Category: Uncategorized
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The Million Dollar Question
So now for the Million Dollar Question: What can I do? How can I help her? How can I reach the girl I used to know, who is being controlled by the eating disorder? It’s a two part answer that I’ll get to in a minute, so stay with me. Allow me to first set the stage.…
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snap her out of it
So what is it that I want to be taken away from this? Why did I share such deeply personal and disturbing things with readers I don’t even know? Why? Because I want to share what I wish someone would have told my parents when I was in the thick of my disease. One of…
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The Truth about Relapse
Let’s talk about relapse… Statistically speaking, one third of people with eating disorders relapse after they “recover.” This is for a variety of reasons, but my main guess is that, due to insurance reasons, once the weight gets put on, she gets discharged, as insurance covers the only the minimum amount of time possible at…
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The Golden Road to Hell
The days at inpatient were long, regimented, and monitored. You ate three meals a day and two snacks between meals. You would have a therapy session every day, either one-on-one with your shrink, or in your “home” group of 4-6 girls. Free time was spent reading, playing cards, doing art, coloring – yes, adults coloring…
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Guilty Until Proven Otherwise
I don’t know exactly how long I was in that back room that first day of inpatient, but it seemed like hours. I got weighed. Examined. Blood work done. Vitals taken. During my first 2 weeks, I had to have my vitals taken every 3 hours. And I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere on the…
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Go Big or Go Home
Inpatient was hell on earth. And I say that in the most loving way possible. I will say this: it saved my life, but it did not “cure me” of my eating disorder. I showed up at 78 pounds, barely holding on, and left 87 days later, 25 pounds heavier and physically stable. But that’s…
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The Intervention
My getting to inpatient hospital was strictly against my will. I was 18 years old my senior year and legally an adult. Therefore, my parents could not legally commit me: I had to make the decision to go myself. Like that was going to happen… An intervention was staged with five days left until graduation. First,…
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She has to want to get better
I was at inpatient for three months. Well, let’s be honest. I was there for three months minus three days. I was “better” for two months and 27 days. Then for the last three days I internally freaked out that I was nearing my “safe weight,” which to be clear was still significantly less than…
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Who am I?
Who am I? The healthy young woman in front of you today is not the same person she was eight years ago. I have seen things. Experienced things. Know things that can only be learned through pain. Desperation. And deliverance. Who am I? I’m a young lady who has recovered from anorexia. And I’m sharing with you my…