Tag: healing
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What I Learned from Losing My Hair
I had a haircut today. And sitting in that chair, as my hair dresser exclaims, “You’ve got so much hair!” I remember the long journey that has brought me here. You see, during my anorexia, my hair fell out. I mean, literally all of it. Not just like, “Oh my hair’s thinning!” No. We’re talking…I lost about 90%…
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Missing Out On Love
Have you ever had one of those moments of clarity where you actually see things the way the are, or rather, the way they could have been? Well I had one of those moments tonight. This evening, I had to say goodbye to a good guy friend in the city who is moving out of state…
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Dealing with Discouragement
#HonestyHour It’s been a rough week for me. Why? One word: discouragement. As many of you know, this week, my *former* Instagram account, @anorexiarevealed was falsely-reported as a “pro-Ana” account, and shut down by Instagram. Yes, they can do that. But it breaks my heart because, as you know, my #1 goal is to share…
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Let’s Go Shopping
Shopping. Hearing that word may have ignited a sense of anxiety in you. Maybe you got excited. But I’m gonna gamble that the majority of you got a gut-wrenching wave of nausea at the thought of going clothes shopping. I know I used to. (And to a degree, still do, to this day, if I’m…
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Surrender
You’ve cried out. Pleaded. Begged in desperation. Implored Jesus to rescue you. Jesus, I cannot do this anymore by myself. I need you to save me. I need you to free me. I am crying out to you because I have nowhere else to go. I have no one left to turn to. I’m crying…
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Cry Out
SOS It’s happening. You swore that this would never happen ever again. You promised yourself over and over and over that you would never go back to that place again. But here you are. It’s dark. Your mind is not your own. You don’t recognize who you’ve become. Giving into ED made you think you…
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My Body as an Act of Worship
Honesty Hour: It took a long time for me to develop a healthy relationship with food. Since the development of my Ulcerative Colitis and the onset of my anorexia 8 years ago, food has never been just food. There was always something associated with it. Obviously with anorexia, I associated food with anxiety, fear, weight gain,…
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Allowing Myself To Be Loved
I woke up this morning and it was different. I woke up completely bursting with joy. It was one of those experiences where I was taking a mental inventory of how I felt, because it was a feeling that I want to remember forever. It was a feeling that I want to have forever. So what…
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Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful
The mind can be a dark, desolate place. When I was in the thick of my anorexia, the last thing that I wanted to hear from anyone was, “You’re so beautiful.” I didn’t want to hear, “You were fearfully and wonderfully made.” Or, “You’re a masterpiece in the making.” “You’re a work of art.” “You’re beautiful.”…
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Taking Off the Mask (Part 2): Broken & Free
Continuing our discussion on masks, for me, the reason I would wear the mask of “I’m fine” was because I was afraid to show my brokenness. I was afraid to show anyone my insecurities, my fears, my doubts. I was afraid to show anyone that I wasn’t perfect. So I wore a mask. ED is a master manipulator. His number…