Waiting for My Husband Was the Best Decision of My Life

Well here we are. We are officially 9 DAYS away from my wedding.

Single digits.

Nine days before the start of the most beautiful chapter of my life that I have been looking forward to since I was a little girl.

Nine days, completing the promise I made to myself and to God in saving myself for my husband.

I wanted to write this post tonight because there’s so much “false freedom” out there regarding sex in our culture: TV shows, music, TikTok, “normal teen behavior” — all make you believe that if you’re not having sex, there’s something wrong with you. Messages touting that virginity is something to be ashamed of, and you should “lose it” by such-and-such age, and if you haven’t swiped your V Card by college, then you’re a loser with an unfortunate face and a spastic colon or something.

But I want to change the narrative on that.

Because waiting for Steven was the absolute best decision of my entire life. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Was is difficult to wait? Yes. Were there relationships that ended because I didn’t “give it up?” Of course. Many. Were there times I felt humiliated, and I wished I could just abandon this value I held and be a “normal” teen? Absolutely. But I didn’t. I held out, knowing that — in nine days now — the gift of myself will be the most beautiful thing I could give to my husband: the man I am going to love and cherish for the rest of my life.

A man that I will respect for the rest of my life. And growing up, I realized that my actions then as a teen would down the road be a way that I respected my future husband. I knew I would love that man so much that I wanted to make sure that I lived every day actively respecting him and praying for him, even though I did not know who he was at the time. I knew that one day I would be grateful I did. And that “one day” is now today, and boy was little me right.

I know that my story is not like most, and that’s totally fine. Everyone’s path is different, and everyone’s choice in that regard is not only deeply personal, but also solely theirs. And I have no judgement one way or the other. But for me, this was how I wanted my story to play out. And it was a commitment that I was steadfast to for my entire life.

I don’t think it’s said enough that sex is incredibly sacred. It has been grossly cheapened by rap music, by pornography, by Only Fans, by rated R movies, by culture at large. But the fact of the matter is, it is the most self-giving way to express love to your spouse. And I am so glad that in nine days, I can say to my soon-to-be husband that he is the one I waited for. He is the one I saved myself for, because that part of me is his and his only.

I was worth the wait. And so was he.

I guess I just wanted to put this out into the world to give a little encouragement to those young people who feel like they are swimming upstream against the current of the mainstream culture that glorifies promiscuity, worships birth control and freeing the nipple, and completely rejects and mocks the decision to guard and protect one’s purity and innocence.

I’m here to say, the uphill battle is worth it. The tears and pain from rejection and ridicule because of your choice — those are temporary. Heartbreaking, yes. You will be called names, laughed at and mocked. I certainly was. But I would endure every single upsetting episode again, ten-fold. Because the decision was worth it.

Nine days. Let’s go.

36 responses to “Waiting for My Husband Was the Best Decision of My Life”

  1. It’s amazing that you’re down to 9 days already! That’s just a week and 2 days! May God bless you and Steven for each of those nine days and for the rest of your lives together. 💖💖

  2. This is so wonderful, I have so much respect for you both! I too am so tired of how sex is portrayed today, it’s disgusting. I am very excited for you guys! 😊❤️🙏🏻✝️

  3. Great news on you wedding. I have been a Christian Counselor for over 30 years. I have counseled many couples for pre-marital counseling. Very few took the “saving themselves for marriage” view. The sad part is they were professing believers and had bought into the culture’s belief system. You will look back on this decision and be thankful that you obeyed the Lord in this important step. You intimacy will be special and that you will cherish the rest of your life. We will celebrate our 55 wedding anniversary in November and we are glad to this very day that we saved ourselves for each other. Blessings to you two – love each other til the stars fall.

  4. Your point of view about this is one of the main reasons I started following your blog. Blessings on you two!

  5. I think this is a good idea for everyone, but it took me decades to understand that. You don’t even have to be religious to see all the harm that promiscuous sex has done to society. I’m very happy for you, Caralyn! xoxoxo

  6. Great post! It’s so refreshing to know that there are couples out there who wait and cherish the giving of each other to only one another. While my husband and I chose that with each other, we hadn’t chosen it in previous relationships. If we have only one regret, it’s that. Those other situations have caused our marriage a lot of pain. BUT we are so grateful that we did wait with each other for each other. As you point out, it is the best gift we can give our spouse. Well done. I’m so thrilled for you and your special man and have loved following your story.

  7. Love it! Congratulations! I. So excited for you both! Waiting for marriage really is the best way to go.

  8. Encouraging…the feeling of swimming against the mainstream must have been discouraging and paralysing at times. But you have shown courage, and above all faith, to survive in the world hostile to values you hold dearly. I think this is how you become the salvific sign to those around you, even if it looks unpopular even ludicrous. Carry on, Caralyn. All the best for the final preparation of your wedding. Greetings to Steven.

  9. Congrats, Caralyn! I have watched you and my daughter (she is a little older than you) dating, finding the men in your lives, and now getting married. Blessings and best of luck! Our daughter’s wedding is June 24.

  10. This is such an important message. I also waited and I’m so grateful I did. It was just as hard and humiliating as you describe, but worth every ounce of heartbreak to share that special gift with “the one”. There is also much research into pair-bonding and, at least for women, having a single sexual partner is correlated with much higher marital success. The sacrifices and delayed gratification you chose as a young woman have set up you and your soon-to-be husband for a lifetime of loyalty and deep connection. Cheers to that! I hope many young women read this and are inspired to follow your lead. ❤️

  11. Thank you for being a good example of morality and having the courage to speak out. You’re definitely not alone in saving yourself for marriage. However, I know you often felt alone, like many others. When people with strong moral values that go against society are afraid to speak up, as is often the case and often lead to ridicule when they do, then individuals can feel that they’re all alone. That can make it harder to hang on, which is to the delight of the adversary.

  12. I’m so happy for you! You have great values! Respecting your body is too rare these days! The media indeed teaches completely wrong values! Congratulations!

  13. Well said, Caralyn. Your words hold their weight in gold – may many others draw life-giving inspiration from them. Hugs to you and Stephen during these next 9 days!!😘

  14. As it should it! I have immense RESPECT for your decision and I’m sure this will only bring you and your soon to be husband that much closer! God bless, congratulations on your upcoming wedding and many, many blessings to you both! Robin

  15. Cary,

    Thank you so much for letting other young people know the beauty of saving themselves for their future spouse.Your voice is so needed in our world, calming and healing and wise. May it be heard far and wide and inspire others to see themselves as they really are, beautiful in God’s eyes.Congratulations on your inspiring courage.What a gift you are to Stephen and he to you!

    Jane Elfers

  16. Congratulations! It is hard to go against the “mainstream” view, but so very, very worth the wait. My husband and I both made the decision to wait for each other and are so very glad we did. Our marriage is better because of it. We know many couples who didn’t wait and gave themselves away to others and their spouses before marriage. 2/3 of those marriages are over/on the rocks/etc etc. We have had our ups and downs, as all marriages do, but doing that one thing, has definitely made our marriage stronger and more stable than a lot of others. Congrats again on the waiting and the wedding! So very excited for you! God Bless!

  17. I love this 💗 I waited for my husband as well. We’ve been married a year and a half and are pregnant with our first child, a baby girl. I pray our daughter knows her worth in Jesus and never settles for anything less than God’s best.
    Thank you for posting, you are starting your marriage with a beautiful blessing. Congratulations 🥰

  18. There is no going back to “what could have been.” So sad that most of our world forfeits “what could have been” for a quickie, a shallow one-night-stand or a “I’ll be okay because we love each other…” only to find he didn’t or she didn’t.
    You and Steven remain in my daily prayers, especially as you discover there is no preparation for what is to come. Only walking hand-in-Hand with Jesus will you discover how to live and love and be what He is calling you two, now one, to be.
    ❤️&🙏, c.a.

  19. Wonderful Caralyn! I am so happy to see that you have posted this and given encouragement to the young people who are trying to obey God and wait.
    What a strong person you are! I wish the very best to you and Steven.

  20. Congrats and I love this so much. I fought hard to raise my kiddos different than I was and have 2 / 24 year olds that have guarded their purity and are an alien to most by todays standards – it’s not easy to navigate and I will share this with them to encourage them. Blessings always dear! ❤️🎉

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