So many times in our lives, we’re confronted with situations involving pain: be it emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally — suffering comes in all shapes and sizes…but all of it valid, and as a general concept: ultimately unavoidable.
And I promise that this post isn’t depressing…just hang with me here for a hot sec.
I’ve dealt with a lot of pain in my life, but the majority of it — my ulcerative colitis and anorexia — has been physical or mental. Which, each has its own particular challenges. But emotional pain — that is a different species all together: one that I had never truly experienced.
Emotional pain hits you to the point you cannot breathe. Where the emotional strife is so acute that it can actually manifest itself physically: sweating, chest pains, gut pains. That level of emotional pain is reserved for very rare occasions in life. And usually, that type of hurt is something that, for one reason or another, you cannot talk about with others….which is what makes this type of pain particularly difficult to cope with.
Which is exactly where Jesus comes in.
Recently, I went through something and all I could do was to go to daily Mass and just sit (or rather, sob) in the presence of Jesus and pour my heart out to Him. To just let Him have all my hurt and pain and just surrender it over. It was one of those situations where I had no idea what to do, nowhere to turn, and it was literally all I could do, or wanted to do was just escape to Jesus.
I learned early on in life, navigating those seasons of Ulcerative Colitis and anorexia that truly, when you feel desperate, alone, and out of options: there is but one source of refuge and rescue: the arms of Jesus.
But letting go of this emotional pain was really hard. It took days and days to really let go and find healing. And let me tell you — I can only imagine what people must have thought seeing a really pregnant woman sobbing her eyes out in the back row of church. (Everything is fine with our baby, BTW).
But Christ’s healing finally broke through yesterday. I was asked to bring up the gifts during Mass. (Which for my non-Catholic friends is when two people from the congregation bring up the bread and wine to the priest in preparation for the Eucharist).
And as I was bringing up the gifts, I just imagined my hurting heart in that bowl, along with the bread. I was offering it on the altar for Jesus to transform, just like He does the bread and wine.
That was when the healing broke through. And I just sat there, looking at the crucifix behind the altar. It has Jesus’ body with outstretched arms, hanging on the Cross, and I heard Jesus tell me, “I love you *this much*” just like a child tells his parents he loves them ‘this much’ while gesturing as wide as his wingspan.
Jesus had heard all of my prayers, all of my cries, felt all of my pain — He saw it, He knew it, and He took it and transformed it into peace – healed by the power of His love.
And afterward, it was as though a weight had been lifted from my heart. That part of me that felt shattered and broken was no longer all I could see and feel and think about. I could breathe.
And leaving Mass, I realized that I needed to offer that same outstretched arms-kind of love. That was going to be the measure of true healing.
We are all called and invited into Jesus’ suffering. And like Jesus, we must also transform that suffering into love, just like He modeled on the Cross.
It is a task that seems impossible at times. But with genuine and earnest surrender, and letting Him into your pain, He will take it and redeem it fully.
Until Wednesday, friends.
xox Caralyn
BeautyBeyondBones 
Nice to know you are in sync with Jesus.
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Beauty in the pain only through Jesus. Thanks for sharing.
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Do you know the old hymn “What a friend we have in Jesus”? That’s what came to mind as I read your post. Thank you for sharing – Grace and peace to you…
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Yes, Caralyn, we all face those days of pain when we just need to “… offer that same outstretched arms-kind of love” to those around us so we can feel it coming back to us. That’s the good news about love, isn’t it? You can’t give it away with receiving it double in return!!
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What a beautiful post, Caralyn, and thank you so much for sharing with us. I am touched and thankful God has brought you to, and through this deep healing. Sounds like he is preparing your heart and emotions to be able to fully love and cherish with all your heart, that precious new babe you will soon meet face to face and tenderly hold in your mommy arms. Oh what complete joy! Love and hugs to you 🩷🤗🙏
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Amen. What a sweet post.
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It’s a wonderful thing to know that Jesus cares always. Thanks for these invaluable words.
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Tears came to my eyes… God bless you…
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So beautiful, like Mother Teresa’s “I Thirst for you” letter. 🙏
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Beautiful! Yes Yes! Jesus meets us in our mess! Oh how the last few years have taught me – LET GO – of hurt, pain, expectations, fear, loss, disappointment! YOU! What a wise one! Can’t wait to continue sharing the journey! – Have your trotted through my Top Ten Tips for Dealing with Tough Times??? Over on instagram I’ve been singing and dancing – haha! My little community theater stint! My kids are at Cannes so right now I am just GRAN! The BEST part to play!!! Love to you! Laurie
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Really beautiful. I hope someone who is searching for true peace comes across this message.
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Carolyn Sorry you are in pain. For me I had to learn to lean into it. Trying to fight it made me very sick.
I listen to music. I love healing hands by Elton John.
The lines that stuck out to me were,
“Give in to the night time. Ain’t no cure for the pain. You’ve got to wade into the water. You’ve got to learn to live again.”
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https://youtu.be/CTJuLFwMVP8?si=uh4OpbXSEcbuhPAg Healing Hands by Elton John
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I forgot to say, I was eight months pregnant when my Dad died. I wound up nearly dying of kidney failure. For goodness sake don’t bottle everything . I was scared of really hurting my baby and I had ended up inadvertently nearly killing us both by trying to handle everything.
Best advice I was given once was to allow myself not to cope for a day. We Brits are infamous for our stiff upper lip.
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Always good to look to Jesus. He does bring healing and hope!
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*It should have read,”Don’t bottle everything up.”
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The truth and beauty in your writing usually has me catching my breath. Today it brought tears. Grateful, humble tears. Our King is right here, as always.
I really needed this reminder and a good cry today. Thank you.
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That was a beautifully written post.
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Christ’s humanity makes it so natural to talk to him.
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