It’s hard to believe that we’re coming up on almost one year of Covid lockdowns! It has been a long year. Coming from someone living in a 500 square foot studio apartment by myself, I can definitely attest…it has been a trying year.
Recently here, I have been put in the spearhead position of my friend group (and covid pod) to find a cheap Airbnb for the eight of us to go for the long weekend. It doesn’t have to be in a fancy place, it doesn’t have to have any attractions or touristy things around. I was literally told…”just find a place where we can all hang out together in a house.”
I mean, talk about how the standard of what constitutes a “vacation” have changed. I think back to the era of the Fyre Festival, where young adults were jet-setting around the world to the next Instagrammable luxury hotspot…(not that I was even CLOSE to being anywhere NEAR that crowd)…and now it’s like…find an Airbnb we can carpool to that doesn’t have bedbugs or smell like cats.
Oh, how times have changed.
But anyway…in my quest for a quaint ranch house with a grill, I kept thinking about how…this is all we really want.
To be together.
My friends, we are all living in teeny tiny studio apartments by ourselves in New York City. We’ve braved the pandemic alone in the city, where our only contact to the outside world, has been a computer screen, or our brave bodega guy who has miraculously managed to stay open through it all.
But the truth is, we’re hungry for human connection. Real, in person togetherness that we have been deprived of for so long. SO long.
We’re craving connection.
I’ve been stuck on this thought all day. Because the truth is, it’s not just studio-dwelling New Yorkers who are feeling the weight of isolation after nearly 11 months of lockdown. Maybe where you live doesn’t have quite as drastic restrictions in place, but we’re all grappling with this lack of connection.
Children going to school virtually. Working from home. Strict regulations on get togethers. And just, the fear of either contaminating someone else, or contracting the virus yourself.
It has been emotionally draining, and I feel as though many are hitting their breaking point….as evidenced by my fellow New Yorkers braving the harsh North East winter elements to eat outside huddled underneath heat lamps in their heaviest down sleeping bag coat. We’re getting desperate. We’re nearing the end of our rope.
There has only been one other time in my life where I’ve felt this weight of aloneness, and oppression of fear, and that was when I was at an inpatient hospital to recover from my anorexia back in 2007. As an 18 girl, I have vivid, vivid memories of those first few nights, willing myself to sleep. I was temporarily sleeping on a cot at the nurses’ station so they could monitor my heart overnight. My case was so severe, and my body so dangerously depleted that they feared I could go into cardiac arrest in my sleep.
But there was one verse that really helped me through that time, that I want to share with you tonight, if by chance, you’re like my friends and me, and feeling the weight of being alone.
It’s from Acts 2:25: “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.”
I did not get through those days on my own volition: Jesus carried me. He never abandoned me, even though most days I couldn’t feel Him there. He was, and He fought for me tooth and nail, until one day, I could tap in and start fighting for myself.
Jesus shows us just enough to make faith possible, but hides just enough to make faith necessary.
Hang in there, friends. This too, shall pass. And in the meantime, invest in some boardgames, and enjoy some togetherness with a Covid-safe friend.
I just want to offer up a quick prayer for the March for Life that is taking place virtually tomorrow. Thanks to the riot on Capitol Hill and Covid restrictions, the pro-life march, which usually draws hundreds of thousands from all over the world, has to take place virtually. It has not been covered by the mainstream media AT ALL. And just today, Biden repealed the Mexico City Policy, which banned the US funding foreign nonprofits that promote or provide abortions. May the voice for the voiceless be heard, and may God bless the women who are facing an unexpected pregnancy. May they feel loved and supported, may they know they they have other options, and may they choose life.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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I know what you mean. (first sentence)Delete the I know at the end. Got to get used to writing with my fingers..sorry.
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Haha no worries!!
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Adam walked with God fully known, fully understood. God saw Adam’s loneliness and from his side near his heart.
God introduced Adam & Eve and Adam’s response is the greatest pick up line ever, “Here at last is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone!” Hubba hubba.
We are indeed created for human connection and human community. It is more than marital relationships we seek and need though those relationships have a giving and taking, sacrificial quality exemplified in the marital relationship.
As a human being God has given me the gift of connection through a variety of ways in deep friendships and loads of acquaintances, and through writing. There are moments where I would rather take pen to paper express that which exists in the deepest recesses of my being. It is in the writing where I am able to be most vulnerable.
I know though from painful experience that I need people, to interact with them in meaningful and not-so-meaningful ways. Two years ago while driving through a particularly beautiful part of New York, struggling with the work I longed for something else, a lower paying job that gave me that connection.
As an introvert type person at the end of the day I am t i r e d, however that connection is essential.
Twenty-twenty has been a gift in that regard, take away much of the superfluous noise and disordered attachment (though it’s created others) around us and we see much more deeply our need for connection for the physical touch that brings deep comfort.
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Hi Teri! Thank you for this awesome response. you’re right – Adam was fully known by God. That was the harmony with God before the fall that I look forward to in Heaven!! oh my goodness, i LOL’d at the pick up line!!! haha you’re not wrong! hahah Thank you for sharing your heart – you’re right – expression of the heart through words is a beautiful gift. So glad that you have that. And you hit the nail on the head – 2020 has stripped away the superficial things in our lives, and left us with what really matters. so glad you stopped by. have a wonderful night. Hugs and love xox
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Loneliness. Virtual school. Work from home. Rules, regulations on personal contact. Stay home. Etc., etc. But as you also wrote: “This too, shall pass.” You gotta believe! Don’t stop, ever.
PS: Keep up your good work!
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You’re absolutely right – those things are so hard to navigate. Gotta hang in there! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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It’s funny how life can be kind or cruel, depending on your point of view. You live in an abundance of human beings yet you crave closeness, I live a solitary life on the road as a truck driver and all I wish for is solitude. One state of mind is not superior to another it’s just what we feel is our place on this earth. Is this something ingrained into our psyche, or is this a learned behavior based on life experiences? I don’t see “bad” moments in life as cruel but rather something to be observed and studied for the lesson within. Good can always come from bad if one opens their eyes to the hidden story.
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thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – good can always come from bad! so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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One of the greatest books I read was written by a long distance relationship who felt disconnected. In that place of loneliness he (the author) contemplated his need for this companionship. The longing and lack of provision by not having this relationship caused him to create the perfect friend. All the attributes he needed came forward in his mind. They demonstrated many years of needing such a friend. So many details he had in his mind. He searched the world to find such a perfect companion. Without success he decided to just create this companion. Finally he did and it was YOU! The book is the Bible. Today, he knows we were not a perfect match in the beginning so he gave his life to make up for all our failures so he can live eternally with you. The greatest love story ever written and you are the inspiration!
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Oh my gosh yes! the Good Book!! the greatest love story of all! thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox
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Caralynn, I can appreciate your thoughts. The grind of this pandemic has been especially rough on retirees and seniors.
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Thank you friend. You’re right – it has been incredibly challenging. My heart goes out to you! Hugs and love xox
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The tragic part of these lockdowns and forced isolations is that we are seeing an increase in suicides. We crave human contact and interaction and, absent of these, some contemplate taking their own lives. It’s a sad consequence of these lockdowns. And this may continue even with a ‘vaccine.’ God Bless, Caralynn!
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Thank you Joe for shairng your heart on this. it’s true, and it’s so tragic. I’m praying for those feeling alone, and praying that we can return to some sense of normalcy soon! Hugs and love xox
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❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox
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Praying you get the getaway with friends you deserve ❤️ I’m from Ohio and our restrictions weren’t nearly as bad as what you New Yorkers faced. My heart goes out to you! I know that we are nearing the end of this thing, like the light at the end of the tunnel. Our restrictions are lifting now since the vaccine has come out, it’s only a matter of time. God bless you
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Thank you Riley! Yes the light is at the end of the tunnel! And yes! I just got back on Monday from the weekend trip. It was SO nice. God has blessed me richly with wonderful friends. I am so grateful. Hang in there! Hugs and love xox
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Powerful relatable post. It’s been a hard year and I think we all need this to clear up soon. Very hard to tell how things will play out. Any more, I would highly recommend moving out of New York, maybe move home for awhile. Would help you greatly.
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thank you! yeah, i have definitely thought A LOT about doing that. If i wasn’t in a beautiful relationship, i probably would have by now! so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
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Happy that you’re happy. Wishing all the best for 2021. Hugs and love oxo
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and same to you!
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I miss my friends.
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I feel you there. Hang in there Amanda, praying for you! Hugs and love xox
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