Recovery Is…

When I was deep in my anorexia, it was hard to imagine what a life without ED would look like. It was such a foreign concept. An abstract notion. I was trapped in a box that kept getting smaller and smaller, and I couldn’t picture what a life free from that “ED box” would be.

So I thought I’d share with you what recovery looks like, in case you find yourself not being able to see beyond ED’s tunnel vision.

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RECOVERY IS…

…Waking up in the morning, refreshed after sleeping the entire night through.

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…Looking in the mirror to check if your outfit matches, rather than how your body looks.

…Being able to watch a movie without thinking about sitting for two hours.

…Having a warm body and being thankful for air conditioning.

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…Going to a restaurant without researching the lowest-calorie menu option before hand.

…Going to bed and saying a prayer, instead of rehashing the day’s calorie intake verses exercise.

…Spending time with your friends and goofing around and laughing and being present in the moment.

…Eating without weighing or measuring your food.

…Lazy Sunday afternoons where you eat snacks and just veg out on the couch.

…Waking up in the morning without anxiety about the day, or guilt about the day before.

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…Being with your loved ones and focusing on them, rather than focusing on your body image.

…Not being afraid to go to the doctor.

…Going out to eat and ordering what actually sounds good.

…Walking into a room with confidence because you know you’re beautiful in more ways than one.

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…Saying yes to invitations and spending time with people you love.

Beer.

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…Being able to concentrate on a book, or magazine article, or other things that require mental focus.

…Being spontaneous with your time – Spur of the moment outings or last minute road trips with friends.

…Being able to shop in the women’s department, and being proud of it.

…Baking cookies with mom and licking the bowl.

…Falling asleep peacefully.

…Warm chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven.

Exercising for pleasure, not for punishment.

…Being gentle with yourself.

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…Answering the phone and returning phone calls from friends.

…Eating meals whenever you damn well please.

…Being excited about birthday cake.

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…Looking in the mirror and seeing a beautiful girl with flaws and imperfections, and being okay with it.

…A full head of healthy, shiny hair.

…Knowing your potential and working towards fulfilling your dreams.

…Forgiving yourself for things in your past and loving who you are, inside and out.

…Letting other people love you because you know you’re worth it.

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Recovery is freedom.

This is recovery. This is the life that is out there waiting for you. Anorexia can make you forget that such a life is possible. It can make you forget that there is more to life than the ED prison you find yourself trapped in.

You can have that freedom.

It’s up to you.

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23 thoughts on “Recovery Is…

  1. This was amazing and enlightening. I’m stuck right in the middle of my anorexia and I dream of having all these things you write about one day! Thank you for sharing! Xx

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  2. You nailed it…all the things that recovery is…been there – I get it. A few of my favourites:
    – Being able to watch a movie without thinking about sitting for two hours.
    – Saying yes to invitations and spending time with people you love.
    – Answering the phone and returning phone calls from friends.
    The list is lengthy but you detailed many of them perfectly! It’s a nice reminder!!! One never wants to go back but sometimes remembering the pain increases the joy of the present. Thanks for this post!

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  3. Hi anorexiarevealed, it looks like your blog is anonymous. If you would ever like to “step-up” your testimony and increase the reach of your impact, I do articles for GodReports.com of all sorts of people who get help from God to recover from all sorts of traps that the devil puts in front of us. If you might be interested, it would entail your name, age, location and pictures! If that’s too much, I understand. God bless. Here example of my work http://blog.godreports.com/2015/04/hardened-guatemala-gang-member-transformed-by-christ/
    http://blog.godreports.com/2015/03/he-frequented-the-gay-bars-in-hollywood-until-gods-grace-set-him-free/
    http://blog.godreports.com/2015/03/former-stripper-now-dances-for-jesus/

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    • Hi there! Yes, it is anonymous. I have been praying about whether or not to “identify” myself, but have been hesitant, as I know it affects more than just me, like my family and loved ones. So at the moment, I am keeping it anonymous. But thank you for this invitation. I will definitely pray about it. Part of my ultimate goal is to share my testimony publicly and perhaps be a speaker about EDs, so I know that will entail revealing my identity, but I’m just waiting on God’s timing. Thank you for this encouragement. You never know when God is speaking to you through someone else:) Thanks for stopping by.

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      • Do you know anyone else with a strong testimony and love for God who might like to share? I’m also interested in doing a a self-arm/ cutting article if you have gotten the chance to know anyone in your blogging experience. Many blessings for you!

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  4. Pingback: 21 Days | anorexia.Revealed

  5. I absolutely love this post. I share a very similar experience, and am also in recovery. I don’t know how my situation (athletica anorexia) began, but I know precisely how it was turned around and that I am now in a healthier, happier place than I’ve ever been before! While I’m not necessarily thankful for the experience, I’m eternally grateful for God’s grace (He loves me no matter what the heck I look like, eat, or do!), my family’s support, and the lessons I’ve learned and am able to share with others! Keep on keeping on 🙂

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    • Aw, thanks Danielle. What a kind note! so glad this resonated with you. I’m sorry that we have that which connects our pasts, but I’m so glad we’re both in healthier places! amen, God’s grace is amazing. Cheering for you in your recovery, sister! 🙂 rock on xoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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