Thank you all so much for the wonderful birthday wishes!!
My mom surprised me in NYC, so I’ve had just the most lovely last couple days with her doing some shopping and eating at some delicious restaurants with my friends!

Recovery is a long and difficult road. And over the last 12 years, I have definitely discovered some mental shifts that truly helped keep my recovery train moving forward and on the right track.
But truly, they are applicible to everyone in life. Because I think we all have areas in life that bring us fear or anxiety or uncertainty. And if we allow those negative thought processes to be the lens through which we view the world, we are thwarting our chance to thrive.

So here are the “mental shifts” that I made that truly turned my recovery around.
1 Adopt a “What If” Mindset

This one was absolutely critical. Because in the beginning of recovery, there is SO MUCH FEAR. It controls your thoughts, your heart, your decisions.
What I had to do was turn that fear into curiosity. Sure, I had over 30 pounds to gain – I could either continue to be terrified of that fact, OR, I could become curious about the possibilities that came along with a life free from ED. Become curious about the way my body would bloom.
2 Just do the next right thing.

This dynamite piece of advice was given to me by my mother. I was explaining recovery to someone the other day as trying to drink the ocean through a straw. Or standing a the bottom of Mt. Everest and looking up at a mountain you have to climb bare foot. It can seem incredibly overwhelming, to the point where you don’t even know where to start.
And that overwhelming feeling can paralyze you, if I’m being honest.
So just take it one decision at a time. Day by day, meal by meal, moment by moment. Just do the next right thing.
Because the thing is: baby steps add up to bigger steps, which add up to miles, and pretty soon you’re at the top of that mountain, looking back at how far you’ve come.
3 Embrace a spirit of YES!

There is nothing more powerful than the word YES! There was a day at inpatient where I was sitting at the meal table, and I just said — OK, Lord – I’m going to say YES to whatever you put in front of me. In that moment, as a scared young girl, I knew that God knew what was best for me, and in fact, already had everything planned out. So I just need to let Him drive. And embrace what He was unfolding in front of me — especially the food on my plate!
And that was the beginning of my “YES” mindset — and it has bled into all areas of my life: social engagements, career opportunities, spontaneous adventures — life is more fulfilling when you welcome it with open arms!
4 When all else fails, GET ANGRY
This last one was a last resort effort, on those days where I couldn’t muster the strength to fight. And that was to GET ANGRY. But more specifically, Get Angry at Satan.
“ED” — which is in reality, actually Satan — had stolen so much from me, through the suffocating strangulation of the anorexia. And so I got mad. And I literally took and inventory — I wrote it out in my journal — of all the things that he stole from me: my health, my body, my relationships, my graduation, my passions, my goofy personality, my ambition, my college, my extracurriculars, my fertility, MY HAIR — I mean, he is a thief that comes only to steal, kill and destroy! SO GET MAD ABOUT IT, and then use that anger as the fuel to RECLAIM YOU LIFE! And TAKE BACK WHAT IS YOURS!
This mindset helped me on many a day when the snack or supplement increase seemed insurmountable, and the fear was winning. I’d get mad, and then every bite I took would be a way to say, “TAKE THAT, SATAN!”
So there you have it. I hope those are helpful to you! I know they were to me!

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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145 responses to “Three Mental Shifts that Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE”
Happy Birthday Blessings Beautiful ππΉππ
Thank you so much my dear friend! hugs xox
π Great tools!!
thank you so much! glad you thought so! hugs xox
For all of Godβs promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding βYes!β And through Christ, our βAmenβ (which means βYesβ) ascends to God for his glory. 2 Cor 1:20, New Living Translation
Wonderful words–and may I say that your Mom looks more like your beautiful Sister!! Doing the next right thing–fabulous word from the Lord; as well as “YES”. And I so LOVE the message about getting angry with satan–for surely he works double-shifts, never tiring of his job to steal, kill and destroy everything GOOD in our lives, as well as our very LIFE. I try to remember that Christ has put him under our feet–so an angry STOMP can often do the trick for me (till he comes back for Round 2, haha).
You are a BLESSING–thank you for sharing your life of Victory. God bless you <3
Hi Fleur! Yes! I always think about Mary and her Yes to God! It literally changed the world! and what a kind thing to say about my mom! i will pass that along π . hehe big hugs xo
Have a blessed week of YES ahead! π <3
YOU TOO!!! π π π xoxo
Thank you, dear heart <3
xoxo π
π <3
I like the “turn fear into curiosity” I struggle with fear of meeting new people. Next time I will ask myself “what if they are my next friend” π love it!
Thank you so much! I definitely feel you there! I love that way of thinking! yay for new potential friends! hugs xox
Do the next right thing. I recently used an expression with you that you didnβt knowβ¦when youβre up to your ass in alligators it can be difficult to remember your original objective was to drain the swamp. One step at a time. Years ago I went through a bit of a breakdown. Some days I literally broke my life down into βJust make it into the next roomβ goals. Worry about what to do when I get there. Keeping itβ¦manageable.
The What If mindset. Maybe recovery is like driving a car. You donβt need to understand the mechanics. Just operate the controls the way youβre told. What if those controls respond to me the way they do for everyone else? Maybe I CAN drive this thing!
Good stuff!
Glad your birthday was so fun!
Hi Jeff! hahhaa that’s right!!! that was such a great saying. have yet to use it in real life, but when the moment arises, i will confidently say it!! haha you’re so right – it’s like driving a car for sure. THanks for the birthday wishes! Big hugs to you and your girls! xox
Excellent advice, Caralyn! Breaking things down to one step, makes it so much easier. I think it all comes down to trusting God to help you to the next step.
Thank you so much! Yes! single baby steps are manageable! hugs xo
XO π
xox π
Thank you for your motivation.
you’re so welcome, JB! Thank you! hugs xox
Hugs to YOU!!
xoxo π
πππππ
“Rebuke the devil and he will flee from you.” Sounds like that’s what you did. Way to go!
yes!! that’s the plan! big hugs to you xox
Excellent tools. Hope you had a wonderful birthday!
Thanks so much π I did! Hugs and love xox
Happy birthday!!!!! Iβm so happy to hear it was a beautiful day!!!! Love each of these. Great advice!!
Aw thank you so much Shell! Yes it was! Hugs and love xox
Beautiful words of advice, and what a heartfelt testimony! I’m so glad you’ve decided to share this with all of us who need to hear your encouragement and winning strategies. Happy Birthday, Beautiful Lady!
Thanks so much Susan!! I appreciate that π Hugs and love xox
Inspiring tips to remember! Thank you for sharing β€οΈ
power to the local dreamer ||-//
Thank you so much!! Yay dreamers! Hugs and love xox
Great how to steps. I might change the “What if” to “Curiosity,” but only because what if can be negative.if one is not in a positive mood. I used to be a prisoner of “What if” scenarios…(negative thought). I like the idea of replacing fear with adventure and curiosity. Absolutely love the idea of getting mad at Satan. of channeling your anger to do something positive to help yourself. This is what is missing in the world today. People know how to get mad, but they don’t know how to channel that energy into constructive pursuits. May you continue to embrace the freedom you have gained in recovery.
Thanks so much Sandman. Gotcha – yeah stay in the positive!! Hugs and love xox
Great advice!
Thanks so much Veronica! Hugs and love xox
Well put!!! My mother always tells me a similar saying! Thank God for mothers full of wisdom!
Thanks so much Patunia! So true! Moms always know best! Hugs and love xox
Back at ya!!! π
π xoxoxox
This post has such a clickbait title. “Three mental shifts that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE! #2 will SHOCK YOU!!!” But this article has so much more substance than clickbait. Definitely things for me to work on.
Hahaha thanks – yeah I was in *a mood* when I titled it! Hahahah Hugs and love xox
I would like to add “embrace failure”, we tend to think of ourselves in the context of being the most important thing ever (being devoid of ego is not possible I think, working towards that however is a divine goal), when in truth so many billions have failed and fail all the time, it’s like breathing, it happens, normalize failure, it does not mean enjoy it or like it, just accept it the same as someone learning to walk, we all did it, we didn’t run a marathon our first time out, we fell flat on our faces, but we got up, and learned how to do it better. and thanks for the inspiration, as always. maybe it seems pointless to throw good stuff out into the world but one life helped is worth all the effort, and reading blogs such as yours helps keep my glass half full.
Thanks David – love that so much – embrace failure – thatβs important! Hugs and love xox
This is such awesome advice…for anyone! Even someone struggling with parenting exhaustion or work overwhelm…thanks for sharing all youβve learned so generously. Tiny steps for self care are great advice. Just the next right baby step…taken in hope and curiosity.
Makes me think of the quote often paired with a picture of a little ballerina:
βBut mother, what if I fall?β
βOh, my darling, but what if you fly?β
Hereβs to a life lived in hope!
Yes! Hereβs to a life lived in hope! Love that quote. Thank you so much Anna!! Big hugs to you xox
Great post Caralyn..
I know I’ve probably shared this before, but I try to live my life based on this verse.. no matter what happens in my life…
βLook to this day.
For Yesterday is but a dream;
And tomorrow is but a vision.
For Today well lived,
Makes every Yesterday, a dream of Happiness;
And every Tomorrow, a vision of Hope.β
https://julxrp.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/look-to-this-day/
We always don’t know if we’re living out our full potential each day at a time, but that’s where our faith and our walk with God comes in.. Leaning on His guidance makes our tomorrows, visions of Hope.
Oh thank you so much! Youβre right – He makes them visions of hope! Hugs and love xox
There is such an energizing passion for life and a wonderful love for the Lord in all your posts. Thank-you for sharing! God bless.
Oh my gosh Marcelo, what a kind thing to say!! Thank you dear friend! Xox
This article is SPOT ON!! π§ββοΈπ Use that anger to fuel your fire and put that energy into something productive and beautiful. Last week I got so angry at everything but then had huge epiphanies after letting go of these negative emotions. Just let go. Feel that anger run through your veins and then let it go through deep breathing. Deep breathing will naturally decrease your heart rate and calm you down. You need to FEEL rather than run away from these negative emotions. Most people will try to run away by turning to a distraction (TV, Netflix, Facebook, alcohol etc.) rather than turn inward on themselves.
I havenβt taken an antidepressant since last Saturday because I donβt feel the need to take meds right now. If I feel like I need to, I will, since thereβs a high chance of rebounding but I am not worried. I am in control. π§ββοΈβ₯οΈ
Oh my gosh thank you so much Hilary! Youβre so right β FEELING our emotions is so so important!! Happy for you babe! Sending so much love xx
Great post and encouragements!!
Thanks so much!! Hugs and love xox
This is so good Caralyn! Thank you! And Happy Birthday!
Aw thank you so much Susan!! Hugs and love xox
Many happy returns of the day
Thanks so much Arun! Hugs and love xox
Well said. The mind is the battle field. Whom/whatever controls your mind controls you.
Thank you Michael. Yes it is! Hugs and love xox
Youβre such an inspiration! I really needed to read the βYesβ one. Thank you for sharing!
Oh my gosh thank you!! So glad this resonated with you!! Hugs and love xox
I know the Grace in your heart is there to notice that I missed you Birthday. I send you the warmest of regard, and am so happy that your Mom surprised you. Your insights are always spot on.
Aw, no worries my dear friend! thank you for the warm wishes! it was a beautiful time with her! big hugs xox
Pretty sure it was meant to be that you checked out my post, which led me to your blog…which led me to this post…which…well…I really needed to hear today. Thank you! Xoxo, me and my cat (mostly the star of my blog as I navigate life) π
Oh good! i’m so glad this resonated with you!!!! thanks so much for stopping by!!! π have a great rest of your weekend! big hugs xox
Great post
aw thank you dear friend! hugs xox
Happy birthday! Love you girl π
Aw, thank you so much!!! love ya girlie! xxox
Embracing the spirit of yes is such a tough one for me but I have doing so much better and have seen so much more opportunities come into my life because of this. I am still trying. This was great!
Thank you so much Rebecca! Yeah, the “yes” spirit can be definitely a tough one to get used to. but so worth it! big hugs xox
All good advice
β¦ what if, the next right thing, yes; and also anger.
Thank you
ππΌ
This morning (in Au), I can put that to work
thank you so much!
This was such an encouraging post! Weβre in the middle of something right now and remembering to just do the next right thing is all we can do. If Iβm focused on the step thatβs 5 steps ahead, Iβll get overwhelmed and start being overcome with fear. Thankful for the wisdom youβve shared β€οΈ
Oh good! Thank you Ellen, I’m so glad this hit home with you. I’m sorry you’re going through something right now. Hang in there. Praying for you! big hugs xox
Such an inspirational post, thank you for sharing your journey. ππ
Hi Lorraine! Aw, thank you so much! big hugs to you xox
Love it! Happy birthday. Eat lots of cake and enjoy. Thank you for your encouraging words.
THank you so much Benjamin! hahah LOTS of cake! xxoxo
My pleasure!
xox π
Wishing you a belated happy birthday and many happy returns of the day.
Thank you so much!!! big hugs to you xox
I enjoyed reading this post. You offer some great tips!
You’re on a reading roll! thank you so much!! Im’ glad this hit home with you π have a great rest of your weekend, Amanda! hugs xoxoxoxox
Thank you! I enjoy your posts.
π I always love seeing your name pop up! π xoxo
Great advice, thank you!
thank you so much Marissa! have a great night! hugs xox
BBB,
Your the go to person for this question- When you got block from FB.. for questionable content or whatever the reason was #1 you didnt get notified did you? #2 all of a sudden anything i post is not showing up as a post, but as a status update, and it will show in my activity log, but when clicking on it, like the comment or posts it comes up blank.. and im assuming this is the temporary block they put ? can you shed your experience plz.. Thank you.
Hmmm, I don’t know about that specific situation! For me, they wouldn’t allow me to advertise my post because they claimed it “violated their terms” Sorry I can’t be more help!
Isnt that the same thing, BBB, ugh. Thank you.
xox
And mam, your supposed to be getting OLDER, not prettier and younger.. that sure is one magic toothpaste.. wow.
hahahah oh my gosh Ben, you sure do know how to make a girl smile!!! thank you my dear friend! big hugs xox
Belated birthday greetings! Been out of touch, due to cancer! Recovered Marvellous
Oh gosh, I will definitely be keeping you and your recovery in my prayers! big hugs to you xo
Thank you ! God bless!!!
β¨πβ¨
Share similar thoughts on the road ahead…,baby steps or one day at a time and live life to the fullest. Itβs a gift from the Lord!
you’re so right! life is a gift from the Lord indeed!! you’re on a reading roll! π big hugs xo
I will be having a life transition soon and honestly I can’t help but ask the Lord if it is the right thing or should I really do it.
Thank you for sharing your ideas and I will definitely say YES to the Lord. π
Hi Dada, I will definitely keep you in my prayers as you embark on this new chapter. Yes to the Lord is always the best yes! big hugs xox
“Turn your fear into curiosity”. That is such a positive way to go about things we’re most scared to tackle. It makes things much easier to handle than to simply back out in fear and never trying out new stuff.
Your post is really inspirational. Thank you ππ―π
Thank you so much Joel! I’m so glad this resonated with you! yes! — it really puts a new spin on it! hugs xox
Hi Caralyn, Iβve been reading your content and LOVING it for several months now! We have so much in common, such as being Catholic and pro-life, and so much of your writing resonates with me.
I was wondering if you would ever consider doing a guest post exchange. If thatβs something your blog doesnβt support, that is TOTALY fine! Iβve just been trying to grow my Christian (and Catholic!) outreach as I start writing more Christian-oriented posts. I just wrote a post that is almost like another mental shift, on how you can change your outlook on humanity based on every personβs identity with God.
I would love to do a guest post with this article, on a Christian site, and even if you donβt do guest posts, maybe you would have recommendations for Christian blogs that I can follow/reach out to!
I havenβt published the post Iβve mentioned, but I can send it in an email if you are interested.
If not, NO WORRIES! I completely understand if guest posting is something you do not do. But I would LOVE if you had any blog recommendations for me!
Thank you SO much, Iβm sorry if this was annoying or came across wrong π
Thank you for being a beautiful Christian witness to life!
power to the local dreamer ||-//
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this beautiful response!!! And thank you so much for the invitation! At this current moment I am not doing guest bloggers on my site, but if that changes I will absolutely let you know!!! Hmmm blog reccos…let me think on that and get back to you!!!! No worries! Did not come across in any way!! Congrats on your blog! I’m rooting for you! big hugs to youx ox
Turning fear into curiosity…I need that for this next phase of ministry.
praying for this next phase for you! π hugs xo
Well said. I especially like #3 . . . just say YES! Maintaining some level of confidence breeds even more for our self-esteem.
Thank you! YES!! Hugs and love xox
Thanks so much! YES is my new favorite word!! Hugs and love xox
Happy belated birthday! I love the image of you and your mom … love just oozes from your faces! Your points are so good! One that has become a lifeline for me, which started while dealing with anxiety and fear, is … do something that is hard or fearful, to prove to myself that I can do the hard things. And girl, you have done some hard things! Keep it up sweet lady!
Blessings,
Carole
Aw thank you so much!!! Yeah it was a really special time with her!!! I love that – do something hard! amen to that! So glad, Carole, that you stopped by! big hugs to you xox
Wow! This was so Powerful!! Thank you so very much for the tips π I don’t have an eating disorder but I feel as if these are the very mindsets I need to apply to my life in this season that God has me in. Thank you!!
Aw thanks friend. Yes! Applicable to everyone!! Hugs and love xox
Absolutely an inspiration.
Thank you so much!! Hugs and love xox
Those are all good ways to help through any obstacle. Sharing your thoughts and experiences with us is so encouraging. Thank you.
Thanks Linda π I appreciate that π Hugs and love xox
Happy belated Birthday! Mine was on the 11th. I appreciate this article. The best approach is to take our unique journeys one day at a time. Thank you for your transparency.
Thank you so much Ada!! And happy belated birthday to you!!! Hope it was a great one! Hugs and love xox
[…] BeautyBeyondBones […]
thank you for the link up! hugs xo
Great tips! I like that last part. Thanks for sharing β€
Thanks so much π Hugs and love xox
Much blessing to you and may all that was lost will be found and multiplied onto you. Happy birthday
thank you again!! π hugs xo
Thanks so much for this beautiful written and beautiful illustrated post. Your skillful graphic artistry still shines through in all you do. The principles you shared can be applied to any adverse situation. The reference to saying “Yes” brought to mind this scripture.1 Corinthians 1:20
For all of Godβs promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding βYes!β And through Christ, our βAmenβ (which means βYesβ) ascends to God for his glory.
What a great word of encouragement for everybody.
Thanks for the like you recently posted.
Aw, thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to red it! i love the book of Corinthians! it is so powerful and applicable! big hugs xox
I spent a couple of hours before a gig tonight at St John Nepomucene Church, on 66th and 1st… sitting alone in the first pew I recited some scripture in my head, I think itβs found in the gospel according to John: βPeace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.β Thinking of you now, and the scripture again… And how the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and the grace to rise. xo Tony
Oh wow I love that passage, thank you Tony for sharing that with me π so glad you had that moment of peace. big hugs xo
good work
thank you so much Tariq! hugs xox
welcome! cheers dear
π₯°
Good to read and excellent tips !!
Thank you so much Vishal! big hugs xox
Amen! Those are some strong tips and the getting angry with the devil is one I’m putting more into practice! That one works A LOT! And in the end you feel victorious through Christ and your walk with Him <3 He's too good! God bless & strengthen you always!
Thanks so much! Amen! God is good! Hugs and love xox
Most welcome! π Amen ALL the time and we must never take it for granted. Right back!
ππΌππΌππΌ