If you’re reading this, I’d like to welcome you and give you a hug.

Maybe you’re the parent or loved one of someone suffering with an eating disorder. Perhaps you’re in the throes of anorexia yourself. Maybe you think you may have the beginning stages of disordered eating. Or perhaps you’re on the journey to recovery.

Whatever has brought you here, I hope that through the story of my brokenness, and redemption through the Lord, you are able to find hope, encouragement, advice, healing, support, and comfort.

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This blog chronicles my journey from severe anorexia to recovery, and every twist and turn along the way. The blog posts are meant to be read from beginning to end, as a book. (( Glorious Wounds is the Introduction.)) So I would suggest reading “up” — starting from my oldest post, and working backwards to the most recent. This is my first post.

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I must warn you that the beginning is very dark — intense, raw, and despairing. It is an uncensored view into my mind when I was deep in my anorexia. However, I chose to be vulnerable and share that utter brokenness — that wreckage — in order for you to truly grasp the gravity of the disease, and how sincerely meaningful freedom through Christ has been in my life.

I also hope that you’ll find the resources section of my blog helpful. If you or a loved one is suffering with disordered eating habits, please seek professional help.

With that being said, I am not a doctor. I’m not a therapist, dietician, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. I’m just a girl. Who had a severe case of anorexia. And who is journeying through recovery, one day at a time. I’m just sharing my story with the hopes that it will help even one person.

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***To get a copy of my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones, click here! 

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2,012 thoughts on “Read This First”

  1. I follow you on Instagram. Also, I have been thinking about going through your blog. Would it be triggering for me? I’m scared because I never suffered from being severely underweight and sometimes hearing about extreme anorexia is super triggering.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Madison,
      Thanks for checking out my blog. So here’s my thoughts: I think if you are easily triggered, the beginning of my blog, where I recount my experience in the actual thick of the disease may be hard for you to read, as I discuss numbers and really get into it. It is very dark. However, if you start reading at my March 18th post, “How I Actually Got Better,” you will find those posts from then on helpful, encouraging, and not triggering. I hope that helps and I hope that you find comfort and encouragement here. Thank you for stopping by. Stay strong love. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I started here about two days ago, and now, I spend almost every free moment pulling out my smartphone and reading the next installment. My brother’s wife was diagnosed earlier this year, and is now in rehab (although just diagnosed, this started when she was 15. She’s in her mid 30’s now). Though I don’t know her well (they live in another state), much of what I’m reading sounds just like her: very intelligent, athletic, perfectionist, has everything together, etc. Before I started reading, I did not understand ED. I knew that it was more than just “Can’t she just eat more?”, but had no idea. Until I started reading this. Thank you. I obviously still don’t understand from the standpoint of ‘been there’, but I’m beginning to understand the bondage, the utter helplessness, self-contempt, despair. When I got to “How I Actually Got Better,” I was in tears. I’ve tried reading about it on some other websites, but it was all so clinical, I couldn’t get a feel for what she (and my brother) are going through. I appreciate your very personal, candid account. I want everyone who knows her to read it. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Monte,
      Thank you so much for these thoughtful words of encouragement. I’m sorry that your sister-in-law is going through this. I’m glad she’s getting help. And I’m also glad that you’ve found my blog to be helpful. That’s why I wrote it: because in talking with my loved ones, the overwhelming theme was that no one really understood what was going on. So I wrote this to shed some light on what their loved one is going through. What I wish I could have told my loved ones during the thick of my disease. I will keep you, your family, and your sister-in-law in my heart and prayers. She’s lucky to have a loving and caring support system by her side through this difficult time. Please, don’t hesitate to email me with any further questions: anorexiarevealed@yahoo.com

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It takes a lot of courage and faith to let others see your wounds, but when they see a restoration and see that there the hope of overcoming and that above all there is someone that understands.
    And having it in a written format that they can read in complete privacy and let all those healing tears flow is priceless. I pray God blesses you every step of the way and uses you to shine light so others can see their way out of the darkness.

    Like

  5. Thank you for recently visiting my blog. I wish you all the best in your full recovery, healing internally and physically as you make your way through this process and pray the Lord will bless you and your blog as you share from is in your heart to the hearts of others who desperately need the same help. God bless and keep you in Him.

    Like

  6. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I have found in life that not only is sharing our stories therapeutic for us but for others as well. Paul said it like this in 2 Corinthians 1:3 – 4:

    [2Co 1:3-4 NASB] 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

    May the Lord continue to bless you and those who you provide strength and comfort to with your story. Thanks for visiting my blog.

    Like

  7. Thanks for your recent “like”. May God continue to uphold, heal, and use you to shine His light for others going through similar struggles. Blessings, KD

    Like

  8. Thanks for the read and the like. I am following you now. I have had binge eating disorder nearly all my life and my sister leans the other way, tending to lose weight very easily and having difficulty eating when upset. I enjoy your writing style and look forward to learning what it’s like in the other direction of disordered eating

    Like

  9. Hi How Are you? Im so glad that I have found this page. It sounds like you have such strength in the Lord at the moment it is so amazing. I suffer with Depression and Anxiety myself but I have recently found the joy and grace of being save our Lord and Saviour. He is starting to bring such stength to my life. dispite losing a stone in weight and people noticing I have started to feel more peaceful within my self through the spirit. I do look forward to read more and talking to you.
    god bless your life and the recovery that is ahead I hope you get chance to read my blog it would mean alot

    Benjamin

    Like

  10. thank you for your prayers i hope you have a good time in NYC 🙂 my twitter is @BenBiddulph1712 please follow me

    Like

  13. You have such a beautiful and inspiring blog! I’m so happy I stumbled across it. My journey with nutrition and my desire to become a dietitian stems from a past of disordered eating. I love your approach to recovery! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my “Moderation Movement” post too! 🙂

    Like

  16. Thank you so much for liking my poem False Prophets on my blog WordMusic. It is for people like yourself who are struggling with issues toward recovery that I needed to confront the sacred cows that make it all so much harder. There is nothing so rewarding as dealing with someone who helps others find their spirituality and cooperate with it and nothing quite so scurrilous as others who hide behind spirituality to take advantage of those sufferers.

    Brent Kincaid

    Like

  17. Welcome home to the loving arms of the Lord. May you remain there forever and draw others to the same place. Remember his powerful words, “Do not be Afraid.” Thank you for reading about the Servants of Charity, it has brought me to your amazing place. Thank you!!!

    Like

  20. God bless you on your recovery road. May the bumps smooth out and the forks easily show the right path. I’m working on my addiction to food. I don’t want it to rule me anymore. It is a daily battle. Good luck to you.

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    1. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yes, addictions, no matter what form they take, are tough, but thankfully we have a God who will see us through and give us strength. Thanks for stopping by xx

      Like

  21. Thank you for the “Like” on my blog. Your blog is very inspiring. your writing and thoughts are very uplifting and comforting for anyone. I started following you. I look forward to reading more posts 🙂

    Like

  22. Thank you for sharing your story. Finding courage and strength in God’s power to change your life is a wonderful testimony. Sharing your process so others can find hope is awesome!!! Wishing you God’s best! -abundantliving-NOW.com

    Like

  23. Hello.
    Thank you for liking, “Equal, Honorable Standing” on lifehelps.wordpress. I hope you come bac to check out some of the practical tools I share.

    I have been free from an eating disorder for 24 years now. Jesus gets all of the glory for that. I really mean I’m free; not simply in recovery: I have fasted since then without relapse; things that would have set me off don’t.
    I am very impressed with how openly you have been able to share. It seems that most of us who walk through things like Anorexia are not able to express much about our experience. God clearly has given you grace for this. Blessings on you. Hannah

    Like

  24. This is a great way to serve the Lord. Thank you for your witness. May God warmly and richly bless you, and Mother Mary take you as her special daughter, and care for you.

    Like

  26. Thanks for finding my blog. Don’t know how you found it, but without your ‘like’ on an article I wrote, I never would have found your blog and I have the sense this is going to be a deeply rewarding, encouraging, and inspiring journey. May God continue to be your strength and help you to continue to serve others through your personal testimony.

    Like

  27. Praise God for you and for your Christ-honoring site here! I came to check it out as you had “liked” a post on “thelordiswithus”. Our testimony of Jesus as our Healer and the Lover of our souls is so powerful for each other. May all believers who read this join me in praying that our Lord continue ministering His glory through redeemed sinners such as ourselves to everyone who is weary and burdened, that He may give them rest also! Bless you!

    Like

  29. Dear friend. I had given you my word that I would make a effort to look into this disease. Perhaps it sounded presumptuous (I don’t blame you for thinking so) nonetheless I have written a piece that I would love for you to look at. We don’t have to discuss it. I would like for you to read this article. Please. I know this too is taking some silent points for granted and imposing. https://andnowmiguel.wordpress.com/
    Please forgive me, for I know little about protocol in blogging. It is titled; “Beware of triggers; Anorexia”
    Indulge me. Sincerely; MAO I didn’t know of another way to contact you.

    Like

  31. Thanks for stopping by my blog, I try to visit every one who visits me. I know that we have both been on very different journeys, but we share the same God and the same LOVE He has given us. I’m praying for you, sister, on your recovery adventure.

    God is good!
    ❤ Ashley

    Like

  32. First of all, a big thank you for liking one of my recent blog posts! I’m so glad that I have found you and discovered your blog and your story, and I am looking forward to reading through each of your posts from now on 🙂 You are such an amazing, beautiful and inspiring young lady and the work you are doing is incredible. I really admire that you have chosen to be so brave and have allowed yourself to be vulnerable in the hopes of encouraging and helping others who are going through the same kinds of things. I loved your last post “Right Where We Are”. And I pray that God will continue to work through you and turn what the enemy intended for harm around for His glory.
    -Jeremiah 29:11

    Lots of love, Emily ❤ Xxx

    Like

  33. Thank you for liking my recent post in ephesians2v8.wordpress. I know how hard it is to share something so personal and can appreciate your risk. Your blog will help so many!

    Best wishes,
    Tracey

    Like

  36. I too have been revealing in my addiction and the path of recovery in my blog. I don’t though, to be honest, what or if my blog has a purpose. I tend to think that anyone in recovery has a desire to be of service to others and whether that is based on self preservation or a desire to care for others is probably not important as, to me, one seems to lead to the other.
    I find that anyone who has been to the “edge” be it sanity, social acceptance and/or death has a relationship with God that is unique and inspiring.
    its nice to meet you on your journey.
    Tommy

    Like

    1. Hi tommy. Thank you for this comment. You’re right, God has definitely been to the edge and back with me, and as a result our relationship is pretty unique. But thankfully God is like that with everyone – no matter what his/her story. I’m glad you stopped by. Have a great day.

      Like

  37. If you get a chance read my blog entry “We Are Not Our Mistake”. I think it shows how some of us, like you, are willing to embrace our “mistake” and in doing so find a wealth of knowledge and growth we wish to share with others to help them on their journey.

    Like

  38. firstly– thank you for the like. 😉 so glad to have found this blog [in such an ironic way]. my sister & i both struggled for years from EDs which ultimately inspired me to help friends along our roads to recovery. not here to share my story. i simply wanted to say ‘you go girl!’ on your recovery journey. i will certainly be reading your story. xx

    Like

  39. Thank you for visiting my blog today. Funny how like minds find each other. As I briefly mentioned in my first post I have recovered from a severe eating disorder as well- and it was not through my own strength but the strength, healing and comfort of the Lord. Glad to have found your blog!
    cheers,
    J

    Like

  42. Life is worth living no matter what the cost. Your a beautiful person and I wish you the best in everything you do! NEVER QUIT!!!

    Like

  43. I’m thankful to our Lord Jesus for helping us find each others blogs. And I’m more thankful that you’re recovering with Him. Thank you so much for sharing yourself-it’s not easy being naked in order to be used to help others. And I’m so glad that you’re here, dear one. 🙂

    Like

  45. Your blog will no doubt be helpful to many people! While I personally don’t struggle with an eating disorder, I have bouts of body image issues (among other things).
    Keep sharing your story and inspiring others!

    Like

  46. My mom dies 2 weeks ago from Anorexia, she had a very long battle and in the end was unable to beat it. She was 58. It is hard to explain to people that it wasn’t vanity, it is a very complicated disease and it is also a hard disease to watch someone go through. In the end I had to stop fighting her as I knew I couldn’t make her go for the help that she thought she could do on her own. She was hospitalized 3 times in the last year. The time before she died they had sent her home because she was able to walk with help, that was 4 weeks ago. 2 weeks later we were back at the hospital and she dies 4 hours later. My mom had suffered since I was a child but it got its worst last year when my brother died. I hope that you keep strong with your recovery as I know it will be a lifelong battle for you. Just remember you are beautiful and that this disease scars you and also your loved ones so please always get help, talk about it with loved ones and doctors and phycologist.
    Sorry for the long post, haven’t talked about this yet.
    Take care.

    Like

    1. Hi Alicia. Wow, thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry for your loss. Gosh, that just breaks my heart. You’re right anorexia is not a vein disease. It is a lifelong battle with ED, who wants nothing less than to steal everything from you. I am so sorry that your mom had to endure it. She was lucky to have you as a daughter. Thank you for those words of encouragement. Like you said, it will be a lifelong battle of staying focused on my recovery. Thank you for reminding me that it’s not just me that it effected, too. But also my loved ones. You have seen that first hand. Oh Alicia, I’m sending you a big hug through the computer right now. I appreciate you opening up about this. Please don’t hesitate to email me: anorexiarevealed@yahoo.com if you ever need to talk. Sending love❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  47. Thanks for liking one of my posts. I’m sure you will help many people with your very inspiring blog. You have real courage to open up and share so much of yourself. May God use you mightily to His glory.
    Blessings,
    Tricia

    Like

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