I definitely saw some pretty crazy and intense things during my three-month stay at inpatient. There was one girl who came in for bulimia, and during the morning weigh ins, she would somehow smuggle rocks in her undergarments to make herself weigh more. Like I said, every ounce counts at inpatient. This was the sameContinue reading All About Control
The Golden Road to Hell
The days at inpatient were long, regimented, and monitored. You ate three meals a day and two snacks between meals. You would have a therapy session every day, either one-on-one with your shrink, or in your “home” group of 4-6 girls. Free time was spent reading, playing cards, doing art, coloring – yes, adults coloringContinue reading The Golden Road to Hell
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Guilty Until Proven Otherwise
I don’t know exactly how long I was in that back room that first day of inpatient, but it seemed like hours. I got weighed. Examined. Blood work done. Vitals taken. During my first 2 weeks, I had to have my vitals taken every 3 hours. And I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere on theContinue reading Guilty Until Proven Otherwise
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Go Big or Go Home
Inpatient was hell on earth. And I say that in the most loving way possible. I will say this: it saved my life, but it did not “cure me” of my eating disorder. I showed up at 78 pounds, barely holding on, and left 87 days later, 25 pounds heavier and physically stable. But that’sContinue reading Go Big or Go Home
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The Intervention
My getting to inpatient hospital was strictly against my will. I was 18 years old my senior year and legally an adult. Therefore, my parents could not legally commit me: I had to make the decision to go myself. Like that was going to happen… An intervention was staged with five days left until graduation. First,Continue reading The Intervention
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She has to want to get better
I was at inpatient for three months. Well, let’s be honest. I was there for three months minus three days. I was “better” for two months and 27 days. Then for the last three days I internally freaked out that I was nearing my “safe weight,” which to be clear was still significantly less thanContinue reading She has to want to get better
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Who am I?
Who am I? The healthy young woman in front of you today is not the same person she was eight years ago. I have seen things. Experienced things. Know things that can only be learned through pain. Desperation. And deliverance. Who am I? I’m a young lady who has recovered from anorexia. And I’m sharing with you myContinue reading Who am I?
