The season of “being engaged” — I’m going to be honest, I didn’t realize the enormous importance of it. Sure you’re planning your wedding, and are caught up in the excitement that all that brings. But for that definitive timespan, you’re all of a sudden reevaluating everything in your life: from your finances, to what is important to you, to how you want to raise kids, to where/what community you want to live in, and what type of schooling you want to send you children to.
It’s just like, suddenly, you’ve got to think about the rest of your life, and decide right here, right now, on how it is going to play out.
Yeah, that monumental weight recently hit me, and let’s just say, I am overwhelmed.
Especially given the current battle going on for the souls of our children in culture and the school systems these days. It scares me half to death.
This season involves some real soul searching and examining my deepest beliefs. And the stakes feel higher because the polarity of the country is higher. And the ramifications of certain choices will have a major impact on the formation of our kids, our family, etc.
I need to really commit myself to figuring out deep down, who am I, what do I stand for, and what do I believe? That is my job during this season, so that when I go into our marriage, I know without a shadow of a doubt, the answer to those questions.
My mother so beautifully reminded me on the phone, the answer is already inside of me. It’s God speaking to my heart. It is my job to listen, and discern what He is saying.
Which is why I’m going to start spending some intentional time every evening to shut the world out, and sit and listen to God.
I don’t have any answers to tonight’s post. There’s no neat bow to tie it up with, or a full circle I can finalize it with. Because the truth is, I’m mid-journey on all of this.
One thing I really appreciate about this community is all the wisdom you bring to this table. Though I may not respond to every comment, I read and take to heart every single response. And I learn so much from you.
So I humbly ask, if you have any advice on this – I would love and appreciate to hear it.
I hope you are having a deeply beautiful summer season, filled with family and joy and love. Which, sounds cliche, but as I’ve been in a season of reflection recently, I’m realizing that’s all I want in this world, and I want that for you too.
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“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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