Redefining Lent

Posted on by beautybeyondbones


Lent.

*sigh*

This is a rather bittersweet time of year for me personally. Because even though it is leading up to Easter and is such a beautiful and intentional season of reflection, it also brings up a lot of pain for me.

Because you see, Lent of sophomore year in high school, was when my anorexia first began.

I gave up sweets.

 

Innocent enough. No desserts or sweets for 40 days. I was being a good little Catholic girl — “challenging” myself during this season of lenten fasting and penance.

But what started as that small denial, quickly spiraled into a lifestyle of extreme restriction, and the next thing I know, I had wasted away to 78 pounds, knocking on death’s door as a shell of my former existence – physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.

So yeah, I look forward to Lent just about as much as I do a root canal.

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But as I was reflecting on all this the other day, I was struck with a powerful thought:

Lent is bigger than me.

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Lent is bigger and more important than Little Ol’ Me going boo-hoo, it makes me feel bad about my past. 

You know what? Everybody has things that remind them of pain. Maybe it’s not an eating disorder, but everybody’s got something. Maybe a broken relationship, or the loss of a loved one or friend, a rejection by a peer, missing out on an opportunity, getting cut from the team, betrayal, bullying. Whatever it is, everybody has reminders of pain or trials in their life.

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And if there’s ever a time to “look beyond myself,” it’s Lent, for cryin’ out loud. This is a time when we reflect on the fact that Jesus made the decision to die on the Cross for us. For you. For me. For my sins. For my eating disorder.

So yes, maybe it’s a little sobering to think about my eating disorder every time Lent rolls around. But perhaps, instead of viewing it from a self-pity/victim stand point, what if I’m supposed to be reminded of that darkness, so that I can fully appreciate what my freedom truly cost? What if I’m supposed to remember, so that I can rejoice in His saving power in my life? Rejoice in the fact that I’m not trapped in that hell hole of anorexia anymore? Rejoice that I was rescued?

Maybe, just maybe, that timing is not by accident.

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So.

Lent.

You can bet your bottom dollar that I won’t be giving up sweets any time soon.

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And in fact, I won’t be doing any dietary fasting, period. It is detrimental to my recovery to fast, even for one day, even for religious reasons. I have vowed never to abuse my body and withhold nutrients from it ever again. I made that promise to Jesus and myself. And tbh, I think it gives Jesus more joy for me to eat and nourish myself for His glory, than to fast and flirt with the behaviors that nearly took my life nearly ten years ago today.

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I will instead fast from negative self talk. From thoughts and lies that erode my self worth. From comparing myself to others and setting the unattainable standard of perfection for my life/body/possessions. I will instead fill myself with His love for me. “Feast” on His words of truth and love. “Feast” on the joy that comes from His forgiveness and from His saving and healing hand in my life.

This is Lent.

It is no longer a reminder of the destruction that nearly took my life, but a reminder of my rescuing by a Savior who gave me new life.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

317 thoughts on “Redefining Lent”

  1. “I will instead fast from negative self talk. From thoughts and lies that erode my self worth. From comparing myself to others and setting the unattainable standard of perfection for my life/body/possessions. I will instead fill myself with His love for me. “Feast” on His words of truth and love. “Feast” on the joy that comes from His forgiveness and from His saving and healing hand in my life.

    This is Lent.

    It is no longer a reminder of the destruction that nearly took my life, but a reminder of my rescuing by a Savior who gave me new life.”

    Now THAT is powerful stuff. You done good, JD. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

    2. And BTW – I just saw that I originally responded, calling you JD! haha my bad! 🙂 I was doing 12 things at once when your comment came in lol But I cannot reiterate enough how your friendship and support has bolstered in me the courage to continue blogging and sharing my faith. you rock Tony! thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Lent is a tradition; a good one if done for the right reasons. Yet if it doesn’t honor Him, then it lacks all meaning and purpose. Our purpose should be in Him, not in feasts or fasts. So God bless you as you celebrate Him and what He has done for us all.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I don’t have much to say except for this. Stay strong and hope faith and love. Just strength in Christ greatly encouraged me on a daily basis. When your book is released to the public, may I please be the one to do the audiobook for you? I play lots of love and blessings towards you. Look up nc that your savior is forever happy because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In fact I want to get love with you one time or maybe more then just one time. You write so good that your story is should be an emery paper across the country. And this is coming from a kid who is Canadian but does not live in an igloo.

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    1. Oh you gosh you are too kind my friend!!! Wow what affirming words. I hope you know how incredibly much I appreciate you always popping by with a nudge of encouragement and a smile. It makes my day. Hugs to you, Mr. Canada! ☺️☺️😎

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      15. Sure I can do that. When you get an opportunity look up the band southern raised they are a brother and sister band and genre of music is mostly gospel bluegrass. Some similar bands to that R the Canadian band rescue junction.

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      17. Yeah not too bad for someone that used to listen to punk rock music. What change of pace from listen to bands like Green Day rancid and of course Billy Talent to going to listen to other music out there like Christian music from Chris Tomlin Jeremy Camp Kari Jobe and others. When I got saved and received the baptism of the Holy Ghost God totally took my case for punk rock music out of my mouth and he replaced it with music that is edifying to God.

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      19. FYI it’s been said that if a child of God sings gospel music out loud, the angels in heaven will quiet down enough so that the Lord me hear you sing. It kind of makes sense because the scripture does say about the Lord and happening the praises of his people.

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      23. Hey BBB. I want to take this opportunity to say thank you for your Christ like goodness. I become greatly encouraged by simply reading your about your stories and experiences. I had this post put on my heart to give you and of course show you the love that Christ would show his children. The words you share in this blog show your readers a compassionate Christ. Our people need much love, it doesn’t matter what colour they may be. God commands all men everywhere to repent and welcome Christ in our hearts, minds and souls. When I read the words you speak I see that you chase the very heart of God and that is simplicity beautiful. Your words are certainly edifying our Lord. I am certain that with the words you speak put a smile on the Lord’s face himself. It does for me. So let your light so shine before men. When battling with thoughts of fear, think on the six things the Lord requests us to think upon listed in the book of Philippians. Anorexia does not define you because faith hope and love remain but the greatest of these is love you have a solid foundation upon the rock that is Christ Jesus. I told you have then made absolutely new. When dad comes to your mind, repeat the versions listed in 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verse 10 and also Luke chapter 10 verse 19. Much like how Christ loves you so do I.

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      24. Wow, wow wow wow. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this outpouring of support and encouragement and friendship and care. You have warmed my heart tonight friend. I am so grateful that our paths have crossed. Hugs and love to you, friend.

        Liked by 1 person

      33. You have me beat by several years. I only fully came to Christ recently within last 2 years. I thought I was saved, it was until I was in college and had near death experience and realized that my life was truly going to be over did I realize the need to call out to God. If you want to read more of my book I encourage you to do so. Who sings I’ve just told you don’t go into detail but as the writings in my book increase so will your knowledge about my life. You once said to me that you don’t want to release your name to the public or the stories set that are set that are all about you. I understand that, I appreciate that. Sometimes though I feel as though I’m reading the book just for one person. You, the reason I say this is because your constant attention you give to my blog.

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      35. That’s good. At first I thought the book itself was going to be a lot of work and not worth posting online but it is the feedback I’m getting on the book is incredible. I’m going to be posting an entry today it deals with independence versus dependency. Stay tuned and look for it because it’s got a lot of myself in it. Have a blessed day

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      46. I’ll pray everyday for you until you know you are loved by God and He grant you a spirit of endless joy. My prayers for you will not go unanswered. The impact you have had on my life as a writer has been a profound one. You are truly one of the best writers I’ve ever known. Danielle steel has nothing on you. Keep walking in the face and strength of the Lord. Remind yourself of the verse spoken about in the Philippines chapter 4 verse 13. remind yourself that it is a child of God can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. I say this I believe this and that settles it and because I believe it. I see it and practices I know that speaking the Word of God give this power over all demonic forces. Even anorexia. Anorexia is a ploy of the devil himself it’s a disease created by Lucifer to destroy the human body we are clay and yet members of the body of Christ. I say this you with great love and compassion must resist the devil humble yourself before God and He the devil will flee from you. I want you to know that the devil was a murderer from the beginning Annie abode not in the truth for this reason the Son of Man was manifested so that he may destroy the works of the devil. Claim freedom because of the man in the middle freedom because of a resurrected Christ be joyful did he so willingly called you out of darkness into the light these words many are called, but few are chosen be happy and humble for the remaining of your days because you is a child of God were chosen to be his. stand on the promises of God and claim victory because of the cross.

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      47. Wow what an outpouring of encouragement and support! Thank you. I can feel your passion in your words. Thank you for the prayers and for YOU continuing to encourage and push me forward. I am grateful for your friendship. Yes, I must claim the victory of t he cross.

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      48. Well to be honest with you, I know it just like to go through trials especially with food. I know what it’s like to go through trials and fight your physical body everyday. I also know what it’s like to want to have the strength and courage to turn that around. I know why you created the blog beauty before bones. You wanted to warn people of the dangers of anorexia as well as encourage others who are dealing or have dealt with the same issues that you have dealt with. I know because it’s the reason I started writing a book on the footprints of my funny feet. you have encouraged me greatly as I’m sure you have encouraged many others across the world. Your words are profound your experiences are real and vivid your strength is admirable. and your compassion for others your greatest sign of love.

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      52. I’m the one that should be grateful. You’re one of a kind. Anytime you need prayer I’m there, anytime you need someone to comb your hair I won’t be however I may come in the mail. I have a question for you do you like music more specifically do you like Christian music? In addition please know that because there isn’t much options out there in terms of Christian friends, you may be one of my best friends.

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      54. Well I think that I’m going to do a blog tomorrow on the power of an acoustic guitar. In reference to rock music and Christian music. There is a difference now I’m going to examine what difference there is. I myself have been wanting to write a post about the topic of music. No Everyone has an opinion on it and everyone can get involved by sharing theirs.

        Liked by 1 person

      56. Some time ago you talked about accountability in your previous blog. Well what if it is the will of God for me to be in an interview to you as well as you being encouraged her to me. Is that a form of true accountability to you?

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  9. It is amazing how the Lord find exciting ways to remind us that He hears our cry. Your reflection is timely in my life (and I’m sure in the lives of others). We are all struggling through something right NOW, and we can remember plenty of times that He brought us through.

    I’ll be reblogging this so my friends and family can bear witness to your trial and how the Lord helped you overcome your battle. Meanwhile, I take heed that He sacrificed Himself for us so that we don’t have to…

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    1. Thank you so much for this. For your thoughtful and kind response, as well as the reblog. I’m glad this resonated with you tonight. You’re right, He made the ultimate sacrifice because we are THAT loved. Hugs my friend xx

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    1. Hi MM! No it’s not a self sacrifice, but the opposite–fasting from dietary sustenance– in my particular case(with the history of anorexia in my past the literally nearly killed me) — I do not feel is good or healthy for me. I love Jesus with all my heart and am eternally grateful for His sacrifice on the cross, and want to express that, but doing so by withholding food is not the way. For me. I hope that clears things up. Thank you for that question! Hugs!

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      1. No, no, I understand! Sorry that wasn’t supposed to be accusatory haha. I just mean maybe that would be a good substitute: While many probably over-eat and fast because of it, your history of (and tendency towards?) under-eating might be met with forced eating!

        I also think you’re right that God is thankful that you’re avoiding this near occasion of sin, and appreciates that you’re still wanting to observe Lent.

        Sorry again for the confusion!

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      2. Gotcha! And no worries! i didn’t think it accusatory at ALL! It’s a legitimate question that I’m glad I was able to answer. But you’re so right — avoiding the near occasion of sin — definitely something I want to do! 🙂 hugs MM xox

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  12. Reblogged this on msktb and commented:
    It is amazing how the Lord finds exciting ways to remind us that He hears our cry. This reflection is timely in my life (and I’m sure in the lives of others). We are all struggling through something right NOW, and we can remember plenty of times that He brought us through.

    I am reblogging this so my friends and family can bear witness to the authors trial, and how the Lord helped her overcome her battle. Meanwhile, I take heed that He sacrificed Himself for us so that we don’t have to…

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  13. So good! Thanks again for your raw honesty — about spiritual stuff , physical stuff and all that happens in between. We need your voice!

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  14. Everything you write touches my heart ,,what is it about 10th grade,,,My daughter started with her depression her lack of of self worth and even though she is better she still fights everyday day to wash away those times,, days,,it’s hard with my son being a sophomore this year and having a great year…and her seeing this but she wouldn’t want him to be unhappy. I am so happy you have turned Lent into a positive thing now and you so amaze me , stay strong my dear, and I look forward to more of your posts.

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    1. Thank you so much, my friend. Ahh, 10th grade. Yes, there’s something in the “water” for sure. But have hope. Your kids will make it through. It sounds like they’ve got a great mom 🙂 Just keep loving them like you are 🙂 hugs and love to you! thanks for the encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you! This speaks to my heart so much. In my discipleship class this week our assignment was to fast if even for one meal and spend that time in prayer. I have had so much stress and things going on that I haven’t even thought about it until now and your post given me pause. So very much to think about. Thank you May God Bless!

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    1. Oh thank you Saudade. Im so glad this resonated with you in the way you needed to hear it. I think God is just so happy for His children to want to worship and love Him, in any way they can 🙂 hugs to you xox

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  16. I always forget about lent and have never given up anything. My church did not practice this, so it never held much weight in my mind. I like the idea of it, but like you, I don’t want to restrict myself in any way that would be harmful. Maybe instead of with holding something, I’ll give myself something each day (not totally the point, but I like it anyway). Maybe each day I will write out three things I like about myself. This will get hard after the first day, but I think it might open my mind to how wonderful God made me to be 🙂

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    1. Hey Ellie! I love that. I think that’s a great idea! Because you’re so right: God made you an amazing, beautiful – both inside and out – young woman, and be reminding yourself and helping yourself believe that– I think that would bring Him so much joy. Because you deserve to feel those things about yourself. Because they’re true! Hugs to you my friend. Let me know how it goes! I’m very interested 🙂 🙂 xox

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  17. What beauty and thank you for sharing. Lent is for me always a reminder of an eating disorder as well and I accepting that I cannot fast can be one of the hardest things for me. Yet I know it is exactly what I need.

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    1. Thank you so much for this reflection. oh my friend, i feel you! You’re so right – not fasting is exactly what we need. And how comforting to know that God just loves us. He understands. And he wants us to thrive. Such a comfort. thanks for stopping by. sending you so much love and hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. A great post to begin the lent season 🙂 I think you are making a wise decision in not giving up dietary stuff (taking into account the past anorexia and all). You vowed to not put your body through abuse and that should be highly applauded. You are very smart and you can easily come up with something different to give up for lent 🙂 As for me, I am giving up this low-fat sugar free latte drink I get once a week from McDonalds 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much John! I appreciate your supportive words. Yes, there will be something else for me this time around. And your right- that vow I made IS important. Haha- LFSFLatte. Quite the order. But I know- we all have our “things” and giving them up is a sacrifice indeed! Thanks for your thoughts! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Ooh, that’s a good one. Yeah, I’d like to do that. My thing is going to be *awareness*. My situational & sometimes spatial awareness needs improvement. I’m going to be focusing more on “offering it up to God”, whatever “it” is in the scenario I face and be more “present” in the moment.

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  20. wow – you completely inspire me. every.single.post. you write straight from the heart, from
    deep in the soul. it is simply beautiful. though i do not share your life struggles/journey– I have my “something” just like everybody else. Yet I still relate to you through Faith. And you move me every single time!

    thank you so much for this reminder during Lent season. xx

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  21. Rebecca, you go girl. I was raised in the Lutheran church – sigh. Talk about things to give up, let’s try Lent. Oh, and by the way, I sleep through root canals!

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    1. Thank you so much! Haha oh my gosh! That’s intense about the root canals! Thank you for your encouragement. ☺️ and just a little thing- my name is not Rebecca! 😬 not that I mind, I just haven’t revealed my identity yet– one day I will work up the courage to, but for right now, I’m just BBB ❤️❤️❤️hugs and love to you friend!

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  26. May God continue to grant you the strength to accept things you cannot change. Learning and growing…you inspire us all. Stay strong xx

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  27. “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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  28. You put your honest emotions on the line. I think that is wonderful. Many readers suffering eating disorders as well as other disorders leading to a reduction in self value will gain important insight from your words.They are truly healing words.

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  38. I praise God for the work He has done in you! I praise Him because you are here, alive, and sharing your life with others so they an be inspired! Good for you for choosing to see the blessings God has for you especially through this lenten season. May you experience a touch from the Lord as you fast and pray. Amazing things happen when God shows up! Thanks for sharing.

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  39. You are a very strong advocate for Christ. Like Mother Theresa your love for others and the savior are quite convincing evidence that you have been transformed as the Bible says by the renewing of your mind. Though I was raised a Protestant and just naturally would not agree with certain things Catholicism says, however I find your testimony compelling and your faith one that will surely clear any bounds I think that a particular tradition may whether I am right or wrong put before you. I hope you can take this as positively as I meant it. Sorry for the length. God bless you!

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    1. Hi there! Oh thank you so much for this:) I completely understand what you’re saying! I personally believe that God is God, and He just longs for his children to love Him and love one another. I have friends and loved ones across all denominations. Our hearts are one for Jesus. Hugs and love to you! Thanks for your thoughtful reflection!

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  44. It speaks to God’s glory that you were able to overcome your anorexia through the power of Christ in you and that He is using you now to be an inspiration for others. I enjoyed your post and thank you for the like.

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    1. Thanks so much Jason! It was all God. And I don’t say that lightly or dismissively. I literally owe my life – my healing of ulcerative colitis, my rescue from the depths of anorexia and recovery – everything to Him. He is awesome. Thanks for reading and your encouraging words. Hugs and blessings to you xox

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  45. Thanks for sharing this. I, too, had a Lenten fast that went awry (mine was 35 years ago) and so fasting from food is not a Lenten practice for me. This Lent, I want to bask in the loving gaze of God–just soak in God’s love of me–and then tell others how blessed i am, how blessed we all are, to have a God who cares enough to become one of us and share in our sufferings. Easter hope, that awareness that life can come from death, is how I redefine Lent.

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    1. Hi Madeline! Wow wow wow what a beautiful and thoughtful reflection! I absolutely love your perspective: basking in His loving gaze — what a comforting thought. It’s like a soothing salve to the soul. Thanks so much for sharing this this morning. You can be sure I will me thinking about this wonderful imagery all day. Hugs and love to you my friend and warrior! Xox

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  46. I am reminded of the words of St. Therese of Lisieux: “May today there be peace within.
    May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
    May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
    May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
    May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
    Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
    It is there for each and every one of you.”

    This is what Lent is about for me. May God’s presence continue to “settle in your bones”. Blessings on you Lenten journey.

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    1. Hey Richard! Oh The Little Flower! I love her ☺️ my oh my what a powerful quote. Thank you so much for sharing it! Yes, May that presence settle into my, yours, and all of our bones! May we dwell in that Love and hope. Thanks my friend, for this wonderful reflection.

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    1. Wow thank you so much! I am absolutely honored that you would read this in your classroom. Seriously. Thank you. God is good and these are all His words, not mine. I hope your students find hope in these words–maybe even someone who is struggling with something similar, may they find comfort in Jesus’s overwhelming love and mercy for us. That is my prayer today❤️ Blessings to you, friend. Hugs!

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      1. I had also passed it along to other teachers. One said that her first period class clapped after hearing it. None of my students gave me verbal feedback, but it was quite apparent that it struck a chord with them. (There has been a lot of pain at my school the past couple of years). It also prompted a conversation with a student concerning something she deals with and what might be a proper Lenten practice for her. I am so immensely grateful for that. Thank you, again, so much. God bless you!

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      2. Hey! Thank you for letting me know! That’s so awesome. I’m glad that this prompted a fruitful conversation. God is good:) I never write for “a response” or anything, but it is so encouraging to hear that it is sparking even one reflection like that. So thanks for letting me know☺️ I’m literally smiling right now reading this. Have a great day! Blessings to you! Xx

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  48. What can I say that has been said already. I’m not into religion but I am with you on not allowing my eating disorder to get too much in the way of my life any more This post is more than just about ED’s -you can choose which direction you want to go and decide to look at things from a different perspective. I love the idea of ‘fasting’ on negative thoughts. I think I will be using that one too. A simply powerful and inspiring and thought provoking post. Pushing the boundaries and becoming more beautiful with each post xx

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    1. Hi Daisy! Oh thank you so much☺️ yes, fasting on negative thoughts and comparisons is so important. And I didn’t realize how much “garbage” I was thinking about until I became intentionally mindful of it! I have a feeling that replacing those things with love and light and positivity is going to be pretty profound. At least it has been in the couple days since I wrote the post! Yes, here’s to looking at things from a different perspective! Thanks for stopping by Daisy. Have a beautiful beautiful day! Hugs!

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