OH MY GOSH! TODAY is the DAY!!!
Roadway movers came bright and early to BOTH Steven’s apartment AND my apartment!
They picked up both our things and loaded the truck that’s headed to Cincinnati, Ohio!!
And let me tell you, they are FAST! And so nice, oh my gosh, so polite and kind. We shared coffee and donuts with them this morning, it was GREAT.
But can you believe it!? Because I certainly can’t! Even looking at both of our empty apartments, it still hasn’t hit me that we are, in fact, MOVING out of New York City. It hasn’t hit me that I will no longer be a “New Yorker.”
It’s funny, when I first moved to New York, like all “incoming newbies,” I was thrilled to be able to call myself a “New Yorker.”
However, I was abruptly informed that one cannot earn that moniker unless you’ve lived in New York City for twelve years. Because…as I was told, most people don’t “last” that long, and only the “real ones” can actually earn that title after surviving Gotham – it’s winters, it’s loneliness, it’s hardness and expenses (in all senses of the word.)
How timely, then, that I am moving out during my 12th year living here. I finally “earned” my New Yorker title, and now that I have, I’m letting it go.
But you know, I don’t think I’ll ever fully “let go” of everything that I gained here.
For as cold, gritty, relentless, dirty and daunting New York is, it was where I rediscovered myself after my battle with anorexia. New York todaughr me to take care of myself; it proved that I do have something to offer; that I’m not what happened to me, but rather – I am who God created me to be. And I am worth a full and beautiful life. And New York certainly gave me the strength and confidence to believe it. And that is something that will never leave me.
Last night, Steven and I went to mass together for the last time as New Yorkers. It was the church I first went to when I moved to New York. I was praying for a husband, a purpose in life, healing in my heart from the deep wound of anorexia, and praying just to become the “girl I used to be.”
And sitting in the pew last night with Steven – the man who is that answer to my prayers, having found a beautiful purpose in this world, strong and secure in who I am as a daughter of God, and confident of His love for me and the value my life has because of Him, it all came full circle.
We are off on the most exciting, beautiful adventure of our lives. I could be scared, nervous – terrified, even. But I’m not. Because if there’s one thing I’ve done since adopting recovery those 13 years ago…it’s living in radical TRUST.
I may not know what tomorrow will hold; I can’t see down the road, or even just around the next bend…but I fully TRUST that God will carry me through no matter what. That’s what He’s done my entire life. My life is living proof.
So that’s all for now. Steven and I are going to go enjoy our last few moments in New York!
Until Wednesday…from Ohio!
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