If you’re reading this, I’d like to welcome you and give you a hug.

Maybe you’re the parent or loved one of someone suffering with an eating disorder. Perhaps you’re in the throes of anorexia yourself. Maybe you think you may have the beginning stages of disordered eating. Or perhaps you’re on the journey to recovery.

Whatever has brought you here, I hope that through the story of my brokenness, and redemption through the Lord, you are able to find hope, encouragement, advice, healing, support, and comfort.

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This blog chronicles my journey from severe anorexia to recovery, and every twist and turn along the way. The blog posts are meant to be read from beginning to end, as a book. (( Glorious Wounds is the Introduction.)) So I would suggest reading “up” — starting from my oldest post, and working backwards to the most recent. This is my first post.

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I must warn you that the beginning is very dark — intense, raw, and despairing. It is an uncensored view into my mind when I was deep in my anorexia. However, I chose to be vulnerable and share that utter brokenness — that wreckage — in order for you to truly grasp the gravity of the disease, and how sincerely meaningful freedom through Christ has been in my life.

I also hope that you’ll find the resources section of my blog helpful. If you or a loved one is suffering with disordered eating habits, please seek professional help.

With that being said, I am not a doctor. I’m not a therapist, dietician, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. I’m just a girl. Who had a severe case of anorexia. And who is journeying through recovery, one day at a time. I’m just sharing my story with the hopes that it will help even one person.

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***To get a copy of my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones, click here! 

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A big thank you to my new sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

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2,012 thoughts on “Read This First”

  1. HI BBB,

    Thanks for liking my latest blog. Like some in this thread, I am fairly new to using wordpress & blogging (although my actual account would say I have been here longer than I have used it). I am still learning the ropes, and probably need to redo my page already fairly soon.

    When I was a younger woman, food & I did not have a very good relationship, it was also combined with a bad time in my life. I will come back and read all your posts when I have a little bit of time.

    I wish you good health, and I hope like me, in the future, you and food can better your relationship x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s refreshing to see someone courageously open up about their struggles. Most Christians feel ashamed of admitting weakness. It is this hypocrisy that turns people away from Christianity. Thanks for your courage and for visiting kingservant.com. Come visit again.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Hello!!

      The words above could be mine. Likewise, thank you for liking my latest and most significant blog thus far. I too am fairly new to the blogging world, or the social media world for that matter. Parenting has been my priority and with only one child at home (out of 6) and the only daughter I am able to focus a little more on my writing.

      I love your honesty, something I put out there also in my writing. I think it is necessary for the healing of this world. The majority of this nation, if we’re honest, needs healing and I believe it is through stories such as ours that this will come about. Being the warriors who have first gone through the darkness we are capable to open our hearts and minds to help others follow a similar, but unique, path.

      I have only read your first blog and skimmed the last repost, but will definitely be back to read it all.

      Best wishes, stay strong, and keep the faith. You are the change!

      Namaste,
      Denise

      Like

  6. Hi. Thank you for enjoying my God or Religion blog. Yes, most of the country is having a heat wave but try to stay cool. Take care now.

    Like

  7. Thank you for your bravery and authenticity. As someone who has struggled with disordered eating and still struggles with body image issues, it’s helpful to read the story of someone else’s perseverance. xoxo

    Like

  9. Thanks for like ,and visiting my page. I guess I kind of misguided you to latest post about my deal with God. To be honest , am not a believer. I stay away from the believer. But , I have decided to follow you. I have to read you ,read you more. I hope I can see what you see in God 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi Hira, thanks for sharing that. And thank you for deciding to read my story. I really appreciate it and I hope that it resonates with you. Feel free to email me if you have any question or want to talk! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for checking out my blog post on The Worldly Fool. Just to refresh your memory, I was the one who wrote a quirky post about how a zombie apocalypse simulation/fitness app called Zombies, Run! changed the way I saw fitness forever.

    I’ve started reading some of your blog posts, and I can relate. When it comes to body image issues such as anorexia, we’re bombarded everyday by the media and TV with false images and false expectations. It’s hard to distinguish what is healthy and what isn’t.

    Back in high school and college, I used to get acne. I felt as if the real me was buried beneath this skin condition that I couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard I tried. I never went to see a doctor about the anxiety my acne gave me, but I think if I had gone to a psychologist, I have no doubt I would have been diagnosed with BDD–body dysmorphia disorder.

    However, my skin condition was a gift in disguise. I gave up all dairy, which is known to cause hormone-related acne flareups, and I’ve cut down on rice (which is not easy for an Asian, trust me!) and processed carbs and sugars.

    However, it wasn’t enough.

    For me, my acne is caused by multiple factors, including stress, diet, excessive sunlight exposure, and exercise. My acne was a sign from my body that I wasn’t loving it–or myself–enough. I’ve been taking much better care of this body ever since, and it’s been taking care of me.

    I started becoming bolder with my appearance. In college, I shaved my head one-inch all around, partially as a social experiment on how society views and treats women that don’t fit the Western standard for beauty. Needless to say, people started looking at me and treating me differently. If you check back on my blog at the end of the week, I’ll likely have a blog post about my experience posted by then.

    I know what you’ve gone through, and I wanted to reach out and just wish you the best and lots of love.

    Like

  11. Thank you for taking the time to visit http://www.rivenrod.com. Much appreciated.

    I have a pithy interest in the marvels our tiny planets offers, as well as the glorious and often outrageous antics its inhabitants get up to. You can be sure I’ll catch up with what you’re doing as often as I can.

    I look forward to our next encounter.

    RR

    Psssst. My latest novel, Swell, click here for reviews http://wp.me/PXk9K-259

    Like

  12. Hi BBB! Thanks to taking time to read my blog, StayingInStep. It takes courage and persistence to journey on the road toward the City of God. I read your story. It tells in your words what Jesus came to do: rescue and restore. Well done Princess of the Eternal King.

    Like

  14. Hello beautybeyondbones,
    Thank you for liking my blog post and have to say your blog is looking great! Keep up the inspirational story. Above all, keep writing!
    Nathan A Emery

    Like

  17. Hey there thank you for liking my poem Spring is Forever in Bloom. Your blog looks really interesting and although I’m not in the same situation that you were I too am using blogging as a way to recover from the problems I’m facing. You seem like an incredibly strong individual and although I’ve only just stumbled upon your blog I must congratulate you for your bravery. Thanks again and I look forward to reading your posts. 😀

    Like

      1. Hehe that’s okay, you’ve put so much effort and love into your blog that honestly it’s incredibly inspiring. I’ve started and discarded so many wordpress blogs that I finally told myself that I have to stick to and work on my current one. Keep being amazing 😀 xxx

        Like

  18. Hi BBB,

    Thanks for liking my blog – that really means alot to me; you’re the first person on wordpress to read and like the blog and for that I’m appreciative (it’s the little things in life that makes the most difference). I loved your Hello video and I’ve read your introduction and another blog of yours – very inspiring, I love your sense of humor and so glad for your recovery, that’s a blessing!!! I am now following your blog and can’t wait to see what else you have in store – I’ve been blogging for way over a year now and have decided that I wanted to do podcast (still shy of showing my face) so you’re very brave! – maybe I’ll get there one day too. Can’t wait for the next adventure you’ll take us on. Take Care. Blessings ~

    Like

  21. Hi,

    Thank you for liking my blog post. I hope you will also continue to find your passion in blogging, as well as glorify God in sharing your story.

    Blessings!

    P.S. You’re always welcome to visit my blog ^_^

    Like

  23. Thanks for dropping a Like at Rivertop Rambles. As a male anorexia survivor (I had it as a kid and am much older now!), I find your story quite amazing and am glad you’re doing well at this point. My “savior” was keying into the world of nature and putting the madness of the human world in its place.

    Like

  24. Hi dear. So glad that you liked my Jonathan’s Way post. I am excited to read what you have shared about your road to recovery.

    I was once headed for 450 pounds, myself. But now I am headed down to 200 pounds and less. I was wearing a 34/36 dress size now I am wearing an 18/20. Never to return that way again. I feel good about my journey, too. The Lord is able to sustain us through every change. He will remain faithful to His children.

    Like

  25. Hi BBB,
    God is having some fun with me. When you liked my blog post yesterday, I clicked on your blog to check it out. I didn’t really read through it at all, so I assumed it was some sort of beauty/lifestyle/Christian blog. This morning, I uploaded my second blog post and this one was all about eating disorder recovery through Christ. I checked your blog again to see the CRAZY COINCIDENCE that your blog was a lot about recovering from anorexia and finding freedom through Christ. You are a beautiful blessing and I praise God for leading me to your blog. 🙂
    -PC

    Like

  26. Dear Denise,

    Thank you so much for liking my recent blog post on Parallelaphors. I deeply appreciate getting to know others who have unabashedly shared their stories. It encourages me to continue. Cleary you have encouraged many others as well – you’ve given us a great gift. Looking forward to following your blog. Hugs!

    Miriam

    Like

  28. Dear Caralyn,

    Thank you for stopping by at my blog.
    Wow, it takes a lot of courage to write so open and vulnerable about an eating disorder. I’m sure you inspire and help a lot of people who are struggling with it eating. I wish you health and I hope that you will enjoy food the way I do someday.

    I will stop by every now and then. Just to see how you are doing.

    Take care!

    Like

  29. I have never had an eating disorder but have had friends and family members who have. I so appreciate your transparency in sharing your struggles and successes as it is helpful for me to better understand those who do have eating disorders and how to approach trying to encourage and help them.
    For those of us who have never experienced the struggle it is hard to understand them and therefore makes it hard for us to give the understanding and support that would help and worse yet may keep us from responses that may even make things worse. Understanding and prayer are essential to being effective in understanding and ministering to those with eating disorders in a way that helps them and glorifies God.

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate your support and encouragement. Yeah it’s a tough thing to grasp from the outside, but thank you for seeking to understand. You have a beautiful heart. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  30. Hi beauty! Thanks so much for visiting again and for the like on my post. I hope you are doing well and above all enjoying life and finding reasons to be happy.

    Peace be the Botendaddy

    Like

  31. Thank you for your like on one of my posts! What a “coincidence” that I used to suffer from anorexia in my early twenties, too! God has sent me my now-husband to “do the groundwork” and I got the chance to fully recover. At one time (2007, before I started therapy, which I quit after 10 days, stopped the pharmaceuticals I had to take from the psychatrist, and got over it all by myself, of course with God’s help – it took until about 2009) my mom told me not to go swimming at the lake, because people would look at me and knew what was going on. She said “People pity you!” and that wasn’t what I wanted at all… I didn’t want pity, I wanted to dissapear and be seen at the same time, kind of hard to explain.
    But, I also learned so much of this disease and I found that even when you’re totally at your lowest, there is still reason to live, and to love life. I don’t want to dissappear anymore. Anyways, Blessings from Germany & all the best luck in the world to you!

    Like

    1. Hi there Frau, thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry that our pasts connect is but I’m so glad that we’ve both found freedom! You’re so right- there is always a reason to live. Big hugs to you friend xox

      Like

  32. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with a problem like you had. It must really have been horrific! I’m glad you found help, and especially that part of it was with God. The best of recoveries to you, along with the Lord’s blessings!
    Sunshine

    Like

      1. I’m just glad you are doing much better. Some people don’t come back from their dark places…I’m glad you did!

        🙂

        Like

  33. Thank you so much for honoring me with your presence and support on my blog. You are a beautiful woman and I admire your courage and that you have this fantastic site to give others support and encouragement.

    Like

  35. Thanks for liking my post! I want to say that you are a brave soul. I have not suffered from an eating disorder but a dear college friend of mine did and watching her struggle before coming out the other side was heartbreaking. I wish you continued recovery and health.

    Like

  36. Hey just to let you know I have nominated you for a Liebster Award!
    I really enjoy your blog and wanted to share it with my readers so they could enjoy it too!
    Check out my Liebster Award post on my page!

    Like

  42. Hello BBB!

    First, thanks for the hug! Second, thanks for visiting our site and reading our article The 5 most common misunderstandings of evolution. Here’s the link for those reading this comment and interested in reading the article and visiting our site as well:

    https://thesystemsscientist.com/2016/09/03/the-5-most-common-misunderstandings-of-evolution/

    We do appreciate your patronage. And we also empathize with your challenges and endeavors. As Winston Churchill once said, “We must endeavor to persevere.”

    Again, thanks for reaching out. We are looking forward to building a relationship with you!

    Have a great Sunday!

    TSS Staff

    Like

  43. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Total newbie on wordpress! I wanted to say though, congratulations on your blog and being bold enough to talk about something many women do not.

    Like

  44. My best friend struggled with Anorexia for years and my cousin with Bulimia. I remember nearly everyone wrote them off and treating them like they “just did it for attention” even their family, nobody even tried to understand what it was like or see it as something that needed to be addressed until they ended up in the hospital. Thank you for sharing your story. This topic is very dear to my heart.

    Like

  47. Thanks for visiting my blog and liking my post. It is great that you share your very personal experience with others. Not everyone can do it. I’m sure it is helpful for many people. Way to go!

    Like

  48. Dear Caralyn, thanks for the like on my blog. You are to be commended for your courage and honesty. I am sure your posts will be a blessing to all who visit. I really like the style of writing that you use, very down to earth and warm. God bless!

    Like

  49. Hi BBB,

    Thanks for liking one of my first posts. Only a week into it. I struggle with certain parts of my life and your post gives me courage to open up more and not hold back.

    Best,

    The reawakening of dad

    Like

  50. Thank you for reading my post and liking it and thus connecting me with you. I have only begun to read your posts (93 year old man was first now this) but will now begin in sequence as you request. Sorry you have to travel the path you are on now but so glad you can make the way easier for those who come behind you and those struggling to stay on it.
    Please stop by my site again when you have the time.
    blessings and healing

    Like

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