If you’re reading this, I’d like to welcome you and give you a hug.

Maybe you’re the parent or loved one of someone suffering with an eating disorder. Perhaps you’re in the throes of anorexia yourself. Maybe you think you may have the beginning stages of disordered eating. Or perhaps you’re on the journey to recovery.

Whatever has brought you here, I hope that through the story of my brokenness, and redemption through the Lord, you are able to find hope, encouragement, advice, healing, support, and comfort.

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This blog chronicles my journey from severe anorexia to recovery, and every twist and turn along the way. The blog posts are meant to be read from beginning to end, as a book. (( Glorious Wounds is the Introduction.)) So I would suggest reading “up” — starting from my oldest post, and working backwards to the most recent. This is my first post.

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I must warn you that the beginning is very dark — intense, raw, and despairing. It is an uncensored view into my mind when I was deep in my anorexia. However, I chose to be vulnerable and share that utter brokenness — that wreckage — in order for you to truly grasp the gravity of the disease, and how sincerely meaningful freedom through Christ has been in my life.

I also hope that you’ll find the resources section of my blog helpful. If you or a loved one is suffering with disordered eating habits, please seek professional help.

With that being said, I am not a doctor. I’m not a therapist, dietician, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. I’m just a girl. Who had a severe case of anorexia. And who is journeying through recovery, one day at a time. I’m just sharing my story with the hopes that it will help even one person.

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***To get a copy of my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones, click here! 

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A big thank you to my new sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

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2,012 thoughts on “Read This First”

      1. You must be a beautiful person to share your deepest thoughts which can be far reaching. I facilitate deep level prayer healing and I have seen broken people and after they had tried a variety of treatments, prayer was what worked the best. Physical and spiritual trauma cause deep wounds and they manifest in different ways such as:- anorexia, sleeplessness, obesity, promiscuity, gender confusion etc….. The enemy hates everything God has created and what God loves and he will try to destroy, kill and harass everything he can latch onto to. Prayer and the covering of the blood of Jesus Christ will overcome any assignments the enemy has installed. May you always be covered by the power of the living God-JC.

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  2. Thanks for your openness and honesty. Too often, people try to sweep things under the rug and pretend they don’t exist. Judging from all of the comments, it would seem that you have struck a chord with many, many people. I believe that it is your honesty that has inspired them. A broken vessel pours more water. Keep up the good work, and keep pouring yourself out for God.

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    1. Hi Joshua! thank you so much for these words of encouragement. God is good! i owe everything to Him, so how can I not sing His praises:) but truly, thank you for these kind words. it means a lot. hugs and love to you xox

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  3. People always say our tests become our testimonies. We don’t want to hear that as we go through. Your true testimony even if you are still on your journey, is that you’re finding the strength to tell it for the whole world to see. See you open. See you vulnerable. See you honestly. For that my love. I am sending you love and more strength. One our at a time. 💜

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    1. Thank you so much! what a beautiful reflection. i really appreciate it 🙂 you’re right – we learn and grow from every experience we go through – both good and bad. thanks for stopping by! hugs and love to you xoxoxo

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  4. You are very courageous! In sharing your story, you help bring awareness to others who suffer from and those who love and care for sufferers of eating disorders. Thank you for taking time to like my blog post. I’m going back to start reading from your beginnings.
    Blessings to you,
    Clara

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    1. Thank you so much Clara. That really means a lot. It is my deepest prayer that even one person can find hope here. So thanks for this encouragement. Hugs and love to you! I look forward to reading more from you! Xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear BeBeBo:

    Thank you for visiting my blog and liking my recent post. Your own personal story is one of the most impressive and glorious I have seen on WordPress. Please continue to celebrate Him and know you have yet another fan in me as well.

    God bless,

    Jay Pochapin

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  8. Transparency is such a necessary tool. I am inspired and encouraged by you sharing your story. Though I have never suffered from an eating disorder, I think many of us can relate to a distorted image of ourselves, a head space where we never feel skinny enough or curvy enough or pretty enough. So,thank you for documenting your journey and being a vessel for God to use. I pray you never forget that we do not walk alone but always with Christ inside of us. God bless you.

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    1. Thanks so much Jasmine. That really means a lot. You’re right, we all have our different “things.” How comforting to know that Jesus is the source of our worth and loves us no matter what. Thanks for this encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  11. Thanks for liking my last post, but really thank you for being so real and honest on your blog! As the father of a beautiful little girl, the idea of her going through this terrifies me. I got a little choked up reading about you seeing your dad through your ED. It’s awesome to see God’s redemptive work in action. Keep up the good work!

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    1. Thanks so much for this reflection. Yeah, my father is an absolute gift from God. I am so blessed to be his daughter. My mom too. They are my rocks. 🙂 thanks for the encouragement and taking the time to read. Have a wonderful evening! Hugs xox

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  12. Wishing you well on your journey to healthiness in all of its wonderful permutations! Thank you for stopping by my blog!

    Peace!
    Tamara

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  16. I see you liked my post so I felt compelled check yours out.. We both realize that in all our trials, God brings beauty out of ashes. Thank you for being brave and sharing how He is walking you into the beauty He sees.

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  19. You are such a strong human being you inspire me. Thank you for the work you are doing and for stopping by my blog and liking it. Please keep up the good work. You have so much to give.

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  20. I love your rawness. Not only are you writing and healing yourself but your work indirectly is helping to heal others as well and that is something that is special. I wish you the best.

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  21. Stopped in to see who just liked my most recent blog post. I’m glad I did, as your blog mission speaks of something I relate to. To look at me now, one would not know I once spent years in the bondage of anorexia. My heart (literally speaking) bears some effects from it, but God, in his love and mercy, has done so much healing in me– spiritually and physically. I hope His love shines through in what I share when I blog. And I look forward to following you as you share of your journey.

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  22. Thank you for stopping by my blog and for the “like”. Your courage in “putting it out there” is an inspiration. God is still the God of the miracle. Be Blessed.

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  24. Thanks for checking out my blog. What you are writing on your blog is surely inspirational to others. May God inspire you to continue. Grace and peace from Ray Gough, Ray of Hope Ministries, “Todays Enlightenment blog” rohmnj.wordpress.com

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  26. Hey, I just wanted to say I think you’re absolutely amazing for starting this blog (and a total warrior for overcoming what you did). Not only do you have amazing and insightful thoughts about such a dark and troubling topic, but the way you’re able to express them is warm and comforting. Thanks so much for checking out my blog, and I look forward to checking out more of your posts.

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  28. Good Afternoon BBB from a grey old England! You are a faithful friend to Agnellusmirror and that is much appreciated! Your work is sure to be of help to some of your readers, so keep it up! WT

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  31. I wanted to thank you so much for liking my posts daily for the past several weeks. It really blesses me, especially when I think so few are reading. Hope you are blessed!

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  32. Thank you for so clearly, honestly, and informatively writing about a difficult subject. I have a friend who struggles with similar issues to yours, and I think your blog will be quite helpful. I’m looking forward to reading more. Thanks, as well, for stopping my my blog. Hope you continue to enjoy it.

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  34. Thank you once again for stopping by my blog post (Tumbleweeds) ..it was an encouragement…just wish I knew how to get my comments box to work like yours.
    Will keep working on it…there has to be a solution.

    Keep writing! God bless.

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  35. @beautybeyondbones thank you for the very first like on my blog! I admire your courage and willingness to ENcourage others. I happened to wake up in the earlier morning hours today, and thought immediately about this new challenge I feel like I’ve been nudged towards in seeking and sharing God each day for the next 30 days, and I thought, “Oh I hope at least just one person has been touched by the beginning of this effort, just one!” I prayed a quick sleepy prayer just asking God to show me a little light, if He saw fit at this time, in that hope. I took a quick look at my phone screen, and there was my notification of my first “like,” from you. Just want you to know it was so encouraging to me, and it was evidence that folks are seeking God. Thank you, and I look forward to keeping up with your success. You are doing a blessed thing. If I can ever pray for you in any specific way, I’d be honored if you’d let me know. Carry on, and blessings to you. –Rilla James

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  36. Hi BBB, when trying to make a blog read in sequence like a book it’s a real problem but by using the pages feature you can do it. Each page can be a chapter or entry and they are static, never changing location. WordPress is great for this. Thanks for your blog and for visiting mine. C U around!

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  37. Dear Overcomer and vulnerable one, I have known and loved quite a handful
    with food disorders – such a painful journey. I am new to this blog world, but appreciated your liking my welcome. I will take reading through your blog slowly as this topic has left scars on my heart from walking with others in this darkness. May I ask where you are in this wide wide world? May you daily shine in the knowledge that you are princess of the High King, loved and treasured. blessings and prayers, mama g.

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  38. This is amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey of healing. The dark and the light, we all have them both. God bless.

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  39. Only scraping the surface of your story and feeling grateful already that you have chosen to share.
    Thank you for liking my story, it’s been a tough year and one thing that I didn’t mention was that my now-ex boyfriend kept referring to how skinny I was getting, even as we broke up, without thinking maybe it was the stress of everything that was happening that had something to do with it.
    I look forward to reading the highs and lows and knowing that it’s okay to struggle with control over food, especially when I’ve lost control over a lot of other things in life.
    If I may I’d like to save some of your pictures, if that’s okay 🙂
    Sending positive thoughts your way!

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    1. Hi Katie! Aw thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to say:) I’m sorry you’ve been going through a break up. That is always so hard. The right man is out there for you☺️ thanks for stopping by! Sending big hugs and lots of love xox

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  43. Thank you for liking my post on my blog! I just want to thank you for being so open and honest. It really helps to not hide the illness away, but to give it a voice. Being open is better 🙂

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  45. Thanks for liking my blog… really, I am thankful, because it led me to you. I was once where you once were. I am forwarding your blog on Facebook because of women I know who are caught up in the madness. Thank you.

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  46. Thanks for liking my posts! I haven’t had the same struggles, but certainly have had my own, and family members with substance abuse issues, etc…it’s great you are encouraging folks who may feel all alone in their struggle.

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  49. Thank you for stopping by hisnamebpraised and liking the post. Praying that you have a most blessed Easter Season and continue to be blessed on your journey of healing and discovery. In the Name of Our Risen Lord Jesus Christ. Take care, Doug

    Like

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