Well here we are. We are officially 9 DAYS away from my wedding.
Nine days before the start of the most beautiful chapter of my life that I have been looking forward to since I was a little girl.
Nine days, completing the promise I made to myself and to God in saving myself for my husband.
I wanted to write this post tonight because there’s so much “false freedom” out there regarding sex in our culture: TV shows, music, TikTok, “normal teen behavior” — all make you believe that if you’re not having sex, there’s something wrong with you. Messages touting that virginity is something to be ashamed of, and you should “lose it” by such-and-such age, and if you haven’t swiped your V Card by college, then you’re a loser with an unfortunate face and a spastic colon or something.
But I want to change the narrative on that.
Because waiting for Steven was the absolute best decision of my entire life. I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Was is difficult to wait? Yes. Were there relationships that ended because I didn’t “give it up?” Of course. Many. Were there times I felt humiliated, and I wished I could just abandon this value I held and be a “normal” teen? Absolutely. But I didn’t. I held out, knowing that — in nine days now — the gift of myself will be the most beautiful thing I could give to my husband: the man I am going to love and cherish for the rest of my life.
A man that I will respect for the rest of my life. And growing up, I realized that my actions then as a teen would down the road be a way that I respected my future husband. I knew I would love that man so much that I wanted to make sure that I lived every day actively respecting him and praying for him, even though I did not know who he was at the time. I knew that one day I would be grateful I did. And that “one day” is now today, and boy was little me right.
I know that my story is not like most, and that’s totally fine. Everyone’s path is different, and everyone’s choice in that regard is not only deeply personal, but also solely theirs. And I have no judgement one way or the other. But for me, this was how I wanted my story to play out. And it was a commitment that I was steadfast to for my entire life.
I don’t think it’s said enough that sex is incredibly sacred. It has been grossly cheapened by rap music, by pornography, by Only Fans, by rated R movies, by culture at large. But the fact of the matter is, it is the most self-giving way to express love to your spouse. And I am so glad that in nine days, I can say to my soon-to-be husband that he is the one I waited for. He is the one I saved myself for, because that part of me is his and his only.
I was worth the wait. And so was he.
I guess I just wanted to put this out into the world to give a little encouragement to those young people who feel like they are swimming upstream against the current of the mainstream culture that glorifies promiscuity, worships birth control and freeing the nipple, and completely rejects and mocks the decision to guard and protect one’s purity and innocence.
I’m here to say, the uphill battle is worth it. The tears and pain from rejection and ridicule because of your choice — those are temporary. Heartbreaking, yes. You will be called names, laughed at and mocked. I certainly was. But I would endure every single upsetting episode again, ten-fold. Because the decision was worth it.
Nine days. Let’s go.