Shopping. Hearing that word may have ignited a sense of anxiety in you. Maybe you got excited. But I’m gonna gamble that the majority of you got a gut-wrenching wave of nausea at the thought of going clothes shopping. I know I used to. (And to a degree, still do, to this day, if I’mContinue reading Let’s Go Shopping
Surrender
You’ve cried out. Pleaded. Begged in desperation. Implored Jesus to rescue you. Jesus, I cannot do this anymore by myself. I need you to save me. I need you to free me. I am crying out to you because I have nowhere else to go. I have no one left to turn to. I’m cryingContinue reading Surrender
Cry Out
SOS It’s happening. You swore that this would never happen ever again. You promised yourself over and over and over that you would never go back to that place again. But here you are. It’s dark. Your mind is not your own. You don’t recognize who you’ve become. Giving into ED made you think youContinue reading Cry Out
My Body as an Act of Worship
Honesty Hour: It took a long time for me to develop a healthy relationship with food. Since the development of my Ulcerative Colitis and the onset of my anorexia 8 years ago, food has never been just food. There was always something associated with it. Obviously with anorexia, I associated food with anxiety, fear, weight gain,Continue reading My Body as an Act of Worship
Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful
The mind can be a dark, desolate place. When I was in the thick of my anorexia, the last thing that I wanted to hear from anyone was, “You’re so beautiful.” I didn’t want to hear, “You were fearfully and wonderfully made.” Or, “You’re a masterpiece in the making.” “You’re a work of art.” “You’re beautiful.”Continue reading Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful
Taking Off the Mask (Part 2): Broken & Free
Continuing our discussion on masks, for me, the reason I would wear the mask of “I’m fine” was because I was afraid to show my brokenness. I was afraid to show anyone my insecurities, my fears, my doubts. I was afraid to show anyone that I wasn’t perfect. So I wore a mask. ED is a master manipulator. His numberContinue reading Taking Off the Mask (Part 2): Broken & Free
Taking Off the Mask (Part 1)
“I’m fine.” Those two little words are the biggest lie in all of history. When I was entrenched in my anorexia, that was my motto. End of story. Everything was always, “I’m fine.” Maybe you can relate. But with those two little words, I was able to keep everyone at arm’s distance. I wasn’t lettingContinue reading Taking Off the Mask (Part 1)
The Truth about Slip-Ups in Recovery
The thing about eating disorder recovery, is that it’s not just a one time thing. It’s not like you just flip a switch, and from then on, forever and ever, you’re “cured.” As much as I wish that were the case, it’s not. It’s a constant test of will and endurance. Have you seen thoseContinue reading The Truth about Slip-Ups in Recovery
Weight Restoration Without an Appetite
Weight Restoration. The crux of recovery. Where the rubber meets the road. Where the physical healing takes place. Where the mental healing is tested. Weight restoration in eating disorder recovery takes many forms, methods, strategies, and sizes. Typically, once the body starts receiving consistent nutrition and adequate calories, your metabolism kicks in and you begin to feelContinue reading Weight Restoration Without an Appetite
Gold, Refined by Fire
I went to the doctor today for the first time in three years. A new doctor. And it sucked. ***Now before you give up on this post, keep reading — my “Negative Nancy” talk will turn around here soon. I promise — I’m just setting the stage 🙂 But going to the doctor legitimately sucked.Continue reading Gold, Refined by Fire
BeautyBeyondBones 