It’s 4:21am. You’ve been literally tossing and turning for five hours. Willing yourself to sleep. Begging your brain to just shut down for the day. Pleading your mind to just let you fall asleep. You’ve tried praying. Counting sheep. Listening to music. Counting backwards. But to no avail. You have insomnia. It was the baneContinue reading Overcoming Insomnia
When Looking Back Hurts
Looking back at painful times can be…well…painful. Reflecting on times where you were put through trials and suffering can make you feel numb or depressed, and it can open up wounds that you thought had healed. Being in recovery, looking back on the harrowing time when I was in my disease could be very desolate.Continue reading When Looking Back Hurts
What I Learned from Losing My Hair
I had a haircut today. And sitting in that chair, as my hair dresser exclaims, “You’ve got so much hair!” I remember the long journey that has brought me here. You see, during my anorexia, my hair fell out. I mean, literally all of it. Not just like, “Oh my hair’s thinning!” No. We’re talking…I lost about 90%Continue reading What I Learned from Losing My Hair
Dealing with Discouragement
#HonestyHour It’s been a rough week for me. Why? One word: discouragement. As many of you know, this week, my *former* Instagram account, @anorexiarevealed was falsely-reported as a “pro-Ana” account, and shut down by Instagram. Yes, they can do that. But it breaks my heart because, as you know, my #1 goal is to shareContinue reading Dealing with Discouragement
Let’s Go Shopping
Shopping. Hearing that word may have ignited a sense of anxiety in you. Maybe you got excited. But I’m gonna gamble that the majority of you got a gut-wrenching wave of nausea at the thought of going clothes shopping. I know I used to. (And to a degree, still do, to this day, if I’mContinue reading Let’s Go Shopping
Surrender
You’ve cried out. Pleaded. Begged in desperation. Implored Jesus to rescue you. Jesus, I cannot do this anymore by myself. I need you to save me. I need you to free me. I am crying out to you because I have nowhere else to go. I have no one left to turn to. I’m cryingContinue reading Surrender
Cry Out
SOS It’s happening. You swore that this would never happen ever again. You promised yourself over and over and over that you would never go back to that place again. But here you are. It’s dark. Your mind is not your own. You don’t recognize who you’ve become. Giving into ED made you think youContinue reading Cry Out
My Body as an Act of Worship
Honesty Hour: It took a long time for me to develop a healthy relationship with food. Since the development of my Ulcerative Colitis and the onset of my anorexia 8 years ago, food has never been just food. There was always something associated with it. Obviously with anorexia, I associated food with anxiety, fear, weight gain,Continue reading My Body as an Act of Worship
Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful
The mind can be a dark, desolate place. When I was in the thick of my anorexia, the last thing that I wanted to hear from anyone was, “You’re so beautiful.” I didn’t want to hear, “You were fearfully and wonderfully made.” Or, “You’re a masterpiece in the making.” “You’re a work of art.” “You’re beautiful.”Continue reading Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful
The Truth about Slip-Ups in Recovery
The thing about eating disorder recovery, is that it’s not just a one time thing. It’s not like you just flip a switch, and from then on, forever and ever, you’re “cured.” As much as I wish that were the case, it’s not. It’s a constant test of will and endurance. Have you seen thoseContinue reading The Truth about Slip-Ups in Recovery
BeautyBeyondBones 