a very positive way of looking at life. You seem to be a great learner from your own experiences and that’s really a great way to move forward in life. Your writing is an inspiring one! particularly liked the words ‘setbacks are actually setups.’ Keep inspiring and i wish you a healthy and happy 2020 🙂

  14. Great post! I feel like I’ve lived more life this year through my 54 Before 54, I’d like to continue on that path. Its enriched my relationships, faith, serving others, while teaching me a whole lot of life lessons. I’m finishing this year on a high note 👏🏻😊❤️

    • Hi Lisa!! Oh my gosh that makes me so happy to hear!! Hooray for life!!!! I’m cheering for you my friend 🙂 I hope that continues and accelerates in 2020! Thanks so much for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  15. Thank you, Caralyn, for your words: “We always ask God to show us His plan, and to change our situations — we need to allow Him to do so — and it starts with opening the doors that He presents to us. SAY YES!” I’ve written them in my margin by Proverbs 3:5-6.

    • Hey Broose! Oh my gosh, I am so touched that you would write that in your bible! Wow – I am humbled. Thank you friend, I’m glad it resonated with you 🙂 I hope you have a great weekend. Thank you for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  16. The Beatitudes are the road Christ gave us to walk. Not “Blessed are..” but ” walk forth in” . The Beatitudes are an invitation to stand up, to arise and become the person that Christ was. Listen to the Love that is in you.and walk in righteousness. Become both more human and more divine .When you add these 8 to the greatest commandment to love thy God and the second commandment like unto it to love thy neighbour as thyself you get a new and powerful ten commandments written in your hearts. A map to the Kingdom of Heaven. Christ is telling us to become meek, to be peacemakers, to hunger for justice, to be merciful, to be pure in heart, etc… These ten fulfill the original ten. How about living the Beatitudes life in the upcoming Twenties?

    • I love the beatitudes so much. He really spells it out as plain as day!! It’s a great instructions manual 🙂 yes! I love that! A beautitudes-filled 2020s! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  17. Loved reading this. This past decade has been an ordeal for many of us. To answer your prompt I am going into 2020 with an attitude of yes to me! I intend to do life right and to be my most authentic self!

    • Thank you so much! An attitude of yes to me! I love that! I hope 2020 is filled with joy and abundance! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much! Yes! Now is the time! No time like the present! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  18. Y2K. Gosh, we as a team travelled South Africa like cybervangelists. My huge project never missed a beat but others didn’t listen and there was chaos in retail, telecoms, municipal billing & accounting, etc.

    • THank you so much Greg! Oh my gosh, you’re kind to say that :)Yes! Let’s move forward with excitement and with the lessons we learned this past decade! big hugs to you xo

  19. You say, “The truth of the matter is that we are loved beyond our wildest imaginations.” That is so true.
    As I approach the end of my seventh decade, God has started to make that very clear to me. It’s a tremendous comfort.
    Thank you for the work you do spreading the good news of God’s love through your blog.

    • Thank you so much Penny for sharing that! A tremendous comfort indeed! It really gives us so much freedom when we live from that truth! big hugs to you xox

  20. 2) Fall in Love with Taking Care of Yourself and say yes to life!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POST!!!!! I am giving it all the stars, hearts, thumbs up and likes. Amazing!!!! Thanks for sharing

    • Thank you so much!! Yes!! Oh good, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! hahah awww, you’re too sweet. THANK YOU!!! Big big hugs to you! have an awesome weekend! xox

  21. I recall Y2K too clearly! All I can say is that it was a great time to be in computer programing. Those guys made billions!

    I guess we won’t take too much time looking in the rearview mirror, but I can’t help remembering you when I first met you online to now. I am so pleased that you’ve come so far, so happy for you!

    I pray that things continue to develop for you! I pray that you will start getting more speaking engagements so that you can help more people. You did a lot of good from Memphis, especially with the live streaming!

    2020 – There is a lot of upheaval coming at work, so I’ll need to just be open to whatever happens and pray for God’s help in moving ahead; setbacks vs. setups, eh? I guess that’ll be my main focus! “Saying yes!” I bought that ring light and decided I needed a backdrop. I’ll settle on a headshot this weekend and start submitting to agencies. I’m very nervous about it, fearing total rejection, but I’ll say yes for now and see what happens.

    Thanks for your friendship and support. Thanks for coming to Memphis! Thanks for blooming!

    • Oh my gosh – those computer programers made out like bandits!! haha, thank you so much for this encouragement, Jeff. You’re right – looking forward is the best thing to do. I pray that too! thank you for the prayers! I will definitely keep your work in my prayers too – I’m sorry to hear about the upheaval. Yes — set ups! I’m excited for you about the headshot!! That’s so awesome — if you want to send me your options for a second opinion, I’d be happy to help choose one! (( I know picking one can be like splitting hairs)) haha Grateful for you, Jeff! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and good luck with the headshots!! ((Also a blank white wall is a perfect backdrop!) 🙂 hugs to you and your girls xox

      • Thank you, Caralyn! I’ll send you a few that I like. All of our walls are yellow-ish and come out pukey, hence getting a backdrop! An objective eye is much appreciated. Safe travels as you head home for Thanksgiving!

      • Awesome! Haha yeah – even just a big piece of roll paper – like they put over tables at restaurants. Works great 👌🏼 thank you!!

    • Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you did! glad you stopped by 🙂 have a great weekend! hugs xox

    • Hi Natalie! Yes!! those are great goals — i am right there with you 🙂 those are important! Have a beautiful weekend! big hugs to you xo

  22. yes, yes, 2020 what a blessing to enter into it. God has set us all Up for such a time as this. The vision is already set-up for me, and I am taking off with all force under my wings. May God bless and keep us in the path of light and accomplishment for His namesake, and through it, we will give Him the glory. Thank you, God, for a decade of victories, and set-back, they were our strength to overcome. And thank you BeautyBeyoundBones for this wonderful post. May God keep and bless you.

    • Thank you so much!! Yes! They definitely are – what we learn and the perspectives we gain from those “setbacks” are invaluable, and a springboard for going forward!! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  23. First off thank you so much for following! Awesome post. Set backs are actually set ups. I never thought of it that way before. Makes total sense! 2020 is going to be a great year!

  24. It’s almost too hard to believe!!
    I’m loving all that cute jokes!
    I love that idea of thinking of a set back as a set up! <3
    Praying for you, Caralyn! Me and God love you! <3

    • Thank you so much! I’m so glad you thought so!! Have a great weekend 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  25. Congratulations! You’ve come a really long way from the time I started reading your posts. God bless you more.

  26. One thing that’s pretty far out to think about is that we’ve already spent most of the time that we will spend with our parents in the past. So if we value those relationships it’s good to think about ways to still give them time.

    • Oh my gosh this struck a spot in my soul this morning. Going to call my parents now. Haha thanks for stopping by Hugs and love xox

  27. I just spent ten years (2008-18) as a caretaker for my mom while she slowly withered away from Alzheimer’s Disease. It took a huge toll on my health too, although I am gradually gaining back muscle and weight. Dad was a Vietnam Veteran and died of a brain tumor in 2001. These days I am thinking about that ‘precarious hang gliding flight’ I have always wanted to try one day at the nearby Outer Banks. Of course, I’m petrified of heights, but why should that stop me? (ha ha) My mom and dad loved Elvis and the 1950s, and now I love memories of the 1980s, especially at our local Busch Gardens and Water Country USA. Each year seems to go by even faster than the previous one, so I try to catch as many sunrises and sunsets as I can each week. Money is nice, but the way we spend our time is of the utmost importance. As Mark Twain penned so much better than I ever could ‘there isn’t time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.’

    • Oh John I am so sorry to hear that. Gosh that breaks my heart. Alzheimer’s disease is so tough. I hope you get to do hang gliding. It would certainly be a pinnacle of a challenging journey for you. Only time for loving – what a powerful thought. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox

  28. You need to go back to the beginning.

    In kindergarten. The first number is ONE. One is the loneliest, in kindergarten. It took an entire year to get to First Grade. The decade has one more year which begins on January 1, 2020. That WAS the Y2K problems. I thought the universe figured it out.

  29. Neopets! I had completely forgotten about them. And I can’t believe 1999 was twenty years ago…wow.

    I’m a recovering people-pleaser, so 2020 will be the start of a new decade where I pay attention to the little internal red flags when I realize I may be going along with something just for approval’s sake, and not because I genuinely want to or agree with it. I have to work on conquering my fear of “doing it wrong” and just jump in and help someone. And I’m going find five simple meals that I’m able to cook, by the end of 2020.

    • Hahaha blast from the past right?!! I know – WILD. yes!!! I love your intention for 2020 – I can definitely relate! And woo! What a great goal for the five meals! Let me know which five you decide on – I need some inspiration! Haha have a beautiful afternoon! Hugs and love xox

  30. Love, love, love this post. A timely reminder of what’s important. Thank you for articulating this so well. You have an amazing gift with words.

  31. “God created us to live life to the FULL.” Amen.

    “I came that they may have life and may have it abundantly.” John 10:10 blb

    • Thanks so much TaVon!! So glad you stopped by! Hope you have a beautiful thanksgiving! Hugs and love xox

    • oh no!!! that’s terrible! i’m so sorry to hear that happened 🙁 Yes! keep at it!! hugs x

  32. Reading what you’ve overcome and how much you love life is truly beautiful! I’m happy you are healthy and enjoying life.
    Also…. 1999 to 2020…I feel old. 😅

    • Oh my gosh you’re so kind to say that. thank you so much! I know!! 1999 seems like only 10 years ago!! thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

  33. Great post. Oh, and just an FYI. At least the Computer programmers we knew didn’t make anything extra when Y2K happened. They were salaried employees (not paid for overtime even though they worked a ton of overtime). I remember those days clearly. The company I worked for had to change and retest a ton of software and get it sent out to the customers in time. If companies like ours didn’t do that there would have major issues around the world. So besides wondering about our own families everyone was super stressed out at work. I am hopeful for the next year. This year definitely had it highs and lows.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Oh woods that’s such fascinating insight!! Wow. I’m hopeful for next year for you too 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  34. Thank you for your wonderful post. It sounds like you are striving not only to be faith filled but also a great, encouraging and enlightened role model for others. Take care of yourself.

  35. Great post. Thank you for sharing your story, vulnerabilities and all. I love that idea, living 2020 with 20/20.

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