Dear Future Husband

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No, this isn’t a commentary on Meghan Trainor’s song.

Although, albeit catchy as hell, if you actually read the lyrics, you’ll find that it’s all about making “her man” buy her things and treat her like royalty, and basically bow down to her.

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Take me on a date.
I deserve it, babe.
And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary.
Cuz if you treat me right
I’ll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need.

#NotAmused

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And frankly, I’m not a huge fan of Miss Trainor, period, given her distasteful and inconsiderate remarks regarding anorexia. For those that don’t know, when asked in an interview about her “body positive” song, All About That Bass, she so eloquently said,

“I wasn’t strong enough to have an eating disorder…I tried to go anorexic for a good three hours. I ate ice and celery, but that’s not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like, ‘Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like, immediately.’”

“Go anorexic?!” There are no. words. that give justice to the degree of insensitivity and ignorance uttered in that statement.

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But anyways. That’s not what this post is about. So I’m going to take a deep breath and count to ten and let go of the fumes that are building up at that thoughtlessness.

Okay.

As you know I am very single. But for someone recovering from an eating disorder, love and, frankly, intimacy, are delicate areas.

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Because the entirety of my recovery journey has been learning to love myself. And further to that, learning to receive love.

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So the thought of allowing another person to love me has been an area of my life that I have pushed aside for a long time, feeling as though I was unworthy. But through realizing that I, in fact, do have worth, simply for being a child of God, I have decided to slowly crack that door open and be open to love. Maybe not actively seeking it, but I will be open to the possibility of it.

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So, this letter is something that is on my heart that I thought I would share with my favorite people:)

Dear Future Husband,

I do not know who you are yet, but I want you to know that you’re in my heart. My heart, which for a long time has been closed to love, is slowly opening up to that idea. Like a flower blooming towards the sun.

Even though I do not know your face or your name, I feel close to you. Because I pray for you every day.

I pray that, wherever you are in the world, you are being shaped into who you’re made to be. The man after God’s heart.

And I pray that my heart is being prepared to love you, and to receive your love.

You see, there’s something that you need to know about me.

It is hard for me to accept love.

From myself, from others, and, yes, you.

But I am praying for God to transform my heart so that I will be able to receive it fully.

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And I know that He will. I know that once my heart is ready for that, I will meet you, and want to give my heart to you completely.

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There’s something else that I want you to know.

I love you.

Sitting here in 2015, I love you — you — whom I do not know.

And my love for you is not just an idea. It is an action.

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An action that I live out, everyday. You see, I am saving myself for you.

Is that hard to do? Yes. Is it a sacrifice on a lot of levels? Yes.

But…

I love you enough to wait.

I love myself enough to wait.

In learning to love myself for who I am, I have realized that I truly am precious. Worthy. Enough. And I am worth waiting for. I love myself enough that I am not going to give the amazing gift that I am to just anyone. I am going to save it for you.

Because you are my husband. The man who I will love forever. The man who I will stand and unite with before God.

Lastly, I want you to know that I’m broken goods.

I have been put back together, but I am fragile. And there will be some days that are harder than others.

It is in those times that I ask for patience. Recovery is something that you cannot do for me. Only I can do it. Only He can do it.

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So I just ask that you love me through those tough times.

Marriage is a beautiful union. One that is forever. You. Me. And God.

An adventure that I look forward to. An exciting chapter that is yet to come.

So until the day we meet, I will continue to pray for you and love you with my body, mind and spirit. And I will continue to pursue God’s heart as He transforms mine for yours.

Love,

Your future wife

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150 thoughts on “Dear Future Husband

  1. I hope this verse isn’t insensitive – it’s not meant to be – it was a big encouragement to me when I felt so low 39 years ago.

    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

    2 Corinthians 5:17

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  2. Thank you for the times you have liked Agnellusmirror. The posts of yours that I have read ring true – one very dear to me has turned countless corners on the way out of anorexia. She is working full-time as a teacher of 4-5 year olds, does a good job, and needs her meals to be able to do the job. One step at a time!

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  3. Your letter made me cry, but not sad tears. As a mom of three sons, I have prayed for their future spouses since my boys were born. So far those prayers have been answered abundantly, twice. I am still praying for one unknown young woman. Keep praying and then pray some more for that future husband. Your life is a thing of beauty and everything you have gone through shapes who you are and will be used to God’s glory. He can take everything good, bad, and ugly and redeem it. I am fully confident that God has great plans for you and your future spouse. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 31:3, “For I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” May you be blessed with that love today.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for these encouraging words! It sounds like you are a great mom:) yes, I do believe that God can and will take my past and transform it. No pain or darkness is too much for God. He will work all things together for good. And thanks for sharing that verse. How beautiful and comforting. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. BEAUTY! I’m suddenly able to access you and other readers again! So relieved! Don’t know what changed except praying to regain access!

    So…I can relate to this one. I spent some very lonely years. I can remember physical hurt in my arms, I was so lonely for company, a hug. JUST A HUG!! But you know about my wife and family now. God has blessed me. He will bless you too. And, just on the off chance you don’t know this one, here “Haven’t Met You Yet”, recorded by Michal Buble’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBpvsSeBh54

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    • Hey Jeffrey! Oh good! I’m so glad! ☺️ thank you for this encouragement. I’m so glad things worked out well for you. God provides and has the best plan! Can’t wait to check it out. Thanks☺️ glad youre back ❤️❤️☺️ thanks as always for stopping by xox

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve written letters to my future husband too. Unfortunately, I trashed them a few years ago because I thought they were silly. Now I want them back lol! I also like that you call love an action, not a feeling. I have been dating for a year. Love is an action.

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  6. Eleora here. This is a little belated, but we’ve recently stumbled across your blog and just HAD to stop and comment on this. For a while now I’ve been struggling with the whole idea of boyfriends and whatnot (yay unrequited crushes; note sarcasm) and to compensate for this, God gave me the idea to write letters to my future husband as a way of focusing on God and what He has planned for me, since at the end of every letter (okay, email, because I get too tired to physically write it out) I include a prayer.

    Thank you, though, for the very timely reminder to continue looking at God and not focusing on the things of this world, because in honesty, I’ve been slipping lately. I guess that’s why they say that we gotta love God with all our strength, ‘cos it’s not easy. 😛

    So, thank you for this. Praying for you this end, that God will continue to use you, teach you, mould you, and guide you to become the woman He has made and called you to be. 🙂 ❤

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  7. Pingback: Dear Drake | BeautyBeyondBones | Re-theologizing

  8. It is so hard to always know what our destiny is. We want to plan our life to go one way, but it goes an unexpected way.

    How do you know he’s the one?

    That was a beautiful letter. I hope you recognize your future husband when you meet him 🙂

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  9. Pingback: Swiping for Love – Wag 'n Bietjie

  10. “We think you’ll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That’s what makes a woman come alive.”
    ― John Eldredge, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

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  11. Caralyn,
    Here we are 365+ days ago
    and you sent a message into space
    describing what you want(ed) and who you are (were).
    Are you the same woman today
    that you were on this particular post date? Not so fast . . .
    With all the video productions and love experiences
    and self revelations, it appears that a ‘no’ is more accurate.
    Your FH may appear on your doorstep
    but he will be looking for the “2015 you”
    the one who made the request. What then?
    Yes – God is in control. Yes – He keeps his promises.
    No – he cannot break a promise.
    Well . . . you did say you wanted God “to transform my heart so that I will be able to receive it (love) fully.”
    That’s His promise to you.
    🙂
    Angelic Secret: You will find what you are looking for when you stop looking for it.
    Just go about being the you who is “transforming.”
    When you are diligent about being / learning / creating / donating / volunteering / giving / building up the person you think you should be
    ****this is when**** God throws you curve balls for you to swing at.
    You can’t play the whole game in the Batter’s Box.

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