I’m going to be honest, my heart is heavy tonight.
As much as I would love to get on here and give a snappy take on Will Smith’s “slap heard ’round the world” at the Oscars last night, the truth of the matter is, my heart hangs heavy in my chest.
For respect of privacy, I am not going to go into detail, but what I can say is that I am walking a very difficult road with someone who means a lot to me.
Every waking moment is spent thinking about the situation, and every bit of free time is devoted to being there, being strong, being a support.
But to come on here tonight and pretend that nothing is wrong, and churn out an “inspirational” article about this or that, I just couldn’t do it. Not only would it be utterly inauthentic, but the fact is, I spent two hours this morning on the phone, sobbing to my parents with a broken heart. And the only thing I can be with you, my friends, is real and honest.
I just got back from Mass. I went this afternoon, to pray for this situation, and to surrender my broken heart to God.
And when I got home, I had an Instagram Direct Message from a good friend and fellow blogger I met through this blog – shout out Kenneth. 🙂 And in the message, he shared several Bible verses for me to look up. This was completely by chance. No prior knowledge of the situation. Nothing. Just a good friend, sharing scripture. God’s timing is impeccable.
These are the scriptures:
Deuteronomy 20:1 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. (This verse was actually the verse I clung to at inpatient when I was recovering from anorexia.)
Isaiah 42:3 A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice.
Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
There is so much comfort in these verses that Kenneth shared with me, for which I am so grateful. Thank you, my friend.
It is times like these where, words can often feel hollow, but in those times, we have to cling to our smoldering wick of faith — that God will sustain, and strengthen us, with us every step of the way.
We can count on that. He is with us.
He is with us now in our current wilderness, and is creating a way. And even so, for tomorrow.
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