Warning: This post contains sensitive material pertaining to suicide.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
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Tuesday evening I got a very alarmed text message from my friend.
She sent me a link to a news story about a place we visited over the weekend: Hudson Yards, a popular new tourist attraction in New York City.
You’ve probably seen it – there’s a beautiful mall, with an impressive architectural art piece: a 150 foot high, massive beehive-looking structure, called the Vessel, where visitors can climb the interactive steps and platforms, rewarded by sweeping vistas of the Hudson River and the iconic Midtown skyline.
On Tuesday, authorities closed it after a young man ended his life, jumping from the top of the Vessel.
When my friend sent me this, at first, I thought she had mistakenly seen an old article. Because the same heartbreaking tragedy happened over Christmas – in fact, I wrote about about it right here on the blog, the victim being part of the online eating disorder recovery community.
But doing some reacherch, I was heartsick to learn that, no, this was yet another horrific incident. The third suicide at the Vessel, just this year.
But here’s where the real gut wrenching information comes into play.
The ages of the three victims: 19, 21 and 24.
19. 21. 24.
So young. So, tragically young.
All members of GenZ. Each one, having made the decision that their only option was one of cold, finality. May they all rest in Jesus’ eternal peace.
I was gutted, thinking about their families, their friends, classmates. The news stuck with me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it: how these young children felt they had no other way out. No other option. No help. No one to turn to.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people, behind only accidents. And in the past decade, suicide rates have spiked drastically – up 60%. (Time). Sixty percent.
And thinking and praying and thinking and praying, all I could think about was, “Where have we gone so terribly, terribly wrong?“
The lyrics from a popular song a couple years ago goes like this: “I know my life don’t even matter. I know it. I know I’m hurtin’ deep down, but can’t show it. I never had a place to call my own. I never had a home. Nobody callin’ my phone.” – 1-800-273-8255 by Logic
Where have we gone so terribly wrong.
Very few things rattle me anymore, but this certainly did. And my thoughts have been all-consumed by this crisis among our young people. The future generation that we’re supposed to be nurturing and fostering into sound and faithful men and women who will change the world.
And I had some very intense thoughts, which raised some pretty heavy questions that, instead of sitting here harping on, I will just leave you with to consider for yourself.
What is the impact of social media on Gen Z?
Gen Z: The current 10-24 year olds, who grew up with the internet in their pocket or on their wrist. With their life broadcast to the world wide web. The generation that grew up with TikTok, where kids post provocative dances to songs like, “WAP” — standing for “Wet A$$ P*$$y” (excuse my crude french), or other songs proclaiming to “F*** the Police.”
What does the social pressure of online presence do to an adolescent? When peer perception is the ultimate concern, what impact do Instagram “likes” or TikTok “views” have on their feeling of self worth? It’s no longer just having a place in the lunchroom: it’s having a place on the global internet.
What is the impact of such a fiercely competitive cultural structure on Gen Z?
The kids who’ve faced fierce competition to even get into the elite preschools, let alone Ivy Leagues. We’ve seen celebrities like Laurie Laughlin have to serve jail time after committing felonies to get her daughter into “a good school.” What message does that send? We’re making the “be all, end all” be a practically unattainable standard, where the bar is way out of reach. (And don’t get me started on air brushed models.) How would you cope?
What is the impact of the sexually pervasive nature of our culture?
I read the other day that the average age of a child’s first interaction with porn is 11 years old. Eleven! That dehumanization of a person – what does that do to how teens view their own worth? Or the recent explosion of “OnlyFans” – where “everyday” young women sell explicit content to monthly subscribers on the Internet. What is the price of devaluing and commodifying young women, and then celebrating it?
What is the impact of a non-stable home life?
I’ll just say this: the family dinner is a lost art. And it’s a cryin shame. Two-parent households, with the stability of knowing that you’ll come together at the end of the day to debrief and be “loved on” – that is invaluable to a child’s development. Even during adolescence, when all a parent may get is a grunt, or a “yeah, uh-huh.” The stability in knowing that foundation of family is there is priceless. I don’t have to preach about the prevalence of divorce – that’s sadly a statistic we can see in our everyday lives.
What impact has the glorification of gender nonconformity had on our teens?
This is, for me, the biggest one. And yes, I know – most controversial. But what happens when we instill doubt in who an adolescent is at their very core? What is the impact of identity confusion, during adolescence, when they’re carving out who they are in the world? What are the ramifications of a media and culture that glorify those that push boundaries and normalize and celebrate that which is biologically and biblically unsound?
What is the impact of shows like “Thirteen Reasons Why?”
Thirteen Reasons Why – the wildly popular teenage drama on Netflix about a high school girl who commits suicide and leaves behind thirteen tapes, each with a reason why she took her own life. I have written about the despicable negligence of such highly triggering content. And for good reason. The book and the series has been banned from numerous schools after a rash of copycat student suicides. In fact, one of the the Vessel suicides cited “Thirteen Reasons” in her suicide note. What does the glorification and romanticization of suicide have on our teens?
Lastly, and most importantly, how has our culture’s rejection of God and faith affected Gen Z?
Here’s the thing about all of these aforementioned questions: it’s damn near impossible to navigate such tumultuous waters with a faith life. Imagine doing it without a firm foundation of faith — or even sound morality — to draw from. Rejecting God is also rejecting His love. And I can’t think of a more dark or dire existence than one without having His hope and His love to dwell on in times of struggle.
So, basically, TLDR, being a young person in today’s modern “woke” society… it seems incredibly difficult, if not downright volatile. I do not envy such a connected, fast childhood. I’ll the take the creek and the sticks I grew up playing with…(in the 2000’s).
But one thing’s for sure: the loss of these three lives is truly tragic. I pray that Jesus help shoulder the heavy burden of sorrow that their loved ones will now carry for the rest of their lives. And I pray that they find the peace with Jesus that they were searching for here on earth. May God bless their souls, and may God strengthen our Gen Z here on earth. May they hear His call, and invite Him into the chaos of our modern and troubling existence.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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This is so timely. An acquaintance of mine lost his child to suicide right in the fall, right after she found out that school wasn’t staying closed. She was 12. She had missed her friends during the first shutdown; she looked forward to going back to school. Her note said she “couldn’t handle not having a normal life.”
I think the idea that there is nothing ahead – no future happiness, no long-term prospects for “normal” – is what drove three of my relatives to kill themselves. There was nearly a fourth, but she decided to give life another chance and realized that she had expectations about what “normal” and “happy” are. For example, she thought that having a lot of friends and being really active would mean never feeling dissatisfied or alone inside. (That St. Augustine knew a thing or three when he wrote about “restless hearts,” didn’t he?)
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As a gen Z’er, I thank you Caralyn. We were one of the few families that had stable, loving, parents and were prepared to handle life. But I’ve watched friends work through depression, children out of wedlock, suicide attempts, and in my own family, eating disorders. I don’t know the answers either, but I know that you directly touched my family members during the darkest hours of conquering ED, and have given me a ton of resources to reach out to others. I really believe we are capable of changing our culture, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
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Exception imfomation needed to be shared. These are things that need to be in conversations everywhere
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As a member of Gen Z, the accuracy of this entire post was very compelling. You put in words the weight that we navigate and have to watch others navigate or succumb to. Thank you so much for your work!
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A well written and beautiful reflection! Technology certainly has taken too much oxygen from our young people.
When involved in teen ministry, Steubenville retreats, I am amazed at how hungry the young are for adult and grandparenting attention. Urgently hungry.
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This was such an inspiring post, I was hooked on from start to finish. And you’re right. Social presence is now the definition of a successful teen or young adult. And that’s so sad.
And you also talked about how rejecting God is rejecting love and that is very accurate.
In our present world, we are already outnumbered and we just lost three young people again. Even more, who knows?
(Sigh) I worry for us teens.
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Sadly, our children are being taught that we were all an accident of evolutionary processes and that God does not exist. America has been divorcing God from government, society, school, and the family. Poorly trained pastors, preachers and priests have been teaching heretical teachings such as the gap & day age theories, thereby deflecting from the true teachings of biblical text and tenets! Many parents have abrogated their obligations of teaching their children to the school (or screwel) system. It is the downfall of this nation as a whole.😖Great write-up!
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Such an important topic to bring forth and discuss. Our world is facing too many deaths by suicide, deaths by overdose, and an even greater rash of those who are facing lives of hopelessness punctuated by moments of self harm. Yes our culture is to blame, but I the longer I do the work of ministry the nmore I become convinced the answer cannot be addressed at the cultural level. We must deal with this at the grassroots by winning individuals to the idea that they must become countercultural. Only when enough individuals choose to counter the culture will we experience a new Christian sub culture and that may have a chance of shifting the “woke” culture.
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Good post, and a very sad topic. I’ve struggled with suicidal ideations since I was a teen – I still get them sometimes at 34. It’s a very hard and complex topic, and a tragic one. But you’re right that it does seem to be on the rise, especially among young people. I don’t know if I’d blame it on woke culture as much as just the chaos in the world right now in general.
We’re almost a year into this pandemic now and I feel like I’m living in virtual reality sometimes. Just strange times.
You’re right to bring up God and spirituality, though. I feel like my faith was one of the only things that kept me going through my darkest days, especially being inpatient in psych wards. I don’t know if it’s true or just my Catholic upbringing, but I always felt like I’d go to hell or some terrible afterlife if I committed suicide. So, I guess that’s saved me.
Keep on writing. Dark days are ahead, but God is good.
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Hi Nick, gosh, i so appreciate you sharing your story. My heart goes out to you, and I thank you for giving us some insight into such a difficult topic. I’m so glad to hear that you have that faith to draw on. You’re right – God is good and full of love and mercy for us. I love you, friend. Keep fighting the good fight! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you! I’m hoping our country can weather this storm and we all come out stronger for it.
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Me too xox
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Please, for your safety sake, just pray to the Heavenly Father and let all this go.
State school standards banish lessons about World War I, II, Holocaust, Civil War (wnd.com)
MSM calls for “new definition of free speech” – OffGuardian (off-guardian.org)
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Thank you Beth – that is great advice. Otherwise I’ll just work myself up into a tizzy. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
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Truly a tragic situation. You did a good job trying to inject spirit and life into it. Praying for you!
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Thank you for sharing your heart on such a tragic situation. Heartbreaking, really. Praying with you! Hugs and love xox
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All very good points. I don’t understand the hopelessness of suicide… but I’m not in that situation, either. I am 13 and a Christian. I think I’m able to see the other end of the stick – I have lost a lot of friends because I’m not ok with behavior that dishonors God, but my “friends” don’t want to stop. But the Bible says that “the world will hate us (Christians); the world only likes their own…” of course the best friend I can have is Jesus, and I should be content in all circumstances. But often it’s easier to know what I should be than to do it.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts on such a difficult topic. I think you’ve got a really great head on your shoulders. It is very hard to be a Christian in today’s society. Know that you will find the right friends – the ones who are journeying with you towards Heaven, and who can encourage you – and vice versa – along the way! Seek out those faith based communities! I went to youth group when I was in middle school and high school and it really was a great source of Christ-centered relationships! Mission trips, service outlets in your community – all great ways to meet like-minded teens! 🙂 praying for you! you’re amazing!!! Hugs and love xox
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Well said.
Carole
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thank you so much Carole, I really appreciate that! Hugs and love xox
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I agree with this SO much! I raise my 6 year old making sure she knows she has a shelter in God for this very reason. I raise her playing outside with no devices (we do watch movies together) and with the understanding that she won’t be having a phone and social media like some of her friends older siblings (who are 10-14.)
I feel like it’s my obligation but also my happiness to give her a full and gratitude filled life. I see so many kids who become their “issues” it’s announced right along with their name and preferred pronouns…I see such a lack of self and of purpose. Why would you want to be gender-less? I wish kids could see their worth and focus less on social justice and more on living the life that would empower not just them but everyone else.
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Thank you so much Heidi for this thoughtful response. Oh gosh, what a good mom!!! You’re absolutely right – shelter in God. I love that, and it’s so true! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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❤
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xoxo 🙂
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I’m so pleased to see a young woman with good common sense, like yourself, have such a big following! There are so many harmful voices out there. Thank God for yours. I will pray for your voice to be heard by all those kids who need so badly to hear it. Blessings Caralyn!
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thank you so much Cindy, I appreciate your kind words. Hugs and love xox
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You are one of the few Bloggers I purposely read. Your content is hard-hitting and so accurate.
Reading this post has made it clear why there was a pandemic; we were out of control as a society, completely out of control.
I have prayed for many years for things to change well; that change is here. It didn’t come in the way I expected, but it’s here.
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oh my goodness you’re on a reading roll! thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read my blog! it truly means so much! I do think you’re right – we needed a “reset” as a society desperately, and God certainly gave that to us. But I trust in His goodness and His plan. Hugs and love xox
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You’re worth it. Been away for awhile off wordpress, just haven’t the heart so needed catch up..lol Enjoy your day. 🙂
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thank you 🙂 i appreciate it!
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[…] Is Woke Culture Killing Our Kids? […]
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Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
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