Ok – so tonight’s post may be a little silly, a little self-indulgent, but this is real life, so…se la vie.
Steven and I are getting our engagement photos taken on this coming Monday. We’re flying our photographer into New York City, and we’re going to be taking photos during golden hour — it’s going to be so lovely.
Let me preface this by saying, I am very grateful to have been blessed with clear skin. I just don’t get zits, and I take care of my skin like the Hope Diamond on the Titanic. But once every 12-14 months, I get a ginormous, deep, hormonal zit.
We’re talking, it swells my face, is the size of…no kidding…a nickel. And the blemish itself lasts for about a 3 weeks, and then the scar lasts another 4 months. The one from last year lasted from July to October.
I woke up on Tuesday morning, here in Wisconsin, with the beginning stages of one of these massive hormonal zits.
Right smack dab in the very center of my chin.
But this is not just a hormonal zit. This is a bright red, deep cyst more than a zit. And it is so big, it’s the size of my entire chin…it’s visibly swollen to the point where my profile has been effected. And it hurts like the dickens. Picture that game “Operation” with the bright red, flashing nose…but put that on my chin.
(And I am purposefully not putting a gruesome photo on it on here, because people may be eating while reading this…)
I immediately ordered ZitSticka Killa patches…at Steven’s recommendation…but even they’re not even touching this thing. They have reduced the swelling a bit, but it still is just this third eye that is assaulting anyone that comes within 3 feet of me.
And I’ve gotta tell you – it has effected my confidence, I feel like an ogre, I avert my eyes when I interact with someone other than my family in public, and I’ve just been in kind of a bad mood to be honest, because this hideous cyst is taking over my face. And it’s still going to be there, front and center, for our engagement shoot.
But this morning, as I was running, I realized something.
Is it unfortunate timing? Yes.
But, as my wedding is drawing closer, this is a great reminder of what truly matters: that it is not what is on the outside, but what’s on the inside that is truly important.
God is reminding me that beauty comes from within, and our outer image is nothing more than a shell to house the soul.
Admittedly, I’ve been pretty focused on “outer things” in preparation for this shoot: making sure I have a nice dress to wear, scheduling a manicure, trying to get a sun kissed glow…things that, in the grand scheme of things don’t matter.
These photos — and the wedding in and of itself — are a celebration of our future marriage. We’re celebrating the marriage…not the wedding. And these photos are to capture our love. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what dress I wear, or what my hair looks like, or even that I have a blemish on my chin.
Because Steven loves me for who I am on the inside, and I love him for who he is – his heart, his character, his soul.
That is what matters.
True beauty comes from inside: Jesus living in my heart, and that reflection, outward.
So thanks for letting me get that off my chest tonight. Sometimes all it takes is a gnarly zit to help keep things in perspective.
Also — if you have any “zit emergency” remedies up your sleeve, please don’t hesitate to drop them in the comments section! hahha thanks 🙂
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