You guys, I am so excited to share with you, that I’m going to be speaking at Christ the King Lutheran Church in Memphis, Tennessee on Sunday September 29th at 10:00am!
This is truly such an exciting step – and something that I have been praying about for a long time. So if you’re in the area, I would absolutely love to see you there!
One of my dear friends, fellow blogger, and OG readers of BBB — Jeff King — played an integral role in this speaking engagement coming together. He threw my name into the ring at his church, and so thank you, Jeff for believing in me, and helping this come to reality!
You know, it’s funny — because when I first started out this blog — having the opportunity to share my story was something a) I never would have dreamed would become a reality, or b) that I would have the courage to even admit to having had an eating disorder, and own up to my past in a public way.
So it’s kind of surreal that it’s all happening.
But for as excited as I am for this opportunity, I’m not going to lie — preparing for it, and writing the talks and whatnot — I’ve put off and put off and put off.
I have this approach avoidance to it. It has been incredibly challenging — but not for the reason you might be thinking. Because let’s be honest, your girl lives for a heavy work load. It’s not the effort that is causing me the hang up…
It’s the fact that…I feel incredibly unqualified. And in fact, I feel a bit like a phony.
Getting up and sharing my story — I feel like I’m flaunting around that I’ve got all the answers and that I’ve got it all figured out, when the fact is…I’m journeying through recovery just like everyone else who has ever gone through an addiction or eating disorder.
Recovery is a life long, winding road that takes lots of twists and turns. And who’s to say that they’ve ever got it all figured out.
But what’s more, is that I really have to dive into my story at a depth that I haven’t in quite a while.
Writing this blog, yes – it’s emotionally demanding, and I have to write about my past — but for the most part, I can keep some distance between myself and the truly dark parts of my history. I can keep that super painful part of my disease at arm’s length, and kind of dance around the deep stuff.
Not this time.
In preparing for these talks, I’ve really had to “go there.” Get back into the mindset of where I was, recollect the tough times, and really try to put the pieces together in a meaningful way that I can talk about coherently — not only for myself, but to a degree that I can bring someone else there.
That’s been the challenge. That’s been the root of my procrastination and approach avoidance.
But you know what? It’s been really good for me.
Because it has allowed me to really take a step back and see the bigger picture. I’ve been able to zoom out, like looking at the topography of my life from a helicopter — and I can see the twists and turns and detours my path has taken thus far. It’s been really a powerful exercise.
We all have a story. God has given us all unique paths and experiences that shape who we are. And all of our stories are worthy of being shared on a stage.
But the trials we endure — some more publicly than others — all point to one thing: His deliverance through it all.
Sometimes it takes longer to see, but there’s nothing we go through that God is walking through with us.
So I want to invite you, this month, as we are changing from summer to fall, to use this as an opportunity to revisit the topography of your life from a bird’s eye view.
Yeah, the experience is emotionally difficult, and you definitely have to work up the courage to really get in there, and not just look from arm’s length, but to get in the weeds of your past.
Because when you do, and when you truly are looking with earnest eyes that are willing to see, the Holy Spirit will reveal to you some of the reasoning behind the detours. He will give you peace and acceptance when you take that conscious effort to explore what might have been locked away in the deep recesses of our minds.
It definitely has with me.
So if that hasn’t shaken your confidence in my ability as a speaker — haha — I’d love to see you on the 29th in Memphis.
If this prep process has taught me anything, it’s that we are constantly evolving and He is always always at work, shaping us into better versions of ourselves, one day at a time.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia. Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.
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