Honesty Only

I’m going to be honest, my heart is heavy tonight.

As much as I would love to get on here and give a snappy take on Will Smith’s “slap heard ’round the world” at the Oscars last night, the truth of the matter is, my heart hangs heavy in my chest.

For respect of privacy, I am not going to go into detail, but what I can say is that I am walking a very difficult road with someone who means a lot to me.

Every waking moment is spent thinking about the situation, and every bit of free time is devoted to being there, being strong, being a support.

But to come on here tonight and pretend that nothing is wrong, and churn out an “inspirational” article about this or that, I just couldn’t do it. Not only would it be utterly inauthentic, but the fact is, I spent two hours this morning on the phone, sobbing to my parents with a broken heart. And the only thing I can be with you, my friends, is real and honest.

I just got back from Mass. I went this afternoon, to pray for this situation, and to surrender my broken heart to God.

And when I got home, I had an Instagram Direct Message from a good friend and fellow blogger I met through this blog – shout out Kenneth. 🙂 And in the message, he shared several Bible verses for me to look up. This was completely by chance. No prior knowledge of the situation. Nothing. Just a good friend, sharing scripture. God’s timing is impeccable.

These are the scriptures:

Deuteronomy 20:1 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. (This verse was actually the verse I clung to at inpatient when I was recovering from anorexia.)

Isaiah 42:3 A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice.

Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

There is so much comfort in these verses that Kenneth shared with me, for which I am so grateful. Thank you, my friend.

It is times like these where, words can often feel hollow, but in those times, we have to cling to our smoldering wick of faith — that God will sustain, and strengthen us, with us every step of the way.

We can count on that. He is with us.

He is with us now in our current wilderness, and is creating a way. And even so, for tomorrow.

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82 thoughts on “Honesty Only

  1. Caralyn, here’s another verse for you: Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
    1 Corinthians 13:13

  2. This is really coincidental. Your article seemed like it was written by my heart. Even though I’m a lot better in the last couple of days, I felt the exact same way throughout last week. I spent 2 days crying over the issue.
    At some point I played “its okay” by Chandler Moore and just cried my eyes out. It helped… Scripture helped too.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers. Going to look that one up right now. Hugs and love xox

  3. God’s timing IS impeccable; I was reading Hebrews 11&12 this afternoon, and in my notes, I wrote, “Growth in holiness requires God’s discipline; not that in our suffering He is punishing us, but that He disciplines us (trains, instructs) through suffering. Suffering is not the point to let go or cast away the spiritual disciplines or pursuit of our faith in Christ, but the time during which the Lord asks us to cling all the more tightly to Him through it, thereby strengthening what is weak in us, refining our faith, and growing us in holiness as we walk ever more by His power and strength in the absence of our own might.”
    God is good, He’s holding you, and His purpose is not the suffering, but that you would rest in His arms through it because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7)

    1. Thank you Eden for this beautiful refection and your support. It means a lot. Hugs and love xox

  4. As Believers we are not immune to the trials and tribulations in this world. The Psalmist said “Though weeping endures for the night, joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30) God is faithful. This, too, shall pass. Joshua 1:9

    1. You’re so right about that, Myron. THank you for your support. Hugs and love xox

  5. I am so sorry that you are going through this valley. Take comfort in the fact that many of us are praying for you and holding up your arms as Aaron did for Moses. God has surrounded you with prayer warriors.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. it really means so much. Hugs and love xox

  6. Here is another passage of scripture for you. Psalm 139:7-12
    Not to take the place of your parents and your special gentleman, but if ever you need an impartial ear, I’ve got two. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ve got two.
    Feel free to message me. The door is always open.

    For now, I’m sending prayers and virtual hugs your way.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and support — and for the impartial ears 🙂 hehe But for real, it really means a lot. Hugs and love xox

    1. that is a very very powerful thought and verse. thanks for sharing it. Hugs and love xox

  7. Hi Caralyn 🙂

    Words mean a lot. So does melody. I <3 words spoken with melody — aka songs! 😉

    Every now & then I have cited song lyrics in my replies to your posts. Do you know that the word for poetry sounds quite similar to "lyric" in many languages?

    I really appreciate the work of many songwriters — they help me to "carry on" through down times. I especially like the poetic work of Bob Dylan … I find it very insightful and much more reflective than hurried, pushing forwards, immediate satisfaction sort of pop songs.

    We should always keep in mind that the words we use today are different than the words used many years ago — language is ever-evolving….

    🙂 Norbert

    ps: I checked out Kenneth's website — and it looks very nice!

    1. Thank you Norbert for this heartfelt response. You’re right – music is so healing. Yesterday during my run I was listening to Christian music and just sobbing. It really has a way of hitting the soul. Hugs and love xox

      1. As you know, I am completely *fascinated* by language (and in particular words). Some aspects of language change faster than others — fads come and go, but things like love and pain, hurt and sad, songs and more last throughout the centuries far more than you and I …. 😉

        Google and Facebook and many others too are also brands that will fade away over time, Unlike the words … TEH Word?

  8. Numbers 6:24-26 NKJV
    “The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” ’

    1. Thank you so much for this comforting verse Andrew. It really means a lot. Hugs and love xox

  9. I’m so sorry to read of your sadness. You are wise to take the difficulty to God, trusting Him for strength. You might find John 14: 15 – 21, with its assurance of the Holy Spirit, to be a help and consolation.

    1. Thank you so much Penny, for your kindness and support. I will definitely look up that verse. Hugs and love xox

  10. I’m saying some special prayers for you, Caralyn. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. It’s one of my personal favorites. ❤️

    1. Thank you so much Mary for your prayers. It really means a lot. Wow – what a comforting verse. I will absolutely be passing that one along. Hugs and love xox

  11. Prayers offered for you and for your situation. We may not know the specifics, but many of us have been through a *lot* and we appreciate that it’s never easy. May God’s blessings and his infinite peace pour out over you as he walks with you and strengthens you to endure, survive, and thrive.

    1. Thank you Pastor Partridge for your prayers and support. it really means a lot. truly. Hugs and love xox

  12. Caralyn, I am torn at this moment. I am saddened to hear you are dealing with difficulty of some sort, and at the same time I am blessed your distress led you to share this post. My prayers as a result of your sharing will be for God to help and comfort you in this time of turmoil, and to thank him for giving you the strength to share.

    Your piece is the latest in a series of signs helping me believe I am not wasting my time with my writing and blogging plans. I have been stuck because of obstacles and doubt for months, but your post today and some of your followers’ comments helped me tremendously. If I don’t get moving now, the only person to blame is me.

    Thank you,

    Eric

    1. Thank you so much Eric, for your support and kindness and prayers. I have been so moved by the outpouring of support and prayers and support. God definitely has some “boots-on-the-ground” angels in this comments section! Hugs and love xox

  13. Hi Caralyn, may God look after you during this time of trial. Look to Him, and He will bless you with peace. This is His reassurance: “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” You are in my prayers and may the Almighty heal your heart and give you tranquility during this moment of tribulation. Blessings always, Jack.

    1. Thank you so much Jack for your prayers and support. it really means a lot. Amen – i love that comforting truth. Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much Derek, I really appreciate your kindness and support. Hugs and love xox

  14. My friend I will send up timber on your behalf. The heart that you have and the spirit of God that is in you will come out victorious in the end. I pray that the water of the Word will fill the cracks of your broken heart. Break up the fallow grounds of your heart and saturate it with the renewed and refreshing living waters of His Word. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Blessings and Peace. With much love.

    1. thank you so much CF, for your prayers and support. that really means a lot. I appreciate it. Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much friend .yes that it definitely true. We all have those seasons. I appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

  15. Praying with you, Caralyn. You are a Sister-In-Christ to many and I know we are each braiding our prayers with yours in this time of need for you, your loved one and the situation. Remember your hand(s) rest in His throughout this tribulation. Rev 2:10 😘🙏🏻😘

    1. Thank you so much Dawn, for your prayers and support and kindness. I am so touched. Amen to that – what a beautiful image: my hands in His. Taking that with me for the rest of the day. thank you. sending so much love and hugs xox

  16. “I was going to post some race baiting trash about Will Smith, but instead got dumped.” Hugs!

    1. Peter. Shame on you for mocking grief. I did not get dumped. We are grieving. Who hurt you, seriously.

  17. Praying God will strengthen you. I have clung to that Isaiah 43:18-19 passage through some very difficult years. He will carry you through this wilderness. He is making way.

    1. I appreciate it, friend. Yes – i have found much comfort in that verse. thank you. Hugs and love xox

  18. “There is no God who would let you suffer so, there is no angel who would just let you go” are the opening words to a song I wrote. Where could I upload the tune for you? Notably, Bhaj

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